Everything Else Is Trivial

 After a little more whining and wringing of the hands over this weekend’s dinner party, I am now looking forward to it. It helps that I made a cake. The haphazard frosting and unexpected tilt let people know that it was made with love and also verify that my small-motor skills continue to be lousy. You can’t tell by looking, but it consists of a frozen mocha mousse sandwiched between two layers of flourless chocolate cake. And the glaze that appears to have been slapped on by monkeys is actually a Kahlua-chocolate ganache. That plus the case of shiraz I just reserved should see us through nicely. Oh, and a Balsamic Rosemary Dijon chicken recipe that converts its own marinade into a delightful sauce. Maybe some couscous. A big-ass salad. We’ll have a good time. Something everyone should know about me is that I don’t like to eat once I start drinking. This causes all sorts of hilarious mishaps, none funnier than when you are a guest in my home. Imagine my consternation when someone timidly reminds me that we were going to have dinner, too, and here it is – eleven o’clock already and I’ve been kicking ass at euchre for almost an hour. Whoops!

 I talked to my RE today. I can’t decide if my reproductive endocrinologist is a miracle of accessibility and reliability or if I have so effectively relegated this part of our lives to the murky margins that any contact at all is an unexpected delight. This was the second time he called this week. As you may recall, our next step with the RE was to have a FISH study done on Steve’s sperm. This will tell us, statistically at any rate, how bad our chances are in general and whether IVF with PGD could work for us in the future. My RE is in the process of changing to a new PGD lab and, to sum, we are in limbo. He called today to tell me that they will get something for us in the next few days and either the embryologist or the lab manager will call me before the end of next week. He seemed like he was on top of things, so fine… fine.

We have already decided (have I told you this?) to try again at least one more time without any intervention. One more roll of the dice, as it were. Provided that tomorrow’s HSG goes well (see below) I expect to be trying to have another baby (remind me to put up an Ebay link for this gross of condoms) shortly thereafter.

It’s funny. Well, not hilarious, but interesting to me at least. All of the sudden I realized that I can do this again. Not have a second child, we knew we were ready for that, but the strong likelihood of another miscarriage weighing against the slim possibility of another baby surprisingly seems ok. For months I thought “No way” and now, I like those odds just fine. Sixes? Double down!

 I am having an HSG tomorrow at 1. This procedure checks for uterine scarring, which is a very real concern after one D&C let alone four. A more effective way to look for scar tissue is a hysteroscopy. I discussed both options with the Pillsbury DoughB (get it? OB? You should see him) but he is so certain that I have no problems that he convinced me to go the less invasive route. If anything looks weird then we can always go back.

I have two concerns about this procedure. The first is that it will hurt. They told me to take 800 mg of ibuprofen before coming in, and I have heard that some women found the whole thing excruciatingly painful. My best friend, for example, lost consciousness during hers, although the nurse said that had never happened before. And she always was a wuss, even as a child.

My major concern, though, is that the radiologist will actually come into the room. And that some scheduling nightmare will ordain that this radiologist will be the head of radiology for the hospital. And I will promptly die of embarrassment. For he, my crumpets, is our next door neighbor. I know we are all grown-ups and he is a professional etc., but the idea of lying in a dimly lit room while some wand monkey manipulates the dildo-cam and Mark (Mark!) nods and points at the screen…

“Hey! I see you guys got the pool open. Fabulous! Yeah, we are thinking about putting one in over past the driveway… yikes! that’s the cervix!… So, are you free for the vertical party in July?… Oh, three D&Cs and then there was the second-trimester abortion at the Minneapolis clinic… Kids doing well?…”

Gak.

Please tell me a) if I should take something stronger than ibuprofen and whether I can drive myself home and b) if there is the smallest chance that I might actually see a radiologist because then I am DEFINITELY taking something stronger than ibuprofen and he can just drive me home.

Comments

[Jenn (the one with Sam)]

Hey there:

OK -- HSGs. I won't lie -- the first one I had was astonishing. But -- in a freakish twist of fate -- the flouro (sp??) died just as they injected the dye, they had to do it again, the OB got called out for an emergency c-section and by the time he came back my cervix was swollen beyond recognition (although I am not sure I'd recognize a cervix).

I had another one two weeks ago. I kid you not -- I did not feel a thing. It didn't hurt at all. The OB said they've changed the catheters over the past couple of years and it doesn't hurt to have them in any more. Plus she said that after you've had a child they don't tend to hurt. And I had a little blockage and they injected the dye four times to clear it (successfully) and still, not a moment's discomfort. I was a tad crampy after, but no worse than with AF. And I had no drugs. I actually forgot to take them.

OK -- this is long -- but don't worry for a minute. Really.

Jenn

[Jan]

I appreciate your blog for the support it gives those of us fighting secondary IF! thanks.

My hsg was not painful at all. I took some rxd anti-cramp stuff an hour before, drove myself home. More uncomfortable than a routine pelvic, not as bad as a d&c. The radiologist WAS present, along with an OB, a rad tech, and assorted onlookers touring the hospital. Ok, no onlookers...

Don't worry!

[Mollie]

For me, it was like a pap smear, but twice as twinge-y, and my period, with the worst cramps. I forgot to take the prophylaxis of Advil as well, but just thought, "Oh well, I'd do it differently next time." Wasn't bad for me.

[maricar]

It wasn't too bad for me either. I took 800mg of Aleve an hour before the procedure and it worked, sort of. The cramps weren't too bad, was too used to the endo pains I guess. Good luck!!

[Linda]

My HSG was not any worse than about 10 seconds of heavy period cramping. Half occurred when they threaded the catheter and the other half when they injected the dye. Not bad at all.

And I only saw the radiology techs because one of my OB's partners did the procedure. The radiologist just checked the pictures later.

Good luck, Julia!

[jilbur]

I'm increasingly thinking that the one bad experience I'd heard about previously was due to the dr's incompetence, based on the above. That's a relief! Good luck, sweetie.

[Julie]

My HSG was the most painful procedure I've ever had. And I've had a lot. And I am not a pantywaist. Had I known how bad it would be, and had I had access to a veterinary pharmacy, I would have gobbled a handful of horse tranquilizers beforehand.

Your cake looks beautiful it has personality and the party sounds divine. I would like your chicken recipe, please.

And I'm sorry you lost your friend.

[Kathy]

I had a HSG and it does smart quite a bit- took my breath away for a moment but it was over pretty quick. I drove myself home without a problem- I think I may have had mild cramping but nothing big.

[Heather]

I'm one of those who passed out during an HSG, and yes, I probably qualify as a wuss. But I did forget to take any pain meds and was so busy beforehand that I forgot to eat breakfast, so my blood pressure just bottomed out. It hurt a lot, but keep in mind, I could just be a wimp. Thankfully, it's over QUICKLY (even quicker if you just faint).

[Kat]

I am the world's biggest wimp and the HSG didn't hurt at all. The worst part for me was the speculum as in any gyn exam. A radiologist actually did the procedure, no OB in sight.

I didn't take a thing.

[Lisa S (of the ex-iParenting diarywriters)]

My HSG was as everyone else described - sharp crampy and then nothing - drove myself home -but I think the worst of it was my emotional state. It was before I had any children and I was being treated for infertility due to PCOS, which I treated like a death sentence (yes, I am melodramatic). If my state of mind was better, I am convinced it would have been even less uncomfortable. I did have an amnio with this last pregnancy and, if you have any basis for comparison, the amnio was worse and I was crampy far longer.

Best of luck to you, and no, you should not see your neighbor unless he is a nosy git.

[shaunacat]

I realize this has next to nothing to do with you post, but I think the cake looks fabulous. ;o) Sounds delicious too, wish I could find a recipe (for a kitchen-retard like me) like that!!

[Lisa]

I hate to add my voice to the choir of those who found the HSG painful, but I'm afraid I must. I took 3 Advil ahead of time (as had been recommended), but at the moment they started injecting the dye, it hurt a lot. So much so that I actually cried out and then whimpered until it was over. Neither behavior is typical for me. At least not in public.

A radiologist did come in an introduce himself, but then he left me to the care of his lackeys.

I wish you the best of luck and a pain-free experience. I also wish I could come to your house for dinner--sounds like a hell of a party in the offing.

[bec 34]

I skimmed through the comments and feel I should share my HSG experience too. I had it twice. Neither was bad at all. It was always my understanding that the ones who had a lot of pain are those with blocked tubes, and I'm sure you don't have blocked tubes. (I found out during my c/s that one of my tubes is actually all messed up, but I guess not technically *blocked*).

My advice: follow the ibuprofen directions you were given. You'll be fine!

Oh, hold on. I just realized you posted this yesterday and I'm probably too late. But you're a couple hours ahead of me so who knows? Good luck and the cake looks yummmm.

bec :D

I skimmed through the comments and feel I should share my HSG experience too. I had it twice. Neither was bad at all. It was always my understanding that the ones who had a lot of pain are those with blocked tubes, and I'm sure you don't have blocked tubes. (I found out during my c/s that one of my tubes is actually all messed up, but I guess not technically *blocked*).

My advice: follow the ibuprofen directions you were given. You'll be fine!

Oh, hold on. I just realized you posted this yesterday and I'm probably too late. But you're a couple hours ahead of me so who knows? Good luck and the cake looks yummmm.

bec :D

[Gretchen]

Hey Julia,

I don't want to scare you, but I want to make sure that you're adequately prepared...

I was prepared for my HSG to be painful, and it ended up being worse than expected. I took a few Aleve ahead of time, and I probably would have passed out without them. The discomfort began when the catheter was inserted, the real pain started when my uterus was full and he was trying to get the dye through my tubes. I was moaning and wanting to move around, and the nurse kept having to remind me to breathe. The instant the catheter was removed, about 90% of the pain was gone. Afterwards, the doctor said that he had to push pretty hard to get the dye through my tubes, and that's probably why it hurt so much. By the time I was dressed and leaving the hospital, I was perfectly fine. I did have some tiny cramps about 4 hours later, but I doubt that I would have even noticed under normal circumstances.

But I've also heard from a lot of ladies who describe their HSG as slightly less comfortable than a pap smear. Hopefully yours will be uneventful!

[Julia S]

Thanks guys, this helped a lot. We seem to be split about 60-40 between ok and not so ok. But no actual fatalities, so that's something.

I'll post when I get back.

Oh, and I wish you guys were coming for dinner and the cake with the great personality (HA!) I'll write up the chicken recipe - it's a winner.

[Crystal]

Just wishing you good luck.

[bluepoppy]

Jesus. Just READING the descriptions above have me feeling crampy and wishing for morphine. Y'all are some serious heroines. And Julia, to be getting an HSG and then hosting a dinner party for 12?! I'm in awe-- feeling unworthy to even be reading this blog.

[Liz]

I think I'm in love with Waistdog. And I want to punch that goth girl.

[Cecily]

I think the amount of pain an HSG gives you is directly related to two things: remembering to take pain medication first (I didn't) and whether or not your doc uses a cervical clamp--mine did, ouch, ouch, ouch, then it was the burning and stinging and cramping of the dye. I managed ok except for some extreme profanity.