Not

So I did, indeed, take a pregnancy test and it is, truly, negative.

Aw rats.

Now I feel foolish for having admitted that I was hopeful in the first place. It is always so much more becoming to just find oneself unexpectedly blessed.

I feel surprisingly vulnerable now that I shared my unfounded suspicions. Why? Dunno.

The good news is that my father-in-law is taking us out to dine at a wicked nice restaurant and he has ex-qui-site taste in wine.

Sigh.

Comments

[Christine]

I'm sorry. Truly sorry. I was really hoping for a positive for you, and I had already put in my request to the powers that be that the chromosomes would be all lined up in a row.

And don't feel foolish. Three years, I've never had a true positive, and I've spent today pummeling my breasts. That's foolish.

Have some good food and even better wine tonight.

[jilbur]

Oh goodness.

I should have refreshed your blog page before sending you the email.

We are bonded forever in urinary sisterhood, since we both foolishly used the hpt today.

Now that I have polluted your brain with the phrase 'urinary sisterhood,' you have something to divert yourself with: you can try to obliterate that noxious formulation from your brain for the rest of your life, mbwaahahahahaha. xox

[Tonya]

Foolish? Dear heart, anyone who is trying to conceive (even those of us who are not REALLY trying, just seeing what happens- um, that's not me, by the way. We're still REALLY trying and will admit it to anyone who will listen. OK, I will admit it to anyone who will listen, Jarrod seems to be content with admitting how much he has been getting it for the past 6 months.) Where was I? Oh yeah, anytime I ovulate I automatically wonder if my ice cream cravings are actually motivated by pregnancy. They haven't been so far, so thank God for alcohol.

Speaking of... enjoy your wine, darling.

[Crystal]

Becomming? What? Julia, you know better. You know by now that the reason we all pant at your lovely in spite of their size (which is so big. Sure they are) feet, is because not only are you as becomming as anyone else as regularly as anyone else, but you're becomming in ways and at times that normal people can't manage.

So there.

Sorry. So sorry. Enjoy the dinner and the wine. I hope it helps (sure it will. But I can hope). Dessert might be nice. I find chocolat pots du creme serve nicely, but I like smooth, soft creamy chocolate when I'm in need of some cheer. Along with healthy doses of a nice vintage port.

Crystal

[Mollie]

Pshaw, woman!!

Hell, damnit, shit, we were all hoping too.

[JulieB]

Sorry about the BFN. Please don't feel foolish about sharing your hopefulness. We've all been there.
Any chance it might just still be too early??
Hope the wine was just splendid.

[bec 34]

I too, am truly sorry for the BFN (as JulieB so descriptively put it; have I mentioned that I am responsible for that particular attribution to negative hpt results? It's my one claim to fame, so I might as well claim it). Seen so many, I'm familiar with how they make your heart dive into your shoes, and prompt you to pull out the waterproof mascara. :_(

Or wineglasses!! :) :o

bec

[bec 34]

Oops, I meant "appellation," not "attribution." Durn it.

[Vanessa]

Oh Julia! I've found you at long last. The Pregnancy Diaries are just not as much fun without you. No one there can exquisitely use the word fuck like you can. (sigh). I've thoroughly enjoyed looking at pictures of your beautiful home (my brother might be buying a house in Afton as well) and your even more beautiful boy Patrick. One of my friends has a photography business right in your neighborhood: Sandi @ Afton Woods. Phone # 998-1964 and she's the best in the business. I can't help but give her a local plug. :) I'll get off my yellow-pages rant now and wait patiently until your next blog entry. I've missed your humor and your wit. You need a goddamn national column.
Vanessa (still waiting for the time the two of us aren't knocked up at the same time so we can polish off pitchers of margaritas and have our husbands drive us home.....)

[Melissa S]

Foolish would be me, some months pondering the possibility of pregnancy.

Even though my uterine lining was effectively burned out and my husband has had not 2 or even 3 post vasectomy clear sperm counts..he's had 4.

And still, even though i'm not trying and even though I have no desire to actuallly be pregnant. I find myself allowing thoughts of possibly being pregnant against all odds to cross over my conciousness.

Of course I am insane and entirely unbecoming!

[Monica]

I'm really sorry Julia. I was hoping right along with you.

[Julie]

Wine for my friend, barkeep.

[e]

I'm sorry. My margarita offer still stands......if the weather would change we could meet at a beach and sip them out of coffee cups while the children played in the sand.....

[Julia S]

Thanks guys. It's cool, really.

Vanessa, Hi! When's the new baby hitting the scene?

Elisabeth, That sounds absolutely perfect. Let's do it!

[Moxie]

Bah. What is it with these fucking pregnancy symptoms? I got burned last month by phantom symptoms, too.

[Judy]

You've inspired me! I finally entered "blog world". You seem to really enjoy it and I enjoy reading yours so I decided to take the blunge. Hope you'll stop by! Judy
http://chowgirl386.blogspot.com/

[Kim]

its that kind of month. I'm a newer reader, and a non-commenting scum-bitch sorry *blush* I know its "mean" to be a lurky-reader.
May began cycle 16 of TTC. And 1 day, ONE dpo I thought "hmmmmmmmm" and so every DPO was more "hmmm-full" than the last. And the stick peeing and cup peeing began. -, again, again and again until 11 dpo when, with my reading glasses on, in my teeeeeny tiny bathroom, with 3 lights and my super-vision-powers enabled I *might* have seen the worlds faintest 2nd line. Maybe. 12 dpo... well there might still be a line... or am I squinting too hard? Day 13 a crisis, no tests! How can this BE??? and it tastes like I'm sucking pennies. 14 dpo, finally "a clearly super faint line" I'm still peeing on sticks. And I will keep peeing on them until I m/c or deliver I think. Now I do feel bad, because you might really really not be pg. And then I have handed over false hope- which is somewhat cruel. But I haven't given up on this cycle for you. However, my Dr says until the test is + you can drink b/c nothing has implanted so the wine won't reach the baby.
(((hugs)))

[Kristine]

Bummer. All I can suggest is extra wine. My reccomendation would be 2-3 additional glasses after your normal consumption. Just because.

[Laney]

Hi- I'm Laney. I've been so frustrated with this ttc thing as it seems many of you are. I'm 42 and on a 2nd marriage. I miscarried in my twenties. Then once with my ex-husband. Again with my current husband last fall. Today my period is due and my temperature shows that it probably wont arrive today. My spirits are low because I am afraid of being hopeful and putting myself (and my poor husband) on the wacko roller coaster once again.
When people bring up my age it makes me want to scream. One of my best friends just had a baby yesterday at 42. My sister is 40 and having a baby in two months. My oldest sister had a baby at 43 and 1/2. So, why can't I? I find myself checking every symptom everyday...I've pinched nipples, overchecked the cervix, you name it; I've done it...It feels so stupid...thanks for a forum to vent. Hopefully, I won't be such a "load" next time....Lane