Better Late

Hi, sorry, I know you've been checking for updates. I apologize for not posting sooner but right after the ultrasound I went for another hcg check and then I came home and crawled into bed.

But three hours of self-pity seem to have done the trick and I am up again. Not only I am up but we are going out for Japanese food, although I fully expect to hurl since life is a cruel and vicious bitch-goddess (ha ha- just kidding, life, I love ya.)

I'll tell you what I know. I am down to one gestational sac, although those interested in the trivial may be fascinated to hear that this radiologist posited the original existence of three possible sacs. Huh. Anyway, only one has anything going on right now. The sac measured 5 weeks and three days, which is perfect by my hazy calculations. There was a yolk sac but nothing resembling a fetal pole, causing the radiologist to declare this one doomed. Probably. When I went to empty my bladder between the abdominal and vaginal ultrasounds I was shocked to discover a smidge of bright red blood. This has been followed by a little pink spotting this afternoon. Isn't it fun how every doomed pregnancy is different? I have NEVER had spotting before in my life. Even a month after fetal demise I tend to just plod along but not this time. What a sucker I am.

I finally talked to my OB's assistant (I adore her) and she said he wants to see me Monday morning. She also said today's hcg level was 50,000 and something. Oh, and that he prefers the oral progesterone. My internet consultants are all saying vaginal! vaginal! vaginal! so I am torn. The voices of experience or my medical provider? I have both types on hand....

So, we'll see. I am not sure I believe the radiologist's assertion that there should absolutely be a fetal pole. Maybe.

And I started throwing up today. A lot.

Hugs and kisses for all the wonderful messages, by the way. I love you guys. Any thoughts on the latest ultrasound/hcg/spotting/morning sickness?

Comments

[dayment]

I have no advice, only well wishes.

[Linda]

Oh, Julia, why can't you just be normal?

I'm choosing to focus on your HCG rising and the fact that the embryo is measuring where you think it should measure. Damn what the radiologist thinks or your spotting.

[Kris]

Not pregnant at the moment, trying to get pregnant, taking BOTH the oral and the vaginal. What's it going to hurt. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the blood is from the sac(s)? that are missing.

[Julie M]

Hey Julia,
You may remember that I didn't see a fetal pole at 5w4d and was freaking. Then it was there at 6w4d. However, as I think you know, there were lethal anolomolies by u/s at 10w3d and bad cvs results by 105wd. Our final diagnosis was full, non-translocated Down's. Unbelievable to have a translocation, then to have a flukey-type thing to happen on top of it (I'm only 32, so it wasn't due to advanced "maternal age"). Twice bitten, a thousand times shy.

I hope for you that it resolves itself quickly, whether good or bad. The not knowing is the worst.

Good luck,
Julie

[JuliaKB]

I've been clicking all day.
They couldn't see a damn thing beyond the gestational sac on my 5w?d u/s that is now a very funny 2year, ~5 month old. My doc was running late that day, delivering twins since the night before. I ended up with the head of the u/s in the practice. He was very funny and reassuring. He told me I didn't need a doc just then, I needed a rabbi. He said he understood me freaking out, but that I should come back a week later for a good look-see, and take my suppositories in the meantime, and that he would personally do my u/s next time. I did. At 6w+ they could see a fetal pole and a good heartbeat. But I didn't really breath better until after the first trimester. (My miscarriage was after we saw the heartbeat-- I still have the u/s pics.) I am choosing to focus on the morning sickness and the rising hcg. My OB's nurse said that as long as you feel sick, you are pregnant...
I hope this helps. And I really hope this one sticks.

[patricia]

It seems like there's a ton of room for hope. But hope's a bitch isn't it?

All I know is there are a million stories with happy endings out there and I'm really, really hoping that yours is one of them.

[Lisa]

Okay my first pregnancy was twins. I miscarried one twin and had HCG going up and down and spotting and the whole nine yards. The other twin was fine(though we had hard time seeing pole and then heartbeat) but eventually we did. The fetus progressed normally in spite of the demise of the twin. I had uterine abnormalities that later caused the demise of the healthy fetus- which I presume you don't have the uterine problems- so I would think you could be okay.
My best friend did the same thing m/c a twin, but then delivered a beautiful baby girl- she is now 7. I think you have cause for cautious optimism.
Hoping good things.

[Christine]

Nothing else to add medical-wise, but I am also thinking good thoughts for you. And the statement "isn't it fun how every doomed pregnancy is different" is the saddest thing I have ever read. Seriously. Really, REALLY hoping for this one to spend the weekend in a growth spurt.

[Julia]

Jesus.

I hate this time period. No answers anywhere. The magic 8 ball is for shit.

I, too, had no spotting ever EVER before this one. Who the hell knows.

The numbers sound good, though. I'll be praying that mister radiologist is just reactionary.

[Laura K.]

Spotting: Could it be that, since there may have been at one point three sacs, and that there was at least 2 last week, the spotting is from the extra sac? I actually had quite a bit of bright red spotting with Katie - scared the living hell out of me but we all know how that ended. So, I don't know.

The rising hcg IS a good sign. With my last miscarriage my hcg did continue rising at the end, even after I'd started spotting, but it was rising VERY slowly and irregularly - this doesn't seem to be the case w/yours.

As for the fetal pole, I dunno. Isn't it a bit early to see it real clearly? By 6.5 weeks you should be able to see that, along with a heartbeat, but right now I'm not sure.

It is unfair that you're feeling so crappy and getting bad news at the same time, but maybe the feeling crappy part is actually a good sign?

Traverse, Julia, traverse.

[getupgrrl]

No advice, but love, and lots of it. So much love.

[Liz]

I'm lost for words, Julia, but want you to know that I'm hoping like crazy for you over here, and sending much love your way.

[Jen P]

lots of love Julia. Wishing nothing but the best of outcomes.

[Catherine]

Im so so sorry for the apparent loss(es).Im holding out high hopes for this 3rd sac.I agree with other posters that at that stage a fetal pole is not always evident.I have heard of way too many dr.s that dont use the oral prog. at all - it is supposed to really deteriorate in the digestive processes.Ive known women who used topical prog. cream to support a pregnancy with a good outcome.Hugs,Catherine

[Summer]

Sending you lots and lots of love. Also, praying. I'm not giving up on this one yet, Julia, though I agree that you should do whatever you have to, psychologically speaking, to get through this time. If you have to pretend you're a dog, that's ok, as long as you post a "woof woof" sometimes to let us know you're hanging in there.

I've always seen morning sickness as a good sign, though I know you've had it in pregnancies other than Patrick's. Still, it's a non-bad sign, a possibly positively good sign, and you could always use it to your advantage and vomit on your unwelcome houseguest....

Here's more love, and there's more where that came from.

[Summer]

Oh! One more thing I remembered. If you vomit really enthusiastically, that alone can make you spot. The blood vessels are so engorged and near the surface that any kind of forceful activity can make them pop. Happened to me when I was pregnant with Dorian, when I tried to eat french fries after taking my industrial-strength prenatal vitamin.

And here's a little more love for good measure.

[Brooklyn Girl]

Sending you love, sweet thing.

[Barbara]

I have a beautiful 18 month old grandson. His mom (my daughter) thought she was losing the pregancy when she started spotting at 5 weeks along. Her HCG was so high (don't know the number) that her OB was sure it was a twin pregnacy. She spotted and passed a little tissue for about ten days. However, one baby made it the full nine months, and we adore him. Her OB told her it was called Vanishing Twin and that it occurs more often than people realize. So I'm hoping that you too will have your baby in spite of the spotting and disappearing sac.

Thinking of you. So sorry to hear about the lack of answers, and incredibly sorry to hear about Kevin as well. Good thing you're a tough broad surrounded by a heck of a lot of love.

Jeanette

[Andrea]

Thinking about you, Juila.

Oh- my friend, another Julie, also miscarriage-plagued, had progesterone so low during one of her pregnancies that it was pronounced chemical. And she bled for months/ Not spotted, bled. The chemical pregnancy started preschool yesterday. So, it happens.

[jilbur]

Wise morons like me don't give advice because we don't know bullshit--but I do send my love and hope. xox

[Kim]

hey sweetie, I'm sorry for the losses :( But I haven't given up hope. I haven't had a baby that lived WITHOUT spotting. I'm 12 weeks now and am actually still scared because there was so little spotting this time... hows that for a queer twist of fate? So spotting- its scary but not always bad ((hugs))

[Crystal]

I don't even want to go here, but... I've been honest with the good, I'll be honest with the bad.

The mid-pg loss we had, I did have spotting early on. Still kept plodding along until 3 weeks later after our little one left us.

Then again, I've spotted with Michael and Drew, so who the hell knows. I never never spotted during pg, now I do every one, rain or shine.

But sadly, spotting early doesn't mean you won't end up needing medical intervention should things not progress well.

I'm hoping this is all irrelevant.... : )

Crystal

[Pazel]

I don't have any experiences to offer, except that I think you should also continue the progesterone in as many forms as they give you, and wait for the next ultrasound. I also don't think you can see everything so early, but I would also be freaked out by any negative comments by the radiologist or any spots.

[SimoneG]

I had my first scan at 5w3d to rule out the possibility of another ectopic. Being an IVF/ICSI pregnancy, I'm pretty sure of the dates. The scan showed a gestational sac, but no fetal pole or yolk sac. The doctor didn't seem too hopeful. I went back for another scan at 7w3d after noticing some pink spotting. This time we saw a fetal pole and yolk sac. The spotting was caused by a 'small inferior peri-gestational haemorrhage' which is, apparently, quite common in early pregnancy. I'm now 30 weeks.
So, in my opinion, 5w3d is far too early to show anything conclusive. I'll be thinking of you...

[Christina]

I don't have any advice, but I've got lots of "Best Wishes" for you. I hope that u/s tech was just being over-cautious given your previous losses.

[Mer]

Why can't it be easy???

I will second everyone's comments about the size of the sac/yok with no fetal pole .TOTALLY normal for 5w3d or so, ESPECIALLY with the development of 1 or 2 other sacs (which slows everything down). I bet 1 more day & it would've been there.

As for the spotting, definitely could be from one of those sacs, and it could also be from the vaginal supps. I had pink spotting for 2 weeks before I stopped taking them just to see if that was causing it.. never saw another drop.

So, although I hate that you didn't get a better and clearer picture, I would hardly doom this pg. And I hate that dumbass tech for saying such a thing. I know you won't get your hopes up, but I'm going to keep 'em up FOR you. Take care & keep us posted. What's the next step? Next u/s?

Mer

[Monica C.]

Just wanted you to know I hadn't forgotten about you. I *had* forgotten, however, that my OB friend has gone on vacation, and that is why she (perfect being that she is) hasn't replied to my e-mail about you.

As soon as she replies, I'll let you know.

Much love . . .

M.

[karen]

I am concerned...MY HCG was at 8750 at 20 days. I miscarried that night. Belief is that there were more than 1 sacs. At day 23 my HCG was at 1800. Now Day 25 I had an ultrasound at is shows a sac, but HCG has dropped to 1450. My progesterone level is high. My Dr. thinks I lost 2, but still have 1. Has this happened to anyone..what about the drop in HCG...can it come back up?

[Diannah]

I had a pregnancy from hell. Bleeding from my 5th week thru my 9th month...every month like a period. I had issues with my HGC not increasing like it should. I was put on progesterone at the 6th week thru the 4th month. What a pain in the butt...every 12 hours. Chad called it the progesterone freight train. I cried, puked, screamed, cried. I was also unsure that I should take such steps to stop self aborting a sick embryo... nevertheless I did it. 12 ultrisounds later, I had a health happy beautiful baby girl. Never give up and throw in the towel!

[deanna]

I went to my doctor for an u/s 1 wk ago. She found 2 sac's but a baby only in one. The baby in the one sac today is 9wks2days. They have me coming back at the end of the month for another u/s to see if anything has happened in the other sac. It has me really upset. I've never heard of anything like this befor. Can you get preg twice in one shot? If you have ever heard of such a thing please email me maybe you can help me feel a little better about it. Thanks Deanna

lildee27@hotmail.com

[MaryM.]

My husband is in the Army, and we live on base. Therefore, we see Army Doctors for things such as pregnancy. Well, yesterday (11-8-05) I went to the ER with some back pain and cramping. I have no bleeding at all and I am supposed to be 6 weeks along. I had my period on 09-29-05. The dr in the ER was not friendly at all. This is my 4th pregnancy and I only have had one complete pregnancy. I had a molar pregnancy in January of 05, and two miscariages this year. As with everything else in the Army, they have told me to play the "Hurry up and wait game". See, here they do this thing that if you are not High Risk, you go to Family Practice for your check ups. If you are high risk, you go up to the OB floor for check ups. Well, you have to do this whole stupid registration thing and there are so many DAMN people here that you can't get an appointment for weeks. Anyway, I digress. I had an ultrasound this morning and after calling A MILLION DIFFERNET A-HOLE PEOPLE, I finally found out that there is a sac, but no fetal pole. I tried to see if I could get a progesterone test to see if maybe it is low. I don't have morning sickness, and my boobs are not all together very painful...they do hurt but not badly. I wish I could just freaking go to a regular dr that could speak plain english to be instead of military hoo-haa bull crap! It is so hard to get anything done around here that I could lose this baby too before anyone ever gets to see me!

[krisha]

my last cycle was on 9th july i got my sonografy done on 12th aug i could only see my pregnancy and yolk sac my feetal pole was not seen it was 5.5 weeks but after 3days on 15th i had a brown discharge only once doctor has given me susten 200mg to eat 1 morning 1 evening she even said there is 50-50 chaces of survival or miscarriage i will get my sonografy dne on 29th august mean while you help me out please

[lelee]

Hi my last cycle was on 18 july.
Does this make me 6.5wks or 5.5 weeks.
Because I went for my scan and told there is a yolk sac but no feetal pole was seen.
They say its still early but reading from others if you go by the 6.5wks it should have been seen.