Hints From Hell

I wanted to let you know that I wasn't always defined by the rather narrow confines of this house. Once asparagus spears trembled when I bellowed and production lines ground to a halt when I screeched, "No, you idiots, we need 5000 cases of Mexicorn! Not creamed corn! Mexi'd!"

However, now, by popular demand, I give you ten things to do with baking soda:

1. I put about 1/3-1/2 of a cup in with the laundry detergent. You can then use less detergent and it gets out every conceivable odor from the wash. We used Dye-free, Scent-free detergent and sometimes Steve's frisbee stuff would still smell a bit rank. No more!

2. Soak a really tough pan with warm water and a couple of tablespoons of baking soda. It will wipe up easily. For the really hard bits sprinkle on a little more baking soda and scrub.

3. This is VERY bad for the enamel*, however, if you are noticing a certain tea or wine-induced discoloration of your teeth you can use a little bit of baking soda on your toothbrush and polish 'em right up again. Save for emergencies - it is hard on your teeth.

4. Speaking of baking soda and the mouth, dab a little bit on an early canker sore and it will take the sting away and hopefully keep it from getting bigger.

5. Use baking soda and a sponge to clean the inside of your microwave.

6. Put a layer of baking soda underneath the kitty litter to reduce odors (also, try A&H cat litter - it is absolutely the best there is.)

7. Pour a cup of baking soda into the garbage disposal followed by a cup of white vinegar. Whoosh!

8. Use baking soda to scrub out the kitchen sink.

9. Flush a cup of baking soda down the toilet once a month to maintain a healthy septic system.

10. You can use baking soda and a disinfectant in a swimming pool instead of chlorine.

Two bonuses:

1. Use lemon slices to remove mineral build-up from faucets and glass shower doors.

2. Salt on a red wine spill will remove it entirely (trust me on this one.)

OK, now don't say I never did anything for you.

And gimme a tip if you have it, we might as well go whole homemaker.

++++

*Just in from Giddy: Baking soda approved as toothpaste by parental dentist! Enamel fine! Gums healthy! Good to know.

Comments

[Lisa]

Equal amounts of powered Clorox 2, white* Ivory dishwashing liquid, and water will get out ANY stain you can think of off of clothing. Just make up a paste and dab it on there. It doesn't even matter if the paste dries before you wash it.

*It has to be WHITE Ivory dishwashing liquid. And not the "Ultra" kind, just plain 'ol white Ivory.

[Mollie]

My asparagus still trembles when you bellow, baby.

[Libby]

Thanks for the tips Julia they are great! Love the wine removal one.

I don't know if you already know about these but the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser pads are the best invention ever. Sofia took off with a crayon one day and did beautiful art on walls, doors, window seats and everything in between, and I tried to remove it with all kids of things and nothing worked. Then one day my wise SIL recomemended these and they are phenomenal. They also work great on scuff marks.

So get thee to Target now!

Libby

PS: I also LOVE Target, I practically live there since there is one down the street from my office. And it also has a Starbucks in it. Starbucks + Target? Marvelous!

[Emily]

Tips by Julia...you know I think we've got something here. My favorite thing to do with baking soda is clean the silver with it. I have a love of shiny things so there is lots of silver plate around here.

I too used to be that rare breed of housewife with no children. I quit because I thought the kids would surely be on the way soon. Oh yeah, right, NOT. So, $25,000 later, no answers as to why except my FSH is high and oh yes, at 39 whatwereyouthinking?, I went back to work. And I fantasize about the day I get to quit again because being home with no kids was infinitely better than this -- even though they are very good to me and pay me very well.

When I was home my house was clean and dinner consisted of something more than tacos (the only reason I don't call it junk food is because I actually make the meat myself and never use a flavor packet)...um, yeah righ, not junk food. So, it's back to dust bunnies courtesy of my furry dog -- hey, who am I kidding -- I've got a whole colony in my house and requests for dinner from the burrito place down the street.

[Jamie]

My tip contribution:

Wash hair in Lavendar shampoo to guard against lice.

Thanks for your tips!
Jamie

[Summer]

I'm gonna have to try tip #1. With cloth diapers, you're supposed to use the fragrance free detergent and only 1/3 a cup of that, and recently the loads of Dorian's pants have been smelling not so fresh. Urineriffic, actually. If this makes his pants fresh, I will bow before your feet, which are doubtlessly clad in icy white, springtime fresh socks.

Lord knows you don't want any housewifery tips from me, but tooth-whitening I know something about, being as I am a great lover of espresso and Shiraz. I've discovered you can get two bleachings out of a package of Crest whitestrips! The instructions say to put them on twice a day, for 1/2 hour, but instead did it once a day, leaving them on for a full hour while I read before bed. It worked, and I've still got another whitening series left in the box for when my intemperance dulls my teeth again.

[giddy]

FYI, my parents have been brushing their teeth with baking soda alone for YEARS on the advice of their dentist. They don't seem to have any enamel problems and it's supposed to be GREAT for your gums. I do like the feel of baking soda in my Arm and Hammer toothpaste, but I can't do the soda straight because I still want the minty taste....

In any event, I agree with you that baking soda IS the miracle household cleaning product. My pots and pans are all the better for it......

[Sara in MD]

If you ever find yourself with ink all over the inside of your dryer because someone (who shall remain nameless!) forgot to take a pen out of her nurse uniform ...
nail polish remover works wonders :)

[April]

If, while trying to get "in the mood" you happen to say throw a blanket into the massive number of candles behind the couch and manage to hypothetically get the fringe of the blanket simultaneously on fire and soaked with candle wax... and while in your screaming fit to douse the flames you manage to trail liquid wax all over your brand new couch, don't worry.

Allow the wax to dry completely. Then the next day, take a heavy duty plain white paper towel, and place it over the stain. Iron the paper towel with a low no steam setting using circular motions. Voila! Wax removed.

[Danae]

Crap, I got nothing. NOTHING!

Oh, wait!!...I use toothpaste and an old toothbrush to clean my engagement ring and damn! my diamond not only sparkles like the stars in the heavens, but smells minty fresh as well.

[jlp]

Hmph. Not only do I have nothing useful to add, I have to ask for more clarification -- I've tried the salt/red wine trick without success. Clearly I'm doing something wrong. Can you enlighten me?

P.S. Love your blog.

[Christine]

I have no tips. Oh, one, I guess. Don't let your husband go through the pile o'crap on your desk, because he'll recycle all the bills by accident and they won't get paid that month.

But, I did want to say that the pen in dryer tip from Sara will come in, um, handy, and AMEN! to the A&H litter.

[Judy]

dish soap + hydrogen peroxide + water = a wonderful red wine remover.

I found this out after hanging a dress (post iron / pre-interview) on our wine rack. One of the bottles had a slight leak and left a perfectly circular quarter sized red spot on the shoulder. Funny part was the new interview dress was cheaper then the bottle of wine. Final result - no job, stain came out, wine was not only still good but FABULOUS. Hey, 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

Oh, and I'm so happy to know I'm not the only 'Childless Housewife Americanus.' Not that being the only one would have sent me seaching for a job.

Cheers,
Judy

[Toni]

Wow...I'm in awe of your knowledge of getting stains out. I've been using that Resolve Magic stuff...it does really well with blueberries...watermelon...pasta sauce...everything I've thrown at it.

But how do you get oranges out of a white shirt? Anyone??

[Liz]

I can vouch for the 'salt on red wine stain' tip, which saved my life on an occasion of complete and utter social humiliation. There we were, staying the night with senior colleagues of Russell's in their newly renovated farm cottage on the Welsh border. The place was straight out of Vogue Living ("dead posh" as the Brits might say) and featured a brand new (as in, it arrived 24 hours ago) cream linen couch.

Bringing a 10 month old baby into this environment, I was terrified. As Evan had a propensity for spewing, I brought sheets and literally covered most of the lounge room (particularly the couch, which our hosts were keen to show off) until he went to bed. Got bub to bed upstairs without a fuss, packed away the sheets, and was feeling like a true Super Mum who was sure to charm the socks off my husband's child-free international colleagues with my parenting skills and witty conversation. Came downstairs for dinner, sat on the couch, accepted a large glass of red wine. Launched into charming anecdote, gestured expansively, wine glass slipped slightly, panicked...and (in one of those moments that really does seem to unfold in slow motion) watched the entire glass splatter from one end of Brand New Cream Linen Couch to the other. The stunned silence that followed seemed to last an eternity. [Eeek - I'm having hideous flashbacks now...]

Our hosts looked at me like I was a nutter as I collected my wits and shrieked "Salt! Give me SALT!!" and then smothered their couch from end to end. But it worked!!!

Fortunately our hosts had a great sense of humour (cringe)...although I was teased unmercifully until fleeing back to Australia.

[Dana]

after 12 years in big corporate world I was laid off - I took my big fat severance and spent 9 (how ironic eh) blissful months being a house wife and working on getting pregnant. it was so fabulous (minus the failure to get pg). dh and I actually had time to talk and do fun stuff instead of the constant run to work, housework, errands etc that runs our lives when we both work 60+ hours a week. really miss it.

[-erica]

AAhhh, for the days when I was not exactly a housewife with no children, but rather a contractor that worked at home, who could arrange her own schedule around loads of laundry and weekly horseback riding lessons INCLUDING a nice hour long soak in the hot tubby afterwards... I gave that up for having kids? Where did I leave my brain!!!

[Lori M.]

Also good for canker sores: Alum. I think you can get it in the spice aisle of the grocery store. Wet a cotton swab, get a little of the powder on it, apply directly to the sore. It stings going on, but it dries that puppy right up. Tastes yucky, too, so you know it must work!

[Anna]

For the cloth diaper mother: Bio-Kleen Bac-Out is awesome: add it to your wash and even spray a little on the diaper before you put in the pail, and the uriney smell is nada. It comes in 3 sizes and the gallon size is by far the most economical (but you might have to get your store to order it: we do.) We use it in every load.

A&H litter kicks ass.

I also heard, for cloth diaper stains, lemon juice and salt work well: mix lemon juice and salt into a paste, rub on (just washed and wet) stains, leave in the sun for a while, drying is okay. Throw in wash again, voila. Or so I've heard.

[Clare]

Here's one: Out of powdered sugar to make frosting? Just feeling too lazy to turn on and wash the mixer? Melt chocolate chips with a little milk in the microwave, stir in a little corn syrup to prevent granulation, and frost away, baby.

(I amazed my own mother with this trick the other day. Oh, the excitement of knowing something domestic that your mother does not.)

[Sonetka]

Another non-captive Housewife Americanus, No (Non-Miscarried) Kids :). Well, I do have a part-time job which I love, but I do all the housewifely stuff because (a) I have the time (b) I really enjoy cooking and ironing and the rest of it (cringes in outmoded shame).

It's the only good result of my infertility; the full-time job I had before was very high-stress and very, very stingy about the number of people they let go on vacation at the same time, so calling in and saying "I'd like to use half a vacation day this morning" was right out; you could use sick days ONLY. I had five sick days, and you were marked up every time you were late. Four lates in one month meant being fired. I started at 7 AM. After reading up on what IUI and IVF involved, A. and I realized that there was no chance I would last more than two months without using up my sick days/lates and being ungraciously canned. So, with the blessing of my spouse, I handed in my resignation due to Personal Matters. Looking back on it, no salary was worth the stress of working at that place. God only knows how they would have reacted when my first miscarriage came along (knowing them: "Well, we're sorry, but are you sure you can't work at least a half day today?")

Um...sorry about the digression. You brought back memories :). And while I don't have any particularly special cleaning tips, if you want to make a thread on "Elaborate dishes you can cook now that you have the time" I'll be happy to contribute :).

[KT]

Hey, I loved being a Childless Housewife Americanus. Of course, my "demotion" to said position was a result of my poor health. I have weak lungs and every sniffle or cold that went around my office developed into pnuemonia. My doctor suggested if it were at all possible, I should stop working. It's been tight, at times, but as I haven't spent a night in the hospital with a machine forcing air into my lungs in over 2 years now, I think it's been great. *And* as an added bonus, after three years of TTC, we got pregnant! So, now I'm a stay-at-home mom for my 1-year old yesterday daughter.

(By the way, one of those fancy women's magazines - the ones that have 15 diet tips *and* a recipe for chocolate fudge brownies on the cover - said that "housewife/stay-at-home mom" was the second most popular "dream job". The first most popular was actress.)

Here is, by the way, my household hint for making laundry-folding quick and make your t-shirts lay flat. Watch the clip about 6 times (start with the t-shirt FACCE UP, which isn't clear in the video) and then practice. Once you get the hang of it, it's a great, quickie way to fold your DH's collection of t-shirts with quippy sayings:

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/fold.php

[Brad]

Tip: don't ever tell your guests exactly how much heavy cream and sour cream goes into your fabulous key lime pie.

[Liz]

Adding to April's iron tip: Make sure the iron is on LOW and if it suddenly seems like lots and lots of wax is coming off check to make sure that your cheap apartment carpet is not melting from the heat.

[Kerry]

Delurking for the first time to add if I have food crusted on the inside of my microwave I boil some vinegar in there for about a minute (make sure there's enough that you don't boil it all off) then wipe with a warm cloth. All that gunk comes right off, and it gets rid of the stink too.

[brooke]

ok...so i love household tips of any sort and you had a great list. i have two great ones in return:
1. it you have hard water stains or detergent stains on your dishes soak them in white vinegar for 30 seconds or so and viola! you have perfectly sparkling dishes! (i had to use this one recently when we moved to a new house)
2. after cooking dinner if your pans have gritty stuff stuck on them, just cover the bottom of the pan with water and boil on the stove. the water loosens up an of the stuck on stuff and will wash right off. my dad has done this for years and its one of my favorite tips.

[CursingMama]

Two Quick Tips:

I like to run the "stale" ice from the ice maker down the disposal about once a month. It cleans that thing spotless and we get new fresh ice!

Peanut Butter will take off labels that seem utterly impossible to remove - it takes a little work, but something about that peanut oil melts the sticky!

[gg]

A tiny tip, but efficient and oddly satisfying: Save a pretty Kleenex box and use it to store your plastic grocery bags. If it's full, you know you don't need to keep any more bags for the moment.

I have to say, being a stay-at-home made me more depressed than I've ever been. I never felt so useless in my entire life, never felt like I had less to offer. I almost couldn't hold a conversation with adults anymore: I either had nothing to contribute, or worse, I got worked up about minutia. I either bored the bejesus out of everyone else or frightened them with the crazy look in my eye. Going back to work literally saved my life.

[juno]

Household tips -

Dried blood - we've all been there - even dried blood that's been through a warm wash cycle (oops) - pine sol and hydrogen peroxide.

Not at the same time, I don't think, but taken in turns. Amazing stuff.

Oh, and the baking soda - primo for tub scum, and it won't make you sick or turn your hands raw.

When my mom was moving out of her circa 1945 house she couldn't get the tub clean of old water stains and whatever else had settled into the etched old porcelain. She tried everything - bleach, scouring powders, even some kind of acid. I kept saying - you should use the baking soda. It works. And it isn't poison.

She kept saying - no, no, that will never work, this is a REAL stain.

Finally I go and get the box and hand it to her where she's kneeling by the tub - just try it, it won't kill you.

It worked. Not only did it work, but it took it up like a paper towel wiping up juice - in an easy swipe, barely any scrubbing required.

It was a great day in mother daughter relations - I thought she was going to just kill me dead.

It was great.

Oh, and if you drop a bottle of bright pink nail polish on a tile floor and it breaks and rebounds up against your mother's brand new guest room quilt - pure acetone, good ventilation, a lot of white rags, a paste of 20 Mule Team Borax, BLOT ONLY, DO NOT RUB EVER, about 2 hours and a final machine wash with borax in the cycle may just save your sorry butt.

I'm just saying.

[Judy]

KT! That is so cool! I am impressed beyond words! Holy Cow, you'd never believe how exicted I am. My husband is not really big on folding laundry, but I have trained him to lie the shirts flat in a pile to keep them from wrinkling. I can use that flip fold method without retraining him in any way! That is so. I feel like I've been enlightened by one of the laundry lady secrets!

[Andreah]

I got nothing. I usually just live with the stains.

But I do think you can use baking soda in some baking right?

[Annie]

Uh...je suis tres clumsy.

Does anyone know how to get inkstain out of a coat and a pair of pants?

I have got no tips for anybody; this is why my family is glad I'm engaged to someone cleaner than I.

Annie

[Kristine]

Oh this kicks the shit out of Heloise...who I don't want to read, but I'm somehow drawn to...

And Julia, even though I see that you are so over them and their lack of empathy, I think I shall not ever buy Green Giant vegetables. No. I shall not.

[Expat]

Actually, better than salt for red wine stains, is white wine.

It's the perfect solvent - acid, alcohol, no pigment.

(and of course, the perfect excuse to open another bottle)

My main cleaning product is vinegar (or methylated spirits if you can get it with teratogens) - it cleans AND disinfects. Perfect for the bathroom, and windows.

[Lori]

Great tips everyone! My baking soda contribution: keep a box within reach of the stove for grease fires. Do NOT use water on a grease fire.

And about the job thing. I sometimes feel like the only one who plods through her job in between miscarriages, dreaming of the day when I can quit to take care of a baby. I'm glad to hear I'm not alone. My husband says I can quit now but how can he say that when I earn 50% more than he does? How could I live with myself if I sat home with the cats while he worked? Besides, we wouldn't be able to pay the mortgage on what he makes (well, we could but then we couldn't eat). The worst part is that I'd probably be bored after two weeks. I want a baby to occupy all my time! And please, make me eat my words.

[Tonya]

Annie, my tried and true method for getting inkstains out of clothing is hairspray. I've used it on both ballpoint and well, whatever that other type of pen is called, and it works wonders.

I, too, am a devotee to banking soda. I clean all kitchen appliances with it- including the stove. Every once in a while I fill a plastic baggie with vinegar and rubberband it around my shower head, leaving overnight. In the morning, take off the baggie and scrub briefly with a toothbrush. (I then dump some baking soda and my leftover vinegar from my baggie down the tub drain.) I swear the water runs better out of the showerhead and then drains right on down the tub.

I, too, am a cloth diaperer and it never occurred to me to use baking soda in the loads. (no pun intended) I'm definitely trying that one out.

Thanks for the tips. Now if I will just start employing them more than twice a year Jarrod will be one happy camper.

[e]

Lemon wedges and salt? I only thought that these should be used in drinks......no wait, that is lime and salt and tequilla.....

[Crystal]

Folex, the (houswives) elixir of life. Even removes afterbirth stains, yellow from fabrics (boy, does it ever!). The best thing about folex, is if it doesn't get it up at first, wipe away what will come off, and re-spray. It gets more every time. Sun will give it a boost. The stuff is amazing. You would never know Michael was born in the car.

Magic Erasers: do magic on leather and faux leather shoes (and everything else. Mr. Clean is my hero).

Cloth diapers, wet pail with 1c vinegar per 10g water. No smell, either in the pail, or in the diapers. Dump pail, soak water and all in washer, use baking soda detergent. Sun dry for added freshness, antibacterial properties, and stain removal.

Old toothbrushes clean everything, shoes (with Folex on any kind of cloth), clothing stains, the hard water deposits behind the sink, any little place that's hard to get to or reach.

Per Grandma, I fill a coffee cup with water and baking soda, nuke for 5 minutes, let sit until very warm to the touch but touchable, and then wipe. Stubborn crud (yes, I wait until I *have* to clean the microwave), dip the paper towel into the baking soda water, and hold over the crud for a minute. It wipes right off. I think I'm going to have to try the vinegar though, because baking soda leaves a film, which you then have to wipe off with plain water.

My all time best cleaning hint: Marry a neat freak with domestic skills. Dh is cheif bottle washer... I'm terribly spoiled. Or possibly the worst housewife ever. I'm kind of the absent minded professor of the school of domestic arts. Smart enough to solve a few meaningless problems, but utterly and completely useless.

[Katie]

Add a little baking soda to the garbage/ recycling can to keep the smell down. Sprinkle some on the rug and let it sit for a few before vacuuming.

[Ellie]

I just learned this great baking soda trick for cleaning silver: line a pan with aluminum foil, shiny side up. Put your silver in it, sprinkle on a couple of tablespoons of baking soda, and cover with boiling water. Let it sit for 5-10 minutes, and all the tanish comes off. There's some chemical reaction that happens that draws the tarnish without affecting the silver at all. Magic!

[army wife]

For those cloth diapering out there, don't forget the beauty of Vinegar. Throw some in a downy ball and let it release in your rinse cycle. It also helps with odor and acts as a fabric softener to boot. It is even a stain reducer of sorts.

I am the worst housewife EVER, but I have come to believe in the power of Vinegar. That stuff is amazing. Pickling, cleaning, fabric softening!

Another trick I use is club soda to clean glass. Put a little in a squirt bottle. you have to wipe a *little* longer than with traditional cleaners, but it is cheaper and there are no chemicals.

Check out the book "Clean House, Clean Planet" http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=2s0Az3BAt9&isbn=0671535951&itm=1

This is a guide to non toxic cleaning and it has a lot of good tips.

[MelissaS]

I can't believe there's one left for me to add!

Baking soda and vinegar in a shot glass with your wedding/engagement rings. Excellent cleaning power.

Of course, make sure you get BOTH rings out of the mixture before you dump it down the sink and then turn on the garbage disposal.....Platinum is really pretty strong as it turns out!

[B]

No tips here - I have no pride in my housewifeship and decided to marry a jack-of-all-trades.

I just wanted to say that you did what I couldn't - the leave of absence and quitting thing. I've been at the same job throughout IF treatment (starting April 2000) and so I've been here through 2 m/c's (one which required emergency surgery and I was back at work the next day), 2 PG terminations (one at 22 weeks and I was back to work in less than a week for that one), 1 joyous birth (10 weeks maternity leave), and one failed FET (no break at all). I'm not bragging, I'm po'd at myself for being so g-d weak.

I should have left a long time ago. I should not have ended my maternity leave so soon, but the company was going through an acquisition and needed me. They have not appreciated one iota of my effort - especially the early return from ML.

Why do I stay? It's not the money (truly), it's fear that I'll be a failure at SAHM.

There are certain things that I know I'm not good at and that's housekeeping and being home alone with no adult conversation and substituting that with Ellen and Dr. Phil.

B

[Laura K.]

Wow, I feel like I've stepped right into Mary Helen's Household tips! It'll take me a while to read through all these...

And here I have the warehouse-sized bag o' arm&hammer sitting in my pantry. :)

[akeeyu]

Wow, is there anything baking soda can't do? Well, I haven't heard anyone say "I used to make a cocktail of Robitussin, pineapple chunks, and baking soda, and I was pregnant in no time flat!"

I like to use a paste of baking soda when scrubbing out the cat box. It deoderizes better than bleach, and I don't have to worry about toxic residue.

Lemons in the kitchen: Microwave a sliced lemon in a cup of water for about two minutes, let stand for fifteen minutes, open, wipe down microwave, and voila, it is clean and fresh smelling!
Put lemon rinds down your garbage disposal, grind for one or two pulses with hot water, and they will freshen up the disposal.

I hate soap scum and hard water deposits in the shower, but I have very poor bathroom ventilation, so I'm afraid to use harsh chemical cleaners. Solution? Anti-residue shampoo (I use neutrogena) on a plastic scrub sponge. I scrub it down with shampoo and hot water, it ends up flawlessly shiny and white, and I don't have to be exposed to grody bleach fumes.

[Katty]

Baking soda makes an excellent facial exfoliant. Really.
Make a paste with some water, rub it on and rinse it off. It's PH neutral, doesn't dry your skin and isn't too harsh.

[Laura]

Re: lemons to clean the shower glass -- does regular lemon juice do the same? (happen to have a bottle in the fridge)

Adding to the removal of candle wax tips -- I had luck with a brown paper grocery bag (I know -- who has those around anymore!) and the iron. That might protect the carpet a little bit better than a paper towel. I was soooooo glad it worked!

[Betsy]

I am waaaaay late to the party, but I've been devouring your journal like a madwoman (DH, who is adopted, interestingly enough, was just diagnosed with bt 1,14), and I had to add to the baking soca convo. Baking soda plus a little bit of water makes the greatest exfoliant ever. Ever. Just make a little paste, rub it on your face gently, and your soft as a baby's butt. Or something like that.

[sue]

my husband had a scab on his leg and scratched it during the night leaving blood stains on my sheets and comforter.the comforter is dry clean only.i noticed it after it had already dried.i tried using peroxide but it didn't work.any suggestions?thanks

[Loren]

Tobacco stains on walls and ceilings: Arm&Hammer Baking Soda Washing Powder, two buckets of warm water, and a sponge. Use one bucket for the soda, another to rinse and keep changing the rinse water. It's like magic, and there are no fumes as with 409 or other spray cleaners.

Baking soda by itself in water works on tobacco and other greasy films, too.

For plastic or styrofoam drop ceiling panels (as are in many bars and restaurants), fill a bathtub with warm water and mix in the BSWP. Rinse the panel with the cleaner, then with water, and allow to dry. You'll have to do all the panels once you do one, because the clean ones will be CLEAN.

That works on mini-blinds, too, but tends to age the strings.

Clean computer keyboards (which are generally nasty) with a cup of Listerine and a tablespoon A&H BSWP.

Instead of Listerine in the above cleaning solution, you can use any mouthwash or a ratio of 1:5 alcohol:water (for the usual 70% rubbing alcohol, that's a mix of about 3 parts water and 1 part 70% alcohol). Baking soda doesn't dissolve well in alcohol, I think, but at any rate the washing powder turns into gummy ick if the alcohol is too strong.