Also True

I feel I should point out to you guys that narrative convention dictates that the exciting parts are supposed to be saved until the end. I know, I know, you hate it and you have said so but... I'm just saying. I find your need for immediate gratification a little unseemly.

The ultrasound at the OB's office was "inconclusive" as the World's Oldest Ultrasound Machine (TM) was able to see "something" in the gestational sac and "probably" a heartbeat but nothing was measurable. One, by the way. Just the one. So I got shipped off to a radiologist whose sonographic equipment actually employs this new electronic technology everyone is talking about (Essay Question: Do you think the field of obstetrics will ever fully replace hamster power? Discuss) Do you want to know how happy I was with the inconclusivity and the added delay? DO YOU?

The radiologist's sleek and modern ultrasound machine found the "tiny" gestational sac and then was able to find the fetal pole (measuring two days behind dates, thank you very much, always a pleasure- I know that these things are +/- 5 days or whatever but is it too much to ask for me to have an embryo measuring big JUST ONCE?? And before you point to Patrick I should tell you that I spent the entire first trimester with him in a state of catatonic terror so I have no recollection of how he originally measured, thus the lack of possible reassurance) and a heartbeat. Blink blink blink. We could see it but she had the hardest time measuring it and once she finally did she noted it was "slow" (107 bpm.)

So if we take all of these quotes and line them up we have: "inconclusive" "something" "probably" "tiny" "slow." Is it any wonder that despite the ostensibly celebratory nature of the ultrasound findings I am still feeling shaky and uncertain? Steve and I left the radiologists' office and said nothing for a few moments. Then Steve said, "Is it me or was that EXACTLY how the last three pregnancies started?"

Ummm, pretty much.

So I am not reassured. However, I am not in shrieking misery either. I am merely tentative.

On an unrelated note, thank you so much for all the color suggestions. I am going to try to amass as many of your recommendations as I can find this afternoon. I'll let you know what we decide (if we decide- maybe leaving the taped drywall would look industrial and edgy?) 

------------------------------

Updated: I just got off the phone with my nurse at the Shade of Grove and I feel a gazillion times better. No, TWO gazillion. The nurse said that measuring two days off is absolutely fine and they see it all the time. Also, she said that the heartbeat was absolutely appropriate for the dates. She suggested that the local people are probably not used to seeing patients this early and that I should not to pay too much attention to them. Perfect. That was the word she used: she said things look "perfect". Whether this is true or not is beside the point- I FEEL better.

And she ordered another ultrasound for one week from today.

KAZAM!

Comments

[Anna H.]

Wish I could reassure you...

Thinking of you.

xxoo

[Anita]

(((Hugs)))

[Molly]

Ugh, how nerve-wracking. I'm thinking of you.

[Marivic]

If this stuff is +/- 5 days couldn't their itty bitty measurements be *off* and 107 bpm could actually BE the order of the day?

Isn't it terrific that your hubbie is SO in line with all-things-pregnancy that he grounds you to your shared experiences (good and bad)?

Aren't industrial and edgy "in"?

Am I out of quasi-helpful things to say? Ok, yah. Hang in there and post updates as soon as humanly possible, neglecting everything else to do so (can't Patrick take care of dinner for cryeye??) Unseemly minds want to know!

[Emily]

I'm thinking of you honey and hoping that you get conclusive (GOOD) answers soon.

xxoo,

[Jody]

Ugh. I can understand your anxiety. I'm sorry that you're living with tentative.

Wouldn't it be nice if, attached at the top of the little fetal pole, there could be a teeny-tiny sign that said, "don't worry, Mom, I'm here to stay?" Or, conversely, "sorry, Mom, this might be a short visit"?

Or would that all be just too brutal?

How long until you go back? And are they going to let you skip the ancient OB machine and start right up at high-tech-ville?

[deborah]

Seems the need for immediate gratification isn't limited to just your readers! :)

Slow and steady wins the race, I always say. Hang in there...you can do this.

[Christine]

Chocolate. Eat lots and lots.

[Laura K.]

Ugh. I hope you get better and more conclusive news soon, too.

[Sheridan]

That really sucks. You poor thing. I'm hoping you'll get more certain (and good) news soon.

Perhaps the paint exercise is a good distraction in the meantime?

[getupgrrl]

You're in my thoughts.

[elisabeth]

oh god lord. did you tell them that that information is not particular helpful??? when do you go back again?

and you can't pick colors yet, I haven't gotten around to giving you my sage advice. Which would be sage green. Actuallly I am fond of the Restoration Hardware sage. I also have a barn red bedroom that I like a lot. It is good in a small space, not sure how it'd look in a larger room. And ditto there you can get lots of creamy shades of yellow that are not the YELLOW of many of the dresses last night on the Oscars (what was up with THAT??) Or you could go really bold and paint a room orange, like my little Annie has chosen. It is rather like being on the inside of a Cheezy, but people do tend to remark on it often ;-)

[Marivic]

Hot dog - congrats!

And thanks for the update, damn that was quick! Hope Patrick's not really making dinner.

Cheers cheers cheers!

[Liz]

HORRAY!!! Perfect, perfect, perfect!

Liz

[JenniferD.]

Yay!!!! Now that is worth shouting about. ;0) PERFECT!

[Lisa M.]

Between original post and update I did some "googling" (107 just didn't seem low to me). I came back to post what I read and found that Shady Grove had already given you the good news. (Darn, I wanted to be the one.) Not that it matters much anymore but here is what I found:

"Normal heart rate at 6 weeks is around 90-110 beats per minute. At 5-8 weeks a bradycardia (less than 90 bpm) is associated with a high risk of miscarriage."

Things are looking good, or better yet, perfect.

Lisa

[Kinneret]

Thinking of you.

[Libby]

Most excellent update Jules. I'm thinking of you and hoping for the best.

[Ninotchka]

Stupid Bloglines! It didn't show your update , just the original post, so I was reading somewhat glum comments and then came the Hooray's! and Congrats! And I was all "What the fuck are they so happy about?" Then I saw a mention of update and well, here I am, doing a little happy dance for you. OK not really because I'm at work but inside I'm doing a happy dance for you.

"Perfect" sounds: PERFECT! Many congrats, my friend. I'm absolutely thrilled for you.

Hugs,
Me

[Jody]

So obsessive refreshing of already-read posts DOES pay off.

Perfect. She said Perfect.

That is so perfect.

One week until the next U/S. Also perfect.

YEEEEE.

[Lala]

I can't believe they couldn't tell the sex.
Ala peanut butter sandwiches! Poof!
Just thought I'd put that out there.

[m]

Thinking about you--glad they see a fetal pole, at least--that's something, maybe?

[m]

YAY--I refreshed, and there was the update! Yipee! Makes my day, too!

[halloweenlover]

Yipppeeee! Congrats! That is terrific news to get. These docs sound very nice, prehistoric ultrasound equipment aside.

Yay!

[Emily]

Hooray for Perfect and hooray for getting reassurance and good news so soon!

[MelissaS]

I've been wincing and reloading your site all day. I'm glad you've been reassured. I hope you get even more good news next week.

[Soper]

I appreciate you deviating from the narrative convention, since I would have had to employ the patented "Julia S. Reading Method" if you had not, which means I would have started at the bottom and then gone, "Huh, I wonder why she thought something bad had happened?" And then I would have wandered off to find some cheese. Because, you know, it's all about the cheese....

[Amber]

Perfect sounds good. Glad to hear it.

[Kat]

Hey Julia,
Ugh, I can totally relate to what you're going through now. Yes, with our BT it's impossible it seems to expect to get much good news... and we're conditioned for the bad. I remember what it was like being PG with my daughter, waiting, like you did with Patrick, in catatonic numbness, till 16 weeks to find out if she was an unbalanced carrier. The one good thing is that, once you know there's a heartbeat there, you won't have to worry about that. Right? I might be stretching here... just hoping I can give you something positive to think about. Good luck these next few days.

[Mollie]

Perfect is what I'll hang my hat on today.

Hard to believe the objective can be so subjective...

[A]

Everything sounds "PERFECT" to me! I won't bring out the party hats just yet, but I've got them on hold! Thinking of you!
A

[Summer]

I just came up from my own basement construction zone to find your updated update. Oh, good. I don't want you to spend any more time freaking than necessary.

But I'm left wondering about one important thing. Does today's ultrasound get Steve around that green-highlighted restriction, or are you making him wait until next week?

[oliviadrab]

The Nurse of Shady Grove is a doll. I am so glad she called you.

[Crystal]

dates, Dates, DATES! Come on, I'm hideously sleep deprived, and bad at math to boot... If the above assumed 6w is accurate, then, yes, perfect, perfect! Absolutely wonderful.

Dates, please, dates!

[lex]

Keeping my fingers, toes and ovaries crossed for you. Wonderful news!

[ValleyGal]

Wonderful news!

P.S. I am in love with Light Topaz by Duron. The lighter and darker shades on the card also complement it well in nearby rooms...

[Sheridan]

"Perfect" is just perfect. Hooray!!!!

[Cat]

KAZAM indeed!

[Day]

Excellent! If you are indeed a mere 6 weeks today, then you're in a very fabulous position. Congrats!

[jen/vintageuterus]

God, how nerve-wracking. JESUS!!
Hang in there.

[Chi Zit]

I have you in my best thoughts right now. A nice place to be - it's all doggies and sunshine and the speakers pump out Corelli at soothing, metered doses. I even have color/aroma therapy in there. I reserve the icky mental spots for my mother-in-law.

[Lisa S (& Riley, Bella, & Adelyn)]

I'm so glad for you. Hang in there!

[alice]

Perfect! Perfect is good, right? I've heard perfect is good. I'm keeping you in my thoughts, too.

[Cricket]

Here's to a perfectly quick week!

[Toni]

After my IVF and u/s, I was measuring 4 days behind. Not perfect. Heartbeat was visable but not measureable. Then it was measurable (week later), but still measuring behind. Then it was 2 days behind. Then 2 days ahead. Kid still can't figure out when it implanted.

It is common to have that variance...they can put those eggs in - but don't really tell them to implant - they have to do it on their own - on their own time :)

Perfect...I like that.

[Jill]

I breathed a sigh of relief at the update, Julia. I'm pulling for you and keeping you in my thoughts.

[Laura K.]

Just read your update - sounds VERY reassuring!!!!! :)

[Tine]

You don't know me and have no reason to believe me... But for what it's worth, I've got a good feeling about this pregnancy of yours. My "baby ESP" has never been wrong yet. (I'm a fellow IF surrounded by fertle myrtles, so I've had lots of practice.) Just for good measure, though, I'll second Christine's chocolate recommendation. Chocolate is the answer to every question!

[Danae]

Glad I tuned in after the update. Good stuff, Julia! Perfect, actually.

Now go buy that red paint.

[Tierney]

Hi. I really enjoy your space here. I was reading your last entry about the basement, and wanted to let you know there are actually a lot of flooring options out there for slab foundation. Click together cork floring is becoming very popular and looks like marble when laid down. It's extremely insulating and absorbs almst all reflective sound (it's great for home theatres). Not to mention, it's enviromentally sound, and KID SAFE as it doesn't release those nasty formaldehyde fumes like carpet does. It's also naturally bug-repellent (my favorite part).It's a healthy choice for families, especially those with members who suffer from allergies or asthma. Cork is not only naturally hypoallergenic, resists the growth of mold and mildew. It is also antistatic, so it won't attract and hold dust and pollen particles. Also essential to people with respiratory problems, cork is easy to maintain and does not shed gas or fiber of any kind.
Jeez- I feel like an infommercial. Full disclosure, I work for a flooring company, but I just wanted to let you know about an option that you just don't see a lot of yet. If you like, I can send you a ton of free samples, just email me! (it comes in a bunch of colors)