Back And Brief

I'm back! And I missed you all terribly.

Touching briefly upon the subject of the elusive Bad Blowjob, I told Steve that the consensus seems to be that such a thing does not exist. That it is, in fact, the Abominable Snowman of the bedroom.

To this he replied, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha," and not in a rollicking, jovial way either. It was more like: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Get the difference? Hear how hollow that second laugh was?

Anyway, Steve reminded me about... about this friend of mine. Apparently she tends to treat the delicate member much as one might a stamp. I mean, before stamps went all self-adhesive and lick-lick-dab-oh-for-fucks-sake-aren't-you-done-yet-let's-just-screw-until-you-pass-out postage became a thing of the past.

A. Hem.

Soooooo, we are back! Yes, indeedy. And I made a friend!

But you will have to wait until tomorrow for stories. SOMEBODY, no doubt all strung-out from years of inadequate oral gratification, scheduled us on a 6:30 am flight and I am in dire need of sleep and popcorn (the popcorn has nothing to do with the ungodly flight times, I would just like to eat some.)

Speaking of vittles, prize to anyone who can acurately complete the following sentence: While in North Carolina, I drank _____ and ate _____. TOGETHER.

Here's a hint, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Comments

[Anon]

It would be so very, very easy to take this in a blue direction.

Glad to see you look like you're in good spirits.

You go girl.

Signed,
First time at home Dad in Mpls. Day 1

[Brad]

moonshine and squirrel?

[Scully]

pinot noir; mint

(the two things I really hate).

Welcome back!!!!

[Kim]

beer, ice cream

[stacey]

beer and cheese? hmm...that's not so bad. Maybe its wine and pickles? That would be gross. Glad you're back :o)

[Abby]

Milk and pizza?

[Meg]

Ooo! Ooo! I know! I know! Coke and Peanuts!!

[shannon]

Moonshine and Mountain Oysters?

[Tar Heel]

Coming out of lurker mode to take this in a (light) blue direction...

If you were anywhere near the Southern Part of Heaven, it was likely blue soda out of a national championship commemorative can in order to wash down a healthy helping of ABC envy. Howya like that wine and cheese? ;-)

Go Heels! 2005 National Champions

On a more serious note, if you were in NC and didn't dine on Lexington-style barbecue, red slaw and a handful of hushpuppies, then it was a wasted trip. Yumm - truly the food of the gods.

[pinkie]

Tequilla and the worm?

[MelissaC]

Pepsi and peanuts!!
Or...my personal favorite as a child: grape Nehi and peanuts. I know, I know.
It grosses me out now, too.
:-)
What's a southern girl to do?

[karla]

Buttermilk and cornbread. It's a southern thing and even though I am from the south EWWWW!

[Danielle]

moonshine and pigs feet

Glad you enjoyed the trip can't wait to hear about your new "friend"

[-Blue]

Y-you went to North Carolina? How the heck did I miss that? You were right up the road from me! You could've had REAL Bar-B-Que (mustard based with white slaw, hash and rice)

And since it was NC you probably drank Mad Dog 20-20 and ate chit'lins.

I'm so glad you're back. I got some interesting responses on my blog re: your blow-job question.

-Blue

[Debe]

I just got back from NC and I ate shrimp & grits (damn it was good) but I don't remember drinking anything odd

[Ria]

LOL....hmmm, another lurker's gotta play this game!

Cheerwine and pork rinds?

[Bes]

RC Cola & moonpie

[Susan]

Sweet tea and hushpuppies?
Lemonade and pigs feet?

[Clare]

As a longtime lurker, I finally can't resist commenting:

Pork rinds and TAB?

[Kate]

I was going to guess ,moonshine and moon pies, but coke and peanuts is a better answer. My dad does that!

Kate
(Raised in Alabama)

[anonymousey]

milk and cornbread?

[Melanie]

Damn, what's with all the chit'lins and pigs feet? I was born and raised in North Carolina and I've never tasted either one.

I will however admit to injesting all of the following:
1) RC Cola and Moon Pies
2) Coke and Peanuts
3) Milk and cornbread

That's good eatin'.

[mary]

peanuts in pepsi? or is it dr.pepper? crap, i live in nc! transplanted here as a kid, but still. i should know this.

[liz]

Another vote for Coke and peanuts

[Anita]

YOu were in North Carolina? Where?!?!?

We're usually in Charlotte, but were in Los Angeles last weekend so we couldn't have helped you enjoy:

BBQ and hushpuppies
Hamburgers and Coleslaw
Peanuts in Coca Cola
Shrimp and grits <--although that is YUM!!
Cheese and Grits?
Sugar and Grits <--which is disgusting unless you're a Yankee, at which point it's a dead giveaway
Lima beans and anything...the only food I hate.

[Cecily]

I have no idea what you ate. But you inspired a hell of a post over at my place!

[Chookooloonks]

Ripple and beef jerky?

[Kate]

I say Dr. Pepper and peanuts. My mom loves that. You were in NC and didn't stop by and say hi???? Lordy, lordy...

We're just south of Raleigh, and we coulda shared a cool beverage.

[AndChar]

I was in North Carolina last weekend too, and I had pulled pork barbeque from a shack, accompanied by a diet coke served in a cracked plastic mug (this midwesterner could not stomach the sweet tea). I also had Clariritn, lots of Claritin, (washed down with some imported cherry beer from Wisconsin), to help me survive the intense pollen.

[AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch]

Cat food gravy from the actual cat food can AND Graham crackers.

[Tammy W. (precon. diary writer)]

De-lurking here to post what I always have when I'm back "home" again in Alabama:

Sweet tea and BBQ

[Ollie]

Andreah, I am dying over here. Cat food gravy and graham crackers. Finger lickin' good! *beavis laughter*

I will also guess milk and cornbread. Definitely a Carolina thing.

[Brooklyn Girl]

I'm going to go with Coke and peanuts because it was offered to me once when I was in North Carolina, and I think I actually said ewwwwww to the offeree. I'm classy that way.

[mary]

Either you people should visit or North Cackalackee needs an image makeover. Most of us don't eat chit'lins. It's usually old people who eat the pickled things-I never have. Very brave, Julia. My mom was horrified to find out that the school cafeteria served us fatback (fried pork fat used for seasoning) at lunch, but this was a very long time ago (I'm old) & they probably don't do it anymore. It's not ALL rednecks & shacks. Some, not all. Julia, I hope you got to walk on a beach while you were here.