Kids- You Can't Lock 'Em In Their Rooms. Can You?

We have a situation over here. The fact that you warned me this would happen does not make it any easier either. Several months ago Patrick transitioned effortlessly from his crib to a bed. Granted, he was almost three and a half so I wouldn't say it wasn't a bit overdue, but one night he slept in the crib and the next he was in the bed. No big deal. I put him in the crib for naps for another month or so but eventually we reached a two week period during which he would fall asleep in his crib but then wake up crying inconsolably twenty minutes later. I never did figure out what that was about but I decided we needed to stop it. So we took the crib away (it only occurred to me afterward that this was a symbolic moment fraught with poignancy. I went and stared mournfully at the closet where we put the crib parts but somehow it wasn't the same) and that was the end of all napping.

I have tried to put him down for a nap in his bed. Really I have. I have tried reading to him in his chair, reading to him in his bed, lying down with him, telling him firmly he must go to sleep now, putting the door knob thing back on so he has to stay in there... nothing works. When the door thing is on he plays for a while and then just comes to his door and politely yells, "I would like to come out now, please" over and over until I free him. When I put him in his bed he just keeps coming to find me and cheerfully announces he had a GREAT nap but he is up now. Not to call him a liar, but I seriously doubt how great of a nap he could have in the ninety seconds that elapses between my shutting the door to his room and his popping up behind me in the kitchen. Oh, and the time I tried to lie down with him Patrick showed up in Steve's office saying, "Mommy is asleep in my bed and she has Bear." He had even turned off the light and shut the door quietly when he left me there sleeping, which was nice of him.      

So, unless you can think of something, the nap is gone. And play-quietly-in-your-room-until-I-come-to-get-you time is a joke. He is like mercury, sliding all over the place in tiny beads until he re-forms elsewhere, generally about six inches away from me.

I am having to adjust to doing more things with a shadow (yesterday I took a shower while Patrick sat on the toilet lid swinging his legs and asking me how many water there is in a shower) but it is fine. By "fine" I mean that I must accept that which I cannot change although I used to get so much done in the afternoon. So much! If you have any ideas on how to get rid of him for an hour each day I would be all over it. Not to mention the fact that I do not think his body is quite ready to give up the nap yet. By five each afternoon he starts looking like a Tim Burton character, all purple-gray shadow and waxiness. And he is soooooo tired by bedtime. The other night we read a few books and then went to brush his teeth before reading one more story in bed. I put toothpaste on the brush and when I turned around he was gone. I found him in bed, tucked in with Bear, half-way through a book. When I walked in he skipped to the last page, read it, flung the book on the floor, rolled on his side and said, "Goodnight, mommy" with his back to me. He was asleep before I closed the door. Which is great and all, but it was, like, ONE MINUTE after seven. So he now wakes up at SIX. And this week he realized that he can just come downstairs when he wakes up instead of playing quietly in his room like a sucker.

In an effort to modify this behavior I put the digital clock from a guest room into his bedroom (he is still wildly erratic in telling analog time- sometimes he is right, sometimes it is nine hundred o'clock). I told him that morning starts at 7:30, so please to stay put until then. Unless it is an emergency. A REAL emergency. The first morning we tried it I heard his little voice through the baby monitor saying, "It's 6:17. It is not morning yet. It is not 7:30". And I burrowed into my pillow with a huge smile because I am obviously a genius. Half a second later the voice said, "I'd better go tell Mommy and Daddy" and half a second after that Patrick and I were nose to nose. "It is not 7:30 yet," he told me.   

I am tired. I am very tired. Insomniac parents need to have insomniac children.   

Comments

[Mollie]

Nico stopped napping a hundred years ago and now requires only ten hours of sleep a night, which means that if he goes to bed at 8:00, well, you guessed it.

We've tried to explain the whole "Mom and Dad need to sleep until it's light outside" thing to him, but what he does is march downstairs VERY NOISILY and starts using everything in the kitchen as a percussion instrument until we rise and join him.

I FUCKING HATE THIS PART.

Let's skip to the years where he's up until midnight, holed up in his room doing God knows what without interruption, and sleeps in until noon. Then we can be friends again.

Good luck from a fellow sufferer.

[Leah]

I'm sorry, I have no advice. But that may be the cutest thing I've ever heard. Oh, and your last post ended up making me eat lunch two hours early because it made me so hungry! Though I'm so excited to try the recipe, I think it's worth it.

[Brooklyn Girl]

He's not napping because he's too busy thinking up ways to be adorable. Okay, maybe not. But it seems that way. Best of luck.

[Moose]

He's probably too young for piano lessons, right? That's how my parents got rid of me. The lesson was only once a week, but there was a clever and highly suspicious daily practice time of one hour. They would have made it two if they could have kept me on the piano bench without a chain.

That's probably no help at all. So instead, I'll say: Great post! Thanks.

[Elin]

I'm (empathetically) laughing my ass off right now!

I remember my mother telling me how she used to tie my bedroom doorknob to the hall closet doorknob to keep me in my room at night (I was an insomniac as a child), and how I, furious at the indignity, would systematically remove every clothing item from my dresser drawers in protest. I also remember her chuckling eerily at the memory of finding me fast asleep on the pile of clothes on the floor, evidence of my tears still streaking my cheeks.

I'm quite certain this experience contributed to some of my more colorful "personality traits"!

I wish I could tell you there's some magic formula to keeping your baby in bed at naptime, but I never found it. I hear Benadryl helps, but have always been too chicken to try it.

My boys were told, "You don't have to sleep, but you have to stay in your room and play quietly for an hour, even if you can't sleep." That worked for the older, conformative one, but the younger, ADHD-inflicted insomniac (maybe there's something to the idea that ADHD is genetic) refused to help me out that way.

I finally resigned myself to the fact that "Mommy time" was after the boys went to bed at night, and that I wasn't going to get more than 6 hours of sleep a night until they hit puberty.

[Anne Glamore]

I was against using crazy methods to get kid #1 to nap, but when the twins came along I was DESPERATE for a solution. This requires a car and a copy of "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill". Drive around neighborhood with kid with car really hot. Play the slow songs on the cd with the bass turned up all the way. When kid falls asleep, either let him sleep in car (open doors!) or carry and plop in bed. May take a couple of days to work out kinks- had to remove one twin's shoes while carrying to bed or he'd wake right up, but overall, good method.

Only drawback- at 7, they can't ride in the car for longer than 10 minutes no matter the temperature or the music without falling asleep. Am wondering if they'll be able to stay awake long enough to take their driver's license exams.

[Nancy]

I got nothing, but I am feeling tired on your behalf. Solidarity in Sleepiness? Siesta Seekers of the World Unite?

Needless to say, I am already closely guarding my pre-children eight hours of snooze. DK is an insomniac and I rarely even notice. Yesterday he apologized for getting up so often during the night before when he changed the blankets (?) and fiddled with the shades (?) and even apparently flicked on his light (?). To which I responded with a blank stare.

Good luck with your T-1000.

[Just Linda]

If I ever have another one, I'm keeping her in the crib until she leaves for COLLEGE!

I love that mercury analogy. I might have to steal it but I'll totally give you credit "Yeah? You like that? I took it from this woman on the internet. Her name is Julia. Yeah."

I don't suppose you'd be interested in the hypnotic effect of the Cartoon Network, huh? Yeah, forget I suggested that... And I'll NEVER admit to any DVDs with the word "Einstein" in them so let's not go there. hahah

Maybe algebra would keep him busy for a while? I got nothing.

[Mayberry]

I'll be reading the comments avidly as I suffer mightily from the same affliction. "Quiet time"? Ha. "Help" Mommy while she does something productive? Ha. and ha again. Between the nap-striking 3-year-old and the 10-month old who has slept through the night fewer times than I have fingers on one hand, I've often wished for the superpower of imposed narcolepsy.

GL and much sympathy from Catherine in Neenah (now with one pinky toe in the blogosphere)

[Lisa P]

Can't say I have any wonderful advice on this one, but you sure do have my sympathy, Julia!

Callie, at four and a half, still needs a nap. At least a short one, at least some of the time. Mostly she just reads or draws but she will stay in her room for about an hour before annoucing, much like Patrick, that she "slept' well and is now awake.

Preston, at two and a half, doesn't argue the point in the least . . . yet. And he's the one that scares me. He's only been in a bed for a couple of weeks and already knows that he can get out of it on his own. Callie didn't do that until she was in her bed for almost a year!

As nice as it is for them to gain some independence, I always say they are easier when they are newborns!!

[Andrea]

I am in the same boat with a 3 1/2 yr old. here--everyone says to just substitute "quiet time" for the abandoned nap, but she won't do it. Last weekend I got so frustrated that I said Mommy was going on break and that I needed to be alone in my room for a while. It lasted about 4 minutes.

My last resort on days when she is clearly in need of rest is the extended car ride. The problem is that while it gets her a brief nap and shuts her up for a while, it doesn't get me any free time. She is also extremely resistant to going to bed lately, which just plain sucks.

By the way, we switched to a toddler bed around 2 1/2 and the kid napped well there until recently, so it wasn't just the switch to the bed that led to your problem.

[Julia]

I am heartily sorry to say that I think the early mornings thing is very typical. You just don't know how sorry.

No real ideas on the nap front, but! What if you just casually say to P one day, "Gee, we sure do miss you after you go to bed so early. If you took a nap in the afternoon, I bet you'd feel like staying up til 8 to play with Daddy." Or is that the dumbest idea in the world ... possibly getting him to force himself to stay up even while still skipping the nap?

I don't know. The sleep (lack of, struggle with, etc.) aspect of parenthood is the major reason I really don't think I can bring myself to have a second child. It's torture.

[cursingmama]

booze? No, I don't suppose that's a good parenting technique to use on children; you could obviously use it for yourself though. Anyway, we had problems with napping with both of the kids and after crying uncontrollably in the corner every day I decided I had to stop that and get my nap time back.
After exhausting many different approved techniques I ended up with the door knob thing to prevent them coming out, a few childrens cd's playing quietly in the background and a childrens themed alarm clock that would buzz when they could get up from bed. If they stayed in bed they were rewarded with a snack (I'm a bad mommy)if they got out or played instead of laying down (could never force sleep) there was no snack.
Whatever you decide to do - I wish you luck.

[Kelly]

This only speaks from my experience, but Patrick is at the age T was when T dropped the nap (one day he napped one day he didn't). He needed it in a way, the way you describe. At 5pm he was a nightmare and it was horrible.

But he wouldn't sleep. And that was the end of naps. After a few months his body seemed to full adjust and he was ok....but that was why I always thought 3 was the hardest year....the nap stopping.

[GiBee]

Sigh...

I HEART your blog.

I love reading about your adorable family.

Now, get busy coming up with a solution for napping before my little kiss of sunshine gets one minute older!

TEASING!

[Jennifer]

Consider filling a plastic bin with counting objects, magnets, big dice, whatever might intrigue Patrick and then allowing him to play with the "special toys in the blue box!" only during quiet time. Add or rotate new items to keep it interesting. I've found a lot of good stuff at teacher supply and hardware stores.
If that doesn't work, you might be able to find some reading time for yourself by using the creative bath technique: fill a shallow bath and add a normally "dry" toy such as Legos, Little People, checkers and small containers for sorting them, maybe a popsicle?, etc. while you sit nearby.

[patricia]

I haven't read the other responses, but for me, this is just the way it went. Only my son quit napping consistenly at about 20 months. I was bitter at first, but there are advantages. For a while I would make him sit quietly in his room, and that worked for a while. Then I realized I wasn't stuck at home in the afternoon. I would run errands instead, and SOMETIMES he would nap for twenty minutes or so in the car. Which would get us through to bedtime without the complete meltdown.

I think they do give up naps before they are ready, so they are zombies by bedtime. But after a few months of that they adjust.

transitions. They suck.

[rose]

The quiet time thing works fine, but if they don't do it willingly you have to approach it like sleep training (if you believe in sleep training, that is). If they yell, they yell, but it's usually for a day or two only.

"Patrick, it's time for quiet time. You need to stay in your room and play by yourself until XXX (time of your choosing), then you can come out. If you come out before then, I'll have to shut the door." Consider Christopher Green's "rope trick" where you tie the outside door handle of his door to another door, with the rope long enough that the door can be opened a few inches, but not so wide they can get their head through.

If your eventual goal is to have QT from 1-2pm, then start it at 1:45 for the first week so that 2:00 is always the official coming-out time. Then push back the start time to 1:00, and bob's-yer-uncle, an hour of QT.

My 2 year-old is a true limpet, but stays in her bed for 1-2 hours each pm, regardless of whether she sleeps.

[Victoria]

For napping, maybe a timer called a Time Timer. Instead of counting down minutes and seconds (because he would probably focus on the numbers counting down, rather than resting and hopefully sleeping) it uses a large red circle that gets progressively smaller, like a pie being cut into smaller wedges, until the time is up. You set it for up to 1 hour at a time.

www.timetimer.com

Maybe tell him he needs to nap or rest until the Timer tells him he can leave his room. If that fails, break out a DVD or a CD?

[Erin]

Am laughing so much, since P is desperately trying to convince us that he no longer needs naps at home (at barely over 2 years old). A conversation from the other day: "P, it's naptime." "No nap! No seepy. Monkey seepy. Monkey nap. Night night, monkey. I go play with blocks."

Of course by dinner time, he could no longer walk in a straight line or go more than 10 minutes without collapsing in a heap of tears (for various reasons).

We are seriously considering switching him to a toddler bed because of his desperate desire to escape his crib at all times, but I'm terrified. I know that once we do, all naptime will be over. And "stay quietly in a room" ended when he learned to open doors.

My MIL has told me stories of sitting by my husband's door when he was about 2, holding it closed while he screamed and threw himself against it to try to avoid napping. And of how one day, she opened it during a suspiciously quiet time to find him with his head on the bed, standing up, sound asleep.

You made me laugh out loud, so thanks for that!

[nate]

I have no advice for naps. None. Clara hasn't slept in her crib since she was a yr old (and not that we didn't try, but that's another story), and hasn't *regularly* napped since she was about 18 months old. Husband, who's the sahp, would take her on lonnnggg walks around the neighborhood in 90 deg heat, to have her fall asleep after 90 min of walking and wake up w/in 10 minutes of stopping. She still nurses, and that worked at naps on wkds until last fall (although that had the unfortunate effect of no "us" time at night, since she'd be up until 10 or 11 when she napped). But. No more. Ever. And have I mentioned that she's not 3 yet? So by my count you got 2 years of steady naps & productive afternoon time (not to mention the chance to sit down & drink a cup of tea by yourself) that we didn't get.

If anyone has the "quiet time" magic bullet, I'll be eager to see it.

I *do* like "morning begins at 7:30!" To those who are considering "Mom and Dad need to sleep until it's light outside," beware. It sounds like a great idea right now, in the dead of winter, but unless you live near the equator you'll be rueing those words by May.

[nate]

Oh, and what to do with him for that hour...many, many people would find fault with me for this. In fact, 2 years ago *I* would've judged a parent like me horribly. But times change, people change, etc...

Does Patrick watch TV? I'm not sure you've ever said. Anyway:

I try very hard to keep her away from the TV until mid-afternoon. And finally, when I need a chance to think (or stop thinking) and she really needs a chance just to sit still for a bit, I put on an Arthur video (used to be Maisy, but she seems to have gotten past her love of Maisy, sigh), and while she watches Arthur I sit in the dining room, read the New Yorker or other grown-up literary material, and drink my tea. Two Arthur videos = 1 hour = 1 parent able to face the cooperative dinner-making which will soon follow.

Substitute with your PBS "educational" item of choice.

[Kelli]

We are having the EXACT same problem. Only my son just turned two. He hasn't figured out how to open his door yet (old house, tricky handle) but that's just a matter of time.

[Diana]

I know it would semi-cruel to force him to stay awake, but perhaps there could be a special event that would keep him up later (game night?). Then, I would still wake him up at 7:30...hopefully he would be awake enough to get up, but still somewhat sleepy. Around nap time I would cross my fingers and pray that he was sleepy. Lol. My four (and 1/2) year old sometimes takes naps now that she gets up for school in the mornings and doesn't go to sleep right after dinner.

[WG]

I have a non-verbal 2 year old son with whom I cannot reason. I also have 2 older girls who are past the nap stage. My rule, at nap and at bedtime, is, You MUST be in your room. I don't care where in your room you are or what you do, but if you come out of the room, you will be gently but firmly walked BACK to the room and forced to stay there for at least one hour. I am not so gentle by the 4th walkback. It an take up to 3 weeks of following this program RELIGIOUSLY, but it does work. It has the obvious downside of me having to get off the couch for the walkback, but the 3 weeks are worth it. Really.

[Belinda]

OK, just a "grass is greener" moment to say that I would be THRILLED for Bella to get up at 6, if it meant she were going to bed at SEVEN. In the EVENING. Instead of 1 or 2. In the MORNING. The earliest she will go to sleep is 10-10:30pm, but even that means she'll be up at 1 or 2, ready to party.

I haven't tried the doorknob thingies yet. Off to get some NOW.

You expressed all this so beautifully, I have to add. Love the Tim Burton character metaphor, because that is IT.

[Shannon]

My Harrison gave up naps after we moved him to his big boy bed in December. The book No Cry TODDLER/PRESCHOOLER (not baby) Sleep Solutions gave me some tips. We too were having trouble with the getting up and wondering. The tip that finally helped us was laying down with him until he went to sleep. As much as I didn't want to do this (it is eating up my free time!), I only have to lay (lie?) with him for 15 minutes vs. an hour of leading him back to bed 500 times and making me VERY cranky! The book may help you too.

Good luck!

[victoria]

My friend's nanny had a great idea. I don't know if it'll work with Patrick, but here goes:

The kid would not stay in his bed at night. He was always creeping into his parents' bed. So the nanny got a poster of Spongebob Squarepants and taped it to the ceiling over his bed. She said to him, "You wouldn't want Spongebob to be lonely, would you?" Then he was really motivated to sleep in his own bed, so he could keep Spongebob company at night, and there was never another dispute on the topic.

[meg]

I let W have "quiet time" in my room, on my bed. This is a big deal because he is not otherwise in there much...he doesn't sleep or play in there. He can watch a video, read books, or do any quiet activity on the bed. He has fallen asleep before, which was the original purpose, but doesn't usually. He is four. This replaced his afternoon nap around the same time his little brother was born and I could no longer "enforce" the nap. (He had just turned three). He must stay in there from 2:00 until "three-three-oh".
Now, here is the kicker. If he doesn't stay in there, makes a lot of noise, (his brother naps at the same time) etc., then instead of quiet time he has a nap in his room. Quiet time is for bigger boys who can play quietly by themselves and if they can't then it is taken away and they take naps in thier own rooms like thier little brother.
When he stopped napping, he was more tired in the evenings before bed, but he adjusted. (Of course, as I said there was a new baby in the house so no one was sleeping well at the time. Poor guy...I guess he had a lot to get used to all at once!)
As for mornings, he usually gets up around 7:00. My husband gets up at 6:30 to shower and I get up at 7 for my turn, so this isn't a big deal. If he gets up earlier than that we simply tell hime "It's still night time...go back to sleep." I'm not sure what we would do if he didn't buy it.

[e]

I should set up an autoresponse to your posts since I seem to say the same thing to each one. Drink.

I learned this trick as a nanny; when Child #1 stopped napping and we were in dire for down time we (his mother and I) would plug him in for an hour of Sesame Street and pour ourselves a Pimm's Cup to get us through to the dinner hour. Then wine with dinner, and another to get through bathtime and stories and everyone was happy (and often a bit tipsy)

[Flicka]

Sudafed? I don't know...wish I did. All I remember is my mother saying to me very seriously that if I wanted a nice mommy for the rest of the day then I needed to go back to bed and shut my eyes for the next hour and a half.

I hope things get better soon. maybe you can set Patrick to figuring out the Riemann hypothesis during nap time. That ought to keep him occupied.

[Trisha]

Eventually he'll be old enough that you can roll out of bed long enough to put breakfast on the coffee table and a video in the VCR and dish out instructions that he can come wake up Mommy at 8:00. And at some point he'll learn how to get on your computer and play computer games if he gets tired of the video. The key is staying sane until then. Good luck!

[Miz S]

I'm trying to be sympathetic here, really I am. I can't help but think back to many, many moons ago when my own sweet babies were Patrick's age (they are in college now. Yes, I am OLD AS HELL). They never took any goddamned naps the way all the books said they should. Oh sure, they would close their eyes for 20 minutes here or there. Never at the same time. (They are 15 months apart in age so it would have been very convenient if they could have taken a fucking nap now and then.) No, I'm not bitter. Why do you ask?

[OnTheFence]

I agree with one of the other posters that you have to approach quiet time similarly to sleep training.
My two boys have quiet time for two hours every afternoon after they get home from preschool. Both gave up naps (they are 5 and the other one will be 4 in two weeks) and I thought I was going to be insane.
It took about a week to ten days (cant recall) to get them both in a good pattern and now it is like second nature.
I have not done sleep training with my babies but I have done it with my two boys when they were preschoolers. They both thrive on routine. Maybe this is something you can try? I read evil Ferber for ideas.

[Denise]

My hairdresser told me this one. I have no idea if it works or if it is good parenting advice: she bribed her son to sleep in. If he slept until the alarm went off and didn't get out of bed, he got a present in the morning; if he didn't, no present.

It sounds expensive and impractical to me, but she swears it works. I don't know. M&Ms for going to the potty, presents for sleeping in: I wish I were a little kid.

[Kristen]

at our house we used to get library books Monday morning, and they lasted us our 'quiet times' for the week. (though I must say that I've heard a rumor that I used to get home from grade school and take a nap so it could be that napping (and/or quiet time) was just a habit.

As for the mornings, kid friendly cereal containers (plastic containers with easy to use lids) and a half a cup (or so) of milk in a plastic pitcher on a low shelf in the refridgerator used to keep us busy when we got up and woke our parents up. They invested in plastic bowls and used to leave a spoon on the counter and afterwards it was into the living room for a showing of whatever was on public tv (also left all "set up" the night before). (a dry run of how to use all of the breakfast components isn't a bad idea; eventually the notion of self sufficienty wins over.)

[Laurie]

I work with clients/kids in the MR/DD field. Several of the kids I work with have ADHD and this is a tried and true recipe for getting them to exert energy then have a period of rest for the sanity of their loved ones.
1. A good hour of large muscle activity in the morning, preferably outside. Something that makes them engage all muscles, break a sweat but have fun at the same time.
2. A good hour of a cognitive stimulation. Preferably something they haven't tried or makes them exert a little bit of brainpower Try thermodynamics with Patrick =).
3. Healthy lunch followed by a wind down time of books, soft music and cuddling.
4. Consistency on your part about nap/quiet time lasting a full hour. Every time he comes out of his room start the hour over.

I guarantee that he'll fall asleep within the last 15 minutes of the hour-long period. I also agree with keeping him up later at night and think that will help also with the naptime. My 3 1/2-year-old started not wanting to nap when the weather changed and we weren't able to go outside as much. I converted our playroom into a large muscle area with cars, bikes, bouncy balls, etc.. and we spend over an hour up there each morning.

PS Since you ARE Julia and all, you probably already have tried this. If so, and I look like a schmuck for suggesting it, please don't hold it against me.

Christian stopped napping at 2 1/2. He's now 3 1/2. I won't detail my failed attempts to make him sleep, since, well, they failed. He now goes to preschool 2 days a week and more often than not he sleeps there (the teachers tell me that many kids take the 'well, everyone else is sleeping so I may as well too' approach at pre-school, even if they never daytime sleep at home). The irony is that I would prefer it if he didn't sleep at preschool because then he moves from a 7/7:30pm night sleep time to an 8:30pm+ night sleep time. I'd rather have the time at night with my husband.

I'll also be brave enough to advocate the use of TV/DVDs for downtime. It's not as if Patrick isn't stimulated for the overwhelming majority of his awake time. Don't believe the hype about it being evil (in limited doses and provided that it's age-appropriate).

Kylie

[Megan]

I have two FABULOUS solutions for how to get an hour to yourself! They are:

1. Blue's Clues
2. Dora the Explorer

Patrick can learn to count in Spanish with Dora! My Sam has, so it must be educational! Whatever! I have peace! Also quiet! For an hour, sometimes two, every afternoon! Yay!

[gretchen]

I feel your pain - I'm in the same situation with my 3.5 year old son. No suggestions, just commiseration. I'll be rading the comments with great interest. Good luck Julia!

[eliz]

Don't usually post, but read all the time. We are having the exact same situation with my three year old, and what's working for us at the moment is letting him lie on the couch in the living room listening to audio books. He's never liked them before, but I downloaded the Paddington Bear stories from Itunes (three hours worth!) and he loves them. I feel better about this than T.V., and he listens and sort of spaces out (and sometimes poops, but that's a different issue) for at least an hour sometimes more. And I get a break and he seems more rested. I'm also putting him to bed at 6:30 since he's waking at 6:30 and needs the sleep. The Paddington stories are great and don't drive me crazy and he likes them and is more rested, so it's feeling like a big improvement all of a sudden. Good luck.

[Felicity]

Hi. :) My Twins started climbing out of their cots when they were 18 months old. They would fall, and hurt themselves, so we took the cots out and they slept on their matresses on the floor.. That was the end of daytime naps, it was devestating for me!

There was absolutely nothing I could do to get them to have quiet time, or allow me some private time. So I did what you are doing, accepted that this was the 'next stage' and rolled with it. I made lunch time a quiet time.

I slowely moved their bedtime back, over a month or so, until they were going to bed at 8 or 8:30 pm, then getting up at 7:30 to 8 am. It was alot better for me, because Im also a night owl!

Now they are almost 5, they are often still awake chatting at 10 pm, and they are out of bed by 8 am. They are never tired, and I think they are also just like me.. night owls who really dont need as much sleep as others do!

As soon as I could I taught them to turn on the TV and computers by themselves! Sometimes they are awake at 7am, and thats just WAY too early, so they come out and play our computers, or watch ABC kids.

Everything will change next year when they go to school, but for now Ill indulge them and myself as much as I can. :)

Good luck getting more sleep!

[Adrienne]

Nothing insightful to say (Anon: "So why comment?" Me: "Oh, be quiet.") that no one else has said, but I just wanted to let you know that it really makes my day when I pull up your page and there's a new entry.

(Anon: "You're such a suck up. Remember one of the categories in the whole debacle?" Me: "Oh, be quiet. NOW.")

[Rhonda]

Is there a CD that he likes? For Quiet Time, you could have him listen to it on headphones sitting/laying on the couch. Headphones will require sitting relatively still for a while, and perhaps it will put him to sleep.

[christie]

So, uh, how many water is there in a shower??? We still live and die by naps, but morning around here is 5:30, 6:00 if I'm lucky...no matter how early or late he goes to bed. AND IT SUCKS!!!!! If you come up with a brilliant plan I'll pay big $$$$$ if it'll keep heathen boy in bed longer.

Good luck!

[Bethany]

My 3 year old dropped her nap last summer, when her sister was only 4 months old. They had been napping simutaneously, and the hour in the afternoon to myself was exactly what I needed to recharge.

I've done the "quiet time" thing. I put her in her bed with some books, and she would read them, then play in her room until I came and got her. (We put a gate on her door at night, because we have big, old house with a big, steep staircase, so she never felt "locked in" she was just used to it.) That lasted a month, then she started being scared upstairs by herself. Now, I am truly ashamed to admit that I put on Noggin, or a movie, tuck her into the rocking chair, and that's that. I don't know what else to do, but if she doesn't have quiet time, and I don't have quiet time, we're both a mess by the end of the day! And SOMETIMES..she falls asleep.

Good luck. Her sister wakes up between 5:30 and 6 AM every morning, and it is really just hard to get up that early!

[Sarah]

My children (ages 2 and 4) don't nap consistently. I am impressed he napped after 3 years old. I will add that benedryl, which was suggsted by my PEDIATRICIAN!?, does not put either of my kids to sleep. It makes them jumpy and unable to sleep at nighttime.

Does he fall asleep in the car? Mine do, inconsistently. And it doesn't help if you want to do anything other than waste gas while you idle the car. But you can read printed material.

[Leggy]

Been there. Not much I can do but sympathize- one time I sent The Cutie Pie downstairs while I was in a comatose sleep-deprived fog. He went downstairs and turned on the TV- came back a few minutes later telling me some kids died in a fire (he had turned on the local news). Boy, did that wake me up.

[g]

I'm not a parent, but my dad used a trick on me when I was a kid that seemed to work. He'd lay down with me and tell me to keep my eyes shut for 10 minutes. If I opened them, the time started over. If I was still awake at the end of the 10 minutes, I could get up. I was NEVER awake. :)

[PJ]

Sad news. I have very bright 9 year old. But he is still murky on what constitutes an "emergency" for early morning waking of Mommy. Not 2 months ago it was, "Mommy, can you get these Legos apart for me?" And I can see how in his planet, making progress on his Lego vehicle would be the very definition of an "emergency." And my daughter? She's 7. So does that explain why it would seem appropriate to wake me so I can tie on her dress-up outfit at 6:30 a.m. I mean, THAT is surely an "emergency". Without my assistance her princess game would come to a screeching halt. So. Yeah. Good luck with that.