Because It Is Neurotic

I called my OB this morning and scheduled another ultrasound. What can I say? I would prefer to get bad news in a familiar environment rather than feel like a chump when the maternal-fetal specialist about to perform CVS gently explains that they would expect to see a heartbeat when the fetus is ten weeks... . I don't know why I get embarrassed by fetal demise but I do. Like I was foolish not to have known it all along or something. RIGHT. I am WEIRD. I KNOW.

A nurse actually picked up the nurse line when I called (which was a pleasant surprise) and she knew who I was and all about me before I finished spelling my last name (which was even pleasanter). She instantly agreed to another ultrasound, scheduling me for this afternoon. Then she laughed when I made an intensely macabre joke. Win win win win and win. I love this place. Hands down this practice beats the one where the OB told me he saw no reason for a followup ultrasound before CVS because even if I was miscarrying "it is not like they can give me a pill to fix it" and it smashes the brains out of  the place where my OB was convinced I wanted to have a preemptive abortion (embryonic heart rate was 70. I was asking about a D&C predicated upon what I thought, correctly, was inevitable demise. she thought I was, um, crazy, I guess. or a real downer. or vicious. or something) and refused to get on the phone with me. Ever again. Ass. 

Anyway, I cannot reach Steve and Julie is missing but I can at least tell you. Ultrasound! In two hours! Zowie!

As always, I am nervous as hell.

Comments

[Barbara]

I'm nervous for you, but hopeful too. Please update soon after you get home. We will all be thinking about you and praying that the embryo has a good strong heatbeat and appropriate growth! Hugs to you, Julia!

[Isabel]

Good Luck ok? All I can say!

[steph]

I'm not sure if it's afternoon where you are yet, so I'll hold off on the mad refreshing for an hour or two. Good luck!

[Jessie]

Good luck! I'm sure it will go great. Can't wait for an (amazing, wonderful, and great) update.

[terri c]

Everything crossed for you, BIG TIME. Thank heavens for a decent OB office.

[shannon]

Awaiting news on pins and needles as usual. Good luck.

[Lisa P]

Yea for you! A great OB office and another ultrasound. Here's hoping all is still well . . . can't wait to hear all about it!

[Diane]

Good Luck!

[Angie]

I'll be thinking about you and wishing you well!

[LBurke]

That’s very interesting that you describe feeling embarrassed like that. I’ve lost one pregnancy at 16 weeks to “fetal demise”…. and I felt the same way. You fool – who do you think you are, strutting around in maternity clothes all these weeks - Ha! I can only explain how I felt as being embarrassed – like, the joke’s on me! How could I not have known. I know no one was thinking that way, but it was one of many strange emotional areas I found myself in after the lost pregnancy.

[Hay Lady]

Supportive OB and a cooperative, pleasant staff? Is it possible that this exists??

It sounds perfect.

I'll be praying that everything continues to go perfectly this afternoon.

Good luck!!

[Amber]

Tomkat should soon be done with their u/s equipment, perhaps you could borrow it from them. I suspect they won't need it until July, when she will undoubtedly be pregnant again.

Praying for some more good news today.

[Erin]

Oh man Julia!! I'm so glad you called and got a U/S for this afternoon! That is great and I have a good feeling about it. I live in Canada so getting a U/S is like pulling teeth with pair of wet noodles for pliers.

You better post when you get back and let us know how it went. Though I feel good about this one.

I'm praying for you.

[Erin]

Oh man Julia!! I'm so glad you called and got a U/S for this afternoon! That is great and I have a good feeling about it. I live in Canada so getting a U/S is like pulling teeth with pair of wet noodles for pliers.

You better post when you get back and let us know how it went. Though I feel good about this one.

I'm praying for you.

[lindsay]

good luck!

[Sarah]

Ultrasound! Woo! I'll cross my fingers for you. I'm in the boat with all the folks who will be obsessively refreshing to see what happens!

[Ariella]

Good luck! I am thinking positive thoughts for you. :)

[Lisa V]

I will spend the next three hours doing nothing but thinking good thoughts and meditating your way. Because they might make you wait, which would of course mean you need a little extra time. Will be constantly hitting refresh, you may need a restraining order.

[Emily]

SO excited for you! And nervous! But mainly excited!

Emily!

[bad penguin]

Good luck. And I'm so glad you have a nice and understanding doctor and doctor's staff.

[victoria]

Thank god! I didn't think I could take another day without an ultrasound.

[Jenn]

Gosh, I will just have to not concentrate on working for the next few hours so that I can pour all my energy into sending you good luck wishes. It's the least I can do.

Must...not...hit...refresh....

[chi_zit]

I hate waiting.
But, for this... I'll wait. And what a bunch of whores at your OB's practice! I hate them all for being so nice and cooperative and agreeable. But, you're good people, so carry on.

[Jen]

I'll be hoping, praying, and crossing all crossables for some good reassurance for you this afternoon.

[Tertia]

I know exactly what you mean. I too was embarrassed. Embarrassed by my infertility. I even apologized to my infertility doctor for being so infertile.

I just hate to inconvenience people.

Got my bits crossed for you.

xx

[nate]

Lisa V wrote: I will spend the next three hours doing nothing but thinking good thoughts and meditating your way.

And what will I be doing for the next 3 hours? Refreshing neurotically.

Okay, I'll think many many good thoughts too. You have all the internets rooting for you! That has to be worth something!

I love it when health care professionals share my sense of humor...

[Heather]

Good thoughts your way and will check back later because I know you won't keep us in suspense....

[wheelomatic]

Cool OB office! Yay! We pink puffy heart them.

Say hi to Zippy for us. Feel that breeze? That is all the Internets out here waving Hello!

NBHHY

[Marsha]

How the hell am I going to spend my time for the next, say, four hours (allowing you time for driving back, taking off your coat, doing a spot of interaction with Patrick and, I don't know, something else)?

I left that cross stitch around here somewhere...

[JenniferD]

Oh goodie, another U/S! It's going to be good news, I just KNOW it. ;0)

[AmyinMotown]

Lucky me that I have been fanatically checking in on you for the last week and you posted during the hour and 45 minutes my poor sick daughter was up.

I am hoping for another wave of good in the blogosphere. There was one awhile back, remember? There is NBHHY news on several sites and I fully expect yours to continue to be one. So go little embryo go!!

[Arwen]

Nervously awaiting the news.

[sheilah]

I hope it goes well.

Heartbeat...heartbeat...heartbeat...

[anne nahm]

Say hi to the jellybean for us!

[Lisame]

Feeeeel the healthy aliveness of my positive energy coming your way! WHOOOSHHH!

[Julia]

Dammit, Julia. You need to include a time stamp in your post footers so I can better time my "refresh" clicks.

Thank God you found a clinic populated with real live human beings.

[another anna]

Big hug, warm thoughts, fervent prayers. Good luck!

[Anita]

Yikes!

And good luck!

And I would so do the same thing!!!

[abogada]

Hoping and praying for you!

[Jessica]

Good luck, and good thoughts for the US!

[Christine]

Damn, now I'm pissed I have class this afternoon.

While snoozing through lecture, I will be dreaming good fetal dreams for you.

[Nancy]

Zowie is right -- very best of luck! Neurotic? Not so much.

I'm fairly certain that I would be sitting there in bed with a ratty stethoscope I found on ebay trying to discern any sort of message from the belly below, fully aware that it wouldn't tell me crapola.

Please update as soon as you get back! Pins, needles, etc.

[Dead Bug]

Boy, I need an automatic blog refresh setting. Finger getting tired from hitting the button.

[SheilaC]

Hooray for your OB office! Hoping and praying for great u/s results for you.

[Milenka]

I'm wishing you the best, Julia.

[Amy]

Not neurotic. Best of luck this afternoon!

[Tree]

I'm thinking of you! :)

[jennifer]

*happy thoughts* *happy thoughts* *happy thoughts*

[Brooke]

Fingers crossed over here. Good luck!

[Erin]

Has it been 2 hours yet? You're probably there already. Thinking happy heartbeat thoughts for you! (Your practice sounds fabulous!)