Last Week Was Better

Did you notice that I am lovingly going through and creating links for all of your blogs in the last post? Well I am. Because I love you. I had to ask Julie how to do it because I didn't know either but after she gave me specific instructions and I still screwed it up three times I finally got it sorted out. Voila. I am a hyperlinking weasel of great mastery. Last I checked I was about.... um, I have some more to do. But I will do them all.

The ultrasound sucked, frankly.

Alarms didn't go off and there was no blood streaming down the walls or anything, but I would hardly call the damn thing reassuring. The gestational sac grew nicely. Perfectly. Allow me to use the word "perfectly" here because it will not get seen again today. The embryo grew, too, but a little less nicely. Let's say it gained five or six days in a week. To be absolutely fair the last measurements were based upon random cursor placement since she could barely see it waaaaaaay over there in the corner, but still. Not the thumping good growth for which I was hoping.

Most damning of all, the heart rate was slow. 111 leisurely beats per minute to be precise. She said anything over 100 is fine but, people, ultrasound techs say a lot of things.

I came home and took a bath and then I was thunderously sick for an hour. Afterwards I crawled into bed and slept until Patrick climbed on top of me and we read a picture dictionary together. 

And now here I am.

Comments

[jessica]

I am sorry. I will still hope though, and will keep hoping.

[Marsha]

Yes, rooting will shall do. Vociferous rooting, in fact. (No doubt I'm making all our friends down under giggle a bit now. Ah well, since I'n unlikely to make you giggle I'll happily settle for the Australian contingent.)

Hugs.

[Marsha]

Uh, that's "rooting WE shall do."

[Libby]

I am so sorry the ultrasound was not reassuring Julia. Big hug to you.

[JK]

Bleh... Wah... Fuck... Not sure what monosyllabic word I want...

I will keep hoping for good things because I want good things for you.

[Julie]

I am sorry the news wasn't better/more reassuring. Where do you go from here--monitoring/ultrasound wise? I am hoping for the best for you.

[Heather Ann]

I am so sorry, Julia. Keeping toes crossed here, but I've been around long enough, so I won't say anything saccharine about how the tech couldn't possibly wrong. It sure would be nice if she was, though.
By the way, I love your Patrick stories.

[Tine]

Yup, still rooting over here. Go baby go. Stop terrorizing your mama.

[Hay Lady]

I'm sorry today did not go as well as last week. I'm keeping you & your family in my thoughts. We'll keep up the rooting.

Hugs to you.

[Nancy]

Well, hoping for profoundly robust growth next time! I know not of good heartbeat speeds or auspicious embryo growth indicators, but I am certainly rooting for more reassuring ones for you next week. And yes, by rooting, I mean f*cking.

(wow, wouldn't THAT be weird?)

[cherylc]

Well, that's not fair. I'm sorry it wasn't better.

[Sandy]

Still wishing and hoping good things for you....

[Angie]

I'm hoping you see a significant growth spurt during your next ultrasound. I'll be thinking about you! Best wishes.

[Lumpyheadsmom]

Hot. Fudge. Sundae.

with peanuts.

and whipped cream.

and a cherry.

Okay, two, because you're special.

[Anita]

I am so sorry. With my miscarriage, the hr was 105 bpm and the tech said it was fine and later the doctor said he wasn't so happy with the number.

But it *is* within the normal range.

hugs and hopeful wishes.

[Mete]

Damn. Nothing can ever be simple, can it?

Well, I'm hoping it's just a very calm child on it's way.

If nothing else, you and Patrick should celebrate that it's Pi day (3.14). Eat some pie. Unless pie makes you sick right now. I know Pi makes a lot of people sick.

[Denise]

Sorry the ultrasound wasn't as good as you wanted it to be. I hope next week is absolutely terrific!!!

I'll keep wishing and praying for the best!

[Alexa]

Oh, dratfuck. I am so sorry. I was hoping for unambiguously reassuring news for you. I continue to hope, however, and to send my thoughts in your direction.

[nate]

Ecch. So sorry the news isn't more reassuring right now. Thinking of you. Not commenting much b/c of travel, strep throat, etc., but I'm reading loyally and hoping the morning sickness goes away for the right reasons. Oh, and the only thing that worked for my morning sickness was ginger. Ginger tea, ginger snaps, ginger ginger ginger. Mostly the tea.

I think you're incredibly strong, btw.

[wheelomatic]

Well for heaven's sake.
I just commented on the last post, refreshed and found a whole new post and 19 comments. Did I slip in to a time zone? Step into a Slide Zone?

I am still saying NBHHY. Growth is good.

I will be happy for you if you are to nausea-numbed to do so.

[Kay]

WTF? I wish it were easier. Thinking of you.

[E]

Well darnit, I am NOT giving up on your wee embryo. It could pull through beautifully. At least I hope it does.

I'm sorry the news was not as reassuring as you (and we all) hoped for, but I'm saying a wee prayer for you all over there.

[Sandy]

Just for once can't something be easy for you? Just once. I don't think that's making an unreasonable request of the universe. Since I've quit trying, can't I send the chances I didn't use up over your way? I won't be needing them ... and it may double your chances of something being a bit easier someday.

[Liz]

NBHHY, root root root. Really it was only 6 3/4 days since the last ultrasound. Not time to whip out the sweatpants just yet. Hang in there, cupcake. I'm continuing my cautious optimism. When is the next peek?

[Lisa V]

Julia, just thinking of you. That's all.

[elecriclady]

Ugh. But holding out hope.

[chi_zit]

I have been lurking, but not noting. I'm an ass.

You're in my thoughts - all of you and your family and the wee thing. Now, start paying some rent; it's crowded in here.

(Seriously. Really hoping wonderful things happen at the next ultrasound. You deserve wonderful things. I think your overdue for some more wonderfuls.)

[Sarcomical]

oh boy. i know that may have been a bit disheartening, but i guess you can only go on until the next time. and who knows? the results might be phenomenally better. *crossing fingers for you*

;) hoping you have a better evening.

[Ms Sisyphus]

Well, I refuse to surrender the positive vibes. Maybe it's just going to grow into a perfectly healthy, albeit tiny, baby.

oh, another blog I think you'll like:

www.daycaredaze.blogspot.com

[Emily]

Thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. Make that LOTS of good thoughts.

[Tree]

Well sheeeit. I'm sorry your day sucked. I, too, will continue to root, though...

[Dixie]

I'm not quitting my rooting either.

All good thoughts coming your way.

[Brooke]

Still cheering for the little embryo. Hoping for better news next ultrasound.

[Meggan]

I'm sorry the ultrasound wasn't nearly as reassuring as it should have been. I'm still hoping for the best.

[Judy]

Wish the appointment went better. Is there an HCG update? Or, does the blood work come back tomorrow?

Korean pork Asian slaw recipe? I've been searching for it in my spare time with no luck - even the fine cooking web page does not have it - unless you misquoted the title - are you trying to send me on a wild goose chase? Would you believe that a wild goose bit me at the peting zoo this weekend? My husband nearly fell over laughing as it attacked me.

[Milenka]

I'm hoping for the best, Julia.

[Ruth]

Fingers still crossed and hoping for the best. I'm sorry today wasn't more reassuring.

[whoorl]

hey, don't let that heart rate get you down. my first ultrasound's heart rate was, you guessed it, 111 bpm. 14 weeks later, it's pumping strong.

chin up! i'm rooting for you.

[crystal]

Ack. I'm desperate. The right thing is the wrong thing the wrong thing would be the wrong thing what thing shall I say?

Silence?

Hopefully you know there's more to it than that, but for fear of jinxing you, silence it shall be. Humph. If that fails my magical thinking will be at the end of it's childish rope.

[Leggy]

Damn- I wissh that ultrasound had been perfect. Thinking of you & still hoping.

[Cathy]

Hanging in there with you and wishing you an outcome lieke Whoorl's.

[Leah]

Sending lots of healthy embryo love...

[anne nahm]

I'm trying not to buy sadness for you until I know it's on sale. Thank you for sharing. Will keep you in my thoughts.

[Ollie]

I'm hoping it's just a slow start and the next u/s is a completely perfect one, without worry. God, Julia, I wish it had been a perfect day today. I'm still going to hope for the best.

[CaraH]

I'm sorry, yet I hope I have no reason to be. Wishing you the best.

[kimberly]

Still rooting...

[Kelly]

OIY! I hate ambiguous as I'm sure you do as well. I'm still thinking happy embryonic thoughts for you and yours...

[map]

I'm so sorry the news was ambiguous/not good.

[Kate]

Maybe the embryo was just being lazy?

Sorry the news wasn't better.

[MFA Mama]

Well, fuck, that's almost WORSE in a way than if the damn thing was in there with Xs for eyes, isn't it? Ambiguity is for the BIRDS...speaking of birds, MFA Birdie laid an egg today for no apparent reason and I was rather hoping it was a good omen. Anyway. Sorry I called the embryo a damn thing--I'll continue to root for the little sucker, but I just wish that you'd gone in and found a HUGE embryo with a PHENOMENAL heartrate and everything all in a row in there...I remember during the early parts of my second and third pregnancies, when I was cramping and spotting and getting bad numbers, I wished that some kind of indicator light would show up in the pregnant woman's bellybutton area, you know, Green=Embryo doing just fine. Yellow=Don't tell Grandma about the baby until after the next ultrasound. Red=set out your baggie and wait for the Miscarriage Bunny to bring cherry cordials. Remember? How last miscarriage, or maybe it was the one before, when we were talking about the Miscarriage Bunny, and oh, how we all did...