Something Else

I suppose you are wondering how Patrick got the horrific forehead bruise and black eye? Um, I'm not sure actually.

We were upstairs in his room this afternoon. We read a few books. Steve wandered in. We all chatted. Steve went to use Patrick's bathroom. I started putting books away. Patrick walked into the guest room. Then...

Well, then there were shrieks and much weeping and I found Patrick on the floor of the guest room two seconds later with a rapidly swelling dent in his orbital ridge. It is sort of like one of those locked door mysteries, only instead of a dead millionaire with the 15th Dynasty dagger in his back we have Patrick with a head trauma. Did he run full-tilt into the corner of a wall? Smash his face against the bed frame for some unknown reason? Face plant on the window seat? Who knows.

He sat placidly on my lap for thirty minutes afterwards (well, crying piteously but placid) and let me put a bag of frozen corn on his face for a surprisingly long time. Steve entertained him by telling him about the time he (Steve) showed up for his very first (and, subsequently, very last) day as a construction worker and someone dropped a hammer from a higher story which "grazed" (cut to the bone) his forehead and eyebrow. Patrick was suitably impressed by the scar. I have to admit that it is a cool scar. Very Basil St. John (is that the second Brenda Starr reference I have made on this blog? I think it might be).

So apart from DeathWatch 2006 (excuse me, I mean, The Pregnancy) what else has been going on?

We replaced the Awful Duvet of Much Awfulness with the Innocuous Duvet of Much Chocolateness and I now need help figuring out what to do about the rest of it. I bought red cases and brown cases and blue cases and tan cases and some Euro shams and some king pillowcases and stood breathlessly back to admire the effect. It looked like the lovely rug had thrown up on the bed. I have scaled it down to 6 pillows now but it still looks weird. Remind me and I will post a picture tomorrow and you can tell me how to fix it. 

I don't have time to go into the unabridged version but Steve's parents are buying Patrick an outdoor playset for his birthday. Which is nice, but I am gradually coming to the conclusion that we don't have an acceptable place for it. Our house is built into a hill and the retaining walls start about ten feet behind the house. I think the playset has to be visible from my kitchen (yes? agreed?) which means to accommodate a playset we would have to flatten part of the slope and build new retaining walls to keep the earth back. Which, you know, is a rather big hassle for a slide and a ship's wheel. So in the normal course of things we would just say golly that is swell of you to offer but we seem to be fresh out of acrea.... (Steve has just handed me a blood-covered shirt. He seems to have toilet paper wedged up his nose. I have no idea what is going on around here. Amityville, I tell you)... uh, acreage and they would say ok. But in-law relationships are always odd, aren't they? Have I told you my theory that there is rarely a Right and a Wrong in these relationships? I mean, except for the truly crazy ones I think for the most part it is just Different. My brother's wife, for example, always spends the holidays going to brunches and cocktail parties and seeing loads of old family friends and extended family. We are much more nuclear and like to hunker down in one house just eating and drinking and playing games. I am sure she is bored to tears by our Christmas, just as I would be overwhelmed by hers, but I don't think either of us are wrong.    

Where was I? Oh right. In my family I would say Mom, where the hell do you suggest we put the damned thing, I mean, your generous gift? And she would look around and say, huh, I see the problem, do you think he would like a puppy instead? Steve's family requires more diplomacy. I am working on it, though. I have convinced Steve that his life-long dream has been to design and build a tree fort, with a slide. And a ship's wheel. We'll see how it goes.

Three days until genetic results. Most of the time I am perfectly calm. Sometimes I imagine good news. Frequently I imagine bad news. A few times I have actually panicked, racing heart and all, although I don't know whether that was over the prospect of good news or bad news or just the idea of wading out of Denial into something different.

I... I did make a tiny leap of faith today. I went to Target to get Patrick an Easter basket and stuff to put in the Easter basket. Then I decided to get Steve one too, because I like to surprise him and there is a new first-person shooter out for xbox that will fit perfectly in the basket and nothing says Happy Easter! like a violent video game. It seemed foolishly self-abnegating to have Easter baskets for Steve and Patrick and nothing for me, so I am surprising myself with one too. So there I was with three matching baskets in my cart and I found myself thinking about future Easters and.... I bought four. FOUR matching Easter baskets. I know. The hubris. I can always use them for the cats, though, should the need arise.         

Comments

[reenie]

Crossing my fingers that you won't need to use the basket for the cats.

[Carrie]

Just make sure that your bastket has LOTS of good stuff - hey, you can always blame the Easter Bunny!

[Marsha]

Re: the playset. Has the item been chosen yet? If not, you can deluge them with catalogs - all of which say "MUST HAVE X FEET OF CLEARANCE FOR SAFE PLAY" and hope they figure it out?

Re: baskets. I see your point. However, I'm going to remain unrelentingly positive and stick with the rooting. Why not? It's been working so far!

[Sandy]

Can I just tell you that I love reading your new entries? You always come up with a word that makes me haul out the dictionary..."abnegating"? I'm totally going to look that up.

I would love to see a picture of your new duvet and cases...I bet they look awesome..

I know that the test results are going to come back with wonderful news, and I know that next year you'll have two brilliant kids enjoying the deliciousness of Peeps.

[jb]

good for you getting that fourth basket. with you in your wait for news.

[julia]

I'm so glad to hear from you. Is that weird? So be it. I'm glad you're still doing well. And, I think it's wonderful that you got 4 baskets. Let's call it positive visualization!

[Dani]

Delurking to say that the Amityville 'Horror House' is only about 2 miles from me! (Okay. I'm lame. But your comment about it made me giggle!)

And of course to say....
I really hope there are four baskets filled with Easter goodies next year. :)

[Karen]

I hopefully bought a fourth christmas stocking after losing 5 pregnancies. It now belongs to a two year old named Mason who was number 7. Sometimes being hopeful pays off. I'm so glad you haven't lost that ability.

Karen

[mama without instructions]

Henry is constantly getting bumps, bruises and scratches on his head and face when I have my head truned for seconds. I have no idea how he manages it! Good for you with the baskets. Hope is a great thing and I look forward to the next good news!

[Kate]

Today Mr 3.4 yrs jumped off the dining table onto the dining chair which flipped backwards. As I flipped it forwards again one leg came crashing down on the foot. He fell under the table and we both cried for 2 minutes. Then, when my back was turned, he came racing out the loungeroom crying and when I went in he had pushed the flyscreen to the window wide open and obviously almost went out with it. Everyday I do an inventory of bumps and bruises.

Pictures of the cushions please!I like chocolate brown and want to see how the colours match.

[linda]

Ah, the mystery forehead hematoma... When my son was two, he loved to walk around with his blankie over his head, until he tripped on the corner of it and pitched headfirst into the coffee table. Clearly any competent, experienced mother could have predicted that event, but that person wasn't who my son got as a mother. Hence, my son as Cyclops - it's one of my favorite pictures of him.

All good thoughts for the ongoing chromosomal analysis (I had to delay a move to Europe pending my CVS results.... she's a fabulous 17 yo now!)

[swissmiss]

Leaps of faith are good things. And the internet will catch you if we have to.

[Emily]

Poor Patrick! How is he going to go to school looking like his parents beat him?

*crossing my fingers that the in-laws will get you a surprise new house to go with that playset*

[Lioness]

Oh Julia, I am hoping for a healty pregnancy for you with every fibre of my being, every single fibre of my being, even the negligible ones.

I am, as always, in awe of your writing and your strength. I'll never know how you manage to be so funny in the middle of so much worry. I don't understand why you don't have a publisher, your talent is mind-blowing.

I wish there was something practical I could do for you. I cannot cook and you're brilliant, but I am fabulous at shining shoes. I'd shine all your shoes for you if I could, and bring you ingredients for whatever, and books, I could do books. And things.

I'm sending you excellent transcontinental prayers and thoughts, and will be thinking of all of you.

[daysgoby]

It's Wednesday morning, and I hope so much for you....

Here's to the Easter Bunny filling all the baskets.

(Including yours? But won't Steve mind? Er...)

[webhill]

Our playgym is not visible from my kitchen. It is visible from the windows of our family room, which is adjacent to the kitchen, but just barely. It's not a problem. I figure if the kids need supervision, someone is out there with them; if they are big enough to be out alone, my watching through the window won't help. That's my story anyway :) It has worked fine so far. My kids are 5, 3, and 1. Thank you, btw, for the wonderful stories you share.

[jennifer]

Thrilled to hear that a little bit of hope is creeping in. I must admit that I'm very curious about the status of your nausea; you haven't mentioned it lately. Has all of the good news washed it away? Are you too potentially excited to be aware of it? Perhaps you're just merrily heaving between smiles? Maybe it's actually gone? My other burning question: Have you managed to keep up with your weekly meal planning and cooking in spite of all the sickness and drama? I continue to be in awe of your efficiently run household. And your intellect. And your ability to retain everything you have ever read in your entire life. Continue, please.

[Kay]

You bought FOUR baskets! Why does that thought make me weep with joy?

Happy Easter!

[Kate]

For what it's worth (perhaps nothing?), I and my three siblings spent loads of time on our outdoor swingset/slide/jungle gym, and it wasn't visible from indoors. My mother would periodically wander out to the yard (where she could see us) to make sure that no one had broken an arm, and when my sisters were little, they were always sent out with supervision. Nothing bad ever happened and we were all sad when the swingset was finally dismantled about ten years ago.

[jennifer]

i love treehouses. good luck with the in-laws; i still can't get a finger on mine. weirdos, i swear.

still uncomfortably (but enthusiastically) crossed for luck in every possible way...

[terri c]

I think most kids around Patrick's age manage to get the huge lump and black eye the day before a scheduled well-child visit to the pediatrician... so his timing was certainly better than average. Can't wait to see the Benign Duvet photos, and glad for the feeling that inspired the purchase of the fourth basket. Everything crossed.

[SheilaC]

Maybe the climber doesn't have to be visible from the house, as long as it's nearby. When they are old enough to be out by themselves, you could keep a window open to hear the screaming? Though it's hard to tell screams of happy play from (quieter?) screams of trouble, I have learned!
Good luck on that one.

Also many prayers and best wishes for getting through these 3 days, and for great results from the testing. Easter baskets sound great!

[lindsayc]

I find this funny - probably because not only did we have a trampoline that was only routinely checked, we were often unsupervised in the pool. All 3 of us survived! That said, my son wears a lifejacket in my parents yard at all times until he learns how to swim proficiently.

[Annie]

Basil St. John! I loved Brenda Starr. I haven't seen it for years. I wonder what ever happened to Star Twinkle. Thanks for reminding me of it. I'm off to Google...

[Jenorama]

That made me cry a little bit.

I don't even know you, but I love this baby you are carrying, and I think about you everyday.

[Deb]

You sound really good, I love your decorating dilemmas.

Congratulations of the 4 Baskets of goodness. It is a lovely thing, heres to positive thinking!

[The Aitch]

Just wanted to say that I heart you. I hadn't said it in awhile. Kiss Patricks bruised up noggin for me k?

[Ginger]

Building a new retaining wall (or even moving) would be less trouble than a puppy. Truly.

[Lisame]

Poor Patrick. However, you made me remember something VERY funny:

http://dailymumps.com/2006/02/24/free-tip-for-homeowners

[Cat, Galloping]

oh gosh, i really REALLY hope the cat only gets to use it this one year.

[Lucy]

After a trying day, I typed in your URL just in case you had updated and yay! you did. I find your writing so inspiring and uplifting and laugh-out-loud funny. Hooray that you're feeling optimistic. Me too. Please don't forget to post pictures (even though my decorating skills are null and void) and also the results for which I'm keeping fingers and toes crossed for you.

[Christine]

I beg to differ.

The in-laws calling me, in Boston, at an ugodly hour to ask where Paul, in LA was (and by "was" I don't mean 'hey we have an emergency, what hotel is he at,' by "was" I mean, 'Paul is NOT IN HIS HOTEL ROOM RIGHT THIS MINUTE WHERE IS HE WETHINKHE'SDEAD.' That's Wrong.

Drumming my fingers impatiently until Friday. And hoping that the cats will be shit out of luck next Easter.

[Tine]

Hope comes in many shapes...and for you, apparently, it's shaped like a basket. Good for you for indulging that urge! Yay for hope!

[Erica77777]

Very, very happy that the Quite An Ugly Duvet Cover is finally gone. Hope Steve wasn't too upset.

[Anne Glamore]

Having the playset within sight is ideal, but as long as it's within shrieking distance I think you're ok. Does that help any, or has everyone just decided I'm an unfit mother??

[throwingutah]

Rainbow's Castle playsets can work in a sloped yard, but I don't know if your ILs generosity extends quite that many thousands of dollars. There are plenty of kits out there you can adapt for your yard.

The Target baskets are great - I got one for my son also. I hope they have the same style again next year, since it didn't occur to me that I'm pregnant, too. Oops.

[kathleen999]

Well, the cats really won't appreciate it. So I think you bought it for the right person.

I had one of those unexplained trauma events the other day. I was in the kitchen getting their dinner together, and I heard a big whack from the living room. I ran out there to see both babies standing in the playpen, looking startled and guilty. But whoever did whatever it was, they aren't talking (well, they aren't yet anyway.) And within a short period of time, Zack had a big red mark on his forehead. Yikes. I wonder what they did.

[Linda B]

I had a mini scare last week (totally not comparable to your experiences, of course) and I was a wreck for nine days. I have to say that you are impressively calm and cool.

I hope everything turns out perfectly.

[Blythe]

wow- I've been working on my easter sermon all day and just took an internet break. 4 baskets for easter - thats a better statement of easter than anything I've been writing - tentative, scary hope.

[MustangSally]

You could always get one of those convex mirrors they put across from driveways near sharp corners to see what's going on :) My 1 yr old got his first shiner yesterday chasing a kitty down the cement steps. Looks like he was in Baby Fight Club. Stupid me, I didn't think to put ice on it. So you're already a better Mom than me. But then I knew that already :)

[Mir]

I was just thinking today that we (I) need a tree fort and a slide, but I could no more design and build one than I could piss champagne. Once you convince Steve, can I borrow him?

*quietly noting but being nonchalant about the baskets*

[Jill]

My 7 year old now has a hole in his foot because he stepped on a screw sticking out of a piece of wood - on purpose. I love boys, but I'll never understand them.

[Lisa P]

Four baskets? I love it! Four is a wonderful number. Good for you.

Awaiting THE news . . .

[Sarcomical]

now, you KNOW you'll be using all four. ;)

but i promise you...if you put that fake grass in those baskets there WILL be a cat trying to get in there.

[Judy]

What if you start having succesful pregnancy after sucessful pregnancy after sucessful pregnancy? You and Steve are so used to fucking like rabbits that you might end up like that family on DIY's '16 and Moving In.' Now, isn't that thinking positive for you? Then you would need a good deal more Easter Baskets! That said, I'm glad you bought 4. I think you'll be needing 4 soon enough. It just seems right that all would go well after you pranced on a poor sick Steve.

Hhhmm.. you could just say nothing to Steve's parents and leave the un-set up outdoor playset in the garage, and maybe after a few visits they'll get the idea that perhaps they should ask before buying you something so big + expensive. Like "So, Julia we would like to buy something big and expensive for Patrick? Any ideas?" My inlaws ask and then ignore, so this is purely theoritical advice.

I hope Good Friday arrives and departs with lots of good news for you!

Cheers,
J

[Emily]

Still keeping everything crossed for you Julia. I admire your attitude and your strength. I'm not feeling particularly clever today, sorry for not leaving a comment that could elicit a smile, but just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

[liz s]

Buying the basket was a big step. Congratulations! I remember finally daring to buy maternity shirts. I felt like I was "testing the fates" but it all worked out.

Thinking of you!

[Georgia]

An extra Easter basket cannot affect the outcome of your pregnancy.

I have to remind myself of these things daily, as I am queen of jinxing.

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