Again With The Kitchen

I am confused.

With regard to your concern about the refrigerator with the glass door I must ask: Huh? I hardly understand... do you mean to say... don't tell me your fridge is all cluttered with Tupperware containers of dubious antiquity and crusty-lidded condiments? Really? Tsk tsk tsk.

Right now mine holds three sun-kissed peaches nestled in a Baccarat Harcourt bowl, a layered cake upon which sugared pansies spell out "I Love You, My Precious Wife", a bouquet of fresh herbs, half a dozen ostrich eggs and a gorgeous cobalt blue bottle of spring water from the Norwegian fjords. I mean, honestly, in a properly run household one's refrigerator should be a Still Life just begging for a picture window to the world.

A-hem.

Re. the noted cleanliness of my house: I am trying to decide if I will feel like less of an ass if I tell you I am so obsessed by tidiness that I polish the cats every morning at sunrise or if I tell you that I (a stay-at-home mother with absolutely no self-generated income and a child in school two mornings a week) have a cleaning woman named Mrs. Skogen who comes with the frequency of a city bus at rush hour. Ummmm, yeah. Still not sure. Feeling like an ass regardless. Will let you decide which is true.

It IS a pretty kitchen, thank you. Per your comments I asked Steve why he didn't just move the dishwasher to the other side of the sink in order solve the refrigerator problem and he said, accusingly, "Because YOU didn't want the dishwasher to be farther away from the cabinet where the dishes get put away."

"You put an addition on the house because I did not want to walk an extra three feet?"

Yes, he said.

Which is actually kinda sweet. Crazy, of course, and most probably a delusion on his part because I certainly don't remember insisting that he should demolish half the kitchen but... ok. I have learned it is necessary to pick one's battles in life and if Steve wants to spend his free time gilding this lily who am I to argue with him? Maybe the see-through fridge will constitute his entire mid-life crisis. Wouldn't that be a treat.

GAH! I have NEWS to impart. PLANS to share. Why do I keep distracting myself?

Next up: Finalized Reproductive Agenda 712 and Netflix is throttling us again and I feel like  smacking them. Has Netflix ever slowed your shipments down to a trickle and started sending them out of order? Were you in the middle of watching a series? Isn't it enraging?

Comments

[Erin]

Dude, I'm first! I'm sincerely jealous about your kitchen, but more so about the cleaning woman. Hiring someone to clean my house is my first priority when I get a job, let me tell you.

Very interested in your next plans!

[JustLinda]

I know nothing about netflix so I'm ignoring that part (only, I suppose to tell you I'm ignoring it isn't really IGNORING it, now, is it?)

But I must comment on the other stuff. That was so freaking funny. The whole damn thing. I was laughing out loud and my husband looked over in SHOCK that I was laughing because there was a sad, tragic news story on TV. But he was relieved to know I wasn't laughing at TV. I did laugh at you and your husband. But if you tell him I laughed at him, also tell him I proactively apologized.

I love reading your blog.

[Cricket]

I read someplace unremembered about a complaint-ish lawsuit-ish quasi thing that NetFlix will slow down the shipments of people are too regular about it. Even if you're allowed unlimited numbers of DVDs and you follow the rules about returning them, they will unprioritize you based on your usage rate. They penalize the best customers.

I've only had it a couple months and I haven't had any problems yet.

Love the kitchen. Could not handle a glass fridge. That would remind me too much about the food in there. It would call to me. Food and maybe beer, both calling.

[Miz S]

Love the clever Barbara Fritchie sub-reference. It was the first poem I ever memorized.

My kitchen is quite ghastly compared to yours.

[Arwen]

Yes, darn it, Netflix does that to me too. Slows the shipments down for no apparent reason, and will randomly send me items that are not first in my queue. It's infuriating.

I think your kitchen is beautiful and your husband is sweet and I am envious of your hypercleanliness or your cleaning lady, whichever one it is. And I can't wait to hear about the new reproductive agenda.

[anne nahm]

I adore your kitchen.

The only way you can have that fridge is if you store E.T. in it and at regular intervals? He lights up his finger and your potted plants all re-bloom. If I had that fridge? I would hallucinate that the milk whispered "phone... home!" everytime I opened the door.

[Lynnette]

Yep. Netflix throttles me, too. Love the kitchen. I'm also in remodeling hell right now...ugh.

[Jujubee]

I hope you have a cleaning lady because then I could relate to you. While I love cleanliness, I don't love it enough to actually clean, which is why I am a stay at home mom with a cleaning lady.

[margalit]

Netflix is doing this right now to us. We're on Season 6 of the Sopranos and it's all out of order. Drives me batty. The whole point of watching a series is seeing it from start to finish, right?

Love your kitchen. It's lovely. And big. But the glass door fridge. A friend of mine has a full glass door Sub Zero and it isn't pretty, especially since she uses old yogurt containers to store leftovers.

[Pygmalion's Wife]

The sad thing is, we're all chuckling at the list of fridge contents, but it's probably true. I want a cleaning lady so badly that I'd even take Clotilde back (remember her? that potato-brush thieving old so-and-so). Alas, we now spend that money on couples counseling. Whereas a CLEANING LADY would produce measurable results. SIGH...

[deborah]

Uh, I'm betting that even though you have a Mrs. Skogen, you're STILL polishing those cats.

[Toni]

I, too, have a cleaning lady. I'm assuming they are not the same person. But who knows...mine does go all over.

I continue to try different ways to keep my house clean - am currently reading "Organic Housekeeping". While not a true granola, I am attempting to get more chemicals out of the house (started with your Baking Soda list - you should replay some of "The Best of Julia" posts...that one ROCKED!).

Anyways...I do have a point. While EXTREMELY excited by the reproductive posting coming - could we get some tips on how to keep our house clean while still allowing the child(ren) to do what they must?? Yeah...need that badly...

[Natalee]

Alas, Nexflix and I are still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. However, I'm not looking forward to the screwups, once we settle in our domestic life together.

[Lala]

Your fridge does sound like a still life where mine would be filled with row upon row of Dr.Pepper.

[terri c]

Your kitchen is exquisite. Your husband is both sweet and talented. Perhaps a touch selectively responsive, but then... However I could not possibly have a refrigerator with a glass door because I would then have three dog noses glued permanently to the glass door, looking longingly at the contents. I suspect that would rather defeat the purpose.

[Marsha]

You need some pink in that still life - maybe a salmon caught just this morning in Alaska and flown in an the G5 while safely packed in fleur de sel bought for exactly that purpose and no other?

As for Netflix, I found the solution to be keeping one's list very much out of order and keeping a bunch of stuff you'd kinda like to see at the top so when your're throttled and they send titles that are further down the list they're what you wanted to see in the first place.

[Rach]

I am SO jealous of your kitchen. We have had plywood countertops going on 8 months now (this is after living without a stove/oven for over a year). Can I trade my husband for yours?

I feel silly asking, but that was you quoted in the June issue of Parents magazine, right?

[Ariella]

Erik is like that too. He will BUILD me furniture if I point out of a piece that I like in a catalogue. "Oh, honey, do you like this bookcase/table/buffet/cabinet?" " . . . it's nice." And then a month later, it will be a surprise for me! Coming out of the basement!

We detest Netflix. They throttle us ALL the time, even though I have written several "strongly worded" letters to them noting that their policies make us want to cancel our membership. But that's what they WANT, so we don't.

[sozzled]

Netflix is pissing me off currently as well, which is a shame, because I want to love them (I had a similar experience with Simon, they made me love them and then screwed up orders on me for months until I gave up on them, leaving me brokenhearted at the loss of my grocery boy.)

[C]

The commenter who mentioned the lawsuit is correct. Netflix uses an equation to rate renters. If you rent a lot of new/popular DVD's they will put you lower on the list for that rental. Also if you return your dvd's quickly they also down grade the renter.

[terriblemother]

Netflix is one of the best things ever. So are cleaning ladies. When I am rich and famous, I will have one.

[Jujubee]

So, if you actually are so obsessed with tidiness that the you've taught the cats to polish themselves every morning, can you do a post on what you use? Product-wise, I mean. Like, what you use for specific surfaces and super duper spot cleaners and your cleaning utensils (vaccuum, mop, scrubbers, etc) of choice?

[Crystal]

SAHM with domestic help is assish? Assery? Assholery?

Gee, the heights I aspire to.

My "if I ever win the lottery dream" is to buy myself a nice hunk of land somewhere green, and occasionally snowy, build a ginormous house, and have lots of domestic help. Then I can take in all the foster kids the law will possibly allow, and just spend my time loving them, while someone else does the hard work.

That and a communal living thing for single parents who need a leg up. I also aspire to be all welfare should be, but never will be, not in this country.

One day I'll escape this concrete jungle, and be able to afford enough bedrooms to satisfy the requirements of social services so we can have one, or (gasp!) two more foster kids. I miss having them around. They're lovely people, when you take the time to see it. Insert huge pout here.

I was going to suggest moving the island. Or anything other than.... demolition, but, whatever makes him happy. Typed mappy but meant happy. Good lord, is that some odd mistake.

Refrigerator sounds good. My husband seems to want to turn me into a poker widow. Remodeling is much more socially acceptable. Ah, well. The fringe benefits to being a poker widow make it worth the stigma.

Wow, I'm still reeling at the domestic help thing. Way to knock down my ego, Julia. For shame.... : )

[Mir]

I hope that I can someday find a man who will demolish half a kitchen for me. So far I've only managed to find men who take me out a couple of times, reveal themselves to be insane, and then stalk me for a while.

Also, I am fresh out of ostrich eggs. Am weeping.

[Lisa P]

I'm voting that the cleaning lady is a reality. And you wouldn't be an ass in my book because then I'd be an ass for the same reasons. Can't go calling MYSELF an ass now can I?

Interested to hear about the FR Agenda 712 . . .

[Judy]

Netflix sends me broken DVDs, which I get really excited to watch, and then when they don't play I examine them only to find a huge crack thru the disk (never has it been a case of clean and reload). Then again I live in a ghetto where the mail lady doesn't get to us until 6 PM, and her kids play in our lobby while she sorts our mail. Choose my battles right? Our post office even looses certified letters - no kidding.

BTW, Netflix slows down deliveries to the slowest allowable by their polices if you are too quick to return them (i.e. if you are an efficient viewer). My husband sent me an article on that. If I can find it I'll repost or pass it along.

I just made my husband come and see the photo of your kitchen. I have informed him that I will be searching for a similar light fixture, and he will have to install it when I find it. Our kitchen is 1/2 demolished at the moment. In our wildest dreams our finished kitchen will not be so nice as your starting point. Did I tell you that our kitchen remodel started when we couldn't get the broken cooker out of our kitchen? Appartently the cooker was original to the late-80's build, and they got the cooker in before they put in the kitchen wall (studs + drywall). I was so sick of the wall being the wrong length (never mind bowed and slanted) that I OK'd my semi-handy husband to go out and purchase a reciprical saw to cut it down after work one evening. Yes, I realize that screams desperation.

[Sally]

My vote is for those poor polished cats. I remember you posting a picture of your newly organized tea/coffee cabinet, was it? And don't you have some kind of bill paying "system" that you're all giddy about? Oh, and there's more, isn't there...lots more. You know it, I know it, Mrs. Skogen knows it too. And about that name...Mrs. Skogen? Sounds dubious. Probably the name of one of your cats, or another obscure literary reference. (My apologies to dear Mrs. Skogen if she's not a feline)

[far and away the farthest]

For you it would be a window. In one day in my house it *would* be a still life glued against the inside of the door. I have no idea how you can see the brandless containers stacked up on the shelves of my refrigerator like a container ship and the mounds of oddments encased in plastic baggies.

No, a view is a bad idea. Maybe I could see that I was all out of milk without straining to open that heavy door, but every time I walked into the room I would see the cheesecake which should be pronounced 'eat the cheesecake'.

Doesn't the whole 'precious wife' cake thing make you blush? I absolutely have to twist a lock of my hair every time I get one.

Netflix is very reliable with me. It is just that every third movie stops and skips after the first 38 minutes so I have to watch it on the computer and keep fiddling with the thing just to get the gist. Some precious exceptions of course like 'The Shipping News' make it worth it.

[Julia]

aside from a messy inside to show off glass doors on your fridge aren't as effective at keeping the fridge cool. The fridge then works harder, uses more enegry and it sweats sometimes. Unless they've fixed these issues because I would live a glass front fridge.

[vickey]

We have a glass door commercial refrigerator, & we love it so much that we keep it alive with frequent & exhorbitant cash infusions to Bill The Repairman. Owning it is like owning a horse in terms of upkeep.

Once you go pro, a mere mortal 'fridge just won't do. My husband's only acceptable alternative? The Subzero Pro 48. His longing for this perfect blend of commercial & residential appliance is deep & pure. We all need our dreams...

[Rachel-G]

Only commenting on the Netflix thing...because I am so jealous of your kitchen.
Easy solution: Dump nexflix on its too expensive ass and do the Blockbuster online. Better if not equal prices, on top of which you can get coupons for in store rentals if you want (well the come with the package, but you don't have to use them) which makes their service even better than nexflix. If you only switch your DVDs once a month and use your coupons (one a week) you make out in the cost department.

[Libby]

Wow I am so surprised so many of you are having issues with Netflix. We've had Netflix for several years now and they have been fabulous. Never late, never broken, never screwy (is that a word?). We lurve Netflix and I recommend it to everyone. I am sorry it's not working out for you guys.

Now, we don't watch a gazillion movies a month and I love me some foreign and indy movies so maybe that has something to do with it. Who knows.

And I dream of having a cleaning lady.

[terriblemother]

If Netflix downgrades users based on how fast they return movies, then I have the highest rating. Ever. I am the reason Netflix makes money, because I can barely use my 4-a-month in time, and I end up doing something like holding on to Garden State--a movie I've already seen for the Love of Christ--for four weeks.

Now if I could just swap my Netflix rating with my credit rating, I'd be all set.

[Monica C.]

I don't care how often Mrs. Skogen comes (that city bus thing was funny as shit, by the way), WHERE ARE ALL OF THE TOYS? WHERE ARE ALL OF THE PAPERS/ENVELOPES/SCHOOL PROJECTS/KEYS/HAIR BOWS (ok, I'll give you the hair bows)????!!!!!!

Geez, woman!!

And I freaking LOVE your floors and LOVE your windows, by the way.

[Alexa]

You forgot the tiny, shivering manservant who perches atop the crisper and hands you things when you open the door.
And re: Netflix--they ONLY mess up the order of your shipments when you are in the middle of a tense bit in a series. There is probably an algorith explaining this somewhere.

[Beth]

Seriously drooling over your kitchen.

Netflix.

Ah, the bane of my existence that has turned into. Completely ruined my plans at watching Sex in the City in continguous segments. Now they are driving me asbsolutely loopy as I try an coordinate all the girly movies to be here just in time for bedrest post ET. What kind of movies keep showing up instead? Enron - The Smartest Guys in the Room. Grrr-eat. Besides, I think my postman snags our movies, watches them, and then puts them in our box - they always seem to be hastily sealed when we *finally* receive them.

[Mallie]

Throttling was the reason I dropped Netflix, before throttling was revealed as a practice and we all assumed Netflix was just being wonky for whatever reason.

I figured it was my fault, that I had such odd stuff in the queue, they couldn't help but send stuff out of order, not send stuff for days at a time, etc. Pretty sucky way to treat someone paying for a service.

Dibs on the wood floor when you decide to remodel; it's just lurvely.

[wen521]

Alas, Netflix had a class action suit about the whole throttling thing, which they prefer to think of as "making sure those customers who don't use our service a lot get their movies first when competing with someone who does nothing but watch DVDs all day (thus lowering our profit margin). Now, due to the new rules, they have to say something in all the fine about purposefully slowing down your shipment if you're a frequent watcher. I do wish I were kidding.

[Michelle]

Re: Netflix, I've been told that since it's a subscription-based business, the most desirable customer is one that pays the subscription and then never or rarely uses the service. It keeps their costs down that way. They won't mind losing loyal frequent renters if there's a chance they'll pick up a new infrequent subscriber instead. That just works best for their financial model.

I'm glad I'm not a subscriber, but I did try them once. I'm too spur of the moment- can't usually plan ahead enough to get the movies in time.

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