In My Spare Time

We live near quite a few households in which the Man of the House is around some weekdays. There is the pilot, the radiologist, Steve, the guy who retired early, the guy whose wife has the money... a regular little pack of them running around mowing things on Tuesdays rather than Saturdays. This is nice because if you ever need a hand moving a grand piano* in the middle of the week you have some options. It is also nice (and I don't know why I find this so funny; perhaps because I am a sexist throwback to the unenlightened ages) because they provide Steve with the occasional social event. On Wednesdays, you see, this group of men gets together for coffee. Coffee! Delicious coffee! It slays me. I keep picturing the menu section of my beloved 1963 Joy of Cooking only rather than housewives it is a bunch of males trying to figure out what they can next suspend in gelatin and label "salad".

HA!

Steve went this morning and took Patrick with him so I am now ALL ALONE in the house. This never happens. As many times as I suggest that Steve and Patrick should go kayak the Missouri or something they always find reasons to stay home or bring me with them. I celebrated my independence by making the bed**, cleaning the kitchen, putting a load of laundry in the dryer and now I am writing a blog entry about nothing. I clearly live for pleasure alone.

Until very recently Patrick still used a sippy cup. Partially because I worried about his getting enough liquid (what with his bowel issues, ahem) and a sippy cup did not involve my having him to haul him to the table or an oil-cloth every half hour during his less dexterous years, but mostly because every time I tried to pour juice into a normal cup Patrick would scream "AAAAAAAIIIIIII! I can't have a sippy cup! AUGGGGHHH! AUGGGGGGHHH!" and I decided maybe it wasn't time to make the change. Because the change involved screaming. And I am weak. So two became three became almost four years old and Patrick was still using a sippy cup. When I tried to go cold turkey a few months ago he just did not drink anything. At all. All day. Which is actually a pretty effective negotiating technique, when you think about it. Short of prying his jaws open and pouring the apple juice directly into his esophagus via funnel it is hard to win that battle. So the sippy cups returned.

A few weeks ago I googled the subject of sippy cup addiction hoping to find some tricks on easing the transition. First, I was embarrassed to see that every mention of the subject involved children half Patrick's age and then I was horrified when I stumbled upon an article called something like "Are you babying your special needs child?" The horror was that I was guilty of seven out of the nine things the author mentioned and, um, Patrick's only special need is that I am apparently out to sabotage his development.

Unwittingly, of course, but still.

So I decided to ease Patrick off some of his more dependent behaviors (one day Patrick will coolly tell some nice girl, "I am sorry, Lois, but my mother used to remove the seeds from my cherry tomatoes. You are just not meeting my emotional needs when you suggest I put away my own socks") before I wreck the kid for all time.

Operation SippyCup has been surprisingly painless.  One night for dinner I poured Patrick's soy milk into a Dixie riddle cup. He read it. We all had a hearty laugh over the fact that fish are smart because they travel in schools. Then Patrick demanded his sippy cup- ha ha and all, but joke's over. We explained that he would now use a normal cup at the table for meals but he could still use a sippy cup at other times. He screamed. We ignored the screaming. He gave up after a minute. And he is drinking out of a normal cup as I type this. Voi-fucking-la.

The mills of my parenting are exceedingly slow but they grind exceedingly fine.

Next up: Pulling up his own pants, washing his own hands, using a fork, zippers, using a potty for all bodily functions and not just those of a uric nature, and algebra.

Thank you for your thoughts on getting Patrick to be more cooperative at school. I should have realized this already but I had never tried to apply my understanding of Patrick (slight though it is) to getting him to do things. I have always been, like, want a sticker? No? Well I am fresh out of ideas.   

Someone said something about, um, damn it, I don't remember how you put it, but it spoke to Patrick's definite need to have structured goals. When I asked him to put away the marble run this morning he declined. When I asked him to put away the red pieces first, the yellow pieces second, the green pieces third and the blue pieces last he eagerly asked, "And can I count them too?" I graciously agreed and then he graciously agreed. Since I have already admitted I am a lousy mother I guess it won't do any harm to confess this approach had NEVER occurred to me until I read the comments.

So thank you. 

*Richard Scarry of Busy Busy fame once sent the following telegram to the woman he later married "MUST MOVE GRAND PIANO. HEAVY. NEED HELP. COME IMMEDIATELY. ...DICK." Just try to tell me that isn't absolutely charming.

**I forgot you were going to help me with my bedding problem. First, be soothed by the complete absence of the Worst Duvet Cover Ever.

Ah.

Now, lack of terrible batik aside, doesn't it still look a little weird? A little sterile or something? I think I need more pillows but I don't know what they should look like. Here it is with the rug again. What do you think? Should I bring in some of that red, maybe?

PS The very observant will note that we now have THREE cat paintings and have put them over our bed. I remain defiant on the subject despite the fact that there will be a special cutesy corner of hell waiting just for us. In other respects we are ardent modernists, though, I swear it.

Comments

Hola,

Damn, Patrick is a cute little ball of adorable.

My only thought with the bed was that your back pillows are not wide enough, especially with an open iron headboard. With such high ceilings, king-sized bed, etc., you just need to get the scale right. I wouldn't necessarily throw more pillows on, just larger ones.

Check this out: http://www.roomandboard.com/rnb/coll.do?coll=RB1228&dept=RB121

So! Happy mother's day! Patrick is lucky little scamp.

[Robin]

My neighbor just told me yesterday how her 3-4 year old granddaughter was punished at preschool: she WAS NOT allowed to help pick up!!

Evidentally, she loves to pick up, so that was her punishment when she misbehaved, and they said it worked. Too funny. They are all so different.

[julia]

I love the grey duvet cover. Yes, I think a few pillows with red in them ... maybe cushion(s) with the same type of weaving as the rug? And, well, since you brought it up ... I like your cat paintings, but not there. The scale is too small. Even grouped. Sorry, but I must speak out. Isn't there another spot in the room they can live?

I think a larger image with a few bits of vibrant red worked in would be good.

Also, I love your bed ... is it from Room & Board?

My son (30 mo.) is nowhere NEAR ready for a regular cup. God help me when that day comes. But I think you're doing wonderful on facilitating development - I'm so damned lazy that I don't want to even think about potty training. Diapers are so eeeeeasy. None of that running around looking for a public bathroom, cleaning up accidents at home and abroad, changing sheets at 3 in the morning. Poor kid o' mine, huh?

[Jenorama]

I just finished crying my eyes out about CancerBaby, when I came across your post from earlier this week.

I knew you would understand.

[monica]

I agree with all the others about pillows or something with pattern and teture on the bed. I really like the grey color of the comforter, I am going to add, that I think you should lower those beautiful lamps! I know, this will be a pain, because of the electricity thing, but I really think that if they were lowered to be about even with the middle of the headboard, and a bit closer in, they would look great - the way they are now they are just kind of "out there" in the middle of the wall - and also it looks like they always have to be pulled all the way out and down for you to use them to read.

As far as the sippy cup issue goes- sometimes I wish they had them for adults!

[Pam L]

New here, thatnks to Miz S at Vast veranda. Yes, games work for a while, then they are not fun and picking up is still a chore. Threats, bribes, etc. only work for a while too. Basically cleaning is boring for them, and me, so it just goes on to we are jumping through more hoops to get them to do stuff. My younger one worked better if I worked with him, he just hated doing it alone, and he's now 13 and is just now getting his room and bathroom cleaned without the major hassle taking all morning. Both my boys were 4- 4+1/2 before they were full potty users. it was just too much work to think about it in advance. But, they were both reading at 3, so why worry. As a wise man once said- no (non-disabled) kid goes to Kindergarten in diapers. They have to care though, and boys? not so much. I think the adorable sleeping child on the bed is a very nice design touch. And red, I agree, would add some punch and tie in nicely with the wall hanging. I like the clean lines and uncluttered look. Nice to meet you.

[Denise]

CancerBaby has passed away... the world is a sadder place now.

[Judy]

So what? Now we're only going to hear from you on Wednesdays when Steve takes Patrick to his coffee clatch?

That said I should just shut up as I still haven't gotten thru the comments from your last post. Lord knows I need all the child rearing advice I can get.

[Shai Mohammed]

Sippy cup...ha!
Sippy cup is easily defeatable with the magical bendy straw.
The bendy straw is, in the eyes of a toddler, the reason we developed thumbs.
Later, the special occasion super twisty coloured hard plastic straw (sometimes adorned with cartoon characters) may be introduced.
Go gently.

[bex]

give me a speech i need 1!!!!!!!

[Sam]

Coming from a scrapbooker's point of view, you need texture. Everything looks flat and smooth (aside from the child, which I assume does not sleep there 24/7).

[olla4af1g]

[url]http://www.geocities.com/problem397play/online-casino-poker-online-poker-online-poker-casinoalgarve.htm[/url]