1,477,940 Divided By 369,485 Equals

Patrick went to a birthday party today. It was quite an honor as the birthday kid turned six and Patrick was the youngest guest by two whole years (if you ever think your four year old is big just put him in a line-up with some kindergarten graduates- Patrick looked like a malnourished midget in comparison). Granted the birthday mother and I are friends (friends! I have friends now! uber-local, honest-to-god, call-on-the-phone friends. remind me to fill you in on this miracle in the Plains) but I think Matthew actually requested Patrick's presence, possibly on the basis of Patrick hosting him to the jumping place party. I got the impression Matthew might think Patrick lives at the jumping place and was interested in furthering the acquaintance on these grounds alone. And who was I to correct him when Packy was having so much fun running around with the giant children, screaming?

There was a balloon guy at the party, making balloon things. First Patrick got a black balloon cat. Then he saw that everyone else had swords so he tentatively asked the balloon guy for a sword. After watching the creation of such wonders as Mouse on a Motorcycle and Monkey Climbing a Palm Tree Patrick looked thoughtful.

"Do you think he could make me a letter or a number?"

"Probably. Wait until it is your turn and ask him."

So Patrick planted himself in front and waited, patiently.

"I would like a four, please," he said.

"You got it, buddy!" the balloon guy thundered and presented him with... a sword. Patrick accepted it with a polite thank you, trotted over to hand me the sword, and returned to the front again.

"Four please!" he said when it was his turn again.

The balloon guy paused. "OK!" And then twiddled his fingers to produce... another sword.

I sat there trying to figure out if I should help or not as Patrick placed the third sword at my feet like a well-trained hunting dog. He looked despondent.

I said, "Well, be sure to ask if he has the time, but maybe you want to say that you would like him to make you something that looks like the number four, please."

"Just a sec," he said to me, one finger extended in a pretty good imitation of myself when I am trying to buy another five minutes to read email. He went back to the balloon guy. The other kids had wandered off.

Clasping his hands, Patrick said, "My mommy says if you have time you could make the number four please." He then unclasped his hands and held up fingers in rapid succession. "Yes? One plus three? Five minus one? Two plus two? Zero plus four? Eight minus four? YES? THE NUMBER FOUR?!"

He turned to me, "I don't think he knows it."

The balloon guy made him a lovely number four in blue. Patrick then asked for a P. The guy turned purple.

"No no," I said, "he just wants the letter P. He doesn't have to..."

"Actually I do," Patrick interrupted and started to pull down his pants, right there in the garden.

I am willing to bet everything I have that the balloon guy has never been so happy to see the last of a child as he was when I hustled Patrick off to the bathroom.

And speaking of gambling, I started stims tonight. If you ask my RE, the plan is that I will inject 150iu of Gonal F for three days, then 112.5iu for two days. Then I will have an ultrasound to check follicle growth and we will proceed from there, most likely doing an insemination in a week and change. If you ask me (or more importantly, Julie) I will inject those ridiculously high doses of gonadotropins for five days only to show up for my ultrasound with over a dozen follicles on board and be canceled on the spot.

Isn't it exciting?

Comments

[Leah]

LMAF! Patrick is awesome!!!

[Beth]

It *is* exciting! Best of luck, fingers crossed, and all that (from a long time lurker)...

[Marsha]

First, yes it *is* exciting. You've got, like, the whole internets all finger crossedy and holdy breathy.

Second, my son once asked a balloon guy for an airplane and then gave it back because the design wasn't deemed airworthy. I hope it wasn't the same balloon guy that Patrick encountered because if so he's surely wondering how far west he must travel to find a party full of kids who are happy with poodles and swords.

[christa]

I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for this round. Good luck!

[anne nahm]

Patrick needs to be the hero of his own comic book. I heart him.

[Boulder]

I think Julie needs to start a professional certification program, wherein RE's can learn more about stims and what to prescribe before using their "well, we'll just use the first few cycles as trial and error" methods, and have to prove that they won't be wasting our collective time on canceled cycles before they receive accreditation.

Then they could advertise as being certified by "alittlepregnant.com" and we'd all know they were worth going to see.

Good luck with the turbo-plan!

[VanillaDreams]

Good luck with your IUI!!!

Speaking of balloon animals, did you ever see Wedding Crashers, and the scene that went something like this?:

Bratty Kid: I want a bicycle.
Jeremy Grey: Listen, a bicycle is going to take a lot of balloons and frankly, uncle Jeremy is a bit tired. How about I make you something else?
Bratty Kid: I just want a bicycle!
Jeremy Grey: Why... why are you yelling at me?
Bratty Kid: Make me a bicycle, clown!
Jeremy Grey: All right, I'm going to make you a bicycle. But I don't want to make you a bicycle.
Bratty Kid: Shut your mouth, funny guy, and make it.
Jeremy Grey: [later] Take that, you hyena, don't say thank you.

The resulting bicycle made of balloons is freakin' hilarious, it's HUGE, and all tied together with other balloons -- the expression on the kid's face is priceless as he walks away with his "creation"! ;D LOL

[Emily]

Patrick, what smartie! If I was 20 years younger, he would so be my boyfriend because I would tell him so.

Crossing my fingers for you!

[Emily]

That sound read Patrick, what A smartie! I wish I could do a do-over, with that comment and life in general just while we're at it.

[e]

My son specialises in deliberately terrorising balloon artists. He once asked for a slug and a mole in the same week. He is foul, and is old enough to know better.

[Julie]

"I don't think he knows it"... too charming for words. :-)

[may]

if crossing fingers really work, then i'm crossing mine for you.

[kathleen999]

Good luck! BTW, why can' they just let you ovulate 12 eggs? Does something bad happen?

I mean, with IVF we do make a whole bunch, so where is the problem? It's not like you are in fear of being pregnant with 12.

[winecat]

Oh Julia, Thank YOU.

I'm going through really nasty chemo and have been dreaming of a Patrick story to bring love and laughter to my day!

[Amy]

Patrick is a hoot!

Best of luck on the stims -- if finger crossing can help, then you've got some from me.

[Schnozz]

Patrick already kicks my ass at math.

You may think I just called your child a genius, but I did not. You've never seen me do math. What is this "four" everyone keeps talking about?

[Michelle]

LOL! Patrick is so adorable! My husband can barely do that much math in his head.

As for the Agenda, I hope this works for you! My specialist, in laying out a similar plan for me, said it's all a numbers game and this should speed it up. Speed is good.

And whoever suggested that Julie should certify the doctors is onto something...

[MamaChristy]

Patrick is so darling with all his letters and numbers. And I can't believe he was ready to pee in someone's garden! Too funny.

Good luck with the baby making. Hope that the 12 folicles don't show but that one (or two!) really pretty ones do.

[nicole]

I am just beginning with the fertility stuff - clomid cycles - and I just wanted to say - I admire your tenacity. Your determination and humor in the face of all these attempts is wonderfully inspiring. Thanks for sharing and the very best of luck to you!!

[wealhtheow]

Where do I sign up to get a kid just let Patrick?? That is the most adorable thing I've ever read. He is clearly a genius, Julia!

[Stephanie]

I totally whipped up the handy computer calculator to do the math in your title... yep, it's 4.

Just checking.

Fingers crossed here, too.

[Emily]

I've been through it too, and I'm hoping for the best. And though it might feel impossible, get as much rest and relaxation as you can. I know, a crazy thought, taking time for yourself, but it's worth a try anyway ...

[Nancy]

Hoping for a good shiny three or four follicles for you.

I just reread that and thought, "well, self, that's sort of weird wish" but I mean it sincerely.

[patricia]

That kid is something! I've never seen a kid ask for letters and numbers.

Good luck with the stims, which are always fun, fun, fun.

[CaerLiveSound]

I love Patrick! Perhaps he should have his own blog. And good luck to you!

[Candy]

I want a Patrick of my very own.

[LetterB]

Well, thank goodness he didn't ask for a BM. And it is exciting - wishing you very very very very good luck.

[carin]

I thought you said you were started Sims tonight as in the computer game. Then I read on and I was like. "What is all this stuff she's talking about." Then I re-read it and now I understand! I had a little laugh. Best of luck! I was an egg donor for my sister so I know the terms you speak of well.

[caro]

This protocol just sounds so wild west to me. I know "Isn't it exciting?" is a jaded rhetorical question, but it kind of IS exciting, isn't it? Does your doctor feel like some kind reproductive technology cowboy, do you think? Do you?

[julia]

a) VERY exciting.
b) Patrick is adorable, as usual, and
c) people still have balloon rustlers at their parties these days? I'd forgotten about that ... I have a lot to learn about throwing elaborate birthdays!

[Megan]

Not that I have a clue with the follicles and the injections and the etc., but good luck. Or if you're superstitious (or an actor) break a leg!

[Thora]

Good for Patrick - for his persistence in getting a number balloon.

And good for you - for your persistence in getting number two.

Best of luck.

[Karen]

Don't cancel the cycle! I hope you're wrong about the overproduction prediction for your IUI, but you don't have to cancel. If your RE is willing, he can aspirate however many eggs you DON'T want, and then do the insemination. It will probably raise the cost, but it will minimize your risk of a higher order multiple pg, which carries its own risks and costs.

HTH! Good luck! And I'm still working on that math problem!

[Psychobabble]

What a cutie!