Rhymes With Fanceled

Canceled.

Somehow the fact that I have been foretelling this for the past week serves only to irritate me. Well, no. What irritates me is that I was polite-passive-lame enough to issue but a mild protest before acquiescing when they declined my request to lower my dosage on Thursday, despite the presence of six evenly sized developing follicles with a few smaller one on each side. So when Saturday's ultrasound revealed, surprise, six mature follicles with two fast approaching runners-up and I kinda wanted to kick myself for not objecting more strenuously when there was an opportunity to do so. Then I wanted to kick my RE when the nurse made it clear that there was no record of my previous IVF drug responses in my chart, nor was there any indication as to why we were doing this in the first place, nor that the RE had agreed that we would be allowed to negotiate when we would cancel (within reason). The fact that nothing was recorded became damning when I discovered that my RE has been gone all week so the entire cycle has been directed by people with whom I have never met or spoken in my life. Thus the directions I have been following were based upon the notion that I am random 34 year-old female attempting to achieve pregnancy through her first superovulatory cycle as opposed to the doomed pregnancy veteran/daring balanced translocation turbo IUI pioneer that I am.

Which is ANNOYING.

When the nurse I met with after the ultrasound called to cancel me an hour after I left the clinic I asked to speak with an RE to see if:

1) 6 mature follicles are really that many under the circumstances [we were trying specifically for multiples after all]; and if so then

2) could we possibly aspirate a few of the mature follicles and then trigger; and if not

3) could we talk about converting to an IVF.

No, she said.

NO? I asked.

No, she said. No you cannot talk to an RE. No, no one here would even consider triggering with 6. No, you cannot convert to IVF. No, we cannot contemplate aspirating. No. And no. Also, canceled. Call us when you start a new cycle, goodbye. PS- no.

I hate her and I am only slightly consoled by the fact that she was wearing jeans folded up to mid-calf in an attempt to convey "funky cropped" but succeeded merely in shouting "basement flooded with sewage" (not that there is anything wrong with that. happens to the best of us, after all. the sewage I mean, not the pants. the twelve-inches-of-folded-wrong-side-of-the-denim-as-cuffs pants shouldn't happen to anyone.)

In the grand scheme of my reproductive failures this cancellation is a minor setback. An irritation. A bug bite. In the grand scheme of my week, however, it sucks the big one.

To buck me up Steve took me out last night for a nine course tasting dinner, paired. It was, in a word, transcendent. Shrimp dumplings in gazpacho with a light light pinot gris. Mussels in a saffron pasta with coconut cream and cilantro, matched with a nice Viognier. My god it was all so good. Then  we came home and he surprised me with a present so over the top, so extravagant, so ridiculous... the sort of thing that causes you to suck in your breath and say, "Oh Mr. ROCHESTER!" with eyes like twin stars. A nice piece of jewelry covers a multitude of sins, apparently. If you are that sort of girl. Which I absolutely am.            

In sum: I think the local clinic is not so much incompetent as they are completely indifferent but I also think that I knew this already and in the long run it does not matter which because incompetence and indifference can screw things up equally; I got canceled, damn it; Steve is a freaky mutant who is single-celledly preventing me from having children when I am not being  preemptively thwarted by an uncaring medical establishment, but he is a nice one.   

Comments

[Lyss]

Oh, balls. So sorry. Sucks a million ways to Sunday (today!)

['Nilla @ Vanilladreams]

That sucks. I can't believe the gall of that nurse. Oh wait, what am I saying, yes, I can. I have an intense dislike for almost all staff at clinics, except for our one Superstar Medical Associate.

Glad you got to enjoy some distractions, at least, your dinner and pressie sound lovely!

[EJW]

I disagree, I don't think the RE's office's actions are annoying. I find them completely unacceptable. You got poor medical care by people who took an oath against that very thing. Did they say why none of those alternatives were an option?

They're lucky that you are such a better person than me. I would have gone postal on them.

[Lisa C.]

I think they are the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked. Sorry.

[Jenn]

Well, since the IUI was cancelled, are you going to try on your own anyway?

And my mouth is watering thinking about that dinner.

[anony]

It does indeed suck & the nurse was vile.

I achieved this most recent pregnancy on a superovulation cycle where they wouldn't trigger me (4 mature & a couple of smaller). I, of course, ignored their 'better not have sex advice' (recurrent miscarrier with 30% normal fertilisation without ICSI, HOMs aren't on the cards for me) & OPK'd away until I ovulated.

Mutated as Steve's swimmers are they seem pretty good at getting the job done ... of course 6 is obviously more than 4 ... and everyone delights in telling me how irresponsible (maybe, but lucky too) I was.

[art-sweet]

That was my question: why not just, um, go au natural at this point and see what happens?

[julia]

Okay, I totally don't understand any of what happened, but I do understand that you are sad and annoyed, and I'm heartily sorry about that. I'm glad you have a nice freaky mutant to support you, though.

[Kim]

Personally, I think you should be calling their office first thing Monday and raising holy hell for all of the incompetencies. Nurses (and other medical professionals, for that matter) peeve me royally when they think they're God (had one of those nurses with my second son - ended up getting her fired for her incompetency!) Good luck - and the dinner and pressie sound wonderful (are you going to tell us what the pressie was????? =)

[Robin]

I LOVE jewelry. Some consolation, at least.

[Robin]

That read weird, not consolation. But something that is good outside of the other bad suckiness.

[Mir]

Gah. I'm sorry, Julia. And for the record, I didn't even wear my pants like that when I actually had a flooded basement. So. Wenchy McWencherson and her fugly pants can bite me.

[Coralie]

Oh, crap. I'm so sorry.

[Alexa]

Damn. Damn, damn, drat. I am so sorry. Your clinic sounds unconscionably awful. I am actually very curious about what clinic you use--I wonder if it is mine...
Anyway, I second/third the question about trying naturally this cycle--will you?

p.s.That tasting dinner sounds scrumptious. (Mussels+saffron+pasta) x viognier=delicious

[Menita]

Shit.
I'm very sorry.

[Brooklyn Girl]

That does indeed suck the big one. Why must REs--and their folded denim wearing staff--be so unwilling to think outside the box?

[SheilaC]

I'm very sorry. Hooray for Steve for his kindness. I hope Patrick does many amusing things to distract and encourage you both.

[Judy]

We get pictures of new windows, rugs, bedspreads, etc. but we don't get a photo of a nice new piece of jewelry? Are you fucking with us? If so, we don't deserve it, for JC's sake we need a big shiny distraction too. There's a heat wave and all kinds of wars breaking out to worry about!

BTW - I think you should fuck like rabbits, and then tell the RE "well there was nothing in the chart to say that we shouldn't fuck like rabits after you cancel us." I think fucking like rabits would be like doubling down on a pair of Jacks, only it would be more like tripleing down. And, given your past 6 chances really isn't THAT extreme. Ha sextuplets! I say bring it on baby!

[Paula]

So sorry. Jewelry rocks. As do you.

[Just Linda]

Dammit. Just plain dammit. :(

[Natalee]

Cancelled Cycled:Boo

Fabu din-din: Yea!

Shiny rare rock to compensate for said cancelled cycle: Oh HELL yeah!

Steve's a doll (well, except for his being a mutant and all)

So sorry, love. That sucks big, hairy donkey balls.

[MamaChristy]

Yes, tell those idiots off on Monday. In the nicest way possible, of course. Since someone didn't bother to put necessary information in your records - information that could have resulted in a fruitful cycle - well, I think you should get a discount. Does anyone discount that kind of stuff? Seriously, I know no one wants discount medical care, but when they f things up like this, I don't see why you should have to pay in full for their mistake...

[Leggy]

Ugh- I'm sorry. However, I'm with everyone else re: what about trying on your own?

[KathyH]

Yeah. I get the superovulatory part but I don't get the IUI part when you can get all the (mutant) sperm you want for free? Maybe I missed something in the discussion of RA 712.

[Leslie]

Not only was that shitty and the nurse vile, but they are WIMPS to boot! Most people I know are shooting for 6 to 10 follicles for a super-stim IUI cycle. You got cancelled at FOUR? Darling, you need to move back to civilization... SO sorry for this bummer round.

Jewelry, huh? Like "sweets for the sweet" you got "jewels for the [family] jewels!"

[sozzled]

Thought of you as I was driving to WI on Friday and thought. damn. I ought to be drinking w/ Julia, rather than driving to WI. This confirms it. I am in St Paul, with cash in hand, on Tuesday night. If you can drag your rock along (or leave it home for safe keeping) I'd love to commiserate over a glass or 12 of wine.

[bluestocking]

Well I think we know Steve - despite his messed up cells - is much nicer than Mr. Rochester. The man stepped up to the plate here, big time.

Sorry about the cancellation.

[Emily]

What a bitch! You should turn the internet on her! Your dinner sounds scrumptious.

[Boulder]

I think that the issue with attempting natural conception is that you may not release all of the eggs without a trigger shot, which I'm guessing the RE masquerading as a nurse won't dispense....

So, I can't quite tell if you called the holier than RE nurse to the mat and asked her where she'd gotten her MD, and just exactly who had made her the arbiter of your IUI's destiny, or not.

Bet that would have gotten mentioned in your file, though, so probably not worth the hassle in the long run. But it sure would have been great to read.

Jewelry is wonderful on ANY ocassion - particularly a fancel.

[kathleen999]

Maybe this is crazy, but couldn't you see another RE and get them to trigger you? 6 is not so many. We transferred 6 at IVF because of my age and also history of miscarriage, and voila! 2 healthy baby boys. Considering your stats of live baby vs. miscarriage, I would think 6 eggs is not a dangerous number at all.

[e]

As long as they can screen each of them individually without harming any of them that might be unaffected, then getting pregnant naturally would seem to be quite a good option, really. And chances are that those affected would die of their own accord anyway, no? The only major problem would be if they failed to die while still sufficiently small to be reabsorbed, which would be a horrible situation for you. I hope you are able to do the best thing for you.

[Heels]

1. Cropped jeans are an abomination.

2. I'm sorry you were fanceled.

3. For the boychild, in all its font-y glory:

http://www.bemboszoo.com/Bembo.swf

(He may not prefer the mixing of animals and fonts--GASP!--but it's sure cute.)

[Erin]

Damn it, how absolutely irresponsible of them! What the hell is wrong with them that they don't keep good records to track your past cycles? I would call and demand to speak to an RE; failing that, I'd go down there and demand to speak with an RE before you tell everyone in the waiting room how badly they fucked up your cycle. It's ridiculous that they could do nothing to salvage this cycle.

Steve is a sweetheart, no questions about it.

[Jenn]

Oh my god, all clinics are the same aren't they? Can you go nuts and demand to speak to the Dr.? I always thought that our office just relied on a certain amount of despair and fatigue to keep the patients from becoming too much trouble. Not that yelling ever got me anywhere, but it might be worth a try.

[LMM]

Sorry, and surprised, by the cancelled cycle. I triggered for an IUI cycle in December (at a clinic here in the TC, by the way) with 5 and no one batted an eye. It didn't work, of course, but I'm just saying.

And I must, MUST know where you had that dinner!

Keep trying on your own, of course. If the 6 were that close you (God, I almost said "conceivably" - HA) could end up with more than one egg anyway.

Crappy Clinic.

[Andi]

I am appalled at that nurse's lack of ... oh ... anything resembling a caring medical professional's attitude. Also, you need to stand up for yourself, girl. You don't ask *if* you can speak to an RE; you demand to have an RE call you back. You are entitled to speak with a doctor about this. RE's nurses may think they know everything, but they are quite often wrong (though they will rarely if ever admit it), and that's why they don't have the big M.D. after their names.

That said, I agree with the others who say go for it au naturel. Not all the follicles may release, but then again, maybe they will. That's why they usually caution people in your situation NOT to have sex. So, why not go for it?

[Toni]

Shit. Shit...Shit...shit...shit...

Sorry Julia...had to. This sucks. What sucks even worse is the attitude of that nurse. Can we all prank call her at the very least (and I can come up with other nasty things to do on the very most side!!).

But I do have to say YEAH for the jewelry.

[victoria]

Dang. I'm sorry about the cycle. But glad you got some nice bling.

[FishyGirl]

Oh, Julia, I'm so sorry. The cancelling sucks sideways. At least the mutant is a kind mutant who is trying to help. Jewelry? Wowza. I only got that when he called me the B word and I held out not speaking to him for a whole week. Yay, Steve!

[Pamplemousse]

Someone, somewhere must have a spare trigger shot just lying around??? Or just do the au natural thing? Either way, kick some RE butt...hard.

[Julie M]

I don't know nothing about nothing, but can't you just have sex on your own anyways when you get a cycle cancelled like this? Since you want to fertilize as many as possible anyways? Maybe it was too late, but, for future reference, can you do that?

I am sorry for your bad news.

[Thora]

I once (okay, maybe twice) tried to roll up my trousers to see if I could pull off the twelve-inches-of-folded-wrong-side-of-the-denim-as-cuffs pants, and I quickly realized that, no! No, I cannot pull that off the twelve-inches-of-folded-wrong-side-of-the-denim-as-cuffs pants, because no one can - it's an awfult attempt at diversifying your wardrobe.
Luckily, I realized this prior to leaving my house.

I'm pleased that your mutant husband is empathetic in times such as these.

[Amy]

Sorry about the cancellation, and the annoying nurse. Wishing you better luck next time!

[Leslie]

That sucks so badly! There is no way you should have to take no for an answer when you ask to speak to the RE. Sounds like time for a new clinic.

[runnerwoman]

Sorry about the cancellation. When I was cancelled mid-stim I never ovulated in the absence of the trigger shot. And not to rub fleur de sel in your wounds, but I triggered with 6+ follicles loads of times. We have dreadful male factor so it really wasn't that big a threat, but my RE never acted like it was that big of a deal.

[Crystal]

I'd call the bitch back and ask her when she decided to start practicing medicine without a license.

I don't care what she THINKS the doctors would or would not do. If she wants to call the shots, she needs to follow the law and get her M.D. Until then, you are the customer, you requested to speak to the person you hired to manage your cycle who happens to be one of those M.D. kind of folks, it is not her place to deny you.

I think when you see this doc you need to start asking how much of a refund you get for this botched cycle, and not being able to speak to him when the options you discussed were not conveyed to him by his nurse.

[akeeyu]

I'm just going to drag out all of my restraint and composure and the flawless etiquette that puts even Miss Manners to shame and say "Jesus, what a fucking bitch."

Did you ask her who died and made her Captain of the PMS Enterprise? Did you ask her if she got to keep her honorary title, BitchRa from the Planet Cunt, when she landed on Earth? Did you ask her if she wanted to step outside? Because seriously, I think you and your six follicles could have taken her.

[Lisa P]

Oh, yuck, Julia! So sorry you are hitting yet another bump in the proverbial reproductive road. You deserve better. Much better.

And, DUH! I hadn't even considering trying naturally until I read what others had commented. Sounds like a plan to me. You think?

Meanwhile, the dinner and the gift sound divine. A nice piece of jewelry can go a long way. :)

Take care!

[s@bd]

i lurv him too.

and trying not to hate dumb-asses ...

[Jill]

Ah, Kelly Ripa pants. Did she have heals on?

Sorry about the mess up. I'm thinking you may have to take a bigger part in your protocol?