Happy Birthday To Me

I am feeling much more optimistic about Rusty. Since I originally thought he would live forever and was then convinced that he was not going to survive to see November, the optimism is somewhat mixed but mostly good. After speaking with my actual vet (the fill-in vet at our clinic was the one who diagnosed him with renal failure) and getting emails from a veritable phalanx of digital vets, I am no longer damping him with my tears while holding mirrored compacts to his face to make sure he is still breathing. The diet transition has been a little rough and getting him to take a pill the size of my pinkie is a two-man-one-child job (I hold him, Steve doses him, Patrick hops around saying "Rusty is allllllllllllllllllllllllll better now") but I think we have it under control. For now. I mean, the parts we can control. He is eating fairly well and drinking enough, I hope, and he seems as happy to pursue his hobby of sleeping on the dishwasher as he ever was. We will bring him back into the vet next month to see if the new food and drugs are helping. If not we will change tactics. A lady never shows excess emotion in public, of course, but I will confess to being a complete mess in the privacy of my kitchen these past few days. I could not stop crying and kissing his ears, which he frankly dislikes. While Rusty is technically my step-cat (Steve rescued him from a fire escape a solid eight years before I entered the picture) I love him devotedly and am just not ready to say goodbye. He is the eldest and gentlest of our four cats, a wonderful personality. Even Jammy-the-Closet-Cat likes him, and she's crazy. So we will do what needs to be done and hope for more time with him. Thank you, by the way, for all the excellent advice and sympathy. You are all always so very kind.

Today is my birthday and despite a rocky start (Steve was unexpectedly called out of town for a meeting. he left today at 5am and he will not get back until midnight) it is turning out quite nicely. Patrick slept longer than I did this morning (always the sign of a five satellite day) and Steve left a note instructing me to take Patrick to preschool and then proceed immediately to the massage he had scheduled for me. It was great, once I stopped contemplating how very weird it is to have a complete stranger rub one with scented oils. Rather Late Rome, if you know what I mean. I have always thought that employing a prostitute would be so embarrassing, what with the odd juxtaposition of the intensely intimate with the purely commercial but perhaps not. My natural modesty fled when she started dealing with the knots in my neck and by the time she got down to the lower back I would have trotted happily after her stark naked if only she would do that thing with her knuckles again. Gosh it felt good.

Today is the big Halloween party at school and, per someone's suggestion here last year (last year! see how I treasure your input), Patrick went as the red letter A. He is wearing (or at least he was when I dropped him off) red sweatpants and a red turtleneck. We bought some shimmery red felt and Patrick traced two capital A's on the fabric that we then cut out together. A little glue to stick them to the front and back of the shirt, a little more glitter glue to jazz it up and... ta da! The letter A. He was SO PROUD of himself. (oh wait. I took a photo for my mom. here. a picture is worth at least 40 words. and, shamelessly ripping-off Greg from Geese Aplenty, NO I am not a professional photographer and NO I really do not have anything to suggest for the amateur looking to improve. the ability to take photographs is a gift, I suppose. you either have it or you do not). Last year I sent pumpkin bubble wands for the party but this year I succumbed to the inevitability of Sugar and I let him hand out wee packets of M&Ms.

I have not yet investigated his backpack but from the heft of it I am guessing that everyone else's mother went for the party pack size. I will have enough candy to last me for an eternity. Bwah ha ha ha ha. Candy. I just love its sweet sweet taste.

I meant to share some reflections upon this, the thirty-fifth anniversary of my birth, but I realized I have not learned all that much.

Let's see, the more expensive the wine the better it tastes. The moral here is: never try anything over $6 a bottle. That way you will never be disappointed, because you just won't know any better.

What else? I wouldn't be 22 again if my life depended upon it. If you are in your early twenties right now you only THINK you are happy, what with your YouTube and mole-like metabolism. In truth you are very very anxious and it only gets better as you age into indifference.

Personalized note cards are always a thoughtful gift.

It actually IS much easier to love a rich man than a poor one although apparently it is also then harder to get into the kingdom of heaven. You will have to decide for yourself about this conundrum.

A piece of bread can quickly degrease braising liquid.

Recurrent miscarriage is really difficult but it is better to suck it up and suffer in relative silence if you possibly can because no one is ever going to say anything to make it better anyway. And chances are, given the slightest opportunity, they will say something horrible and you will feel even worse.

Self-mockery is an art form. Sometimes the subtlety required eludes people. It is best to ignore them.

And a very happy birthday to you. I probably missed yours so consider it belated and then put another future happy birthday on account. From me.                                 

Comments

[Susan]

Happy birthday! I wish you had mentioned that thing about not trying the expensive wines a year ago. Because now it's too late for me.

But have a lovely day! And some lovely wine! I will, too.

[Christine]

May you have the very happiest of birthdays.

And that wine thing? Is true for massages, too. I sort of wish I had never gone down that path to relaxation.

[another anna]

Happy Birthday! And man, a good massage and an adorably-turtle-necked letter A sound like perfect birthday presents. I'm putting them on my list for next year.

[Lulu]

Right back atcha Julia. Happy day, and may you be surrounded by A-listers (Patrick at the top of that list, naturally) for your entire 35th year.

[Coralie]

Happy Birthday Julia! Wishing you the very best for the year to come.

[Reese]

Happy Birthday and oh my goodness Patrick looks great!

[Isabel]

Happy Happy Birthday. May you have many more. (oh, and f*ck the people who have horrible things to say)

XOXO

[Jb]

happy happy happy birthday. thanks for sharing the costume - love it!!

[mellie]

Delurking to say Happy Birthday! Many more, and may they become happier and happier as the years progress. I am happily eating a handful of candy corn in your honor. Make that two handfuls. Yum. Sugar Buzz.

[Robbi]

Happy birthday! I am impressed at how well your son did on his costume! How cute!

[Homeschool Mama]

Tha's a RED 'A', right? Not scarlet? Just wanted to be clear...
Happy birthday! I have always wanted a massage, but I'm terrified the bumpiness of my donut-shaped waist would make the chinese girl fall off when they do the foot shimmy thing.

[tundragirl]

Oh, so true:

"If you are in your early twenties right now you only THINK you are happy, what with your YouTube and mole-like metabolism. In truth you are very very anxious and it only gets better as you age into indifference."

That about says it all.

Cheers to you, Julia, as we age into further indifference!

[Moose]

Happy birthday! Your pearls of wisdom really are quite pearly. I can relate - especially about the anxious bit. And the rich man bit. Though I do have this to say: Loving one is all well and good until you finally do the math and realize that he makes 24.6 times as much as you do and you begin to feel somewhat worthless in the bank account department. Until he buys you some nice foie gras and you forget all about it.

(P.S. If anyone thinks Patrick is dressed as Hester Prynne, I would love to hear about it.)

[Lisa]

Happy Birthday! I hope it's a good one!

[libby]

Happy Happy Birthday, fellow Scorpio. I hope this year brings you your heart's desire.

[Heather B.]

What else? I wouldn't be 22 again if my life depended upon it. If you are in your early twenties right now you only THINK you are happy, what with your YouTube and mole-like metabolism. In truth you are very very anxious and it only gets better as you age into indifference.

THANK YOU!!!! I could kiss you right now for writing that!
And a most Happy Birthday to you!

[Catherine]

Happy Birthday!

(Love the red letter A!)

[lolismum]

Is that Rusty on top of the dishwasher? How sweet.

Happy B-day from another 35 year old (who wishes she at least had the body of a 22 year old, though not the wisdom).

[Barbara]

I remember 35........ oh the days.
Happy Birthday, Blog-Lady, Mother of SmartFunnyBoy and Partner to KitchenMan.
Thanks for your blog.

[Lisa V]

Happy Birthday!

And you need to get "it only gets better as you age into indifference" on a t-shirt to go with the "silent e".

[Sandy]

Happy Birthday Julia! May you have a wonderful year ahead, and many more wonderful memories to go along with it.

[KLynn]

Happy Birthday! And thank you for the birthday wishes for me...my 35th is exactly 1 week from today, so you are only one week older than me...does that make you feel old?...I thought not.

V. V. cute picture of Patrick.

Glad the kitty is doing ok, hope he continues to do well.

Jealous of the massage.

Now, go have a bottle of very expensive wine, and enjoy your birthday.

[Libby]

Happy Birthday Julia!

And I also thought about the Scarlett Letter when I saw Patrick's costume. He looks adorable!

[snickollet]

Happy birthday!

And happy Halloween.

[LMM]

How lovely that it's YOUR birthday and yet you gifted all of us with a new and pithy post.
May you have the happiest of birthdays and a wonderful coming year. By which I mean far more joy than sorrow - do you hear me cosmos???

[Paula]

Happy Birthday. Thank you for being you.

[Sara]

Some unsoliceted advice for making cat pill-popping easier: My ancient cat has to take pills, too, and rather than going through the traumatic two-man job of holding her down and prying her jaws apart to shove the thing down her throat, I either use a little pill plunger thing that pops it in so fast she doesn't know what's happening (you can get 'em at any of those petstore supermarkets). OR I crush it up with a little mortar and pestle and mix it with a little canned yummy food and she slurps it right down.

[Sara]

Some unsoliceted advice for making cat pill-popping easier: My ancient cat has to take pills, too, and rather than going through the traumatic two-man job of holding her down and prying her jaws apart to shove the thing down her throat, I either use a little pill plunger thing that pops it in so fast she doesn't know what's happening (you can get 'em at any of those petstore supermarkets). OR I crush it up with a little mortar and pestle and mix it with a little canned yummy food and she slurps it right down.

[Chookooloonks]

Many happy returns, m'dear. And wishing you very many more happy birthdays to come.

K.

[Jennifer]

Golly, but Patrick looks more like you every year. Thank you for a perfect post, Julia. You bring such fun and enthusiasm to this party and I will never tire of hearing your voice. Happy Birthday to you.

[Mir]

Look how wise you are, and at just a girlish 35. Imagine how brilliant you'll be at 50!

[nate]

He. is. adorable. It's nice to see what a cute *kid* he is, since when we get by on stories of his precociousness alone it's easy to forget that he's 4 and not, oh, 18. I have a zebra I could set him up with!

Happy Birthday! I'm glad to hear that Rusty is doing okay...

(But four cats? Yikes! On the other hand, I have 2 cats and a 90 lb dog, so I guess pound-for-pound of pets you're probably ahead of me.)

[Ellen]

Happy Birthday! Hope it is a great one. Glad to hear kitty is better (I have a 15 yr old yellow lab, so I know where you're coming from...)

[Jill]

Very cute A. We make lots of costumes out of sweats. They make fun pajamas afterwards.

Happy Birthday!

[Deb]

Hey ! It's my birthday today too! I am 5 yrs older baby!
Happy birthday to US! I got a massage too!

[Jessica]

Happy Birthday Julia!

[Nancy]

Many happy returns of the day! You're quite a wise one, as spring chickens go.

I love Patrick's "A." I almost wish you would teach him the "Y.M.C.A." song so he could figure out how to make a full-body alphabet.

[Leggy]

Happy Birthday Julia. I totally would never want to be 22 again- if only because I can't imagine having to relive the last 13 years. And you are right, rarely do people IRL say anything helpful when it comes to sucky things.

[Kim]

Oh my god. Happy, Happy Birthday.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your lessons learned. I am a miserable old infertile hermit, and your post today made me chuckle out loud!

Patrick is just stunning, in so many ways, your kitchen is fabulous, and your blog is simply not to be missed.

[erika]

Happy birthday! I just celebrated my 35th, too. I hope Randy takes to the new diet.

[MomVee]

Many happy returns of the day.

[kimberly/Tippy Toes]

Happy birthday! I'm 35 too, so we were probably in the same class/year at school. Even though I've been out of school for a long time, when I her someone's age (close to mine - I don't do this for 80 year olds) I always think of what class they were in, in relation to mine.

I hope the diet does Rusty well!

[kati]

Happy Birthday!

[Natalee]

I will gladly accept your belated 29th birthday wishes to me (Mine was Thurs. the 26th), and send you my most heartfelt good wishes for your 35th. I'll be there 6 years, and it's not the scary prospect it once was (perhaps because my life flies by ever faster?).

Happy Birthday, my fellow Scorpio!

Drink the good wine tonight!

[Pam L]

I toast you with my cheap, because it's homemade, wine. I've felt the fool at times for paying too much for a wine and not liking it as much as a good Penfolds Shiraz at $9 a bottle. But, no more. We are currently aging a Cabernet that we are told will taste like a $30 wine. It already tastes good to me. And I agree wholeheartedly about aging and growing indifference. Wait until you are my age and you REALLY don't care what most people think. I would never want to be 20 again, too much angst and drama, which is way to tiring for me. Happy 35th. It just gets better from here.

[FishyGirl]

Happy Birthday, Julia. Today is also my grandfather's birthday, and his belief is that "Age is an attitude." He began counting backwards when he turned 60, so now he is a whopping 38, or so he says.

Many happy returns!

[Lisa B]

Beautiful boy, beautiful kitchen, fine taste in wine, basking in the glow of a good massage - mmm, sounds like a nice birthday, even sans Steve. Many happy returns of the day, and may your coming year be glorious.

[Flicka]

Happy Birthday! I'd sing the monkey song but I don't know what you look like and anyway your kitchen is way too clean and produces far too many tasty-sounding treats for you to be a monkey. Also: I lust after your fridge.

I'm glad you were able to have a wonderful massage. Patrick's costume looks divine; perfect for him. I hope both of you enjoy the candy. :-)

[terri c]

Happy Birthday to you, and Patrick looks awesome.

[Kim]

Happy Birthday. I hope this coming year brings you all that you desire.

Also - Patrick is so adorable. I mean, really. That is one handsome kid!