Smarch

For someone who does not get migraines I seem to be getting a lot of migraines.

Yesterday Patrick and I were reading Where the Sidewalk Ends while I tried to ignore the fact that I was having trouble focusing. I was not in pain, exactly, but my vision was all squidgy. Hard to explain but it was a weird combination of blurry, nauseating and pressured. Next thing I knew I was curled in the fetal position with a towel wrapped around my head in the darkest room in the house- our closet.

"Are you ok?" Steve asked from the doorway.

Uhhhhhhhhhh.

I guess I should see a doctor about it but what do I say? Once every two years or so I get a headache so crippling I am unable to move for ten hours but more recently my eyes have starting acting funny? It just doesn't sound like a medical emergency to me. On the other hand it would've been nice to have something in the medicine chest stronger than baby aspirin. Opium maybe. Or, well, opium.

See. I'll go into my primary care physician complaining about my so-called migraines and making vague references to opiates and his eyes will narrow and he will mark Abusing Con Artist on my chart. I just know it.

Speaking of medicine and bodies and whatnot... WHERE IS MY DAMNED PERIOD?

Unbelievable. All I needed was one normal cycle before starting the pill and then Lupron if we are going to do IVF next month and----- nothing. Not a hint. Nary a whisper. And I am entering 35+ days over here. NOT NORMAL FOR ME. I know I am not pregnant because we used, literally and concurrently, three forms of birth control all month. I was determined, you see, not to screw things up with my devil-may-care irrepressible sexuality. We are supposed to go for our big administrative appointment next Monday (the one in which we pay them. oh and sign the forms that indicate our desire upon death to leave any embryos still extant to Julie. for her adorable craft projects) but prior to that I need Day 3 blood work. Which means, you see, that I need to have a Day 3. So if you carry the 6 and divide by 72 you can see that I needed to start my period, like, yesterday.    

I feel cursed.   

Although

Patrick has been charming lately. He has started coloring pictures of things (as opposed to writing letters or words) and he builds free-form Lego structures (as opposed to meticulously following the enclosed diagrams). I always assumed he would get around to this stuff eventually but I confess it is nice to see him being all cute and boyish with his lopsided crayon cars and funny-looking green people. He learned how to do multiple-digit addition last week (thusly: "Mommy, what happens to the eleven when you add these two numbers?" "Oh, you just carry over the ten. Like this. See? And then you keep adding." Long pause while he studied the numbers. "Got it." And he did) so now the quickest way to get him to shut up is to write the longest problem you can fit on a page and hand it to him. We went out to dinner on Friday night and one equation saw us all the way through the appetizers.

He has concluded that everything has an easy and absolute answer, mathematical or otherwise- not that he expects Steve nor I to be remotely familiar with any of them.

On cosmology:

"The earth is going farther and farther, faster and faster away from the start of the universe. To the east."

On literature and entertainment:

"Rhyming is harder than not rhyming but it should just be a song if you are going to do it."

On relationships:

"Mommies are better to cuddle with than daddies." When challenged on this: "Because mommies have long hair and they cuddle better." When asked repeatedly by Steve for an "I love you" as he left Patrick and I enjoying a quick bedtime cuddle: "Goodnight." Anything else? "Yes. Close the door."

He has an imaginary... well, an imaginary cat actually. Which is odd because we have four cats already, but this one is named Sassy. She was born in 1987. And she talks. And can drive. And dress herself. And she frequently makes guest appearances on an imaginary television show Patrick likes to talk about called "Kelvin & Friends". Tonight at bedtime Patrick told me about an episode of Kelvin & Friends in which Kelvin found an atom but before he could bring out his special microscope the wind blew the atom away. And then Sassy came and started dancing. Then the wind blew the atom back just as Kelvin got the microscope set up.

He waited.

"And then what happened?" I asked.

"That was the funny part," he told me, coldly.

"OK," I said.

"You are supposed to laugh."

"Oh, right. Ha ha ha ha," I offered.

"I need to get better laughing for Kelvin & Friends," Patrick complained.

Just in case you have ever wondered who thought the laugh track was a good idea? Patrick. That's who.    

Comments

[Lisa]

Kelvin and Friends... ha ha ha! I could be Patrick's laugh track. I will cross my fingers that your wayward menses get back on schedule posthaste. Always love to hear what is going on with you and your family!

[Joanne]

I use to get migraines a lot when I was a teen and then I had a little spate of them last year. Mine are always accompanied by visual auras (the weird squiggles). Excedrin Migraine actually works for me although mine are typically aura heavy and not too painful. But they can be tied to hormonal stuff so maybe the migraine and the non-period are related?
If you have more I would definitely mention it to your doctor.

[Dana]

Hi, I've been lurking for a while and really enjoying the tales of Patrick.
I know you didn't ask for advice re migraine so it's impolite of me to offer some, but you don't have to read it . . .
Just wanted to let you know that there are really good drugs called "triptans" for migraine. They aren't opiates or even painkillers, they just stop migraines, so your doctor won't think you're drug-seeking. Your 10 hour towel-wrapped head in closet experience could become, say, a 2 hour experience. These pills are expensive, but isn't it worth $20 to get those 8 hours back?

Best triptan alternatives (in my, 23 years of experience as a migraineur, sounds so je ne sais quoi): when you first notice the squiggyness, nausea, etc., take either (a) two advil and a cup of coffee, or (b) one excedrin (which is basically tylenol + caffeine) and one aspirin. Maybe take a Gravol too (dimenhydrinate, the stuff for car sickness, don't know what it's called in USA), and go to bed with a dark wet towel over your head.

[Binky]

I was going to offer some assvice on your migraines, but Dana actually posted some helpful information, so I'll just say I hope it gets better AND your son is a friggin' prodigy.

[~M]

Your son uses a laugh track for his imaginary show! That's the cutest thing EVER! What you share about your son is priceless! He is absolutely perfect.

Good luck starting your period yesterday!

[theotherbear]

My only other additional migraine advice is to take something as soon as you feel the aura (weird squiggly thing)because shortly after that for some reason I gather your stomach stops digesting. It's why they all say to take medication as soon as you feel it coming on.

Good luck with the hormone thing.

Patrick sounds very smart!

[Kim]

You should definitely be seen. Just to be on the safe side. Your MD will probably want to do a CT scan, if you've not had one, just to rule out anything else. Not to be all scary or anything. But don't mess around with these kinds of headaches, if they are coming more frequently. And plus, he can indeed get you the good drugs.

(Although, I can't take triptans - they make me sicker. But Stadol is fabulous for knocking out a big migraine...)

Patrick sounds adorable, as always!

[ls]

Must chime in on migraines, as I get 6-8 per MONTH and swear by the above-mentioned drugs. Your dr shuold have samples s/he can give you for free. Many dr's simply do not take migraine seriously, think it is "just a bad headache" or think it is some emotional problem you might have. Ask for the drugs by brand name: Imitrex, Zomig, Axert, Relpax. Keep them at home or in your car, always. Take half of one as soon as you feel weird. Do not wait to "see if it becomes a migraine." You can keep bubble-pack pills past thier expiration date just fine. The drugs should not even take 2 hours to work, m ore like 30 minutes. There is a nasal spray (Zomig) which takes about 10 minutes. Break the pills in half and take more if it doesn't go away. You might have to be quite assertive with your dr to get the drugs you need. They are incredibly expensive, so directly ask for samples. B/c they cost so much, dr's have tons of samples in their closets. I now buy mine in bulk from Canada, via India, at a huge savings: 30 pills for 80.00. I wish you the best, and hope it never happens again!!

[KLynn]

Just to jump in. I never had migraines. Never had any real bad headaches. Until I stared on one particular kind of birth control pill. Then I got debilitating migraines about once a month. The doc put me on all kinds of allergy meds (thinking it was sinus related), but none made a big difference. Then he changed my bcp's. No more migraines. May not be your problem, but it's something to think about. Patrick is amazing and adorable. Hope ol AF shows up soon, so you can get on with the business of getting on.

[tiffany]

Oh my god Nicolaus was right about cats! I can't believe I doubted him...
http://www.electricboogaloo.net/wordpress/archives/2005/03/24/i-have-hands/

Ohhhh your kid is awesome. Nicolaus would think Patrick's microscope sitcom was hilarious. Unless of course it involved improper treatment of a microscope.

Migraines are horrible. Great advice above... also, try taking excedrin + drinking a cold caffeinated drink as SOON as your vision goes wonky. Caffeine is supposed to open up the blood vessels to your brain and other science medical-sounding things. If you can, go lay down in the dark and force yourself to sleep ASAP.

[Kristine]

Every time I read a Patrick story I think "I hope my son grows up to be just like him." He's precious.

Hope you find a solution to the migraines.

[Woody's Girl]

Patrick is utterly amazing. I want to be just like him when I grow up. LOL

Sorry to hear about the migraines. Hope the above-offered advice brings you some relief.

And hey... maybe AF DID start yesterday, but it's, like, invisible? It could happen...

[Naomi]

My three-year-old has an imaginary other mother that she talks about incessantly. This started at least six months ago now and the novelty of having a whole separate family that she can tell us stories about has not palled in the slightest.

And Julia? Go pee on a stick! You tell us about the three forms of simultaneous contraception, but until you confirm the single line on the pee-stick, I for one am convinced you're knocked up anyway.

[Lydia]

"Just relax and go on vacation."

No, really.

The big ugly truth is that relaxing and going on vacation doesn't result in a pregnancy -- vacation is the perfect time for your period to show. :)

Seriously............ Maybe the headache is a sign that your period is on its way, and it ain't messin' around when it gets here.

Good luck. XOXO :)

[elaina]

Patrick is just too damn funny! Thanks for sharing some laughs with the rest of us. :)

About migraines, I'll add some opposing advice. Be careful with triptans. They can cause rebound headaches. I'm on Maxalt MLT (a triptan) and it works great if I catch a migraine early and only take one pill. I got in a bad cycle in January with rebound headaches and some Fiorinal helped me come back in touch with reality.

Anywhoo.... hope your body figures out what the hell it is supposed to do soon!

[Beth]

Great advice above. I'll add that if your doctor is skeptical, go to a different one.

I love the Patrick stories. Continued best wishes for a normal cycle now, soon, yesterday etc.

[Jyllian]

I love Patrick stories.
Our Bean has an imaginary cat too. We have four non imaginary cats, but she needed a small green cat that could ride around in her pocket and giggle a lot.

I'd like an imaginary cat too, they look like fun.

[jessica]

Patrick is an amazingly brilliant child.

:)

[FishyGirl]

My husband said that Patrick sounds like a kid he not only wishes our kids would hang out with, but that HE wants to hang out with. Amazing, brilliant, funny, charming child you have there, J.

The migraine thing sucks - I get them the worst when I am pregnant, and the last one had me in the closet in the dark at least monthly, since I can't take any of the wonderful drugs described above due to a heart problem and an allergy. If you can, run, don't walk, to the doctor and get some of those bad boys.

[Caroline]

Go to the Dr. about your headaches. If he/she is not helpful, see another. There are plenty of options out there for migraines that can keep you from suffering. I also take Maxalt MLT and it works. I am certain your physician will want get at least an MRI to rule out something serious. Please go to the Dr.

[Christine]

Migraines are a favorite subject of mine, since I've been getting them since I was, oh, about 5.

I personally have never had a doctor blow it off. It's debilitating pain, they're fairly common, and the new classes of drugs rock. I take Maxalt (a triptan), but from talking to other sufferers, it doesn't seem like there's one solution for every person. Excedrin does nothing for me; neither does tylenol. Ibuprofen can work, but only at a dose of 1000+ mg at a time.

I'd talk to your doctor and keep something in your medicine cabinet. Also, they make these cool ice hat things that look foolish but are really helpful if you're in a position to get some sleep.

[Natalee]

Is Sassy in any way related to Toonces the Driving Cat? Because that cat? Hilarous.

Also, at 4 my nephew had an imaginary friend named Gelfin who was black and white checked with dark tomato red hair and a green shirt and yellow pants. Quite the vivid picture!

[Jennifer]

I second(triple, quadruple?) the motion to go to your doc to get checked out for the migraines (which is what they are since you are getting the auras) and get the obvious stuff checked out. Can't hurt, and my experience is that docs are becoming more educated about them. Then find the right drugs. Excedrin Migraine actually does the trick for me, but my mom, who has had these ever since I can remember, swears by a frozen snickers (protein and chocolate) and a coke (again the caffeine)and Excedrin. She has had to resort to the injectible drugs, but won't give a shot to herself (Oy. If she only knew). You do need to watch out for the rebound headaches, even off of Excedrin.

As for Patrick-God, I love that kid. I really hope that Son finds a friend or two like that someday. He opens up the doorway into an entire new world. Just pray that Sassy and Toonces never meet up....

[anne nahm]

Lousy Smarch Migraines. Hope you feel better soon. Patrick should have his own tv show.

[elise]

Re: Headaches

Chiropractor?

[Mandy]

I really love the Patrick stories. :)

[dianalyzer]

Migraines - yes, see Doc. Also, start with OTC drugs 1st. Medicate as soon as the 1st sign (mine are: auras, mild dizziness, neck stiffness or excessive drowsiness). Do not wait for the headache.

Thanks for the Patrick stories & good luck.

[Sally]

Thank god Sassy showed up and started dancing, because the imaginary audience would've just had to sit there and watch Kelvin look for his damn atom all day, and then they'd lose interest, and switch to another imaginary show, and soon Kevin and Friends would be cancelled by the imaginary network. Sassy might get a spinoff show, though it probably wouldn't work out for long because damn, the cat's like 20!

[Spacemom]

Uh, migraines. I found some weird things trigger them. Like generic medicines from Target...Weird

I am all for imetrex. Great stuff.

Good luck with the free form...

[Linda]

I've had migraines since I was 2 years old...really! Imitrex saved me. I could spend DAYS in bed with a mask on not moving but now when I feel one comming on I take one 50mg and if that hasn't fixed me within an hour I take another. It has some side effects, but they beat the hell out of the headaches. The first couple of months I took it I had to go to bed anyway because the medication made me woozy (again woozy and in bed is better than wanting to kill myself from pain and in bed), but now I can do anything...drive, whatever and other than feeling a little "dull" and some weird tingeling in my fingers from hot water I feel fine.

My migraines are almost alyways hormone related since I had kids. I get one the week before my period and one the week after. Maybe you're getting them now because your cycle is in flux.

Skip the OTC stuff and ask your Dr. for some samples.

[Linda]

Also, not everyone gets auras. In 35 years of headaches....1000's of them, I've had auras twice. They were kind of cool blinky lights in lots of pretty colors. I kind of envy people who get them. :)

[SarahD]

How lucky Patrick is to have Sassy to himself. Nothing beats a driving cat. I miss Toonces!

With migraines, I usually follow the same course of action as Dana. I recently also went to get a prescription for the ones that don't go away with caffeine and ibuprofen. Because there are accompanying neurological symptoms for mine, she recommended Midrin, which unlike the others, is not a vasoconstrictor.

Just had a blinding one like that myself the other day, and those particular brands are rare for me. I knew it was coming because I suddenly started slurring my words, but the drugs were too late.

If you're late this month, I'd say the two are definitely related. Something's off kilter.

Also, re: getting checked out--most doctors do recommend CT scans for migraineurs, but I have to wonder if that's ever truly called for in someone who has had them regularly (even 2x a year). Just seems like unnecessary expense. There is still so little they know about true migraines, other than being able to list symptoms, and a CT will only help if you have a clot...which you don't.

[Lynn]

Visual disturbances are very typical of true migraines. For alot of folks the swelling in the brain compresses the optic nerve. My husband loses his vision completely for short periods during his migraines. There are many things neurologists can do besides prescribe opiates. So sorry you're dealing with something so miserable!

[Linda]

Sorry to keep posting but just wanted to say that SarahD is correct in that your Dr is going to recommend a CT. He doesn't want to get sued if you have a clot or an an aneurysm (although millions of people get migraines and almost none of them have these) My migraines almost always involve pain in the same place directly behind my right eye in addition to all the other "true" migraine symptoms, but Ive never had a CT and the drugs work great. I try not to think about it too much. Probably not the best coping tactic but oh well.

[Genevieve]

Apart from getting yourself to a doctor (your internist or a neurologist) for the migraines, get thee to a drugstore (or drugstore.com, since not all drugstores carry this) for WellPatch adhesive cold packs. They are mentholated and stick to the back of your neck, or your forehead, with adhesive, and it's like wearing an icepack, but hidden under your hair (in my case, on the back of my neck). These plus meds (Relpax or Amerge, both triptans) let me get on with what I'm doing, for all but the worst migraines.

I don't know why they don't get more publicity, since they're a great non-drug method that helps with migraines.

Hope you don't have another one soon -- but get the medicine so you have it if one does hit.

Re someone above asking "Chiropractor?", I will say that I was very skeptical of chiropractors, but since my migraines have increased in the last couple years to intolerably often (several per week), I decided to give it a shot. I've been seeing a chiropractor now for several weeks and the frequency and intensity of the migraines is WAY down.

[Kristin]

"I guess I should see a doctor about it but what do I say? Once every two years or so I get a headache so crippling I am unable to move for ten hours but more recently my eyes have starting acting funny? It just doesn't sound like a medical emergency to me. On the other hand it would've been nice to have something in the medicine chest stronger than baby aspirin."

There ya go. =) I've also hesitated to go ask anybody about my occasional migraines. (That is, I assume they're migraines because they act like my sister's and mother's migraines, just less often and less badly.) I feel like the time when I really NEED to see somebody isn't when I can get an appointment. It's when I'm, say, hiding from all things flourescent and unable to see out my left eye. But, you know, that's not really a good time to drive to the doctor's office. But I've also read an interesting set of tidbits that basically confirms my "I think these are migraines." That think I used to think was a tension headache? Or sinus headache? Turns out migraines can start that way, by triggering (and being triggered by?) the same mechanisms. My tension headaches are really the killers - the classic pain with nausea and sensititivy to light. It's the "too much flourescent light" ones that are strange: aura, followed by only very mild pain, but pain that doesn't go away and goes along with feeling like I've been generally knocked flat by a big truck. Being aware of my particular triggers has helped: tension, dehydration, flourescent lights and computer monitors with nasty little wobbles in them.... Menstrual cycle is important for some people (possibly you, from what you describe?), but not apparently for me. Who can tell.

My point (and I do have one) is that I sympathize with the hesitation to go see the nice doctor for the nice drugs...but I'd say you're entitled. If you can collect evidence of what triggers you, that might help the doc know what's up, and help you nip them in the bud. (Me, as soon as I see the wobble in the corner of my eye, I know it's time to step AWAY from that particulr computer in the faculty room. If I do it fast enough - which is hard, because I don't always realze that the eyeball effect is more than a momentary dazzle from the light, if you see what I mean, until it's too late - if I do it fast enough, I can generally get by). And if nothing else, at least you have the nice pills on hand for when the next one hits, whether it's tomorrow or six months from now!

And Patrick? He makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and I mean that in a completely good way. It's fabulous that you're writing this stuff down. He reminds me of a character in a novel series I love, whose ex-boss once comments, "It was a terror and a privilege to command him." If he makes me, the reader, smile and shake my head in awe, I can only imagine what a breathless joy it must be to be his mother. =)

Hmm. Strange dazzly effect in my right eye. Best be going now. (I just had to go back and put the "i" in "going," which was a challenge, because I couldn't actually see it on the keyboard. Funky. And quite apropos, if also annoying....) Good luck with your head!

[mercybuttercup]

I had an optical migraine (which is what they apparently call it when you have all the other symptoms but not nec. the headache) for seven straight months 8 years ago. I mean, continuously. Turned out to be an allergic reaction to allergy shots. Which my allergist claimed was impossible, but when we stopped them the migraines vanished in 2 days and other allergists have since told me it's certainly possible, so I'm guessing he didn't want to get sued. Anyway, Imitrex helped somewhat, but what mostly helped was figuring out what I did differently before it started, no matter how unlikely, and never doing that thing again.

That frozen-Snickers-and-Coke cure sounds deeeelicious, though.

Count me in on the Patrick fan club. My son is only two-and-a-half so obviously not at his level yet, but Patrick reminds me of him anyway. The him of the future.

[Elin]

I remember my first migraine...aura, slurring words, couldn't put a sentence together. I thought I was stroking out.

Turns out an aggravated back injury combined with stress was my trigger. Muscles spasmed in my back and neck, pressure worked its way to my head, and the migraine was born.

The best advice above is yes, go see your doc, and no, not all will work for you. For example, Imitrex did nothing for my pain....still had a migraine and felt hung over at the same time.

I did find that chiro adjustments in combination with Excedrin Migraine (and a wedding cake martini or two) helped in my particular case. I can keep the 'graines at bay by staying well adjusted...

...but, since I'm not a particularly well-adjusted person to begin with, it's a challenge!

[LucyArin]

OMG, your kid kills me. Almost makes me want one. Almost.

You know you're raising a philosopher, right?
'K, then.

Thank you so much for sharing him with the world.

[victoria]

OMG Patrick *is* rainbows and lollipops and kittens. What a great kid.

[PM]

Another vote for Imitrex. One pill, taken at first sign of visual disturbances, or shortly thereafter, really does the trick. Triggers for me are low blood sugar (i.e. missing a meal), and flashing sunlight. Some other common triggers are red wine, aged cheese, chocolate.

Good luck!

[Meredith]

To second KLynn's comment a while back: if you are on a birth control pill, that may be the cause of a sudden increase in migraines. I've only had migraines when on the pill or pregnant - there's a well-known connection between estrogen and migraines.

[Jb]

excedrin migraine - although I am sure someone else must have mentioned it - I tried the heavy duty perscription only stuff & hated it. excedrin migraine is good stuff.

take care

[Jb]

oh, I hated imitrex - made me feel like I was about to pass out - but a good friend raved about it - tried it once & went back to excedrin.

[Jessica]

They sound at least somewhat hormonally-related to me. When I was on a particular BCP, I had a low-level migraine for literally two weeks. I switched brands, and now I'm back to my two or three times a year. PS: Linda -- I also get the pain behind my eye, so you're not alone. (Though mine is my right eye.) I've only had the auras a couple of times, though.

Migraines are the worst, but they're not uncommon and once you learn to recognize them coming on, you can deal with them.

[rachel]

I've had what you get - they're called "optic migraines". I'm sure 8 zillion other commenters said this, but Imitrex helps me with migraines if I take it when they first start. I have always been given good drugs (Ultram is my current one) in addition to the Imitrex, which (usually) stops the migraine.

I'd say go to the Primary Care and say you're having optic migraines. They'll give you the drugs. migraines are horrible. I currently have chronic pain from fibromyalgia & arthritis (& something as yet unknown! yay! I'm interesting!), and for pure bursts of pain NOTHING has beaten migraines.

[Audrey]

OMG, Patrick is priceless....I swear you've got a tiny scientist on your hands!

[WendyP]

I'm probably #40 here with migraines. My "triggers" include eating too early or too late, sleeping too much or too little, hormones, the weather...pretty much being alive and walking around. Your doctor won't blow you off, these things suck. Let's all raise our cool wet washcloths (feebly) in salute to better living through chemistry! Excedrin, Imitrex, and the occasional Vicodin work for me.

[mare_imbrium]

This is off-topic, I guess, but I was wondering what your Patrick thinks of St. Patrick's Day (if anything). My Patrick is a year younger than your Patrick and I was telling him about it yesterday and he was very excited: "'Patrick's Day?' You mean ME?!?" And he wanted to know about all the things one does on (St) Patrick's Day. I tried to think of other ones besides getting drunk, since he can't participate in that one.

[Laurie]

My uneducated yet utterly convinced guess is that they are related to the fact your period should have been yesterday. I occasionally get migraines. Always 24-48 hours before my period starts, without fail. They last approx 10 hours. Advil, normally the only thing I ever use for any pain - fails utterly, even when I take 3 instead of my usual dose of 1. Chamomile tea, oddly enough, helps slightly. It boosts me to the point where I can lie in bed rather than under it.
Personally, if it's that infrequent, I wouldn't worry about it, although from a strictly "better safe than sorry" standpoint I see the value of the advice above to get thee to dr. for cat scan.