Chatty

Steve, Patrick and I were sitting around the dining room table yesterday doing an I SPY super-challenger book that, incidentally, is as hard as the blazes. You are familiar with the I SPY line of products? Lovely but strange photographs of lots and lots of things accompanied by vaguely creepy rhymes; the point being to locate the items mentioned in the verse. I cannot put my finger on why these books are unsettling but they are. Sort of like the sing-songy child's voice lilting through a haunted house. But my fear of the things is not the point, the point is Patrick likes them and the three of us had spent about ten minutes looking for the mousetrap in the photo.

Finally Patrick says, "Oh! I see it!"

"Where?" asks Steve.

"Right there," Patrick points.

Steve says, "Patrick, that is a croquet mallet."

"Yes," said Patrick, "but you could hit the mouse with it."

Worked for us. We moved on to "a sailor".

+++

Patrick was at school when I wrote that last post and I was somewhat, well, surprised to discover when Steve brought him home that he has a big scape on his cheek that he had not had at breakfast. When I questioned Patrick about it he was evasive; first, trying the old "What scrape?" defense before asserting "I picked up a knife and I stabbed myself in the face with it." He was obviously embarrassed about something and over the course of the day my technique of subtle questioning finally elicited the facts. He and Thuggo had been playing light sabers (Patrick, never having seen Star Wars or any related merchandising, calls these light savers) on the playground with sticks (verboten!) and Patrick parried when he should have thrust thus sustaining a hit, a very palpable hit. Then they both got in trouble as is right and proper, seeing as how they were both playing "whacking around with sticks" on the playground. As far as I can tell Patrick had never actually gotten in trouble at school; hence his acute embarrassment and desire to cover-up the whole incident as quickly as possible.

If you ask me how I feel, in general, about Patrick getting hit in the face with a stick I would say: bad.

If you ask me how I feel about Patrick getting hit in the face during the course of rowdy play with another kid (no doubt while laughing his fool head off and enjoying being a little naughty) I have to admit: pretty good.

All of which is to say... um... I don't want my kid being a victim but I am ok with him as a partner in crime? That doesn't seem to quite nail it... I'll need to work on the moral and get back to you.

This being, however, the very last day of preschool (big sigh) it is also all in the past. Next year Patrick will be attending an out-of-district school and he will have a whole new crop of children by whom to be led astray, bless his little heart.

Hey! I didn't tell you about the kindergarten did I?

We had a decided to go with a nearby school that has multi-age classrooms (kindergarten and first graders together), the only problem being that Patrick had to lottery into it. So I bit my nails for a couple of months and was quite relieved when they found a place for him. One of the things I really like about the school was that they transition the kindergartens to full-day throughout the year based upon each child's abilities. Not academic abilities, but their physical readiness to be there all day. So they look at the kid's willingness to separate and capacity for taking care of their own things and attention span and whatnot. It seems like such a kind and reasonable way to help ease kids into school that I was pleased. Especially with Little Lord OnlyChild's zipperphobia raging away over here.

And they also try to put each kid into the reading and math group that best suits their abilities in the specific unit. I, for example, would be placed with the other moderately competent people in Calculus, but would quickly be back in a slower-paced group when we worked on counting or god forbid fractions. I am hopeful that Patrick will do very well in this sort of environment, as they seem to have everything in place to meet a variety of different skill sets.

Knock wood, but I am happy and optimistic that next year will be good for him.

Speaking of happy and optimistic I cannot believe I am about to say this about a pregnancy of mine but I am. Both. Happy and optimistic. I could attribute it to a mystical sense of rightness or a Murphy-esque law that mandates that the moment I got my very first paying writing deal with the only caveat being to just NOT stay pregnant (a state I would have sworn I could accomplish standing on my head) I would actually stay pregnant (I actually have no idea what REDBOOK will do with me if this works out. I am guessing they will tactfully release me, perhaps reminding me that I am anxious to pursue other opportunities but that I have no hard feelings. maybe we should start a letter-writing campaign to save me); but really I think it is just my willingness to follow a logical path at the moment. We transferred what we believe to be two genetically normal embryos. We have no clear reason to believe that we have any issues outside of genetics. The only information available to us so far (the initial hcg levels) seem normal. Therefore, why not assume everything IS normal. Until, of course, we get further news to the contrary. 

And how are you?

PS REDBOOK post up.

Comments

[Sally]

Great, thanks.
I'm so happy things are going well and I wholeheartedly agree with your "why assume anything is wrong when all signs are great" philosophy. You're a plucky one, Julia, and I spit along with you (thwa-pooey) in the face of the "god of what's gone down before". I think his name is Roy. If you're superstitious, then by all means take this virtual paper towel and dab Roy's face while mumbling an apology on my behalf.

[Paula]

Thinking of you and smiling.

[Barbara]

You write so well; when you end up staying pregnant they'll keep you on to write about other things.
It's a pleasure to read your work.
Happy for you :)

[Danielle]

You know, I gotta say, having followed your website now for a little over three years, something about this time feels different to ME, too! Is that weird? I don't know. Just gotta good feeling about it.

;)

[Marsha]

Heh, we have "light savers" here, too.

I am perfectly prepared to assume that everything is normal, so count me in.

[DG]

Go, go. And your Patrick sounds so much like my son, the croquet mallet incident - priceless!

[Aurelia]

I think you are perfectly justified in feeling happy and optimistic. And really, Redbook has to know that getting pregnant is half the battle, it's staying pregnant and getting the baby. What good is a story without a happy ending? Trust me, they WANT the happy ending!

Good news about the kindergarten btw, sounds like a really lovely way to transition through primary.

[sheilah]

Perhaps your 'moral' for Patrick's little playground fiasco could be something along the lines of "...and so there is a reason why there are rules on the playground (against playing with sticks)..."

[reenie]

I feel differently about this pregnancy, too. All chills-down the back, adrenaline-weak legs different. Weird? Probably. Do I care? Definitely not.

I think the fact that Patrick was willing to play that kind of game with a known perpetrator is a HUGE step. He reminds me of someone...someone who is willing to step in and play when sharp objects are involved, ever optimistic the game will be won. That's awesome.

[owlhaven]

yeah!
Mary

[Slim]

I think we're all a little dazzled by your Amazing Betas. Maybe more than a little.

I was listening to the David Benedictis version of Pooh and heard a passage that made me think of you (in this, you are Piglet, although obviously you are very brave at all times, and your RE is Owl aka You):

You tied a piece of string to Piglet, and you flew up to the letter-box with the other end in your beak, and you pushed it
through the wire and brought it down to the floor, and you and Pooh pulled hard at this end, and Piglet went slowly up at the
other end. And there you were.
"And there Piglet is," said Owl. "If the string doesn't break."
"Supposing it does?" asked Piglet, really wanting to know.
"Then we try another piece of string."
This was not very comforting to Piglet, because however many pieces of string they tried pulling up with, it would always be the same him coming down; but still, it did seem the only thing to do. So with one last look back in his mind at all the happy hours he had spent in the Forest not being pulled up to the ceiling by a piece of string, Piglet nodded bravely at Pooh and said that it was a Very Clever pup-pup-pup Clever pup-pup Plan.

_________

Anyway, Piglet triumphed and I am choosing to believe that you will too.

[Sadie]

I really, really wish that Redbook won't have a use for you anymore.

[LMM]

My husband and I tried for three years to get pregnant. Three early losses. No discernible reason why it wasn't taking and wasn't sticking when it did take. Lots of poking and prodding, drugs and procedures. Until I decided I needed a break.
My only sibling, my sister got engaged during all of this. And everyone kept joking that now that she was getting married and I was the matron of honor that I'd get pregnant for sure if only to be big as a house at the wedding, or, better yet, go into labor at the altar.
I didn't think it was all that funny and kept reminding everyone that while the universe does seem to have a sense of humor, my fertility wasn't really tied to my sister's wedding in any way.
So it took my sister more than a year to set the date. And the jokes kept coming. And less than a month after the date was set we found ourselves pregnant and due a week before the wedding.
18 weeks and holding.
So it makes perfect sense to me that the moment you land a gig getting paid to write about infertility that you get pregnant. With twins.

[Erica]

Oh Slim, what a marvelous Pooh quote -- thank you! Oh, and Julia, I'm not pregnant yet and looking for a good writing gig, so now I'm hoping for a LOT of different reasons that you're fired! (Although you'll most likely be shuttled off to the "Multiples Blog" where you'll have a rip-roarin' good time anyway).

[Pam L]

I SPY ! My son Paul had to have them. We poured over them every night after his Dr. Seuss ,or suitable similar author, dinosaur book or whatever other reading phase he was into. Much better than looking for Waldo for some reason. And yes, some of them were unsettling in some inexplicable way. He had all that were available at one point and we switched back and forth.
I think transitioning into full time Kinder is a great idea. This started after my boys went through it and I always wondered how many poor kids were thrown into that before they were ready. Most schools do separate for reading groups but Math is a good idea too for grade school. Sounds like a good plan that will work well for Patrick and keep him in is age/peer group as well.

[Mollywogger]

You know? I think my husband went to that elementary school. We're from MN, and he lived in your area for a while.

[winecat]

O yea, O yea. I'm so glad you're feeling hopeful this time. I must add my voice to the number of people who have said it feels different this time as well.

all fingers and toes crossed for you.

[Sarah]

Strangely enough, after reading your post, my 3 year old son brought me an "I Spy" book. An incredibly hard one that we never find anything in. And I kept finding croquet mallets. And then when I looked at the creepy rhyming clues, after mousetrap, it said sailor. I think we found the mousetrap! Was it by the leg of the chair on the right?

I wish you all the best with this pregnancy. And with the writing gig. Never underestimate the universe's ability to laugh.

[Denise]

I don't know, I think Redbook (REDBOOK! it should also have an exclamation point along with the caps) would be thrilled by such a happy outcome.

I am happy and optimistic for you, too.

[Caris]

I can't imagine that the capital letter publication wouldn't still want you, no matter what you're writing about. Now you'll arguably have even more to offer.

I am happy to hear about the mixed age class for Patrick - my daughter is also academically advanced, but we never would have wanted her to actually skip a grade - as it is her birthay makes her the youngest in her class anyway. She is now in the 3rd grade of a 3/4 classroom, and perfectly comfortable with her status as the best at some things and the worst at others - and plenty of in-between, too. I'm sure she could have gotten that in any good situation, but the older kids in her class really looked out for her in the beginning, especially when she couldn't tag anyone or jump rope or do the monkey bars all the way across (which seems to count for so much more in kindergarten than knowing how to spell onomatopoeia).

Anyway, you've won the school lottery and hit the baby jackpot all at once - and I'm hoping you will be my good luck charm since I'm about two weeks behind you in the fertility process - thanks for being so prolific recently!

[Audrey]

Keeping my fingers crossed for you--I've got a good feeling about this pregnancy, too, and I only know you through the interwebs!

...and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one vaguely creeped out by the I Spy books.

[erk]

I think the first thing that REDBOOK! should do is fix that crazy typo next to the search box. See it? "Search infirtility diaries?" Honestly, how is that still there? Makes me crazy every time, although I HAVE to read your posts so it's apparently worth insanity.

[margalit]

The mixed age/skills classroom sounds great. When my PG son was little, we did one of those for a year after a grade skip and it was wonderful for him.

Optimistic about the pregnancy, too.

[Emily]

Well, I also hope REDBOOK has no more use for you, but on those terms they shouldn't have much use for your currently absent co-blogger either, so I'm not too worried for your job. Twins really would give the situation a certain amount of symmetry, no? Plus, you have plenty of back material you could always cover that is more, ahhh... on topic.

Go Patrick! A little trouble is a good thing. The kindergarden sounds fantastic.

[victoria]

Ooooh, I have great new advice for infertiles. Instead of telling them, "Just relax," or "Just adopt," tell them, "Just get a paid gig writing about infertility online for Redbook!"

[L]

Nice mousetrap :) I kind of hear you on the playground trouble. When my son got into trouble for the very first and so far the last time I was happy and I am afraid it showed when the teacher talked to me about his bad behavior :) It just made him look so normal, you know.

Good luck next year. It's hard to find a good fit for any child not to mention a gifted child. It sounds like they do things individually based on each kid abilities and that's exactly what he (and as a matter of fact any child) needs.

You are completely right about the pg. 2 healthy embryos have been transfered and you got pg and all is going well. It looks like the next question will be "how many babies". Good luck at your u/s.

[Robbie R]

Congratulations!!! Oh, I think I have a definite mother of unsolicated advice (REDBOOK). This is my story....After four long years of infertility and treatments, etc, I am FINALLY PREGNANT (Summer 2004). I am shouting from the rooftops (not very cautiously optimistic--you know once your pregnant you stay that way-yeah right) Well....I MISCARRIED. I got many thoughtful calls, e-mails, and cards--however this is the ONE that will forever stand out--One person decided to phone me to tell me that JESUS SPOKE TO HER ABOUT ME--and told her He took my baby so that I would draw closer to Him. But as she so eloquently stated next-- she really didn't know how I felt because she was "fertile myrtle"--she got pregnant even when she didn't want to. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NOW CROSSED TO OTHER SIDE OF MY FERTILITY NIGHTMARE-THAT COMMENT STILL STINGS

[Carlynn]

Congratulations, I am so happy to hear that things are going well. Oh, I hope this works out. I'm so glad to hear this.

Loved the mousetrap story, too funny. And the kindergarten sounds fabulous. I love the idea of being in a different group depending on the unit you are studying, that is so intelligent and so geared towards the children. I hope it's as good as it seems.

[Pam L]

Ok, maybe it' just me, I've already commented here, but now I cannot see any comments on the Redbook site. Is anyone else having this problem?

[SheilaC]

Patrick's new school sounds terrific, and just right for him. Hooray!
And I'm so glad about your pregnancy, and glad you feel optimistic about it. I hope that you will have less morning sickness than in previous attempts, though just enough to be reassuring.
Heartfelt best wishes,

[Alex]

Congratulations on all counts. I too feel optimistic for you, for whatever that's worth. Not uncrossing fingers, though.

And cynically, I do not think the mainstream media really wants its audiences to know that infertility might involve something as unpleasant as repeated IVF attempts or unsuccessful pregnancies -- at least not until a happy ending has been reached. So my suspicion is that, say, sticky, healthy twins would be perfect for REDBOOK.

[-Blue]

I'll be over here assuming that everything is fine as well (and surripticiously crossing all extremities).

Sounds like Patrick had a grand day (right up to the getting in trouble part) and it sounds like normal kid stuff to me. LOL, mine are all the time playing lightsabres (huge SW fans, us) and scratching, scraping or whacking one another on accident.

I figure that they have to develop their physical skills and depth perception, etc, somehow.;)

[Pam L]

Just be happy Patrick didn't do as my son and friend did with sticks when they were little. They picked the meanest, grouchiest kid hating man in the neighborhood and whacked the heck out of his 5 foot arborvitae while they were pretending they had light sabres or pirate swords or something. We tried to find one the same size and couldn't and he wouldn't accept a smaller one so we just gave him cash and called it good.

[Jb]

just read up over RB -- wow. that is just so amazing. over the top. so glad. so amazing!!