Latitudes

When I drive I point the car in the general direction I want to go and then I just... drive there. When Steve is behind the wheel it is somehow much more complicated and involves near constant calculations concerning not only his own speed but the velocity of every car around him, possible lane changes for the next three miles, law enforcement probabilities and minute mirror adjustments with topographic shifts. I don't know if any of this makes him a better driver than I am, but it certainly makes him a lot less chatty. The drive to Chicago was pretty boring, what with Steve silently playing Le Mans and Patrick noting each and every mile marker. Finally I said, "This is boring" and Steve obliged me by offering what can only be described as a gambit, an honest-to-goodness conversational gambit: if we had to live anywhere other than Minnesota where would I want to live?

I have probably told you this story before but what the hell, we are growing old together aren't we? No reason we can't start repeating ourselves. Steve and I originally moved here because I wanted to leave Chicago. Nothing against Chicago, you understand, I was just at that stage of life when I was convinced that true and ever-lasting happiness was waiting for me. Somewhere else. So we went to a bar one night (this was back when I used to drink white wine. go figure) and we made two lists on two cocktail napkins of places to which we would be willing to move. Since Steve and I have nothing in common beyond this fierce, almost mystical, love we share; it took about seven or eight cities on both our lists before we had a match: Mpls-St. Paul. So here we are and there is no real reason why we couldn't move somewhere else tomorrow, apart from the fact that it will take us at least six months just to pack the garage.

As I considered Steve's question I was surprised to discover that my original seven cities were no longer very appealing to me. San Francisco is beautiful and I still love it muchly, but yesterday I watched a gray fox chase a squirrel up a tree while a turkey and fawn arranged themselves artistically in the foreground. That tree right there, actually, but it is just one of the many you can find here in the Northwoods. And when we want to drive from the Minnesotan equivalent of Union Square to Marin (work with me) at four o'clock on a Friday we just hop into our car and go, secure in the fact that any traffic will be comparatively light and we will probably know all of the other drivers anyway. Nice chance to wave to old friends when the interstate slows to 50. It is very pleasant here.

However, when pressed, I decided I could be happy in Baltimore (home of my alma mater, forever dear to my heart), Seattle (rainy and close-ish to my brother and an ocean) or possibly Denver. I waffled on Denver and I am waffling still. I like the city and the mountains but it is so damned sunny all the time. Steve pointed out it would be good for my hair, though, so it's still on the list.

And would you like to know where Steve would be willing to move?

Jackson, Wyoming.

I don't know why I found this so amusing but I really did. I'm over there in Baltimore and Steve is finding himself in a town in Wyoming.

However, this was not where I was going with this. Steve's mention of Wyoming elicited the fact that I have never been to Wyoming. Or Idaho. Or Montana for that matter. So I suggested that we might want to pack up the car later this summer and do a little back-of-the-car camping trip. Steve doubted my sincerity (just because I have never gone camping with him it does not mean I have never gone camping) but I managed to assure him that I think it sounds delightful. We broke out the atlas when we got home and I started looking at possible routes West. I was only able to look for about two seconds before Patrick commandeered it (Patrick. he likes maps. a lot) and began to plan his own route: "So what we'll need to do is drop down 35 here to 14 and then cut over to Pierre... ."

Detailed trip logistics aside (Patrick's route would take us through every small town in the West and would last about four months) we had decided that we would do this.

So I mentioned it to my mother. And she laughed. "You're going to be pregnant with twins and go camping?" she asked.

I said, "Certainly! Why not? It will be fine. I might be pregnant, not incapacitated by two broken legs" in that peevish tone women reserve from adolescence for just such conversations with their mothers. And actually it would be fine and we don't hold with all that cotton-wool molly-coddling over here. Sure I threw up in Target yesterday but did I quail? Did I falter? No! I finished shopping for the blasted birthday party goodie bags, weak and trembling though I might have been.   

Where the hell was I?

Oh right. The POINT (at last) is that prior to my mother mentioning it, I had completely forgotten that I was, in fact, pregnant. At no moment during the days Steve and I talked about this little jaunt did it ever cross my mind that I may be X weeks pregnant at the time and anxious for middle-of-the-night bathroom access, if nothing else. Not once. As many times as I have gotten annoyed with Steve over the years for forgetting that I was pregnant (which is many) I am suitably chastened to discover that I am capable of forgetting, too. Apparently I am perfectly aware of the morning sickness, the number of hours since my last ultrasound (250) and the number of hours remaining until my next one (108) but I have not synthesized this information into any real concept of the future. Who knew?

New REDBOOK post up.

Oh, and where would you live if you had to move?

Comments

[Mellie]

I've always had Austin, Texas on my mind as a possibility but since I have never been there and my entire family lives in CA, I can't see it being a real alternative. But if I were forced to move, I'd also consider the Pacific Northwest--Portland, etc. but the rain! My hair! Just wouldn't work. Austin would be good for hair. Something to consider.

[Toni]

Living in Chicago - I can understanding wanting to leave. I think about Arizona. It's beautiful there - and a dry heat. But my Steve...not a big fan of packing the house. We'll see in a couple of years when I'm done with school.

Forgetting your preggers while you're still throwing up...good for you :)

[Sally]

Lived in San Diego, Seattle, Honolulu, Cleveland and elsewhere in Ohio (right now. not worth mentioning.), and I would move back to Seattle in a heartbeat. Or Wyoming. or Montana. or Idaho. Never Denver. Never Florida. Not ever - never Florida.
In general, the husband and I are of the mindset that The West is where it's at - we prefer mountains, or mountains and ocean, or best yet - mountains, ocean and much shade.
Please forward Patrick's trip tik - perhaps we'll rent an RV and try it out someday.

[SarcastiCarrie]

I concur having lived in Ohio as well. Not for me.

However, I currently reside in Chicago and my 50 cajillion closest friends and I are often zooming through the I-PASS lanes on the expressway together whilst the chumps from out-of-town stop and wave at eachother in the ca$h lanes.

[Virginia]

So I have been reading your blog now for a long time but have never posted a comment. But today I had to...why because today I arrived in Jackson WY. I am waiting for my parents to head out to dinner and thought I would check my blogs. And there you are talking about Jackson WY. The most beautiful place on earth. Or as the WY sign says "Like no place on earth" My parents have had a house here since the mid-80's and it is where my husband and I were married last summer. Once you come here to visit you will add it to your list of places you would live. It is on the top of mine. As for camping...well..I would suggest a hotel.

[Little Bird]

I also live in Chicago, and I would move to New Mexico. But I have to say, I have made the drive from Minneapolis through the Wyoming and South Dakota, down to Colorado and finally to New Mexico. I would not recomend it. The drive? It was painful. And I didn't even drive. If you DO go, there's a great little hotel in South Dakota, near Mount Rushmore, and an even better one in Granby Colorado. If you like sorta 50's-ish motels.

[shannon]

Capitol Hill, DC.

NYC in a pinch.

And I could compromise on Baltimore if someone put a gun to my head. But only if you promised to be my buddy.

[Jujubee]

I would live in Seattle. It's a wonderful, beautiful place. I like the mountains, the water, the moderate climate, the outdoorsy-ness, and the liberalness. Oh, and it has lots of good asian food and fabulous local produce. Plus, I grew up there and my parents are still in the area.

After that, I dunno... maybe Portland? I've heard it's similar to Seattle, but smaller. Maybe Denver? It seems like it could be similar, just without the ocean. Actually, my husband and I were discussing Denver and I think I vetoed it because its altitude is too high. My baking projects would go all haywire and that would suck.

Right now we're in Boston, but we're moving to Ann Arbor, MI at the end of the summer. (My husband is starting grad school.) From what I've heard I'm quite looking forward to it, well, except for the winter weather. But after graduation, I'm rooting for Seattle all the way.

[Flicka]

I would live in Huaraz, Peru. It's a tiny town on top of one of the tallest mountains in the Andes. I have been there twice and have been trying for the past year to convince Sarge to move there, if only for a few years. I want so badly to go back there it's not even funny. It's beautiful there.

And if you moved to Baltimore, you'd be close to me! Which I think you ought to consider because it would be fun.

[lionessden]

Moved to Denver a year ago. It's beautiful and yet strange. There is ots of sprawl and it feels very sterile. Lots of the housing developments feel sort of...soul-less. New England is where I grew up. Portland, Maine is where I'd live if I could. Oh, New England.

[Ann]

Hey, if you make it to Idaho, Moscow is pretty nice. They have a kick-butt farmer's market on weekends. My mother grew up in Lewsiton, Idaho, and I have to put in a good word for that place, too. Personally, I love the Palouse.

On the other hand, I think I have to agree with your mom about the absolute insanity of going car-camping when you're pregnant with twins. Sorry.

[chantale]

I would definately choose either Victoria, B.C. or Montreal, PQ. Victoria is beautiful, but the shopping in Montreal is amazing. Plus it's affordable. Also, since my husband is a runner, having a 'mountain' in the city is quite useful. We live in California now, but still have to drive to the foothills for my husband to run a good hill-y course.

I'm going to Min/St.P this August to visit. My bil and sil live there. They absolutely love it and are thinking of settling there. It must be the nature that attracted them too, because they told me there isn't much else to do.

[Meegan]

You have a lot of Chicago readers, myself included. My family is here and it would be REALLY hard to leave them. That said, I think I would move to Seattle. Or perhaps Charlotte, NC. Or Minneapolis, as a matter of fact. But wow, it would be tough. Unless my husband gets some kind of crazy job offer that pays him a million dollars, I think we're Chicagoans. (Ok, we might move to the 'burbs someday. But that doesn't count AT ALL!)

[Susan]

Boston. I had the opportunity to live there for a short while and loved it. Very clean, the T was easy to navigate, alot of history and tons of places to visit and eat. Growing up in the country and having to drive everywhere I enjoyed being able to walk everywhere. It was a city that a country girl fell in love with.

[Jenn]

Well, I'm already in Baltimore so what's the point in moving? :)

[Jessie]

I can't imagine myself living anywhere other than where I'm at right now. It truly is an incredible place up here. We've got it all. Except for a good mall. And In and Out. Or Jack in the Box. That's a problem.

Your instincts on Montana are right. You need to come. I am 60 miles south of the Canadian border in the very northwest corner of this amazing state. DO NOT go to eastern Montana and judge the whole state by the prairie. Everyone needs to come check out Glacier National Park. AMAZING.

[JennyC]

Also a Chicagoan (suburbs, anyway), after having lived in Kentucky, Boston, and New York. If not Chicago, I'd probably go back to Louisville, KY. I'm a southern girl at heart, and I lived there in college and loved it.
My family & I went car camping this weekend. It was hot. Also, out west, there are bears. I'm just saying....

[ali]

I am from Seattle but live in NYC. Seattle is a great town. And beautiful. So I say, yes to Seattle. And yes to San Fran or Berkeley. I also found Cape Cod intriguing. Or London. Definitely London. Or Bordeaux. Paris seems like asking too much. I can barely speak any French--so that would definitely be adventurous. For the husband, it's Chicago. Or New York. And that is all.

[Jaz]

I live in Denver, and I really don't ever want to move (and there's that pesky court order - custody issues suck).

But I lovelovelove Portland, and I love San Antonio, and I love San Francisco (but I'd have to win the lotto and also have glucosamine/chondroitin on an IV drip to live there).

Lionessden - yeah, those newer neighborhoods that are all "Covenant Controlled" are completely soul-less and yucky. But we've got some lovely neighborhoods here, too.

[tgsdmom]

This is more in response to REDBOOK. I understand your need for constant reassurance about the pregnancy. (Maybe also the need to share the miracle with the technical staff.) It will be easier when (of course, "when" and not "if") their movements are felt, I suppose. Meanwhile, the anxiety is natural. Is it possible to buy a stethoscope and be content with their heart bits in your ears?

[margalit]

I've lived in Los Angeles, the Bay Area, North Carolina, Baltimore, Boulder Co, and Boston. I still live in Boston. I see absolutely no reason ever to leave Boston because I love it so. But eventually we will have to leave because the winters are just too hard as I grow older. Which leaves Baltimore. I'd go back there in a flash. Otherwise, London or Tuscany.

[Cherith]

I live in Colorado and cannot imagine living anywhere else. I am addicted to the climate, FABULOUS for the hair. If I HAD to move? Um....northwest coast somewhere, it seems like everywhere else is hot and humid or SUPER hot and not humid. I can do humid if it is cool humid. I don't much care for humid or extreme heat, can you tell?

I still need to know where to get icky poo!!

(pretty please)

[Lisa]

Come on, Utah isn't on the top of your list? Shocking. I hope Jackson, WY isn't on the 2/3 east of the state, it really is ugly. However if it's on the western 1/3, then that's ok. I've driven from St. Louis to Salt Lake and let me tell you, there is a whole lot of NOTHING in between.

I don't know where else I'd like to live. I find myself totally disoriented without mountains to help navigate. Hubby is from Mass./Rhode Island and I can tell after our recent trip back there, that he is dying to move home. I don't like humidity and it's close to his father. 2 huge negatives.

[carrie]

Denver is great for the hair. I'll be there next week and I'm looking forward to 5 good hair days. I couldn't live there though. Seattle is beautiful, but my husband hates all the rain. Florence would be my choice. Stateside, San Francisco.

[carrie]

Denver is great for the hair. I'll be there next week and I'm looking forward to 5 good hair days. I couldn't live there though. Seattle is beautiful, but my husband hates all the rain. Florence would be my choice. Stateside, San Francisco.

[SarcastiCarrie]

Oh, I forgot to answer the question about where I would move if I HAD to move....Oh, so hard. I've been places and visited. But, to live there? Oy!
I'm a midwesterner at heart and the eastern time zone kicks my rear (c'mon news at 11...I'm usually asleep for 2 hours by then).
Mpls/StP, perhaps. I had a job offer there once, but all the recruitment literature kept talking about blizzards and white-outs.
I don't really care for St. Louis what with it touching East St. Louis and all.
Milwaukee is a lot like Chicago but without the charm, tall buildings, and good transportation.
Madison might have all those pesky town/gown issues like Ann Arbor and Evanston.
Perhaps Midland, MI. I lived there for a few months once upon a time. 'Twas nice with charm and nature but alas, it's in the eastern time zone.
And, of course, Ohio is right out.
Is there anything good in Iowa?

[shannon]

Oh Mellie how wrong you are. I moved from Austin to Portland a few years ago and despite the rain it is way better for the hair here than in Tx. No humidity. I can't give advice on the city I would want to move to because I've already done it. What I can say is that Porland is an amazing city. It is small, but has all the amenities of a much larger city. It's very similar to Seattle only affordable, easy to navigate, and has a really usable public transit. This is the first city I've lasted more than three years in, and at least for now, would have a really hard time if I had to leave.

[Gina]

Wow, I'm shocked at the lack of "San Diego"s out there. It is the perfect place. Beautiful, seaside, most wonderful weather (not too hot, not too cold). You are within driving distance to: mountains, deserts, beaches (obviously), malls, Arizona, and anything else that's cool. Well, except Arizona isn't "cool". My sister lives there and we love to visit, but 114 "dry" heat in June is like visiting HELL. LOL. Still a great state in the winter, spring and fall. Anyways, I live in the desert in So Cal and we have frightfully hot weather in the summer...if I could swing the financial end of things we would go to San Diego in a minute. But...Jackson, Wy....that was a wonderful place...

[Steph]

Ha! I used to live in Marin, knew I'd had enough when it took me 3 hours to get home from the city on a Friday evening. Sitting in tears in traffic because I'm not with my family? No thanks. I've lived in LA, SF Bay Area, and now the Sierra foothills. I'd move someplace green, liberal, and not too crowded. Don't do well with dismal winters, so Portland and Seattle are probably out. If I had all the money in the world, I'd say England.

[SheilaC]

Ha! I love your posts, both here and at Redbook. I don't think you forgot you were pregnant, but you don't believe it yet, so it doesn't affect your plans. That's how I felt too, in the beginning, especially because it was a high risk pregnancy (triplets). Re: your Redbook post, yes I was very anxious during the whole pregnancy, starting with the first ultrasound and the high-risk clinic, and continuing when the babies were in NICU and after they came home. We didn't start to buy any baby things until after 22 weeks, when the mindset became "just in case this actually happens, I guess we might need a crib or 3". We still didn't really dare to hope for 3 healthy babies, and were a bit shocked when they arrived, at 30 weeks, before we were nearly ready.
I think infertility trains us very well to plan for worst-case scenarios, and leaves us unwilling (unable?) to imagine or plan for our dreams to come true. To some significant degree my fears were rational, based on medical information and research, but there was a weird mixture of superstition and denial at work too.
I hope you will find some peace of mind and will be able to relax a bit more after the first trimester. And I'm hoping and praying for you, Steve and Patrick, and your babies-to-be.
Oh yes, Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa, Calgary or maybe Halifax.

[e]

Montreal.
South-western France. (possibly not in that order)
Maine.
Vermont.
Upper New York state.
here.

[swissmiss]

You have not lived until you've been to Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho. Really.

I want Dennis Quaid's ranch (it was in Architectural Digest once) in the Paradise Valley Montana (the valley the Yellowstone River flows through between leaving Yellowstone Park and the town of Livingston, MT). Heck, I'll take anybody's spread in the Paradise Valley. Though actually I'm quite content with Switzerland.

[Amy]

The only place I want to live is right where I am, in rural coastal Maine. I have lived in suburban PA (blech) and Boston (fun, but I'm not a city girl), and I know I belong right here. :)

[Trish]

Well... my husband and I actually played the "where would you move?" game two years ago and decided that, heck, we should just do it. So we moved to Albuquerque, NM and have never looked back. Spectacular weather (think Denver but almost no snow), 300 days of sunshine, gorgeous mountains, virtually no traffic compared to the other places I've lived, and all the chips and salsa a girl could want.

[Trish]

Well... my husband and I actually played the "where would you move?" game two years ago and decided that, heck, we should just do it. So we moved to Albuquerque, NM and have never looked back. Spectacular weather (think Denver but almost no snow), 300 days of sunshine, gorgeous mountains, virtually no traffic compared to the other places I've lived, and all the chips and salsa a girl could want.

[Dawn]

Indianapolis, IN (lots of bars and partying; ringed with suburbs full of happy families; well planned and well laid out city= easy commute)
Louisville, KY
Memphis, TN (Beale Street)
Washington, DC

I agree with the poster above who found Denver soul-less. My sister lives there. I would refuse to.

[Lynda L]

Hmm, I'm in Edinburgh, Scotland and...I like it here. But if I were to move, it would be to Nova Scotia, Canada, specifically the Annapolis Valley. Just lovely.

[Mella]

Since I moved to this small town north of London (UK), and since birthing my lovely "miracle" baby, I only know women with babies. Six months after having my son, I've finally braved social situations this week--I glammed myself up in anticipation of a romping night out with my follow "mummy" friends only to natter all night about babies, and last night I turned up in push-up bra and lip gloss (feeling a massive "party-girl-at-last" persona) to my bookclub party and everyone there just moaned about bad books and how much this town is over-populated by babies. On both occasions I've returned home feeling like I gotta get out of here--fast. My thirties are dwindling & I'm wondering where the fun is--apart from planting endless smooches on my wee lad and delighting in his bathtime antics.

So this morning I awoke with this: I’m taking the baby & jetting to Rio where surely lively characters await. Viva carnival! [Or, maybe I’ll just have another espresso & put my feet up while he naps.]

Fingers crossed for a fab scan next week, Julia. Thinking of you!

I agree with the Swissmiss poster - Zürich Switzerland is my favorite place of all! (Besides the cost of decent housing of course) Mountains, lakes, decent weather, great public transport, restaurants, lovely downtown, AND decent work opportunities... AND very mixed bag cosmopolitan.

[Chickenpig]

I love New England, but the part I'm living in right now keeps getting more traffic and people all the time. I would love to move up to Vermont, or Maine, or maybe Canada...yeah, Canada.

I can't believe you're thinking of camping this summer! I was due in mid December with my twins (born Nov 29), and by mid summer I was already pretty big, and very uncomfortable in the heat. The only thing I wanted to do on vacation was hang around in the AC and swim in the pool. By September my belly was already measuring at 42 weeks. Whether you believe they're coming or not, late in the first trimester and the second trimester are very important for the growth of multiples. Getting in enough healthy calories that are as packed in nutrients, and that you can stand to eat, and that won't give you problems with diabetes becomes MUCH more of an issue than bathroom breaks...especially on the road.

[Abby]

I've informed my husband that when we retire I want to buy an apartment in Stockholm, and live there half the year. Then we'd spend the other half of the year in NYC, which is where we live now.

If we were to move now...huum. San Francisco, maybe Chicago. London. Paris.

[Shelley]

Jackson, WY is gorgeous and wonderful, if you can afford the real estate. For most people, that's a pretty big if.

[pink]

Well, there are two different answers... If I had all the money in the world, Paris would top my list. Or maybe Vancouver. Or move back to DC. Or, since I have all the money in the world, I'd just live in hotels all over.

Back to reality, I'm quite happy right now in Cleveland. Yes, Cleveland. It's got a great cost of living (especially compared to DC!), gorgeous housing stock, good schools, cultural and entertainment options, quick access to family (not too close, not too far), and while the economy isn't great for the manufacturing sector, for white collar tech jobs, there are good options. So, for the time being, I'll stick with Cleveland. Over the past two years, it's become home.

[grumpygirl]

vermont, where i lived for six years, though the winters suck ass.

provence.
santa barbara
cape cod/nantucket/northeast coast

or i could stay in brooklyn, i love it here.

[kate]

We'd head east to Europe. Eventually we plan to settle back in Denmark (my husband is Danish, as are my children), but I wouldn't mind some exploring before then - Spain, Italy, Ireland...

Ahh to be independently wealthy :)

[Reese]

Currently in Orlando, FL and wouldn't move because 1) our families are here, 2) our daughter was born here, and 3) we have the hook up for free D*sney tickets. BUT. Would love to move back to my home town of Honolulu, HI because 1) hello, it's Hawaii! 2) I know my way around already, and 3) my daughter would grow up in the same town I did. Would seriously consider Seattle, WA because 1) some family members live there, 2) snow, 3) mountains. Also, Asheville, NC because 1) the beautiful weather and 2) seems like a great town to retire in and grow a garden.

[bad penguin]

I actually like here in Maryland, but I'm not sure I'd move to Baltimore (no offense intended). I'd move to Vancouver in a heartbeat, and Seattle runs a close second. I love the Pacific Northwest. Ireland is in the picture somewhere too, but is much more hypothetical.

[Amber]

I live between Baltimore and Annapolis and I do love it. BUT...if I never saw another flake of snow I would be thrilled. So South Caroline, FL, somewhere WARM is looking good to me.

Patrick can read a map? hmmm. i cant. I love GPS. I can hear well so I do very good with "Turn Right at Stevenson Road in 3/4 of a mile."

[j]

I live where I'd want to move - Portland, Maine. Enough city stuff to keep my suburban NYC heart beating, enough country to keep me relaxed and happy. And next to no traffic (except in July/August)

[Heather B.]

The lovely and charming District of Columbia. I loved it there.