Not For The Scallops

I felt pretty gross last week and then we drove to Chicago for a wedding and now here we are, a week later.

How are you?

Gross is actually a relative thing and I was really worried that a, uh, twin pregnancy was going to be twice as bad as usual in the morning sickness department. Which meant that I would die. And it saddened me because I have always been rather fond of me. But in truth the vomiting has been a little better than in past pregnancies. Rosy-fingered dawn drags me out of bed each day, so nauseous I cannot sleep, and I crawl off to the bathroom lugging my water bottle with me. If you are squeamish avert your gaze here but I feel the need to pass this tip on to anyone in need: I find that when vomiting is inevitable it is nice to just chug cold water and succumb. Throwing up water isn't so bad and it helps to settle my stomach. Anyway, I do so in the morning and then go about my day; repeating the whole water/vomit thing another three or four or five times. And so, to bed. I have taken an anti-nausea Reglan a couple of times, like this weekend for the actual wedding or before taking Patrick to the planetarium for the black hole movie he wanted to see (note: there are not enough drugs in the world to assist in watching a movie that is shown on a dome and involves swirling - swirling and flashing lights). The rest of the time I just muddle along and if I have not gained any weight I have not lost any either.

We thought about telling Steve's family about the pregnancy this weekend. We even decided we would and then... it just didn't seem right somehow. We didn't tell them about the last couple of pregnancies and we did not mention that we were doing another IVF cycle. It's not like it is a secret or anything, or that we were worried that they would be anything other than kind and supportive. I guess we are a little embarrassed to still be trying? I don't know. I was sitting there with the immediate family and Patrick nowhere in sight (we have no intention of telling Patrick anything until I can tell him he is going to have a brother or a sister and actually believe it myself; also, should we ever be so lucky as to actually get to the first point, I want to give him some notice but not so much that it is like driving to Chicago with him counting down each mile of the way for us) and I opened my mouth to start a sentence like, "We have news" or "We hope to be in expectation of an interesting event" or something equally precious but nothing came out. We have another wedding next week, different major players but same supporting cast. Maybe we will mention it then.

I am, all implicit pessimism to the contrary aside, extremely happy and very excited about all this. Not only did I not scream when given a due date this time; I have contemplated it with affection. I have adjusted it for twins. I have given thought to how I am going to concurrently have house guests at Christmas and be due with two babies. I am indulging in fantasies and I am enjoying them tremendously. I have even... thought about possible names. It is like Mardi Gras over here, ya'll, and I am unapologetically letting les bon temps rouler.

Next ultrasound is a week from today, when Doreen the ultrasound tech and I (along with Steve) plan to play amateur perinatologists and see what can be seen of those nuchal translucencies. A real NT scan can only be performed by a trained expert, of course, but Doreen caught the last one at ten weeks so we thought we might as well take a look before the big perinatology appointment in early July.         

I want this SO MUCH. This is it for us. If we lose these we are most emphatically done. But I am trying not to think about that too much. Like I said, I'm happy.         

++

Patrick has been absolutely delightful lately. When we got back from Chicago last night he announced that he was pretending it was Christmas and he wrapped his toys in blankets or put them into boxes and gave them to Steve and me with a great deal of pomp and ceremony. I scored some Legos and a few Matchbox cars.

He painted a picture today and then came to get me for a viewing, saying and I quote exactly, "I am quite the little artist, aren't I?"

Thank you, Jasper Johns.

He turns five next Monday and is as excited as one is when one is about to turn five next Monday. He and a friend from school are having a joint birthday party (did I tell you this already?) and it took me a while to convince him that they could each have their own cake. There is a streak of asceticism in Patrick and I have no idea where it comes from; Steve and I being as acquisitive as the next greedy bastards. Many's the conversation I have had with Patrick concerning the purchase of a new DVD, for example. I see the opportunity to acquire a new children's film as a solid hour and a half of free time in my pocket and have frequently tried to suggest to Patrick that we buy movie X or Y and take it home. He, dour forty-one inch Puritan that he is, always frowns repressively and says, "We have DVDs at home, Mommy" and returns it to the shelf. You think I am kidding, of course, but I am sorry to say I am not. I don't think it is so much that he is displaying a maturity beyond his years as the fact that he is out to get me. I say "black"; he says "white". I say "Ooh, Little Mermaid!"; he says "Put it back."

Where was I?

Oh right. It took me about a month to convince him that he and Liv can have two different cakes and now I am bitterly regretting it because he has decided that in that case he would like a universe cake. You know, your standard issue sheet cake covered with black frosting and decorated with the Earth, the Sun, Saturn and the Andromeda Galaxy. And even if I could make such a thing (which I most emphatically cannot) I cannot bring it to the place where we are having the party because Minnesota state law prohibits the consumption of homemade food products in inflatable party palaces. Or something like that. I didn't read the statute. So now I need to find a bakery that can improvise. Any thoughts?

Two present suggestions for this age range, by the way, and if you are interested.

The first is a Dig-a-Dinosaur kit that Steve's birthmother gave Patrick when we saw her last week. It is basically a lump of sand in which is embedded a model dinosaur fossil. First the kids get to excavate the bones, then they get to snap the pieces together, and finally they get to paint it. Those bits took most of an afternoon and now Patrick has been running around the house for days with his black, orange and purple T-Rex menacing things. Two big and two little thumbs up. Available here and wherever else google might direct you.

The second is A Pirate's Life treasure hunter. As best I can tell it is like a remote key finder but the two parts look like the two halves of a treasure chest. So you hide the bottom part and then the top part lights up from red to yellow to green as you get closer to the treasure. I have yet to see this in action but, honestly, what is not to like? Check it out here.

Over at REDBOOK I just urged everyone with pets who have bladders to stock up on Anti-Icky Poo (my cats are losing their goddamned minds. first they peed on the bed and then as I was stripping the bed and grumbling, one of them snuck over and peed in a pile of stuff I was about to take to the dry cleaners. I will take the two possible culprits to the vet, of course, but if neither of them have any issues they are definitely grounded) and now here I am hawking toys. My days of public service never end.      

Comments

[Leslie]

Most grocery store bakeries can do the scan-a-photo-on-a-cake thing - so you could do the planets in the solar system. Colorful, on a white background. (Remember - black icing = black teeth, black tongue, black fingernails and black poop. 'nuff said.)

Can't wait for the update on the twinkies.

[Allisone]

You could also stick some universe type cut outs (think paper dolls, but thicker) or toys in the top of a plain bakery cake.

[squashi]

Random lurker's curiosity: if you are not telling P. about your attempts, how are you explaining your vomiting and frequent doctor's visits etc?

(fingers crossed, etc. back to lurking)

[ErikaMSN]

Is it possible the cats know about the twins and are acting out? I'd jest, except that cats are weird that way.

COOL present suggestions. I definitely need to remember those for next party...

[Robin]

Just make whatever you want and get a pastry shop looking box to put it in. Or do as suggested above, get a plain sheet cake and decorate it yourself.

[JuliaKB]

Dude... Little Mermaid? I'd put that back on the shelf myself. Have you tried Cars? Monsters, Inc? The Incredibles? If I remember from way back when Patrick was just learning the fine art of small talk, he is fond of Shrek, no? Monkey is also a fan of Happy Feet which may or may not be in stores yet, but we got it as a gift from someone who went to China on business.

If you are in need of further gift suggestions, Blokus Triagon (http://www.blokus.com/index.htm) is most excellent, and allows from 2 to 4 players.

Glad to hear you are pukey but not dying. I am kinda fond of you myself, so that wouldn't work for me either. I am glad to hear you are enjoying the ride, and certainly hope it keeps up all the way until you get to enjoy Patrick as the bestest big brother there is. Tell Doreen that if she sees nothing but good news, there is a nice bottle of wine in it for her.

[Jodi]

I'll be on the edge of my seat waiting for that scan result.

Vicarious pregnancy is as good as it gets around these parts! :)

Sorry on the puke-fest, you make it sound so *delightful*

[dianalyzer]

I think the cats may know . . . our cats started to do this when I was pregnant with our 2nd. Our 1st was almost 4. Initially the peeing was generalized - couch, floor, pile of stuff - and then it became very targeted on our daughter's things - her floor, bed, pillows & then outside her door (once we finally got wise and closed the cats out).

I think the universe on toothpicks is a great idea - if Patrick were up to it, he could do all of the decorating & you would only have to order a plain cake from the bakery.

Good luck at the ultrasound & I hope Patrick has the best time turning 5 - 5 is so BIG. And happy 5th birthday to you, too.

[Jennifer]

Thrilled to hear you sounding so chipper; am feeling optimistic over here...

P.S. Just ordered three of the pirate's chests; thanks for the great idea.

[Miz S]

Holding you in the Light, as those adorable Quakers say.

[electric boogaloo]

Oh my goodness yes! I wouldn't have survived my last pregnancy if it weren't for the awesomeness of the dino dig concept. While I laid on the couch whining about my kidneys, my little paleontologist sat at the dining room table cheerfully excavating a plastic stegosaurus. For four solid months.

I bought him another one during the recent move, thinking it would allow me plenty of free time to pack. Unfortunately four year olds are MUCH faster at digging dinos than two year olds. He took a hammer to it and was done 15 minutes later.

ps.
I am assuming you are going to do the polite thing and give one of the twins to Julie. This probably falls on the list of things you are just starting to think about, but it bears mentioning to avoid any awkwardness later on.

[alisa]

I am a firm believer that pregnancy pheromones make cats go freaken bonkers. My previously selfish, irritable and above-it-all cat Poo turned into the lovingest-snuggle-bunny-face EVER. Once I had the child she has not come around once and is back to her sullen self.
I'm rooting for you, you sooo deserve two bundles of sleepless happiness-es.

[Rose]

Oh! Oh! Usborne makes some great Dinosaur excavation kits! Check it out! http://www.gottalovereading.com

[becky]

What about getting them to make circular cookies to decorate the cake? Or, you could do full size cupcakes decorated like the planets and mini ones that are white with sparkles for the stars and skip the cake.

I found peppermint tea to almost make it pleasant to throw up if you want to mix things up a little. Also, craisins aren't bad to throw up and pack a good bit of calories if you manage to keep any down.

[Kelly]

Cake? 2 words. Cash Wise.

The local one (up here in St Cloud) did a faboo job of decorating a cake for birthday day at my job. I work at a construction company, and they had little men, and a bulldozer and candy rocks. And it was under 30 bucks. Kathy rocks the cake. :)

[Abby]

Cupcakes? I realize that Patrick will know that some planets, suns, whatever, are bigger than others, but that can be remedied with different size pans. Right?

And peeing cats isn't good I don't think. Poo is behavioral. Pee is not. But I'm not vet. I just have a cat that WON'T POO in the box, so I've been told all this. Ahem.

[cathy b]

Patrick is one of my favorite internet heros, and I think he deserves this cake:

http://www.instructables.com/id/E8UQBZGF0X27X4E/

It is a volcano birthday cake that has running chocolate lava, chocolate powder "smoke," and volcano sounds and vibrations.

The dad who did this writes that it took him four months, but I bet Steve could pull it off in a weekend.

[Jackie]

Just want to let you know I'm wishing you all the best with this pregnancy and am thinking of you with every new step and test you take.

[cat, galloping]

do you have one of those places will screen a photo onto a cake? then you'd just have to find the photo.

[Chickenpig]

I sincerely hope that all goes well enough with your US and psuedo-scan for you to start believing in this pregnancy, and not just hoping for it. The thing with twin pregnancies is that the more weight you put on early, the longer your pregnancy will last and the better off your babies will be. Also, the sooner you start saying to yourself "I'm going to have two babies" the sooner you will be able to prepare yourself, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

The level II ultrasound is a lot more involved than just a nuchal screen. The computer compares measurements between the head and body, for example, which helps rule out certain conditions. The fingers, legs, and ears are all measured and compared to a "normal" range (whatever that is) Also, the heart, spine, and brain are all closely examined, as is the placenta(s). I was told that any number of indicators could be considered "soft markers" for anything from Down's to other serious conditions, and that if we had more than 3 soft markers, an amnio would be indicated. The whole test took over an hour to examine both twins. After having this test done I was fairly confident in the health and genetic makeup of the twins. I wish you all the best of luck for a great scan with no amnio needed.

[sozzled]

I just ordered anti icky poo by the gallon because of the beloved Romeow who insisted on peeing on my couch. damn cat.

anyway, Diane, who comments here occasionally, is a fantastic local baker who has constructed stonehenge. to. scale. you ought to call her. Dr Ruth raved about her flourless chocolate cake last week.

[Meegan]

Someone mentioned peppermint tea and throwing up - ginger tea isn't bad either.

Geez, I'm on the edge of my seat with this pregnancy, Julia. I feel that excitement/anxiety likes it's my own pregnancy. I'm starting to think I have a problem because I'm checking your blog and Redbook for updates several times a day! Can't wait to hear about the u/s.
"Good Luck" doesn't cut it but I don't have words that do.

[kr]

You'll pay through the nose for it, but Wuollet will make you weep with their rendition of a universe cake, or any other cake whim.

http://www.wuollet.com/

[jk]

Hi. I had world-class morning sickness with both of my pregnancies. Was so dehydrated that I was hospitalized and rehydrated a few times. Anyway, what worked for me was Jelly Belly jelly beans, (lemon), before I lifted my head off the pillow. I would try to drink a lot of water, because, you are right, it is easier to urp some volume. If I was able to kep my blood sugar up, it was somewhat tolerable. Good luck!

[Diane]

Julia,

These two babies will be born close to term, healthy and demanding. This I know. All the best to your family.

P.S. The cats are peeing because of the pregnancy. Mine did it through all eight of mine. I have two grown up young men now.

[Amanda]

So good to hear good news from you so far - long may it continue. Sorry about the sickness - I was always a sucker for anything really acidic or lemony, but that cold water thing sounds good.
Good luck with the cake & the party & the pregnancy. My meagre attempts at cakes look so insignificant compared to that volcano one...

[Slim]

My sister who lives in Minnesota sent us that pirate thing. It is hugely popular: take it, add two kids, enjoy an hour or two to yourself as the two kids hide and find and cackle.
That said, is there some sort of link between Minnesota and piracy that I should know about? Is Gunnar Madsen (yes, I know he's from the West Coast but "Gunnar"? Odin's parent's probably had that on the short list) involved?
I wish I'd known about Icky-Poo years ago.

[Dara]

Sorry you are feeling so icky. Water with lemon works for me. I am about 14 weeks and still have the occosional bouts of nausea. Not a good time.

Those toy suggestions sound great...

Cats are so freakin' fun/funny, aren't they? Our cat hangs out in the attic...he comes down for snacks and hugs and then retreats.

Positive thoughts coming your way for the US, wish I had a Doreen!!

[elsimom]

Second on the Wuollet's - it is my understanding that they will come up with any decoration you ask (at the above-noted princely sum). I believe that SuperTarget has the photo silkscreen capability (as I'm sure do others) but I know I've seen grad photo cakes at SuperTarget.

Amen on the ice water (I prefer ginger ale, but same concept) - if you know you're going to barf - it's better to just get it over with.
My sister, who is always sick, sick, sick during her pregnancies, swears that protein is what you need. She recommends nuts or kashi bars or other high protein snacks - it seems to have helped her tremendously. (Also, I think her Dr. recommended same).

Happy Birthday to the fine young man!

[kimberly/tippytoes]

I've bookmarked all three things.

Lemonade isn't so bad to vomit either. I used to drink small bits just to help with the usual horrible taste. I hope it gets better soon.

[Cherith]

Please tell me where I can obtain this miracle cleaner. I am currently looking at my destroyed living room, once the home of a fabulous, 2 month old, micro fiber sectional purchased from Macy's along with a warranty that no one seems too keen to honor.

The cats peed ALL OVER MY BRAND NEW FURNITRUE. SOB WAIL MOAN

I am getting sick of waiting out this warranty and just want to have it cleaned. Does this stuff work on upholstry? I could call a service, but I am willing to save a few bucks when I can.

Thanks!

[cursingmama]

I see I've been beaten to the punch with Wuollet's - the cake and other goodies never ever dissapoint. As an alternative we do have a local blogger who does cakes also....

[Jana - theboysmom]

"Two big and two little thumbs up."

I love it!

Went over to a friend's house a few years back and their son was chipping away at one of those sets with his little safety glasses on like a miniature paleontologist. I thought it was the neatest thing. My oldest is only 3 but I will keep that on the list for a future gift.

[Carrie (in MN)]

I took homemade cupcakes to said inflatable party palace here in MN and no one said boo. I do know that rule, though (they enforce it in the kids' school) and I am by no means suggesting you need to bust your hump to try to produce the galactic masterpiece yourself.

Protein. That proved to be the key to avoiding the nausea for me in my twin pregancy. I had to eat protein early and often, before I was even slightly hungry, or it was all over. I even had to get up and eat in the middle of night for most of the pregnancy or I would awake either ravenous or nauseated.

I think about you all the time (hope that doesn't sound creepy) and am hoping hoping hoping for you.

[Ninotchka]

I'm rooting for you, Julia. You have my very best wishes, always. xxoo

[L]

Get a good picture of Solar System (cut out Pluto, I cannot even tell you how many comments I heard about Pluto from my son) and have it put on the cake. You can also buy one of the small Solar System models and add the planets on the cake. Have fun and enjoy.

We have the same dinosaur kit plus another one from Smithsonian, the latter one seems to last longer and is less messy.

[Cris]

I know the first poster said it, but I want to echo the importance of not having black icing. Even dark blue will be a pain. The screened on picture seems the best option.

Good luck with the nausea. I hope this time it becomes a fond memory, all bound up in the wonderful time that led to the babies keeping you busy in the future (does that make any sense?). Instead of insult to injury as it has so often been in the past.

[Matthew M. F. Miller]

Cat pee is the worst - and on top of that, being nauseous and dealing with cat pee must be hell.

I hope the world treats you better soon.

[Heather]

Cupcake cakes are all the rage here and seem like it would lend itself well to the universe - maybe some red vines for the orbital patterns. Still, even as I type this it strikes me that Patrick might not be fooled by any-old cupcake cake in place of a real cake but it kind of makes me want one.

[Loona]

When I was a kid, my mom used to take my drawings to a bakery, and they would reproduce the picture on the take. I assume this is similar to the photo concept, and perhaps you have a bakery that could do this. Then Patrick could design his own cake.

[wealhtheow]

Hey Julia--

I'm responding to your REDBOOK post over here, because I am lazy and have no wish to register.

I'm 20 weeks into my first pregnancy,and I'm still consumed with worry. It's gotten better since I passed out of the first trimester, but I think about losing the pregnancy every day. I've never had a loss. There's no history of loss in my family. Hell, we weren't even trying when we got pregnant (although we weren't preventing, either). The only thing that happened was some spotting and the fact that I was a couple weeks behind where I "should" be according to my LMP.

I stumbled across Grrl's blog a few years ago, and have been reading several blogs in the infertility blogosphere, partly because my MIL and SIL struggled with recurrent pregnancy losses and partly because your writing is so damn good!! So when I got pregnant, I was acutely aware that there are no guarantees. As I think Julie said once, sure the chance of miscarriage drops to 5% once you see the heartbeat, but someone has to be in that 5%. It's really just been in the past few month that I've started to enjoy my pregnancy and feel like I can count on actually getting a live healthy baby out of this (and even now the knowledge that that's not guaranteed is never very far from my mind).

So hey--you may be constantly worried, but you are probably not as neurotic as I am, because at least you have a history justifying that worry. I am just a freak who reads about open neural tube defects and then spends the next 4 days furiously googling statistics and late-term abortion laws in Virginia.

[Monica C.]

I want this for you, too!! And I don't know why I'm picturing boy-girl twins! :)