I Also Do Children's Parties

As I said to my mother when she called on Tuesday, "Oh my GOD! NO! OK? They did not call with the FISH results. What do you think - that they called and I just didn't tell you? Aiiiiee! And no, they are not open tomorrow. So, no, I have no idea what is going on and I will not know anything else for days. Also, my uterus hurts. HAPPY?"

For some strange reason she got off the phone very quickly. My guess is she turned to Papa Stan and told him I had always been a disagreeble child. Then she probably tried to change her travel plans to go visit my brother this weekend instead of flying to Minnesota. But HA! She is coming here anyway. She is stuck with me.

So, no, no FISH results, thank you very much for asking. And all that quiet confidence and nonsense about things being fine and our having twins? GONE, baby. I am one tightly wound ball of pessimism.

REDBOOK post up, such as it is, mainly about what little self control I have and how stupid summer is, and the 4th of July. Also, sunshine and flowers and the laughter of children.

More as events warrant. I have to go pick up my mom at the airport. I'll bet she cannot wait to see me.

Comments

[Sophie]

Hang in there, and I hope you have a lovely time with your Mom. We are all rooting for you.

[Amber]

did your mom plan this trip? if so, she has poor timing. I want to meet you so bad, but even I wouldnt do it this week. Or the next 20.

:)

[electric boogaloo]

I'm glad your mom is on her way -- this is what moms are perfect for. Holding your hand while you wait to hear yes or no. That and for subtly criticizing your choice of eyewear. Maybe that's just my mom. Anyway, I hope the news comes soon and I hope it is GOOD.

[aliceaustralia]

You can be pessimistic, that's ok, no worries. 'Cause I am over here completely, wholeheartedly, mightily optimistic that you are going to come out of this one with two perfect new babies. Absolutely no worries.

[Anita]

Can't they call today? Can't you call TODAY and ask them what the heck the results are. Call right now! NOW!!! NOW!!!! (And no, your reaction at the party wasn't usual) Easier to comment here than REDBOOK.

[JuliaKB]

What do we want? FISH! When do we want it? NOW!
FISH NOW! FISH NOW! FISH NOW!

Excuse me.. I pulled an all-nighter. And not a fun one either. This one's for work. And I am not done YET. So I may be a little overzealous there with the revolution. But, you know...

Also? Have a nice visit with mom. My parents are also visiting now, which is very nice.
Hope your mom brought a punching bag, though... :)

[spinarella]

#&*@ LABS!!! I hate when they do the whole "we'll call you with the results at ___ time", which of course becomes your "I can hold it together until then" mark, and then they fall on their faces NOT calling you. I agree with Anita: call them. Call everyone involved until you get an answer. Call the service of the doctor if you must. I truly believe that the medical professionals working in IF sometimes need a refresher course in compassion (i.e. not increasing our anxiety levels).
Your feelings about the 4th and family picnics - been there, done that. That's why we just avoid the idiots in the family (both sides, I might add) as often as possible.
Hoping you get a call soon!

[Denise]

Have a great visit with your mom! I hope you hear from the lab soon.

[Stacey]

Julia-- If you paid for expedited results (as you mentioned in the Redbook post), I'd demand a refund of any extra charges! I am SO sorry you're in this limbo and am hoping that when you finally do get the results that everything's fine and you can start to obsess about having 2 babies to care for at the end of the year! :-)

[Stacy]

I had CVS three weeks ago, OF COURSE you hurt. I swear half of my crying that entire weekend was due to the pain, the other half, the potential results.

I am still pregnant, 15 weeks too. I had a bad NT (3.9mm) and totally flipped. Another blogger friend turned me to your site. So, thanks for the "support" and just keeping me from feeling alone. So, now I'm here for you. Reading ... and waiting and hoping.

CVS results were clear. People keep telling me, "oh you had a false positive?" ... silly people I say, it will be a false positive when I have a healthy NO PROBLEMS baby in my arms after a full term of gestating.

You know?

[Jb]

hang in there. no news is NOT bad news - oh, and my experience with FISH has been closer to 48/60 hrs post CVS...waiting is fucking hard.

[Aurelia]

Fuck fuck fuck fuck

If I was in Rochester right now, I would break into the damn lab on your behalf, steal the report and get it to you....grrrrr.

The irony of all this being that someone IS in that lab 24/7, they have to be to watch the cultures and check on them, they just can't call you direct, they have to give the result to the useless lazy Doctor, who will then call you.

And he probably hasn't called you directly because he really was sure everything is okay. Saaayyy, you have his pager number don't you? It's not just the office number right? So what if they're not open, page 'em!

All I can say is I hope the Mayo clinic PR people have seen this and are feeling ashamed. After rescuing you so nicely, to just not bother to call is so awful. I just can't understand it.

[laura]

CALL THEM!!! CALL THEM!!! NOW!!! NOW!!! NOW!!! How DARE they make you wait like this?!?!? If I wasn't half a country away I'd go to the lab in person and KICK ASS on your behalf, HIPPA be damned! Meanwhile I am raging prayerfully (or prayerfully raging!) for you in L.A.!

[Kathleen]

If the lab were a person, I'd want to punch it in the face.

Your Mom sounds great. Have a good visit.

[Reese]

I loved (read: cringed) and the Fourth stories. Hoping they call will the results soon!

[nate]

Hoping for:
1) Happy FISH results
2) Quick recovery of the abdominal region
3) A good visit w/ your mom

Can you tell I just spent 2 days with powerpoint?

[Monica]

Can I ask a question? Maybe somewhere on your blog you may have covered this but I am going to ask anyway. I have been apparently guilty of inserting foot into mouth with total disreguard to an IF'ers feelings. I am that ignorant person who has said on more then one occasion relax it will happen and the dreaded just buy something you can't afford and you will be pregnant before the first payment arrives. What is an appropriate response? I really feel so bad now that I realize I have been unknowingly torturing some friends and family. Ugh...what should I go back and say that would be supportive. What is the right thing to say when someone shares their struggle with you. I apologize and I am ashamed.

[Becca]

Have a great visit with your mom. And let her do everything for you while she's visiting. You need a break!

[Cat, Galloping]

If that were my mom, she'd hold it against me for, like, ever!

(So, does your mom being there mean a delay in your telling us when you hear?)

[Julia]

I am coward. I do not know why I have not called the Mayo. I guess because I am typing this? And then I need to put the strawberries in the refrigerator? Actually, what IS the best way to keep fresh strawberries for more than 15 minutes? Do you know?

Monica, good news! On behalf of all infertile and subfertile people everywhere... I forgive you. You may print this out like a papal dispensation.

We all say stupid things to people all the time. I am personally guilty of being horrifically insensitive on more than one occasion to the fact that my sisters-in-law lost their mother to breast cancer. I don't MEAN to be an asshole; I just don't always remember tender areas. So we do the best we can and unless you are calling your infertile friends at 3am to say, "See? Aren't you glad you don't have a baby waking you up at this hour EVERY night?" I think you are fine.

We kick around the "right" things to say a lot and I think we have collectively decided that "I'm sorry" follwed by "let me know if you ever want to talk/not talk/ go out for a stiff drink" is in the appropriate range of responses.

And the point of this post was that sometimes we (infertiles) are just big pains in the ass and nothing you say or do is going to be received very well.

[marta]

Fertility is not a soft or hard marker for presence of pain-in-the-assedness syndrom. It's not even hereditory. Some od us - the pains in or out of the asses- are simply born with it. Then we get to live with it and comment on other pains' sites.

Call. Call. Fespite and in spite of your logical inclinations.

[terri c]

Put the strawberries into the fridge!! Actually I think eating them immediately with a light dusting of sugar is the best thing to do. And resting, to calm the sore abdomen. Since at present the stiff drink is not an option, I think cold fresh strawberries on demand should be yours for the asking. And it goes without saying, I hope, that I am pulling for you all.

[Jill]

Limbo sucks. So does a pained uterus. If I could will this to work out for you, I would.

[Lisa V]

I have a whole list of things I need papal dispensation for- some of them as far back as 1979. Please let me know if you are going to be taking this on as second career and I will forward said offenses to you.

My whole body is crossed for good results.

[Leggy]

I'm sorry: a) that you are uncomfortable, b) that the lab hasn't called and c) that someone was stupid enough to ask if you were pregnant. I think an appropriate response would have been to look at them coldly and say "no, why do I look like I've gained weight?"

[Leggy]

Oh, and totally ask for that refund. If they can't deliver in 24 hours (or 48 or 72 as it now appears), then you shouldn't be paying for it.

[Meredith]

This is physically painful for you & all of us lurking out here, desperate to share in your good news SOON!

[jkmcgoo]

Have to confess to Monica that buying costly fitted clothing was something I did for years convinced that buying tailored-to-me pants would bring on a pregnancy. I built a rather, if I may say so myself, impressive "infertility wardrobe." It didn't bring on a pregnancy, but retail therapy worked for my mental state.

That was, of course, until a cousin I can't stand got pregnant after three years of trying (at the time, I had been trying for four) and informed me that "now that she had a child we had nothing in common and that I was obviously more interested in lifestyle than life."

Ah, screw her, I still like my clothes.

[Erin]

I've had to call for every lab result I've ever had from Mayo (which has been, well, a lot of them). So don't be afraid to call. The nurses will call back within an hour.

[Cris]

Jeez. I don't know how you stand it. I can barely wait for your results - I don't know how you are!

[e]

You caaaan put strawberries in the fridge, but they taste terrible cold unless you can remember to get them out about an hour before you want to eat them again. The absolute best way to keep them is not to, eat them straight away.

[SHannon]

I am sure you know this, but drink lots and lots of water, the best way to calm the tightening down is to be well hydrated.

[Anita]

UPDATE!

I'm embarrassing myself my how much I'm stalking your blog!!

[Lisa]

Do I need to call the Mayo? You're killing me here!

[Cheryl]

I happen to work for a laboratory that has a partnership with Mayo Laboratories. I know, for instance, that our lab is open 24/7 - 365 days a year because we are located in a hospital ... and I also believe the same to be true for Mayo. If I were you (and only if you are so inclined), I would try my luck and call the lab directly to get your results.

[Susy]

Hey-how about I call Mayo? What's the number?

[Drowned Girl]

I keep checking back to see if there's news. How big IS the US.. if this was me, in England, I'd be on the doorstep by now!

[Slim]

Call call call. A doctor once kinda reprimanded me for not calling for results --I did, once, felt blown off, figured they'd call when got them, which was bad figuring-- and I learned that if a doctor is off, s/he may assume that the replacement will call. Meanwhile, the replacement thinks the doctor will call . . .
So the person who should call is you.

[Heather]

I'm being compulsive but not in a stalker kind of way. I hope the silence today is because you are surrounded by family and laughing -that's what we all want for you. I'm thinking of you and hope all is well.

[Jb]

news?
hoping....

[Monica]

Julia...I feel better, Thank You. I have some other unrelated thoughtless things I have said in hindsight. I am creating a list as we speak for your forgiveness and papal dispensation.

Jkmcgoo...Retail therapy is a highly underated coping strategy, as is chocolate and a good massage.

All my fingers and toes are crossed for you Julia!

[Beth]

Trying not to stalk you via your blog, but I've been checking and checking and checking to see what Mayo said...

I hope you're enjoying your mom's company while you wait, and I hope even more that you are doing okay.

[Lisa]

Me too - the stalking, the hoping.