Patrick The Planner

My morning sickness is actually getting worse and I am not amused. Not amused at all. We had friends (blogger. great pal of mine. her part of the story is more interesting than mine so I will have her tell it - I just played the innkeeper) here for a quick visit and I had to take Reglan more than once in order to function. I am not a big fan of the anti-nausea medications but I have found them to be helpful when it is not possible to just go back to bed. And I have gained a couple of pounds, so apart from how gross it is to throw up things are ok.

I was just telling Steve how much I am enjoying being pregnant. It's fun to swing my arms and brush my elbows against parts of me that were not there a week ago. The twin thing has added a fast-forward feature to the pregnancy that I like. I don't remember when I started to really show with Patrick but I know it wasn't by 14 weeks. This time, though, there is already a crevasse forming between my breasts and my abdomen. Julie (whoops) looked at me last night and said, with surprise, "You look really pregnant" and I responded like any rational woman would by beaming and flashing her. It pleases me to be all roundifying.

I still cannot believe we are actually going to have another baby (babies!) but I have decided it does not matter whether I believe it or not. I can enjoy the process no matter how surreal it is continuing to feel.

Oh, and bummer about Patrick's prognosticating but I have gleaned further insight into his "black lightning" dream and I am forced to conclude that he might simply be observant not prescient. I was strolling naked through my bathroom (as one does)...

oh curses. The fraud department for our credit card company just called to confirm that Steve or I have been merrily charging gas all day in Miami, Florida. Um, no, although the eyebrow waxing in Minnesota WAS mine and I told them so in a manly, straightforward fashion that well became me. There is something about being ripped off that is just so fucking annoying, zero liability fraud protection notwithstanding. You lose your perspective momentarily, such that I just told Steve that I think it is sort of a pity we don't live in a digitally controlled totalitarian society in which the next time those thieves go to swipe our bogus card they would be surrounded instantly by robotic cops. Or electrocuted, Steve added helpfully.

I am not having a great day, all things considered....

but anyway,

I was naked in the bathroom and I glanced at myself in profile and noticed that I have these outrageously dark veins streaking across my lower abdomen. Veins that look more or less EXACTLY like the lightning on the book Patrick showed me. So much for Nostrapatricus. And, I dunno, I hadn't been thinking two boys myself. I had been thinking a boy and a girl, with B as the girl. Whether this is wishful thinking (covers all the bases, doesn't it?) or the fact that someone pointed out that the two vessel cord is more prevalent in females or the fact that the genetics counselor did start the FISH results by saying, "Well, fetus AAAAAAAAAAAAA..." as if fetus BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB would then be different I don't know. And as much as you guys snickered at the idea I can make it through weekly ultrasounds in the third trimester without finding out the sexes... well, we'll try.

We did finally tell Patrick that we think we are having babies and he has been so sweet about it he could be used as a sundae topping. I am really relieved. I was nervous although it helped to hear the stories of children who had complete meltdowns and... well, wound up being an older brother or sister anyway.

We went camping a few days ago (why? because we had agreed to meet friends who were on their way from Chicago to Wyoming and because I significantly underestimated just how often I get up to relieve myself in the middle of the night and just how crappily I would sleep) and had a three hour drive to the camp site. En route Steve and I started talking about re-doing the upstairs and solicited Patrick's views on how that should be done. The plans for our house called for four bedrooms upstairs. We assume that the people who actually built the house decided rather late in the process to just not add a wall, so two of the bedrooms form one long room with a fixed glass panel in one doorway. We originally had a TV and playroom there but when Steve finished the basement that moved downstairs. Now it is rarely used except as an awkward space for extra guests when the other guest rooms are full or when people sleeping upstairs have children they want to be near but not with or when Patrick wants to do something that requires uninterrupted space. We had always planned on turning that are into two separate rooms and now seems like as good a time as any, since that will let us keep a guest room up there and possibly have two different rooms for the, ah, 13a/b.

So Steve and I were discussing this and asked for Patrick's opinion and he seemed to think the extra room would be used for his cousin when he comes to visit. Remembering that more than a few of you had urged me to seize my opportunities, I said, "Actually, Patrick, your cousin can certainly sleep there when he comes to see us but we think we are having two babies later this year so it will be their room most of the time."

Patrick immediately asked, "You think so? Why do you think so?"

I said, "Well, maybe you can come with me to my next doctor's appointment to make sure, but it seems pretty certain."

Patrick said, "Oh."

Steve said, "How does that sound to you?"

Patrick said, "It sounds good."

And we all sort of left it at that for a while.

Since then Patrick has been delighting me with his random thoughts on the subject:

while eating a sandwich - "Hey! I will be a big brother and they will be either small brothers or small sisters or a small brother and a small sister."

while playing with cars - "Whoa! WHERE are we going to get baby food?"

while bathing - "You know, the babies can just sleep together in my old crib. They can even sleep in my room. I won't wake up."

while driving to camp - "Good thing you saved those old baby cups of mine."

while surveying the long bedroom - "The new wall will need to go here. And we are going to need some hinges."       

All things considered, he took the news quite well.   

I have a post up at REDBOOK (it went up Monday, actually, but I assume it is still there somewhere) about the really dopey thing I did this weekend and I will probably get a new one in tomorrow about... something equally gripping.

Hope you are well. It's hot here again.

Comments

[Compa]

I am still of the Aaaaaa and Beeee opinion. And I love that, despite being a supergenius, the logistics of where one finds baby food escape Patrick.

[Pam L]

and... " Whoa! WHERE are we going to get baby food?" !!Ha ha, priceless! I'm sure you will be having many more interesting conversations with Patrick in the upcoming months. My youngest/only one still at home, is now feeling the pangs of being the last and wishes he had a sibling still at home. Not happening via me, and he knows that, but still. He is lonely, his nephews, who are both about his age, thanks to a previously married husband and an almost 36 yr old step son, just left after a week's visit so it is quieter than ever for him. I'm guessing it won't be quiet in your house for many years to come.

[JuliaKB]

Patrick is going to be a kick-ass big brother. Just wait until he decided he wants to learn to MAKE baby food.
And if all of you are comfortable with it, take him to the next ultrasound. It really helped Monkey solidify the whole "my brother" concept. I think Patrick would find it absolutely fascinating.
That thing over at Redbook? Hilarious, although I fully appreciate that it was not at all funny at the time.

[Linda]

For the record, we never found out the sexes of our girls (well, until BIRTH) despite near constant ultrasounds starting at 20 weeks. It's not that hard, I promise.

Also, Patrick's reaction is adorable.

[Kim]

How sweet! I am so glad to hear he took the news well. He will be a great big brother, I have a feeling.

[victoria]

Awwww. Patrick is already being all practical and solution-oriented and planner-like. He's gearing up to be a good big brother.

[Abby]

Your happiness exudes. And I'm so happy FOR you, too! That is all.

[Kez]

Patrick: Best. Kid. Ever.

[Jen]

Patrick is going to be an amazing big brother. And I must admit to getting a bit weepy at his comment about the cups, thinking of those poor cups waiting all these years for new babies to drink from them! And now they will!

Oh, and I'm sorry about the credit card fraud situation. I was amused to realize that my credit card company did not bat an eye at charges I made in Budapest, but the ones I made in Ohio set off its warning bells. Good luck getting that resolved.

[Lisa V]

We never found out the sex of any of our children. Of course we aren't the best at reading ultrasounds. Last week my daughter found her 20 week ultrasound, she pointed to a certain place on the screen and said "What's that?" and I said "Hell if I know, a dinosaur maybe?"

Sorry about the card jacking. It's such a violation of personal security. The world of Minority Report is temptins, but then we would have to put up with Tom Cruise running it. Shiver.

[Socal]

You know a bit of my humor. The twins will be born around Christmas time. In order to preserve Patrick's good opinion of his little siblings, may I suggest earplugs for Patrick's stocking? I'm telling you, he'll count them as his fav present after a few weeks.

So, tell the truth - are you the type of parent who after the "Whoa, where are we going to get baby food" question considered beginning the discussion about the merits of breastfeeding w/ Patrick?

If I didn't say, I was thinking it from afar - I still want to join a book club with Patrick and argue over whether or not Charles Dickens was a case study in clinical depression or whether it was Marlowe/Shakespeare/Bacon who gifted us with the histories, tragedies and comedies. Patrick and I would end up arm wrestling for the right to state our individual position.

[MollieBee]

Holy crap Patrick is a sweetie.

[Geohde]

I can understand why being pregnant after so much freaking distress-and-doom with TWO healthy babies is so wonderful for you. Glad you're really enjoying it, despite the vomit thing.

[Susan]

I like Patrick.

[jaybee]

i have three boys so i'm rooting for you to join the club. There's nothing like being the only girl in a house churning with testosterone to make your days go faster....

[e]

From his problem-solving approach to any situation, I'm imagining Patrick as Steve's mini-me (the bits of Steve you describe anyway...) Am very impressed by Patrick, also by your opportunistic telling of the, er... 13 a/b.

[Reese]

Patrick is amazing and I can't wait to hear the Big Brother stories to come. Yay!

[caroline]

Just thought you should know we made it through weekly ultrasound appointments and didn't find out! It can be done. You just have to be super dilligent about reminding the tech. and Dr. NOT to mention any sexes. It gets so tight in there it is actually pretty hard to distinguish most things. I highly recommend the suprise - it was a pretty cool moment!

So happy for you!!!

[kristin]

I discovered your blog about a month ago and have read through the archives. Now that I'm caught up, and have read of all you've been through, it's so fun to hear about you planning for your two new babies. You seem so happy and it's sooo deserved. I'm going through my first IVF cycle, and will find out tomorrow if it worked. You've really been an inspiration to me in the last few weeks, so thanks for sharing your story.

[Christiana]

I can only pray that my first child will be as spectacular as yours. What a riot. Sorry you're feeling crappy - shouldn't it be fading by now? All the best to you - you're the greatest!

[Mandy]

Sounds like Patrick is on his way to being very excited. :)

[Elin]

I'm so glad everything went well with telling Patrick. I had no doubts at all that you and he would handle things just fine.

About the weather; yeah, it HAS been hot up there, hasn't it? You'd expect that kind of heat here in Dallas, but not there in the Great White North! Luckily, you will miss the summer months for the last months of your pregnancy....THAT can get miserable.

Getting back to Patrick - you've probably already thought of this, but you MUST be sure to get some professional belly pics of you and Packy together once you get bigger. The time can slip away so quickly when you're pregnant, and it's such a special time; you'd not want to miss capturing a special memory like that. I've already got a visual....Patrick lying his head on your belly while sweetly looking up at the camera...giving your belly a kiss...drawing letters on your belly with fingerpaint.....

Gush!

[Naomi]

I looove the baby food comment! Hopefully, finding baby food will be your biggest problem!

[Melanie]

Lucky your credit card company has some sense. I reported mine stolen, so they let the thief buy whatever she wanted but almost had ME arrested for using my own card.

Could be worse. They could be buying all that gas for their brand new boat!

[Jennifer]

That kid never ceases to amaze me-what a pragmatic yet sweet little soul. I agree with the suggestion for pictures with you and Patrick, they would be precious!

As for your Redbook entry, I did something very similar to that but I WASN'T pregnant at the time. I did manage to flood the fish department at the pet store I worked at. Something about filling a 55 gallon garbage can with a hose, forgetting it, and going to luch for 30 minutes....

[sara]

Yay! I love the Patrick entries! The letter/number fixations, the commentary, his willingness and eagerness about this! Keep them coming!

[Libby]

"Nostrapatricus" So, so funny.

I am glad he took the news well.

[Professordog]

"We are going to need some hinges" cracked me up, for some reason.

[Esme]

"You know, the babies can just sleep together in my old crib. They can even sleep in my room. I won't wake up."

So sweet!

[Heather]

Congratulations on telling Patrick! He's going to be an awesome big brother! His comments are so sweet.

[Aurelia]

Oh my God, what a great story! And the Redbook thing? Done it THREE times.... and I was pregnant every single time. I'm now considering getting one of those overflow sinks, with a special giant warning beacon just for mw, "Hey you! There's a flood!!!!"

[Aurelia]

Whoops, that "mw" should be "me".

[Penny]

Here's another anecdote, statistically meaningless thing that it is. Someone chatted with us for a while about his boy (because he was the same age as our girl). His wife had weekly ultrasounds and the girl diagnosis was repeatedly affirmed until the ultrasound done 3 days before birth.

So even people who wanted to know and thought they knew repeatedly didn't know.

I'm all for surprises - since I'm living the illusion that you'll do what I want. Ha.

[Meli]

Just have to say that I am so completely happy for all of you! I'm the very lucky mommy of boy-girl twins. They are fantastic.

Patrick is so sweet. He will be the best big brother ever!

[julie B]

I'm guessing boy/girl. Patrick is so gorgeous!

[Meegan]

For the life of me I cannot figure out how to post a comment on your Redbook site. I'm logged in, I see "Post A Comment" but there is nowhere to "click". Ugh. This is my problem, not yours. I just wanted to suggest that you hit Target and Old Navy for maternity clothes. But don't buy actual maternity yet. Buy yourself some clothes that you'll wear after you have the babies. And to beat a dead horse, get yourself a bella band too! They're great. Embrace the seasons empire waistbands and longer tops. Half the styles out there right now look like maternity to me anyway. Happy shopping!

[Robbie]

I left my house today around 10 a.m. and returned at 3:30 only to find I had not closed the garage door. I find a lot of little PB moments happening to me lately

[Reese]

RE: Redbook post about in between wear (because registering to comment is blech)

I wore larger sized jean and/or regular jeans with a hair tie through the button holes with a tight maternity tanktop and large button down shirt. The under-clothes fit well and the over shirt covered up the unsightly bumps that the hair-tie/button hole look created. Not very original but at least I was able to leave the house.

[Christine]

Patrick's little observations made me laugh. He's going to be a great big brother.

[Yak]

This is actually responding to your REDBOOK post because I'm too lazy to login there. My guiding principle for my second pregnancy (Feb delivery whereas the first was born in Aug) was: this is the last pregnancy and I am SO not going to spend any serious money on maternity clothes. So early on I did some safety-pinning the old maternity pants until I got bigger, and I relied on wicked cheap stuff from Target and Old Navy. It's great if you can find clothes intended for large women rather than pregnant ones. I did this with a winter coat -- I went to a used-clothing store and bought a gigantic wool coat that was cut loose to begin with. I had to roll the cuffs up, but by the due date I could still button it, which matters a lot more than looking tres chic when you're pregnant, I think.

[ajsmom]

I get much inspiration from you (and your sweet son!!) and wanted you to know. I am thrilled for you! I have a BT and one son, and after 7 m/cs, we are giving it another shot. I need all the strength I can get, and just so you know, your blog provides me with a bit of what I need. THANKS, Julia!!

[kathleen999]

The one crib thing reminded me of how sweet our boys looked tucked up in one crib together. We had two cribs, but they shared one for quite a while. It was adorable.

Miss those days. You have great times ahead.

[SarahV]

This has nothing to do with the post you just wrote; I'm just answering your latest question at Redbook because I can't be bothered with all the palaver of registering with them in order to post a comment there, not to mention the passing concerns over just whom they might then choose to pass my e-mail address to.

Elasticated waistbands. And my loosest trousers with the top hanging outside them so that I can leave the top button undone (mine seem to stay up perfectly well this way, but I've heard that a rubber band looped around the button and through the buttonhole is a useful trick if they don't). This does not leave me with a huge choice of outfits, but it is seeing me through that awkward betwixt-and-between stage and I am supplementing increasingly often with maternity trousers, usually when I'm not going anywhere where I care that much who sees me (I'm frankly not *that* bothered if total strangers in the supermarket think I look stupid, but if it's people at my son's Tumbletots class whom I can expect to see again then I do think twice). I've now got quite a definite belly, so I think I'll fairly shortly be able to launch into full-time maternity wear without feeling like too much of an idiot.

For another opinion, I will add that Vicki Iovine (she of the Girlfriends' Guides to the various stages of imminent and actual parenthood) says that the only way to get through this stage is by buying a whole new wardrobe of clothes in the next size up. I was highly reluctant to put in this kind of money and time, so the first time around I managed to get by with my existing clothes by using the tricks above, thinking, ha, in your face, Vicki Iovine. In the interim between pregnancies I unfortunately managed to rip a pair of elasticated trousers which had previously formed an absolute linchpin of my mid-pregnancy wardrobe and, since they were past repair, this has limited me somewhat this time around. So I did buy a new skirt with an elasticated waistband, which I wasn't too bothered about shelling out for as it was a decent price and looked like something I'd be able to wear once no longer pregnant. Unfortunately I have now managed to rip this too - still wearable around the house, but nowhere else. Damn. I am truly not safe around clothes. But hopefully this advice will be of some help.

[cursingmama]

just checking on all of my local bloggy friends & acquaintances after yesterdays tragedy. Hope that you & yours are safe & sound.