Summer Of Patrick

Someone left a comment this week referencing Patrick and his old letter obsession. I was thinking about mentioning in my next post that he just isn't that into the alphabet anymore, which is sort of sad but three year old Bizarro Patrick really has morphed into five year old Totally Average Patrick. Then he sat down at the table yesterday and asked for a sheet of paper and a pen. No, no, a BLACK pen with a soft end.

"I am going to make an alphabetized font list," he told me.

After mentally checking to see if this would require any exertion on my part whatsoever (it wouldn't) I said, "Great!"

Reading top to bottom he gives you:

Apple (the little lines are teeth marks), Arrow, Art (made of paintbrushes), Berry, Bubble, Bib (for the babies), Cloud and (my favorite) Claw. These are, of course, all covered by applicable copyRIGHT laws so don't even THINK about stealing them, Redmond.   

It's been a while since I have done a Patrick update and I have been thinking about what he is up to these days. We did wind up canceling the YMCA camp, which was absolutely the right decision for me although we will never know if it was right for him. He might have had the best summer ever but I would have worried myself into a decline, rationally or not. There's always next year.

Montessori camp has been great, though. I think. I don't know. Maybe? He is so sparing it what he tells me that I never have a clear idea of how his morning went. He goes every other week for three hours a day and it is working nicely that way. Large chunks of boring summertime whatever with me spiced with little nuggets of kid-filled Montessori goodness. And yesterday he came home positively reeking of sunscreen (with white streaks still visible in his ears) so my big camp sunburn worry is obviously being managed. They took them to the zoo one day, which extended his morning all the way until 2 pm, and I admit that I was a nervous-wreck the whole time. I couldn't shake the belief that they were going to lose him. This will shock you, I know, but with Steve and I both having been around all day every day since birth, Patrick is rather used to be kept track of at all times. He is always free to wander off toward the shark tank to read the sign because of course Steve or I will know where he is and magically appear when he turns around again. Somehow I doubted that the adults chaperoning the field trip would be as vigilant in keeping Patrick from, say, hopping on the monorail as I am. Before the big day I drilled him repeatedly on what he should do in the event he got separated from the group. Look for a zoo volunteer wearing a purple vest, I told him. If you do not see one in the immediate area find a mommy with kids and tell her you are lost.

"Orrrrrrrrrr," said Patrick brightly, "I can just keep going! Until I get to the parking lot!"

I slammed my head against the table and contemplated stapling his camp name and the number 9-1-1 to his front and back in two foot high letters like a sandwich board. Steve took him that morning and I made him swear that he would pull Patrick's teacher aside and make him promise to keep both eyes on Patrick. Steve said the teacher responded by saying, "Oh, Patrick's a good listener. He'll be fine."

I asked Steve if he had then picked Patrick up bodily and held him aloft, saying, "No. THIS child is Patrick" as clearly the teacher had him confused with some other kid. If Patrick is a "good listener" I am Marie of Romania.

I was 10 minutes early to pick him up that day and when I hugged him hello I might have felt him a little more than usual for broken bones. It was as I was checking him surreptitiously for seal bites that this very nice older woman approached me. She looked as if she had come straight from central casting in response to a call for Sweet, Midwestern Grandmotherly Type.

She walked over and said, "I just had to come and tell Patrick's mommy what a great helper he was today. I am Henry's grandma and Patrick was in my group. My other two boys got a little rambunctious but Patrick was good as good."

I thanked her and thought how sad it was that she was losing her mind so young. I love Patrick. Heaven knows I love the child, but I honestly cannot think of a single time in which he has displayed a rudimentary, let alone exemplary, willingness to cooperate.

Do children become completely different people when their parents aren't around?

I was going to talk about other things but I promised I would take the boy outside and that was 15 minutes ago. So, next time.

OH! Before I forget, very important question. Socks! Patrick loves to wear mismatched socks, the more brightly colored the better. The Baby Gap 4-5 years socks were treating us ok, but the color selection was a little prep school boring: navy, cream, brown and khaki. I found some fabulous (girls, I suppose, but what difference is there in feet?) lime, turquoise and purple socks at the children's place but they are now the size of tiny little thimbles after about 6 spins through the washing machine. I need a good place to get some fun socks in the next size up from the biggest baby Gap ones. Any suggestions? I thought I could get him a grab bag full and make it his Welcome to Kindergarten present (a gift occasion I have just this minute invented).         

Comments

[electric boogaloo]

I am hugging Patrick right through the screen. Those fonts are amazing. I keep meaning to email you about letter obsessedness but you've had a little going on with all the babies and whatnot. But holy cow, those fonts are incredible.

[electric boogaloo]

I am hugging Patrick right through the screen. Those fonts are amazing. I keep meaning to email you about letter obsessedness but you've had a little going on with all the babies and whatnot. But holy cow, those fonts are incredible.

[Daisie]

To JenniB
"I am a teacher (elementary school) and this question is asked A LOT at parent-teacher conferences when I say, "Johnny is such a helper!" or some other compliment...the parents invariably say, "Are we talking about the same child??"

On the opposite end, sometimes the kids are......challenging. :) Their parents think they are perfect and refuse to believe anything other than 100% positive about their child. The other teachers and I always want to ask, "Have you met your child lately?"

[carosgram]

I noticed how many people confirmed that children do become completely different when away from their parents. However as a school principal I have to tell it is not always for the better. Be grateful for Patrick!

[Pam L]

"Do children become completely different people when their parents aren't around?"

Yes. The first time my older son spent any time at someone's house and I was told what a helpful polite person he was, I was stunned. Not that he was a horrible brat, I just assumed he might be like some of his friends that came to MY house and forgot how to speak, as in please and thank you. And they would make a point of telling me how pleasant he was, which was so nice to hear.
About those socks though, you might want to wait before you buy a ton of them. It may not hold true for Patrick, but when my boys went to Elementary school, they suddenly became aware of what other kids wore, had, did, played with etc. and were more likely to want to fit in rather than stand out in the fashion department. Or maybe that's my boys, but you might end up with a whole sack of brightly colored socks and a kid who will now only wear white, or gray or black. I'm just sayin.

[Penny]

We also think our girl is different while under the care of other adults. We tend to hear that she's better than we expected (we always wonder how polite people are being), but perhaps those who perceive a brat aren't saying so. And who'd blame them?

As for socks - I immediately thought Hanna Anderson as well, but that's been suggested. I looked at their web site and find the current inventory limited (under the boys or girls departments). I think they update their styles often (they'd have sales a handful of times a year to clear out old stock - which is when we buy things). So I think you can check back later, though not sure if that'd be in time for the school year. Perhaps by the time the babies (babies!) arrive, there'll be a better & improved Hanna Anderson sock inventory.

Of course, I'm sure plenty other places sell socks.

And yes - I love those fonts. Who wouldn't?

[laughing mommy]

There have been a few people who recommended Old Navy socks so I feel I should tell you my experience with them. They fade and shrink. I have two girls and I decided not to save the Old Navy socks to hand down because they looked so bad.

Gymboree socks hold up great, don't fade as much and keep their shape.

I've hated all the socks I've ever bought from Walmart and Target.

Love Carter's socks, but do they make them for 5 year olds? I should find out because their baby socks are the BEST... babies can't kick them off! And they are cute too.

[Karen O]

There was a little girl in the elementary school where I work who wore mismatched socks. At first, I thought it was accidental and since she was the kind of child I could kid with, I would comment on her socks. As the years went by and her socks NEVER matched, I realized that sock choices expressed her unique sense of humor. I liked imagining her picking out her sock combinations as a fun way to start the day.

Anyway, by the time she reached fifth grade, the last grade in our building, I noticed that her socks always matched and it saddened me. Did she feel the need to conform? Did fifth grade maturity dictate that socks should match? Was someone else doing the laundry and now sorted socks were showing up in her drawer? I'll never know, but I missed the jaunty look of her mismatched socks.

So - cheers to Patrick and his socks - may they give you all an extra grin!

[Shannon]

"Do children become completely different people when their parents aren't around?"

Yes. I know exactly what those women mean, and I'm sure Patrick is a great listener and good as good for the teachers and others at school. As a former preschool teacher I can vouch that kids act really differently for teachers in school than they do for their parents. Ditto baby sitters.

[unexplained]

"Do children become completely different people when their parents aren't around?"

I'm starting to think that. Our 6-y-o has been with us a year and went to a camp that several of my colleagues were involved in. All of them raved "she's just wonderful! what a little sweetheart" - which, okay, she CAN be a sweetheart... then today was the last day of another camp and her certificate specifically mentioned being a "good listener" - so why couldn't she remember a single thing they did during camp when I picked her up at the end of the day? :)

[the aitch]

EEeeeeee! I am so excited because Patrick will obviously grow up to be a graphic designer like meeeeee!!!!1111

[Rowan]

Yup totally different.
The kiddos I babysit can't be the least bothered when mom or dad show them something, but if I show them? They'll talk about it all the next day. :)

[Jen A]

I'm beginning to feel like the parent of a freak because my DD seems to be exactly the same away from me as she is with me, LOL.

About the socks, I've never bought Hanna Andersson ones, but everything else they makes completely and totally rocks, so I'm betting their socks are great. My DD hasn't worn socks all summer, so I can't remember where we last bought them, LOL.

[midlife mommy]

My daughter has "multiple personalities" as well. At daycare, she's helpful, usually has her "listening ears" on, and follows the rules. She must use all of her reserves up at daycare, because she is a little diva when she gets home (at least to the extent we let her be).

[JuliaKB]

Of course kids are different when parents are not around. Especially if they get to be important helpers.

I get (girl, but what's the difference? :)) socks in large packs at Costco. Very colorful and do well in the washing machine so far.

The fonts? Too cool. I think you should put him to work doing graphic design. He can make enough to support that upstairs renovation, don't you think? :)

[Dara]

Patrick is a bloody genius!!!!!

[Chickenpig]

YES children are ABSOLUTELY different for their teachers, grandparents, nannies, aunts uncles and total random strangers than they are for YOU. Especially smart children that can asses a situation quickly and adjust accordingly. I can't tell you how many times I've told a parent "Your son read a story to us today, and helped little Suzie make it up the climber." to a parent who was certain that their son was the antichrist, or "Your little girl pushed Johnny down the slide, refused to nap, and threw her juice box at the teacher aid" to protests of "What! my little angel? NO NEVER!"

I got some great very cool socks at a mega warehouse place this week that were made by Osh Kosh. They had nice colored ones and cool patterned ones in packs of 6. I haven't washed them yet, but it's Osh Kosh, so I'm assuming (quite possibly to my detriment)that they are made to last.

You do realize that with twins coming you will either 1)go nuts because you and Steve are hopelessly outnumbered 2) be a little more relaxed with your parenting and/or trust other people who help you 3)get a nanny/and or relative to be with you 24/7 or 4) a combination of or all of the above. My twin toddlers are very smart, think that listening to me about anything is optional, and have already figured out that if they move quickly in opposite directions I can only catch one of them.

[Jill]

I have a friend who has 4 boys, and she always knows where they are- because they stay close to her. As I was talking to her and admiring this wonderful mothering I must learn, I realized I couldn't find my 1 - and he was, indeed, in the parking lot, on his way to the car.

I love that Patrick is still interested in fonts.

[Liz]

Okay, I would totally buy a T-shirt with those fonts printed on them. Proceeds to Packy's college fund?

Pretty please?

[stacy]

I teach kindergarten religious school, and one little girl was SILENT. Followed directions, played with the others, seemed content, but would. not. talk. At pickup one day a few sessions into the year, her parents approached. As I was about to ask them if we should be concerned and if there was anything we could try to help their daughter communicate, the mom burst out with "so how's L? has she talked your ear off yet?" Apparently her parents could barely get a word in edgewise at home, and she'd talked so much in secular school that her parents had to come in for a conference!

so yes, kids are different in different settings. the girl did start talking and had a bunch of friends, but she could never be described as a chatterbox.

[another Julia]

Boden has a few cute boys socks: http://www.bodenusa.com/col.asp?segname=Mini&styid=28023&segid=5&gpname=Accessories&desname=Boys%27+Socks&gpid=1&gen=2
www.kidsurplus.com has a bunch from Stride Rite that are kind of cool, especially in the girls section.

[ceedee]

Yes, kids act differently when mom or dad aren't around. At least I like to think so! ;-)

If no one else has mentioned it, you might check Hanna Andersson: http://www.hannaandersson.com. I know Patrick is all boy, but HA sells mismatched socks in its girls line and they are really colorful. He'd probably love them.

[Rebekah]

Ummm, yeah. Kids definitely act different (read:oftentimes BETTER) for others than they will for their parents. Kinds like they sometimes do for their Dads. Jerks. ;)

[Rayne of Terror]

We like Healthtex socks which have lots of stretch and good colors. We get them at a Healthtex/Jockey outlet store.

[Nicole]

Socks -- too tired to see if this has been mentioned yet:

http://www.littlemissmatched.com/

Love them!

[Adrienne]

I love Patrick's font list! I think my favorite is "Bib," but I respect "Claw" as well. He's so creative - what a gem! (And thanks for sharing :)).

[terri c]

Patrick? Totally average??? Um, not so much. LOVE the fonts.

[cathy]

i have nephews who are ten and eight, it always amazes their mom that i never have a single problem with them. i haven't gotten up enough nerve to leave with the three year old yet, the vote is still out on him! i was taking the older boys out at that age, but oh my.....

[Slim]

Yes, different. I think a lot of it has to do with the setting. In my experience, on playdates, the host child is bound to misbehave and the guest child will be an angel. This has been true even on playdates at which my kid was the guest but I stuck around briefly to have a quick coffee with the other mom.
It's the home field disadvantage, I guess.

[Becky]

"Do children become completely different people when their parents aren't around?"

Umm...yeah. Come on Julia, you must remember being five. You know what you can get away with from mom and dad...teachers and counselors and friends' parents are an entirely different matter.

[Amy]

I second the Old Navy socks, like Gap but cheaper, stay one well, hold up well, my 3-year old son is obsessed with the aqua ones I bought for my daughter, wears them whenever he can get his hands on them. :)

[Amy]

I second the Old Navy socks, like Gap but cheaper, stay one well, hold up well, my 3-year old son is obsessed with the aqua ones I bought for my daughter, wears them whenever he can get his hands on them. :)

[Amy]

I second the Old Navy socks, like Gap but cheaper, stay one well, hold up well, my 3-year old son is obsessed with the aqua ones I bought for my daughter, wears them whenever he can get his hands on them. :)

[Amy]

I second the Old Navy socks, like Gap but cheaper, stay one well, hold up well, my 3-year old son is obsessed with the aqua ones I bought for my daughter, wears them whenever he can get his hands on them. :)

[liz]

My child is viewed as a complete angel at school. Little do they know...

Oh, and one of the best tips I have for things like the Fair or any big group event is to write your cell phone number on your child's stomach in Sharpie. It washes off reasonably quickly, but the cops can find the number.

[Melissa]

Have you tried Hanna Andersson?
http://www.hannaandersson.com/

[Leslie]

Oh my god are you kidding?! I'm always amazed at the difference in my son depending on his audience. From angel to wild man to intellectual... oy.

Socks - Joy of Socks has a whole mismatched line that should make Patrick happy -
http://www.joyofsocks.com/limima.html

And the fonts - holy freakin' cow!

[L]

Wow. The fonts are simply amazing. Patrick is quite an artist. I love it.

As for behaving differently my older one is the same and all I have to say is Thank God :) I still don't know about my younger one and I must admit that I do worry that he may become a class clown one day but after reading all the replies, I feel like there is a hope for him (and me).

[d]

"Do children become completely different people when their parents aren't around?"

Yes, my word, of course they do. I'm trying not to be obnoxiously astonished that you don't know that. They consistently do. And from a very young age. The answer is: Yes.

[Carrie]

Julia,

I read a tiny bit in redbook about your infertility. I hope you will consider giving a home to an orphan...there is such joy (and of course sorrow) in it. If you ever want to hear about adoption, let me know!!

[colleen]

I know you live out in the boonies, but I hope you and the people you know are all safe from http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/08/01/bridge.collapse.ap/index.html

[R]

Julia, I just saw the crash in the news and the first thing I thought of was you (crazy I know, since we've never met!) I hope you and your family are all right.

[karla]

just checking in on you guys. Like R I saw the news and thought of you. I hope you and yours are all well.

[jb]

me too on crash news. let us know you are ok. what a horrible event.

[Aurelia]

I too worried about you and the family. Let us know how you are doing.

I laughed when I read the bit about you wanting to write on Patrick's chest. Because I DO write on my kid's arms when we go to amusement parks or water parks.

Totally serious...I write my cellphone number in sharpie marker on their arms, 2 inches HIGH. G-d forbid they are too sick to talk or can't remember their names or numbers, they will be safe. And cell numbers can be traced by cops to our address but some creep in the general public won't be able to.

[lucky#2]

Absolutely, yes! Kids are very different when the parents aren't around. I am a teacher and I can't tell you how many parents say, "you can't be talking about my child. He/she isn't like that at home!"

[Amanda]

I felt the same was as R when I saw the news last night. I pray you and your family are well.

[Libby]

I am also thinking about you and hoping you were no affected by the terrible collapse of the bridge.

[silene]

What Libby said - thinking of you.

[Aurelia]

I am now mildly freaking out. Are you and your family and friends okay? Please post.