Too Hot For Titles

In no particular order:

When I asked my OB about whether they will induce a twin pregnancy at a certain gestation she just shrugged. She said that we can talk about it when it happens and implied with her smile a nice "as if." So no worries! If anyone is willing to let me go to 44 weeks with twins it is the good doctor I am seeing now. When I referenced "they" and "not letting" and "twin pregnancies go much past 38 weeks" I really meant the universal "they" as interpreted for me by google. Because there are a billion (seriously, forty?) studies from all over the world that show the risk of stillbirth with twins decreases after 36 weeks and then sky-rockets for some reason after 38 weeks. Simultaneously, twins generally stop gaining weight at that point anyway. So there is a school of thought that says: why risk it? However this is not to say that all, most, many, etc twin pregnancies go horribly awry at that point without intervention but... I think I am just used to worrying about things. I am trying not to do so. I am perfectly willing to just wait and see what happens. OM.

Steve has a December 8th birthday and I have always been horrified by his family's willingness to hand over Christmas presents with a casual, "Oh and THIS shirt was for your birthday." Birthdays in my world are sacred times of great specialness. So, if (per your advice) all I have to do to make a Yuletide birthday great for the (uh, MAN I need to come up with some kind of a name or names for these two) twins is mark it out as Uniquely Important we will be fine. Their birthday WILL be Important. No problem. Now if I am especially clever I can have one at 11:58pm and the other at 12:01 and give them each a day of their own.      

My very first Mom Moment post is up at REDBOOK. It is largely introductory but I do eventually get down to the trouble I am having telling Patrick about any of this so if you want to scoot over with your advice I would appreciate it. Now before you yell at me, I mean, ONLY if you have not sworn an oath to never darken their site after the Infertility imbroglio and ONLY if the login thing does not drive you nuts and ONLY if you want to do so. I don't want to encourage anybody to act against their conscience, I just want to get a little activity over there so REDBOOK doesn't think I am more trouble than I am worth. Is all.   

Oh! Speaking of Patrick I have the weirdest story.

Yesterday, Steve went to get his annual glucose/cholesterol blood check. Patrick and I were sitting in his office when he took the band-aid off his arm, prompting Patrick to inquire as to whether Steve had had a shot. Patrick got THREE at his five year checkup a few weeks ago and it is still a subject of considerable interest. Steve said no and Patrick observed for the zillionth time that he, personally, does not care for shots. I said, "Oh I get a shot every day, see?" and I pulled up my shirt so that Patrick could look at the dozen or so little bruises from my nightly Lovenox injection.

Patrick peered at my abdomen and then suddenly said, "Oh! That reminds me of a dream I had. There were kids here now and..."

I said, "We had other kids living here? Like you had sisters or brothers?"

"Um, yeah, maybe. No sisters. Brothers, I think. But they were here and... just a minute. I'll be right back!" And he stuck his index finger in the air like he always does, a conversational placeholder.

He returned a minute later carrying a book.

"So we had other kids here," he continued, "and you had black lightning across your stomach. Just like this." He held up the book, which had lightning on the cover.

"Right there, " he said, pointing at my stomach. "You had this black lightning and the other kids were here."

Now, not to sound as fruity as an old orchard, is it me or did Patrick just prophesy two boys and a c-section? 

Comments

[victoria]

Two boys and a C-Section! YAY!!!!!

[Leggy]

Wow- can Patrick give me next week's lottery numbers? I'll split the proceeds with you...

[lauriec]

3 boys? Dear God, the chaos! the sweetness! Actually, I do think they are psychic at that age. Too bad we lose it. My son woke up and said his preschool teacher would not be there today, I said of course she will, she's never missed a day - lo and behold, emergency gallstone surgery the night before. My sister did a similar bizarro at the same age. AND, we used the ever-unimaginative "Bump".

[Elizabeth]

Dyna-MITE and Dyna-MOE.
"Mite" and "Moe" for short.

[margalit]

Suggestions for what to call the twins inutero: Uz and Buz. You will be AMAZED at how many people want to know how you got those names. (They're in the Bible..twins). I called my two Frick and Frack, but that's boring.

As for Patrick: Well, I'm not at all surprised that he's a bit on the psychic side. Seems that a LOT of PG kids are. Mine isn't, but I've heard of many who are.

How to tell him? Patrick is the kinda kid that wants to be involved in the science of the situation. I'd take him to your next OB appointment, letting the ultrasound tech in on the 'surprise', and tell Patrick before hand that you think there might possibly be a baby in your uterus. You'd like him to come and see when you find out.

He'll be part of the 'discovery', and he'll be part of the excitement of twins. Plus, nothing is more exciting to a little kid than ultrasounds. I took my PG son to my echocardiogram when he was a bit younger than Patrick. Echos are about an hour long, and he asked plenty of questions. When they turned on the sound, my son was just about jumping out of his skin with joy to be able to hear my weird heart. He LOVED it. Still remembers it 10 years later!

[Ninotchka]

That would be pretty sensational. They say kids have a special ability to predict their siblings sex so...who knows?

Also, and this is going to sound very weird but did you know the url for this post is: /too-hot-for-tit.htm?

I swear, I don't tend to notice these things (except with the Blogger word verification thingies, I nearly always concoct a funny word out of them) but the page was taking forever to load and so....there you go... Weird.

[Jo]

On the not letting twin moms go past 38 weeks thing, here's how it was explained to me. The reason you don't want to go much past your due date with a singleton is that the placenta begins to break down at some point. That point comes sooner with twins. That would explain the fetal distress/demise increase with all past-dates pregnancies, multiple or otherwise. So for me, already being in several higher risk categories (twins, age 44 at delivery), that made the decision to induce at 37 weeks pretty clear. YMMV, of course, but that was my thinking on the matter. Not much to gain by keeping them inside longer, lots to lose.

And Patrick? The kid is scary. :)

[Beth]

Oh, sure, kids know stuff. Pretty cool, mostly :-)

I vote for Thing 1 and Thing 2 (down the wall in the hall ... Sorry, the lines from that book stick annoyingly in my mind).

[Dara]

I am pregnant with our third child after 3 M/C. My amnio says all's well and we are having a boy hopefully for his two big sisters to spoil silly. My due date was December 21, but the baby is measuring big, so they pushed it to Dec. 13. We will see, My b/d is Jan. 5, and my Dad always made sure it was an extra special day. I kinda hope you can pull off that 11:58-12:01 thingy, that would be really sweet!!!

I am so happy for you....

[Dara]

That Patrick is something else!!! He's known all along. I for one will not be surprised if his dream is right on the money.....

[JuliaKB]

I think he did. And since he did, I will confess to also thinking those are two boys in there. However, I wouldn't take me particularly seriously right now, seeing as though I am pretty good generally, I think my spidey senses are a bit off since after A. But Patrick? I will take him seriously any day.

[k]

Maybe he dreamt about your Linea Negra (rather than a C-section incision)...?

I am excited to see if he's right about the 2 boys!

I remember reading that a woman's dreams about the sex of her baby are more accurate than ultrasounds.

I dreamt the correct sex of both of our kids (my husband asked me through the whole 2nd pregnancy if I had dreamt about the sex yet, but I kept lying and saying no because I didn't want to tell him and then have him all dead-set on what the gender was going to be)

Maybe Patrick is very tuned in to all of this stuff...

It's all so exciting. Congratulations.

[Leggy]

Just read the Redbook post- I went through this with my son. We told him by showing him the ultrasound pictures and asking if he knew what it was. FYI, my son was very excited, until he started talking to frinds who told him younger siblings are no fun. This is where the "sucks to be you" stuff came in. :)
Also, FWIW, I felt a certain latent guilt throughout my pregnancy about the total upheaval twin siblings would cause my son- like "what did I do to him?" Once they were born (a whole 9 days ago), it went away and now it feels like we were always meant to be a family of five.

[tgsdmom]

I think Patrick is guessing a change in the family, guessing how babies are born and wishing for boys rather than girls. It's time to tell him.
Possible responses that I've heard in my family:
1. Yay, great! He can sleep in my room.
2. Why??? I did not ask for a brother...
3. [sobbing] I am going to get much less attention, right?

A long time ago I read an amusing comparison between parents telling their kids about a new baby and a husband telling his wife about a new wife. Things such as:
"I like you so much, that I thought it would be nice to have another around"
"I decided to have another so you'll have someone "
and so forth...
Expect and accept jealousy and try never to ignore Patrick's needs for attention (even if the two new babies cry a bit). This has always worked for me, and my kids are really good friends.

Congratulations and best of luck.

[StephanieO]

It's prophecy. It took me over a year (and some ovulation drugs) to conceive my second son. My nearly three year old, obviously, was oblivious. And yet, as I came out of the bathroom having read the long awaited positive pregnancy test, he looked at me and said "There's a brother in your belly." And indeed, his brother was in my belly. Go figure.

[nope]

I propose using gestational names for the unborn.

The best set I have heard yet, for twins?

Champagne and Sparkle.

The woman who used these as placeholder names birthed 2 totally healthy kids. She's a Minnesotan too.

Just sayin'

[nope]

I propose using gestational names for the unborn.

The best set I have heard yet, for twins?

Champagne and Sparkle.

The woman who used these as placeholder names birthed 2 totally healthy kids. She's a Minnesotan too.

Just sayin'

[colleen]

Many congratulations!

If you are really _really_ clever, you'll have one at 11:58 on Dec 31 and the other on Jan 1 at 12:01 -- separate birth days, months, and years! :)

For December birthday assvice, we have many in my family (including mom, brother, and my grandfather who was actually born on Christmas day -- they put him in the stroller that his much-older sister got for Christmas, and she thought he was hers to keep!). With the kids we just try to make sure to have a separate birthday party for them. The older kids and adults do get some combo presents, but sometimes it works in their favor. Things that would be considered too extravagant for either birthday or Christmas get purchased for one or the other, and then people can't stand to be empty handed on the other occasion, so have to get them "a little something" for that as well. I'm sure you'd think of this, but do make sure to send early invites or save-the-dates for December birthday parties -- my aunt was once astonished that only a few people could make it to the last-Saturday-before-Christmas birthday party that she announced the Tuesday before. (funny now no one else found that at all surprising!)

Best wishes to all three/five of you!

[Carrie]

I'm such a dork. I've read your journal since you were pregnant with Patrick, but I've only commented maybe twice before. (I just felt like you already had so many "cheerleaders" that my comments wouldn't make much difference, I guess). Tonight I'm posting for the second time in three days because I was just looking at a scrapbooking magazine and I came across a picture of brand-new twins, all snuggled up together with their little newborn rosebud lips all puckered up, and my eyes instantly filled up with tears. My husband noticed and said "What's the matter?" and I showed him the picture and said, "It's just that Julia that I've been telling you about...I'm just so happy for her. I've never met her, but I'm so happy!" And it's true. My heart is so full when I think of what you're about to experience!! I'm a mom of 3 (ages 7, 4, and 9 months) and my son (my oldest) is SO MUCH like Patrick. Very intelligent and quirky. He loves his little sisters more than I could ever describe, and Patrick is going to be the same way! I'm so thrilled that you're going to have 3 children too. I don't like to wish time away, but I can't wait until you have those babies safely in your arms. It's going to be so much fun to see if Patrick's dream is right!

[Mandy]

Without reading any other comments, yes I do believe that's what he did. But the lightning reference? That was freaking awesome. I mean, not that most women consider a csection ideal - but lightning across your belly is a much cooler way of describing that kind of scar, don't you think?

It will be very interesting to find out if he's right about the babies being boys as well as the csection, but at the very least I think he's at least subconsciously onto you.

[Erica]

That is so JUICY about Patrick's prediction. You could recoup a lot of the ART expenses by renting him out! (Say, for example, to me.)

I love how certain he was about the lightning. When I was giving birth to my daughter, I felt like there was thunder and lightning all night, even though it was a clear night. That is how I thought of our natural childbirth. So maybe it was THAT kind of lightning?

Either way, I really do think of you often, and am so darn happy for you guys!

[Ellery]

I said the same thing to my OB, and he said that he would not induce prior to 40 weeks. I started to argue about it, and he said if we made it to Christmas it would be a great accomplishment (due date was Jan 9). However, by the time I was about 36 weeks I was bound and determined to throw myself at his feet and beg at 38 weeks. But he turned out to be right -- the boys came at 36 weeks 6 days.

My hypothesis is that he wanted me to mentally shoot for 40 weeks, just like Tiger Woods shoots for the hole rather than for the green.

[Genie]

I have been picturing the 13's as boy/girl, but will now think of them only as "The Boys"...Patrick's vision is sure to be bond right on. My bond with my sister (who is 15 years older than I am) is so tight that we frequently have the same dreams on the same nights. She recalls feeling the bond before I was even born...something she never felt with my brother or with the fetus my mom lost between us. I'm sure Patrick is feeling something similar, but experiences it as a dream. Guess I'm fruity as an old orchard, too.

[mama-beans]

OK... Definately two boys then.. and instead of C-Section, I'm going with an "odds" thing and saying the lightning represented the miracle that had to happen in order to get said two babies in there, healthy, in the first place. Lightning struck. Twice. And the odds of that.... slim. You've beat the odds.

Anyway. Yes, definately two boys then!

[Heather]

That's pretty cool. I think we'll all be curious if that's exactly what happens. Eerie....

[Debby]

damn, that's the point in time that i would have chosen to talk to him about the twins, but holy shit, i'm pretty sure he has the sight.

it will be interesting to see how all of this turns out at the end, won't it?!

[Michelle in NYC]

Add my vote to two boys and stretch marks! Sorry to break it to you that you can probably count on both stretch marks AND a C-Section scar, so everyone will likely get to be right!

One thing I would not want though would be the two separate birthdays. I personally am totally exhausted after Christmas one day and the Birthday the next. To have yet another Birthday the following day would do me in entirely!

But my, oh my, I am so thrilled that these aer your dilemmas du jour!

[Geohde]

You're right. The mortality curve for twin pregnancies does deflect upwards after 38/40. I'd be surprised if you got much past that anyway, given that your uterus is going to be a little on the over-stretched and wanting to spontaneously contract side by that point :)

[blythe]

A few days before I found out I was pregnant with #2, my son said, as we were on the way to the beach: "don't go to this one, it isn't the one that sells the babies" Kind of a creepy statement, actually. Then for that whole first month or two (during which we had told him nothing) he kept talking about having a baby sister. I was convinced he was in touch with something, and didn't believe the u/s guy when he said it was a boy. So much for our psychic :)

[Jen]

I was thinking Linea Nigra too - you'll likely have a doozy of one! Cool. Patrick's even smarter than we all thought possible.

[jana]

I second the idea that he meant stretch marks rather than a c-section. I bet your belly is going to look all kinds of crazy in a few months! But who cares, you are getting a twofer!:)

I keep thinking that your twins are boys too. But, then again I am the mom of two boys so it is hard for me to wrap my brain around a little girl!

[kathleen999]

That's how I get my psychic stuff too, in dreams. I always laugh at it, but I have prophetic dreams. I haven't had any about you, but my gut is telling me two boys also, as I previously posted.

The last remarkable prophetic dream I had was when someone close to me had a late period, and I told her I had had a dream the night before that she was pregnant, was a single mother, and her mom was going to help her. Freaked her the hell out. She turned out to be pregnant...it was one of those weird situations where she shouldn't have ovulated, the guy was a fling... I didn't know about the guy. She told me 10 days later after she found out she was indeed pregnant. Freaky, huh?

[Natalee]

Would you mind asking Patrick if he's having any dreams regarding Powerball numbers? I'll split the money with you!!!

[KarenT]

Well, he has a one in four chance of being right? (A=girl and B=girl, A=girl and B=boy, A=boy and B=girl, A=boy and B=boy). As for shots, I knew sibling rivalry was in full force in my house when the (usually quite intelligent) older one complained that the little one received 3 bandaids and she had received only one, too blinded by jealousy to remember that to get another bandaid, she would have to get another shot!

[jack]

Have you considered finding out the gender of just one of the twins? C'mon pleeeeeease...the suspense is killing me! And you'll still get to have a surprise at the end!

[jessica]

How cool, you have a psychic mathematician son!

I'd say yes, Patrick has predicted twin boys via c section. there you have it. Am very interested to see how this goes.

Congrats!

Oh, and C sections aren't bad. Can't remember if you had one with Patrick or not, but compared to what you've been through a c section will seem like a massage. You get good drugs.

[anon]

That husband and new wife comparison is from a BRILLIANT book: Siblings without rivalry, by the same people who wrote how to listen so your kids will talk and vice versa.

BUY IT NOW! Brilliant book.

[FishyGirl]

Oooh, Patrick is spooky smart. Sounds like a winner prediction to me!

And just in case I didn't mention it before (though I've certainly thought it a million times, it seems) I am just so THRILLED that you're in this situation.

[mominma]

Ok...Patrick just freaked me out a bit. If you really have two boys (vs. the other gender) and a c-section...holy cow. Congrats by the way. I'm a lurker who has been crossing my fingers and toes for you for years. I'm so glad that you will be doubly blessed. You deserve it.

[Melanie]

Oh darn, Patrick! And here I've been seeing them as two girls the whole time.

I bet Patrick is right though. How COOL is your kid!

[ChrisLm]

When my mom was pregnant with my (back in the days before ultrasounds) she wanted a boy so bad she could taste it..I said it was a girl and that was that (i was 11). I would only let her discuss (around me) girl names, pick out girl clothes and when it came time to paint the room..i picked out the brightest pink i could find...(I was a spoiled rotten brat! LOL!!!) Thank goodness my sister was a girl!!! She would have looked might funny in a pepto-bismol pink room in frilly pink dresses...but i knew...Patrick probably does to...My mom says i have my grandma's ESP...Patrick may have it to....

[Alex]

My mother, who is a twin from back in the day such that when HER mother found out she was having twins she was -- you know -- HAVING twins (can you imagine?), reports that as a child she knew a set of twins born in different years in different countries (I believe the story has their mother traveling by train on New Year's Eve). I'm not sure I buy this (surely even "back then" they'd have STOPPED THE TRAIN???), but might you be setting your sights too low? I mean, if your "due date" is 1/19 and 36-38 weeks is right for twins it seems like 12/31 and 1/1 are both "in range," though, it must be admitted, awfully close to Christmas. And, ah, New Years.

[Tracy]

A c-section is really not all that bad. Not that I have any other birth method to compare it to. I can only compare it to IVF and gallbladder removal. And the good thing about a planned c-section is that it absolutely will not happen on Christmas. ;-)

[another Julia]

There's a cute book called "Waiting for Gregory" about a little girl waiting for her aunt to give birth to her new cousin (Gregory). She asks all the family members about when the baby will come and gets all kinds of answers, but only her mom explains it accurately.

[terri c]

So, Patrick, about that job I interviewed for??? Actually, when I was a younger adult, I used to be very good, with people I knew well, at knowing they were pregnant AND knowing the gender of the child. It'll be exciting to see if he's right!

[Tonya]

I give full credit to the kiddos; my daughter told me (correctly) the sex of all my pregnancies, even the ones that didn't make it, and before I knew myself.

[Little Bird]

Spooky, think he could rattle off a few random numbers for me to use for the lottery? Also, I was born on Jan. 2nd, and I have recieved sooooo many combo birthday-christmas presents (and seriously cheap ones at that) it's not even funny. It might seem selfish to think that I might have deserved otherwise, but the combos always made me feel a bit insignificant. Kudos if you can give them each their own day. The other comment I always got was "Almost a New Years baby" and always with a shake of the head as if I had just tried harder I might have accomplished something great. Meh.
Personaly, I think Patrick would be a fantastic older brother, especialy to a girl. Don't know why I think that, just do.

[Little Bird]

By the way, I meant that as "I think Patrick would be a fantastic older brother to AT LEAST ONE GIRL, and her twin brother. Lest anyone read my previous comment the wrong way.

[j_lovescoffee]

I have twin daughters and, well, buckle up. Twins are *totally* different than one baby, and I cannot imagine doing it with another child around (so you get extra bonus points!). Do you have family in the area? You'll need them. Twins are a lot of work, but, yes, just as everyone imagines they would be, so so much joy as well. Prepare yourself though. You'll be a walking circus sideshow. You'll get used to it, though. If you're worried about Patrick for anything, it should be that. He'll likely tire of it before you do.

(Seriously, my girls are almost three, and I could count the number of times on one hand that I've taken them out in public - including every single grocery store trip, doctor's office visit, etc. - that someone hasn't stop to offer some sort of twin commentary. Having twins is, as one friend of mine put it, not too different from walking around with a goat. You get the same questions ("Is that a goat?" "When did you find out you were getting a goat?" "Is having a goat harder than not having a goat?"), and it seems to be about the same sort of she's-asking-for-it attention (anyone who walks around with a goat is just asking for attention anyway, right?).

'Ready Or Not, Here We Come!' is the only book about having twins worth reading. Also? It's really small, so easy to find stuff later, and a quick read besides. (All the other books out there on twins are pretty crap. I mean, they're okay, but, um, not really.)

Regarding the Christmas due date thing - I wouldn't worry about that. Really, like at all. This will be one of those things you look back and laugh at yourself over, because if they actually make it to Christmas you'll be ecstatic. My ladies were born at 36 weeks (which is great for twins), and had to spend a week in the NICU. Now, this week was low-stress: no feeding tubes, no IVs, the doctors were never actually worried... But I tell you what, anytime your kid(s) is in the hospital, and you see nurses bustling around them and they have to get their blood drawn every day, and, oh by the way, they have a respitory and heart monitor on at all times, so to hold them you have to have a nurse paged and then wrestle with these wires that are coming out of your BABIES...well, I'm just saying that that? That's a low-stress, almost full term, totally worry free NICU stay. Christmas is what you're shooting for.

And after all that is said, CONGRATULATIONS. What wonderful news.

I totally should have started with that. Hm.

[Professordog]

I had a Christmas birthday--3 days after, to be specific. It was a planned C-section, too.

My family was pretty good about making sure I got separate presents, but what sucked for me was that all of my present-getting opportunities came at the same time of the year. You know how when a kid decides they want something too extraqvagant to buy for no real reason, you say "put it on your Christmas list," or "ask for it for your birthday," depending on which is coming up next? If I wanted something in February (January was OK, since I usually had birthday money to spend), they might as well have just said, "Too bad, you can never have it, ever."

If you can celebrate both the half-birthday and the real birthday, I'd try that. When I was maybe 8 or 10 my parents gave me the option of celebrating one or the other, but we couldn't afford to do both. Of course, that means you'll have to give Patrick two birthday parties a year, too...dunno. Good luck!