Treble Clef

I hate to jinx things but I feel really, really good. 

I had weeks there in which every contraction felt like it was fraught with dark purpose but for the past few days they have been sort of... unimpressive. It is hard to describe but I am just feeling more normal and provided 13a is actually growing I think my chances of having babies later rather than sooner are pretty good. Aurelia pointed out that the thing to do is have them check blood flow to the babies and when I read that I remembered that they had done so. And no one screamed or anything so I guess everything checked out ok. Not to mention the fact that they repeated the fetal fibronectin on Friday and it was negative. I could have sworn I put that in my last post but I see that I did not. Anyway, the situation is pretty rosy as far as I am concerned. I feel confident that I am good for another few weeks yet. But how clever of me not to waste money on lots of maternity clothes. 99% of the time I wear my normal nonpregnant pajama bottoms and a long sleeved maternity shirt or something of Steve's. Am I cute? No. Comfortable? Emphatically.

Julie (linking on my laptop is such a drag. you know Julie. alittlepregnant. grand duchess of infertility blogging) is in town doing an IVF cycle and she came over on Sunday brimming with her usual charm and bearing gifts. She brought the NICEST present for Patrick. Every time I think about it I get all misty. She hand dyed him 11 socks in 11 different brilliant colors. Yesterday he spent five minutes trying to decide which combination to wear and finally held up the one that was a shocking pink: "If I was a girl," he said, "I would wear this one."

"You can wear that one," I told him.

"Great!" he said. And he did. With a turquoise on the other foot for balance. He, in turn, had picked out all of his Vermont state quarters for her so there was a ritual gift exchange that insured that the honor of both our tribes was preserved. Quite nice.

Julie was supposed to come over again last night but apparently she took ONE VALIUM and was so flattened by it she sounded like the older sister in "Sixteen Candles." The one with her wedding veil stuck to her tongue. Oh, Julie swore me to secrecy about that by the way, so don't tell anyone. Just... if you are ever looking for a driver for your magical mystery bus may I suggest you keep looking? ONE valium. Jeesh.

Someone on the last post mentioned that she is a planner and therefore the idea of Least Resistence Parenting gives her the wobbles. I sympathized utterly because I, too, am a planner. Actually Steve (he's so darling) uses the term "scary control freak" but you know... tomato, tomahto. So because I do not know, for example, where the 13s will sleep, I have six different options ready for them: two soon-to-be-finished bedrooms complete with two cribs, a co-sleeper, a Moses basket, the historic family bassinet in which Steve's father first dozed, our bed once I get the waterproof mattress pad on it, and a twin bed setup in what I think will be baby B's room in case I need to sleep up there with them. Wait, how many options was that? Enough. And you can bet your sweet biscuits I am not the sort of person to accept that someone can just run out for newborn diapers later. I have a list, a combination Target/Babies R Consumers list, that I have been working on steadily for weeks now and I am just waiting for the opportunity to go through it like a sirocco. I could send Steve, of course, if I have to but  it  would give me so much pleasure to cross things off as I go that I hope I get to do it. I asked my OB when she thought I might go off the terbutaline pump and she said that as long as I am still responding to it then I will have it until 37 weeks. She went on to remind me what term is and gave me a look that told me not to be such a pansy.

Steve is going to Patrick's Math Curriculum Celebration at the school today, whatever the hell that is. I think they have finished one unit and are starting another. Since we have not received a single piece of information from Patrick's math teacher all year apart from those few completed worksheets that he had doctored I am anxious for Steve to report back on what they are doing in there. Patrick says that math is his favorite thing about kindergarten so he must be happy enough with it. Oh and he is certainly learning how to show his work, so to speak. This morning he was complaining about his oatmeal and I told him that he was leaving for school in 15 minutes whether he ate it or not. He then asked how many seconds that would be. I told him he needed to multiply 15 by 60 and then he said, pause, 900. Which I admit impressed me so (after I thought about it - math is not my thing) I said yeah and how did he work that out? September Patrick would have shrugged and said he just knew it but November Patrick said: 15 is triple 5 and there are 300 seconds in 5 minutes and 900 is triple 300. Ta da. And yes, I did just brag about my five year old's math skills. So there. I think it is really cool. I keep thinking that his math teacher might send a note home saying golly but your child is very consistent in adding together single digits, or something but... no. Not a peep. However, and I mean this so please do not yell at me about the Importance of Childhood, he is obviously learning process if not content and he says he likes it so no worries.

Julie is coming over again in a few minutes. Be back later.             

Comments

[cursingmama]

I almost used my calculator to double check his facts - math is clearly not my strong suit.

[Phoenix]

I am pretty sure Patrick could kick my butt at math.

Maybe you should order the babies stuff online...but in pieces. That way, you'll get lots of little boxes in the mail and it will be fun. Not as fun as going out and buying it all at the store, but still...fun.

I'm glad to hear you and the babes are doing well. Have a great Thanksgiving.

[Amber]

Patrick totally rocks. and I wish you "bragged" about him more. I find it so exciting! its just so wild!

tell Julie i have been thinking about her all day. hope she is next!

[Candy]

From a girl who has never had a single Valium, I am impressed. What do they do for you anyway? Why would I want to take one (and believe me, I WANT to find out ;))

[Aurelia]

I'm so glad I could be of some reassurance.:)

And yes, if there was a problem with the babies' placental blood flow, they would've said something, so maybe it is time to feel positive and happy. Hmm?

So, are you going to make that target/babies list public? I know it might be fun to shop yourself, but I'd love to send you a Ladybug onesie or two?

[Lisa V]

Patrick is using critical thinking which is how we all should have been taught math facts, rather than rote memorization. That's how my kid's school does it (the critical thinking) and it serves them very well when they get to higher math like algebra and calc and so forth.

And you aren't bragging. You should be proud.

Me? I have to take off my shoes if I have to multiply numbers higher than 12.

[victoria]

Holy freaking cow. That kid is freaky smart! Also THANK YOU for posting about the negative fetal fibronectin. I am encouraged and am looking forward to reading about what it's like to be sipping nonalcoholic eggnog while reclining on the sofa, peering past your enormous bump to watch Patrick open his presents under the tree.

[heleen]

So exciting that everything is going so well now for you! About the sleeping: What worked very well for us was having the twins sleep in little hammocks just besides my bed. I could rock both of them (one with my foot) while staying in bed. And get them out of bed for a feed without having to get up myself. Great you have the space to give both babies their own room but in everyday life with twins you'll probably want them to sleep together to keep them in sync as much as possible. But you'll see what works for you. First priority is keeping them in as long as possible!

[Carla Hinkle]

Wait, wait, wait, can I tell you something? It has vastly improved my life and I only discovered it with the 2nd baby.

www.diapers.com

They deliver in just a few days. They are cheap, just as cheap as anywhere I've found in the real world. They even take manufacturers' coupons! They deliver large, unwieldy boxes of diapers *to your door* so you never have to struggle them home again. Also wipes, diaper genie inserts, baby shampoo, etc etc etc.

Truly, buying diapers is a big drag. Order up a supply of newborn diapers now and never buy retail again!

(I promise I don't work for them. I just think diapers that appear on your doorstep are wondrous and magical.)

[Patty]

I'm so glad things are going well! And I'm jealous of both you hanging out with Julie, and of Julie hanging out with you. ;)

[JuliaKB]

Oh, this is so reassuring. I am so glad to hear the contractions are wimping out, fibroconnectin is negative, and blood flow didn't raise any voices. Oh, and that you now can lord Julie's valium adventure over her for ever and ever, amen.

And not that you don't know this already, but Patrick rocks.

[cathy b]

These people swiped Julie's idea:
http://www.littlemissmatched.com/Catalog/boys-socks

It's a company that sell sets of mismatched socks, in odd-numbered packages.

Although I don't understand why these sets are considered any more feminine:
http://www.littlemissmatched.com/Catalog/girls-socks

My sons loved knee highs when they were Patrick's age. I also bought them tights to play super hero and for warmth under pants. We weren't hip enough in the 80s to wear them mismatched, though--maybe only on laundry day.

[Pam L]

Happy Match Curriculum Celebration Day! Wow, is it that time already, I almost missed it!
Amazing that Patrick even HAS a separate Math teacher, but I guess in the multi-age setting they have to have other teachers in such a busy classroom. It's great that he gets the concepts so readily. My younger son is that way and I do approve of the way they have been teaching math this way for the last several years. Most of what they do is critical thinking (what we used to call word problems) given backwards and forwards so the students can figure it out for themselves what is needed to work it out. So, much better than handing me a book full of algebra problems to do for god knows what reason. I ended up with no clue as to how this would ever be useful to me and why the heck they were trying to add numbers and letters, isn't that like apples and oranges? Apparently not. Now geometry I got, it's spatial, it made sense to me, seemed useful even.

[Tava]

That kind of math reasoning is what I try to teach my GRE students...you know, the people with college degrees already who have to take a test for graduate school. I always tell them that when multiplying, they should make the numbers easier, which is exactly what he's doing intuitively. I bet Patrick would do pretty well on the GRE with a week's tutoring in geometry!

I agree, brag all you like; it's really fascinating. That kind of brain will serve him very well in life. His kindergarten teacher probably has no clue what to do with him, though.

[jojo]

i don't believe a word of what you say about that nerdy-socially stunted kid of yours. just so you know, I think your full of shit.

[Jo]

I'm glad to say that I bear no relation whatsoever to that lovely fount of positivity that is jojo above.

On the twin sleeping arrangements, mine slept for a few months in my bed . I made a little safe "nest" for the two of them to lay side by side, in the spot where the pillow was in my queen-sized bed -- this space made possible by the fact that I am single. After that, I had them in one crib, sleeping side by side (swaddled). It seemed to help them to sleep together. This continued until they were regularly getting out of the swaddle -- probably around 4 months (don't remember precisely, but a lot from that period is a blur!) -- at which point they went to sleeping in separate cribs in the same room.

It's great you have two rooms, because at some point it will be useful if you have one who is a good sleeper and another that requires more .. err ... intervention. And definitely when you get to the big boy/girl bed stage, when the multiples thing leads to mayhem at bedtime.

And on diapers, my girls were full term at birth but in the mid 5 pounds weights, and they wore preemie diapers for what seemed like a really long time. My personal fave was Huggies preemie diapers, and they are hard to come by. So I recommended stocking up on those, unless you like mid-winter trips out to BRU to buy diapers. You can always trade 'em in for bigger diapers when the time comes.

[marsha]

I'm unable to log on over at REDBOOK, so I'll post a quickie here.

The penultimate line in your most recent post over there says, "I guess you just do the best you can with the information that is available to you at the time." Parenting at its very essence! Donald Winnicott (an old British psychoanalyst, one who gratefully did *not* blame everything on mom) wrote rather appreciatively about "the ordinary devoted mother." You show up, you pay attention, and, with a good dose of love, you take a guess and leap. There is no control; there is no right answer.

Which, I gotta say, scares the piss out of me on a daily -- nay, hourly! -- basis as I raise my almost five-year-old, let alone when I went through IVF and complications during my pregnancy with him.

I'm with ya.

[stephanie]

Julia - Patrick rocks. My seven-year-old is a math boy too-if you've read previous comments I'm sure I've bragged myself a time or two. That's what any normal mom should do, brag and show pride in her child when they do amazing little things. My own mother did (and still does, even the her baby is twenty-nine). I myself will continue to brag away each time he does amazing things. As should you. Each time someone says negative things just remember that obviously they're bitter and have issues - and nothing better to do than read a blog that seemingly does not interest and/or irritates them. Whatever. Your blog, your kid, your story. I like Patrick stories and enjoy reading them and 'comparing notes.' I don't waste my time reading blogs that don't interest me; I do not have enough hours in the day for that. I do enjoy reading both your's and Julie's (Charlie stories!), so please keep up the Patrick stories. I'm looking forward to stories about the twins in the future - I can't wait to 'meet' the 13's!!

Also want to add that I'm glad things seem to be going better. You 'sound' so much better!

[Alison]

Oh the socks!! What a brilliant, brilliant idea.

[Crystal]

Regarding the Redbook post:

The great thing about alternative therapies is rarely do you have to do them instead of. Sometimes you do them in conjunction with. There's a whole discipline of medicine devoted to it, called complimentary medicine/therapy. Combining western medicine with alternatives of some sort. This is why you're seeing increasing numbers of practitioners of these arts in your various medical schools. The research looks promising on some counts. Not so much on others.

For instance what worked for me was a stop pre-term labor tape, and water. Not instead of medical care, but in addition to. For some women, it means they reduce the doses of tocos. Given the side effects, most are happy for that. :)

Other than that, this is the woman who bought her own freaking digital doppler because the whole idea of being blissfully pregnant to a no longer living child for several weeks was horrifying. Frankly, if hanging upside down from your feet like a bat keeps you pregnant, I'm all for it. Ain't nobody's bidnezz what works for you. Suggestions are one thing. Criticizing your path to safe, healthy babies crosses a line.

Julia, they don't yet have the PROCREATION RULEBOOK. It's a crap shoot. Precious little data. You owe no explanations, and baring a nightly 5th of gin to calm your nerves, really no wrong choices. You trust your healthcare team, guess based on the body of research, and pray the stars align. That's how it works. Doesn't mean you've done something wrong, it means that's how this works.

Urp. G-d spare us from me and soapboxes. I'm gonna go see if my apple pie filling is cool now, and leave you alone.

[Christiana]

I would be pretty frustrated with not hearing a peep of feedback about Patrick's math skills by now, too, but I'm often baffled by teachers/schools, etc.

The idea posted above about ordering online in little groups might be helpful - you could still check things off and not have to worry about going into labor in nthe middle of BRU. (Which is actually one of my own fears, but that's another issue entirely).

So glad you're feeling better.

[Monica C.]

Patrick is see-mart. Gheesh! And you have every right to brag!

Happy Thanksgiving!

[Centaurea]

Damn. I didn't learn to multiply until I was in 3rd grade, and I wasn't that good at it! Huzzah, Patrick!

[Slim]

OK, Julie is gone, right? So where are you?

And is it wrong that I like hearing about Patrick's accomplishments not only because I like hearing how kids' minds work, but because I know it irritates jojo all to pieces?

It is wrong, isn't it? I am petty like that.

[Aurelia]

It is so so sad when trolls get on the net and provide proof of their inadequate self-esteem, right out in public and everything, tsk tsk tsk. Looks like mother issues to me---they have therapy for that nowadays, maybe Jojo has no health insurance? Or simply no self-awareness....

Oh well, like Slim says I LOVE hearing all about Patrick, so keep writing. 99.99% of your readers want to read, so just ignore the miniscule twits.

[Beth]

I too am amazed by your son's skills and love to hear about it. And glad to hear you still feel well.

[mcb]

More Patrick bragging please!

[Mary]

I've been doing the little bit at a time method of baby-stocking. Last week I ordered a bunch of stuff and it trickled in over the course of this week. Trips to the mailbox for something besides bills? Priceless.

I am still in awe of anyone who can manage to hold off labor as long as you have. Hand to heaven I'm serious- you're doing great and I only pray that I'll make it nearly as close as you are getting.

[FENICLE]

I want more Patrick bragging as well!!!

You are holding on strong. Keep it up!

[electric boogaloo]

Just so you know, Julia, a total stranger named JoJo thinks your full of shit.

I on the other hand think you are full of amniotic fluid and babies and some other junk. Patrick is awesome.

[electric boogaloo]

HA HA I really AM a robot and your captcha thing let me post anyway. Ka-chow!

[Brandee]

I think Jojo needs a little review on the concept of your vs. you're. Even if she thinks you're full of shit, I bet Patrick would whoop her ass on the grammar section of any test. Now, let's all cross our fingers that I have no grammatical errors in my snappy comeback, thereby making me look like an a-hole.

[sheila]

I am one of your more stupider readers who asked for citations when you drew references from higher literature, so I have to ask now: what the WHAT does your post title mean?

I thank you for enlightening. Perhaps Patrick could just email me and clear everything up.

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving!

[victoria]

So yesterday was your 32 week check up, right? It's all good, right? (Happy Thanksgiving, by the way. I hope you had a great time and lots of family love and nary a contraction in sight.)

[KEHFC]

Long silences worry me. Speak! Say all is well?

[Mandy]

I hope you've had plenty of turkey and lots of rest this weekend. Hope to read an update soon. :)

[Cris]

I often wonder what kind of a person is so sad that they have to crawl around the internet leaving crass and ungrammatical comments on the websites of total strangers. Pathetic little jojo.

How did the doctor's appointment go? I am hoping the silence means that you are enjoying your holiday and not that they sent you over to the hospital.