Sick Baby
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Nobody expects to leave their one-month Well Baby check in an ambulance. Post up (such as it is) at REDBOOK but the short version is that Caroline has something akin to RSV and has been hospitalized. Also, I am quite possibly the worst mother in the entire fucking world.
The good news is Steve brought me some much needed stuff this morning so that I am no longer wearing those pre-pregnancy jeans that don't quite fit but were adequate for a quick trip to the pediatrician's office when I wanted to briefly fake svelte. And the toothbrush was nice. Did I learn nothing from all those third trimester OB visit? Always pack for the doctor as if you were going on a weekend trip. Always. Steve also brought me Edward as I decided that I would rather risk having him exposed to god knows what here than go three days without him. Besides, we are "isolated" so no one is allowed into Caroline's room without a gown and mask. In theory this is to protect them from her but it works both ways.
Will update when I can. Good wishes for a speedy recovery appreciated if offered.
Good wishes for a speedy recovery. Hugs and prayers.
Posted by: Ginger | January 30, 2008 at 02:45 PM
Oh, of course, you are not a bad mother. These things happen very quickly, without anyone being able to anticipate it. Good wishes for all of you, and please give yourself a break. I am very glad Edward came along too.
Posted by: Sarah | January 30, 2008 at 02:46 PM
oh goodness! Get well soon Caroline.
Posted by: Judy | January 30, 2008 at 02:47 PM
Thinking of you and your family.
Sending lots of love to you all.
Posted by: cameron | January 30, 2008 at 02:47 PM
Blessings, hugs and as much warmth as we can send from all your friends in the computer!
Posted by: Carrie | January 30, 2008 at 02:51 PM
With all the hundreds and hundreds of well wishes and good thoughts that are going to be heading your way, there's NO WAY she won't get better soon! We love you Caroline (and Edward and Patrick and Julia and Steve!)!
Posted by: AMG | January 30, 2008 at 02:52 PM
Not even close to the worst mother. Babies' health changes direction in the blink of an eye -- why not blame the baby? Oh, because that would make no sense. Like blaming yourself. Hang in there -- we're all thinking of you.
Posted by: Slim | January 30, 2008 at 02:53 PM
So not a bad mother. Or, if that makes you a bad mother, it makes me a worse one!
I begrudgingly took my 18 month old son to the doctor, saying "it's probably nothing, he just seems to be breathing a bit strange". I too was unceremoniously shoved sideways as the doctor hooked up to ventolin, started injecting steriods, whilst frantically calling the ambulance. Upon his admission to hospital he was put into ICU Resus and hooked up to a drip, heart monitor, and good knows what else. Turns out he's a chronic asthmatic in the middle of a major attack with O2 saturation levels of, well, dead, really. He was in ICU for a week.
These shitty things happen. I pray Caroline gets better very, very quickly.
Posted by: Lucy | January 30, 2008 at 02:54 PM
Get well soon, Caroline!
Posted by: nrbp | January 30, 2008 at 02:57 PM
Prayers for strength for you, a quick recovery for Caroline, and protection for Edward. Hang in there!
Posted by: dregina | January 30, 2008 at 02:57 PM
Hi Julia -- CALL ME when you get a chance and leave a phone number where I can call you back. I think you might have called when I was on the phone today. I can't use that damned call waiting worth a damn without hanging up on all parties, so I missed your call. By the way, and I know you know I'm going to say this, YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER! Things can change very quickly, especially with new babies and crappy infections.
Patrick and Ben are playing fabulously, so worry not.
((((hugs))))
Noelle
Posted by: Noelle | January 30, 2008 at 03:00 PM
My longer version is on the other blog, but sending you heartfelt wishes for a quick recovery- for you all!
Posted by: Pam L | January 30, 2008 at 03:02 PM
I'm keeping you and little Caroline (and Edward and Patrick and Steve) in my thoughts. Big hugs and lots of warm wishes!
Posted by: Emily Drew | January 30, 2008 at 03:05 PM
I am sorry to hear about Caroline! I am praying for a speedy recovery...
Posted by: Linda | January 30, 2008 at 03:07 PM
And stop it. You're not a bad mother, honey. No no no no no. Not at all. Now, take a deep breath. You're all right. She's gonna be fine. *HUG*
Posted by: Emily Drew | January 30, 2008 at 03:08 PM
Oh Caroline, thinking of you and sending you best wishes for a speedy recovery. Hang in there Julia, Steve and the rest of the gang, thinking of you as well.
hugs to all of you.
Posted by: winecat | January 30, 2008 at 03:11 PM
Wishing Miss Caroline a speedy recovery. Don't beat yourself up, remember you two are still just getting to know each other and you are a wonderful, attentive mother.
Posted by: Duchess | January 30, 2008 at 03:14 PM
I posted on the other site, but felt more healing vibes sent your way wouldn't hurt...get well soon, Caroline. And some extra positive vibes that Edward stays well.
You are not a bad mommy.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Posted by: Dara | January 30, 2008 at 03:15 PM
*big hug*
Hang in there, Julia! Hope little Caroline recovers quickly!
Posted by: Olya | January 30, 2008 at 03:15 PM
Holy crap!
I'm so sorry to hear that. We ended up back at the ER with my daughter 10 days after she came home from the NICU and aiee, it seemed all out of control and crazy. But all worked out for the best, just as I am sure it will for Caroline. Hang in there, best of luck, and best wishes! And hugs!
Posted by: colleen | January 30, 2008 at 03:18 PM
i'm sure you must be feeling awful-- my thoughts are with you and Caroline. But whatever happens, don't beat yourself up. You're an amazing person, an amazing writer, and a fierce mama. Think of the 14 weeks of contractions! You ought to get a medal!
Posted by: squashi | January 30, 2008 at 03:18 PM
No way in hell you are the worst mother in the world.
Sending all my thoughts.
We just cancelled school in Park City for snow. I think that is about the same as cancelling school for cold in Minnesota.
Posted by: liz s | January 30, 2008 at 03:24 PM
Oh my goodness! How utterly scary. I fail to see though how this makes you anything close to the worst mother in the world. (If it makes you feel any better, I dropped my eight week old son on his head. He's fine.)
Caroline, please get well soon and get home!
Posted by: Clover | January 30, 2008 at 03:32 PM
For heaven's sake, poor little family! Worst mother? As if. Many many best wishes.
Posted by: txmama | January 30, 2008 at 03:33 PM
many many many wishes for speedy recovery! what a horrible thing to have happen, i am so sorry. she is just the sweetest looking baby i've ever seen, i hope everything is okay. and you are not a bad mom.
Posted by: L | January 30, 2008 at 03:36 PM
Heal quickly, baby Caroline.
I shall the keep my worst mother story for another occasion- we all have at least one (per child).
Posted by: e | January 30, 2008 at 03:46 PM
Get well soon, Caroline! And my prayers are with you Julia!
Posted by: Christiana | January 30, 2008 at 03:47 PM
Oh no.... If it makes you feel any better I felt like a nervous first time mom with baby's first cold when I called my ped.. Turned out he had double ear infection and something that they thought may have been RSV (but wasn't). We saw someone other than our ped at the first appt and he wanted us to come in the next morning for an appointment, unless his breathing got worse overnight (then we were supposed to go the the ER). The next day his pulse ox was ok, so we didn't have to continue the every day doctor appts we were told we may need.
I hope Caroline's recovery goes quickly and you are all home again soon.
Posted by: Sarah | January 30, 2008 at 03:48 PM
Good thoughts and fingers crossed.
Posted by: Loth | January 30, 2008 at 04:00 PM
Julia! How terribly frightening. I'm so sorry that this happened; sounds like she's in good hands. Take care,
Sarah
Posted by: Sarah | January 30, 2008 at 04:04 PM
oh no Julia. Praying for a speedy recovery for your little sweetie. Hang in there.
Posted by: Meli | January 30, 2008 at 04:18 PM
Oh no! I am sending you major healing vibes and hope for a quick recovery. You are not a bad mommy! As everyone else said, these things happen really quickly.
Posted by: Carrie | January 30, 2008 at 04:19 PM
Well, CRAP! We'll be thinking and praying about your family.
Posted by: BethanyWD | January 30, 2008 at 04:19 PM
Thinking of you...
Ugh, it's always something.
Posted by: Beth | January 30, 2008 at 04:22 PM
Oh Julia, how scary! I will be thinking of Caroline and praying for a speedy recovery! I hope you will all be home and well before you know it.
Posted by: Lisa | January 30, 2008 at 04:25 PM
Yikes. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best.
Posted by: Sheridan | January 30, 2008 at 04:32 PM
good wishes for a speedy recovery for caroline and health for all the rest of you.
Posted by: elana | January 30, 2008 at 04:34 PM
When my little one was 9months old she got a blood infection, by the time I realised what was going on and got her to A&E she was very poorly and I was so distraught I couldn't watch while they put the tube in her arm: I was rocking and shaking in another room. We do the best we can, nothing can be harder than this because we love them so much. I'm sending Caroline love and best wishes for a speedy recovery. Keep going Julia, you're doing a great job
Posted by: Sarah | January 30, 2008 at 04:37 PM
Thinking about you and wishing for a speedy recovery for Caroline. Big hug.
And you are not a bad mother.
Posted by: Libby | January 30, 2008 at 04:38 PM
You know, I feel like a bad mother at least once a day. I have come to the conclusion that only GOOD mothers question themselves like this.
I'm thinking of you and sweet little Caroline, and the rest of your family, too!
Here's hoping for a speedy recovery...and for beautiful, warm, healthy Spring to hurry up and get here, already!
Posted by: Tree | January 30, 2008 at 04:43 PM
Well, if you are a bad mother, then so are all of us. Starting with me!
You are doing the best you can under crappy circumstances. Take care of yourself and little Caroline, and all will be well soon. Thousands of people all over the world are praying for you guys.
Posted by: Aurelia | January 30, 2008 at 04:59 PM
Hugs and good wishes for everyone, especially sweet Caroline! You are not a bad mom.
Posted by: kimberly/tippytoes | January 30, 2008 at 04:59 PM
Oh no - so sorry to hear this. Please get well soon Caroline!
Posted by: Lynn | January 30, 2008 at 05:00 PM
This is the first time I have commented on a blog. But, I had a similar experience with my son. After going to every prenatal visit with my heart in my throat (the result of infertility treatments and a few good scares when finally pregnant) I walked into my son's 1 week well baby check-up with a smile on my face and a tender, cautious form of hope that I really was going to get to raise a child. Then, 30 minutes later I was crying in the ER as the doctors started an IV and tried three times to do a lumbar puncture (it didn't work). I spent 3 days in an isolation room (I came to hate those robes - it felt like a judgement of my baby as irrational as it sounds) feeling like I was the world's worst parent for not realizing that something was wrong. As it turns out, my son was fine, we survived the hospital, and everything is okay. But, I get the feeling of questioning whether you (I) have the brains and resources neccesary to safeguard this wonderful being. I think it comes from being caught so unaware. I am hoping that you will let yourself off the hook soon. I am putting out a good thought for all of you. Caroline will feel your presence there with her at the hospital and it will be a huge comfort to her. Now, I hope you can find some comfort for yourself.
Posted by: Gale | January 30, 2008 at 05:00 PM
I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, and holding Caroline in the light.
Posted by: Nic | January 30, 2008 at 05:01 PM
I just read the Redbook post. I am so sorry for you. It must have been frightening but it's always better to err on the side of caution! You are not a bad mother - in any stretch of the imagination! You are a wonderful mother! Best wishes for a super speedy recovery!
Posted by: Lynn | January 30, 2008 at 05:03 PM
Oh, Julia, you must be terrified.
What you are definitely NOT is a bad mother. Good grief. Far from it.
Good wishes from out west for a speedy and full recovery. Be easy on yourself.
Posted by: Jan | January 30, 2008 at 05:05 PM
Really? Can't the fates just leave you be for a few weeks? Cripes. My thoughts and prayers are with you & yours.
Posted by: liz | January 30, 2008 at 05:40 PM
Julia -
You are not the world's worst. Promise.
All best wishes to Sweet Caroline and Edward.
Posted by: daysgoby | January 30, 2008 at 05:52 PM
Oh, Julia--you are SO NOT the worst mother, or even a bad one. I am so sorry this has happened, if I were you I would be utterly frantic. Warm thoughts and wishes for prompt recovery are headed your way in triplicate. Or more.
Posted by: terri c | January 30, 2008 at 05:57 PM