So Far

Hmmm, maybe it isn't yeast after all.

White-coated tongues - check.

Lighter under nipples sensation - not so much.

Based upon your comments re. thrush I think I might have been mistaken about my own state of infection. The right side just stings; it is not making me contemplate suicide. In light of the fact that Edward is such a rotten nurser (not that I blame the poor kid. faults on both sides, no doubt) it is possible I am just sore. I don't know. How do you tell? I guess I can ask the pediatrician what he thinks at their one month appointment on Tuesday. In the meantime I am upping acidophilus consumption (although I already live on yogurt so I am not sure what the deal is there) and pouring vinegar in/on everything. Thanks for the advice.

Steve and I, by unspoken agreement, have broken childcare down thusly: he gets Patrick and I get Caroline and Edward. It is not a bad arrangement, although he understandably looks a whole hell of a lot better than I do - all fit and rested and full of fresh air from sledding and carpools. He came into Edward's room (which I am using as baby central; Caroline's room is where I put the car seats and store packs of diapers) this morning and asked "How are you?"

"I am DYING," I said. And I was. Last night was hideous. Hideously hideous. Caroline and Edward tag-teamed being awake and fractious all night long. Three minutes after one would finally finally pass out the other would start. My goal every night is to quickly get the babies to sleep after feeding them so that I can return to the electric blanketed embrace of my own bed, but most nights I eventually wind up just grabbing a baby (or two) and collapsing on the bed I have set up in Edward's room. The very nicest thing about these two is their current willingness to sleep as long as they are pressed up against me. They are usually good about going to sleep in their own space, too, but when all else fails it is nice to know I can snuggle them into unconsciousness while going back to sleep myself. Baby Patrick, in contrast, did neither. He would not sleep alone and he would not sleep on me. Every night was a struggle until he would finally fall asleep nursing but then I would be unable to move or he would wake up again. Gak. But nevermind... I highly recommend having a bed if there is space. Hmmm, here, while I am thinking about it, my list of a few things for a baby's room that make life easier:

1. a bed - ours is an old futon loveseat thing. not amazingly comfortable but not terrible

2. a good sized chair, preferably with an ottoman or foot rest. I am using an armchair from the living room. I added this terrific bed sitting cushion from the Acacia catalog and that setup really is amazingly comfortable. The cushion even has these side pockets that the breast pump bottles fit into nicely

3. lamps with dimmer switches - one where you change diapers, one near the chair. can't go wrong with dimmer switches

That is all I can think of right now, but feel free to add your own suggestions

So apart from last night the first month has been like a tropical vacation, all things considered. After the horrible time I had with Patrick I was seriously terrified that two babies would be a living nightmare but they have been very easy. I feed them around 11, they wake up around 3 and then they sleep until 7 and are back asleep until 10. Not every night, of course, and if they wake up at 3 I do not go back to sleep until about 4:30 because it takes me that long to change feed burp and settle them both but still... not fucking bad. Steve does not do anything during the night, but he gets Patrick up and fed and to school every day while I sleep in with Caroline and Edward. Right now he is starting work on another basement improvement project (I don't even ask anymore, I just hear hammering) and Patrick is acting as his subcontractor. Earlier he and Patrick ran errands while I fed Caroline and Edward and dealt with the laundry. During the day the babies sleep together in a pack n' play in the living room or look around at things. They are quite easy-going, so far - happy to be held and happy to be wedged into a Boppy. It is all remarkably pleasant, which is good because I was so determined to have this family that I would be bummed if it sucked.

And of course it helps that they are cute and soft and smell like clean new rain.

Edward, by the way, looks EXACTLY like Patrick as a newborn. EXACTLY. The last time I said this Patrick channeled his inner preteen and said, "I KNOW! You have said that ABOUT A BILLION TIMES."

Jeez, sorrrrry.

Steve was holding Caroline the other day and I looked over and gasped and said, "My God she looks just like you!" Then I thought about it and amended, "I mean, she looks like you in that you both have a ridiculous amount of black hair. And sideburns. I guess I could say: my God she looks just like Burt Reynolds!"

Steve was offended. For both of them.

I have subsequently decided that Caroline actually looks like Audrey Hepburn. And despite being so weensy in general she has ridiculously long legs such that she is now wearing the newborn sized sleepers. They are voluminous around her middle but the preemie clothes were too short in the arms and legs. So long limbs plus the big eyes and a nicely shaped head that can wear a short sleek cut - pure gamine. Lucky kid. Better Gigi* than the Bandit, non?

Patrick calls Edward - Dreadward, combining the Drake and Edward you see. Personally I like it, especially since his original suggestion was... Fredward. How awful would that be? Little Fredward. He calls Caroline Sweet Girl and Pretty GIrl and Sweet Little Caroline and uses the same sing-song with her that he uses with our crazy closet cat. I suppose I should be discouraging this obvious gender bias (what? no Pretty Dreadward or Sweet Little Dreadward?) but I dunno. It's really adorable.   

*Wasn't Colette inspired by Audrey Hepburn? Am I remembering that correctly?

PS Widget fixed. New post up at REDBOOK.

Comments

[Mrs. Gregorton]

I once thought our baby had thrush and her doctor told me it had to be on the sides of her mouth and/or the insides of her lips for it to be thrush. And whoever said it would make you contemplate suicide knew what they were talking about too! You are so right about having a bed in the nursery and we used red tinted light bulbs because we didn't have dimmers, plus, you can pretend you are in a night club. Bonus.

[Diana]

Julia, I am so happy for you! I'm a long time reader and am very impressed (and relieved) that you still keep us involved in your life. I would be so sad if you didn't.

[Susan too]

you are doing really well for the mother of preemie twins! It sounds like you are figuring out what works and I know my babies slept better with me the first few months,you'll know when its time to give them their own beds. I put white christmas lights under the bed and changing table so it was glowing, but dark too.I am an IBCLC, you can email me if you want to ask any questions.I wish i lived closer!

[Sheridan]

Hmmmm, my first (and so far, only) was EXACTLY like Patrick. I am terrified of going throught that again, so you have given me hope that things might be different.
You are doing so well, Sweet Little Julia!

[silene]

When our wee one had thrush, we caught it early enough (with just a white tongue) that I had no nipple pain (well, apart from the one that was cracked but that had nothing to do with the thrush.)

I am so glad that you are enjoying your babies and Patrick and your newly-larger family. I hope you get some sleep tonight!

[Dara]

I have the red light bulbs, it increases melatonin production which is supposed to make one sleep better. Anyway, I like the whole night-club thingy...and I wonder what my neighbors are thinking about the red glow...

I have always slept with my babies...I have a co-sleeper attached to our king size bed, but Aleksander has been sleeping cuddled up in my arms. He's our last baby, and I want him in bed with me. Right now, we only have 3 bedrooms and until we renovate the attic for the girls, the baby will be in our room.

Keep up the great work...Patrick cracks me up!!!

[terri c]

"Dreadward" -- I *love* this. And Caroline looks much, MUCH more like Audrey Hepburn than like Burt Reynolds. What that says about Steve I don't know... Patrick and the twins are wonderful, all 5 of you are wonderful!

[KS]

Awww. I'm glad the family is shaping up nicely :) My contribution to the nursery list-table/shelf next to that comfy chair. Somehow my husband foresaw the dimmer needs but we both missed that table need. Nowhere for my water, nursing pads, burp cloths, etc. Fixed now! Dreadward-he he he.

[Ruth]

We used blue lightbulbs for nighttime ... they gave us just enough light to see by without losing that night-time feel. It sort of felt like being underwater, actually, although that may just have been the having a newborn bit.

I completely love "Dreadward".

[nate]

Whatever you do, don't introduce Patrick to the oeuvre of Neal Diamond. The poor child will never live it down. (Caroline, that is.)

[colicmommy]

SO GLAD things are going well.

Just in case...you well remember that babies get most fussy and PITA around 6 weeks post due date, so around 9 weeks old for your two. With colicboy, the thing that saved us was tight swaddling at night and sleeping in the carseat on the floor (not strapped in). He'd actually sleep that way once I got him rocked to sleep. Without...he was up every 20 minutes. My other two babies weren't colicky like that, but by swaddling and sleeping in the car seat, I was able to get 6 hour stretches out of them by around 4-6 weeks old.

Just in case. Sorry about the assvice. I'm sure you know the tricks already, but I'm thinking ahead in case for that 9 week mark with two babies. (Anyone with two or more babies at once is my hero.)

[JuliaKB]

I am so glad that last night notwithstanding things around your house sound positively peachy. Big brother is cracking me up, btw.

[Jessica]

I'm kind of partial to "Fredward".

*g*

[4katnap]

Do you let the babies sleep together at night or are they in seperate cribs? Many twins sleep better when they can sense each other near by. After all they have been snuggled together far longer than apart!

I love that you seem to be ballancing them well. Some moms seem to have trouble focusing on more than the new baby and you have 2 and still have plenty of love to spread around and it shows that you are totally in love with all 3 of your kids and your DH. Good Mommy!

[Hetty_Fauxvert]

Our boys had a galloping case of thrush early on, and I never had one symptom in my nipples. But the white in their mouths is pretty much a giveaway. BTW, if your doc cays it *is* thrush and it is not gone, gone, gone in a couple of weeks, press your medical establishment for the hardcore drugs. (Can't remember what it's called though I documented it in my blog when our boys had it -- this stuff is so safe that they give it to preemies in the NICU, for heaven's sake, but they don't like to prescribe it because it's pretty darned pricey.) The problem is that there are *resistant* strains of thrust now that can't be routed by the same old same old drugs. But hopefully your little ones' problem will be gone ASAP and you won't need the other stuff. (But we went through FOUR WEEKS of thrush before we got the good drugs -- and then it was gone in two days. 'Nuff said.)

Um, if you have another night from Hell? Do feel free to wake up the spousal unit to share in the blessed experience. Really. Since you're not asking him to pull all-nighters constantly, he could certainly give you a few hours here and there when you're pulling out your hair. Glad the babies are mostly easy though!

[jenB]

In the photo below, I see a lot of you in Caroline's face. And then I weep with happiness for you and my pure love of babies.

[Anna]

I'm weighing in late here on the thrush thing and also the Congratulations! thing. I am so so happy for you and your beautiful beautiful (all three of them) children. A family of five.

Newborns often have white coated tongues because they don't make much saliva and they get breastmilk residue on them. I think that's why their breath smells so sweet. I'm sure a thrushy baby's mouth would smell different, although I couldn't swear to it, not having smelt one.

I'm sure someone has already told you everything I just said, but I thought I'd write it just in case.

[anon]

When Colette wrote Gigi, Audrey Hepburn must have been about 14 and starving (literally) in the Netherlands, so I think that, well, you have quite a lot on your mind these days and cannot possibly devote large sections of your brain to peripheral European cultural material. Caroline is in any case very touching and earnest, though she may turn out to be Steve's best sub-contractor yet.
(I think Colette was inspired mostly by Colette, and though I don't think she's an obvious role model, better Colette than the bandit.)

[KarenT]

I was going to comment on a comparative in comforting techniques between my two girls, division of labor between spouses, sibling love and rivalry, but I keep returning, with my mouth open in amazement, the your husband actually asked "how are you?"! My SAHD just greets me with a sense of relief that I am home, and disappears into his study...

[Kristin]

On thrush: try try try if you can not to let it GET to the point where the words "ground glass" and "worse than labor" and "excruciating" and (insert your favorite here) apply. In early stages, it can be confused with things like re-fill pain...until it starts happening when there's no refill going on. The yogurt is a good idea, but maybe think about adding acidophilus capsules in the highest concentration you can find. You can order gentian violet at the pharmacy without a prescription (if I remember right) -- they tend to have to order it in. Apply (with q-tip) to baby's mouth and your n*pples a couple of times a day (and resign yourself to some permanent purple stains on the clothes after the babies drool it all over you). Treat yourself AND babies at the same time, even if you're not sure which of you has it: with us, it was me and not the Boy, but we had to treat both to make sure we weren't passing it back and forth.

Dr. Sear's website has some good home remedy suggestions -- things like vinegar, acidophilus, sunlight (after washing/boiling everthing I could easily wash, I left a lot of the less easily washed stuff out in the backyard in the sun).

Ultimately, I needed two rounds of diflucan to completely knock it out (and I lost a boat load of hair in the process...) -- fairly powerful stuff: I think the nurse who finally put me onto it was reluctant to do so not because she didn't think I needed it (I was in tears in the office), but because it can have some hefty side effects. Before resorting to diflucan, maybe you can get a prescription for the "triple cream" - (I couldn't help but think of it as triple n*pple): it's got clotrimazole (same stuff in gyne-lotrimin or any yeast infection cream), nystatin, and something else (maybe an antibacterial, can't remember the name). That gets applied after EVERY nursing (to you), and wiped off before each one. The pharmacy will probably have to mix it for you, but I imagine they'd have the basic stuff and not have to order it in. I sometimes wish I'd skipped that and gone directly to big guns, but I think that was me: some women have very good results with just that. It definitely did HELP me -- I was just too far gone for it to clear it out entirely, and it roared back with a vengeance. You might try your OB first: they'll probably tell you if they need you to go to your primary instead.

And as an epilogue, once we cleared it, lest it come back, I was the acidophilus queen: the hefty expensive stuff from the alternative health clinic, that kind of thing. When we nursed less, I backed down to the medium expensive stuff from the local natural food place.

Best of luck -

[jody]

I know you are pumping, so maybe turn the pump suction down jut a hair. It can really pull on those glands and hurt you if it is too high.

Aside from this, just nurse frequently and use correct positioning of the wee ones and the soreness will decrease with a bit of time.

[Nancy]

Awwww! I'm so happy that you have three wonderful children- it couldn't happen to a nicer blogger. Congratulations!

[Sarah]

Their one-month appointment Tuesday! Wow!

[Kelly]

Not so much with the first (who'd only sleep on our chests, upright, for the first 3m of life), but #2 would almost only sleep if he was snuggled up beside us. Seeing as we didn't have a spare bed at the time we'd take shifts sleeping on the couch with him. I'd raise my arm up to pillow my head and he'd be snuggled up in my armpit. That's a pretty fond memory for me, despite appearances.

[Loona]

When my twins had thrush as newborns, I didn't have any symptoms myself. I rubbed on nystatin anyway. Now they are 7 mos and one has it again (after taking antibiotics). This time I have it, but it is really really mild compared to the stuff I found googling it to self-diagnose. It's only because I am no longer in that early-nursing soreness that I can even tell I have it.

[Anne]

Ok, "Fredward" made me laugh really hard, because I have a friend who, when she was in middle school, thought that "Nedward" would be the perfect name for her future son. Seriously. (She grew out of it, fortunately!)

[kathleen999]

I must say, you are very lucky...the night of hell you are describing was our every single night. The boys would not eat or sleep at the same time. We were an around-the-clock diner/hotel for them. It was completely exhausting. People kept telling us to get them on the same schedule, but how do you make a newborn eat when you want him to eat? Or sleep, for that matter.

I wish you a babyhood of easy nights...you deserve it after all you have been through to have these babies.

[Chickenpig]

I have a soft and squishy leather recliner/rocker in the nursery that works great. It works for a crash nap, and the rocking motion is great to calm the boys down. The leather smells nice, too, it's easy to clean, and will look great in another room whenever we decide to move it.

I have one boy that is a snuggle bug, but the other shrugged off sleeping in my arms or snuggled up to his brother very early on. After 6 weeks the only place he wanted to sleep was in the swing.

You're going to be one tired mommy if you do all the night work by yourself. E and C are sleeping pretty good with you now, and they may stay that way, but they may also perk up as they get bigger and stronger and start to run you ragged. I suggest taking shifts during the night so both you and Steve get a guaranteed amount of unbroken sleep every night. I took the early shift, which meant feeding them and putting them down at 10/11, and getting up with them anytime before 2. Between 2 and 6 my husband did the night feeding and changing, then he could grab another hour of sleep (maybe) before work. Trying to produce enough milk for twins, recovering from a twin pregnancy and birth, and taking care of two infants pretty much exclusively during the day is too much for you without some good sleep. Steve is going to have to step up a little soon or you really will be dying.

[Stephanie]

Is there any room for negotiation in your nighttime arrangement? Cuz from where I sit, it sounds like Steve is getting off too easy.

[kris]

Long time reader, occasional delurker. Anyway, the Gigi story with Audrey Hepburn goes as so: Colette chose Audrey to play Gigi in the play (not the musical) version based on the novella (I think -- or was it a short story?) of the same name. Play came before the musical. Not sure if on the London stage or Broadway.

So Gigi-the-novella wasn't inspired by Audrey. But when the time came to cast it, Colette thought Audrey was perfection. There's a cute photo of Colette coaching Audrey in the part somewhere....

I heart Audrey and Colette, as you can tell. :) If Caroline is anything like Audrey, she must be exquisite. And big congrats to you on the new additions!

[manuka]

Ah, Dreadward - love it :) We have a small Edward here and he gets all kinds of permutations - it's a fantastic name for playing with. "Bed-ward, Edward!" is frequently heard around here of an evening. And of course shortened to Ed, the possibilities for silly rhymes are endless. We have #2 on the way and I am seriously doubting I will ever find another name that's as much fun.

Don't believe I have said this already, so: heartfelt and joy-filled congratulations to you all on the blossoming of your family :)

[Sophie K]

Julia, you amaze me! Looking after a new bean and beanette and still find the time to keep up with writing and updating all your fans! I think you (and the little ones) are doing incredibly well.
It makes me all weepy with happiness.

[Jen A]

Just saw your post at Redbook about Caroline's hospitalization. I'm glad that she seems to be doing well, but I'm so sorry about all the worry and stress you're going through. Thinking of you guys.

[Anna in IL]

Hoping that Caroline returns to health quickly, and that your nerves survive. I can't imagine how scary it is to have a tiny one in the hospital, let alone having an equally tiny partner at home...

[Beth]

When my twins were small they slept much better when they were in the same crib. We would swaddle them so that they felt snug and cozy, and then we would lay them next to each other in the crib. It worked really well until about 5-6 months, when they started rolling over, and then it was time for separate cribs.

Anyway, I'm glad things are mostly going well for all of you. Hope you get the maybe-thrush situation fixed soon!