Muchness

After an absolutely great night (I love it when Caroline and Edward just wake up to eat and then fall promptly asleep again) I was all ready to go on an excursion today. The library maybe or even the Y. I had somehow forgotten that we belong to the Y until someone here suggested using the indoor track at a university and I thought, hey! indoor track! I wonder if we're still... and we are. Very good suggestion.

Which brings me to the subject of unsolicited advice and the apologies that almost always accompany it. Please don't. I mean, please don't apologize if you think of something and want to put it up here. Although I get the concept of assvice, I don't really. It seems to me that if I mention Edward's weak latch and you think oh! the nipple shield helped me with that and leave this fact in the comment section there are only a few possibilities: I have never heard of a nipple shield and I try it; I have heard of it and do not want to try it for some reason; or I have already tried it and it did not work for me. In any case it was a nice thought and if it is not relevant to me, personally,it probably can help someone else here (I did by the way try a nipple shield with Edward as a result of a comment [plus the lactation consultant had said it might be a good option] and it did help - so many thanks. Colicmommy, for another example, left two thoughtful and much appreciated comments recently in which she talked about general baby behavior around six weeks and what helps them to fall sleep or be soothed. In theory I have done this all before but in reality I never figured out how to get Patrick to sleep so I have no idea what the hell I am doing this time around either. When she mentioned that babies around this age can no longer just fall asleep without a little help it was like someone turned on the lights for me. I moved naps out of the living room and into the bedroom and as a result things are much calmer here during the day. Granted some days are spent going back and forth into one room or another to rock somebody, but it is better. So thank you and any time you want to make a suggestion about something feel free.

Where was I? Oh right, not going to the Y today because it is -4 degrees outside. You know what sucks? The only thing I did any research on whatsoever before having Caroline and Edward was infant car seats. Since Patrick is still in his big ol' side-impact-safe-booster-seat we needed to find baby seats that were slim enough to fit in the back seat with it. Two bog standard Graco's, for example, were too wide. So I looked online and discovered that the Chicco Keyfit 30 was narrower than other seats and bought two and they all do squeeze in back there, barely (we have a mid-size SUV, by the way, if you are trying to proactively deal with something similar). What I completely failed to consider, however, is that hauling two car seats around is painful. On my first and last trip to Target (just before the pediatrician appointment from hell, actually) I learned that you cannot fit two car seats into one shopping basket. Further, I learned that the Keyfit does not snap into the elevated part of a shopping basket at all. So I put heavy Edward's seat in the basket, the stuff I wanted to buy under the basket, and I carried Caroline around. I have not chosen to repeat this experiment because it hurt. My shoulder ached and I got bruises on the back of my leg where I kept hitting the seat against myself as I walked. The alternative to this is to take the babies out of the seats and put them into the stroller in the parking lot, but when it is this cold out that is simply insane if it is not absolutely necessary. I brooded on this dilemma for a while and finally remembered the snap n' go stroller base thing into which you can snap infant seats. It arrived yesterday and I was quite pleased until we discovered that the Keyfit does not work with it. So that was that and I continue to be stuck here. Unless you can think of something.

Edward is definitely seeing more. I dug the box of Patrick's baby stuff out of the basement and decided to try his old mobile on Edward's crib (nobody ever actually sleeps in the cribs but I like to keep sticking them in there for variety). Patrick never cared for it but Edward was entranced. He lay there with his head going back and forth as the mobile went around, watching for a very long time while the dangling things spun. He also seems to like the baby mirror I pulled out, so clearly he has some vision. Oh, and two days ago he looked directly at Caroline and smiled at her. This would have been an awwwww hand on your heart moment but for the fact that Caroline was screaming her head off at the time. Edward's first actual smile and it was malicious. At least we have identified which one is the sinister twin.

The thing with the cysts (for what it is worth but if my eye doctor sources are correct it is unlikely that any of you will deal with anything similar - iris cysts are rare, I hear) is this: they will not ever go away but they should also not get any bigger. The eyes, however, do get bigger so as the eye grows the impact of the cysts diminishes. Right now the cysts in Edward's eyes are blocking light to the retina but as he grows more and more light gets through. Our follow-up appointment in a month is to see (ahem) if he is getting enough light through on his own or if we will need to dilate his pupils with daily drops to widen them artificially. The absolute worst case scenario is that they would have to aspirate them at some point, which really is not that bad. So, I am not worried about it. And... how to say... you just have to deal with what you get. If Edward has vision problems then Edward will learn how to live with that. You have a baby and you want everything about them and for them and around them to be perfect perfect perfect but that isn't reality. He'll be fine, regardless.

Patrick starts FULL DAY KINDERGARTEN tomorrow (clang clang clang, as the steeple bells ring and the villagers cheer) so I am going to go appreciate his afternooness while I still can.

Baby pictures:

Caroline is amused

Edward is sleepy

Hope you are well.

   

Comments

[txmama]

Oh my goodness, Caroline's hair is the greatest. Thanks for the update.

[Beka]

They are just darling! No advice from me, as I'm just an IFer who's finally expecting for the first time. I'm here for the baby (and Patrick) stories! :)

[Isabel]

Oh man, those are some gorgeous babies! LOVE THEM.

XOXO

[Jackie]

I'm not sure what your currently night time sleeping routine is, but I have a friend that has tripletes and she finds they sleep better when they are all in the same crib. This of course only works until they start moving around! lol

They look GREAT in the pictures, too cute!!

And I LOVE your additude about Edward.

[Amanda]

Ahhhh, I melt at the cute baby pictures!

[Lisa]

Wow, they look so different already! Caroline particularly looks older -- maybe it's the hair? I think you have a great attitude and all things considered I agree that Edward will be just fine. Sorry that you're homebound -- that would drive me nuts. But it will be spring soon enough!

[mandy]

This thread I found on using the Chicco Keyfit with the Snap n Go seems to indicate that people do it even though technically it may not be advised by the companies: http://www.car-seat.org/showthread.php?t=34291

Hope you find a way to get out and about soon (when the weather cooperates).

[Brooke]

FWIW Keyfits don't snap into the top of the shopping cart for safety reasons. That is, babies and carseats can (and do) fall off of the cart. I assume Chicco didn't want the liability.

Also, for when you need convertible seats: Radians are really narrow. Getting three across with a booster is going to be hard since you need to be able to reach down and buckle the booster. When you're looking for new seats carseat.org is helpful for figuring out what works for three across in your car.

[Audrey]

Aww, look at those precious babies! *snuggles them*

Good luck staying warm!

[winecat]

Burr...

They are so cute and looking so grown up already. I really like the way you're thinking about Edward and his eyes.

[Sarah from Illinois]

Love love LOVE the baby pictures. So glad to hear that you're enjoying all three of your babes. Motherhood is a wonderful thing.

-Sarah

[Jen]

I found when my twins were still in the infant seats the easiest way to shop with both of them was to put one in his car seat in the cart (usually the basket) and wear one in the baby bjorn. Works like a dream! Hope this helps. Congrats on your lovely babes.

[Abby]

They are beautiful and you are blessed, and I am jealous! I have 5.5 months to go before I can hold my firstborn. I'll learn through you ...

[Jan]

Since you asked ....

I had c-sections with my babies and so was advised not to lift anything heavier than the baby for 6 to 8 weeks. My OB correctly (and pointedly, I might add) reminded me that baby + carseat = heavier than baby. Which is my ever so long way of explaining why I always unbuckled and carried my newborns into Target. I don't have twins, but my kids are close-ish together, so was dealing with two at once. I just carried the little one in a Snugli/Bjorn/sling and put the other in the cart. So that might work for you.

I am loving the discussion about car seat width, because I want to have one more and my husband's most compelling argument against it to date is that we would have to BUY A NEW CAR.

[Elizabeth]

"At least we have identified which one is the sinister twin"

Bwahahahaha! Thant all I have to say about that:)

[plum]

Oh Julia, my heart melts with pleasedness for you (is that a word?!) when I see your little darlings. Am absolutely no help with sub-artic excursion logistics (here in sunny Melbourne) except to suggest that Steve or someone else accompany you. So that one person can carry the babies indoors and the other takes the stroller and you pop them in once inside. Perhaps if you ring ahead the Y people could help you. Or you could simply bottle fruit indoors all winter a la Diane Keaton in Baby Boom.

[Priscilla]

Mmmmm...sweet baby pictures! Love.

Not to beat a dead horse about the Moby Wrap sling, but, I brought my 3 month old home from Guatemala in January last year. January in the N'east does not equal the mild Guatemala weather she was used to, so I would get in the back seat with her, shut the door, get her out of her carseat and into the sling, then pile my big coat on over us both and be off! Much, much easier than trying to bundle her up. Hope something similar will work for you!

[Priscilla]

ooh, one more thing. once they can sit up, at least a little, with support, you could try wearing them under your coat until you get inside, and then using a buggy bag in the cart. it's a little padded seat cover thingy to keep germs off your little cuties. i had heard the horror stories about babies flipping out of their carseats in the carts, so I wore my baby in a sling until she was big enough to sit by herself in the cart seat. Since you have two, I would think they could both sit in it at a young age b/c they would help prop each other up? just a guess/idea.

good luck! it took me a while to figure out how to target with ease with a little one.

[cooler*doula]

Goodness, they're lovely.Edward looks positively chunky.

Good info on the Chicco Keyfit from you and your readers - thank you. Dang - it's probably the only 30/30 that will fit into the back of my Mini Cooper. So I will have to live with the shopping basket deal... Hmmmmm...

[carosgram]

They are adorable!

[lindsayc]

so sweet - and I second the bjorn/sling what have you + a car seat option for transport. It works great for me and I have a toddler who goes in the cart seat and the baby who is in the bjorn. Just try not to bonk the one in the bjorn moving the other one around. My poor dude gets bumped a bit when I am not paying enough attention due to toddler antics!

[Sarah]

They are so beautiful. I think the whole assvice thing comes up because we all feel a little shy and want to proactivly disqualify the advice if you don't like it. To with:
Perhpas you should buy car seats taht fit the sap and go and carry them with instead of installing them? You wuould probably need a second car for all that crap, but being stuck in the house since October? That is crazy making!

[Sarah]

I meant to write: to wit!

[Sandra]

I have no parenting advice whatsoever (at this moment)... but I would love to add that I LOVE LOVE LOVE the sense of self that you bring to your writing. If presented with ten blogs including this one, I believe I would instantly recognize yours because your voice is so very distinctive. God bless you for that.

And I laughed mightily about the sinister twin.

[maggie]

How about a sling for one baby, and the other goes in the car seat in the shopping cart? Or did someone already say that?

[Anne Glamore]

When I had twins and an older one, I'd call the neighborhood store and tell them what I needed and then swing buy and they'd bring it our to me. To make it to Jazzercise, I'd stick one twin in single stroller, make older kid walk, and hold smaller twin.

It was months before I got anywhere by myself with all the boys and was able to purchase anything bigger than say, a pair of panties, but hey-- I took tons of pictures and I'm glad as I barely remember those days at all.

Now (12, 9,9) the big punishment is that the offender doesn't get to push the cart.

[Ruth]

Caroline has such bright eyes! And is Edward's hair sort of reddish?

And I sort of hate to say it, but .... minivan?

[Elizabeth]

I have loved your writing ever since I stumbled across your blog, and I am very glad there are now two sites where I can read it. But if you gave up writing and just posted photos of your adorable babies I would probably be to busy melting to spend a lot of time lamenting the lost of the actual words.

Anyhow, I just wanted to echo the comments about using a carrier. When my baby was born last winter, I was worried about taking her outside in the cold, and that was only DC winter. I used a Kangaroo Korner fleece pouch. It kept the baby snug against me, so she was getting the warmth from my body, plus the cozy outfit I had her in, plus the carrier, plus my jacket which was buttoned over us. I think the pouch is a good bet when you are first using carriers because it is easy to put on and pop the baby in--not much of a learning curve to do a tummy-to-tummy hold. I was able to use the one-shoulder carrier until she was 3-4 months old (about 15 pounds, I guess), and at that point she was sturdy enough and I was learning enough about carriers that we switched to a meitai.

[mama without instructions]

they are so beautiful!

in the carrier/sling department, we love the ergo (www.ergobabycarrier.com) carrier. of several good slings and other front carriers it is the only thing that hasn't killed my back and works for a toddler on the back as well.

my 10 month old grins when her toddler brother pitches a fit. it was one of the first things to make her smile when she was just weeks old. i worry about these two.

[Julie]

My goodness - they are so precious! The hair! The eyes! It's all just perfect...even if it isn't. Much love from the cold recesses of Ohio!

[Sarah Vela]

it's really too bad that they are not at all cute and you will have to send them back. such a pity.

i remember well the bruises on the back of the legs, and the sore wrists, and the aching shoulders from carrying those horrible seats around. i also remember just shoving one car seat on the front part of the cart and putting the other seat inside the cart and sort of holding the more precarious seat with my hand and throwing items on the baby in the cart and no one fell over and hit their head. it worked ok. oh but it is OH SO JOYOUS when they can walk. also? hiring someone just once or twice a week, some teenager say, to go to target or the grocery store for you, or to sit with your babies while you escape to target or the grocery store. this is a good thing, and well worth considering. maybe even get your nails done...

[Keri]

You have BEAUTIFUL children!

[Kristine]

Oh my goodness...they are so freaking adorable!!

Interesting about the Keyfit 30. I have that for Keil and I use the snap and go with it just fine. Mine is just a single though, not sure if that is the issue.

Isn't that a heavy carseat though? I have bruises on my right arm from carrying it. I'm not sure how much more weight Kiel can gain and still be able to carry him in it. He's 13 pounds now and I'm struggling. Or maybe I'm just a wimp?

[Shelley]

My (boy/girl)twins are almost 14 now, but I can remember what a pain winter was - especially since their toddler brother was an escape artist! I learned some tricks so I could go out, but the time #1 son pulled the little-plastic-thing-that-holds-the-top of-a-gallon-of-milk-on off and dumped the milk all over the grocery store before I even realized it while toting the twins in the stroller...I started shopping alone at midnight!

[Toni]

Boy...they are HUGE. Really - they are getting so big. How did that happen?

What about getting a double stroller for outings? I like the side by side - and you can fit it in a doorway.

Congrats on full day K...I just wish it had happened sooner for you!

[Ang]

Caroline's perfectly arched eyebrow and Edward's pudgy little fingers! There are no words! They're getting big. I don't know what I was expecting, but hey! babies grow! Who knew?

[Tine]

I don't have time to read the comments, so someone already may have said this, but in case no one did...

Sling one of the babes when you go shopping. Whoever's awake or fussier, I suppose.

I'd say put on the sling (a very compact one, like a Hotsling -- which basically looks like a big scarf) before you get your coat on. (Wear a roomy coat.) Then when you arrive at the store, but before you get out of the car, undo your coat, pop baby in sling, and (if you can) do up coat again to keep the chill out. With an SUV, you should have enough room to make this maneuver inside the vehicle. Grab other carseat (with baby #2 in it), and into the store you go.

I don't have twins, but this is basically what I did when I had a 2-year-old and a newborn in frigid MN March weather. Except that said 2-year-old was mobile, and he rode in the shopping cart seat at Target.

Hope this helps!

[Sarah]

I want to third the one baby in a bjorn, second baby in the car seat in the cart idea. My twins just turned one and I still have one in a carrier (an ERGO carrier- these are awesome for heavy/older babies) and now the other baby can be seated and strapped in. We have a twinivan, so it was actually possible for me to get all the way into the van in cold weather, situate a baby in the bjorn, zip him up inside my coat and than grab the second carseat and head in the store. I have also pulled one cart behind me as I pushed another, which isn't as terrible as it sounds. Just plan for the grocery/Target trip to take 5-6 times longer than it does when you are alone!

[celeste]

Thank you for posting updates and pictures on the babes. It's wonderful seeing how fast they develop!

Someone needs to invent a twin Baby Bjorn type carrier.

They're beautiful Julia. Keep up the good work!

[persephone]

Argh, the double snap & go was so handy for shopping with that big basket below! FWIW, our graco snugrides were not a perfect fit either, even though they were supposed to be - we used bungee cords for an extra seat belt, and steered carefully so it wouldn't tip over. I don't know if you can somehow finesse the fit with yours, but it might be worth a little experimenting.

My best other advice is what a few others have said. Get a moby wrap (if you can't get hold of one, email me and I'll send you one of ours). Tie it on yourself before you leave the house. Put your maternity winter coat over that (I'm assuming you had one with the weather out there, but if not, just borrow an oversize coat from somebody). When you get to the store, take one baby out of the car seat and put into the wrap, then close your coat around you both. Quick, warm, and virtually weightless.

A bjorn will work too, but IMO there's no comparison with a moby. It does take a bit longer to learn to tie it though, so if the bjorn is already familiar and will get you out of the house with less hassle, by all means use that.

[Samantha]

Hey Julia, can we get a Patrick/Edward/Caroline all together picture? I'd LOVE to see the three of them!

[Meegan]

Well, you always gotta have one sinister twin. Good you flushed him out early! Hilarious.

They are edible. With spoons. So, so cute!

[andrea]

Seconding the idea that multiples sleep better together (at least at first). My twin girls slept much better together in the same cot when tiny. When they're younger they're not that sensitive hearing wise, so one could be screaming and the other would not stir. They looked so gorgeous in the same cot and occasionally when not swaddled or when they would get lose from the swaddling they'd hold hands in their sleep.

Now, at almost nine months, they regularly wake each other. They're in separate cots but in the same room. I wish to god we had the space for each to have their own room ... one day.

Your weather sound scary. Here (Melbourne, Australia) it is presently 17C after a 35C day yesterday and I feel mighty chilly. I have experienced Arctic-like temperatures in Toronto and cannot imagine getting tiny babies out and about in that kind of weather.

[andrea]

LOOSE from the swaddling. Not LOSE. I don't want to tell you about the eight-month sleep regression and twins, which has given me four hours of sleep a night for a fortnight now ...

[MG]

I was going to suggest the same thing as Maggie (above). Those babies are absolutely gorgeous!

[Brenna]

There is this thing:

http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=533870

It doesn't look particularly comfortable, but if you can't find anything better, it would at least save you from having to take one or both of them out of the infant seat in the cold.

[Aurelia]

Yep, they are beautiful babies! And I hope someone mentions more kinds of cars here because honestly, the issue isn't finding a smaller carseat, it's giving up on a 3 across in the second row.

Technically you might be able to do it, until you have to squeeze your hands in to buckle up boosters or something gets stuck underneath and you have to take things out and put them back.

Time for three rows, and no, minivans aren't necessary, but a third row will also let you deal with visitors and playdates and friends coming over, without feeling like you are overcrowded and the kids are hitting each other and fighting and spilling food on each other.

I know it seems like a lot of money---but it will seem like hell one day when you are unable to stop at the side of the roads and someone has thrown up on the other one.

3 row SUV, repeat after me.

[uberimma]

Oh the gorgeousness!

:)

[Jenn]

Ditto wearing one and putting the other in the basket part of the cart. They do make slings for twins, though I've never tried them.

[Ruta]

www.thebabywearer.com has a forum on wearing more than one: http://www.thebabywearer.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=59

I would definitely consider wearing at least one of them... it would give you your hands back and not kill your back/shoulders/hips like carrying the car seat.