Ori Kami

The hell? I was just about to cheerfully wish Patrick a fond farewell this morning when Steve told me there is no school for some reason. I had to have another cup of tea to restore myself. I was going to get so much done today, too. I was going to finish the tax organizer that has been sucking up all my free time for the past couple of weeks, do one final load of laundry before I throw away all of our clothes so I never have to wash them again, and shop online for that thing I need that I can only seem to remember when I am nowhere near the computer. Seriously. There is some THING that I really need, some THING that will solve all my problems and make life one grand sweet song but I am damned if I can figure out what it is right now. I knew at three o'clock last night but now... gone again. Most annoying and in complete harmony with my new habit of wandering from room to room with no idea of where I was going or what I intended to do once I got there.

Apart from the obliteration of my short term memory I am doing quite well. I suppose. It is rare that I think lovingly of my lifelong insomnia but my ability to thrive on tiny amounts of sleep is treating me kindly these days. Although Caroline... um, I can barely even say it... Caroline has been sleeping through the night. It is the weirdest thing. Yesterday she slept from 11 to 6, today it was 10 to 5 and then she falls back asleep after being fed. This is so alien to my experience (I own every single sleep book ever published - seriously - and nothing ever worked with Patrick. ever) that I don't know what to do with myself. Imagine if she was my only baby - the mind boggles. Of course my sweet and chunky Edward is still up a few times every night so from my point of view Caroline's sleeping habits are more an item of trivia than anything but still... wow. She sleeps in the bassinet right next to the nursery chair and as I feed Edward I look at her puffing her little lips out as she dreams and I just shake my head.

Oh, I have to ask, to the billion or so people (most especially my local twin mom friend who repeated this point to me every single day of my pregnancy) who insist that the only way to survive two concurrent infancies is to get them on the same schedule: are you HIGH? Two babies needing to be fed and changed and burped and cuddled at the same time - ON PURPOSE? Caroline and Edward worked in sync for the first several weeks and it was really freaking hard. Not only is it almost impossible to feed two floppy babies at the same time but what do you do when reflux-y baby one is finished and needs to be burped and held upright but reflux-y baby two is still eating? Granted I suppose there is something to be said for only getting up one time per session rather than twice at unspecified intervals but criminey! You would need six hands. Oh. Oh right. I know what you are thinking, you are wondering where the father is in all this, aren't you? Well, maybe it's Stockholm Syndrome but I still think that it makes more sense for Steve to sleep all night. It's not his fault that a lack of sleep makes him both stupid and obnoxious whereas I only need to close my eyes for two hundred seconds every few days in order to be as scintillating and sweet as ever. If it was just that he becomes a complete tool when he is tired (and he does - ohhhh yes he does) I might be tempted to live with it and pour cold water all over him every time the babies wake up, but I cannot discount that his ability to string sentences together during the day is the only thing keeping me and the children from living under a stump somewhere. I do not support us all by blogging, you know. So it seems, I don't know, only fair that I should get the 11 to 7 shift in exchange for which he buys me tea and brownies. And most days at 7ish when I stagger into our bed he takes whoever is awake plus Patrick until he has to drive him to school a little before nine. Eh, it works for us.

So rather than doing any of the things I intended I have spent the morning playing with Patrick. Patrick who announced that today is Origami Day. ORIGAMI day? How... unusual. Actually the number of holidays that occur in the winter have spoiled Patrick, rather. Christmas, Valentine's, there was a hundredth day of school folderol that appealed to Patrick's numerical side... he has come to expect a thrill a minute, this kid. Which reminds me: he had Presidents' Day off and while I was sitting on the couch tending to the babies and humming tunelessly he walked over and looked at me for a bit.

"This isn't much of a holiday celebration," he complained.

I had to laugh. A pity that Presidents Day is really more about discounted furniture than childish wonder, isn't it?

But back to Origami Day. Patrick must've read a book on origami lately because he kicked off our morning by asking out of nowhere if I know how to make an origami crane.

No.

Origami boat?

No.

Box? Butterfly? ANYTHING?

No no n... wait. Yes! Some time in the depths of elementary school I learned how to make an origami ball. Would Patrick like to see it? Of course he would. I got paper and started folding, really talking myself up the whole time.  You know how you fold it and then fold it again and then tuck those bits under and then blow in the top and voila? Well, I thought it was cool.

Patrick looked at my offering and said, "Or!" and then took a piece of paper and crumpled it up.

"There! A paper ball!"

So I showed him how to make a fortune teller (aka cootie catcher aka whatever you called it in your part of the world) and wrote things in it like "You will go into space one day" and "You will travel around the world". I finally impressed him.

Game. Set. Match. Honors? Mine, thank you very much.

Oh and before I forget, Edward and Caroline were vaccinated yesterday and it really sucked. Not the shots so much as the subsequent crying and fevers last night. This is my two second take on immunizations: they terrify me. Although adverse reactions are rare, the idea of taking my healthy baby into the doctor and winding up on the wafer's edge of terrible statistics is truly alarming. We have family friends whose daughter received a bad vaccine at six months and has been institutionalized for the past forty years as a result. Gaaaaaaaah. So I worry about it. However, I am a firm believer in vaccinations as a matter of public health policy. While stories of individual tragedy exist it is impossible to argue against them on a global level. Routine vaccinations have made many previously common childhood diseases, diseases that can be fatal or permanently debilitating, rare to the point of near eradication. So I think it is important and I swallow the risks and hope like hell that nothing goes wrong. I am aware that in doing so I am not only helping to keep my kids safer but your kids too - whether or not you choose to vaccinate them - and I am fine with that provided you are just quietly grateful and don't bitch at me about it if you tend toward cranky on the subject. 

Of course I have only reached this point of greater goodness now that Edward and Caroline are back to their sunny placid selves. Last night when Edward was inconsolable for the first time in his life I was furious and hated everybody. All hail infant Tylenol, by the way.

Finally, for what it is worth I cannot post a comment at REDBOOK either. I wanted to leave Alyssa one because I accidentally posted on top of her and I have never figured out what the etiquette is... well, anyway, I get weird error messages too. Nor can I see the picture I put up. I expect they will fix it eventually. In the meantime, nothing like photos to pass the time, eh?

This is Patrick and Edward

This is Patrick telling Caroline and Edward about Alpha Centauri. They are riveted.

And Dreadward alone.

Wishing a very Happy Origami Day to you and yours.

Comments

[Loth]

Ah, the numb mindless blur of the early baby days. I lost my car keys once when my son was a couple of weeks old. Found them in the fridge. Your children are just gorgeous. All hail to you, madam. (You are taking credit for their gorgeousness, I take it?)

[victoria]

those are some beautiful kiddos you've got yourself there! But, where is one of Caroline?

[wonder woman]

The picture of Patrick talking to his little babies, and the way they are riveted...words fail me. And goodness does Caroline look like Patrick, or what? Same nose, same cheeks. You can really see it from the angles of their faces in the picture. So sweet. Thanks for sharing.

[Audrey]

Oh, as always, your kids are gorgeous! I love Caroline's expression in that second photo....

[Patty]

They are BEAUTIFUL.

I have twins and couldn't deal with getting them on a schedule until they were out of the floppy stage. After that, life was grand. :)

[celeste]

The pictures are hilarious. Patrick looks like he's doing the Dr. Evil finger pose from Austin Powers in the first picture and a one-armed push-up over the babies in the next. So adoreable! I can't believe how big they are!

[Lori]

I think Patrick must think Edward is 'Mini Me', as he seems to be doing his best Dr Evil impersonation.

http://www.austinpowers.com/drevil/

Seriously, though, you're children are beautiful!!

[Candy]

I almost can't stand how cute they are. And I absolutely love how Caroline and Edwards limbs are all intertwined. Some habits are hard to give up, I guess.

I hear you on the immunization issue. I am SO SO SO glad I don't have little babies in this era, because 15 years ago, you just had them immunized. It's what we did. Now you have this whole CHOICE thing, which frankly, isn't always what it's chalked up to be.

I'd have done as you did, and crossed all digits. So consider mine crossed.

[Phoenix]

I love the pictures. Especially the one at the end, Edwards cheeks are just too cute.

[Woody's Girl]

Yup, I was going to say the same thing about "Dr. Evil!" LOL Your kids are SO cute, Julia... totally adorable! Please post pictures daily. I mean, it's not like you have anything ELSE to do with your time, right?

[Katie]

Julia, I'm with you on the immunization thing being a "necessary evil" (very slight potential harm but really huge global good). I have written a vaccinations post after reading up a bit on the issue, as I have little ones, too. Please don't feel preached at, but I'd love for you to read it: http://treatingautism.wordpress.com/2008/01/24/vaccines-some-things-ive-been-learning-originally-written-10807/

or go to my blog and choose the Vaccines category.

:) ~Katie

[babelbabe]

i am the same way about H sleeping at night...as he must be coherent and functioning at work so I can stay home and birth babies...nice to know I'm not alone in this craziness : )Plus, I can't stand how pathetic he gets when he's tired, while I just suck it up....men.

The babies (all three) are so cute. Congrats again!

[Robyn]

Someone (thank you Great Universe) told me to bring my babies straight home from a vaccination and get them (and their sore arms) into a lukewarm bath for a little while. I tried it and it certainly seemed to help minimise the occurance of those terrible sob sessions of the night after.

Those photos are fabulous.

[Dara]

I too am petrified of the dreaded vaccines. Our eldest regressed terribly after her MMR shot at 17 months. She didn't speak until almost 3 and the evaluators tossed about the "A" word....she is in kindergarten now with speech 5 times a week. She's getting there, at her own pace. My husband and I debated if we should have the baby vaccinated and we opted to do so, but on a different schedule.
Thanks for posting the pics!!!! What a bunch of cuties!!!

[Sheila]

Yeah, that same-schedule idea sounds good but it's really hard to do. With triplets we kept them staggered for the first few months, until it didn't take an hour to feed and change each one. I was so scared that if they all started crying at once I could not handle it without help. With hindsight I think that would have happened very rarely and I would have been fine - but that was my logic at the time, as exhausted and hormonal as I was. Whatever, you do what seems to work, right? And if it stops working, you make a change.

Yay for you making Patrick a fortune-teller. Our gang think it's very funny when you put the names of family members and favourite teddy bears under the flaps, and then ask questions like "Who likes to drive the car?" or "Who is going to win our game of Go Fish tonight?"

Oh, and we propped refluxy babies at that helpful 45' angle in a bouncy chair, swing or infant car seat for 20 minutes to half an hour after feeding. Seemed to help, at least a bit.

Best wishes,

[daysgoby]

They're all so BEAUTIFUL!!!!

[Sheridan]

The last photo? Edward is totally YOU!!

[Lisa V]

I was talking with someone one day who said they aren't having their children vaccinated because it's not needed since all the diseases are gone. Um, they are gone because people vaccinated, in essence my children's vaccinations made it possible for others to choose not to. I didn't argue with her, and I don't want to argue with anyone about it ever. I truly believe to each his own, but I went in favor of statistics and figured that they were on the side of safety. Luckily our gamble turned out fine.

I am truly sorry for those who were on the other side of those stats. I am sure it is heartbreaking.

[jen]

Such gorgeous children!

I could not have expressed how *I* feel about vaccinations better than how you expressed how you feel about them. We are completely sympatico.

I feel fortunate that my gamble turned out fine, as well. My middle son has Asperger's, but I think people who think that Autism *spectrum disorders* are caused by vaccinations don't understand the word "spectrum."

[Jo]

It is a sad commentary indeed that by comparison, twins are easier than Patrick! People who have never had a high needs kid, really, really don't get it.

[Gillian]

They are all delectable. It is probably tasteless to talk about little ones as if they were hors d'oeuvres but what am I to do when even Patrick at his advanced age seems to have the cheeks grandparents love to nibble on. And the infants -- they cry out for nuzzling don't they? :-)

[Sarah]

OhMyGod! all of your children are so lovely and beautiful.

[Marsha]

1) My kids were extremely disappointed that my answer to "Who is coming for Valentine's Dinner?" was "Uh, no one." So disappointed that my daughter tore up the picture of a heart that she had drawn for me because I had "ruined her Valentines" by not inviting the family for a Christmas-type feast.

2) My husband's sleep deprived alter ego is named Tired Boy and he's a total ass.

[Penny]

"However, I am a firm believer in vaccinations as a matter of public health policy. "
I adore you for this. "Herd immunity" they call it, right?

I really truly believe in the same. However, I read something recently that did shake me a little bit. Remember that vaccine they recently developed for HPV to help prevent some forms of female cervical cancer & other diseases (they say)? Well, it turns out vaccinating boys will help lowering rates for female cervical cancers. Of course, it makes sense. Of course I believe in the entire herd immunity thing. But goodness, even I can see why it's difficult to convince parents to do the same. The article (from NYT) mentioned that the difficulties partly arise from sensitivities about kids and sex.

I really do understand why Churchill (reportedly) said that Democracy is a very bad form of government, though other forms are worse. The thought sure comes up. Though I feel snobby for thinking so, I am slightly less snobby for thinking that I may also be used as an argument for why democracy is indeed a bad form of government.

Oh well.

Not sure why I commented today. I am adverse to commenting.

Those babies are adorable. Every time I see a picture of either, however, it reinforces my mental image of them both always pleasantly observing the world and communicating with their eyes. I am sure they never sleep or cry or any such thing.

[Deb]

Oh. My. Goodness.

*Catching breath*

They are so beautiful- all three of them.

I want to scoop them all up for a great big cuddle. Then I want to introduce Patrick to my two 4 year old grand-daughters (a match made in heaven perhaps?). All the while cuddling Caroline and Edward, of course.

Oh,Julia- so beautiful.

Thanks so much for the update!

Deb

[cagey]

Delurking to say that you expressed quite succinctly my own policy on vaccinations. I thank you for our own eloquence.

I did have a 2nd grade classmate die from complications of chickenpox and I will admit that has followed me forever. How could it not?

[Kim]

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THE PICTURES!!!! As they say, you know, worth a thousand words and all! Patrick is growing up sooo much! Absolutely adorable threesome...

And all I have to say is, by the time Caroline and Edward hit preschool, they are going to be the smartest four year olds in the class after being so lovingly tutored by Patrick!!

[G]

Ever since my oldest had high fevers after vaccination, I have (with my pediatrician'sapproval) given the infant/children's Tylenol 1 hour before the vaccination. You might ask your dr about that. I also strongly believe in the moral imperative of vaccinations, although I spread some of them (within the correct time frame, just additional visits) and in particular put off that 1st hep b from irth until 2 months.

[Emily]

Look,

i understand your stance on vaccines. But just consider... the schedule is set as it is, not because it makes medical sense, but because parents are most likely to actually bring their kids in for appointments in the first year. There's some pretty good evidence that one of the problems with vaccines is that we are overloading youn imune systems too early. The argument is that the risk of overload is negligible verses the risk of not vaccinating at all.

But if you plan to do all the vaccines anyway, there's no real reason to make the kids get 3 or 4 at a time. Yo can put off the really unlikely ones like Hep B, and the really risky ones like DPT, until they are older and just give the 1-2 shots at a time. THen you get the added benefit of knowing which vaccine was the problem if they do have a reaction, and you can save the rest of those for way later.

By school age, my kids are up to date, but we do 1 or 2 at a time, no more. I don't mind going back to the dr an extra time or two so we don't get too far behind.

Anyhoo, just a thought. They generally have a much milder reaction when they get fewer shots.

[Barbara]

http://www.wikihow.com/Special:LSearch?fulltext=Search&search=origami

Wiki-How : Origami :)

Thank you for your lovely stories :)

[Dawn]

'We' seem to be in the majority, but I wholeheartedly agree with the let sleeping husbands lie philosophy. The majority of my friends have been all about having their husbands stay with them in the hospital after having babies, and I cannot for the life of me imagine why this would be helpful. Honestly. TWO overtired, emotionally spent, uncomfortable people??? Why in the world would I give up my one link to sanity and calmness by making him 'sleep' on a ridiculously hard lumpy cot and do what while I feed and deal with baby?

Now, when I have little nursing babies who get up in the night, my husband does get up with any older children who may possibly awaken in the night (our #3 is 9 months). That I think is fair. But to both get up with one small baby? Don't get it. It's not even one of those things where I secretly wish my husband would, but in an show of outward solidarity I insist it's fine with me. I would be so irritated if he was awake with me in the night, and then of course cranky the next day because of it.

Sorry! Rant over. Love your blog. The childrens are adorable. Patrick reminds me a little of my own 5yo - mine's not as bright, I don't think, but the little idiosyncracies do strike a chord. :)

[Lisa S.]

Hi Julia... many years ago I was a stupid conservative and took offense at something you said about Republicans and in turn I blurted out some nonsense and said I would never read your blog again. I think I started reading again about a week later (secretly).

Oh, the shame. I admit it was me.

Anyway... just had to swallow it for a moment and let you know how freaking hilarious you (still) are. I also love how you and Steve have a system that works for you and you don't drag him thru the mud, I am SO SICK of hearing wives kvetch about their husbands, and you are handling this twin babyhood in a way that I didn't think was human. Are you real? I admire you so much. I wish I was the kind of normal sane person you are. And your kids are damn cute and you are just a really cool person. I wish I knew you in real life.

FYI, this time I am voting Democrat but I'm not sure which one. :)

[Melanie]

I've been reading your blog for a while now but I don't believe I've ever seen a photo of Patrick before - he is such a handsome little man! He's going to break some hearts someday.

And the twins! Goodness you make beautiful children. Also, I'm not sure I commented on their names yet, but I adore your choices.

I think the twins are being somewhat easy for you because you had to endure so much creating them. Its only fair that they continue to be easy children for the next 18 years.

And it wouldn't hurt my feelings if you posted more photos... I'm thrilled to see them.

[Priscilla]

Mmmm...such deliciousness! Lovely children, all three.

[Pam L]

Is there anything better to observe than siblings together like that? Too much. I saw two little boys at Target today, couldn't have been more than 15 months apart, looked identical, in an age appropriate way, and the older one was spontaneously taking the younger one's hand to help guide him through the store. Mine will more likely punch one another these days- in a fun-loving testosterone type manly kind of way, but to me , it's the same thing. You have a lovely brood.

[angelfeet]

Seeing them all together is lovely. I most definitely would be a wreck in your situation, (in fact I was a wreck with just one at a time), so all credit to you

[Alison]

"Well, maybe it's Stockholm Syndrome but I still think that it makes more sense for Steve to sleep all night" - laughing my arse off as usual by your writing. I don't know how you do it, with all of those children that you have demanding your time!!

Beautiful photos, thanks for posting!

[Kelly (Mamallama)]

No doubt about it, you make beautiful babies.

[Karen]

Ahhhhh...just beautiful kids, all three of them.

Ninety percent of your stories about Patrick make me think he will grow up to be my (weird and wonderful) boyfriend James. And James has parlayed his quirky nerdly genius into a career that allows him to buy things like Porsches with cash, so you have that to look forward to.

[manda]

Happy Origami day! :) I loved fortune tellers as a kid. Something was so fun about writing on those little flaps and moving them all around.

[Pam L]

Oh yeah, the sleeping husbands situation. We did it the same way you are , for the most part. My husbands schedule kept him working most of the time when my kids were little. We run a business, and unless you want no profit from paying others to do all the work, you work...alot. Even more so back then. There was no way I would wake HIM up to get the baby to bring to me to nursein the middle of the night. That made no sense to me. Why have both of us sleep deprived, especially when he had to make the money that allowed me to stay at home and take care of the kids??? You get through it, as you know it doesn't last forever, nor near long enough ultimately. I worked outside the home after 6 months with my first one and until the second one came along almost 7 years later, and believe me, it was MUCH better staying home with them after that. I would give up sleep to do it again, if I were 20 years younger.

[Heather]

Believe it or not, yesterday in school we were making leaping origami frogs, (For Leap Year Day obviously), and I was telling my fourth graders about an American scientist who is an origami expert. I couldn't remember his name. I found an article on him in the New Yorker and as I was reading it I thought of Patrick. And of how much he might like origami. Which tells quite a bit about how much I read your blog. =)
I don't really know how to link in a comment, so I don't know if it will work. But the man is Robert Lang, and here's a quote, Robert Lang says of origami, “It’s like math. It’s just out there waiting to be discovered.”
The article is called "Onward and Upward with the Arts: The Origami Lab". I know you don't have lots of free time, but thought you might find it interesting.
Sorry for the long post. =)

[JustLinda]

Oh, Julia... I haven't been by in a very long time and, well, THEY'RE HERE!!! Caroline and Edward. Oh my such beautiful babies, such beautiful names.

I started reading way back at failed attempt # who knows. I can't recall. But to see those pictures after following your story for a long time, just WOW.

Congratulations. (And WOW!)

[Dani]

Not that you asked for assvice but... well, you know....

I found that spreading out vaccinations over a period of 4 weeks or so helped avoid the fevers and crankiness. The only times my kids had any adverse reactions was when I allowed the doctor to give them two or more shots per visit. I guess giving their little bodies time to process all those alien substances in their system helps. Doing it this way, they were always still on track with the "schedule". It just required taking them in for vaccinations without a visit. They only needed to see the nurse, and I wasn't charged a co-payment (which means they didn't bill my insurance company either).

I will never be convinced that a fever is a "normal" reaction to anything.

Your children (wow! plural!!) are gorgeous and I click daily for updates.

[Cindy]

Well, I was going to write something witty about cootie catchers but then GAH! the beauty of your children blinded me and now I forgot. I, too, have that "newborn fog brain"...'cept my kids are 7 and 2! Oh! Cootie catchers - I'm impressed you could do one from memory because I recently had to download instructions from the internet and then make about 6 "practice" catchers before I got it right! :-)

[Caroline]

Positively adorable :)

[Laura in L.A.]

Julia, all your children are so beautiful that it takes my breath away. An embarrassment of riches! :):):)

[terri c]

Three beautiful, beautiful children!!! And Dreadward is most aptly named it seems... Happy Origami Day to you too. How long to you think it would take Patrick to make 1000 cranes?

[Danielle]

Lovely children! Although I don't share Patrick's fascination with all things numerical, I do hope that he cultivates that interest in origami. Just think how busy he would be making 1000 peace cranes! Perhaps every 29th of February can be celebrated with spontaneous acts of origami.

[Danielle]

Oh, I forgot! The best thing I ever did about vaccinations was to spread them out. After a 45 minute howling session with my usually sunny daughter after her 2 month shots, we've been making an extra trek in to the doctor's office about a week later. My limit really is three immunizations at once (totally unscientifically), and luckily the Dr and nurse are very supportive. The new Dr. Sears book on vaccinations does look interesting.