But Cubital Sounds Weird

Hi!

First, I am wandering around with my arm tucked against my body like Napoleon (Steve often accuses me of having a Napoleonic complex, actually, what with my being shorter than him and refusing to believe that Moscow cannot be conquered.) I am in pain. Details at REDBOOK. Link to side. And upon further review (in other words people who know what they are talking about commented/emailed) I have decided that it is not carpal tunnel but an ulnar impingement. Oh, and speaking of REDBOOK they are fairly sure they have fixed that niggling commenting problem so... keep it in mind. If you like.

But moving on. Or rather, moving backwards, thank you for the excellent suggestions about how to get two babies out of the house. As it so happens I already own a Kangaroo Kozy (is that right? now I have to look it up - no, Kangaroo Korner) sling and although I have used it around the house I had not thought to, you know, take it outside. Largely because it seemed a little dangerous. Do you want to know why? I'll tell you. Because I am a complete fool, that's why. The Kangaroo Korner fleece sling that I had received as a  thoughtful gift is ordinarily idiot proof, but I am no ordinary idiot.

Contemplate: the sling is a long piece of fabric folded lengthwise and secured at the ends to form a circle. To use the damned thing all you have to do is pull it over your head and pop the baby in. And yet every time I tried it with Caroline or Edward I had to use both hands to keep the child from sliding out on to the floor. Which sort of defeats the purpose of a sling, no?

I know what you are thinking. You trying to figure out how the baby would slide out of the contraption I have just described.

Yeah...

So imagine that you have taped an envelope to your abdomen, no doubt for the best of reasons. You then take five twenty dollars bills and, rather than put them into the envelope, you slide them between the envelope and your skin. Got it? So that when you start to walk the money falls out? THAT is what I was doing with the Kangaroo Korner adjustable pouch. S-M-R-T, huh? Somehow I failed to understand the directions or pick up on subtle cues like "kangaroo" and "pouch". I thought the tension of the fabric was supposed to... anyway, fortunately no babies were harmed during the creation of this blog post.   

But now that I understand how to make it work without endangering the children - yes! Thank you! Excellent idea. And for those times when I want something with wheels I just sucked it up and bought a new double stroller. The only one that works with Keyfit car seats is Kolcraft's Tandem Contour. It is kinda snazzy, actually. Rather than snap the infant seat on top of a stroller seat like your basic travel system everything pops off, leaving you with a base with wheels. You can do one infant seat and one normal stroller seat, two stroller, two infant, et cetera. I have not actually tried to use it yet so it is possible it does not work as advertised, but the idea is nice. I'll let you know if I like it, should you be in the market for such a thing yourself. Or you could let me know if you have it and the wheels came off or the baby went flying with the approach of a two degree incline - I still have another 26 days to return it.

Caroline and Edward seem to have taken me literally when I said I did not want them on the same schedule. I meant at night and then I only intended for them to stagger it long enough for me to feed one at a time. Unfortunately they completely misunderstood and have spent the past several days on opposite schedules while the sun shines. The good news is I always have a wide-awake baby on hand - and isn't that what I have spent the past umpteen years moaning about? The bad news is I always have a wide-awake baby on hand - and I am neither a martyr nor a masochist:  how can I miss you if you never go away? Right this second I have Caroline gazing at me adoringly from my lap (new babies are so good for the self-esteem) and Edward is sleeping. She, however, is starting to look heavy-eyed and Edward - as if by prearrangement - is making those little I-might-wake-up-soon noises from over yonder. No wonder I had fifteen loads of laundry to do yesterday; it piles up when you cannot use your one good arm because it is perpetually full of baby.

Speaking of yesterday, Edward rolled over from his stomach to his back for the first time. Steve Patrick and I stood around and applauded him, while Patrick cooed "Good JOB Edward. Nice rolling there, sweet baby." He then insisted that we look up when babies usually start to roll and when he saw that it said between two to three months he jumped on this fact: "WE rolled at two months; so this is early!"

"We" did, you see. His proprietary interest in the babies just slays me. He is so cute with them I could cry. We went out to dinner the other night (we have been dining out with shocking frequency lately - I figure we might as well do it while we still have babies that fall asleep in their car seats and stay asleep while we eat) and Caroline should have been fed before we left. Mistakes were made. So she screamed for the duration of the twenty minute drive. Screaming babies that I cannot do anything about make me want to slam my head in the glove compartment, but Patrick sat next to her and reassured her the entire time: "It's ok, Caroline. It's ok. Don't worry. Don't be afraid. We'll be there soon. It's ok  baby."  The fact that she never shut up did not discourage him, he just kept talking.

And because I think my children are adorable and I cannot stop sharing this fact; here is Patrick reading  to Edward. I had, uh, sort of ditched Edward in the hallway after bathing him while I started on Caroline. Patrick discovered Edward lying there and ran to get a book for him.

Caroline lighting up everything

And, finally, I love this picture of Edward. You know, when the shutter clicks just as a series of involuntary reflexes have converged to give an impression of great profundity

Oh and the Dr. Evil comments about the photo of Patrick on the last post made me laugh. That pinkie thing is a characteristic gesture of Patrick's - so I suppose it is just a matter of time before he makes a doomsday device out of Legos and rubberbands and threatens to hold the entire river valley hostage. Pity.

Comments

[tgsdmom]

Beautiful kids.
The frequent wake-ups of Edward's may be part of a growth sprout. It will be better... (And then worse and so forth)

[AmK]

You are KILLING MY UTERUS. Seriously, it's going to pop out right now and DEMAND an upgrade because that picture of Patrick and Edward? Just made me ovulate spotaneously it's so inordinately adorable.

Oh and by the way? Did the SAME EXACT THING with the slingie whosie whatsie whatever thingie deal and my niece. My brother just about killed me. Until he did it. And then we were all like, aaaaaah haaaah, put the baby IN THE SLING. Wonderful. Great plan. Got it.

[Lisa]

Can I comment here for your Redbook question about favorite children's books?

When I was little, I loved reading The Real Mother Goose nursery rhymes with my dad. Now, reading to my own daughter, I absolutely love the original A.A. Milne Winnie the Pooh stories featuring Eeyore, such as Eeyore Has a Birthday - man, is he bitter! I also love the Beatrix Potter stories like Two Bad Mice ("...then there was no end to the rage and disappointment of Tom Thumb and Hunca Munca.")

Don't know if the four year old catches it all, but they make me laugh out loud.

[JustLinda]

Goodness, if you are ever in my town and need a babysitter, I'm all yours!!! They are gorgeous.

I need to go take some Advil to quiet down my throbbing ovaries. (We're not on speaking terms right now. They are in disagreement with my brain who has told them "We're DONE!")

[Katie]

OK, the envelope-sling paragraphs are hilarious! I'm glad no children were harmed. :)

[e]

Your babies are beautiful and Patrick is lovely. Lucky woman! (although it sometimes may not seem that way at 2am)

[Sarah]

We have the Contours single stroller, and I love it. I loved that you take out the seat when you're using it with an infant seat, and now that our baby is almost a year, he sits in the regular seat. I LOVE that you can turn the seat around (not sure if you can do that with tandem?) to face either direction. Love the squishy handle, love it all. We take it for walks around the neighborhood, but we don't take it in the car with us since it is so big.
For that, we used the snap n go frame, and now an umbrella stroller.
Good luck!