Yo

Reports of my death were mostly exaggerated; although there have been a few moments in the past week when it was touch-and-go. The night after Steve's surgery I was up at:

1:30 when a drug-addled Steven hobbled off on his crutches to use the bathroom in the dark and I was convinced he was going to widow me via a toilet related head injury
2:30 when Edward was hungry
3:30 when Caroline was annoyed
4:30 when Edward was hungry again
5:30 when Caroline decided that she was hungry too
6:30 when Edward thought a little smack of something...
7:30 when Patrick burst upon the day like Dawn's Awakening

I was ridiculously tired the next day and everyone kept needing something simultaneously and my house plunged further and further into irretrievable chaos and... it was hard. Even though my mom and brother were here last weekend it was really hard. The children seemed to up their neediness to take advantage of all available resources and then some. Caroline and Edward, who are usually good for a few naps during the day, stopped sleeping and had to be carried in endless laps. Patrick, who can quietly entertain himself for DAYS during, say, March Madness, suddenly needed nonstop attention. I was convinced that the moment my family abandoned me I would flounder and drown in disorganization and miserable dependents. And then, I don't know why,it all got better. I am still tired and I am more than ready to have Steve back but I no longer feel completely panicky and overwhelmed.

Oh and since you asked it turns out Steve has (had) arthritis in his knee which they carved out (or something. I do not understand it) and then there was some other stuff that they took out and finally something else that they put back in. He has a lot of stitches. He also has this machine that bends his leg for him six hours a day. Despite this he keeps wobbling around trying to get his own tea and he actually made Patrick pancakes one morning. I keep telling him to just embrace his inner sloth but he seems incapable of doing so. Since bed rest was the highlight of my year I find this determination to get up and do stuff baffling (do you know what I would give right now to be forced to sit still for six hours a day?) but Patrick did appreciate the pancakes.

Caroline and Edward have settled back into a nightly routine that is bearable. Edward gets put down in his Moses Basket (smiling! awake!) at eight'ish and that's all we hear from Edward for the next four/five/six hours. He then wakes up twice to eat and slather me in adoration. Edward LOVES me - it's so gratifying. His eyesight (we assume) has improved by about a billion times (confirmation of this still pending another visit with the ophthalmologist in April) and he gives me the sweetest smiles now that he knows where I am. I just love Edward. He is such a calm happy baby and his hair is turning reddish. With the blue eyes and the ruddy cheeks he looks like every Irish-American bartender I have ever met. And I've never met a bartender I didn't like. 

Caroline is my sweetheart. She goes to bed at 10:45 and doesn't wake up until five/six/seven. This morning it was 7:30. I try to put her down when Edward goes to bed but it simply doesn't work. Fortunately she is perfectly content to stay in the living room with us and burble while we watch, say, college basketball or House Hunters International (hey! here's an idea! why not shop for a second home in Costa Rica despite the fact that you have never been there! crazy person) so her continued presence until the late hours is quite nice. That said, I will continue to try to put her down earlier and eventually it will take. You know, I am so thankful that Patrick was such a crappy sleeper. Not only I am pathetically grateful to only be woken up two or three times between eleven and seven but I know that even if I do absolutely nothing about their sleep habits all it will be fine in the long run.

Speaking of Patrick I owe a great debt to Ruth at Woolyheaded. She recommended the computer game Crazy Machines as something Patrick might like and it made all the difference this past week when spring break met surgery. Check it out if you have a Patrick of your own at home. Nice and challenging.

The boy goes back to school tomorrow and I have finally wrestled my house back into shape (I know I am a freak for needing an uncluttered house but I do) so I should have more time this week to fritter here.

Post-it for next time: breastfeeding, Patrick school stuff, birth control, um, something else... how funny, I forgot the fourth thing between typing the P and now. Christ I am tired.

Hope you are well.

Comments

[Sheila]

Happy Easter! I wish both you and Steve a better week to come - more rest for you, more well-behaved and well-slept children too. Really I can't imagine how you are caring for Patrick and the infant twins and a disabled husband all by yourself - yikes. Sounds like you are coping very well under fire, and still with a sense of humour!

[Helen]

I'm sure you had some moments when you felt like grabbing the curtains and shouting "As God is my witness, you'll never take me alive!" Luckily, it sounds like the dramatics of those moments saw you through, and you can look back on this rocky time period as "That Time When Mommy Learned To Drink Straight From The Bottle, With Her Bendy Straw".

[Newt]

Gosh, a bartender baby. That's just a little slice of heaven right there.

[SarcastiCarrie]

Birth Control??? I should think that a husband who needs your help going to the bathroom is birth control enough.

[Amber]

I love when I click here and there's a new post up! thank you! I dont know how you find the time, but I thank you!

[Alli]

My first NEVER slept either and I am so grateful for my newbie who sleeps five whole hours at night! I am also jealous of your compulsion for neatness. I am a slob. Hope the good news keeps coming.

[Mara]

Yay, an update! I'm glad that things are evening out again. I hate to admit how often I check over here, just in case you've posted something since the previous day.

I find your writing so inspirational, as I'm just sort of starting to realize that I'm infertile too. I liked you so much, I joined your club-- because that's not creepy at all!

(Though I initially just started reading because I thought you were a Harry Potter fan, like me.)

[winecat]

SO glad to hear you are still in one piece.

[Kirsten]

I had a March baby, and for me, every year of March Madness is a reminder of those bleary hours of breastfeeding in front of the TV. Good times.

[isn't it pretty to think so]

Hi, Don't know if I've posted here before, but wanted to let you know I feel your pain! My twins were 8 months, and then again 14 months when my husband had debilitating leg surgery where he was in agony and could barely get out of bed for weeks. Hope things get better soon!!

[Aurelia]

Birth Control---logically I know why you would do that, with three kids and all, but oh lord, what a discussion for this blog. Can't wait to hear it. :)

[katie]

wow...i have one and can't imagine doing all you do with three. you rock!

[moo]

aw, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate ... but that you are handling it all with your typical grace and humor.

I've found that most of parenting is "going with the flow." SO GLAD to hear that Edward can recognize you!

[Pam L]

Birth control- yeah, well, people thought we were nuts when my DH had his vasectomy before my second son was born, but we knew, no matter what, we would not be trying for another, no matter what happened. I was already 37 by then, and that was tough enough. I don't know how some women do it starting with their first/and/or last in their 40's. I was exhausted BEFORE the baby was born. So, yeah, the vasectomy was it for us, no muss, no fuss, no worries.

[carrie]

I'm so glad someone else thought it was wierd that someone would buy a second home in a country they had never visited.

Glad things are getting back to some sense of normalcy. Here's hoping you get all the sleep you want soon.

[Ruth]

My baby is gaga for me, and it's just lovely. Especially since her older brother and sister (14 and 12) have long since stopped lighting up whenever I come into the room.

So glad that Patrick liked the game. May it give you many more hours of (relative) peace.

[Sarah]

I missed you! I'm glad you survived.

[Sarah]

I missed you! I'm glad you survived.

I so hear you about sitting still for six hours! I was on bedrest for 5-weeks before DD #1 was born - she was a HORRIBLE sleeper and my fantasies for her first six months all revolved around bedrest and how great it was! Forget romatic dinners w/ my hubby or (insert hysterical cackle) sex. What I wanted was to recline on the sofa for a few weeks and have people bring me food.

[Pam L]

Sorry to be no help here, both my sons were fine in the car. In fact they were TOO fine, so that the 5 minutes they slept on the ride home from the bank would negate the next regular nap time. No matter how asleep they were as I carefully undid the harness ,lifted them out, cradled them carefully and silently into the house, they would pop wide awake when you lowered them gently into the crib or nearest safe flat surface and would be highly indignant that you tried to let them continue their lovely peaceful slumber. Highly indignant! This was especially true of the younger non-night-sleeping one from whom I suffered almost three years of sleep deprivation from being awakened several times a night for various reasons.

[Pam L]

Sorry to be no help here, both my sons were fine in the car. In fact they were TOO fine, so that the 5 minutes they slept on the ride home from the bank would negate the next regular nap time. No matter how asleep they were as I carefully undid the harness ,lifted them out, cradled them carefully and silently into the house, they would pop wide awake when you lowered them gently into the crib or nearest safe flat surface and would be highly indignant that you tried to let them continue their lovely peaceful slumber. Highly indignant! This was especially true of the younger non-night-sleeping one from whom I suffered almost three years of sleep deprivation from being awakened several times a night for various reasons.

[Pam L]

Sorry to be no help here, both my sons were fine in the car. In fact they were TOO fine, so that the 5 minutes they slept on the ride home from the bank would negate the next regular nap time. No matter how asleep they were as I carefully undid the harness ,lifted them out, cradled them carefully and silently into the house, they would pop wide awake when you lowered them gently into the crib or nearest safe flat surface and would be highly indignant that you tried to let them continue their lovely peaceful slumber. Highly indignant! This was especially true of the younger non-night-sleeping one from whom I suffered almost three years of sleep deprivation from being awakened several times a night for various reasons.

[Pam L]

Sorry to be no help here, both my sons were fine in the car. In fact they were TOO fine, so that the 5 minutes they slept on the ride home from the bank would negate the next regular nap time. No matter how asleep they were as I carefully undid the harness ,lifted them out, cradled them carefully and silently into the house, they would pop wide awake when you lowered them gently into the crib or nearest safe flat surface and would be highly indignant that you tried to let them continue their lovely peaceful slumber. Highly indignant! This was especially true of the younger non-night-sleeping one from whom I suffered almost three years of sleep deprivation from being awakened several times a night for various reasons.

[Pam L]

I also apologize for the multiple posts. I couldn't get out of the site for some reason and it reposted it each time I tried. Sorry!

[Shannon]

Re: the House Hunters International episode... was that guy a tool, or WHAT? I wish I had had the forsight to start counting the number of times he mentioned he was a home inspector.

[Aubrey]

I don't know if you've heard of Webkinz and hate it, or if Patrick would be to young for it, but he's so bright he might like it. At 23 I enjoy sneaking on my webkinz and playing a game or to between classes. If you don't know about it I'll let the website explain:
www.webkinz.com
They're really cute... and probably educational? Thanks for the post though, these always cheer me up!

[lily]

It does sound tough, I guess that's par for the course with twins! But mostly I am just so happy for you, have been reading your blog for years- ironically, before I realized I have a balanced translocation myself, and am just now entering the complicated world of dealing with that- after having a child with an unbalanced trcln. Your kids are all so beautiful, and I am really glad the breastfeeding is working out- you are supermom!

[Nicky]

My husband had knee surgery smack dab in the middle of our first cycle. He definitely embraced the recommended sloth lifestyle, including refusing to hobble to the bathroom without me, and needing me to get up to get him his medication every 4 hours. And he was told to use the bend-the-leg machine for 3 two-hour periods a day, and it had to be moved away from him between periods. I was tired and cranky and stressed from the meds to begin with, but carrying that machine around (not to mention the 80 million bags of ice needed to fuel his continuous cooling machine) are pretty much all I remember of that first (failed) cycle.

In hindsight, I'm grateful that he got the surgery out of the way before I (finally) got pregnant. But I can't imagine taking care of him like that while also handling 3 kids....

[Crystal]

You won't find my answer heartening.

John also slept only in the car.

Michael and Drew both hated the car.

They stopped. When I turned them forward facing somewhere around two years.

We stayed home a lot.

I did tether toys with quick release links to their car seats. Worked briefly, then they'd throw them overboard. Any chance round trip to drop off Patrick is 10 minutes?

Wishing Steve a speedy recovery. And, um, you two I'm sure.

[Genevieve]

Julia, a couple of possible things to try for the car rides:

car toys, suitable for rear-facing infants:
http://www.amazon.com/Infant-Car-Toy-Toe-Time/dp/B0010NWMNE/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1206541799&sr=1-2

CDs for the car (as long as it's something you can stand, because you may be playing it every time)

some toys they love, that now they only get when in the car?

[Genevieve]

A few ideas for the car:

something like this toy, snapped in to their car seats when you put them in the car?
http://www.amazon.com/Infant-Car-Toy-Toe-Time/dp/B0010NWMNE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1206542822&sr=1-1

or just something like one of these that you attach to their car seat when you put them in?
http://www.amazon.com/Infantino-150-3092-Tagalong-Trio/dp/B000TAFGSC/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1206542919&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.com/Tiny-Love-Musical-Take-Along-Arch/dp/B000765NA4/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1206542919&sr=1-5

CDs that you use only in the car (that you enjoy, so it's not all Barney all the time in the car rides)?

[cat, galloping]

If it's not too much trouble, perhaps you could pass along the message to Redbook that their site has been crashing my browsers all week-- Firefox, IE, Mac and PC. I suspect it's those insidious ads. It's a testament to how much I like you that I keep trying but I have my limits.

[CA]

I can't stand the Redbook site so I won't log in to comment over there, but I wanted to respond to your post "Unforgiven." I hope so, so, so much that you are able to cut yourself a break on this one...what you are doing over there is super-human. And I think you should take up your saintly friend on afternoons, too. You will get a chance to repay all that good karma someday... You are a great Mom, and I love all your stories.

[Laura]

This is about the REDBOOK post...

I take care of two children, 7 and 9, after school. They get out of school an hour early once a week. On one of these early dismissal days we stayed and played at the school playground. One of the 9yo's friends was playing with them and his poor mum, who had a 4 month old at the time, showed up an hour late, she had forgotten (for the third time) that it was the early dismissal day. He was safe and happy, but I felt so bad for her, she was totally shaken. I assured her that even though I didn't even know her son was waiting for her (there were lots of other parents there), I was watching out for him as much as for the kids I was officially responsible for. He was safe. And Patrick was totally safe, he didn't even get past the staff. This is a long and rambling delurking, so in sum: you are awesome and don't feel bad, it happens to everyone. Though do know he'll probably bug you about this when he gets older ;)

[JuliaKB]

Waaay late to this. Just wanted to say that in my and several of my friends' observations, kids do behave like gases in that they fill all available space, by which I mean attention. And then contract back when your cycles are reduced and your availability or ability to be gracious or conscious becomes limiting. We have only observed such things regarding ambulatory kids in possession of at least some linguistic faculties, but I am glad it worked out for you with the babies going back to the routine as well.

[ELLEN FOX]

the oatmeal buttermilk pancakes are great! i think i will add some fruit and nuts to it the next time. banana and walnut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ellen