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Patrick climbed into bed with me this morning, wriggling like a puppy, and asked, "How far is it from the Domestic Republic of Congo to Cameroon?"

It was a strange way to wake up and it took me a while to process. A better mother - one who is dedicated to nurturing intellectual curiosity no matter what the hour - would no doubt have grabbed her bedside atlas and flipped immediately to Africa. I just groaned and pulled the pillow against my head. Eventually I realized that I was not going to be allowed to fall back asleep (Patrick burrowing, offstage babies vociferating, ditto Steve's voice raised in song like a French Canadian woodsman) so I grudgingly got up. As I brushed my teeth I considered Patrick's geography question. It occurred to me that there was something not quite right about the phrasing and as I drank my tea I identified the problem: "Hey Patrick, it's the Democratic Republic of the Congo."

"What is?"

"It's not a Domestic Republic; it's a Democratic Republic."

Patrick looked up from the Lego dungeon he is building. "Mommy, that was an hour ago."

And, sure enough, it had taken me a full sixty minutes to frame that response. I am not a morning person.

++
Edward was doing very badly....

huh, I just received an email from a woman who asks me if I feel guilty when I do not post and tells me that it is rude to go so long without writing and mentions that I left you guys hanging for ten days re. Edward. She suggests that I should announce that I am no longer blogging if I can't pick up my game. Or something like that.

I had thought that I have been clear about my Divided Loyalties but apparently not; so to reiterate: the good people of REDBOOK pay me to co-write their Mom Moment blog, I update there at least twice a week, the link is on the sidebar, you certainly do not have to read anything over yonder but if you ever wonder what is up with me that is an excellent place to look, and you may always feel free to leave comments here or there or not .

I hope that covers it. And yes, actually, I do feel guilty when I don't post here but I feel guilty about a lot of things. Just this morning Edward was sitting up looking ridiculously sweet so I turned away to grab the camera and as I did so he reached for me and toppled over on his face. I felt guilty about that and as I described to Steve just how guilty I felt I failed to notice Caroline pulling herself up using my shirt and as I gesticulated to show how Edward toppled I knocked Caroline sideways. Oh the guilt. And then later I told Patrick to quit hassling the baby and he was hurt and said, "But I like her and she likes me!" and I looked at them smiling at each other and realized that the reason I had told him to stop playing with his sister was because her screams of pleasure were driving me batty. I apologized and I felt guilty.

Seriously, Caroline has a shriek that melts paint off the walls. It is painful when she is happy but the few times she has used it to express displeasure... my god I thought I was going to die. She starts about an octave above high C and then she just goes up and up and up until you cannot even hear her anymore but you know your ears are bleeding.

.... but back to Edward. Edward was doing very badly. The plan to thicken liquid for him so that he would stop breathing it into his lungs failed to meet with his approval and he opted to stall negotiations on the subject by launching a hunger strike. Or rather, a liquid strike since he was perfectly happy to eat Cheerios and those odd Gerber carrot cubes and bowls full of multigrain baby cereal the consistency of mortar. I got quite desperate and took him back to the speech pathologist and they gave me permission to backtrack with the thickened stuff and miraculously it seems to have worked. He abruptly started eating again on Thursday morning and now we are up to an almost-thick-enough consistency. I always wondered how people figure out the preferences of their nonverbal children ("Oh Leonard loves his WubbyDuck!" and you look at three week old Leonard and think, "Really?" but yeah he probably does love that duck.) Somehow you just piece things together and I know that when it comes to thickeners Edward is a 8-oz-to-6.5-TB-formula-plus-rice-cereal-in-BornFree-with-size-3-nipple-
during-the-day/Y-cut-nipple-at-night kind of a kid . He hated the various gel thickeners for some reason (bummer. AlexaFlotsam was kind enough to give me Simone's leftovers and then I bought some more while I was at the children's hospital... I have a ton of SimplyThick now and no use for it beyond a cheater's pudding - do you think I can donate it?)

I felt victorious when he started drinking again until I realized that all I accomplished during the past grueling week was to return him to the point where he was at prior to his appointments. Oh wait, that's not entirely true. We now know that he is aspirating and I can tell he does it after he eats as well as during. So we have him on prevacid and I am optimistic that the combination of dealing with his reflux and thickening (mostly) his bottles will have a positive effect on his lungs.

-- I am writing this over the course of two days (edited: three days, I guess because the last bit is from Tuesday and I started this on Sunday) because that's how I roll now. Steve has taken all three children to run errands while I pack for our trip tomorrow. Steve asked what I needed and from where. I told him - in excruciating detail. As per usual he said ok, got it, and then he calls me from every aisle of each store because obviously he was never going to remember my saying I need the stuff that Edward likes that is green and some of those little things we had that time we went wherever it was with Patrick.

Five minutes ago he called to tell me that Edward has just said "da da da da da". I could hear Patrick shouting excitedly about it in the background. This is Our First Starting Consonant (I am sure there is a name for this - is it fricative? because I would love to write that word: fricative. it just sounds good in my head) and we are all very excited.

I have said this a billion times, but I cannot get over how different Caroline and Edward are from each other. Edward has just started getting up on all fours and rocking, occasionally propelling himself forward; always face first. Caroline has started pulling herself up onto her knees. When she gets there she doesn't know what to do so she just sways back and forth until she falls over. Last night she found her feet and stood up briefly in the bath tub. She liked it. I aged another six years. Caroline can pick up Cheerios with a pincer grasp; Edward rakes 'em in. However, once the Cheerio gets into her mouth Caroline just pushes it around with her tongue whereas Edward rolls it around his mouth like vintage port before slowly masticating it. Edward babbles (now with consonants!) Caroline squeaks or shrieks. I found out yesterday that Todd has taught Edward the sign for "tickle" and Edward will excitedly sign until Todd  tickles his thighs. It is very cute.

We are leaving for the airport in (oh god) twenty five minutes and all five of us are still in our pajamas so I should go. Steve swears this will be a vacation for me so I theoretically will be back to write again sooner rather than later. We'll see.

Take care.

Comments

[hannah]

Actually, it's a voiced stop; voiced because you use the vocal cords to produce it. The voiceless version is a "t". A fricative is something like an "s", and other such sounds.

Good luck with everything.

[Pretty Jane]

**Sigh.** I, too, love the word "fricative." I'm afraid "d" is actually an alvelar voiced plosive, though. Will that suit??

Have a great trip!

[lizneust]

Good luck with Edward's progress and enjoy your vacation. BTW, who is Todd??

[jen]

You feel guilty about enough, it seems...do not feel guilty about not posting. It is your blog afterall. Of course we all miss your witty narratives but REDBOOK keeps us entertained. Speaking of which, I think the father should be reported. It seems like he doesn't understand the concept of being responsible for his children...it is what CPS is for.

Glad Edward is off his hunger strike. Have a great vacation.

[babelbabe]

yeah, who the heck is todd?

have a good vacation!

[Pam L]

Good grief. I can't believe a woman (was it?) wants to pile more guilt on another woman. What's up with that? Do we all not have enough already? I do, and I have no babies to worry over, just all the other crap that lingers in my head as I try to fall asleep and pops right up again before I am totally awake. Yikes, enough already. Bad form.

[lizpres]

My goodness! I delight in your writing -- I have a five-month old so you offer great "what may be coming" --- but how RUDE! someone was to offer complaints that you don't post enough! Perhaps you are so busy TAKING CARE OF EDWARD that you don't have time to update US on how Edward is doing! Sheesh! And you were so polite about it. Any update you give us unwashed masses is one that we are grateful for --- I'm amazed and impressed you do it as often as you do. Well. I guess that got my dander up. Sorry. But "can't pick up your game" INDEED. Rude, rude, rude.

[Jess]

Combine hannah and PrettyJane for the right answer -- [d] is a voiced alveolar stop. :) Fricatives are [s], [z], and so forth.

[lizpres]

My goodness! I delight in your writing -- I have a five-month old so you offer great "what may be coming" --- but how RUDE! someone was to offer complaints that you don't post enough! Perhaps you are so busy TAKING CARE OF EDWARD that you don't have time to update US on how Edward is doing! Sheesh! And you were so polite about it. Any update you give us unwashed masses is one that we are grateful for --- I'm amazed and impressed you do it as often as you do. Well. I guess that got my dander up. Sorry. But "can't pick up your game" INDEED. Rude, rude, rude.

[Danielle]

Oh dear god, don't feel guilty. It's always a pleasure to see a new post; I'm just happy you haven't signed off for good. I'm always amazed what folks feel entitled to.

I hope that you do enjoy a real vacation.

[Kirsten]

Wow. If That Woman wants you to post more regularly, she can pay you for it, like Redbook does. You're doing this for fun (presumably). You have a life. You don't owe us anything. Some people and their sense of entitlement.....

Personally, I'm just happy when I see that you have new posts, because it means you wrote something funny and I get to read it. Thank you for sharing with us.

[Kristin]

Oh please tell us who Todd is before you leave! Otherwise, you'll be made to feel guilty about that too!

[Shanna]

Yeah, who the heck is Todd? ;) Have a great vacation, if that is what you call traveling anywhere with 3 young ones. Good luck. Can't wait to hear those stories. Make sure you post while on your trip, so us Nosey Nora's can keep tabs on you. ;)

[Beth]

Please don't feel guilty for not writing here!

I'm so sorry Edward is having such a hard time.

Todd? *perplexed*

[mel]

I believe Todd is the handyman/babysitter Julia has referenced before. Pay attention people! ; )

[liz s]

Todd is the handyman/ babysitter (in case Julia doesn't clear that up before she leaves)

Seriously, I can't believe someone would say that you have an obligation to write. Maybe she has an obligation to get a life.

Your kids are great and so are you. I took liguistics once a long time ago and I agree about the fricative and the alveolar stop, but would really have to look it up.

Have fun!

[cursingmama]

Possibly a Blogging Without Obligation policy & button may make those who demand new posts less likely to clog your email. It's worth a shot & it helped me with the guilt.

[elfini (Dawn)]

First off, I have a bedside atlas, but please do not mistake me for a "better mother" because I would have just hit my son with it. (do I need to clarify that I am kidding about hitting the boy, who is 11)

Second, my daughter is 16 months now and also shrieks for joy - so I feel you pain. Her screaching is so high pitched I'm convinced all the dogs in the neighborhood have dropped dead.

[Andrea]

Seriously - DO NOT feel guilty! It is your blog and you can post when you want/have time to. I love reading your posts wherever and whenever you post them, but you have a busy life. I'm impressed you post as much as you do.

Have a great trip!

[lizpres]

Apparently I was so outraged I posted twice. Sorry.

[Alex]

Good heavens -- what a phenomenally rude woman (the emailer, obviously, not you). Um, yeah...if you don't post I either (a) assume it is because you are busy or have more interesting stuff to do or (b) worry that Edward (in this recent example) is not doing well. And I check Redbook, though not, I have to admit, as often as I check here because man, that is one annoying site (its graphics, not repeat not the content that you so graciously provide).

Glad Edward is doing better, and I hope you will have a lovely, refreshing, and relaxing trip.

[Esther]

Yes, I agree. We as mothers should know that we all have busy lives, especially in the summer, and NO ONE is obligated to post every day! Please. Go have a great vacation!

[winecat]

Please don't feel guilty, the woman needs to get a life. By not posting everyday you're only helping her to grow.

And Caroline - Opera Singer, Soprano

[Christine]

People are crazy. I will take your writing wherever and however I can get it. Enjoy your trip!

[Megan]

Dang! Finally - FINALLLY an opportunity to use that carefully garnered, nerd-o-licious information about full glottal stops and alveolar plosive stops and stuff and not only one but TWO people right from the off already knew it. I'm devastated and will have to console myself by murmuring comforting things about dental fricatives and bilabial nasals.

And guilt shmildt.

[Grandma Debbie]

Oh, my! I just snorted diet Coke out of my nose after reading your bit about Steve running errands and multiple phone calls re:said errands.
Last Saturday, my husband offered to make a Costco run. I made a short (six items), very detailed list, which included this description:
Kirkland brand dry cat food, purple bag, 25 pounds (um, we have 5 cats, so I buy cat food by the skid-load!)
I also drew him a map as to where he could find it.
And verbally told him where it was located (enter front door, walk all the way to back of store, turn left, keep going until you can't go any further, look down).

Simple, yes? Apparently not, as it involved 4 phone calls!

Have a great trip!

Deb

[clare]

Wow.. lots of phonetic geeks here! I'll just add that 'frictive' does have 2 in it - the /f/ and the /v/ sounds. Technically I think the raspberry sounds of babyhood are also frictives - well sort of.

I am always so impressed at how quickly mothers sort out the ratios for thickening. I reckon it must be a stressful sink or swim feeling, but sounds like you are well on your way.

As for the thick it, I suspect someone might want a donation - remember that its not just young ones who need it, many older adults use it after strokes and brain injuries. While a nursing home probably won't take it, the speech therapist there might know of someone back living with family who might.

[Liz]

Dude!! I totally just saw you guys checking in to your hotel! It was all I could do not to run up and announce myself as a fan and ask Caroline to make her squeee! noise. But you guys were bustling with the bellhop and I didn't want to weird you out. Holy cow is your family gorgeous! And Patrick is tall! I live in Florida- so it felt extra randomly weird to see someone I 'know' here. Enjoy your trip!

[Liz]

Dude!! I totally just saw you guys checking in to your hotel! It was all I could do not to run up and announce myself as a fan and ask Caroline to make her squeee! noise. But you guys were bustling with the bellhop and I didn't want to weird you out. Holy cow is your family gorgeous! And Patrick is tall! I live in Florida- so it felt extra randomly weird to see someone I 'know' here. Enjoy your trip!

[Becky]

Pick up your own game, lady! LOL. People kill me.

Have a good time and say no to guilt!

[Pam L]

I'm commenting here about the Redbook "Neighbors" entry. I would talk to the Dad if I saw this action again, kids wandering, at that age. They are all too young to be left alone and a 12 year old is not old enough to babysit this family considering the down syndrome as well as there being 3 of them. I would think he realized his mistake and that's why he was agitated. He is a weekend Dad so why does he need a solo bike ride when his time with his children is so limited, I wonder. Although, considering the amount of time some kids spend with their Dads, maybe it's way more than he used to , to be in charge of them all by himself for 48 hours or more. I would not call CPS unless it continues after talking to him or something of a more serious nature occurs.

[Katherine]

Why indeed is REDBOOK neighbor dad taking a bike ride alone on his weekend with the children - because he's a selfish ass! Unfortunately, selfish and immature people have children too - and they often end up divorced from their better halves - who held it all together despite their shortcomings. So, he's a selfish ass who's the father to those children and calls to CPS are unlikely to change that on this type of behavior alone - although they are likely to aggitate him, an aggitation he could well take out on those children. I think the neighborly thing to do is get him the support he needs to continue on with his selfish self. The numbers of several older and competent sitters and an offer to have the children over if he needs an hour for "me time" or errands - as a start. He'll need more into the future, no doubt.

[cooler*doula]

Wait... She has a handyman/babysitter? Holy shit. What an awesome combination of skills! I need one of those!!

Yes - demanding woman - feel free to put Julia on your payroll for more regular updates. What an internut.

Have a jolly vacay... I hope...

[Audrey]

Obligation to us? In YOUR blog? Seriously, as much as I may check avidly, I don't think you owe me a damned thing, and I venture to say most of the rest of us feel the same here. You're busy with the kids, life, and all else! They're absolutely adorable, by the way.... :) And yay for babbling with consonants!

Also, when I have children, I want Todd as my babysitter :)

[tgsdmom]

Internut... What a cool word :-D

[Aurelia]

Yes, I need a Todd as well. I hire them, then they never show up? You seem to have better luck then me for sure.

As for Edward, I'm glad he is okay, but as I said on Redbook, I'm betting he would have been fine anyway. Keep up the Prevacid, and think about upping the dose if need be, or switching meds, but like your ped said, if he's been fine for six months, I'm betting he'll be fine in the future.

Anyway, have a good vacation, and hey, if that really was you in florida, wouldn't that be funny? You're famous now!

[Stinky Horowitz]

Well, if I knew for sure that CPS would merely give this guy some pointers and a semi-stern chat, I'd say report him. But I don't know WHAT they'd do, so I guess I'd wait and see what happened. Hopefully he'll grow up. It sounds like a single case of thoughtlessness that could have become a disaster. In theory, your kids can go for an hour without your input, BUT he needs to think twice. What if he'd had an emergency while out on his bike? What if one of the kids had an accident? I'm a step-mother with no biological children of my own, so I know how long it took ME to come to this kind of thinking about small children. Therefore, I'm inclined to cut him some slack, but damn, his situation is entirely different. If he was this clueless for the entirety of a marriage plus procreation, I'd have divorced him too, out of sheer annoyance.

[Liz]

Aurelia- I'm from Florida, but I'm out of state right now. I wouldn't post where I saw them- too creepy even for me! But I couldn't resist sharing my goofy fangirl reaction. :)

[Julia]

Good heavens, now Steve and I are wondering which one you were in the lobby - as we played reconstruct the scene today I discovered that I noticed elderly couples and Steve saw a number of attractive women. Funny, that. We have lots of theories. We're poolside this afternoon, by the way, if you're still around; come say hello.

Oh and we're in Colorado, just so anyone else reading this doesn't feel completely irked by riddles and mysterious cloaks of mystery.

[Denise]

Hmmm, I'm going to guess that you're vacationing at the Democratic convention, because Patrick is a delegate? :)

I taught phonetics one semester long ago, but I've forgotten it all. Fricatives, plosives...good times.

[Pam L]

Hey, you're here?? In Colorful Colorado? I'm guessing you are in what, Winter Park, Beaver Creek, Steamboat? You seem, or at least Steve does, more like mountain folk, and what sane person would be staying in town this week, even if you COULD get a room??? Have you seen that traffic? Oy!

[Kristin]

Hope you are having a wonderful vacation!

[terri c]

You're *in Colorado*??????? Wow!!! I'm excited just to be IN THE SAME STATE. How's that? Have a great time and remember one sunburns more quickly at altitude...

[Catherine]

I am commenting here because I cannot comment on REDBOOK. Please PLease Please contact someone to help the man regarding leaving his 3 young kids home alone. Leaving kids that young alone is never acceptable. And considering the oldest is only 8, and is specail needs, something needs to be done, before this happens again. Imagine if the wrong man had stopped to help these little ones, they would all be gone right now.

[Flicka]

Wait, you owe us posts? When did that start?

This is extremely forward and crass but if you do not want that Simply Thick anymore, could I possible have some of it? I can pay you for it. My son has horrible reflux and screams all day and as I read your post I thought that maybe Simply Thick would work better than oatmeal for his bottles and the screaming (all. day. long.) would stop. If this wierd and just rude, feel free to ignore me.

[Sarah]

Julia, you're really gonna love me for this (not). Since I'm such a nerd, I looked up the different phonetic terms and definitions. Here's what I found and thusly borrowed here. "da da da da da" is voiced alveolar plosive. But you were close :-)

"Features of the voiced alveolar plosive:
-Its manner of articulation is plosive or stop, which means it is produced by obstructing airflow in the vocal tract.
-Its place of articulation is alveolar, which means it is articulated with either the tip or the blade of the tongue against the alveolar ridge, termed respectively apical and laminal.
-Its phonation type is voiced, which means the vocal cords are vibrating during the articulation.
-It is an oral consonant, which means air is allowed to escape through the mouth.
-It is a central consonant, which means it is produced by allowing the airstream to flow over the middle of the tongue, rather than the sides.
-The airstream mechanism is pulmonic egressive, which means it is articulated by pushing air out of the lungs and through the vocal tract, rather than from the glottis or the mouth."

I hope Edward is still doing better, and that your vacation actually turns out to be a vacation.

Best,
Sarah H.
www.tales-of-joy.com

[ulysses lorenzetti filho]

FALANDO SOBRE DEUS.

Que é DEUS?

A essência de DEUS, que está presente em todo o universo, ela é composta de três pontos básicos: A “inteligência” perfeita, geradora ou criadora de um conjunto de “energias”, que movimentam desde o átomo, até todos os corpos celestes no sistema solar, na mais perfeita harmonia e equilíbrio, e com a pureza do sentimento de “amor” nos dá a existência da vida.

[Deb]

I actually work for a free magazine from the American Heart Association, called Heart Insight. Since its free to anyone, I hope no one minds that I post the URL: www.heartinsight.com. There are recipes, inspiring stories, other healthy-heart info. Sign up to recieve it at home. -- Deb