You're Soaking In It

I threw the highchairs into the empty bathtub, stripped, and then climbed in after them. I clutched a sponge, a bottle of Palmolive and my beloved wooden floor scrubbing brush. As I started chipping away at the layers of dried sweet potato I tried to remember when I first dimly noticed that something is wrong with my right breast. August? September, maybe? I know I thought it was weird that I kept getting a plugged duct on that side, but I related it to the fact that my nursing relationship with Caroline had dwindled to a casual middle-of-the-night only thing. In October I switched bras in an effort to find something softer, something that would not chafe that nipple so much; since it has developed a permanent tender spot that I thought was being aggravated by what I wore.

It's like staring at the same place on the bookshelf that you have seen a million times before; only this time you suddenly remember who you lent your missing Wodehouse to three years earlier. One minute I was sitting there watching Netflix and scratching at my increasingly itchy nipple; the next I had ripped off my pajama top to investigate. It looks odd, I decided. The nice thing about breasts (one of the several nice things actually) is that they exist as their very own test and control groups. In one column I have Left Breast: no problem there; in the other I have... an increasingly misshapen purplish-red weird lumpy nipple thing. I gave the area a delicate squeeze and drew milk, discharge and some blood. Greeeeeeaaaaat, I thought, another blocked duct. But I wasn't sure. It had been like this last month and the month before and the month before that... maybe I should stop assuming I know what it is and go get it checked out. Maybe it is something awful. I went from being completely oblivious to rather anxious in the time it took Steve to walk to and from the garage for a beer. 

When I saw my OB/Gyn for my annual in July she had referred me for a routine mammogram, to be performed x months after I stopped breastfeeding and pumping (she said three; the radiologist said six.) I called the nurse line at the office today to tell them that I am having some breast issues and to ask if they would like me to come in; or should I schedule the mammogram early and then see them? The nurse called back immediately (have I mentioned a thousand times before that I have the best ob/gyn in the twin cities? email me if you are local and you ever want a recommendation for a new practice.) She asked me lots of questions and then put me on hold while she consulted with my doctor. A couple of minutes later they had me scheduled for a diagnostic mammogram (with ultrasound if indicated) for the day after Christmas and a follow-up with my OB on the 30th.

So tonight I put Caroline and Edward to bed and I got Patrick settled in his room and I pulled the spacesaver highchairs out of the kitchen and scrubbed every millimeter of them with lots and lots of soap and hot water. I cleaned the remaining crevices with a bamboo skewer, dried them off and tilted them both onto a towel on the floor. Then I poured myself a very large glass of very good wine. And I felt a better.

In no particular remaining order:

- I posted this at REDBOOK yesterday but I got the rest of the story today. Go read it and come back. I called it, um, oh something about burnt sienna. It's over there on the side. OK? So the deal is that they were doing paintings inspired by stained glass. They used some sort of thickened black paint to create the lead outlines and then they were supposed to fill in the spaces with color. Patrick used dark blues and greys and dark orange or something. The teacher felt that these colors did not provide sufficient contrast with the black outline and asked him to use brighter colors.

I say that this is a question of personal aesthetics. What's wrong with a sombre stained glass? Some of the best mausoleums have them, you know. However, Patrick - and I say this in the most loving possible way - does not exactly suffer from self-esteem issues. It'll take more than jewel-tone junkie to stifle his creative spark or his belief that he is quite the little artist. So... whatever. 

This is the same school, by the way, at which a different teacher told Patrick to rewrite his Hopes and Dreams. At the beginning of school every kid writes down their Hopes and Dreams for the year and Patrick's was considered too outre (it was something about wanting to invent a machine that would allow Sassy to become real.) He was asked to pick a new hope and dream. He wrote: My hope and dream is to learn much harder math. Zing! But also oh my god, pick a new hope and dream? Really?   

Oh and! (and then I promise I will leave the damned art projects alone) I noticed something odd about a different art project they had hanging nearby. It was a construction paper skyline (buildings with windows) against a black background with chalk fireworks spiralling above. They were very pretty, very nicely done, and every single one looked the same as the one next to it. Different colored paper, different colored chalk, different child artists but same layout, same firework shape... I'm just saying, is all.  

Auntie Mame would have been appalled.

- Every time I touch Caroline's head she immediately runs her hands through her hair to make sure I didn't sneak a barrette in there or something. I had hoped to let her hair grow long enough to put it into pigtails but she is going to be blinded by hair if I don't come up with something or cut those bangs. Even when I do outwit her and manage to wrestle some of it off her face... the kid has a lot of hair.

Should I just get it cut?

She is about to get her second front tooth and constantly pokes her tongue out. She has a very pointy tongue. She has gotten overwhelmingly babble-ish in the past two days, chattering away. When you hold a phone out and ask, "What do you say?" she grabs it and yells "HI! HI! HI!" I think it is adorable but I suspect that family members might stop taking my calls soon.  

- Edward is the most cuddly child that ever lived. He will throw himself into your arms and wriggle with pleasure, sighing and patting you. He makes what I call "little eyes" at me - scrunching his eyes up over and over again to make me laugh. He loves it when people are laughing. He looks at Caroline frequently for validation and to make sure that she gets the joke: did you see that, OtherEdward? Wasn't it funny? He always reaches for her hand when they are in their (now pristine) high chairs. He cries tears when Caroline takes a toy away from him. Caroline, in crabbier contrast, screams with rage when he - inevitably - takes it back. And keeps it. Usually though they exist in harmony.

 

They're delightful.

Forgive the stream of consciousness. I'm feeling scattered and I reek of Palmolive

Comments

[Beth]

You always write stream of consciousness. I like it.

I breastfed for ages and had all manner of odd breast things. Here's hoping yours is simple to resolve.

Conformity in art drives. me. mad. I won't get started.

What ever happened with the vasectomy decision?

[Melissia]

It is so scary isn't it when instead of being told by a doctor that everything is fine that they bring out the big guns? Of course that is why we love our best doctors, because they do not brush us off, even if a small part of us wants to be reassured that it is nothing, don't worry. You are in my thoughts.

[Amy]

I myself had a boob scare a couple of months ago. Got the mammo and everything ended up fine. I hope that yours ends up fine as well.

[Anna]

Oh how I hate that kindergarten art. But some parents cannot get enough of it - I have had many conversations as a teacher which involve me explaining that if everyone has to do the same thing...then it's not really art as such, is it? And no, please do not reposition your child's collage so that all the legs of the elephant are in the right place.

Sending Good Boob vibes.

[elizabeth]

I gave up and cut bangs. Actually, I cut bangs, realized I was going to have to keep cutting them, managed to keep barrettes in for a couple of weeks, went through what you're going through now, and went back to cutting bangs. But in the past couple of months, my daughter (2 in January) started loving barrettes and pgtils an hats. So there is hope.

[Nicky]

Ooh,I hope your boob is ok. Personally mine look like something frankenstein made from odds and ends. I wouldn't mind if they matched, but the right one is my favorite. My fiance prefers the bigger left one, of course. He calls it Gigantor.

On the hair front I vote for a little Audrey Hepburn crop.

Seriously, good luck on the boob front. Have lots of very good wine if that's what it takes to get you through to your appointment. I'll do my bit from over here too.

[Laurel W.]

Then I think the teacher who scolded Patrick about his art had no excuse and that there is absolutely no problem with what you said to him!

Sending you lots of happy well-boob thoughts.

[Kerri]

Oh my gosh, I can't even tell you how much I love looking at pics of your gorgeous babes. I have B/G twins who are just 16 months old, so I enjoy reading about the things that you go through that I just recently gone through myself. Often have the "ah ha, that approach may have worked better than mine did' moments. So, I have a question for you. I have gone back and read all of your Redbook posts to see what infertility issues you and your husband had to deal with, because we have some issues ourselves. Anyway, it will not let me view your very first post. And that's the one I was really after with the back story. Do you know of a way to access it? Or is it for British Eyes Only? Little Arrested Development humor there, that won't translate well at all if you've never seen it. Anyhoo, any suggestions?

[bethany actually]

My hope and dream is that your doctor will find nothing scary is going on with your right breast.

[Heather P.]

Julia I will add you to my prayers.

[T]

sending good thoughts your way

[Sarah]

I went with a fringe - is that what you call bangs over there in the US? It keeps it out of her eyes and still allows for some girlie length for ponytails and pigtails and such. Little kids look cute regardless of what you do with their hair I think, though for me it was necessity: although she's almost three I can GUARANTEE that if she found a clip in her hair she would eat it.

[Sarah]

PS - do you have WRITING on your windows?

[Chelsea]

Man are your kids adorable! At want to nibble on them ;-)

I haven't commented it awhile, but I read faithfully. (You are my favourite blogger by the way) I'm going to be praying for you. Even though it's probably nothing, it's rather stressful to have medical stuff hanging over you for the holidays.

I'm sure you have gathered this by now, but you are well loved and I really appreciate you sharing your gorgeous family and life with us online. Take Care.

Merry Christmas too!

[Felicity]

Good luck with your right breast, I hope that everything is fine with it. Ill send my prayers out to the Universe for you.

Look at Caroline's beautifully pointed toes! A Ballerina in the making. :)

Im taking my Twins, Edward and Cecilia, out of their old school and sending them to an independent, private school next year. Anyway, old school homogenizes the children way too much, they all have to conform, and do exactly the same as every other children in the school.. 550 of them! I hate it, education should be alot more individualized than that.

Patrick's art was probably the best there! The teacher just couldnt handle his individuality! It may have scared her. :)

Felicity.

[Lisa O]

If I had it to do over I'd hang in with the hair and not do bangs / fringe. As it is, we did bangs until 5.5 and they are now almost grown out. Granted it is easier to grow them out now that we have logic and reason and all, but she is cuter without ... I just always caved and trimmed when we tried to grow out before. You can try my method - it involves making a fountain-top and then pulling it through itself so she can't get ahold and remove the elastic. Visual aids here: http://lucky.typepad.com/weblog/2008/11/growing-out-bangs-fringe.html

[jenn]

Good luck with the mammogram. I'm about your age & have had a couple of diagnostic ones after finding lumpy weirdness. Both times turned out to be nothing, but I know how frightening the waiting to find out part can be.

We're lucky to have a true hippy art teacher in our public school, who is all about self-expression and individuality. The skyscraper pictures, especially, sound a bit ... stifling. Still, it's probably a pick-your-battles kind of thing. I have a friend who raises an enormous stink over every little thing she disagrees with at the school, and I have personally witnessed the eye-rolling that goes on when she marches her indignant self into the office.

Those babies! Scrumptious!

[Leslie]

Not fun to go through the waiting on any breast scare! I hope it turns out to be a nursing related duct thing and nothing more - wish you could get it sorted today! I've been through a few of those and it's not fun. Sorry you're going through it over the holidays too!

I'm an artist and I've seen my 3 kids bring home tons of art projects from when they were in elementary school which were all identical with what everyone else did. Seems to be a common thing with elementary art teachers. I don't love it - why should they all do EXACTLY the same thing? Truly misses the point in the name of teacher convenience. gah. It did get better when they got to middle and high school - better teachers with more openness to kids actually expressing themselves. I do think the business of telling Patrick to re-write his Hopes and Dreams is more disturbing. Sounds like he's got a bunch of very literal-minded teachers. Not uncommon with elementary teachers in my experience.

We ended up trimming both girls' bangs when they were little then went through the nuisance of growing them out later but I never had any luck with barettes and babies/toddlers.

[Pam L]

Regarding kid art and teachers. As much as it is my first instinct to pounce on a teacher who has wronged my child, after 22 years of this I have learned a) I hardly ever get the whole story from my kid the first time and 2) it USUALLY ends up that the teacher was being reasonable in his/her request. It's not that my kid was lying but things get misinterpreted, forgotten and sometimes swept under the rug by my boys. There were only 2 teachers, one for each of my boys, that I ended up head to head with over what I thought was bad teachering on their part. One was a real jerk and the other was WAY too hypersensitive and both were middle school teachers, that probably shouldn't have been teaching tweeners, and one shouldn't have been teaching at all. So, the best is yet to come and you have to take time to get the real scoop before you react. I have the utmost respect for 99.99% of teachers.

I also hope that your breast issue becomes a non-issue soon.

[Megan]

For dischargy, painful breatishy stuff I gots nuthin'. However, you just made my heart sing by putting Wodehouse AND Auntie Mame into one post! And can I just say here that for the movie adaptation only Rosalind Russell will do? You know you have well cultured children when they can walk up behind you and say, "I'm yer spuuuuuunge."

[mar]

Coming from a family chockful of educators, I will tell you that often some of the homogeneous results come from teaching them technique and process, not necessarily in pursuit of conformity. However - changing colors? Re-writing of your hopes and dreams? That sounds a little freaky and controlling to me! Might be one of those things you keep in your back pocket for future reference - just in case.

Good luck with the other thing too - I know that it will make for an uneasy Christmas, but at least now you've taken steps to deal with it - I know the boobs, they are made for nursing, but sometimes, with all the trouble they give us over it - well, sheesh, just makes you wonder what's the point? Will keep you in our thoughts - enjoy all of those babies this Christmas!

[Amy]

Oh poor thing. I sincerely hope you get good news from your mammogram, but in the mean time is there anything your OB/GYN recommended to help you? Have you tried a cotton nursing pad or lanolin to ease chafing?

Read your blog over at REDBOOK, and after reading the follow up here, I just can't see any reason that Patrick's teacher would call his art wrong. Art is subjective and if he likes more somber colors for his stained class, who is she to be the judge? My three-year-old is one of those who thinks art should involve ALL the colors of the rainbow, so his projects are always very, um, colorful.

[Amy]

Also, love the pictures. Your babies are so adorable. The ponytail is so cute, you should find a ponytail holder with a bone on it - very Pebbles Flinstone :)

[Yak]

My second daughter was born with a ton of hair and there was no way on God's green earth we were getting a barrette in there, so she's had bangs on the forehead (and short hair elsewhere) from toddlerhood. No muss, no fuss, stays clean and out of her eyes, etc. It's basically the Dutch Boy look, which works fine for young girls, but don't ask my brother, who had this cut imposed on him in the 1960s. Prince Valiant is NEVER a good look but I think you're OK with Edward.

As for the boob, I'm guessing it's some sort of infection given the pain and discharge (though I'm not a doctor nor do I play one on TV), so hopefully some antibiotics will clear it right up.

[marie]

I recommend the song "Flowers are Red", by Harry Chapin. Even if given only primary colors, I suspect Patrick is the kind of kid who would mix them to extend his palette.

[A]

Julia,

I see those little darlings with something white and can write on windows! What is it and where can I get one? Google is just not being helpful today.

[Barbara]

Edward and Caroline are the cutest babies ever! The photos you post always make me laugh.

I hope the breast problem is minor. It sounds a lot like what happened to my sister a couple of years ago. She was truly freaked by the reaction of her ob/gyn and the imaging studies she had to have, but in the end, it was just some weird infection thing.

I know the high chair scrubbing was probably therapeutic, but for future times when you have less anxiety to work off, here's how I clean high chairs. Put the chair in the shower and turn on the hot water full force. Wait ten minutes. Turn off the water. All the petrified food crud will be gone. Dry with paper towels if desired, or just let drip dry.

So much of elementary school seems to be about following directions. Poor Patrick is probably just doing his best to make what for him is a dull or simple task more challenging and thus interesting. I do think he should have been cut some slack on the hopes and dreams thing. What is wrong with wanting to invent a machine that would make your imaginary friend/pet real? Perhaps that teacher never read the Velveteen Rabbit?

[catherine illian]

wow-- now that I have the whole story of the stained glass thing-- that is rather appalling-- i would never tell a child their color choice was wrong-- that is a time for creativity!!!!

[Amanda]

I vote "No" on the cutting bangs proposition. Every parent of a little girl I know who cuts bangs either 1) regrets it because of all the trimming and maintenance required and difficulty in growing them back out eventually and/or b) cuts them WAY short in hopes of delaying the time between trims (which makes the little girl look ridiculous). I cringe when I see little girls with too short bangs (or old pictures of me with too short bangs!).

I'm local and would love an ob/gyn recommendation - my practice has changed quite a bit and I'm not sure I want to stay. Also, any recommendations on indoor play places - I'm terribly fearful that we won't survive the winter with my 2 year-old who loves to be outside (the last few bitter cold days have been hellacious). We need somewhere to let him run!

[Jan]

Good thoughts, vibes, etc. for the breast imaging. As others say, it's probably just an infection but awful to have to wait.
As an art teacher, I agree with others that teaching techniques, color theory, etc., can be misinterpreted. I am more concerned by a pattern based on what you report. You mentioned the Hopes and Dreams incident, and I recall the math teacher who criticized Patrick's "showing" of his work. Hard to draw line between teaching practical skills and conformity. In college, I taught (art) for a semester at a private school whose kindergarten teacher, while not Montessori, was very focused on the concrete and logical. The daughter of one of my Greek professors was in her class, and the teacher commented in the teacher's lounge on day that while this 5-year-old child had written and illustrated an original storybook, she had not selected the proper size rubber band to secure a rolled up poster. The teacher shook her head and said -- "an impractical dreamer like her father." Said child graduated from Harvard and is a journalist. (Not I'm offering either of those a measure of "success" in life, but she's clearly functioning just fine.)

[a]

My husband used to cut our daughter's hair all the time (with the help of his mother). After about 4 months of this (the kid always had long hair - from birth! - well, on top anyway), one of his sisters forbade him to cut her hair anymore. We've just gone with the pony tails ever since. She pulls them out (less frequently now that's she's 2), but not as frequently as she pulls out barrettes and clips. So, I vote for no cutting. Those babies are adorable.

Patrick's teacher sounds like a nut. Keep an eye on her.

Hope all is well with the boob, and whatever is causing trouble resolves itself.

[Erika]

Her hair is adorable. Don't touch it.

That's all.

[Jan]

p.s. omigod, steve really is a mountain man.
I can see a deer's head on the wall on the other side of the door.

[Jen]

Hi - I'm the mom with the ridiculously complicated homemade skin cream. I really hate to sound alarmist, but I recently recieved an email that talks about a type of breast cancer that is usually not detected by mammogram because there is no lump involved. It sounds like you probably just have an infection but you should ask for an ultrasound if the mammogram doesn't show anything and you still have problems. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you - boob weirdness is always so stressful.

[Priscilla]

You will be in my thoughts, with hopes that things turn out to be okay.

[elsimom]

Re: hair - because your in the TC, if you decide to go for the haircut, we love Kids Hair. They are wonderful with actually completing a haircut on a moving target. They have spread across the TC, so there may be one near you.
I am just utterly astonished that someone would be asked to rewrite their hopes and dreams. I mean, what is the point of that, really? On the art thing, I guess maybe there's some sort of "following instructions" thing - but even that seems very un-art-ish. It's not like they said "draw a stained glass window" and he drew a teddy bear.
My aunt runs a ceramics shop, and she has commented on parents who end up painting for themselves the project they brought their kid in to do, so that it is "right" - but I've never heard of an art teacher doing that. I mean, where is the nurturing of the creativity? On the other hand, all the really good artists are rejected by the establishment, right? Maybe it's a sign of his true talent. Okay -rant over, but I am seriously buggin' about this.

[Lisa]

I hope things end up being nothing in the breast area. That is a frightening thing, when all of a sudden things get a very serious feeling. My thoughts are with you on this. Hopefully you can put the worry out of your mind until you have (or not) something to worry about.

Patrick's teacher issue also reminds me of the "Flowers are Red" by Harry Chapin.

I think you are absolutely right to show that you didn't like what Patrick's teacher said. I would also follow it with a call to the teacher for more information. Teachers are human, and they aren't perfect, and some of them aren't even the best of teachers. They can make mistakes and say wrong things that shouldn't be said to kids.

My son was in Kindergarten when a teacher said to him and another child, "You two just don't get it!!" (In an exasperated, I can't teach you anything sort of tone.) Of course I asked him how she said it and (most importantly - HOW IT MADE HIM FEEL) and then called the teacher. And she was very nice and apologized. It shouldn't have been said like that. It had hurt his feelings and made him feel stupid.

The key is that Patrick felt the project wasn't good and that it was done wrong...Plus, his dreams??? That's just sad.

I can see this not even putting a dent in Patrick, but what about other kids in that classroom?

[silene]

Good luck with your boob thing.

FWIW, I had a mammogram last month and am still casually nursing the Kitten (she nurses when she wakes up in the morning and before bed, at 15 months). The Dr. had no problem giving me the mammogram - the reason they want you to wait is because breasts are more dense when you are nursing and the films can be harder to read - but if the twinks are not exclusively nursing anymore (such that you don't have engorgement issues anymore) you will have no problem with the mammogram.

One piece of assvice - if they find it tough to read your mammogram they may also give you a sonogram - DON'T PANIC if they ask you to stay for that, or for repeat films!! I have been asked to wait many times and the first time it happened I was in a cold sweat by the time they retrieved me for the sonogram - and there was nothing, they just wanted to get better information. End assvice.

Also, I agree with you about Patrick's school issues - "wrong"?! and "new hopes and dreams"?! It's enough to make a person suspicious of the curriculum goals - "by the end of the school year each student will have learned to create a brightly colored painting acceptable to the teacher and to dream/hope in a manner appropriate to their status."

It all enough to drive a person to drink... :-)

[Kristen]

I say it again and again, but my god, could you have more beautiful children?

Good luck with the mammogram. I hope all is well.

[Jen]

I just read the redbook post and don't want to join over there, but I had to make a comment about some of your comments. I don't think it is at all disrespectful to express anger to someone over something you think was wrong/inappropriate. I think it is actually detrimental to our children to teach them not to rock the boat. You were respectful in the way you handled it. You told Patrick you were upset by what the teacher said, you didn't call her names or march off to scream at her. I realize teachers get tired of angry parents that don't have the whole story yelling at them, but I totally disagree that you should hide your anger from your children. Even if you were wrong to be angry (maybe didn't have the whole story) you could explain to Patrick that you were mistaken and apologize - that's what adults do after all. Those comments seem to me to be a symptom of the whole "everyone fit in" mentality - not only must we all conform, we must not show strong emotion. That's not what I want my daughter to learn - maybe I'm too much of a hippie/non-conformist.

[Perfectly Disgraceful]

I'm going to vote again for no bangs, for a purely subjective aesthetic reason, I just like long bang-less hair on little girls. However, Caroline would look quite cute with bangs.

As for the art project, I can imagime circumstances in which it would be entirely appropriate to criticize color choice. Say the project was learning about primary colors? Color choice would be part of the directions to follow. The kindergarten at my kid's school just had a project in which "they used basic shapes to
draw and matched the color of objects
by mixing secondary colors, tints, and
shades from the primary colors." I do agree with your premise, though, that it is in general wrong to correct a child's color choice.

In a similar vein, I can also imagine circumstances in which the hopes and dreams rewrite would be understandable. If the point of the exercise was to revisit it at the end of the year to reflect on the course of the school year, then a good teacher might say, "Patrick, I love your idea for a time machine! Could you also write down a hope or dream for school this year, something about school work or friends?" In other words, it depends on the circumstances and the approach. But if it's squashing hopes and dreams, no thank you.

I also think it is perfectly fine to let a child know that it is more than okay to challenge an authority figure's ideas, as long as the challenge is done in a very polite way.

[Karen]

Julia,

1. Just to add my vote to the mix, Bangs here until age 4 when reason allowed the child to make her own request.

2. Art teacher is wrong, IMO, but probably you could have kept that opinion to yourself and just told Patrick how much you liked his work, and that you hope he liked it as well.

My oldest is so creative, but has no sit-stillness in her and so the art teacher doesn't seem to find her an interesting student. My younger daughter is all about getting it right and the art teacher loves her. I'm saddened that my older daughter doesn't get as much positive feedback from her art teacher, but her creative spirit is firmly intact.

3. yeast infection on your nipple. I had ongoing thrush well past weaning and it was killing me until one day it just struck me that what I needed was an antifungal cream. duh. Six months of itching for no reason!

I hope the mammo and breast diagnostics are fast and easy and good results.

[Nikki]

Obsessive cleaning is one of my favorite ways to deal with stress (though wine often factors in, as well). I'm sorry the worry about the breast will be looming over your holidays--I hope it turns out to be nothing more than a stubborn infection. (Which is a bizarre thing to wish for somebody, I realize.)
I'm voting no on bangs, mostly because I selfishly enjoy reading about Caroline vs. The No-Slippy Hair Clippy. We're going through that at my house, too. My little girl has developed a habit of patting her head absentmindedly throughout the day just to make sure I haven't put one in. (I guess she prefers the zillions of hair strands poking through her eyelashes and gouging her eyes?)
All three of your children are so beautiful. As a long-time reader (and infrequent commenter) I can't tell you how much joy it gives me to see you all so happy.

[Kirsten]

My child has always had lots of wavy hair, and when she was about Caroline's age, I would pretty much tie her up and forceably put a barrette in her hair - just to get the front parts out of her eyes and mouth. This was a struggle for a bit, but I *insisted* and soon she just let me do it. Then maybe 8-9 months later - she wouldn't let me do anything with it for a while (and it was much longer by then, and got into *everything*). Finally (around age 2?), I told her that if she wouldn't let me put it up in pigtails/ponytails/braids/whatever, that she had to let me *brush* it. That worked (for that age).

[katie]

I do artwork with my Rainbows (5-7yo girls) frequently and apart from some independent souls, they have a HUGE tendency to copy if given a model. For that reason, I try not to give them a model - but it doesn't take nagging from the teacher to say "ooh, make it more like mine" - they seem to have an urge to make their artwork conform when they have an example in front of them.

(I do wonder also if the teacher said "what a nice dream, do you have another one that you might actually be able to do?" rather than "pick a different dream, yours is WRONG!")

[Kathleen]

Julia, Please avert your eyes while I address Steve.

Steve, Please return whatever you have gotten Julia for Christmas and instead purchase a video camera. The descriptions are wonderful but, clearly, the videos would be wonderful. Thank you!
A Total Stanger

[Kathleen]

D*amn, that was supposed to say that the videos would be even more wonderful.

I've got to edit more carefully when telling people I've never met what gift to buy for their spouse.

[Jan]

Tee-hee, if only Patrick had said, "Are you familiar with color palette used by Louis Comfort Tiffany?"

[Aurelia]

Okay, so just too double check, you should get the breast scan, etc. But it is quit likely an infection, so I'm going to suggest that in the meantime, why don't you try some grapefruit seed extract, either pills by mouth or some drops dissolved in a bit of juice by mouth. (The drops taste hideous but work great.)

I thought it was pretty hokey but my pediatrician urged me to give a shot for my chronic yeast issues. And it worked! Breasts went back to normal, no more itching, redness or sore swollen ducts.

It can't hurt and it might clear it up before you get in.

Anyway, take care, and keep us up to date.

[Deb]

Delurking to say I adore your website, one, and two, to hopefully reassure you about the boobage. While I am long past the nursing stage (I'm 43--darling daughter is 24 but I had her young), I noticed the same dischargey/blood thing you mention. I also get regular mammograms. Nothing showed up. But discharge and a weird feeling in nip also continued. Ultrasound was done; it showed nothing. To make a long story less long and less potentially scary, it turned out I had not one but two kinds of infections--which as the cute oncologist my primary doc. insisted I see--was a very weird state indeed. In any case, I did have surgery--outpatient--to remove the milk ducts in that boob. And boobs and I have lived happily ever after. Oh, and fyi, neither of those infections are considered any kind of harbinger of doom. Take care. Your children are GORGEOUS.