William One and Me

I took Caroline and Edward to Target the other day. While it is nice for them to leave the house every now and again (my secret to Raising Twins Without [Maternal] Tears? stay in the living room. seriously) it meant that I had to get in and get out like Delta Force. In my haste it is not surprising that I made accidental purchases but it is particularly unfortunate that one of these missteps involved two dozen rolls of toilet paper labeled Ultra Mega. I guess I thought - if I thought about it at all, which I probably did not - that Ultra Mega referred to the size of the package when in fact Ultra describes the softness and Mega references the size of the roll, where "mega" is a euphemism for "a toilet paper roll the size of a fucking pumpkin."  The upshot is that I now have a billion of these gigantic rolls of toilet paper that do not fit into any holder in our house. Since one cannot throw away perfectly good personal cleansing tissue just because there is too much of it; a new roll has to perch on the back of the toilet until the circumference has dwindled sufficiently to be stuffed into the wall. It is driving me, ever so slowly, insane. I feel like I am living in a goddamned frat house when I walk into a bathroom and see the roll just sitting there. Are we barbarians? What's next? A kegerator?

In other news we paid our 2008 taxes today and I am pretty sure that I now have more money in my purse than we do in our bank accounts. OH MY GOD. Curse you... realized social system of production exchange distribution and consumption of goods and services.

I look back over the past couple years and I could kick myself for all of the money we spent on things like, oh I don't know, Legos and completely unnecessary but pretty kitchen remodels and rugs and extra shoes. It seemed so reasonable to assume that a lifestyle built upon a healthy combination of investment income and business earnings would be able to withstand the normal vagaries of economic shift but now I want to reach back a couple of years and shake myself until my teeth rattle for not putting everything we had into paying off our mortgage while turning our property into a self-sustaining, wool-producing, solar-powered farm. Well, farmette, I guess. Mini farm. Hobby farm. Holly Hobbie farm. But still. I feel like Gatsby would have in 1930 (if he had, well... I don't want to ruin it for you) - wondering if back in '22 it had been necessary to feed quite so many people quite so many shrimp. Do you know what I mean? Like I wish I had recognized the black cloud on the horizon for the plague of locusts it was because I would have stopped spending money and started cramming it into shoeboxes. Back when we had shoeboxes, what with all the extra shoes. The fact that we have sufficient toilet paper to see us through this, the country's most recent darkest half hour, is of but small consolation. 

I do take comfort in the fact that practically everyone in the world is struggling or worried that they may shortly be struggling; although when you think about it, that fact makes me kind of a bitch doesn't it? For what it's worth my mother, our nonresident bellwether, has recently started saying that things are improving and - unless she is just trying to cheer me up - I have no reason to disbelieve her. She knows things. So how are you doing on this domesday? Better than last year? Worse? The same?

On the plus side of the 15 April 2009 column Caroline slept all night, thirteen hours, and Edward just woke up once for a shish kebab around midnight. When you add their seven pm to eight-thirty am nighttimes to their three hour naps you get sixteen hours of solid babyfree time. I have finally attained my dream of an eight hour work day - and they said motherhood couldn't be unionized.

Speaking of things that are vaguely, well, whatever a woman left a comment on the Edward tossing post that asked, oh hold on, I'll quote it: "Just a quick question, and I've got my asbestos suit on: Is there a reason why you stand around taking pictures, instead of preventing one of your children from potentially injuring the other?" I read this to my mother who burst out laughing and said, "Because you take pleasure in the suffering of the innocent obviously. Next question?"

There really is no answer to this since it is less a question than a statement of assumed facts: 1. that I stood there 2. that there was actual potential for injury and 3. that I could have prevented it. One of the joys of my Christmas camera (you'll note that I did not include the camera in my list of lamented purchases) is that it takes a billion photos a second. I never know what I have until I upload the pictures and start to sift through them. When Caroline and Edward and Patrick were playing on the window seat I was all, snap snap snap snap, and they were up and down and over and rolling around. I didn't realize that she had thrown him over the edge until I looked at the pictures I had taken. Then I laughed for about five minutes - Caroline's mighty squat thrust, Edward shooting backwards like he had been launched from a cannon, Patrick with the damned bowl on his face... hilarious. We had made the space as safe as we could and as far as I am concerned they can play with it as they like. I cannot imagine racing over to keep Caroline from knocking Edward backwards any more than I can imagine making Edward give Caroline back whatever it was she was playing with before she started howling in protest for the millionth time. Or vice versa. Do I look like The Hague? They'll work it out, says I.

But I was intrigued by the notion that the image of Edward with his feet in the air bothered someone enough to prompt their first ever comment and an aggressive passive one at that (blog comments can be categorized thusly: aggressive aggressive, aggressive passive, passive aggressive and passive passive - and then the rest of you are normal.) I am always willing to consider the possibility that I am out of step with mainstream thinking on a topic. Believe it or not, while I reserve the right to defend myself, I quite like the comments that make me stop and think about my own actions or assumptions. Is that window seat hazardous? Should I have dropped my camera and made the children stop shoving each other? Is it possible that I am just a garden-variety sexist and the fact that the little girl was going old school WWF on her brother made me think it was cute rather than dangerous? I don't think so, but I guess I'm willing to consider it. If you were their parent (you lucky dog) would you have tried to stop 20 lb Caroline from pushing 24 lb Edward off a 15 inch high bench onto an 8 inch thick cushion? (show your work)  

Edward's molars are finally in situ and he has been a laugh riot ever since. Eating better, sleeping better, wearing bowls as hats... I take back everything I said about his antisocial tendencies.

Caroline on the other hand... jeesh.

I state now for the record: the process whereby baby humans acquire teeth is seriously flawed and as far as I am concerned both evolution and intelligent design owe me a written apology.

PS Go on. Ask me why I sat there taking a picture of Caroline's meltdown rather than smothering her with kisses.

PPPS To recap our questions from today: do oversized toilet paper rolls drive you crazy? do you wish you had been burying gold in your backyard since 1999 and/or do you feel poorer than last year? do you think Edward should have been given a bodyguard? do I look like The Hague? don't you hate teeth? isn't Caroline cute when she's distressed?

I think that covers it.

Comments

[TeacherMommy]

In response to your last questions: yes, yes, no, no, yes, yes

I'm willing to bet the asbestos-suited questioner either (a) doesn't have kids close in age, or (2) is raising very overprotected kids who will never learn how to work things out for themselves in life.

So is it better that Edward and Caroline are trading off on sunshiny happiness vs. stormy despair, or would you rather they suffer the vicissitudes of toddlerhood in concert?

[Elaine]

I watch the stock market every day for a living (and no, I'm only a poor journalist) and yes, unless one of the banks has something really nasty hiding in its quarterly earnings or something completely unexpected happens, we ARE over the worst.

Nothing to say about anything else except, siblings will always fight, sometimes physically. It's part of the game.

[kathleen999]

I bought that TP once and swore never again, for exactly the reasons you state.

Just wait until they get older and start REALLY swatting each other. It gets worse and there is nothing to be done about it except give time outs. Oh, and those teeth. The better to bite you with, my twinny!

We were poor before. I lost my job in April 2007 and have been freelancing ever since and making almost nothing. My husband is working about 5 hours a day. I think our taxes will be low this year. We filed an extension so I don't know the pain of it yet. Hoping for a low balance, but we will have to pay over time if we owe anything. So no, this isn't the worst year. I did have the joy of watching the company that let me go dwindle in size from about 60 people to about 15. I was luckier to get out earlier and have more time to get established. Blessings in disguise.

I think your mom is right. If I had any money, I would buy stocks in green industries.

[Pam L]

1) I do not buy the ginormous toilet paper rolls , but I hear there is some extension contraption they sold/sell? for them right there in the paper isle

2)Yes, yes, gold AND diamonds (just because)
We are the idiots that replaced all the windows AND added insulated siding in 2008 and added a hefty amount to our mortgage to do it. I wish I could go back in time on that one even though they turned out great and are much more energy efficient.

3) Oh jeez. The fact that only one person didn't think that was funny speaks volumes.

4)No, the Hague, although nice, is much larger, and less cute.

5) As I stated before neither of my boys got all their teeth in one week like it seems yours did, but yes, there should be a better plan.

6) I have not seen a picture when she is NOT cute, but I am sure you will hear one answer that says you were inhumane to take that picture-ignore that one.

Here's hoping your Mom is right.

[nicol]

hillarious.

[Arbutus]

1.) Love mega rolls, sitting on the back of the toilet, window sill, edge of sink, I live alone doesn't bother me.
2.) That is how kids learn, natural consequences within reasonable limits.
3.) The economy..I sort of saw it coming, you get to be my age (57) and you see the cycles. I am a total Dave Ramseyite and although I was unemployed for 3 months from Nov to Feb, I had my emergency fund and I am fine. You see, people fail to plan, they spend, spend, spend because they THINK they have the money and all will be well. This country is learning a lesson, hard lesson, but those are usually the ones that stick. You find out you don't NEED a lot of things when you wake up and realize this is your future that you need to plan for. Shutting up now, no more rotten tomatoes please (I just compost them though!)

[Kelly]

I figured out that, with my two boys (4 and 2) it's best to mostly leave them to their squabbles unless someone's genuinely crying (not whiny/fake crying). Most of the time, what they think is hilarious I think is possibly dangerous but I've learned to back off and just let them be. They aren't allowed to play near/on the stairs or (supposedly) throw toys or (supposedly) push/shove/intentionally harm each other. I can't do more than that other than bite my lip and hope they don't break anything.

Then again, that's the only way you learn as a child sometimes.

[Elizabeth_K]

Oversized paper rolls are created just to make happy people sad. I was thinking of all the things I wouldn't have purchased, if I had a crystal ball, over the past two years on the bus in this a.m. It included oversized TP. I feel potentially poorer than last year because we are pregnant with baby #2 (yay) but worried because more daycare + less stable incomes = fear. Edward was clearly enjoying his take down, which may be in a post all by itself, and sheesh, he landed on a cushion! And babies fall, even under the closest supervision. You could be the Hague, a cuter version of course, teeth are the bane of life (after oversized TP) and Caroline is always cute. I hope this post was just passively passive, that was its intention.

[Karen]

My husband is in charge of buying the toilet paper around these parts. So far I have yet to see a Mega Ultra Roll of Doom in our bathrooms.

My oldest got his first two teeth at 3 3/4 months. At the same time. After that, he teethed in pairs--the teeth came in two by two, hurrah, hurrah, every month until he was a year old, by which time he had his two year old molars. Oddly enough, he has had the most dental work of all the kids.

When my secondborn was 7 months, we went to the pediatrician and when they asked if I had any concerns, I said, "Well, he hasn't gotten any teeth yet, and I'm kinda worried." They looked at me as if i had two heads and patiently explained that 8 months was the average age for babies to start (start!) teething. Oh.

[Brainy girl]

Yes, love, love, LOVE your blog! Seriously. Let's see, questions: TP, I never get the huge rolls. Money - it isn't pretty but we'll survive. Edward - hell, no, kids are kids - they toss each other around. The area was safe. It's a total no-brainer to me. The Hague? Well, maybe philosophically there is a resemblance, but you are way cuter. Teeth - man, I just discovered that my 14 month old has FOUR MOLARS, despite having only 2 other teeth, and despite us having NO CLUE that she was even teething. Evidently never phased her in the least. My other kid was the same. Finally, Caroline - I have rarely seen a more beautiful child, whose personality shines through all her photos. I think pics of kids crying (and videos of same) are totally awesome - they're a lot more representative of real life in many ways, and they are just damn cute - not if they're actually INJURED (shouldn't this be obvious??), but if they're just complaining about life in general, eh...

[Anna]

Allowing Edward to be bumped off the window seat by Caroline merely prepares him for the unfortunate and ever-present vagaries of human experience. Except that in the board room, there are no comfy cushions to pad the fall.

And, for the teething issues - gin soaked frozen washcloths that the child can gum, thereby numbing the area works wonders.

I kid! I kid!

[Alli]

Is yes appropriate to all of those questions? Congrats on the sleeping!

[Amy]

Yes, the oversized toilet paper rolls are obnoxious, but they make extenders that allow you to place the toilet paper on the roll. Target or WalMart should carry them.

I definitely feel poorer than last year. Taxes really sucked this year. I felt like they took an arm and a leg this year. Not to mention the hit my 401k has been taking. I heard a rumor about tax relief, but I haven's seen it.

Definitely think Edward should have a bodyguard. Do you think Caroline would like the job?

Nope, the Hague you are not.

I despise teeth. Especially teeth that take FOREVER to come in. Nick is 13 months old and has 4 teeth. They were torturous and yet, I have so many more to weather.

Caroline always looks cute. I love the pigtails. I think distressed pictures are amusing. My poor babies - I have numerous pictures of them looking cute (and tortured) in their infant carriers.

I think that covers everything :)

[June]

weird, the first half of my comment was deleted. just in case it wasn't on purpose... what is davidson's? is it some school for children nearly as brilliant and eccentric as patrick, like waldorf but more academically rigorous and harder to google?

[Chris]

Alexis beat me to it! Get that free extender, STAT! Best thing I ever did. :)

[marta]

do oversized toilet paper rolls drive you crazy: don't know about oversized toilet paper rolls, but i'm now feeling self-conscious about the fact that our tp holder hasn't worked in years, and all we ever have is tp rolls on the back of the toilet, and what DO people think? oh dear!

do you wish you had been burying gold in your backyard since 1999 and/or do you feel poorer than last year: I have always had a pathological aversion to debt, so we have been completely debt-free for years, not even a mortgage. My parents also always taught me that if you have a little patch of land, you can support yourself, so we bought a vacant lot, and have a garden. My partner is a tenured public school teacher, a pretty recession-proof job. So we're doing okay and feeling very blessed.

do you think Edward should have been given a bodyguard? NO!

do I look like The Hague? NO!

don't you hate teeth? YES!

isn't Caroline cute when she's distressed? oh my, yes!

[Helen]

We use toilet paper for all sorts of stuff outside the bathroom - nose blowing, actually mostly for stuff involving the nose. We don't have any regular tissue, so that super soft pumpkin stuff you have might be mighty handy as a substitute. Just a thought. As for you taking hilarious pictures of your kids in action, they're great. Edward was obviously well protected by those super fluffy cushions on the floor. They look more comfortable than my bed. It's good to let kids do their things once in a while. I have to admit I am a very protective mom, and my husband and darn in-laws won't get off my case and annoy me to hell about it, but hey, you're the mom. Your kids are brilliant, healthy, and you make the rules. You are doing nothing wrong. They're lives are not in danger. No siree, or mamee? Anyway, I love continuing to read your adventures. Congratulations on getting some good sleep lately too. Yes, Caroline is cute when distressed. I have a picture of my son crying his eyes out because he didn't like his pumpkin Halloween costume, and those pictures are worth it. I think the recession is making everyone going crazy. And yes, I wish I had gold to bury in the first place years ago.

[Jen]

I take pictures of the baby's downfall as well. I only have one, but I let her fall over (onto cushioned surfaces) and photograph it instead of catching her. How else will she ever learn about gravity?

I've been buying the same cheap toilet paper for years and it always fits. But yes, it would drive me crazy. I kind of have a memory of one brand that would almost fit on to the holder, but stick in there really tight, so that you could only pull off one square at a time. Ooh, that was annoying.

Matt and I are lucky. We are still in the beginning stages of jobs and money making (married/jobs/grown-ups six years ago), so we are still in the promotions/salary increase phase. Therefore, we are actually doing quite well (comparably to before) in this bad economy and actually building up some savings that we didn't have before.

[KellyH]

Whoever made that comment either has no children or only has one child. You said yourself that you made the situation as safe as it could be. Kids shove each other, hit each other, bite, smack, pull hair, all that crap. You know, all the things adults would do to each other if we hadn't developed impulse control. If you try to stop every incident, not only will they be wimps who have no idea how to defend themselves, you'll never get anything else done.

On second thought, maybe that commenter just has wimpy kids.

We're actually doing better this year than last. This past Christmas was better for the kids than those of the past (as evidenced by my 6 year old looking at her loot and saying, "We got more this year!"). The reason for this is my husband and I have a side business that has been doing very well since the current president was elected. In fact, because he was elected, this particular industry has had quite the explosion in growth. Bet you can guess what it is. That, coupled with the facts that my husband has a relatively well-paying job, and we live in an area of the country that has a decent cost of living- we're doing pretty well compared to most others.

[Jigsaw]

We bought Charmin mega rolls and your post reminded me to go to their website to sign up for a free extender for the toilet paper rack. The extender is supposed to provide the extra room so that the mega rolld can fit on "most standard holders." The offer was on the package.
I don't know what brand you bought, but check the package and see if it has a similar offer.
On the question of the twins' rough play: I say that once you've babyproofed the place, let them play! We can't wrap kids in cottonballs. It's not like you're standing by snapping pics while they juggle butcher's knives.

[Christina]

I MUST know what kind of camera you have!! Mine takes 10 seconds to snap one shot, so all I ever get is turned heads. Please, please, please tell us what kind of camera you have!

[babelbabe]

oh sweet Jesus above, I have 4 boys and if I spent time keeping them from killing each other, it's all I'd do and we'd have noting to eat, no clean clothes to wear, and the place would be so filthy someone would call CYS anyway. Of course, I also have pics taken of the baby learning to climb down steps. Whoops.

And at the risk of sounding like a total freak, Caroline is cute no matter what - even having a meltdown. Your other kids are adorable, too, but C has a special place in my heart. Maybe it's because I have no girls, and she amuses me no end. Or it might just be her spunky eyebrows....

[Jigsaw]

I just consulted google and got the link for the US form on Charmin's site. They don't ask for proof of purchase, so it doesn't matter if your brand is different:
http://www.charmin.com/en_us/pages/extender_request.shtml
Hope this helps

[Lurker]

GJM, I'm sure I've got this wrong, but the goat was sitting in the chair, or the baby was sitting in the chair? Because if it was a goat sitting in a chair, I'm pretty sure you should have taken a photo of THAT instead of the baby!!

Julia, you made my DAY with this post. My response to the ass hat that made the comment would be to ask if SHE felt bad for not calling the police on you for neglecting your children, like another semi-famous blogger did. That would teach her. As for money, I currently have none so I can't really comment. I do feel poorer than last year, and as a single 20-something (okay fine, I just turned 30) woman with a dog, I don't have any additional income to help. Plus, I live in the People's Republic of DC, so it's expensive as all hell to live here. Ah well, at least I have your blog and the antics of your beautiful children to keep me company!

[Laura]

I had four kids in four years. My motto is... No blood, no foul.

[leigh]

I am a long time lurker feeling the need to check in and say: you are my favorite blogger. I don't even have young kids (one 15 year old boy), but I love reading your blog.

[Lisa]

I seriously laughed out loud twice at this post. I am with you on letting the kids play without intervening, knowing they can't get seriously hurt. (But seriously -- toddlers get hurt. They're learning how to do just about everything, they fall a lot. That's just the way it is.)

We are doing well actually. I'm 30 and a writer and spent about seven years completely broke, then about four years only a little bit broke, and then last year I got a raise so I finally feel like a normal human being. We live in Los Angeles in a tiny apartment and have no investments to speak of (I actually started an IRA a year ago January -- HAHAHA) so overall I'd say we're doing better than we've ever done! Which is to say we can pay our rent comfortably, we have a new economy car, and money to pay our bills, and enough have a little fun on the side. We don't have money to buy a house or have children, per se, but who needs those things? ;)

I'm also getting married in three months so if I feel poor, I feel wedding-poor since every last penny is going towards the wedding.

[andrea]

To recap our questions from today: do oversized toilet paper rolls drive you crazy?
Yes, that would drive me crazy, and I am sure my 4 yr old would stop up the toilets with that stuff. Luckily, I am too cheap and only buy the 1000 sheet roll kind or the bales of recycled stuff from Costco. Now if I could just train them to replace empty rolls.

do you wish you had been burying gold in your backyard since 1999 and/or do you feel poorer than last year?
I relate to the "why was it SO essential to buy all that stuff?" issue. In addition to many many Legos, I bought a car last summer just before every market started to slide. Sure, I needed a car, and yes, technically we were able to afford it, but I might have gone for a cheaper one had I been in possession of a crystal ball. Or maybe I should have just liquidated the stocks and bought out the Lego store with the proceeds; better than having the "money" disappear like it did. Answer: yes, we feel much less well off this year, even with a similar income.

do you think Edward should have been given a bodyguard? Stuff happens when you have siblings and you wouldn't have made it over there in time anyway. At my house, there would have been no floor cushion.

do I look like The Hague? don't you hate teeth? I could never tell when my kids were teething and when they were just regular grumpy. I am glad it's over, however.

isn't Caroline cute when she's distressed? Yes, Completely, but this shot is not quite as adorable as the photo I took of my toddler daughter screaming in rage at me from her highchair. I had to preserve the moment for posterity, after all my efforts to cheer her up failed.

[Libby]

Yes, they should be illegal.

Yes

No

Certainly not!

Yes

And OMG yes! Cute, cute, cute!

[Kaethe]

I have no TP issues
I do wish I had been burying gold in your backyard since 1999 because that would have meant less dire financial straits than we had. As it is, we are not any worse off this year, but we don't have any investments or retirement or anything.
Edward does not need a body guard. Padding the floor is more than sufficient.
I would never mistake you for The Hague. The only thing I hate more than teeth is the sudden loss thereof.
Caroline is cute, full stop. As is Edward. We all have adorable distressed toddler pictures, don't we?

[Barbara]

To add to the general consensus - yes, yes and/or yes, no, no, yes and yes - I think. I hope I counted the questions correctly otherwise I may just have really offended you turning me from passive passive to aggressive aggressive! If I can stop my two from leaving marks on each other (or me for that matter) I count it a successful day, never mind a bit of gentle argy bargy.

[tree town gal]

good god, i love this place.

anyway... some of your questions - delightful. heavens yes, i hate most bulky things... makes me nuts this supersized culture. but then again, my house is small, artsy & craftsy, turn-of-the-20th-century-ish where closets were simply not in the floor plan. bulk won't do here.

poorer? hmm... i'm a research scientist who depends on grants (more often than not - NIH stuff)... so, since we have a research favorable administration, maybe the money flow will make me less tense... but i doubt it. my husband works for a big three auto but not one of the ones kissing the administrations rear at the moment - that other family-named one. so, again, maybe we'll both have jobs still by september. maybe not. i feel significantly more in/secure financially than last year.

guarding the playground - hmm - think of what an easy transition preschool will be for Edward, having Cricket preparing him so thoughtfully - plus, she'll have his back in public. that's such a lovely thing, isn't it. it is only your job to prevent serious bloodshed, right? other than that, they are so on their own. i loved how you had commented on Patrick overdoing it sometimes with the twins - and that as he says, let the jury speak because Caroline loves it all... i take that to heart when i watch my 5.5 yr old torturer / play with her 8 month old brother... he squeals with delight. i shut up and make sure no one is falling off the dining room table or out a window. sorry for the long comment... way more fun than my research topic...

[Lee]

I just read through all the comments trying to find out what Davidson's is and I'm no smarter. Please share!

(Oh, and as for the TP, I'm jealous that you can even consider using the holder. My 18mo is such a PITA about unrolling the roll that we've been putting the roll on the back of the toilet for months and months now. Every now and then I test the waters and put it back and every time he gives me the big middle finger.)

[Nee in Germany]

I'll admit, I'm one of those people who laugh at crying babies. They are such drama queens.

Now, a crying 11-year-old, that is about to drive me crazy, but I only have the one. *g*

[n]

I rarely comment because... Given the quality of your writing, I just love myself too much to want to put my writing up next to yours. The contrast... It hurts my pride.

But today, my pride needs to move aside and leave some room for my loudmouthedness.

It didn't occur to me until this post that while that commenter thought that, I often think, "why is Julia so lucky so as to be with a camera at the right moment? That never happens to me!"

I used to think it's because I'm too lazy to grab the camera and just take pictures in case something exciting happens. I sit around reading blogs.

But now I know... Apparently I must be hovering around my children like I'm a human airbag.

Somehow, I do not believe this improved my image any.

[Chickenpig]

Umm...yes I would stop them. Having worked in a pre school, and being a bit more experienced at the twin thing than you at this point in time, I can say "Yes, you should drop the camera and stop it." Why, you ask? Because the innocent pushing off of a window seat (that wouldn't be that innocent if you were a day care teacher and they weren't your children, trust me) turns into a more aggressive pushing off of a more dangerous height 6 months from now. Your first commentator notwithstanding (is it even possible among siblings? of course it is, you should at least TRY to keep the sibling stuff from becoming physical). As I tell my twins "no hitting, no pushing, no kicking...period" (that also includes no biting, spitting, or throwing of objects). You can't stop it all the time, but to sit back and allow toddlers to push, hit, and bite sets them up for more physical stuff later. I really don't understand the people that think that violence amongst their children is 1) normal and 2) regrettable, but unstoppable. Among toddlers it may be amusing, but when they get to be 3, as my twins are, they can really hurt each other, or worse, other children. Yes, they are twins, and they need to work out their own dynamic, but not in a way that causes physical harm. I doubt that you would have the time to stop Caroline in the moment, but after the fact she could have used a good, stern "no pushing".

My twins are also very different in size and strength, at 3 D is almost the size of a 5 year old, and N is still wearing 24 month clothing. But trust me, N can give as good as he gets. It is a tad bit sexist to let Caroline go at Edward because she is smaller in size just because she is a girl. Why would she need WWF moves because she has two brothers? They aren't allowed to just toss her around, are they? N is given the same discipline as his brother for acting out in a violent manner. Children shouldn't feel like they have to defend themselves from their siblings...that's what parents are for. Perhaps I think like a teacher too much, but if I was your nanny and you saw pictures of Edward shoving Caroline off of a 15" bench, even with the floor padded, you would probably fire me.

[Sharon]

I knew this was going to happen. All I'll say is that my oldest son is 22 and my youngest is 16, with a couple other kids in between. And that's years, not months.

I'm sorry, but Edward could have been hurt. He's a baby and doesn't know how to land, pile of cushions or no pile of cushions. His sister is a baby and doesn't know that she could injure her brother. And if one comment which disagrees with you bothers you so much, perhaps you should set up some system where people must log in.

Unfortunately, your mom is wrong about the economy. I live in California and work in real estate, the situation is far worse than anyone knows.

[Julia]

Aw, lighten up, Sharon. You not so subtly implied that I am a bad mother who endangers her children and I defended myself. As one does on one's own blog when one feels inspired to do so. As you can see, some people agreed with you. Others with me. No name calling. No chest heaving. No worries.

It's all good, as the kids used to say.

As for limiting my blog comments because I found material for discussion in your comment... oh for silly.

PS Chickenpig. Do you know what I have always loved about you? You are very very comfortable in your own skin. It's quite refreshing. And I see your point about discouraging violence. However, I think they were playing; albeit roughly. Or trying to play. No biting? Sure. No physical play? Yeah, I don't know. There are lines, don't you think? I'll have to think about it more.

[terri c]

I'm with the commenter way up who spent cash savings and kept investments. Now broke and broke but have been living poor in a career change. Yup, panicked. Caroline is adorable all the time. As are Edward and Patrick, and the toppling Edward on the pillows while Patrick had the bowl on his face? Completely priceless.

[Deanna]

Just to defend the original commenter a little.... Her stated question also crossed my mind when I looked at that post, not in a critical way, but in a "how did she make that decision" way. You see, since I don't have kids I'm often curious about things like that.

[Kate]

Heh. Half the time I laugh when my kid flips out over something. Seriously, there isn't enough energy to soothe every ruffled feeling or set down every camera when one kid shoves another.

[Deanna]

Probably already posted, but free toilet paper roller extender here:

http://www.charmin.com/en_us/pages/extender_request.shtml

[Penny]

I think you are doing a great job with your children. All siblings will tussle and have spats. Being the youngest of seven, I have a little experience with siblings. I made it through to adulthood in one piece and I still speak to all of my brothers and sisters. LOL My three girls had their fair share of sibling rivalry. They survived and are mostly grown and love each other fiercely! Honestly I am surprised you have time to take pictures and keep up with such a great blog. You have your hands full. Reading your blog brings joy to many, so keep it up!!

Thanks, and take more pictures. How about a few more Patrick stories, love that kid!

[Laurie A]

I worked with a grandma whose grandson was teething and she said "When I meet God, the first thing I'm going to ask him is why babies have to go through the teething process." I didn't realize what she meant until my second one lived on Motrin (Tylenol didn't work) for over a month. My first's teeth grew in and we never even knew it.

We're the same as last year. I was laid off last April, but we had paid off our current house with the sale of my condo when we got married (a bonus to marrying late in life), and I still have another seven weeks of unemployment. We're better off than many, so I consider us blessed.

As the mother of two boys, I can tell you that sometimes you just gotta let 'em duke it out.

Caroline's cute in whatever state she's in!

[Mrs. Sprinkles]

I come here just to bask in the brilliance that is your writing. Those first four paragraphs are a glittering jewel in my miserable day today--I think I live for those moments when I see "Julia" become bold in my reader. When are you going to write a book?

[elsimom]

Elizabeth's quote "defeat by the evil hands of gravity" has me on the floor - that is SO funny. I am trying to picture the evil super-nemesis suit that gravity wears .. . . .

[Davida]

I think the real question here is would Sassy the Cat have allowed Caroline to treat Edward thusly?

Also, it is good and right to take pictures when your kids are crying and/or obnoxious. I took a picture of my (2.5 yrs old)daughter's defiant face yesterday and cracked up while doing it. (It did not help matters but it was worth it.)

[PBfish]

Yeah. Those mega-rolls are ridiculous. They always make me wonder about the much ballyhooed ever-expanding American butt-size.

Also, your WWF babies made me laugh and laugh. I imagine that woman who wrote in wasn't a mother because I can't imagine having the kind of lightning speed necessary to sprint across the room and prevent toddler aggression.

[Rebecca]

we've never used oversized toilet paper rolls, probably because we recently moved into a house from a 2BR apartment and are still getting used to the fact that we now have a place to store such bulky items.

I do feel poorer than last year, probably because I am making approximately 300% less money than I was last year. (Was an attorney at a large law firm, now am teaching part-time for peanuts.) But I know that this, too, shall pass and money can't buy the extra time I'm spending with my son.

After my second child is born and old enough to fight with his/her brother, I anticipate I will become a big fan of the "work it out among themselves" philosophy. Life skills, right? And if you are quick enough to capture the moment on camera, so much the better, I say.

I have visited The Hague, and it is quite lovely, so yes, I can see a resemblance.

Teething pain is truly the worst kind of torture.

Love the photos - they inspire me to get a new camera. Maybe next Christmas.

[Karen B.]

Julia -

The photo of Caroline mid-meltdown is exactly like the ones (more than a few, fewer than a bazillion) I took of my dd as a small but mighty tantrum thrower. I took them because it was part of who she was - history picturing only the happiest and prettiest of moments is not a history at all. Anyhoo...seing that photo made me chuckle. Thanks!