Whammo

For about five days the move from spacesaver highchairs with trays to spacesaver highchairs at the table worked well. Caroline demanded to be picked up the minute she was done and Edward would remove his socks at the end of every meal and clean up after himself with them. You know. As one does.

 

Then Caroline perfected a little routine she has been working on during which she flings her body backwards in the seat and causes the whole chair to scoot a few inches. She was able to traverse rather surprising distances this way. Edward - never one to monkey see without monkey trying himself - realized that he could go even farther, even faster; what with his big old coconut acting as a ballast.

"I hope they don't go over and whack their heads," said my friend Noelle.

Yeah, I agreed. I need to come up with something else for them, I said. Maybe a hanging seat, suggested Noelle. And I put researching new seats on my list of things to do.

So this morning Caroline and Edward were eating poached eggs and toast. I sat in between them doling out non-chokable portions (Edward will put anything within reach into his mouth; he needs supervision.)

"Muh yeah muh? Eh? Yeah? Tuh? Didja seeeeeee it?" chatted Caroline [translation: More, yes, more? Egg? Yes? Toast? Didja seeeeeeeee it?] Caroline is less concerned with the quality of her vocabulary than she is with the quantity. I asked her to identify every picture in a book this afternoon and she confidently named each one:

Rabbit? "RUH"

Dog? "DUH"

Bat? "SKRUHNUH DOSH MAHHUNUH."

But back to this morning.

Edward put one fat foot on the edge of the table. He put a piece of toast between his toes.

"Duh DOB!" he said and clapped [Edward is very fond of saying GOOD JOB! and then applauding whatever it is he has done. his self esteem is just so plump and pink and healthy - he is his very own superspecial snowflake and more power to him.]  

"Yes Edward," I said. "But keep the toast on the plate." I smiled. He smiled.

I love Edward's smile.

I also love it when he is being all thoughtful.

Perhaps a bit more thought this morning might have prevented...

I turned toward Caroline to offer her more egg and Edward must've planted his other foot on the table, suddenly pushing backwards. The leg of the chair caught on a floor board and WHAM! he went down like Newton's apple. Poor baby.

Guess what I bought today? Hanging seats that hook onto the table. Not a minute too... well anyway. Edward was more startled than anything. He had a good cry and then finished the rest of his egg. Caroline came over to give him a kiss, a rare offering she only bestows upon Edward and only when he has been hurt.

You know, I was truly scared to be expecting twins and for months and months I was in denial about whether it would actually happen. Yes, part of it was the whole eleven previous miscarriages so don't count any chickens thing but the rest was bog standard what if this works fear. I thought newborn Patrick was so hard to deal with that I literally could not fathom having two babies at the same time. I have a very clear memory of standing in our bathroom with a positive pregnancy test. I had taken one every day since the embryo transfer (1dp5dt, 2dp5dt, 3dp5dt, 4dp5dt) waiting for the hcg trigger shot to disappear from my system so I could test "for real." It never did. Every day the test was vaguely positive and by day four or five or whatever it was I drew my own conclusion: namely that the IVF cycle had worked, that I was pregnant again and that it was twins.

I showed the test to Steve and he said something really memorable like, huh, I guess you're pregnant or well, we'll see, or I hope this works. Something you want to engrave on a Derby julep cup or print on a t-shirt.

I said, "But I don't WANT twins."

Steve said, gently, "No, don't say that. That's not a good thing to say."

And I felt guilty. But I thought it. Twins. Two babies. How on earth would I breastfeed two, I wondered, as a couple of cell clumps probably slapped at each other as they quarreled over who would get the good lining.

As it turned out, nothing I worried about mattered and many of the things I should have worried about never crossed my mind. Breastfeeding? Snuh. They did and then he didn't and then she did and then he thought about it and then she kinda stopped for a bit but then started again and pumping was awful and... who cares. Preterm labor and itty-bitty babies and the very real risks should have been a concern but they weren't. I mean, they weren't until they were.    

All of which is to say that I never considered that it might be... fun. That I might enjoy taking care of two children the same age in ways that I had not enjoyed taking care of the one. I kinda hated toddlerhood last time but, head trauma notwithstanding, I am finding it delightful now. Maybe I've mellowed. Maybe Caroline and Edward are just less demanding. I don't know. I feel lucky. I think I'm lucky.

PS Speaking of t-shirts, Patrick has intuited the concept of cafe press and he announced at dinner that he will be printing shirts and selling them. I suggested he go with something simple and classic like his "be silent like an e" line on white in black Courier and he just stared at me.

"COURIER?"

Patrick has never really liked that font. Why, I don't know but I suspect it is the post-typewriter age. They just don't get it.

My other suggestions ("My Name Is: Juhklum" and "Whaddaya, A Dummy Dope?") met with skepticism. I expect he will come up with something although I liked my ideas. I didn't have the heart to point out that if he really wanted to cash in he would set up a little morel stand on a corner somewhere and put out a wee hand lettered sign: Morels 10$ an ounz. 

Win-win.

Comments

[LizRM]

Your children are beautiful. I know you know that, but take it from an outsider - gorgeous. I have a singleton the twins age (and a son a year younger than Patrick) and as much as chasing her around is tiring I think having another one would be kind of fun. The interaction alone must be a hoot.

But on to important things. I think we have the same dining room chairs. Room & Board cherry?

I enjoy your blog so very much. Thank you for entertaining me so endlessly.

[terri c]

Exquisite photos as always... LOVE Edward's use of socks. LOVE your description esp. the phrase "as one does."

[Not My Mother]

oh my goodness, Edward is SUCH a mini Patrick! I know I say it every time but... wow!

I kinda understand what you said about standing there with a pregnancy test. We're just about to start trying and... well, it's scaring the bejesums out of me. I've spent my entire adult life trying to NOT get pregnant, so now you're saying I should... .just... you know? And I can't get over the idea I need permission from someone to do it. Like my doctor, or my mum.

[Katerina]

Oh Edward is so dreamy. Those delicate eyebrows, those lashes, those soft curls! Ahhh.

"Be silent like an e" is a brilliant, brilliant line. I seriously think Patrick could make some cash with that. So long as he abstains from Comic Sans it'll work.

As the mother of a sweet and easy 10-month-old boy, I love reading about raising twins but quite content to leave the actual experiencing to someone else. I love my baby to bits and he is awesome but he's just enough work for me. Thank you for letting us into your world, it's a really fun place.

[Laurie A]

I too dislike courier for reasons I can't understand. Then again I've always been a big fan of sans serif even before their recommendation as THE font types for online reading.

[Anna]

Patrick's not alone. I can tell you that there is a definite anti-Courier bias among typophiles. How about something nice in a Relay or a Stainless?

[Barbara]

well duh. I commented on the wrong post. Must be early in the a.m. :) Anyway, please note that our local grocery store is selling morels for $30 per pound! Not quite your suggested price, but.........

[Megan]

I can see Patrick finding a spiritual home some day on the Typophile forum: http://typophile.com/. In the mean time, is he a serif or a san-serif kinda guy? I mean, for sans I personally really like Myriad - lovely, simple lines. For serif though perhaps he's a traditionalist and would like Caslon (best known in the Adobe pro version), or Mrs Eaves which is newish, and not very good for body copy, but beautiful in small doses...

... wait... did my font-freak just show again? I have to learn to cover that up better...

[Kez]

I'd buy one of Patricks' t-shirts.

[Cookie]

Your babies are just the cutest. And I loved your comment about Caroline only kissing Edward and only when he's hurt.

The high chair thing is a problem. Nick is three months younger than your twins and would surely have tipped himself over in his high chair by now if we hadn't moved it against a wall. So, now his high chair is against a wall and the table is pull up close and there's not much he can do except attempt to push the table away.

[Elizabeth]

I would buy every one of the t-shirt ideas you just suggested. ROFL

[Elizabeth_K]

Be silent like an e is a lovely t-shirt idea, and courier a perfectly respectable font. Although I'm sure Patrick will come up with a better one ... I'm so glad you are so relaxed and happy and blessed to have twins.

[Felicity]

Wow, Caroline becomes more beautiful with every photo! And look! Sticky tape on the table! Just like our kitchen table/craft centre. :)

I had my children in the reverse order; Edward and Cecilia (Twins) first, and Oscar (single) next... 5 years apart. I found my Twins alot easier, they really had/have such a balanced and complete view of the world, they are just never alone, and never have been. I think the security they have because of that is very deep and fulfilling from an early age. But Oscar has been very demanding, in a wonderful way. Just needing me all the time, and very high needs. I was NOT expecting a single baby to be hard after having had twins, but there you have it. :)

Im glad you are enjoying your Twins, they are so delightful, as is Patrick.

[MamaBirdNYC]

For what it's worth (not much, since I believe you've already bought the hanging chairs) we had good luck with just moving Noa away from the table whenever she would start to push off it. It was tedious for about a week, but she can now sit at the table in her booster and not do exactly what she was trying to do for so long, and what Edward actually did.

Although she does actually also clean up with her socks. So, no, Edward is not alone on that one.

Everyone's looking lovely, as usual.

[Kristin]

When I found out I was pregnant, one of my biggest fears was twins (they run rampant in both mine and my husband's families). I have to say though that I have changed my mind after reading your blog for the past couple of years. You really do seem to be enjoying it and it comes through in every post. Your children are adorable and I love to read about how they interact. I never thought about that part of it--how they could play with each other--just the part about how hard their infancy would be on me. I am only pregnant with one (due in 2 months), but I think that thanks to you, if I were pregnant with twins I wouldn't be freaking out as much as I could have been. Thanks for bringing such a happy and fun perspective to parenting in general!

[Korinna]

A dummy dope. Heh.

And, for real?, your children are ri.dic.ulously adorable.

[Madeleine]

I don't have sticky tape on my table at the moment, but I do always have a little stack of books next to the big kid's chair, so I laughed to see Patrick's books (right after I laughed at Edward's cleaning routine, which is hysterical). I think I can even see the library sticker in the top left corner, though that might be me projecting.

[ksmaybe]

Yes, it's been said before, but holy cow woman, those are some adorable kids! Cricket just makes me smile every time, and Edward looks so much like Patrick...Swoon!

[sheilah]

Wow, another adorable picture of Caroline. I don't think that girl can take a bad picture. And I love Edward's smile too. It really is a lot like Patrick's.

[lynn]

I looked at Edward's photos on this post and thought, "she mistakenly put pictures of Patrick in the spot where she meant to put Edward!" Then I realized I was a dummy dope -- unbelievable how similar your boys look.

I secretly kinda hated the tedium that can come with toddlers the first time around. I think three years of nonstop infertility mayhem (nearly) cured me. I know this is my last child and I am savoring it -- and wishing I had more of a clue with the firstborn, not only for her sake, but for mine.

[Amy]

Wow, Julia- Edward looks JUST like you in that photo. And from what photos you have posted over the year, maybe Caroline is Steve's mini me.
So, so cute!

[Diane]

Edward cleaning with his socks is hysterically funny!

Gorgeous children!

[Deborah VA]

I too find it amusing that whatever one twin does, the other has to try it. Jump off the table, fine, now 2 leaping off the table. Mine are 3.5 b/g and it has certainly been a journey. Your twins are so gorgeous! Enjoy them.

[maria]

Stokke Tripp Trapp High Chair:

http://www.stokke-highchair.com/en-us/tripp-trapp-highchair.aspx

Best chair ever. Un-tippable. Toddlers can climb in and out by themselves. But yet can be buckled! Their feet are flat on the platform so they are comfortable and will sit still longer.

Yep, I have four children and we own three of these: my one year old, three year old and 6 year old still sit in them and my 8 year old would, except that we moved her up to make room for the baby. :)

[jen]

The clapping after accomplishments is too cute. Mine is doing the same thing after he waves and whispers ba ba (Bye Bye). Twins run in my husbands family and I was frieghtened by the prospect of them but your stories really make me reconsider that position.

[Becky]

Dude. Your kids make my ovaries ache.

[Chris]

I enjoy my 2.5 b/g twins immensely. I am so sad I cannot have more, but I am also not greedy. It what it is and I will enjoy my twinkling stars daily. I had a positive test at 4dp5dt...went in for bloodwork early and they told me to pray for 20 - it was 163. They told me to prepare for trips thinking one had split. I DIDN'T want that. I was relieved at twins.....but scared nonetheless. I was on bed rest 2 months at the end, hospitalized, delivered at 33 weeks. 12 days in NICU. You know the rough drill. I nursed both 11 months. Ark. At 6 months I was sure I would die. I made it. I would do it again and again and again. The talk simultaneously every once in a blue moon - one asking a question while the other simultaneously answers. Freaky. I always thought those stories were total bologna...I am a skeptic....You have to admit though - the logistics of twins are often troubling and singleton parents really don't understand. No disrespct. They just don't. Until you have 2 the same age - THE SAME AGE - not 11 months apart - you just have no clue.

[beyond]

ha! i am partial to helvetica myself. love reading you.

[Libby]

Edward looks so much like Patrick! All three are adorable. Oh and the bit about Edward cleaning the table with the socks is hilarious!

And since I am catching up, I am SO relieved Patrick recuperated nicely. Holy cats I was scared for him!

[Alexis M.]

I think you should go over to 1001 Free Fonts (I hope that came out right) and show him all the fonts. I think it will knock his socks off. Oh, another idea is to get him a lettering book. "The Do-It-Yourself Lettering Book" by Anna Burgess and Kim Gamble (just type in lettering book in Amazon.com's search) was a personal favorite of mine growing up...

[Alexis M.]

Ok, that didn't come out right. 1001 Free Fonts can be found at...
http://www.1001freefonts.com

[Cassey]

woo hoo a new post, and it's awesome :)

[Jan]

Seriously, Patrick should sell morels *and* t-shirts. ... the morel of the story is.... Speaking of Patrick, have you seen any of Jessica Hagy's graph-Venn diagram-chart cartoons? Reporters Notebook is one. This is her website: www.indexed.blogspot.com Some of the subject matter will be over his head, but I think he could go nuts with the ideas.

[Denise]

I think you should get hold of the PBS (or is it BBC?) documentary "Helvetica" and show it to Patrick. Right up his alley - another font worthy of his disdain. (I'm not crazy about Courier either.)

[Emily Faulkner]

What you said about the twins really resounded with me. While I don't have twins, I DO have "twiblings," a girl and a boy 13 months apart. They are now 21 months and 8 months. My daughter was the product of infertility after miscarriages, the result of what looked like a doomed IVF cycle. So imagine my shock when I found myself pregnant again when she was 5 months old. Instead of being overjoyed that I could (hopefully) give my child a sibling, I was devastated. And terrified. How would I do it?
But then my son was born, and I did do it, and it was hard, and it is still hard. But they are already each other's best friend, and seeing them together makes it all worth it. And it makes it all more fun. There is something extra special about two babies, and I wouldn't trade this crazy bunch for anything!

[Kelly]

I must have 2 be silent like an E shirts. Please convince him to make them. Please?

[Kristin]

If Patrick puts out the Be Silent Like An E shirts, I want some. I'll buy one for each one of us.

Caroline is just a doll and Patrick is scrumptious.

[Alex]

I would totally buy a "Be silent like an e" shirt. (If I had money for frivolous things like shirts with writing on them, which, at the moment, I don't.)

[Alexicographer]

We skipped high chairs and went straight to the clamp-on type (Regalo in our case), and love it.

Very interesting, your perspective on twins (from both sides of the experience). I worried for you about your/their health when you were pregnant but you always seemed to me like someone who would manage to mother twins in a gracious, loving, and wildly entertaining fashion, and beyond the health concerns I admit it never occurred to me you'd think otherwise. Lovely to know it's turned out as I envisioned it (plenty of other things haven't, so I'm certainly not claiming any talent, here...).

[minni]

you write with such wit! your children are just the funniest! they obviously take after you.

i read your blog all the time and am amazed at the humor and ease and patience with which you deal with all the little ups and downs. i consider myself a very patient parent, but yet i find myself yelling at my kids sometimes. (mine are 4 1/2, 2 1/4, 2 1/4 yrs old). have you ever yelled? have you ever had to repeatedly tell your children "no"?

i want to learn your parenting skills! :)

[Amy]

Edward is seriously your mini-me in that horizontal smiley picture. Cute little xy replica.

[Judy]

I'd buy that shirt. How about Palatino font? http://www.linotype.com/1317/palatino-family.html Just the slightest hint of serif. (P.S. All of us out here in Portland love fonts deliriously.)

[winecat]

I agree with Patrick Courier just doesn't have much going for it. I'm a Georgia lover myself.

As always pictures of you beautiful babies bring me to my knees. Now aren't you glad you had twins???

[wendy]

Does Edward smell as delightful as he looks? I would have trouble keeping my lips off of him if he were mine. Adorable isn't good enough to describe him - more like super squishy squeezy lovable. I miss my boys at that age - so cute!!!

[shriek house]

If I had to guess, I'd say Patrick is a Helvetica man, or possibly Futura. Get the boy a copy of InDesign and see what he comes up with!

[Kelly]

Been reading for some time, but my first comment. I have 11m boy/boy twins and a 4 1/2 yr old girl. I so enjoy reading about Edward and Caroline's interactios with each other and also Patrick's interactions with them. One of my sons (the more rambunctious one - there's always one) flipped his high chair over with the help of his doting big sis who was just trying to give him a kiss.

Yeah, we've changed the rules around smooches and hugs at meal time. I find I'm regulating things I never thought I would need to.

[Suzanne]

We LOVE the tripp trapp chair, started using it soon after my daughter turned one and now at two she's still loving it.

[tgsdmom]

Tripp Trapp is elegant and can be a great chair. However, I am not sure it would have worked for Edward:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJF7vD9nFrA

Lovely kids. Also good camera. Love the "Be silent like an e" T-shirt. (I am not particular about font, myself.)

[estraven]

I second the Stokke Tripp Trapp suggestion. My twin sons are still using them at age 6.

And yes, twins are lovely, and they get even more lovely every day.

[Elaine at Lipstickdaily]

Your children are beautiful, you are a lovely writer, you ARE lucky, and courier for sure sucks.