Crewel

I spent five and a half years with Patrick and never once learned where the children's hospital is located. Seventeen months of Caroline and Edward and I now have a favorite parking lot there (red) and a favorite parking level (E.) I also have a favorite grievance, which goes like this:

Dear Fellow Parents With Sick/Hurt Children,

I know! The hospital! I am so sorry that you are dealing with a child in distress. I understand completely how you feel as I, too, currently have a kid covering her car seat and the window with blood. Stressful, isn't it?

I also know you are having a hard time so I hate to mention this, but did you happen to see those enormous signs that are hung every six inches along the interior parking walls and that read COMPACT CARS ONLY? I understand that the sign at your particular space is obscured by the hood of your Suburban but perhaps the one next to it or the one just past that one or... ? Yeah, well, the reason they try to limit vehicle size, particularly right at the ends with hairpin turns (what we on the Formula One circuit might refer to as the chicanes) is that when you park your GIANT ASSED SUV there you make it almost impossible for someone to get around you. So that it is necessary to execute a fifteen point turn in order to proceed in a linear direction from level B to level C while a little girl screams and spits blood at the back of your head.

This is really fucking annoying.

Sincerely yours,

A Friend

So last night I left the room for five seconds (I had to pee. Steve was in charge.) Then I heard a wail followed by silence. As any parent will tell you, the moment you hear your child cry you tense and wait for the follow-up. Initial cries are all the same - they tell you nothing about the situation. It could be a toy skirmish or a cat dispute or a bump or a sudden realization that the kid doesn't. like. canteloupe! So you tense and wait and the longer you wait the worse you know it is going to be. Children inflate like balloons when they are hurt, instinctively filling their lungs to a capacity that will render that next cry sufficiently telling. Caroline went off like a bomb/air raid siren all in one. I knew it was bad but when it was followed by Steve's urgent "Julia! JULIA! JULIA!" I almost tripped in my haste to get out of the bathroom (it was six hours later that I realized that I had never managed to zip up my pants. nice.)

"She's bleeding," Patrick reported, looking sweetly concerned as he alternated between patting her foot and wringing his hands.

I lunged for her and made those soothing nonsensical noises that one makes as one tries to figure out whether the child has knocked out all her teeth or ripped her lip off or what, exactly, it is causing so very much blood to gush from her mouth. I discovered that her upper teeth had cut just below her lip on the outside and her bottom teeth had punctured the inside of her lip on the reverse. I could not quite tell if she had bitten through but I did not think so. I put a cold cloth on it and rocked her and called my friend Noelle for a consult. When do you get stitches, being the question of the day.

She said if it was still bleeding after ten minutes with pressure it should probably get checked but she called her family doctor husband to confirm. He did. I looked at Caroline's gash and decided to take her to urgent care immediately, ten minutes be damned.

Things to know for future reference: they do not use face glue (fine, DermaBond) around the mouth as it is not effective there. The urgent care doctor (who is part of our pediatric practice) did not want to do the stitches herself as she was worried about scarring so she sent us to Childrens. In retrospect I should have just taken Caroline straight to the emergency room rather than waste time with the detour through urgent care but that's ok. I didn't know. Now I do. As we left the doctor said that it was going to be traumatic for Caroline and, oh, she knew that the ER was busy what with all the flu cases so try to stick to a corner and good luck.

Greeeeeeeaaaaaat (choking, skin cancer, drowning AND THE FLU.)

For four hours I never put Caroline down.

The triage nurse who admitted her put some kind of numbing gel on a pad and then tried to secure the pad under Caroline's lip with a complicated series of bandages that wrapped all the way around her head. She looked a bit like Christopher Robin with the mumps, only the banadages were hot pink and purple. We waited forty-five minutes before we were sent to a room at which point the doctor figured out that Caroline had pulled her lip up from the numbing gel so that her chin was probably feeling nothing but there was no way they could stitch her lip together. So we repeated the gel pad and I walked her around for another forty-five minutes.

Finally they decided she was as numb as she would ever be. They strapped her to a board. She pulled her hand free. They secured the hand again. She pulled it free again. They told me to just hold the hand. Then they started on the stitches while Caroline fought like a wild thing. She freed her other hand. Then she kicked her feet out. I had my entire body pressed against her to hold her still while she screamed and screamed and kicked and screamed.

She got five stitches. I aged five hundred years.

When I got home we gave her lashings of Motrin and milk and clean pajamas and she crashed immediately. Then I went to check on Patrick who was reading in his bed. I told him about Caroline's stitches and about how she fought so hard she broke the restraints.

Patrick beamed.

"She is one tough little wonderbaby," he said.

 

PS The stitches run just under her bottom lip.
PPS Remind me to tell you about the Amazing Adventures of SuperPatrick and the Wonder Babies.
PPPS The whole time I was at Childrens last night I was grateful that we were there for something so relatively minor. It felt like a luxury to know that it would suck briefly and then be done. There is absolutely nothing like sick and hurt kids en masse to make you feel humble.
PPPPS She has been looking this tragic all day long. It's killing me. Like, I trusted you, mommy, until the whole painful bloody hold me down thing.

Comments

[Esther]

Oh, poor baby! Knock on wood, we haven't had any stitches since Ethan (6) was a wee lad. Knock on wood.

[chicago sarah]

What great GREAT stories she can make up about that when she's older... And I'm pretty sure that she won't remember being held down. I don't remember any of the ER visits my mom made with me, only when I was older (7 and up) when she stopped taking me to the ER and made butterfly bandages at home (in her defense, my folks were WAY poor and had crappy insurance and only one car that my dad took to work, and she is a nurse...and I only have one visible scar). :)

[Katelyn]

I slipped and busted the underside of my chin open on a metal slide at the park when I was 4 and had five stitches. The scar is small and isn't noticeable being on the underside of my chin. I remember them stitching it up. I also remember walking to the car while crying b/c my dad was carrying my brother who was 2. Kid heal quickly and as young as Caroline is, she won't remember later.

[Nellabean]

Poor sweet baboo . . . happy healing!

With two little fearless boys, I'm considering stealing your letter and keeping a stack in the car for distribution during our own ER visits.

[Karishma]

i just reopened my computer and so the last thing i was reading, this, was still open and seriously. that picture of little caroline breaks my heart just a little. poor thing! i wish her doctors could have given her a little sedation to make it a little easier on her.

[Karishma]

p.s. liz's comment cracked me up :)

[shriek house]

My kid did the same thing around the same age, only she didn't get glue OR stitches, can't remember why, but she does have a nice little scar now. She actually likes it and requests the "lip story" now and again.

I am so sorry you had to be the cruel mother, I know that scene too well, but I do agree with Patrick's proud sentiments, quite a bit.

May the rest of the week be blessedly uneventful.

[expat]

The poor little thing, poor you, too.

I detest and despise going to children's hospitals. Just the fact that there is a need for such specialised stuff (signs for no eating in radiology so kids fasting don't cry, bracelets color coded by weight and strips in each room with color coded dosages for emergencies, game consoles on trolleys for bedside amusement), that means there's obviously a lot of sick kids out there, makes me so sad.

[expat]

Aurelia, do you have children? Usually it's not pain that they are resisting, but the strangeness, and then the being restrained. Even if you're not doing anything (painful or not), try and hold a toddler very still and they will fight to be let out.

[heather g]

I have often had to hold my son down to give ventolin esp. when younger. I guess no-one wants something over their mouth when they are panicing and not breathing well. He seems to forgive me but I loathe the whole thing.

[Pam L]

She does look quite tragic, and I cannot read all the above stories of injured babies. I just know how hard it is when you have to do what you did because you don't have a choice. I'm amazed they even got 5 stitches in her. Amazing.

[Me]

My daughter too fell at that age and bit into her face right below her lips. They do in fact use dermabond there and it worked just fine. I think it is just a doctor's personal preference and experience with it on the face because at Childrens Memorial hospital in Chgo it is standard treatment when feasible but at other hospitals I have seen doctors who prefer never to use it. My guess is their lack of experience with it.

Always ask for the finest stitches available (5-0 to 0 being the finest) when on the face and in spite of doctor advice to keep it dry, keeping it wet with an antibiotic cream actually lessens the scar.

[Me]

I would like to add that in my experience for what it is worth, dermabond is not better scar-wise than the finest suture available. I actually find the sutures the best as long as they are removed earlier than the standard 7-10 days.

[Sarah]

Poor wonderbaby! And poor mama and papa!
My 15-month old daughter had her first blood-gushing episode just a few weeks ago at the San Diego Zoo. A stumble in the ampitheater and we were making a headlong rush to the (conveniently located!) first aid building, where a wonderful paramedic checked her out, cleaned her up and reassured the freaked-out first time parents that all of her teeth were still there, and in fact she'd just bitten her bottom lip. We were definitely way more scarred by the experience than she was, and since it was actually her lip and not the skin below it, no stitches, but I think there won't be a scar at all.

[serina]

It must be a twin thing that you become very familiar with the emergency department!
Poor little Cricket! I hope she mends quickly! Poor mommy, as well!

[~Lucy~]

Oh, baby. Poor baby. I remember my son's stitched lip and it is still one of the most singularly traumatic experiences of my life. Even more so than when he needed adrenalin to keep his heart going in the ambulance on the way to ICU with an asthma attack. Strapping them down just seems so horribly wrong.

[Kristin]

What an awful experience. It just sucks to see your child in pain. I have a hard time holding down my son's legs during immunizations--I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you yesterday.

[bad penguin]

Oh, poor wonderbaby! She does look tragic. I have a little tiny scar in almost the exact same spot, from just about when I was her age. Or so they tell me. I can't really remember it, so she probably won't either.

[Carrie]

Every mommy knows that expression. It took me, my husband, and TWO nurses to pin my two year-old son down for an IV and the entire time he looked me straight in the eyes with that exact expression while screaming "Mommy, Hurts" - as in: "Mommy it hurts, why are you letting them do this to me!" Every mommy knows that expression.

[Julie]

I am so sorry. I remember forcefeeding our sick, newly adopted toddler daughter (about 7 days into being a family!) some much-needed medicine and the rage and misery she expressed as a result. I wept, later, convinced she would never forgive me, and her woebegone looks the next day made me sure of it.

But it only took a day and all was well. It really truly was. And her subsequent hugs and trust meant I got some of those five hundred years that I had aged back again.

Hang in there -- you're a good mom and she's as beautiful as ever.

[Libby]

Oh look at that face. Poor sweet Cricket, and poor you. Hope she heals quickly.

When my daughter was 2 she hit her head right in the eyebrow against the corner of a stereo speaker and blood gushed everywhere. I ran to get a towel and heard a thump, came back to find her father passed out next to her. Went to the Dr (didn't have to go to the ER, thank goodness) and they had to papoose her, (if that's what Caroline escaped from, she is strong as an ox, I must say) she was screaming so loud, I was crying, and her dad passed out again in the corner of the room. She got six stitches and has a teeny tiny scar in the middle of her eyebrow now, no one notices it but me.

[Alice]

Sweet little pumpkin. Keep that photo to show her in case she decides to get lip-plumping silicon later in life to look like Julia Roberts. Nothing scarier than a children's hospital. Except when it's vaguely amusing, like seeing your one-year-old in diaper and The World's Smallest Johnny toddling purposefully down a ward hallway at 2 a.m. because "I had terrible croup and scared my mom half to death with the wheezing, but then they gave me epinephrine in a nebulizer which pretty much cleared it up but it's also a stimulant so I am WIDE AWAKE! WHERE ARE THE TOYS?"

[Alexicographer]

I'm so sorry. Thank goodness you were able to execute that 15-point turn and get her in. And her restraint-breaking suggests a toughness that I'm sure will do her well as she heals, poor thing.

Sorry, what follows is gross, but it does relate to my ability to empathize with Miss C. At 16 I came off a horse in a manner that involved sliding along the ground on my face -- not something I can recommend. I peeled my lower lip back until you could, apparently, see my jaw bone ("degloving"). I ended up needing 25 stitches in my mouth (It did heal up fine, though it scarred. Of course it's not visible to anyone but my dentist). The 5 stitches just above my upper lip from the same accident, which were on the outside, did not scar, FWIW. Anyway ... the most phenomenally painful part was getting the novacaine shot that preceded the stitches. So painful, in fact, that I ignored the fact that some of the stitches were going into unanesthesized skin ... the stitching hurt less than the 'caine. Which is my complicated way of saying, I'm glad she had numbing gell. Also, while faces bleed horribly (darn them), they also heal fast.

[Lisa]

awwww, poor baby! that must be SO hard for both of you.

[Cris]

To build on what Aurelia said - Versed, Versed, Versed!

I had to hold my (then) four year old down in the ER while they sewed the nasty gash in her knee back together (another hint - never let a child were shorts and ladybug rainboots to a store full of sharp granite sample). Awful. And, as stated above, unnecessary.

In hindsight I should have asked for the same stuff they gave unbalanced baby boy before each of his surgeries. Versed makes them a little 'drunk,' much more calm, and wipes the whole horrible thing out of their memory. Much better for both baby and mommy, and the Doc putting delicate stitches into the face (or knee).

The medical lowdown:Midazolam, pronounced mɪˈdæzəlæm (and marketed under brand names in English speaking countries, Dormicum, Hypnovel, Midacum and Versed) is an ultra short-acting benzodiazepine derivative. It has potent anxiolytic, amnestic, hypnotic, anticonvulsant, skeletal muscle relaxant, and sedative properties. Midazolam is unique amongst benzodiazepines in that it is water soluble rather than fat soluble like most other benzodiazepines. It is considered an ultra short-acting benzodiazepine, with an elimination half-life of about 2 hours. It is used in some countries for the short term treatment of insomnia and in many countries as a premedication before surgery. It is therefore a very useful drug to use for short minor procedures such as dental extraction.

So glad to hear she's okay. Love Patrick's comment!

[Kir]

They are so cruel to little kids (with the "assumption" that they will not remember). There is something called "conscious sedation" where they give the baby a shot, but they remember NOTHING (eyes stay open, but no pain is felt).

My 19 mo old just had a huge gash in his head (5-8 stitches - who is to know - hidden). I had to INSIST that they not tie him down to do the stitches, but to PLEASE put him out. I *think* it is ketamine (sp), but I am not certain (they do not give it to adults b/c it causes nightmares). Anyway, I know my baby remembers pain (I cut his finger while cutting his nails 5 months ago and he now screams at fingernail cutting time!).

Off my soapbox. This is my 3rd child, so I too am not a worrier, but.... There is no reason to torture children and make them feel pain WHEN PAIN MEDICATION IS AVAILABLE!!!!

[Karen]

When my oldest was about 18 months old, he decided to snuggle on our big, fluffy white cat, who usually loved to be snuggled, but happened to be sleeping.

You know what happens when you startle a big fluffy cat (non-declawed) out of a sound sleep, and your face is right there?

Yeah. The damn cat BIT my son right on the forehead, and clawed him as well. While I was standing RIGHT THERE. Blood everywhere, me yelling at the cat and trying simultaneously to comfort my son.

Who, by the way, calmed down wonderfully on the way to the ER, and when we got there was pleasantly bemused by all the attention his bite wounds got, not to mention the blood all over his onesie and my shirt.

I called my husband and told him, "This is some Quality Parenting going on right here."

My son is now 9 and has no scars, or memories of dear, fluffy Spot biting him (said Spot quickly found a childless home).

[Karen]

Oh, and I have had to hold down my youngest for blood draws more times than I care to remember. Seriously, the kid has had so many needle pokes that he will point to his inner elbow and say "Uh-uh" because inevitably I have to tell the phlebotomist, "No, seriously, use a butterfly needle ON HIS HAND because he has shy veins" after he or she has poked my poor kid a bazillion times and gotten nothing. Sheesh. It's horrible to have to hold your child down for medical stuff.

[Auburn]

Poor little thing. I had to hold my son down in one of those horrible papoose board for stitches when he was 11 months, 12 of them to be exact...on his face. Horrible experience. My sympathies. She's lovely though...fat lip and all.

[Elizabeth]

When I was little I used to fall down the stairs every time my parents left the house and every time my mother wore a specific shirt (which I would proceed to bleed on - she's kept it to show me so I feel bad as an adult for bleeding on her white shirt about 30 times). Long story short...I put my teeth through my lip about 10-20 times (not exaggeration - my parents stopped taking me to the doctor because they were worried about being accused of abuse). I don't have ANY scarring, so I'm sure she will heal beautifully.

[Sarah]

Wow, such events. I think I aged several years when they tried to run an IV for my dehydrated son...he was about 11 months, I think. Four limbs, 4 attempts, no success, I cried, we quit to just give him pedialyte more urgently.

Afterward I learned that our Children's Hospital has a specially trained team that just does IVs for very sick kids. But they don't go to the ER unless you know to demand it. It has made me suspicious and wary to ever go back. Knock on wood, we have been able to stick to minor emergencies and urgent care. I know, I should feel more lucky.

Leave it to Patrick to put ti all in perspective :) I am glad the tough wonderbaby is OK. And I hope you're OK too.

[CathyY]

a hug to you... her face in that picture is so sad, and i know how you feel when you think she's associating you with the misery of the experience! what an awful experience for you both - hope she's better and smiling soon.

[Helen]

My 5 year old had to go and have some of his baby teeth removed under GA. His teeth were rubbish despite only breastmilk and water and no sweets...but I digress. Nothing like the trauma of holding down your baby while they scream in terror and beg you to help them...he doesn't remember a thing though. Thank all the powers that be that it was just teeth and nothing nasty...PS I know 3 people who did exactly the same thing as kids and all have tiny, unnoticable scars and great, gory stories...

[zarqa]

I have to say I had to stop reading this after the fourth/fifth sentence, take a break, and come back to it later. So painful to me is the idea of anything painful happening to any of your beautiful babies. So sorry you had to go through it all! My friend tells the story of her child, when one, banging her chin such that her two top teeth broke right through under her bottom lip. Horrific, yes, but it happens to the best of us. And the baby, now a fresh high school graduate, of course, doesn't remember a thing.
The picture: yes, I do see the "et tu?" accusation. But, it, too, will be forgotten soon. [hugs]

[marie]

I know how you feel. When my daughter was 2 1/2 she got cut just under her left eye. I had left her with her 7 yr old brother to check on the laundry (bad move). In the ER they sedated her and strapped her down, then told me that I could not be in the room as it would only serve to "upset her". The worst part was when she came out of sedation half way through the stitches and started screaming for "mommmmmiiieeeee" and they still would not let me in to comfort her.

P.S. I know women who pay good money for a lower lip like that.

[jen w]

why didn't they sedate her?

[Kathleen]

Oh, Julia, I wish I could hug you and give you a box of wine. I've been there and while my son has not one memory of it, it still brings tears to my eyes.

Speaking of tears, Patrick's commentary on his sister brought them to my eyes as well. Wonderbabies, indeed, and super Patrick.

[Holly W.]

I haven't seen this in any of the comments and forgot to leave it when I told my own "child in the ER" story, but Mederma for kids is a wonderful, wonderful thing. I used it on Jeremy's injury after he got his stitches and there's hardly a scar at all. I recommend that you run out, buy some, and start it ASAP.

[Hetty Fauxvert]

Your astounding Wonder Baby is *still* adorable even with stitches and a fat lip! Poor kiddo, with all the thrashing and fighting etc..... but I'll bet you remember it much longer than she does!

Re the big-ass SUV in the tiny-ass parking space: Julia, I love you and your writing and we are fellow moms in the trenches of twin toddlerhood, BUT -- I must defend at least some of us who have engaged in the cram-it-in method of parking. Our Humongous HMO has since remedied the issue, but there was a time when there was NO FREAKIN' PARKING to be had at their campus, and when you have arrived ten minutes late for your doc appointment with your twins (due to not one but two last-minute poopy diapers, one cat barfing, and the husband collaring you at the last second for a consult as to who gets to escape the nuthouse that night for a little while, him or you), and Humongous HMO will RESCHEDULE your appointment if you are 15 minutes late, which means you have exactly 5 minutes to park, jam the wiggly twins into the stroller and make it through the parking lot and into the office and sign in -- and remember, there is NO PARKING to be had -- tell me, will you then shrug and sigh and say screw it and cram your big fat SUV (or minivan, in our case) into the compact space that is a reasonable distance from the door, or will you do the Joan of Arc thing and nobly go look for appropriate parking, even while the minutes are ticking away and you are getting ever closer to having to do the whole damned thing over again in a couple of days because they won't let you in the %$#!&%& door because you're late! Well... perhaps you can tell the choice I made. Not nice, but sometimes necessary.

[Heather]

Poor Caroline! I hope she feels better soon.

[Colleen]

I'm glad to hear she will be ok. Good thing she's a tough wonderbaby.

My 2 yr old has now been under a general anesthetic twice (for fiaxable, relatively minor reasons, thankfully - back abscess, dental work). In my 37 years, I have never had the pleasure myself...

Mostly, I just wanted to comment on the last post because this line...

"I never once thought you were a terrible person for doing x or y, or x and y on the same night."

...was the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Add me to the chorus of I LOVE your writing, meander away about anything, I will be here.

[terri c]

Poor Caroline and poor you!! I love how proud Patrick is of his Wonderbaby sister. Am sure she will recover more quickly than you did.

[Katie]

Oh, Julia. I was there with my son when he was 15 months (now 2 yrs old) and split his chin open. Almost identical ER experience at Children's with the numbing gel, papoose board, screaming and subsequent refusal to keep a bandaid over the stitches. Do I keep putting one on and risk him ripping out the stitches or do I try to keep him clean and cross my fingers. This is a NO WIN. Nothing to say to make you feel better except that you are not alone and she'll never remember it. You'll never forget it, but still. Sending hugs to you and Caroline.

[Libby]

Oh poor Caroline! I am so glad it was relatively minor and I hope that she feels better soon.

[Verna]

Not to be a crank, but the only reason any place--hospital, retail outlet, post office--posts those "compact cars only" signs is to make sure that they've crammed in all the parking spaces they're allotted by zoning, etc. It's not a reward for driving a Smart car. They purposely make lots of tiny spaces so they can claim parking for 200 or whatever their agreement with the municipality calls for.

Sorry about the baby.

[TheGoriWife]

Aww! Baby's first stitches! But what a place to get them - hopefully they'll be invisible!

[Katie]

Ooh, I'm so sorry. For both of your pain. Our son had to be strapped to a papoose board for dental work at 20 months old, and my husband and I were both in tears, listening to our baby's screams. That same son did the exact thing Caroline did, except his hole was on his cheek. I had to leave the room when they injected the lidocaine (Daddy stayed). So sad :-(

I really came over to ask you about your Spicy Shrimp Pasta recipe. http://julia.typepad.com/julia/files/spicy_shrimp_pasta.htm
The first time I made it, when you first posted it, it was swimming in olive oil. I have the same result even with less oil. The other night I tried it with only 1/4 C oil. It was still swimming -- I could see pools of oil in the pan and at the bottom of the dishes. Is it supposed to be like this? I am not one to shy away from the calories (I have been eating brownie batter out of the fridge all day), but olive oil is expensive!

[Sissy]

That is one cute kid! Wow!
I guess now is when I delve into Aidan's first ER visit and blah blah blah, right? I'll spare you. I'm your newest stalker and I don't wanna get banned so soon :)

[Julia]

Not to be crankier, but if you imagine five narrow rectangles stacked on top of each other with a spiral path looping top to bottom and back down again you can understand how circumscribing the width of that path creates an actual impediment to progress. It is not the width of the SUV that is the problem in the interior compact car spaces; it is the length. Hence, I had to reverse, spin my wheels, inch forward, spin in the opposite direction, reverse again, et cetera, all in an effort to go forward.

The real reward for driving a Smart Car is that you look cool and you never have to be the designated driver because, oh pity, you cannot squeeze another living creature into your car. Not that I would know personally because my own vehicle is as long as a hearse. And German, which probably carries its own dreadful associations.

[Wendy]

oh so so so so sorry. yeah i had to swaddle mine in a towel and sit on her and pull a tick off her ear while hubs was quarantined upstate for swine flu. no joke. the feeling that you've totally betrayed your offspring isn't one i care to experience quite as frequently as i do.
and, by the way, my brother did the exact same thing to his lip but i think it was on stairs at the filene's basement in boston. we lived about half an hour outside of town. no idea how my mom managed that one.