I had to swear on a stack of Captain Underpants books (the library cart stopped outside the hospital room. Patrick took one look at the string of Words We Do Not Say on the cover said, "Well THIS looks interesting") that I would wake Patrick up at midnight and four am and get him to ingest a combined 17.3 ml of clindamycin/cefdanir (the "a" in clinda? it's for ASS) and I would take his temperature every four hours and I would bring him back to the hospital if he was anything less than 115% perfect at any time; but the attending physician agreed to release him last night so he could be home for his birthday.
Yay!
We were especially pleased by this unexpected doctorial pardon because the infectious disease doctor we saw yesterday morning just made a face when given the same request.
"Birthday tomorrow? Hmmm, well, I can guarantee you will be home before July. How does that sound?"
Patrick said, "JULY? Do you know how many DAYS THERE ARE LEFT IN JUNE?" And then he covered his face with his hands and started to cry.
We still do not know what the infection is, exactly, or where it is, precisely. We know a great deal about what and where it is not, however, and we know that his levels are heading in the right direction. If it had not been his birthday today they would have kept him on the IV antibiotics through at least tomorrow but it is and they did not. So Patrick slept at home last night (when I wasn't waking him up per my sacred oath) and he is very very very happy about this.
Thank you so very very much for all of your good wishes and prayers. They meant a lot to me.
I apologize for not posting an update sooner. When I called his doctor on Monday afternoon and said that Patrick had just started another 103 degree fever they told me to bring him in. I was about 75% certain that they would send us to the ER after they saw him so I took the precaution of packing a backpack to bring with us. I had stuff for Patrick to drink and snacks and some books and a couple Sudoku puzzles and a warmer shirt for him. I also brought my laptop and a novel for myself. So when the ER admitted him to the hospital I patted my back for showing such foresight. Once we got upstairs to his room, though, I realized that I had forgotten a billion important things (toothbrush. pillow for Patrick since the hospital ones were hard and made his head sweat as if he had jumped into a pool. pajamas for me. fifty more Sudoku puzzles. my bedtime chocolate. a thermos full of wine) and I discovered that although the hospital has added wireless internet since Caroline was a patient seventeen months ago they have blocked all of the social networking sites like Typepad and Facebook. I think this is kinda crappy, actually. I understand why employers have done it but why would a hospital care how their patients choose to utilize the internet? That is a sincere question by the way; I really cannot understand why they put these restrictions in place. Not only could I not read any blogs to while away the time as Patrick complained incessantly about his IV site; I could not access a page to post anything to mine. It even blocked your comments from being delivered via email although I received other messages.
Ultimately it didn't matter all that much, though, because I managed to leave my laptop on all night when we got there and the battery died and I forgot to ask Steve to bring the charger when he came bearing supplies and that was the end of my ability to communicate electronically.
One quick story:
Patrick treated the entire situation like an abduction. Every time someone came into the room and asked, "So what brings us here?" Patrick would say, "WELL. I was feeling MUCH BETTER but then she [that would be me, thanks] took me to the clinic and I told them I was feeling MUCH BETTER but they decided to send me to the hospital and now here I am feeling MUCH BETTER except for all the blood draws and the IV."
He decided almost instantly that they would keep him if he was sick so whenever someone asked how he was feeling he would say, "Great! I feel great! Nothing hurts! I have never felt better in my ENTIRE LIFE."
He quickly became famous/notorious with the doctors and nurses for being the most argumentatively healthy sick kid on the floor. Also, I overheard his nurse telling the radiology techs, "Please don't talk down to him; it agitates him." You should have seen Patrick's face the first fifty times someone asked him if he had any "owies" or told him the blood pressure cuff was going to give his arm a hug. Sorry. I actually just laughed aloud as I remembered that. He is such a pain in the ass sometimes.
Yesterday, after he had a CT scan done on his neck, they brought him back up to his room via the main elevator. It was full of people and Patrick and his nurse and his IV were towards the back. As the elevator started to go up Patrick said, firmly, "I want two things: I want to go home and I want someone to take this thing out of my hand."
The doctor standing next to me whispered, "Um, is he taking us all hostage? Are those his demands?"
I looked at the ceiling and tried to pretend I was with the sweet, silent child in the front.
Patrick thought Caroline should have some birthday bows in her hair this morning to celebrate his awesome birthdayness . She patiently humored him.
We are very glad he is home.
PS He has to go back for more blood work tomorrow and I am pretty sure that they are sending him to an ENT in the near future. At last check his tonsils were mildly ok'er but his adenoids were disgusting and I think they will want him to get the structures back there checked after the infection is deemed to be fully under control. I am actually nervous about the testing because he really was on the bubble in terms of being released and if the oral antibiotics are not being as effective as we hope they are... no. It doesn't bear considering. Positive! Thinking!
PPS Sorry this is so mish-mashy. Patrick is still registering as a 10.6 on the Neediness Scale and I have a cake to make and decorate (every time they did something to him that was painful I tried to distract Patrick by asking him things. at one point I asked what his birthday cake should look like. "Bright yellow? Sure. Purple lettering? Absolutely. In a... in a what font style? I mean, YES I can do that!" I have basically committed to the Sistine Chapel of birthday cakes. I didn't have the heart to say, oh, sweetie, Mommy was just making false promises to help you ignore the fact that you had blood dripping down your hand; I don't know how to decorate cakes you silly child.
PPPS Thank you again, seriously, for all the kindness. I am reading through comments and you are making me cry. Cry, I tell you.
Glad your sweet boy is home!
Posted by: Martine | June 25, 2009 at 03:27 PM
SO glad Patrick can celebrate his birthday at home.
Posted by: karyn | June 25, 2009 at 03:28 PM
Oh thank goodness Patrick is home. Happy Birthday!
Hope you keep coping Julia. Sending you all my good thoughts.
Posted by: Wendy from Oz | June 25, 2009 at 03:29 PM
so glad patrick is home! happy birthday to him and i'll keep him in my prayers that he doesn't need to go back.
give his arm a hug? come on!
Posted by: brandi | June 25, 2009 at 03:30 PM
YAY!!! I am so glad you posted and that all is well, or at least, MUCH BETTER. I love you, your family, your sense of humor, your grace, and I am so so happy to read this post HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATRICK!!!!
Posted by: victoria | June 25, 2009 at 03:30 PM
Oh! Thank! God!
Happy birthday, Patrick, and hallelujah!
I can breathe now. Whew.
Posted by: Tine | June 25, 2009 at 03:30 PM
Happy birthday Patrick! You adorable little smartass.
Posted by: yatima | June 25, 2009 at 03:31 PM
welcome home, we missed you all.
Posted by: kathy b | June 25, 2009 at 03:31 PM
hooray! happy birthday Patrick!!! so glad to hear he's doing much better. :) and here's hoping he doesn't have to be admitted again.
Posted by: Emily | June 25, 2009 at 03:33 PM
This post is **the** best thing that has happened in the whole of today! Happy Birthday Patrick!!!
Posted by: Victorix | June 25, 2009 at 03:34 PM
Perhaps one of those nice bakeries would scan the message (in the correct font and colour of course!) onto one of their edible cake topper decorations? Or if it's too late for that this year a thought for next year?
Posted by: Discopitbull | June 25, 2009 at 03:34 PM
I swear I think I just let out the biggest breath I didn't realize I'd been holding in. I'm so glad to hear that Patrick is home and enjoying his birthday even if he's still a bit needy and not 100%.
Prayers still coming that the infection gets totally knocked out of there and that he rebounds like only a kid can do.
Thank you for taking the time to update! We missed you!
Posted by: Rachel | June 25, 2009 at 03:34 PM
Happy Happy Birthday Patrick!
Posted by: Liz | June 25, 2009 at 03:36 PM
Whew!
Happy birthday Patrick!
Posted by: Leah | June 25, 2009 at 03:36 PM
Phew! I've been obsessively checking in my feed reader...and then just clicked on it to check and hurrah! He's home! Here's hoping he continues getting healthier and healthier.
What all have they ruled out? Unknown makes me antsy.
Posted by: Jen | June 25, 2009 at 03:38 PM
To quote Leah...Phew!
Happy Birthday Patrick!
Posted by: Amanda P. | June 25, 2009 at 03:38 PM
Happy Birthday Patrick! We're so happy that you are better and that they let you out.
I've been checking back multiple times a day and my girls are thrilled to hear that he's home (they talked about Patrick for HOURS yesterday "Do you think he's better now? What do you think he's doing? Will they let him out?").
Posted by: Toni | June 25, 2009 at 03:38 PM
thanks for the update, I am so glad Patrick is home.
Happy Birthday Patrick!
Posted by: Dara | June 25, 2009 at 03:39 PM
Am so glad he's enough better to be home. Happy Birthday Patrick!!! You're a trooper.
Hope he continues mending without any more excitement - you all could use the most excitement having to do strictly with birthday cake!
Posted by: Leslie | June 25, 2009 at 03:39 PM
I am so relieved and so happy that Patrick is at home. Praying hard the oral antibiotics do the job. And, I absolutely love that he gave them a hard time for talking down to him...GO PATRICK...and Happy Birthday!
Posted by: Kristin | June 25, 2009 at 03:41 PM
I am so glad he's home, and I will be getting a call from my daughter telling me "Patrick's home" within the hour. Did you know you were an occasion for bonding? We are very happy.
Posted by: Sarah | June 25, 2009 at 03:42 PM
If anyone could take an elevator full of medical personnel hostage and get those demands met it would be Patrick. That part made me laugh out loud. I want him to grow up to be a hostage negotiator.
Glad he's home for his birthday!
Posted by: Kizz | June 25, 2009 at 03:42 PM
Oh and Happy Birthday Patrick! Can't forget that.
I knew he was sorta the same age as my youngest, but didn't realize how close -- his 7th birthday is Saturday. I can't believe you still get to have font obsessions when I've got Pokemon obsession...for the third time (the teen sibling brothers can still speak fluent pokemon and have taught him how to properly play, something most other 6 almost7 year olds and his mother don't have down.)
Posted by: Jen | June 25, 2009 at 03:42 PM
Happy Birthday Patrick!
And Well Done Momma!
Posted by: Tor | June 25, 2009 at 03:44 PM
So happy to hear that Patrick is home in time for his Birthday!
Happy Birthday to Patrick - and a continued speedy recovery to him.
p.s. the yellow Sistine Chapel cake with purple fancy font is going to look great :)
Posted by: Megumi | June 25, 2009 at 03:45 PM
I have been STALKING Google Reader waiting for an update from you. Glad he's home. Hoping he goes from strength to strength.
Happy Birthday Patrick!
Posted by: Sarah | June 25, 2009 at 03:47 PM
Thank the MAKER! Man I've been anxious!!!
Posted by: Maggie | June 25, 2009 at 03:47 PM
So happy to hear he is home. I had to chuckle at the request to 'not talk down to him.' You go Patrick, old soul.
Bless your heart, you must be exhausted. I hope the twinkles let you sleep well tonight.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PATRICK!
Posted by: Kelly | June 25, 2009 at 03:47 PM
I'm glad the birthday boy is on the mend. I hope seven is a most excellent year. And FWIW, I can't even see where Caroline had her stitches.
Posted by: marie | June 25, 2009 at 03:48 PM
I think I've reached a new level of... something or other because I kept hitting refresh on my blogroll just in case you had posted an update the Internets didn't notify me about.
Speaking of owies, BP hugs and condescending doctors: when I was 14, I went to the hospital late-ish at night with all the symptoms of appendicitis. They drew blood, found an elevated white count, etc., so decided to operate that night (BTW this was before ultrasounds or anything diagnostically sophisticated like that). SO the surgeon came in and I swear started speaking in the first-person plural, as in, "What we're going to do now is a little operation. We're going to open your tummy and look at your appendix." Keep in mind I was 14 for God's sake, though a generally shy and respectful 14, until that night. So when he said in his explaining-to-the-retarded tone, "Now what do we do if we find your appendix actually ISN'T infected?", before he had a chance to answer his own question, I sweetly said, "Then we sue for malpractice!" That shut him up good. (BTW I did have appendicitis and was hospitalized for four days. Nowadays it's probably laparascopic outpatient...)
Posted by: Alice | June 25, 2009 at 03:48 PM
I was so anxious when I saw your name bolded in my google reader, but the first thing I saw when I clicked on it was "Captain Underpants." Nothing bad can possibly be associated with Captain Underpants. Whew.
Posted by: throwingutah | June 25, 2009 at 03:48 PM
Excellent!!!
Posted by: Barbara | June 25, 2009 at 03:50 PM
Yea!! Patrick's home!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATRICK!!
Many prayers were said and will continue for his good health!
Posted by: Rett | June 25, 2009 at 03:50 PM
I don't know you, but you are one of my all-time favorite people. What an awful experience all of this must have been and yet your post was the most hilarious thing I've read all day. I bet Patrick's joy and relief at being home will help speed along his recovery... sounds like his determination to stay out of the hospital will kick the infection. Who can blame him? Hospitals are not fun.
Anyway. Happy birthday to Patrick! Glad he's back home.
Posted by: erin | June 25, 2009 at 03:51 PM
Hot damn and Hallelujah! We are celebrating down here in the Lone Star state!
Posted by: Kathleen | June 25, 2009 at 03:53 PM
What is weird (for me, not you) was I was just thinking...hmm, Julia has not posted, I hope everything is alright. So glad to hear Patrick is home and hope he continues to get better.
Posted by: jen | June 25, 2009 at 03:56 PM
Happy Birthday, dear Patrick! So glad you could be home and we hope you can knock this thing on the head.
LOVED the doctor in the lift. Hilarious!
Posted by: Sheridan | June 25, 2009 at 03:56 PM
Oh, thank goodness. I am so relieved.
Happy Birthday Patrick!
Posted by: Leslie | June 25, 2009 at 03:58 PM
Thank God he's doing OK - we've been really worried about him!
Posted by: Doug | June 25, 2009 at 03:59 PM
Yippeees! So glad and SO relieved.
Posted by: KatS | June 25, 2009 at 04:00 PM
Oh thank goodness! I'm so glad he is MUCH BETTER! :) Happy Birthday Patrick! Seven is a wonderful age to be!
Posted by: Jen | June 25, 2009 at 04:00 PM
Julia, I just started reading your blog and have finally caught up to present. Love it!! I have been checking back about 50 times a day to see if you had updated on poor Patrick and I'm so relieved he is doing better!
Posted by: KristinM | June 25, 2009 at 04:03 PM
amazing that i can feel so 'protective' a child i have never met, will probably NEVER meet! i feel like 'family' here and you have no clue who i am.
auntie b
Posted by: beep | June 25, 2009 at 04:06 PM
Happy birthday, Patrick! Way to go, Julia, making all the necessary promises to get your brilliant and beautiful boy home for his special day. Continuing to send heathy vibes Patrick's direction.
Posted by: Michelle | June 25, 2009 at 04:08 PM
Oh thank goodness! Happy birthday, Patrick!
Posted by: Anna | June 25, 2009 at 04:08 PM
Oh, hallelujah! I've been holding my breath since your last post, and I will not comment on the fact that I seem to have something in my eye right now... I'm so glad he's home and apparently on the mend.
Happy birthday, Patrick!
Posted by: Ann | June 25, 2009 at 04:09 PM
What a relief to have him home and have him on the mend. Happy birthday Patrick! And good luck with that cake. Please post pics.
Posted by: karen | June 25, 2009 at 04:09 PM
Whichever saint is the patron of unskilled bakers... I'm praying to THAT one on your behalf.
Go say some hail Marys and bake, woman, bake!
Posted by: Crystal | June 25, 2009 at 04:10 PM
Yoo-hoo! So happy that Patrick is on the mend. He also looks better and sound better from your description. I am sure he'll be fine!
Happy Birthday, Patrick! I remember you once said 7 is not a pretty number but you have to be 7 before you get to be 8, which is 2x2x2. That's nice, isn't it? (And also the symbol for 8 is a nice symmetric symbol.)
Much love. Thinking of you all.
Posted by: tgsdmom | June 25, 2009 at 04:10 PM
Happy Birthday Patrick! I am so glad you are all at home.
Also, how freaking hilarious is he, "I am Greeeeeat!"
Posted by: Christine | June 25, 2009 at 04:12 PM