Cubed

I am having second thoughts about the Chicco chairs. Not about whether Caroline is going to break her neck if we continue to use them (with her it is not so much the table crawling that Edward does as the fact that she started standing up in the seat to dance) but whether my expectations for the chairs were in excess of reason. I keep thinking about my nephew who started escaping from his crib at some crazy early age. Fourteen months? Fifteen? My brother and his wife were afraid he would hurt himself so they ditched the crib and moved him into a toddler bed that was about an inch off the ground. Then they spent a horrible month holding the bedroom door shut while my nephew pounded on it and wept because he was no longer in bed and he wanted to come out and play. Eventually they all adjusted and it never occurred to anyone to return the crib. After all, it wasn't the crib's fault that the kid was some kind of mini MacGyver.

A few of you suggested that maybe Caroline and Edward are just past the point where they can be expected to not turn cartwheels on the dinner table. I said no no no no no no no no no and began to weep quietly but I suppose it is possible. The new Regalo seats arrived from Amazon and although they have a shoulder harness Caroline instantly shrugs herself free of it. I think if she really put her mind to it she could be completely out of these new seats too. However (loose shoulder harness notwithstanding) it would be a lot harder for her. These seats hang much lower on the table and they are more cheaply constructed (not surprising as they cost half as much as the Hippo Hanging Chair) which is actually a positive because the floppiness makes it difficult for the twins to get a foothold; imagine using a sagging director's chair to reach the highest shelf in your kitchen. In contrast the Chicco seats were very sturdy and Edward in particular used the frame to support himself while he lunged up and out. 

So I think the new seats will work for a while and now I am waffling on whether my irritation with Chicco was unfounded. Does a seat belt thing need to actually keep a kid seated or is there just a natural life cycles to these things that varies by child? Do you want to know how long Patrick slept in a crib? Until he was three. I found Caroline the other day with both feet and both hands on the crib railing, her face was pressed against the bars and her bottom was a good twelve inches off the mattress - it was a classic uneven bars move and she was very good at it. However, as soon as she gets taller and a little more creative I think she will change position to vault upwards and out she'll go. And when she does it will I call the crib company in a huff? Of course not. On the other hand, the seat has a lap restraint! Shouldn't it restrain? What do you think?

Caroline refused to nap today. She wasn't rude about it; she just went into her crib for an hour to play and then proceeded to jabber more and more loudly until she cried. When I went into get her I was met with a celebration to rival that which greeted the American liberation forces in Paris - it's hard to tell a child to go to sleep when she has been in there for almost ninety minutes and she is looking at you with her hands clasped together in exultant deliverance.

... I was just trying to come up with that classic line delivered by some journalist or (Mencken? no couldn't be) or somebody (I don't remember) who watched as the soldiers marched down the Champs Elysée in 1944 and observed, "Any GI who doesn't get laid tonight is either [I can't remember] or [I can't remember this part either.]" I was trying to get the actual quote and instead I googled my way into a BBC article from April which discussed the fact that de Gaulle wanted the first troops in Paris to be French and the British and Americans insisted they be white. But since the majority of soldiers fighting for France by 1944 were Africans this was a challenge. So they eventually located an armored division in Morocco that was 75% white and they decided this would work since they only had to substitute a quarter of the soldiers ... it is so hideous and shameful and repugnant I don't know what to say. Talk about ruining the liberation for me. I hope to god no one can ever does anything to denigrate the little ships of Dunkirk. I was talking to Patrick about the rescue at Dunkirk one day over dinner and I became so choked up that I could no longer speak. After a pause Patrick asked, "Um, were you THERE?" in a way that let me know I was embarrassing not only myself but the rest of the people at the table; namely him...

So. Caroline. No nap today. I am coming to the conclusion that we need to do something about Caroline's sleep schedule since she is currently doing a credible impression of me, circa college. We have to wake her up in the morning for breakfast otherwise she will sleep until 9:30, easy. She and Edward take a nap (usually) around 1 and we have to wake her up again at 4. This is all good and well but by bedtime she is wide awake and ready to, I dunno, tend bar or something. She will play and talk in her crib until 9 or 10 when she gets fractious. I go up and turn on some music for her and she usually drifts off by eleven. Since she has been in her crib at that point for about four hours... I've been getting letters from Amnesty International. The logical solution would be to curtail the naps but I LIKE naptime. Of course I like bedtime, too, or I would if it was just Edward. Edward is like one of those dolls who eyelids shut when they go past 45°. He still wakes up at intervals all night long but he no longer feels the need to summon me to experience this with him so I don't care. He is up for good at 8:30, takes a solid three hour nap every day and goes down like an oyster at 7:30.

All hail Edward.

Say hi, Edward.

I know I should not say this about my own child but MY GOD he is SO PRETTY.

Edward likes cars. I mean, Edward REALLY likes cars.

"Cah?" he says. "Cah cah cah?" 

He likes to ride in the car. He likes to point to other cars as we drive. He finds cars in books. He fell asleep with two little cars last night, one in each hand.

I would say that he is indulging in a boy's wheeled passion and I was about to resign myself to a childhood of Nascar pillowcases (and me a Formula One fan; does Lewis Hamilton have a line in crib bedding?) when it occurred to me that he also likes crackers. I mean he REALLY likes crackers. He likes to eat crackers and he likes to ask for crackers (Crah-cah? Crah-cah?) and he likes to point out when other people are eating crackers. So I have concluded that it is the one sound he has totally mastered and he wants to draw attention to it in much the same way I spent my time in Central America apologizing to everyone because Lo siento was the only phrase I had really nailed (yes yes I know I owe you more back story and the tale of my first marriage - I will get back to it.)

So cah cah cah. But his sister, CARoline? He calls duh-duh-doh, which I think (I am not sure) means Edward Too. 

I took Patrick to tumbling class again tonight. This was his third time (ever) and he is showing some improvement. I no longer fear he will strangle himself with his own feet when he cartwheels; I now worry that he will decapitate the kid next to him.

Patrick has many gifts. He is funny. He is cute. He is generous. He is loving. He is a shockingly good mimic. He has great small motor skills and if I ever needed anyone to get inside my toaster oven with a tiny screwdriver he's the first person I would call. And, you know, he's a card carrying genius, so that's kinda fun. At times. But! Patrick has not yet mastered the trick of coordinating his limbs and it makes things like, oh, swimming lessons or learning how to ride a bike or sixty minutes of tumbling class... well *I* am enjoying it. The look of bafflement on the face of his twenty year old instructor during stretches was worth the price of admission alone.

I feel guilty about this but the older Patrick gets the less patience I have with him. I was just talking to someone about the fact that I have boundless tolerance for the foibles of infants (you want to wake me up every twenty minutes for five months? fine) and toddler intransigence (Edward got so angry about something today that he managed to move a dining room chair by hitting and kicking the wood floor beneath it - I smiled at him and told him to let me know when he was done.) However the 5s and the 6s and now the 7s? Seem to be heavily laden with mines that explode my patience. Or maybe it's just Patrick. He talks me to death and he argues about everything and he never ever ever does something the first time I ask. Or even the second.

Tonight's dinner. The disputed item: two (2) garbanzo beans. The general rule of thumb being that you (not you, if you had come to dinner you would have been welcome to eschew anything or everything; I mean "you" = "my children") need to try everything even the stuff you have tried before and you know you don't like. A simple regulation.  A reasonable code, I think, and  one designed to encourage familiarity breeding greater familiarity. Right? Well, Patrick must've argued about those two fucking chickpeas for a solid thirty minutes. His points ranged from the fact that no matter how good they are for you the small quantity I was asking him to eat could hardly produce much in the way of benefit to the fact that he already enjoys good health and, frankly, he does not wish to be any different than he is.      

Then, literally mid-sentence, he stopped his garbanzo manifesto.

"How would you multiply three by eight?" he asked.

"How... what?"

"3x8. How do you do it?"

"I just memorized it. Fourth grade. Mrs Barbary's class. Why?"

"What if you forgot it? How would you get to 24?"

So I said I would add 8 to 8 and get 16 and then I would add 8 to 16 which means in my head I would get 14 and carry the 1 and then... 24.

Patrick looked just as baffled as the tumbling teacher.

"What good would that do you?"

So I asked how he would do it.

"Well," he said. "You multiply 3 by 2 and get 6. Then you double that so 3x4, which is 12. Double again 3x8: twenty-four!"

"Ah," I said.

Now as a good parenting story I would get to the end of this little mathematics discussion (I still think you Brits are wrong. Maths. Just sounds weird) and we would discover that Patrick had gotten so engrossed in our conversation that he had absentmindedly finished his dinner while we talked. But the truth of the matter is that as he asked me about the multiplication tables I got a little unnerved so *I* ate his damned garbanzo beans while we talked.

I am almost positive he hypnotized me. You know, like a cobra.

PS Track down that quote for me if you can.

PPS I am signing up for communist playgroup for Caroline and Edward. For those of you who haven't been around for the past five years, communist playgroup is what I call the district sponsored parenting class/pre pre preschool that meets once a week. For an hour you do circle time and play with your kid in the classroom, then you leave your child with the teacher and go meet in a conference room to participate in structured parenting discussions and eat banana bread. I did it with Patrick for several years. Once I liked my fellow parents and really enjoyed it. The other four times I wanted to use the informational handouts to self-inflict paper cuts until I passed out.

However, I think we could all use a morning activity this Fall. Caroline can do every hand gesture to every song (wheels on the bus, itsy-bitsy spider, open shut them... the Cricket's a nursery school natural) and she is dying to perform before an audience larger than me and Edward. And Edward would like a friend with whom he discuss both cars and crackers. As for me... well, how bad can it be really?

So here is the question. I am trying to decide whether I should sign up for the regular 18 months to 30 months class or the multiples class. In the latter the kids would range in age from birth to five and they would all be twins or triplets or heavenstobetsy. The parenting topics are supposedly twin+ specific.

My inclination is to go with the normal one, largely because I do not feel like a parent of twins. Is that weird? I feel like a fraud when I see stuff about twin parenting or multiples challenges. I have no idea why. But maybe there are things coming up in development that I could really use some twin specific guidance on? I think Caroline and Edward might have more fun if it is just toddlers but I am willing to accept opinions on the subject.

Comments

[Proudmary]

I had the same Chicco seats, and yes, my son and subsequent daughter did eventually shimmy their way out...so, I did what you did...told them to sit down over and over and over, and no longer trusted the chair to keep them in place. I just sort of rolled with it...no product is going to be great forever, and it sounds like the "twinks" (love that) are already well-practiced at defying confinement in any form. Sorry to hear that, by the way.

[Alexicographer]

Oh, gosh, so many questions.

Chairs: on the one hand, as I commented in your earlier post, my 2.5 y.o. sits peacefully (or not, but he does sit, it's the peacefulness that varies), unrestrained, in his Regalo. Indeed, to date he seems quite convinced he cannot get out of it without assistance, producing some rather funny requests (I am not making this up: I insist that he utter his version of "Excuse me, please." -- sounds like "SCOOZmepeaz" before I will get him down, and he insists, when I ask him which phrase he needs to use to let me know that he is ready to get down, that the correct phrase is "Peaz cookie nigh-nigh, mama, dada, thank you." Oh yes, he does. Though actually as I think about it, that sounds a little more like his version of "Excuse me, please," than I had previously realized, so perhaps I shouldn't be such a stickler). And yet ... yes, a restraint should restrain, and really, it is possible to make a harness that will, and the Chicco chairs should have one, I think.

I'm no help on the quote, but egads. And horrors, on the history of the, um, troop composition (And yet, are we surprised? Sadly, no).

Cars and crackers: Two of the first words my son learned were "hot" and "hat," which sounded identical and which he used a lot, getting very angry if you mistook one for the other. So I do think there's something to be said for them latching onto a sound and sticking with it. Actually mine still comments on words that sound alike, or similar, e.g. is a "satellite" like a "saddle?" Well, yes and no.

I'm no help on the parenting group.

On Patrick ... I wasn't much on the baby years. I'm really enjoying 2.5 and looking forward to 3 and 4 (perhaps naively). So I do think it's normal to prefer some developmental stages to others. In an ideal world, we'd probably all live in a commune and could focus our energies on the kids with whom we relate / cope best, but since we don't we're stuck dealing with whatever's going on in our homes, alone. Maybe this is an argument for you joining the multi-age multiples group (but then again, maybe not).

I was (and am) uncoordinated for a long time. I know of no cure, but it turns out that even the uncoordinated can develop coordination for specific tasks that we do over, and over, and over again. Muscle memory works! In case Patrick (or his teacher) was worried.

[Jessica]

Googling "any gi" "laid tonight" leads one to either "sissy" or "pussy" being the first thing, and it looks like Ernie Pyle probably said it.

Still working to see if there's more to the end of that quote, and which word goes in the first bit.

[bethany actually]

I'd say go with the just-toddlers class, if you don't really feel like you have twins. If you don't like that one, would you be able to switch to the multiples class?

[Jessica]

Yeah, looks like it's just the "is a sissy" version. Sometimes attributed to Andy Rooney, because he included the line in a book (giving credit to Pyle, but people are goofy).

[Julia]

I vote for just toddlers. The multiples class seems like they are trying to segregate the "special" kids from the "regular" ones. But maybe that's just me.

[mdmdt]

"Boy, any GI who doesn't get laid today is a sissy." -Ernie Pyle, quoted by Andy Rooney

http://www.pbs.org/weta/reportingamericaatwar/about/ep01_transcript.html

[Beth]

I never used baby chairs and whatnot, so, no help there. (They sat. Or didn't. In regular chairs or the floor or what have you. It didn't matter {to me, I mean} and as they grew it all fell into place {or they did, into chairs}. I should say, the boys did: my girl is anti-food, anti-furniture).

Go with the toddler group. I would imagine you'd be able to find some other sort of multiples specific parenting/social group if you really wanted one. Also? Toddler storytime at the public library? Have you tried that?

[jaybee]

how's about getting one of those little toddler-sized table and chair sets and foregoing the seat attached to the dining table? Less distance for them to fall until they're ready to sit at the big table.

[rosie_kate]

I vote for the toddler class, but then, I've never had twins...

And yeah, I think you can consider it "age-appropriate" for them to be climbing out of their chairs. No matter what. Because they're "there" now.

And thanks for the laughs (again!). I almost snorted milk out my nose at the garbanzo story!

[Shauna McGlynn]

ummm...I am still too busy trying to figure out his math formula to even THINK about the other questions. Wow!

[Laur]

OMG, I have a rather bright almost-six year old who's, shall we say, disinclined to do sports or almost anything that requires coordination. I never thought it was worth it to drag him; I obviously overlooked my own amusement needs! If you can't get Patrick to eat a coupla chick peas, how on earth did you get him to tumbling class? (Mine has a low frustration threshold -- just doesn't enjoy stuff he's not good at fairly quickly.)

[tgsdmom]

Sleep patterns? Wake Caroline earlier in the morning and don't let her nap for more than two hours. Should work. Personally, I cannot bring myself to follow this advice... If it wasn't for his daddy, young D would wake up every morning an hour later than the previous day. And fall asleep an hour later too, of course.

So, Edward and Caroline squirm out of their chairs and Patrick out of his garbanzos...

Try to encourage more independence in all the children. Edward and Caroline can eat at a low table sitting on low chairs, I think. Patrick, being a bigger brother, can get the privilege of having to taste undesired food only once a week. Let him choose which day is the variety-day.

I's not easy to handle a growing opinionated argumentative child. I know. You will probably get more reasons to be annoyed with him. I am happy to learn from your description that you also find his stubbornness amusing, at least in after-thought. I think it might be easier for both of you to sprinkle some tolerance and extended rights into the traditional dish of rules and structure.

They are all adorable. And you are right: Edward is beautiful.

[Carla Hinkle]

My five year old argues with me over every. single. thing. and says things like "but Mama, when you tell me to do X, it just makes me feel like I want to be really mad at you!" when X consists of things like (a) getting dressed, (b) brushing hair/teeth (c) getting in the tub (d) any of a million other what I consider reasonable requests. And of course the first 2, 3, 4 times I ask the response is ignoring me ... I have no idea what to do, I usually end up losing my temper about 50% of the time.

My older daughter stayed happily in her high chair w/tray removed, pulled up to the dining room table, until the younger was old enough to need it, so until about 3.5. My younger started climbing out at about 18 months. At which point I got her one of those "restaurant style" wooden chairs (you know, like you see at restaurants?) that could also pull up to the table, and I quit strapping her in, and she usually stayed in. Except when she didn't. And now that she is 2.5 she has decided even the restaurant chair is beneath her and has demanded a regular chair which she can jump up and down from with ease. I think it is a combination of younger sibling and personality type.

[Heather]

I'm picturing a white pillowcase with one giant goldfish cracker on it.

Have twins myself, and one other child. Go with the regular toddler class. Surprises me they get enough interest in an all multiples class, actually. Twins do cause extra logistical problems, but you can figure them out via google, or ask your readers! Personally, I'd guess the parents who wanted a multiples class 1) have ONLY the multiples 2) will spend a lot of time complaining how hard they are. Which they can be. But, boring to listen about...

I'd LOVE somebody to tell me how to get my kids to try more foods, without causing them an eating disorder later in life. I alternate amongst "you must eat this", "you must eat this to get dessert", and "you can try it if you want". And when I'm really cranky, "you don't have to eat it now, but you're eating it before I feed you anything else, so you might want to think about what this alfredo sauce is going to taste like for breakfast". The alternation I'm sure doesn't help.

[Angela]

I have a 7-year-old as well and, not that I'm happy to hear of your difficulty, but thank goodness it's not just me, and have you read "Your Seven Year Old: Life in a Minor Key"? That series is always helpful for explaining what's to be expected (which then might or might not help with the patience level). I for one am glad to know that "It's not fair" is a common 7-year-old's refrain even if knowing that does not help me tolerate the arguing much better!

[Anne]

I'd go with the toddler class.
Also, I think you should ask Patrick for his opinion on this topic. I am curious as to what he says.

[this sunny clime]

Too much hilarity in this post! I wish I lived with a genius so someone would exercise my brain more regularly. As for the commies, I'd probably go with the multiples group - C&E will hang out with whomever they enjoy most. Unless of course there end up being only birth-1yos and 3-5 yos and they enjoy neither. Then I'd switch to the toddler set.

[Justin]

I never liked to sleep, still don't really. The rule was I had to rest for an hour in the middle of the day, what I did while resting was my choice as long as I was quite and didn't make noise. I'm not sure when the rule was instituted, I may have been older. I think I fell asleep about half the time.
My father had a rule that we had to eat a teaspoon of the things we didn't like. Although he was lax about things most kids don't like. Also if you said yuck you'd be eating a much bigger spoonful. I hated peas as a child but they ended up being a favorite later in life.
I have to admit I have spent a very long time sitting at a table because I wouldn't eat something. Heather's comment made me laugh out loud.

[Sam]

My six month old prefers sleeping 10pm to 10am. I have woken him earlier, limited naps, prayed to gods I don't believe in to no avail. It is what it is, and I simply have decided not to care.

[Chris]

I'm sure Patrick is a lovely boy, but for Pete's sake, you are the parent. Why are you engaging in debate with him? Tell him what you expect him to do, and don't waffle. God, my parents would've sent me from the room if I dared to question a clear directive, and I would've been left to debate my moot point with my stuffed animals for the rest of the evening.

Probably the best thing that could've happened to him is your having more children, because your constant doting during his preschool years seems to have given him the opinion that he is your equal... or maybe your superior. And sometimes it comes across in your posts that maybe you think so, too.

[Anja]

My son is 18 months and has climbing as a favourite hobby. He sits in a "tripp trapp" chair from stokke (Norwegian company) and we have taken off all the restraints - it's just a high chair now. He climbs up and down hinself usually and when he stands up we sit him down again and if he won't we lift him down to the floor and the meal is over. It was ahuge pain for a while but then it passed and now it's a lot easier. The Houdini attempts come in phases, I've learned... We took off the restraints because it would be more dangerous to fall out of the chair then. Better to teach him how to climb down because then at least (well, hopefully) he won't hurt himself.

[Debbie]

Being a mom of twins. who are twins teenagers now I never went in for anything about twins or multiples. They are 2 different people. They like doing their own things and not being thought of as one person. People like to make them into one person for some reason. Go to the class that's best for you and them.

[Anja]

I meant of course that it would be more dangerous to fall out of the chair *with* the restraints in, not without them :D We don't try to make his life as dangerous as possible. He manages that on his own, apparently...

[Aunt Becky]

I thought I had found some brief respite in 8, but I think I was just high that day. My kid is still as patience challenging as ever.

[harrytimes]

We have cheap-o booster seats from Target that strap onto our kitchen chairs and do a good job of containing our 16 m/o and our 3 y/o. As an added bonus, they are super easy to clean.

I love your Patrick stories.

(oh! and do you have a Little Gym near you? my kids LOOOOVE their classes, and I like them a whole lot)

[Beth Lovell]

Hi - I've been reading your blog for a while and just love it. I tried to go back and read your Redbook posts to learn your whole story, and the archives seem to cut off half way through. Could you post "the beginnings" of the twinkles? I'd love to read the whole thing. I had a miscarriage two years ago and still struggle with the loss, it is helpful to read others stories, it brings hope. Beth

[babelbabe]

I know this is NOT what you are going to want to hear, but my almost 9yo is VERY similar to Patrick. Yesterday, after gritting my teeth all morning long, in the short course of an hour I had taken away his ice cream dessert, that day's computer time, and the promise of buying the new 39 Clues book TODAY (i.e. the instant it came out; I will go get it tomorrow). Then finally I totally lost my shit and bellowed at him that I now understand why people beat children. I have 4 kids, and Primo is more trouble than my other three combined, including the 18 month old who throws everything he can get his hands on and still routinely blows out his diapers. No advice, other than invest in a big bottle of vodka (for you, not him) and pray for school to begin soon.

[Dara]

Go with the toddler class and I second the big bottle of vodka.

I like the comment of taste-testing foods for Patrick once a week.

[Kim]

Climbing out of the crib - I would highly recommend a Crib Tent. Keeps them safe a sound in their crib - my son is almost 3 and still sleeping in his crib - wonderful!!! I plan on keeping him in it for quite awhile!
If you are using it on a crib that has uneven top rails - you may have to let the one rail "float" below the higher side using ties to secure it - even doing that it works like a charm!

[Bella]

Another mom of twins chiming in: I'd also go with the toddler group. Twin groups might be ok for that first year when you're still learning the logistics of feeding, sleeping, etc. But my kids have always been so different that I always kind of did a double-take every time others would call them "the twins."

And, yeah, good thing you had Caroline and Edward or, geeeez, Patrick would have been INTOLERABLE (silly, silly comment, Chris).

[ChrisinNY]

My MIL had 9 children and her advice was that you can't win arguments over food. So we put the little tastes on our kid's plate and she could eat or not eat. If she did not eat she was "not dessert eligible". Also, if she refused to eat what I was serving for dinner, I would not make a special meal. She got bread and butter and by age 8 had to make it herself (without insulting what I was serving). She is more adventurous eater than many but there are still a lot of things she just doesn't care for. But she is healthy and fingers crossed has no food issues. She had the same scientific bent as Patrick so we explained 1) how kids have to try something 17 or so times at least before they like it and 2) how taste buds change over time.

[Rachel]

I adore you and your writing, and did not wish to make my disagreeable opinions known on your last post. But since you ask, I did think at the time that just because the product was not appropriate for your (ADORABLE) children, did not mean that they were defective, just that the product was not right for them. The restraints didn't break, they were just outsmarted.

Sign up for the toddler class.

[Gigi]

OMG how on earth do you manage to make your kids sleep so much? My triplets (2.5yo) will wake up before 7 no matter when they went to bed and a very good day is when they nap from 1:30 to 3.
I´d second everyone who said go to the toddler class, older kids tend to be rough on toddlers and I don´t think you´d get really important info, more like share combat stories than anything since no one faces the same problems. For instance, I´ve never heard of anyone (short of Donald Duck) dealing with acrobats, where one of the boys will drop on all fours so the other one can climb on him while the girl spots him to reach something, or somewhere. I once watch in amazement how they did this to reach a windowsill that´s waist high, the girl and one boy climbed on his brother and then they pulled him until all three of them were on top!

[SarcastiCarrie]

I have a 4-year old who does "The Patrick", and I was hoping he'd grow out of it. We can call you "Julia, Crusher of Naive Mom Dreams" for now.

[Carrie]

I have far more patience with my four-year old than I do with my seven-year old so I feel your pain. I am glad to hear it is more than just me you has an a seven-year who must argue every point and never listens the first SEVERAL times!

We have "thank-you" bites, if someone is nice enough to cook something for you (especially your mother), then you must at least take a few bites to thank them and show that you appreciate it. We used to base the number on how old the child was but after the oldest reached the age of six it did seem a little cruel to make him eat that many bites of something he really did not like.

[Amanda P.]

Ohhh, I remember the bitterness with which I would approach new foods. The house rule was "if someone else makes up your plate, you have to try a bite, if you make up your plate, you have to eat everything you put on it". Yep, still bitter about some of the foods I had to try. I don't know how that will help anyone, but it's the thought that came from the great food debate above.

As for math (I agree - maths just sounds weird), my father and I still debate the best way to multiply 2 two-digit numbers (I'm with Patrick on the factor and multiply what you know route, by the way), or to add up a column of numbers. My mother thinks we're strange, but that's ok.

[Amanda]

Okay, I'm not going to help you. Because I can't. I'm 24 (and a half. No one's counting. Move along!) weeks pregnant with my first so, beh... I've got nothin'. But I DID want to tell you that OH MY GOD, you make me laugh so hard. Specifics include the mention of Caroline's chair dancing and crib gymnastics (that's going to stick with me all day) and Patrick's "Um, were you THERE?" comment and cobra hypnosis. I just can't get enough of reading you. Made my day -- thank you. (And yes, Edward IS SO PRETTY!)

[Cheryl]

With regards to the food thing, my mother was firmly of the "take it, leave it, make it yourself" school and kept things that we could make age appropriately in a place we could reach them. Sometimes this meant PB&J for a long stretch if I was feeling difficult, but we never argued about eating things in our house. She did point out that your tastes change over time using herself as an example and it did make me want to try things from time to time. Sometimes it works (I now LOVE asparagus) sometimes it doesn't (still can't stomach cottage cheese). All this to say, that I think arguing about it is pointless, but you shouldn't make yourself a short order cook either.

[Ann]

Ooo, Gigi, I shudder to think! I have twins, and I always consoled myself, in the darker moments, that having triplets would be *much* more challenging, and here you just confirmed it. Excepts that, like twins, there's also something really cool about how they cooperate, isn't there?

At two, my twins have entered the era of having each others' back. Sure, they may squabble, though they usually make up with a hug and kiss, but when faced with an outside challenge, they rally. I first noticed it when one rushed across the room to assist the other against an older kid (No hitting! Though it's kind of sweet that you're helping...) Then yesterday, in the midst of reprimanding one for playing with cat food, the other joined in, with a defiant glint in her eye, in solidarity with her brother and punishment-be-damned.

I must find a way to drive a wedge between them, and quickly.

For the record, though, they still use the Chicco seats without trouble at two years old.

[Brooke]

I also think the chairs just won't work but aren't really defective. A lap belt isn't great at keeping kids contained if they wish to get out. I think it's designed more to keep them from accidentally falling out.

We sometimes make the preschooler try food and sometimes not. There are some things that she honestly does not like (eg potatoes in any form) and it seem mean to make her eat them. I wouldn't want to have to eat mackerel and okra all the time no matter how much everyone else in the house likes that. However, if there is food that she used to like or does like but is being picky she needs to try it if she's hungry. And one needs to be polite and try all the food and eat enough as deemed by the moms to get a popsicle after dinner.

Or bigger problem is that she will eat and then ask for more, and then not eat ANY of that which I consider rude (because I had to get up) and wasteful.

[Alice]

I actually never trusted the chairs that attach to tables once the kids were walking, except in restaurants under close supervision, which is the main reason I got them. We used regular high chairs, which are good and sturdy and kept them in place (not to mention having s snap-off self-contained globs-of-food tray you could just hose off after every meal). But I don't expect you will want to invest in two new high chairs at this point. I'm just brainstorming here... do they have something like Craigslist where you live? you could get used high chairs, or even those wooden ones they have in restaurants. And maybe your handy husband could fashion some after-market should harnesses for them. I'm assuming the idea of giving up and putting them in regular chairs with just a booster seat is giving you hot flashes.

[Sara]

I vote regular toddlers for what it's worth. Not so much because of the kids, but moms of multiples that are into being moms of multiples (rather than just moms) have always struck me as a bit weird. But then again, what do I know?

On the subject of food, my mother made me "try" zucchini once/week throughout my childhood. It is still the one vegetable that I absolutely cannot stand to ingest. The very thought of it makes me kind of queasy. I do think that kids can acquire tastes by getting over unfamiliarity, but past a point, it's overkill. If they don't like it, forcing them to ingest it probably isn't going to change anything. Just my two cents.

[AnnaN]

I concur with Jessica. It was Ernie Pyle who said it to Andy Rooney, who recounted it in an ABC documentary of The War.

"Any GI who doesn't get laid tonight is a sissy."

They left in the anecdote and people complained about the use of the terms "laid" and "sissy". Oh have times changed.

I also have to, apologetically, concur with Chris. You are the parent, there should be no debate. You will not be stunting Patrick's intellectual curiousity by having hard and fast rules by which he needs to abide. Easier for you to be dogmatic now ("because I say so, that's why!") than when he becomes a teen.

(I should add - I don't think you will be destroying your child's emotional/social growth and family well-being if you don't take any advice offered via an anonymous blog commenter.)

[PC]

Mathematics is a plural noun and so it should be shortened to Maths. In the same way that Telephones would be shortened to phones.

To shorten it to phone, would change it to a singular noun and change the meaning.

[Julia]

Ah HA! PC, I accept this. Yes. Plural. Maths. OK. Consider me converted.

[AP]

My 2 year old has Caroline's sleeping issue exactly! Will sleep past nine if we let him, and from 1 to 3 or 4ish for a nap, but rolls around in his crib at night until 10ish. What has seemed to work best is waking him up consistently around 8, getting him down as early as possible for a nap, and not letting the nap go later than 3:30 or so, but sometimes he still rolls around. Lots of physical activity in the afternoon helps as well, of course.

Also, on the climbing out of the crib thing...he still sleeps in a sleep sack (basically a bag with arm holes), which limits his mobility somewhat and prevents him from swinging his leg over and getting out. The one time we put him down without it he fell out of the crib. The sack also ensures he's actually covered at night, no blanket to kick off.

Your kids are adorable and your writing is awesome...I look forward to new posts and laugh all the time. Don't let assinine comments (Chris) get to you.

[Susan]

Have you looked at the Svan chairs? They're a bit expensive (mine was a gift), but they're great for toddlers. My daughter started refusing to sit in the high chair at 18 months so we started using the Svan. The seat hight is adjustable so you can get them right up at the table. It has a lap belt, but we don't use it so I can't tell you how effective it is.

http://www.svanstore.com/svan_youth_chair.shtml

[Julia]

I keep writing and deleting my own comments. Time to step away from the computer.

I just requested the minor key book from the library. Thanks!

[Jen]

Julia, I was worried you'd be really offended by Chris' comment. I'm glad to hear you weren't...and now I'll sheepishly admit that I thought (a version) of the same thing when I read about the debate with Patrick. Not the doting or the good thing you had twins part, but the debating part. I see your point about sending Patrick to his room, I suggest you find another place to send him that isn't fun. In my house growing up, it was the laundry room. Bonus misery: there was always (always, ALWAYS) unfolded laundry in the dryer. Not only did you have to go spend whatever time my mother deemed appropriate for your crime in the laundry room where there was nothing but a washer, dryer and an ironing board, you ALSO had to fold whatever laundry was in the dryer when you were so unlucky as to find yourself in there. (I now realize, looking back, that by having 4 kids my mother NEVER folded laundry herself. She could pretty much count on someone being banished to the laundry room for 1/2 hour every day.) Anyway, my point is, you don't have to adopt that specific punishment, but I don't really get behind a lot of the lax 'taking away of priveledges' that parents do these days. Going to the laundry room SUCKED, but it wasn't being locked in a dark closet and it wasn't child abuse by any measure. What it was was a punishment. for doing something you weren't supposed to do, like talking back, not following a rule, hitting your sister, or whatever. The folding bit made it even more of a punishment, because once your alloted time was up, (convieniently, we had a timer in there) if the laundry wasn't folded, you could stay in there till it was. The laundry method of child control was surprisingly effective, and honestly I plan on using it or something similar myself when my 2 year old is old enough. For now we do 2 minute time outs in his room.