Punchline

Just when I was absolutely convinced that our pediatrician was crazy and Edward did not just have a virus and he was not going to just get better on his own... Edward got better. Thursday he was hot and damp like the tropics; Friday he was cool and grouchy like a Scottish isle. So I guess I was wrong when I chewed my bottom lip and said, "I just KNOW he has some weird bacterial infection; I just know it!" In defense of my hand-wringing and pointed referral to biotics and that which is anti, the week played out a lot like June only with the part of "Patrick" being played by a shorter but similarly featured newcomer we call Dreadward. There was the fever that was high and continued to be high. There was the lack of any other identifiable symptoms. There was the fact that no one else in the house was sick or had been sick or gave any indication that they might be getting sick. And it's not like Edward carpools to Cub scouts on Tuesday nights - it is still a mystery how he managed to be felled by a germ that bypassed the rest of the family; especially Caroline aka Licky McLikerson. But there it is. His doctor swore it was a virus and that he would be better by Friday morning and he was. Which is good because Friday afternoon we packed up the whole family and took them to spend the weekend at a waterpark.

Just typing that sentence made me laugh. I know, I know; that's some Grade A parenting right there, isn't it? But the weekend was a gift - a very generous gift - from Steve's birthmother and his one (birthhalf)sister was flying in from California to meet up with us while the other was coming up with our two (birthhalf)nieces... there was no way we could have missed this weekend if it was at all possible to get there. So we went and we had a lot of fun; even Edward. Although at times he was a bit more blue than a non-Smurf mother likes to see her non-Smurf offspring; he rallied admirably and he absolutely loved the midget slides.

"Mooooore? Mooooooore?" he would bellow, wrapping his arms and legs around me like a baby chimp and kicking his heels into my flanks in an effort to get me to canter.

I was anxious about the waterpark before we went. Second only to what might happen if I let Caroline and Edward eat unquartered grapes while bouncing on a trampoline, I worry most frequently about the twins and water. The idea of taking them to a massive, public, partially submerged playground originally struck me as absurd; but it was such a nice offer and it is so rare that the families are able to be together that I decided to suck it up. Besides, his birthmother treated us to two babysitters (one while the twins napped so we could all go on the big waterslides with Patrick; and then one on Saturday night so we could go out to eat like civilized people) and apparently my maternal angst can have the crap beaten out of it when confronted by my maternal desire to ditch my children for three hours in a row. So we all had a very nice time and with seven adults there was always someone to hold Edward or share a raft with Patrick or take Caroline on an Atlantian adventure.

-- Last night I went up to Caroline after bedtime and realized that for the past week or so she has been making a joke. You should have seen her relief when I finally got it. It goes like this:

Caroline (standing in her crib, arms up): Ah!

Me (or Steve): Bedtime.

Caroline (pointing toward the floor): Cat?

Steve (or me) (crouching to peer under her crib): What? Is there a cat in here? Is Kelvin under your bed?   

Caroline: NO!

And then she would laugh. We, naturally, thought she was making us crawl around on our hands and knees just for the hell of it but when I laughed last night and said, "Oh no, I'm not falling for that one again" she laughed so hard she fell over.

Edward favors more physical comedy. Namely, I say, "Come here so I can change your diaper" and he runs away as fast as his stocky legs can take him, laughing like a maniac. Today I was folding clothes (oh FINE. I never fold clothes. I simply cram them into drawers. but I do sort them)... so today I was sorting clothes on my bed and Edward came to get me. It was obvious I was supposed to follow him so I did. He went into the living room and around the couch and then into the kitchen and around the table and then into the laundry room. He started laughing as we walked and when we got into the laundry room Caroline leaned out from her favorite hiding place on the bench and said "Bo!" Then she and Edward DIED with how funny it was.  

Speaking of being highly amused: my last book ad was for something that looked very civilized and book-clubby; three generations of women tied by music etc. So I pointed out the book ads in that last post and adjusted my horn-rimmed spectacles and said something highbrow about how nice it is that we have been collectively recognized for being bookish. Then five seconds later I got an ad for the novel Viking Heat. Steve read the blurb and was, like, "WHAT? Navy SEAL time-travels to become a Viking whatnow? Are you kidding me?" He opined that this must be the dumbest premise for a romance novel ever. I pointed out that the Outlander series did ridiculously well and that was basically the same thing (World War II nurse and the Scottish rebellion but hey, I read it AND the sequel AND the next sequel and I think the one after that until I got to some part where they were on a river on a boat in America and... my eyes rolled back into my head.) Anyway, I mean no disrespect to either Viking Heat or the genre and if you feel like anything between a fond chuckle and a roaring laugh I invite you to check out the excerpt via the handy link. Although my taste in romance lies squarely in the Regency period (lots of dampened muslin and rules. I like rules) I can see the possible appeal of Vikings. No, really.

--  A few things, mostly about Edward:

Edward has a very deep voice. I was wondering if I had just been noting this in comparison to Caroline who essentially squeaks rather than speaks but a friend a few weeks ago mentioned it when she saw him and this weekend the subject came up again. His voice is a little raspy and a bit chesty and I suspect it is related to his previous troubles with aspirating (yes? maybe? all that stuff going down and coming up and going down again?) but it is adorable in its own way. My fantasy is to set Caroline and Edward up as an anchor team with Caroline covering the serious pieces like floods and triple homicides in her helium chipmunk voice and Edward doing the fluff pieces from the mustard museum in his serious little growl. They would rock the Saturday morning slot.

Edward likes cars, as I have mentioned, but I think he was born to ride a motorcycle. There is virtually nothing he cannot do on his pushcar and the way he makes that thing corner at top speed by kicking out one heel and pulling up on the handlebars is nothing short of genius. One of my absolute favorite moments is when I am sitting on the living room floor and Edward pulls in going backwards. The look he gives me as he pauses in the archway is pure Steve McQueen. In a word: Edward is cool. And speaking of cars Edward thinks that everything with wheels is a car, unless it is obviously a truck in which case he calls it a tractor.

Every time Edward sees an animal he waves and says, "Hiiiiii!" and then he blows a kiss. When a deer shows up in the yard he runs to get his stuffed deer so he can hold it up to the window. I have yet to figure out whether he is showing the real deer his deer or his deer the real deer. Either way it is beyond cute.

Edward is very good at looking thoughtful.

When he is very amused by something he wrinkles his nose.

Caroline likes to give Edward sneak attack kisses. He loves it.

(the first and last ones are worth a click to make them bigger. her expressions are funny and you get the full force of Edward's nose wrinkle.)

During dinner last night Patrick said "Caroline, say knock knock" and, in much the same way she would cheerfully leap off a bridge or plunge into a burning building if Patrick indicated that such actions would please him, she obliged.

"Nok nok!" she said

"Who's there?"

"Nok nok!" she repeated.

"Who's there?"

"Nok nok!" Every time she did it Patrick laughed. So she kept doing it. After fifteen minutes I considered throwing a napkin over her like you might do with a parrot.

Edward is adding more recognizable words daily (peach, again, slide) and Caroline has moved on to slang. As Edward and I read the 100 trucks book for the 10 millionth time (he likes the car transporter) Caroline sashayed over to us, "Whoah cool" she said. It is possible she wasn't being sarcastic but I dunno, there was an edge to her voice that sounded like pure junior high. When I called my mother and asked Cricket to repeat the whoah (it is a cross between wow and whoa) she said, "No way no no no" and shaking her head she picked up another phone handset and pointedly started having an imaginary conversation with someone who was neither me nor my mother. Thirteen (give or take twelve years) can be such a difficult age. 

Finally, returning to the subject of potty training, I don't mean to brag but Caroline seems to be displaying a genius in this area that borders almost upon the occult. Her ability to tell you what has just happened is unparalleled. Like when she says, "Wet! Pee!" and races for the bathroom it means that she is wet because she has just peed. Or when I take off her diaper and let her run around in the altogether she will unfailing start tugging at my knee and say, "Wet!" And sure enough it IS now wet under the dining room table. I know! It's totally spooky. Just imagine the implications. Seconds after the officials blow the whistle Caroline will be able to tell you who won the big game. Moments after a politician finishes his concession speech Caroline will be able to announce that his rival was elected. The horses will scarcely be back in the barn before Cricket's trifecta winners will be picked.

Seriously, I am trying to have faith. I believe you when you say that she has both the desire and the capacity but... could you talk me through the specifics a little? When Patrick was finally ready - oh let's just say "around three'ish" - the what and the how of potty training were evident to him; it was the why of the whole thing with which he struggled. Oh certainly I could do that, he would say, but I prefer not to do so. Caroline in bright-eyed contrast is more than willing to give it the old pre-preschool try but something seems to be losing in the translation. I keep trying to tell her that she needs to let me know before she goes but it turns out "before" is kinda an esoteric concept. Do I just keep letting her run around making puddles like a puppy? I did buy her a pair of underpants at Target (speaking of which, do they make these things any smaller than 2T/3T - the label says it fits down to 20 lbs but they must mean 20 lb children whose weight is in their spare tire because Caroline can barely keep them on, elf maiden that she is) and she just as cheerfully wets those as well. I don't know. Please help me. Oh and I SUPPOSE you can yell at me if you like (I am looking at you, late commenter) but you should know I actually don't very much like being yelled at.          

Caroline brings over books and shouts "Singing?" while thrusting both arms into the air. Not sure what the arms are about but the books she brings always have some parts that are sung (Boynton, mainly, although like with my beloved Frances books I always wonder what the songs are supposed to sound like - what do dinosaurs singing a dinosaur song really sing?) So I sing and she and Edward dance. Caroline is a great dancer. She has rhythm and she moves her shoulders and undulates her hips (over Christmas the family decided that Steve is most likely just nominally Latvian in origin and more than a touch gypsy - this is an observation that is a lot less loaded in the States than in Europe, just so you know, and also we were only partly kidding; he has a Romany look about him as does Cricket, don't you think?) Edward dances by shaking his head and picking up his feet without bending his knees. The word lumber was coined just for him.  

Finally finally a picture of Edward again because I think he is so pretty. And because he dances like a bear.

PS As always I appreciate your checking out my advertisers. Viking Heat! Rwoar.

PPS I have an essay in October's REDBOOK which should be hitting newsstands right... about... now. I'm thrilled to be all national and public even if the piece is about my loserish inability to make friends for, like, a decade.

PPS I am truly sorry it took so long to update.

PPPS Huh, my ad expired. Nevermind. Next time!

Comments

[Kelli]

So, so glad Edward is better! Much relieved on this end. We've been in school for 4 weeks now, so I'm waiting for my munchkins to start with the runny nose/ear infection/ stomach bug mess. So far so good, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

You have beautiful kids, and I love the stories of how well they get along. My 3 year old son loves and kisses and sings to his sister all the time. Her 8 month old self would think he walked on water if she had any idea what that meant. I'm bracing myself for fights as she gets older and gets in to his toys, but your stories give me hope that they may continue to be good friends and outlive minor squabbles.

[Shawna]

Glad to hear everyone's on the mend. Also, having just today booked our vacation at a place with a water park, I'm glad to hear that they won't mean instant death to our by-then-18-month-old.

[Pam L]

omg, what an apt title for your post. I am sitting here alone in the house laughing out loud for the jokes!, which i suppose is a good thing, being alone.I wonder what the planning process is for the one where Edward led you all through the house so Caroline could jump out and say "BO! in the laundry room. What was that conversation like, or do they just do it intuitively like with mind meld, or lots of pointing??? The "cat" joke could have been serendipity where she actually saw the cat, or wanted the cat one night and saw your reaction, but the fact that she repeated it until you GOT it...genious! Too funny. You are in for some hilarious goings on there. No help on the potty thing. Personally I would not like cleaning up the puddles so maybe would just stick with the diapers until she can figure it out ahead of time. It's a tricky thing. They live so much in the moment that to stop the fun to realize that is hard. That's why my boys were both 3 & 1/2 before they figured it out, they didn't want to stop what they were doing to deal with it. They didn't care. Once their older playmates started down that road, then they got with the program, both just in time for me to sign them up for the fall session of pre-school, which I did like the next day, 7 years apart.

[K]

Oh! You put down the Diana Gabaldon books just exactly where I did!

I thought, "I have totally bought that this woman time-traveled through Stonehenge. I have totally bought that upon doing so, she ran into another woman who'd done likewise and recognized her by her smallpox vaccination scar. I have totally bought that this other woman was an evil witch practicing blood sacrifice in order to further . . . something I forget. I have totally bought that the World War II nurse's former husband has sort of accepted this wacky premise rather than committing his seemingly crazy wife to an institution. I have totally bought an awful lot of nonsense and an even more awful lot of Scottish burr-inflected dialogue. But I'm not buying that you're in America now. On a riverboat. DONE."

[sinda]

Thank you for all the pictures and relaying of adorbale antics - I crave them.

Toileting - you did ask - in our school, and therefore in our home, was as follows:

At around 15-18 months the children start wearing training pants - cloth, not pull-ups - and when they soil them, we note this (Caroline has this down!) and help them clean up and change. Note that we help them, they don't help us - they do as much of the work as they can, which is pretty substantial. This could include cleaning a wet spot, wiping down wet legs, whatever is needed. They also get their own clean dry clothing and put it on to the best of their ability, with us helping as needed.

The children make the connection pretty quickly between their bodily functions and their comfort, and your work is to cheerfully point that out, not to get annoyed, do lots of laundry, and be confident that it will all pay off sooner than you think.

As long as you don't mind extra laundry, you're all set!

[Aunt Becky]

Now for some reason, I'm in the mood to have lusty sex in a boat or a canoe and there's that joke about American beer and having sex in a canoe and...

*scratches head*

I can't remember.

[Melanieh]

As someone who rushed out and bought the newest Outlander book this morning (on the day it came out, in hardcover), I'm having trouble understanding why the riverboat in America was the problem . . .

But then, I'm not quite sane where these books are concerned.

[S]

Mercy those are some adorable children. and funny, too :)
I love your blog btw!

[QoB]

just, y'know, FYI... the newest Outlander book is just out. And I can't read it yet because I'm in Ireland. And... it gets good in America. Honestly. Just skip the book where they're in Jamaica/on the river/whatever. I read them all out of sequence anyway. Read it vicariously for me.

[Karen]

If you really want to know what a Boynton song sounds like, check out her music/book combos, they are awesome. You can start with Philadelphia Chickens http://www.amazon.com/Philadelphia-Chickens-Sandra-Boynton/dp/0761126368/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253648441&sr=1-5 and go from there.

I didn't get these until my youngest was 5, and it was a great help with learning to read, but some of the musically inclined in your family might really dig this now.

...And on Cricket's interest in toilet training? eh. If you have the time, she's got the pee to make your day full of clean-ups. I think you hit the nail on the head with your comment that her understanding of "before" is somewhat ... not there yet. I know people who've worked with this, and were successful at teaching their kids to use the toilet, but it did take a lot of effort. Whereas waiting would mean that you'll continue to buy diapers and put them on her, and then when you're ALL ready, she'll be done in a snap.

[Erin]

On my parents first date, my dad told my mom she danced like a bear. Then he threw up on her.

[haitian american family of three]

Well, I have no advice for potty training because we are in potty training rebellion over here, tried for a few weeks with no success and a lot of crying, along with puddles everywhere. Very exciting about getting in a big magazine!

[Karly]

I just took a break from the newest Outlander book (out today!) to check out what was happening on the internet!

Your kids are adorable. Glad Edward is feeling better!

[MsCellania]

Well HELL YES you beat a hot path to the 7-babysitters-3-kids vacation! You are not an idjit.
That potty flirtation your darling Cricket is having is garnering her alot of attention. Hmmmmmm...
Have you tried Hannah Andersson trainers? They might be small enough. Nice and think, easily pulled down.
Do you have all hard surface flooring? If not, you might consider tossing up the savings in diapers for another year plus v. the cost of putting in all hard flooring and just letting the twinkles run around diaperless. Why yes, that IS 3rd world (OOPS I mean 'developing nations') toilet training. Works great.
(All this sage assvice from the woman who let her youngest lurk in didies 'til he was four and a half. Hey--he is on the ever-exciting autism spectrum. And I'm LAAAAAAAZY. He trained himself in one day. Never had an accident since.)

[mama without instructions]

When my daughter was that age and really interested in the potty we had her sit on the potty seat and read books to her. It wasn't a forced thing at all. She loved it and was really patient. When she would finally pee in the potty she was SO happy. There were a few puddles on the floor but not for too long. It really took only a few days to figure it out. Personally I would give it a week and a half or so and if she's not making any progress then try again later. This assumes she is interested and excited about the whole deal.

Hanna Andersson (which I see is int he Mall of America, http://www.hannaandersson.com/) has really well made and very petite under ware. They were a perfect fit for my wee girl at 20 months.

[Colleen C]

My greatest success with potty training my daughter was letting her go naked - waist down. If she had anything on(pants, underpants diaper), she would pee in it. But once there was nothing to "catch" it, she started using the potty. I also carried the potty around from room to room, so
I guess She didn't like the way it felt running down her legs!

[TeacherMommy]

Edward is starting to look suspiciously like Patrick. I suspect some genetic similarities there.

Thank you for making me laugh on a day when stupid drama is making it a little tougher to find the humor in life.

[Krys]

You are one incredible writer.
I had to pass this one along to my sisters to read!
Keep it up!

[Kristin]

Your children are gorgeous and you are in soooooo much trouble if Caroline and Edward are already working together to play jokes on you.

[Elizabeth]

It seems that no matter when you start potty training, you'll be done when the child is about three. Or older, of course, depending on the individual.

My oldest child was very interested in the potty at a young age. Our deal was that she was allowed to run around naked or wear "big girl underpants" any time she was at home playing outside. If she was inside, she could leave off her diaper so long as she sat on the potty and pee'd about every 45 minutes, because I knew that was how small her bladder was. If she didn't want to sit on the potty, no problem -- but then she had to have a diaper on because I'm not patient enough to clean up that many puddles.

The result was that she was daytime trained long before she was two, BUT when we were out and about and she said she needed to use the toilet, she meant NOW, which isn't terribly convenient. She was dry day and night with a reasonable ability to hold it until we found a toilet when she was three.

Our youngest had no particular interest in getting out of diapers. When she was three, she decided that big girls use the potty, and so she did.

I think they just don't have the nerve development or the bladder size to be really and truly toilet trained until they are three. However, if a child like Caroline is interested, there's certainly no harm.

[Allison]

Edward is pretty, and Caroline has future stunner written all over her face. I do not have children, but I work in an environment where I often have to help potty train developmentally disabled kids. My best advice is to think about how often/when she tends to wet and take her to the bathroom and have her sit on the potty on a schedule that fits her "natural schedule". If she happens to pee in the potty, big praise and a little treat! If she has an accident, don't make a big deal out of it.

[ailo]

This entry had me cracking up - thank you!

However, where are pictures of kids in the water??

[samantha hadley]

Okay, I know you deleted a comment about Caroline looking like Susan Boyle, but I totally see it - BUT BUT BUT that's SO CUTE! Like, if Susan Boyle was a baby toddler, she'd be adorable! It's just as an old(er) woman that her look doesn't work! I seriously think Cricket is going to be GORGEOUS (is currently gorgeous)!

[mirandola]

firefox doesn't let me see your advert...

[Allison]

Oh, and just in case it can be misinterpreted, I am not comparing your kids to developmentally disabled kids! Just that the attention span and level of reinforcement necessary might be similar! Your kids are so darn smart it'd probably take much less time!

[Monica C.]

This is funny:

"and apparently my maternal angst can have the crap beaten out of it when confronted by my maternal desire to ditch my children for three hours in a row."

It is amazing how much Edward looks like Patrick and both of them look just like you! Neither of my girls look "just like me," so I don't know what that feels like. :(

And Caroline does look just like her dad! Romanian? I can see that.

You take Caroline's diaper off, set a timer to go off every 30 minutes, and when the bell rings, put her on the potty. If she goes in the potty (have her sit for a minute or two), do the happy potty dance and make lots of goofy faces and funny noises. You spend a Saturday and Sunday trapped indoors doing this, and by Monday, she'll be potty trained (and you'll be thinking, "How did I go from Sexy and Seventeen to this?"). Happened with both of my girls (once they showed a readiness/inclination to use the potty).

[rosie_kate]

I always get such a great laugh when I come here!

I guessing (roundly) that if you spent a day or two eating salty snacks and and drinking lots of drinks with Caroline and running to the potty every 20 min., she'd have it down pat. Once she actually goes in the potty, and you make a big deal out of it, she'll want to keep doing it. And when she has an accident, just say "Oh, dear... Pee goes in the potty! Not on the floor! Icky!" and hand her a rag to wipe up. She's a pretty smart kid! (And Edward is so stinking adorable. I want them both to come visit me...)

[Helen]

Not sure if anyone suggested this yet, but I started toilet training my son by putting him on the potty every 1.5 to 2 hours or so. I forgot what the interval it is, but I think that might be about right for kids that are young and starting out like Caroline. The goal is to get her used to using the potty if she has to when she's sitting on it. He's two now, and I try to put him on the toilet (seat insert) every 3 (no longer than 4) hours. He doesn't tell me often when he has to go, probably because I'm always making sure he goes. So for what it's worth... not sure if it's the ideal approach or not. Anyway, this is the put the kid on the potty at intervals and somehow encourage them to use it at the time before having an accident approach. Some suggest making a noise to cue them, like... sssss, or maybe simply saying pee, since Caroline sounds super smart... :)

[Betty M]

Whether you perserve with the potty thing now depends on your tolerance for cleaning up pee. Mine was low so I waited longer and lo it happened very fast without any accidents. There isn't much point unless you keep directing them to the potty at regular intervals if they can't work out the before I am desperate state.

I can see the Roma thing too in the dark hair and eyes. But if you said Spanish I'd have probably seen that as well.

[wavybrains]

We started potty training my 23 month old 2 months ago. I started putting her on the potty every morning when she woke up, and we would read a few books. Pretty often she went and I gave her a sticker (insert whatever prize floats your boat here--T coveted stickers that looked just like our dog and she only got them at potty time). Then after a week or so, I added putting her on after naptimes, and we talked about potty a lot. Then we would put her on at bed time. By this point, she had had a fair number of successes in the potty and was telling us whenever she so much as sprinkled her diaper, so I figured she was ready for stage #2: operation underpants. I picked a 3 day weekend when we didn't have much going on, and I spent the whole week beforehand talking about how we were going to be ALL DONE with diapers on Friday. We went shopping and got 20 odd pairs of tiny girl panties (she picked) (also, still cheaper than a pack of diapers), and we spent that weekend with a lot of time on the potty, lots of reading, and stories. The first day we had like 5 accidents I think, the second day not so many, day 3 had her dry all day and then 5 accidents between 6 and 8 pm, and after that, it just got a lot easier. It's been about 6 weeks since "All Done Diaper" Friday, and we are down to maybe 3-4 accidents a week, and she wears her big girl panties all day (regardless of how many accidents she has--I think this is key to not regress backwards) and we do a night-time diaper, but I'm hoping to wean off that pretty soon. If she's ready, she's ready! Go for it!

[victoria]

Your children are insansely beautiful and charming.

You know, your blog is so very different from many of those written by other mothers of very young children: there's so little resentment in your writing. You pretty much never complain about anything your kids do, except occasionally you mention that Patrick's know-it-all tendency can be annoying. But for the most part, your kids don't seem to have tantrums or strong tendencies to do things that would injure them, destroy something valuable, or make you crazy angry.

I think of Linda at sundrymourning. She writes honestly about how much she loves her children, but they EXHAUST her physically and emotionally. She works, and has made training and toning her body a serious life project, and the pictures of her doing a triathalon show that she has succeeded in getting a hard body, and that exercise has brought tremendous joy into her life.

But the kids demand huge amounts of her time, and stress her out, and make it difficult for her to train. They scream when she leaves for the gym, or refuse to go to bed on time and delay her evening exercise.

There's this huge tension in her life between what she wants to do for herself, and what her kids need from her. It's extremely stressful and demanding, even though she cherishes her children.

When I read Linda, I'm glad I didn't have kids, but when I read your blog, your children are so perfect and funny and brilliant, clever, joyous, graceful, pretty much flawless. And there seems to be no conflict between what you want to accomplish and what your kids need from you. Your blog is blissful.

The contrast between you & Linda is sort of like the ocntrast between Heather Armstrong's first and second experiences with parenting a newborn. When she had Leta, the first months parenting this difficult,irritable, demanding baby were an anguished nightmare; but now that she has Marlo, the cheerful, mellow baby, she is totally blissed out.

Having kids is scary: you don't what you're going to get. You don't know who's going to come out of your body, and you don't know how you'll connect with this little stranger. It could make your life wonderful or horrible -- you just don't know.

[Lori]

Because I was intrigued the idea of Viking plus navy seal, I did click through -- it was so crazy/potentially funny. I don't even read romances! But it sounded odd enougth that I need to find out more! I read the excerpt -- I expected to find some heat, as per the title, or at least the moment where the viking meets the navy seal. I was disappointed. Don't tell me that I am the only person who clicked through! (hides face in shame.)

[Joanne]

In the last photo of Edward, he looks so much like you in the photo of you and Patrick (recently). They're all adorable. And it's great that Patrick is entertained by the twins, and that he wants to interact with them. Despite the knock-knock jokes :)

[sueinithaca]

well, you should make the Outlander series buy an ad, because now I'm going to go find it...

How do you feel about Sesame Street? When my daughter potty-trained at 17 months - not my idea - what worked was to sit her down on the potty in front of Sesame Street for an hour. I'd prime her with a big sippy cup of milk before-hand. Sure enough, she'd go. Then I'd have a party. Then she got hooked on the praise and wanted to go toher times. And actually started to figure those out. Do you have free range toilets? I found that to be very important. A potty for every room, I say!

Now, I suspect there is a key difference between my experience potty-training my daughter and yours. At the time, she was an only child. I was not pregnant. I was not working. I could stay around the house, bake muffins, and cheer for tinkles all the livelong day. The fact that my second is a boy is not the only reason potty training went differently the second time 'round.

[karyn]

Well, I was going to tell you that the newest Outlander book was out today, but everyone seems to have beaten me to the punch.

Instead I will tell you my favourite knock-knock joke, for you to pass along to Patrick.

Knock Knock
-Who's There?
Interrupting cow.
-Interu--MOO!!!!

Why, yes. Yes, I do have small children.

[Carla Hinkle]

I am going to send you the 3 Day Potty Training ebook I used for my 2 girls. Potty trained both at 25 months.

Here's my take on potty training, and it is exacty as you identified: you sort of need to pick your poison. A young toddler is perfectly happy to try, and get into the whole process, but isn't so great with the no-accidents things. A 3+ year old is perfectly capable, but may or may not feel like doing it. If you have one of those 3 year olds who magically trains themselves one day, hooray! But I had loooooots of friends with 3 year olds who were more of Patrick's "but why should I?" school of thought. The idea of fighting that battle was more than I could take, so I decided to go with the cheerful, but somewhat unreliable, 2 year olds. And really, we were done waaaay before 3 (despite what some people tell you, it is possible).

Anyway, I will send you the ebook I used and if you decide to go for it, it is great.

[Ruth]

Ah, the dinosaurs singing their dinosaur song. I was sight-reading the music, until my youngest son decided that I must be wrong and took the book over to the piano to check. I was off on one note, but by then my version of the music was so ingrained in my mind that I cannot change it, no matter how hard I try. (So I stopped trying.)

I'm so glad Edward is feeling better. My Caroline has the same stuffed deer; she calls hers "Ga-Ga" (her word for "hug").

[m]

I had a hard time trying to understand why I hated you so much--now I know why. Not only is your life perfect, but you love to flaunt it.

[Crystal]

Oh, Julia,

Look, nobody likes to be yelled at, and with good reason. M was being particularly mean-spirited, but can you blame her? We all know your life is far from perfect, and those of us who read between the lines know life is kind of kicking you around the block right now. But surely you can put yourself in her place, and see where she's coming from, right (although perhaps M might realize reading Julia's blog could be somewhat painful for her right now and read blogs that are more supportive of where she is in her life, just sayin')?

I dunno... maybe it's just that the brain damage dispersed any reason or common sense I have, or the fact that the last several years of our lives have been a hell most can't even fathom, but I'd tend to feel pretty bad for someone hurting as bad as M obviously is. I think I might even extend a little more compassion, and a little less judgement. And then retreat to my circle of friends and remember how blessed I really am.

It's like listening to that "Whatever" show on Sirrius. They have an entire radio show devoted to picking on people, but get all offended when people pick on them. Well, what do they expect? What goes around, comes around, which is probably the best excuse for forgiveness, compassion, and understanding I can come up with. Someone has to be the bigger person and end the battle, end the divide, whether it's politics, wars, or relationships.

Hells bells... maybe it's time to swallow some of my own medicine, and tell you I hope things look up soon, and buck up, because you are a fine woman, loved by a fine man, with fine children. Whatever curve balls may come your way, those are the things that really matter, and just as you've done in the past, you'll survive, and it will all be okay. And maybe some of the things that hurt might just slide off your back....

That is the essence of life's journey, no? To learn to put back a little more than we take. You're headed in the right direction. Ignore those who's pain causes them to lash out, and keep walking.

[Jill]

Gosh, they are cute kids.

Re: potty training. Use the word "before" as often as you can to help them get the concept. "We put on socks before shoes." "We wash our hands before we dry them." It helped a lot here.

[winecat]

Wow, I had a comment all ready to go but then read M's comment. M way to be hurtful. Clearly you are a newcomer to Julia's blog because her life has been far from fun and games- read her archives.

She has a beautiful family that she worked very hard to get and deserves to flaunt it.

I'm very sorry to hear about Jessica but perhaps you need to learn a little about compassion.

[paulared]

Crystal, I can't for the life of me fathom what you're responding to. Wwwwwhat are you talking about?

[andrea]

So much to comment on, but will focus on your questions re: potty. Everyone is different, obviously, but we tried a version of EC and our daughter was regularly going on the toilet by the age of 2 (with some accidents - usually when she is really involved in something). The key in our situation was to determine her general "schedule" for the day. Getting her on the potty at regular intervals (e.g. first thing in the morning) and giving her an audible signal to pee (literally the psssss sound) was her indication to go. We just kept plugging away at it and tried to be pretty open about it (if she really wanted a diaper on, that was OK). She still uses a diaper at naptime (dry) and night (occasionally dry), but it has been just a regular part of our day and hasn't been stressful at all. I would definitely go this route again.

[Alexicographer]

So glad to see you back and that Edward is better. And waterpark (with babysitters) -- woo hoo!

Thanks for posting the potty question; I am no help, but am eagerly reading the comments in hopes something in there will prove useful for my household!

[Kara]

1. Caroline does look a little like the Romas I saw in Hungary--I'd buy it. She's 100% adorable, by the way.
2. I love how Edward is all prep school in his light-blue-with-embroidered-sailboat and Caroline is all dirty hippy in her tie-dye. Hah. Pretty much goes along with their emerging personalities as you describe them (Edward with his books and observing from a small distance, Caroline all free-spirited, singing and dancing about). Love it.
3. I was cracking up when I saw that Viking whatever sexy ad. . .the irony of the timing was not lost on me either. Awesome.

[Corinne]

My cheeks actually FLUSHED when you mentioned Outlander, because I thought for an instant that you were going to (perhaps justifiably) mock the series. And I love those books so much, for no reason that I can determine. However, I am drawing a line - Viking Heat will have to make or break without me.

[Pam L]

obviously m and winecat know each other, and crystal was trying to help but it got all convoluted and, well, most of us don't have a clue, I'm guessing.

[Gwynn]

So glad that Edward is feeling better! Sick kiddos suck.

Cars, tractors, waving to all of god's creatures, dancing like Frankenstein (or you just said lumbering,right? Sorry didn't mean to offend.) I do believe that our sons are cut from the same cloth!

My husband and I have giggled over the Patrick stories for years and now love reading about all the kids. Thanks so much for sharing!

[Shannon]

I know nothing of potty training or child-rearin' in general, but from my one class on voice, I would say you are probably on the right track with Edward's voice. Reflux and other things going the wrong way through vocal folds can certainly impact the voice. If it's ever a concern, or if you ever have a speech-language eval for some odd reason, be sure to mention it!

[Crystal]

There was a link in M's post. Obviously winecat read it.

BTW, winecat was chastising M.... not cheering her on. Just sayin'.