Funny Scary Rock Moved

Back when Caroline and Edward were wildly interested in the Itsy Bitsy Spider and the Wheels on the Bus I tried to make up choreography for Boynton's Oh Me Oh My Oh Dinosaurs. For those of you who are unfamiliar, the book goes "Dinosaurs happy, Dinosaurs sad" so I would first grin and then look sorrowful. It continues until it reaches "Dinosaurs Cute; Dinosaurs not." For cute I pressed my index finger into my cheek, making a dimple. You know "cute." Caroline has since forgotten all about it but Edward for some reason instantly committed my nonsense to memory and every time the book resurfaces he is standing there waving his hands in the air (Dinosaurs big) and pinching his fingers together (Dinosaurs tiny) and when we get to Dinosaurs cute he firmly sticks his middle finger into his ear and wiggles it around.

Steve witnessed this performance today and asked me, "Is that ear thing supposed to be cute?"

I said, "It's adorable."

Steve said, "Isn't he going to puncture an ear drum?"

"With those fat fingers? No way."

I continued reading and Steve stared at Edward. "Does he just keep doing it?"

And I said, "Of course not" and got to the part where dinosaurs are looking right at YOU to say goodbye.

Edward unplugged his ear and waved at Steve. "BYE BYE!" he shouted. "BYE BYE!"

I consider myself the Bob Fosse of the board book set.

+

Speaking of Edward, I was carrying him toward the stairs the other night and he became increasingly agitated.

"Down," he said. "DOWN!"

And I said, "Oh no we are going UP. UP to bed! UP UP UP!"

So he repeated DOWN and I repeated UP and just as I turned to mount the staircase he had an inspired flash: "Feet?" he said very carefully and touched his foot.

"Oh," I said, "do you want to walk up the stairs yourself?"

"Yea-s!" he said, visibly relieved.

So I put him down and he walked up the stairs. It reminded me of an old Erma Bombeck story in which she took her family to a rented villa in Spain but among them they only had about eight words of Spanish.

"My son will be coming with the verbs," she kept telling the locals. They would nod and smile and have absolutely no idea what she was talking about. Edward could use some verbs but in the meantime he is a whiz with his nouns.

+

Caroline, meanwhile, has launched into sentences.

"Touch it?"
"I'm dancing!"
"Shall we sing?" I love that. "Shall we?" It feels so Hodgson Burnett 
"Sticky? Me? Up? Touch it sticky me up taste it too?" meaning, of course: let me at the bread dough.
 "Get remote we watch racing?" I told you before that I like Formula One. Caroline ADORES it. I'm sorry but it's exciting and although I know the American Academy of Pediatrics specifically advised against children under the age of two watching television I am pretty sure they were referring to stock cars.  

This morning she dropped her sippy cup over the gate that keeps her and Edward out of Patrick's Lego-filled space. Patrick said, "I'll get it for you" and he did. When he handed it to her she said, "Sank you."

Patrick gasped and said, "Wasn't that the CUTEST THING? Quick! Call Nana!"

+

If you entered my house right now you would notice:

1. when cinnamon swirl bread is baking it smells like all of the angels of heaven are making muffins in your kitchen  (I'll put the recipe up at Scrambled)

2. it is really fucking cold in here (61 degrees Farenheit last I checked - I am trying to see how long we can go without turning the heat on. I have never figured out how people put blankets over kids in cribs. I mean, I understand how they do it; I just don't understand how the kids stay warm when two seconds later s/he stands up/rolls/scoots/wiggles/moves to the other side of the crib. Patrick used to rotate all night long like hands on a clock. So I am a big fan of wearable blankets and an even bigger fan of the ones made by Grobag, which are quilted and warm and cute and snap at the shoulders. I inherited one from my British friend when the twins were little and managed to track down ever larger sizes in the US through a site called Keen Distributing. In thanks for my patronage they send me annoying emails about their footwear but anyway. How do you keep little kids warm when the house is chilly?)

3. we no longer have any dining room chairs

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

When I was lamenting the Chicco seats (I was completely wrong about that by the way. It wasn't the seats; it was my children - however for what it is worth the Regalo hanging seats are cheaper and by crossing the shoulder harness straps behind their backs before passing them over the shoulders we have been able to continue keeping even Caroline seated) someone left a comment saying she was amazed the twinkles hadn't started climbing onto the dining room table via the chairs anyway. And some minor Fate heard that and said, "Wait, what? The Hippotwinks haven't started running around on the table yet? They've never even touched the hanging light? That can't be right."

So Caroline made it her daily mission to spend as much time on the table as possible and I got really really tired of hauling her down again (she is short so she had to kick her feet as she climbed up, shoving the chair back as she did so and making it very difficult for her to get back down again) and I finally said oh to hell with this and lugged all the chairs onto the porch. We carry them back in for dinner. For lunch we lean against walls and pretend we are in the middle of a well-attended cocktail party. Steve said, "This is really annoying." I said, "Do you have a better idea?" He said, "No."

+

Edward started to throw a tantrum.

A millisecond later he forgot what the trouble was.

Edward's funny. On the one hand he has a tendency to flare his nostrils and get very upset about things really, really quickly. Like his brother before him he will make sure that the ground is carpeted and clear of any toys before he throws himself down upon it in a rage, but he'll do it. On the other hand, he is a very even-keeled little person. We went to a birthday party for Noelle's husband Ted Friday night and we brought the twins, guacamole and baby jail in an effort to limit collateral damage. Edward sat on the couch, read books and played with trains. Caroline climbed on the table and then climbed on the table and then she gave Ted's grandma a very nice hug and a kiss and then she climbed on the table and tried to eat a taco the size of her head. Then she and Edward discovered the piano.

Edward is playing I-vi-IV-V. Caroline is taking the top. I mean the bottom.

I don't think Caroline even knows what a tantrum is. She has two moods: ebullient and tired. When she wants something that Edward has she will circle him with something else and then try the Indiana Jones switcheroo - you know, when Monsieur Jones put the bag of sand in the place of the golden idol? Caroline will put a piece... something... into Edward's empty hand and snatch the toy/book/cup he is holding in the other. It works out pretty much the same way as it did in the movie - arrows shoot from walls and huge boulders tumble down and Edward opens his rosebud mouth and ShRiEkS.

+

My very first job was in a restaurant as the dessert bar tender. I was 16 and a dessert bar was a semi-circular counter where people could come and ogle the cakes and the Napoleons. It had a gigantic brass cappuccino machine and I learned to make an excellent cappuccino provided I have access to a gigantic brass cappuccino machine. It is, as you can imagine, not that useful of a skill. They used to keep liqueurs behind the counter, too, but in the first few months of my employ I drank them all and they sensibly decided to keep them at the service bar after that. All night long I cut neat slices of cheesecake (now that is a useful skill - you need very hot water and a very clean knife) and fielded hilarious questions from guests like "these are all low-calorie, right?" (tee hee hee - oh YOU!) and "are you on the menu?" (tee hee hee - oh YOU!) I eventually moved on to hostess and then busboy and then waitress. The first table I ever had was two businessmen out for lunch. At the end of the meal I left the check and when I came back to pick it up I panicked and rather than the suave "Will there be anything else?" that I intended; I squealed, "WILL YOU NEED ANY CHANGE?" with a horrible grimace. I will never forget how startled that guy looked as he said, "Uh no that's ok, keep it" and I blushed as I pocketed the $3.14. I continued to wait tables through college and then afterward when my English degree failed to get me interviewed anywhere. I finally got hired as a receptionist by a very small company in Chicago where my boyfriend soon to be fiance soon to be husband soon to be ex-husband now bizarre footnote in my personal history worked. I liked that job. When I wasn't answering the phone I read the entire collected works of Trollope and Eliot. However, it was not a particularly fulfilling position and although they were required by law to pay me they certainly did not pay me very much. I got a different job with that company and then another and then I became a buyer for a grocery chain which sounds like more of a leap than it was. That job was ok but I always had more work to do than I could ever get finished so I would spend twelve hours at the office, come home and cry and go to sleep, wake up and throw up and then go back to work again. I moved to Minnesota because I got a job in manufacturing (HO HO HO) and I went into marketing and it was very pleasant. In fact, I had the opposite problem in that job, which was I had hard time finding enough things to do to fill my days. I became quietly notorious for the quantity of paper cut-outs that slowly began to fill my cube. You know, where you fold a sheet of paper like an accordion and then make a string of dolls holding hands? One day I cut a chain of small islands with palm trees on them (you did not know I was a paper cutting master, did you?) and left them on the keyboard belonging to my boss. He sent me an email thanking me for the thoughtful gift and asking how much they paid me, again? I loved him but the job not so much. What I always wanted to do (what I still want to do, frankly) is be a buyer for Target. I would be great at that.

Where was I? Oh I never told you where I was going, so how would you know?

My point is that I have been working for over twenty years but for the first time in my life I am doing something for money that I really and truly love. I am researching and writing two freelance articles right now (hence the bloggy silence) and I have never been so excited about work, like, ever. I love thinking about what to pitch and I love listening to stories and I love getting to retell them and trying to frame them into some larger narrative. I LOVE it and many thanks to all of you who responded to my request for interviews in the past month. I really appreciate it.

I'll end with a question because (see above) I like hearing stories (this is a segue; it has nothing to do with an article): what was your first job and/or do you love what are doing now? 

Comments

[Liz]

My first real job, aka got paid with a check, was a waitress at a Japanese restaurant. Also the starting point of my love affair with sushi. :)

[Kelli]

My first job was washing lab equipment at my friend's dad's biochem lab at the local university. He was a professor there. If I ever have cancer, this place will probably be the start of why. It was a research lab with biohazard signs around. It is one of my most fondly remembered jobs ever. It was the dad and his college students all involved in their own research projects, one of whom was a 30+ year old Indian man (from India, not Native American) who thought it was his job to 'educate' the younglings who worked there - nothing gross, just dirty jokes and his views on the world. He was mostly deaf and had a thick accent so there were lots of misunderstood conversations. We'd have dinner parties where there was ethnic cuisine from around the world (my first taste of Indian food was completely unforgettable), classical music in the background and sophisticated political discussions (or at least so it seemed to my 16 year old niavete). My friend's dad also owned a boat, so a few times during the summer he'd take us to a lake and going water skiing. Why did I ever leave?

[Stephanie]

My first job was labeling blood collection tubes for my mum's work (she was a nurse for clinical studies) when I was 16 - she would bring them home for me to do. The labels were too big for the tubes, so I had to match the two sticky ends EXACTLY together so that they didn't stick to any neighbouring tubes. It was very tedious so I did in front of afternoon sopa operas on the TV.

And now, 24 years later, I work in clinical research science myself and love it!

[KarenT]

My first job was as a short-order cook at pool-side, at the local country club, of which we were not members. I enjoyed it (free food.) From there I moved onto waitress, then chemist. Since 1991, I have been in private practice as a general surgeon. I enjoy some aspects of the job, and hate others (the stress, the call). I have two children, age 7 1/2 and 4, and they hate my job. My first child was very aware from birth, and was less than 6 months old the first time she cried when the beeper went off, because she knew even at that age that it might mean I would leave. I would prefer to have my husband's job, which is stay-at-home parent, but unfortunately that will never happen. (A former general surgeon, he burned out and quit the year before I became pregnant with our first child. He has never developed ay alternative career plans, and to be honest, I cannot envision any other career for myself.)

[Jen]

My first job was as a swim instructor at a local YMCA at age 16. For some reason, (and I'm CERTAIN this is not the case now)I barely had to do any training AT ALL to get this job, besides the certification to be a lifeguard that I got at that same Y. To this day I'm amazed they let me teach swimming lessons because I made it all up. I was in the pool with four three year olds being like "um, paddle your arms like this!". Eventually I figured out some techniques that actually worked (or at least prevented drowning) but I'm still surprised they let me do that. It was a long time ago, though. Now you probably need a license or something.

Now I'm a social worker in a hospital. It's ok.

[april]

I'm so happy you're writing more, and getting paid for it, Julia! You are great at this. I marvel at you, and you make me chuckle.

My first job was as a baker for a hippie grocery store co-op. We would accidentally on purpose drop things so that we could eat them. It was great. And since I was poor and working in a bakery, I ate nothing but brownies and lemon tarts for months, but still lost a few pounds from all the heavy lifting and running around. That has never before, or since, in my life happened to me, the effortless pound droppage-thing.

Now I am a kindergarten teacher, and I absolutely love it. It surprises me a little every time I hear myself telling someone what I do for a living, as I was never around kids growing up (only child), never babysat, never was much interested in wee tykes, rebelled against the sensible college major leading to straightlaced job thing, thought my teachers were nerds, etc. One day I came to my senses and realized that the one job I was searching for that best combined my strong desires to:
1. feel like I accomplished something with my daytime hours
2. do arts and crafts
3. run my own fiefdom, magnanimously
4. enjoy plentiful office supplies and be in the company of others who also appreciate them
5. laugh a lot
was being a kindergarten teacher.

I love it.

[Dawn]

My three have all gone through the climbing on the dining room table. all. the. time. stage when they were around...18 months?? SOOOO annoying, but relatively short-lived, I mean, in the history of mankind and all. But for that month or so, I felt like I was removing the child from the table every two minutes 12 hours a day (only 12 because blessedly, they slept 12 hours at night by that point).

Something else...oh yes! 61 degrees?? If you ask my parents, we live in the coldest house known to man. We have given in and switched the furnace on, but we keep it at around 68 generally. Theirs is at 74 or something ridiculously hot, I always feel like I"m going through menopause at their place. So glad to hear someone else's house is cooler than ours. My kids wear flannel jammies and the littlest (2yo) has a flannel sleepsack as well.

[Molly Chase]

My first job was working for an organization that was lobbying for ecological change: namely a national bottle return bill and a moratorium on new incinerators. I was about five years younger than anyone else working for the organization and for everyone else it was one long drunken and stoned orgy all summer long. I was sixteen at the time and not at all prepared to participate in any drunken orgies. It was a horrible job, door-to-door canvassing for donations. But I got a really good tan.

My current job is ornament. No, that's not true. I'm a stay-at-home mother to a four year old and a three year old. So, yeah. There's that.

[Kristin]

You are an absolutely amazing storyteller! My Gabe did the same things your boys do/did...after the first time, he always carefully lowered himself to the floor before he had a tantrum.

My first job...hmmmm...I can't remember whether I lifeguarded first or I was a cashier in Food Lion first. Lifeguarding was definitely the better of the two jobs.

[Rbelle]

I started working at Arby's when I was 18, did that for a year, then worked at Carl's Jr. for two more years - and I was really good at it. Which, how hard is it, really, but you'd be surprised. I was always in drive thru because I got people's orders right, until they realized that I was also good at making sandwiches, at which point they moved me to the back. It's probably a little-known fact that the "flipping" part of flipping burgers is actually where they put their best employees because you have to do a lot back there, and you have to do it fast. Then I started opening the store, which involved cutting 50 onions, 25 heads of lettuce and 30 tomatoes every day, while being on hand to make breakfast sandwiches anytime an order came up. At the time, I think I must have hated it, but sometimes, when I get sick of my mentally draining technical editing job, complete with cube farm, I think of fast food fondly. It's gross, it's menial, and you smell like grease all the damned time, but it's also rewarding in the immediate - if you're keeping up, you're keeping up, and people go away more or less happy. Plus I've never had more time to think - I finished my one and only "novela" the last summer I worked there, and haven't written anywhere near as much in the eight years I've been at my current job. My brain is just too tired.
I think that's why my new dream is to be a Starbucks barrista. Huge paycut, but think of the free time! :)

[Beth]

First job: kitchen girl at the JCC. I think I got paid $1.50 an hour or something.

Pediatric nurse for 17 years or so...liked it, but heart got continually broken.

Job now: nursing instructor. Best job ever. Love it.

[stacy]

I'm currently an almost-lawyer (waiting for bar exam results) at a nonprofit. I do public benefits cases, for which you don't have to be admitted to the bar, and will do landlord-tenant cases as well after I'm licensed to practice. I LOVE IT. I spent 20 consecutive years in school and it all feels worthwhile. I like my coworkers, I like my clients, I like the feeling of learning new things each day. That doesn't mean I don't sometimes wish I could stay in bed in the mornings, but that would be true of any job.

My first job was babysitting, and I liked it so much I still do it occasionally now...yes, even though I have two graduate degrees and a professional job. Some folks think that's weird, but indulges two of my favorite things to do--visit nice houses and hang out with little kids--in a profitable way, so there :p

[Elizabeth Hosto]

My first job was at Wendy's, then I was a disc jockey at a small town AM radio station, moved on to retail, went back to college, got a couple degrees and ended up working in a lab doing cancer research. Now and am a Mom and I love it more than anything.

[Trisha]

My first job was at the campus bookstore where I attended university. I was fired from that job for reading the books instead of stacking them on the shelves like I was supposed to. After that, it was bagging groceries. Then I was a patient-transporter for the radiology department at the local hospital; next, english tutor; then, retail (lighting then children's clothing); full-time teaching (high school chemistry); and now, stay-at-home mom and part-time online teacher for home-schoolers. I LOVE what I am doing right now.

[kate]

My first job was as a kitchenhand- starting at 2pm, peeling bags of carrots, scrubbing bags of potatoes then washing dishes until 2am then mopping the floors- with no break at all. i hated it.
Later I worked as a junior consultant at a private health consulting firm, and I cried all the way there and all the way home again every day.
I finally quit after 2 years and went to work for the state government health department, where I now work on our emergency medical retrieval service, and I love every minute of it. I get to hear about all the gory and exciting stuff without actually having to be a clinical decision maker.

[Diane]

My first job was babysitting, but I don't think that really counts. I slung pizzas at the Hut, went to work at Wendy's for awhile, then at K-Mart Ugh. I began to really hate the human race after two holiday seasons there.

SAHM for awhile, then after the divorce, I went back to school, worked a part time job at my kids' day care, and managed the apartment building in which we lived.

Started working at an orthopedic surgery practice doing their billing, loved it. Left years later for a better paying job with a group of heart surgeons. Loved that even more. Quit that job to stay home with my boys through their last four years of high school, did freelance medical transcription then. Went back to work with one of the cardiac surgeons when he went into sole practice. Managed his office, best job EVER. He took a leave of absence, I went into business for myself, making soap, and bath and body products, selling them in my retail store. Expanded and doubled the store size, bought the building. Burned out after five years of 80+ hours a week. Now I'm selling soap at a farmer's market once a week year round, wholesaling, internet sales. I write freelance, and can do most of my work in my jammies now.

[NellaBean]

In high school I worked for the public library. I liked this job (but the only job I've ever LOVED was working one fall for an apple orchard). The library was full of nifty experiences - my first older guy crush, funny college student co-workers who came to work high and without bras, I got really good at the alphabet (heh), my first death threat (over, get this, Elton John tapes), and we had first dibs on any book getting checked in (each night we'd all go home with a stack).

Any job that has brought me into contact with a wide selection of personalities has been awesome - if not for the work than at least for the stories.

[Michelle @ The Elephant Assassin]

Since this is my first post as a long time lurker let me first say your children are beautiful and I love reading about them. You inspire me a lot with your writing, and I very much look forward to reading anything you write. To put it simply, you fucking rock. HOLLA!! (too much?)

My first job was working as a "recreation leader" for our city's free summer enrichment program for grades 1-5. Best moment: making my group of surly brats skip their afternoon snack for misbehaving. I REALLY SHOWED THEM! Now I am a SAHM, and I really love it. But outside child rearing I have yet to find an occupation that fulfills me.

[bethany actually]

My first job with a W-2 was as a library page at a small branch library. I was 14 years old when I started my two-year stint there. Although I did not particularly love the re-shelving of all the returned books that was the main part of my job, I did LOVE working at a library. My boss was a woman named Gloria, whom I had known since I was a toddler, because she went to the same church as my family. The library was housed in a community center, along with a preschool (the same preschool where my brother and I were students and my mom was a teacher), a senior center, and a gymnasium and weight room. We tended to see the same seniors and families over and over again and got to know people by name and reading preferences, which was wonderful. For some reason I remember vividly one family with four or five boys and one girl, the youngest, who was named Leia by her father because "she's my little princess!" Leia liked horse books.

Because the library I worked at was smallish, the pages had a number of duties in addition to reshelving books. We also helped patrons check out, helped locate books on the shelf if necessary, decorated bulletin boards, wrote out slips for late fines, helped people use the card catalog (this was before libraries were computerized!), and cover new books with those plasticky covers.

All the pages at that branch were girls, and we all wore tags that identified us merely as "Page" with the name of the library underneath. I got called "Page" a lot, by people who naturally thought it was my name. When there were two or more of us working at the same time, we got a lot of double-takes and, "Wow, what are the odds of two girls named Page both working at the same library?" Yes, haha.

I'd still like to go back to school and get my degree in library science. Someday.

[Felicity]

Hi. :)My first job was in a book shop when I was 16. I loved it, books are a passion of mine, and always have been. I spent my teenage years reading and re-reading The Lord of The Rings. When I worked in The 'Brown Bookshop' I spent all my money on different coppies of The Lord of the Rings, ordered in from around the world.
Now I am 40, I have 8 year old Twins, Edward and Cecilia, and a three year old, Oscar. They fill my days, but as soon as they are in bed, at 7pm, I sit at my computer and write. I go to bed at 2am, rise at 7am and start it all again! I go without sleep to indulge in my passion for writing, but it can be hard, there does not seem to be much balance!

I have a degree in Visual Arts with a major in Printmaking,and a double sub-major in Literature and Art History. I love Art, but writing is how my I love to express myself.

Your writing is wonderful, I love how emotive your posts are, you never fail to make me smile. :)

Cheers, Felicity.

[Felicity]

I was going to add, when Oscar was smaller he loved climbing on the tables, so I used a big rope and tied all the chairs to each other, then secured them to the table legs. When we needed to sit down we just pulled the rope out. It was a small hassle, but saved him from injury, and left the chairs there so we could sit when we ate. :)

[Penelopeinparis]

Hello Julia,

I love your style and wit! And your family is brilliant and lovely. I'm so glad you are being paid to write - you are very, very good at it.

My first job was at a mall at the Great American Chocolate Chip Cookie Company. I had to wear a baseball cap (horrors!), a name tag and a big plastic apron. No one could ever pronounce my name, and the cookies were disgusting (the dough was shipped in plastic lined boxes. We used ice cream scoops to scoop out the dough onto the cookie sheets - I can smell them now - bleah!) but that didn't keep me from eating them. It was also where I learned to dance "The Butt". This was Atlanta, and "Doin' the Butt" was a big hit in the 80's. My co-worker exclaimed I needed to learn this dance because I had, as I had been told since age 12, "a big butt for a white girl." I was, and still am, very proud.

[Carrie (in MN)]

Love your posts Julia. First job was making t-shirts - remember in the early 80s when you'd pick out your design and your shirt and they'd iron it on with a big flat iron? That job. It was okay. My best retail job was summers and Christmas breaks working at Hastings - big discount on music and three paperbacks a shift as long as we ripped the front covers off (I think this is illegal, but it was sanctioned by our managers.)

Now I'm a paid public policy geek and communications person for a small non-profit in the health care world - perfect job for me as it combines my skills (policy geekdom and writing) with my big public policy passion (health care). I love it.

[Kate]

My first jobs were a mixture of waitressing (lasted 2 nights when the boss tried to feel up the new girl) and the 'record bar' at Myers (an Aust department store).

I am now an in house lawyer at an iconic Australia company working 3 days per week and I love it. So yes, some lawyers end up happy (but not rich). I also have 2 kids with a 12 year age gap and the flexibiity of my job is fantastic.

[Joanne]

My first job (other that babysitting/nanny) was working in a garden centre - fine until I developed a topical reaction to geraniums.

My first job out of engineering school was a kindergarden teacher's aide. I was rebelling against the establishment. Or something.

I did eventually go out and get an engineering job - as a manufacturing engineer, and I really enjoyed it. I'm currently a business analyst, and the biggest challenge is that I find people who work in office environments are less willing to try changes to their processes than people who work on the manufacturing floor... the office staff are the ones who are more likely to say "but we've always done it this way" and dig in their heels. Not particularly fun, but there's a recession on and it's hard to move back to manufacturing right now.

[Arbutus]

1st job daycare worker, current job @ mail in Pharmacy, no, do not like what I am doing but the pay is good.

Beyond that, I cannot believe you moved your dining chairs to keep Caroline off the table. Children need to be taught some things are just not appropriate by whatever parenting style you favor. I always went with "consequences for your actions" with age appropriate and safe consequences. It's a parents job to teach kids, not just remove possibilities for problems.

[mom of two boys]

My first job was dancing in Mickey's Very Merry Chirstmas Parade in 1982. From that experience I continued to be a Disney Character until I married in 1988 on holidays and vacation.

Great job for the young. Yes it was hot but I was able to handle it back then. How? I don't know. I guess youth has its advantages. Dancing, hugging, signing autographs, scaring kids (well that wasn't good), being in shows and parades. Good times.

I was Chip and Dale height and my little sister was Mickey/Minnie height and she followed in my footsteps and worked there too. My oldest son is short and I bet he will be Mickey in 6 years.

[Rayne of Terror]

My first job was as an assistant to my dad, a painter and paperhanger. Cleaning, sanding, cleaning, sanding, scraping, cleaning, sanding, power washing, sanding, cleaning. The pay was excellent and the work was hard. It took YEARS before I was allowed to pick up a paint brush, but once I was I was hooked. Painting is so zen. BUT it's also backbreaking (and knee breaking) to be a skilled laborer as a career. And so off to college I went and then I worked for a few years (at the IL Senate with an unknown elected official named Barack Obama) and then off to law school and now I'm a gov't attorney. It is NOT a zen job. I'm currently on week 8 of maternity leave (unpaid) and realizing how incredibly stressful child support enforcement is for me. It's a lot of paternity testing and ordering job hunts and trying to put fathers in jail for non payment.

[tree town gal]

you are a fabulous storyteller... but i've mentioned that a few 100 times.

hmm... you know that playtrap thing that you took to the party -- could you trap the dining room tables and chairs. they could not escape and maybe the twinks couldn't get in? i don't have the luxury of that much space so i'm not sure how those things work... just thinkin'... without coffee, i might add.

first job -- selling flowers and such at landscaping place. loved it.

current job -- research scientist (health sciences); not so much on the loving it part. right now, procrastinating on grant writing to play here. see, my heart isn't in it and it never has been. don't ask me why i bothered with a phd. oh right, i didn't like my prior industrial engineering gig either. you should love the phd/ research work because it takes a passionate commitment to do it well and to make a difference in the world.

[T]

My first job (besides babysitting) was at a girl scout camp. I enjoy being bossy and being outdoors, so it still has been my favorite job ever. I worked there quite a few summers and still haven't found a job I love more.

I've moved around a bit to various administrative positions and am now secretary at a university. It's not fulfilling nor interesting and I spend a lot of time search for something better in a non-profit.

I also spend a lot of time reading blogs, and articles, and you are my favorite of both.

[gretchen from lifenut]

My first paycheck job was at an amusement park's kiddie land. I was 15.

I spent much of that summer putting toddlers in little airplanes, imploring them not to stand up. I pushed a button. Waited three minutes. Pushed it again. Unloaded.

Next!

When I turned 16, I was promoted to the arcade where I was taught how to fix jammed Skee Ball machines.

[Carrie]

My first job was as an office assistant in a bill collection agency. My dad was a small-town lawyer and this was kind of a side business for him. I was fourteen and this was before everything was computerized so I spent my days filing these little square envelopes with cards inside listing the debts, and a little metal clip that marked the last day the person was contacted by clipping onto the envelope, which had calender days listed on it. I also looked up legal notices from around the state and compared them to our files to see if we had those people. And occasionally I answered the phone. Everyone in the office was a heavy smoker, and smoked there, so I came home every day reeking of smoke and my hands covered in paper cuts. The bonus of this job was that I learned how to answer the phone with a angry and upset person on the other end and handle it calmly. This made me the go-to person in later jobs for difficult customer calls, and it helped me greatly in moving into management. Like, seriously, I had to escalate to my boss exactly once in my first year, and I got pissy calls multiple times a day. It also got me used to the notion that not everyone would like me (hello, dad's a bill collector with a recognizable last name in a town of 6000 people-there were people who wouldn't let me play with their kids because of it) no matter what I did.

Right now I stay at home with the kids because I lost my retail job last month. I would like to be writing like you are, but I am not a good enough writer. Yet, anyway.

[Laura in PA]

I think this is my first time commenting here. I really love your writing!

Question about the grobags--do the twinks tip over if they try to stand up or walk around the crib in them?

Let's see...my first (non-babysitting) job was at a fabric store, which I actually really liked. At 16 I was by FAR the youngest person working there. Now I work in grantmaking, and I love my job. I'm awfully lucky that way.

[Pam L]

Arbutus..removing the chairs is a safety issue that I agree with. There is a hanging lamp to be burned on and the likelihood of falling onto a hard floor. Some issues are teachable if they are not dangerous, this is not one of them. Take into account that there is another twink there to keep track of and I find the solution appropriate for now. This reminds me of a story I heard from a visiting nurse who went to the homes of new Moms to check in on how she and baby were doing. One time she went to a house where there was also a toddler and found a tin of sewing pins on the coffee table in reach of the toddler. The misguided Mom explained to the nurse that the toddler had to learn not to get into the pins. Really? Was she serious? Oh yes she was and the nurse made her remove the pins and went over what is and is not teachable and what is a safety issue with a baby and toddler.

[jen]

I am so happy you are loving what you are doing now!

Oh but you asked for work history. Technically I started out volunteering at the library. Twice a week, I rode my bike down to the library and helped out with children's story time. My first real job was checking groceries. One summer I continued to work as a checker but also waitressed. So my day started at the hotel diner at 5 a.m. and ended at 10 p.m. at the grocery store. Oh and then I went out and partied with all my friends until midnight. I have no idea how I managed to do that that summer. After that, I had the best job ever at a local ag loan office where I filed things and copied things and typed letters up for the loan officers and took the mail to the post, etc. We played Hearts every afternoon at 3. My boss bought me Beanie Babies and we had food days every week. God I loved that job.

Next, I went to college and worked as a bank teller for a small local bank and I loved that job too. There was nothing better than getting a bagel and opening up the bank on Sat a.m. It was so quite because only the drive thru was open. I also worked with some other college students who were completely awesome.

Then I went on to the real world armed with a masters and CPA license. I worked a bazillion hours being an auditor for three years then I went to where I am now being an accountant for a private company. Where I am a bit bored. I'm thinking of moving on to something else but all my something else options seem to require another two years of college to get a different degree and well, if I was going to go to college for 7 years in total, I should very well just go for one more year and have a phD, ya know. So who knows what's next but something else is definitely in order...I am secretly trying to figure out how to stay home full time.

[Amanda P.]

First job unpaid - volunteer work at the town library (required volunteer work during high school, not court ordered!)

First job paid - a summer working in the hospital cafeteria (for the patients and staff, not for visitors).

First job out of school - a year at Barnes and Noble. 40% discount, so I spent about 1 paycheck/month on books. I think everyone should work for awhile in food service or retail. It would make the world a friendlier place!

Current job - project manager in clinical research. I didn't realize there were so many from my industry who read Julia! Personally, I like the job, but I can understand why some people would get frustrated. I crochet for my creative outlet.

[Anna]

Real first job was at an anachronistic candy store / soda shop called Drake's in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and I am willing to bet you have at least one other reader who also was a Drake's Girl. It was fabulous because I got to eat all the candy I wanted. Which was a lot.

[Ashley K]

I am a Park Ranger and I LOVE it! I get to spend as much of the day outside as I want. On the really good days I get paid to hike trails and drive a boat. I would say that about 80% of my job is amazing. The other 20% is terrible. That 20% is when someone gets hurt (we are an hour away from doctors), when I have to write someone a ticket for being an idiot or tearing up public land, which sometimes results in having to kick them out of the park, or when I am just plain exhausted. Since my job is rather physical, when I am tired my job is hard. I usually don't have the choice of just taking it easy at my desk.

[Shawna]

My first job was a 2-week gig trimming Christmas trees during the hottest two weeks of the entire year. Bet you didn't know that Christmas trees don't just grow perfectly conical all by themselves, did you?

The smallest are shaped with a pair of clippers and the ones that are destined for market within a year or two are trimmed with, essentially, a small machete blade on the end of a piece of wood. The contraption looks like a hockey stick.

I like my current jobs well enough: the full-time desk job, the part-time teach-at-the-gym job, and the photography business I started this year. Each satisfies different needs (money and security, staying in shape and bossing people around, and creativity, respectively). It would be nice to find one thing that did it all for me though.

[Susan]

First job was at a dry cleaners--my mother saw the "help wanted" sign and took me down and I got the job. I went there after school and worked about 3 hours a few days a week and all day on Saturday. Worst part: having to dig into people's pockets to empty out whatever they had left in there--old kleenex, broken cigarettes (i.e., just the tobacco which gets under your fingernails), coins (which you had to put in an envelope with the customer's name on it). Also it was about a 112 degrees in there during the summer from the pressing machines. And I still can't abide the smell of dry cleaning solvent. They finally fired me because I kept calling in "sick" or "doctor's appointment" because it was my senior year of high school and I had a lot of social activities I had to attend :-).

[Katherine Wildman]

First job: lifeguard. I'm a redhead, so my parents forbid me from working outdoors in the sun, so I worked for the Y and our school districts continuing ed program. The benefit was that the shifts were relatively short (3-4 hours) because I was working alone and there were limits on lone lifeguard shifts because you had to pay such close attention. It was also great because it meant I got a car. I volunteered for the 5-9AM friday morning shift at the Y, and my parents (who had previously sworn that I would have to be 25 and not living with them before I got my first car - they bought me a bike for my 16th birthday!) bought me a bright red used festiva (I paid the insurance) so that they wouldn't have to get up to take me. I also had to do all the afternoon errands, so I think they had additional motivation, but I didn't care. It was a great car - you could literally do a U-turn in a parking place and I learned to drive stick shift. Although I must admit my sister rated my driving on the richter scale when I was first learning to use the clutch...
But back to the JOB. My evening shifts were great - water aerobics was fun because the instructor would ask me to demonstrate some of the moves on deck since she was in the water and it's often hard to really see what she was doing with her legs under the water. It was a challenge and pretty entertaining, I'm sure, since there are a lot of things you can do in the water that are not so easy on land. Waterbabies, on the other hand, was more stressful. Some of the kids were cute and instinctive swimmers, others screamed the whole time, and I lived in constant fear that a mom would drop her baby. Especially the teeny ones. It really makes no sense to bring your baby to a public pool when they can't yet hold their head up. If you want to get them used to the water, fill up your bathtub! Compared to a 3 month old, that's big enough to be a pool!
The early morning shifts were by far the easiest because it was all lap swimmers. I really respect those who are making the effort to get out and exercise, but perhaps a speedo is not the most appropriate suit for you if I have to double check to make sure that you're wearing a suit at all....
Weekend lifeguard shifts were the worst because it was rec swim, and the pool was crowded with tons of kids. I was the mean lifeguard who really enforced all the rules.
My "interview" for the job at the Y was an active rescue. They brought in all of us applying for lifeguarding jobs (already had to have passed the course) and put their best guard in the water to act as an active victim. Then we had to go in and pull him out. I'm pretty petite and had already taken the message to heart of never get in with an active victim (that's what those long rods and floats are for), but it really made an impact on some of the more macho guys when the "victim" managed to grab onto them and drag them under. I failed at getting the guy out of the pool by myself, he was quite a bit taller than me and pure muscle, but I was able to restrain him fully and keep him from pulling me under, so I got the job. Scariest interview ever, but made the point, and none of us went into the water with an active victim and we were all extra vigilant about preventing that situation from happening in the first place! The only woman who managed to actually pull the guy out of the pool was an older, very experienced woman who was pretty large. She grabbed him and flipped him up out of the water on her hip and just pulled him out. Then she admitted that she'd hit him below the belt with her knee. It certainly worked, and I'd have no qualms doing it myself if I ever found myself in that situation again!
Now I'm a biochemisty professor studying multidrug resistance. I love my job for the most part, but writing grants is pretty stressful!

[Anne]

FIrst job: slinging hot dogs at an establishment called Homer's. It was 1988, I was 14, and the rate of pay was something like $3.45 an hour. On breaks, I would eat a cheeseburger, cheddar fries, and a milkshake. I was growing.

Now, 21 years later, I'm a psychologist. I absolutely adore it, even on stressful days.

[Parenthetical]

My first real job (excluding being a paperboy which was really a form of child exploitation that I'm still bitter about) was working in an ice cream shop. I've heard people say that food-related jobs give them an aversion to that kind of food, but not me. It was literally a mom-n-pop place where they handmade all the ice cream flavors and I would come back to the shop on my days off to eat the ice cream (as a paying customer!) The best by far was Milky Way, which I guess was supposed to be approximately nougat-flavored but more importantly had generous ribbons of caramel and huge chunks of Hershey bars mixed in. Besides the ice cream itself, the two things that stand out most for me about that job were 1) that they had one of those analog timecard clocks so the other kids and I literally punched in and out for each shift - and this was, like, 1991, which seems really incongruous now, and 2) the radio was always tuned to an easy-listening oldies station, and my heavy-metal-addled teenage brain somehow made room for all the lyrics to songs such as "Time In A Bottle", "Summer Breeze", "City of New Orleans" and the like.

Now I'm a government contractor, doing pretty straightforward computer programming on dull government systems, but it is super-stable and pays the bills, which are my husband/daddy priorities these days. I don't love it, but I'll take it.

[Lisa]

Ok, my first job (not counting babysitting starting when I was 11) was when I was fifteen. I scooped ice cream at a local Connecticut ice cream stand where all the ice cream was homemade at the dairy down the road. It was very fun and I developed a crush on a coworker and a bulging right bicep -- ice cream scooping is surprisingly strenuous!

I love the job I have now, I'm an entertainment writer. It's very fun and I usually don't feel like it's "work."

[WendyP]

My first job was as a popcorn cook at one of those candied corn places. We did small batches of strange flavors like fruit punch bubble gum, honey-caramel-macadamia-nut and other "gourmet" flavors, and then regular caramel corn with and without peanuts, which we stored in back in 55 gallon drums. I can make excellent caramel corn, but only in five gallon batches. My hours were flexible, but my hands looked horrible from candy burns and hand-washing.

I'm currently unemployed and my husband works for the state of CA. I'm vaguely concerned about how we will pay our mortgage in November. So, no, not so fun right now.

[Leah]

My job history aside, let me just say this: If you turn out to be one of those bloggers who just up and decides one day that you care more about your children than US, and that you can no longer keep up your blog because your super-special snowflakes are suffering without your undivided attention, I will move near you and come over each day so you can tell me stories. My job is being a Mom, all fucking day. You make me laugh. A lot. And your kids are gorgeous and I need to hear stories about them on a regular basis. Just keep that in mind.

My job history:

1) Putt-putt (mini-golf; I worked the concession stand, dug tokens out of machines, and got felt up by my boss. I rather liked it.)
2) Dinner theater - I worked the buffet line. Don't ever eat at one of those.
3) Waitress, TGI Fridays. More fun than it sounds.
4) Line cook, deli. A blast.
5) Started the boring "real" jobs.
6) I change diapers. (I love it. Shhhh...)

[Kel]

My first job was magic and I think destroyed me for most other meaningful work. I was Donald Duck in a parade at Disneyland. I was 15, it was the mid-seventies, and I was suddenly every gay boy dancer in OC's little sister. It was like being Scarlette O'Hara without ever having face the consequences of my actions (being funny, and shocking and sooo grown up for my age). It was a drag, alas, when that parade ended and I went back to drab high school and failed repeatedly to fit back in to any social world (shocking and funny aren't so much fun when it's assumed you mean you want to DO the things that come flying out of your mouth). Disco is still the best music ever created.

[nikki]

Can I just say thank you for the baby sleeping bag idea? I had no idea such an item existed. I recently purchased a ceramic heater for her room because it gets so dang cold in there, but I feel so uneasy using it. The Grobag is the perfect solution!

My first job was at CVS. I started out as a peon, worked my way up the ranks and then married my boss. Heh.

[nikki]

Uh, her being my 7 month old daughter. Must read before posting........

[Lisa]

I've read that Erma Bombeck story many times... "You have just ordered a head." Fantastic.

First job, working at a pizza stand at a local music festival when I was 16. Highlight of that was returning to my window with an order, only to discover that my forty-somethingish customer had put two straws up her nose and was pretending to be a walrus.

I'm actually starting a new job this week as a grant writer for a local nonprofit and keeping my fingers crossed that the economy is not my downfall.