Fleming Florey Moyer and Me

In 1943 my grandmother was living in Alabama with her parents while my grandfather was engaged in Top Secret War Work (in Michigan of all places; the following year they moved to Los Alamos - ahem.) That winter my father - who was two at the time - developed pneumonia and became sicker and sicker over the course of a week. Eventually the doctor told my grandmother that he feared the child was dying and that she needed to call his daddy if he was going to make it back before the end. It was thirty-five years later as she told me this story and obviously there was a happy ending but my grandmother would still lower her voice to a whisper when she got to that part.  

"However," the doctor added, "there's a new drug available. I've never tried it and I don't hold with these things in the general run but... well... at this point it certainly can't hurt."

"So I agreed to try the new drug," my grandmother would finish the story, "and do you know what that new drug was? It was..." (dramatic pause - she was a great one for the dramatic pauses) " PENICILLIN!"

And that was my cue to cheer, which I always did.

"YAY! PENICILLIN! YAY!!!"

That was my earliest salute to antibiotics but this week was marked by a couple more:

1. Three days of azithromycin (yay! azithromycin! yay!) and a repeat check with the pediatrician and Edward's lung are now crackle-free. I think we caught his pneumonia early and I am very glad that we did. So heads up, my fellow sufferers, if you get the flu, get better and then get a cough and a fever several days after recovering get thee to a physician.

2. By Thursday night I was so desperate to clear my sinuses I actually resorted to the irrigation technique that so many of you were urging. I admit that I have a dread of snorting water up my nose that dates back to unfortunate childhood swimming pool incidents and I have steadfastly refused the whole idea of a saline nose flush on principle alone. However, needs must and after two weeks of not being able to taste or smell anything I was getting really depressed. Thus, I mixed salt and warm water and found a suitable squeeze bottle and commended my soul to the nose gods and... nothing happened. I was so congested that - apart from a very wet and salty shirt - I couldn't even tell that I had just snuffed 5 fluid ounces of saline into my head.

So I gave up on the garlic and the mentholatum and the hot compresses and the elevated pillows and the salt watery deluge and I went to the urgent care on Friday. The guy said, wow, do you have infected sinuses or what, and I said snuh, and he gave me a prescription for amoxicillin (yay! amoxicillin! yay!) and it took several days but I no longer feel like my head is muffled in a burlap sack and I am pretty sure that I was able to taste a little bit of tea essence this morning.    

+

The pediatrician's office called on day two of Edward's pneumonia to say that they had reached his name on their seasonal flu vaccine list; did we still want it? I said yes I suppose we do; so we waited until after he was done with antibiotics and then got Edward's lungs checked before both he and Caroline got vaccinated and as an extra-special bonus Edward's pneumonia and Caroline's previous RSV issues bought them an H1N1 vaccination as well. I worried that the double vaccine whammy would fell them but they were fine. The nurse said that they will need an H1N1 booster in a month so I should call for that appointment soon. Today I did but was told that they are unable to schedule it after all since they do not know if they will have any booster shots in December.

Ai yi yi.

I am not so worried about the lack of boosters for Caroline and Edward or any vaccine at all for Patrick (whose advanced age of seven did not qualify him for any flu vaccines yet) since I am 1000% positive we have already had a visit from the H1N1 fairy but now I feel guilty for bogarting the vaccines we just got. If I had realized they were running out again I might have said no. It's a tough year for parental decision making.

+

I didn't get a chance to mention this, what with the pneumonia and my mother coming to visit this weekend, but I took Edward for a speech evaluation last Monday. It was low-key and fun for him, especially since she started the evaluation by handing Edward two toy cars. Edward will pretty much tolerate anything provided he has a car in each hand. She sat there and asked him to identify different pictures and then they did a little role-playing and then she said that they like to be able to understand about 80% of what a child says by this age and when Edward spoke she was able to understand... nothing. Zippo. Na Da, as Patrick used to say before speech therapy when he wanted a strawberry.

And I said, "Yeah, well, there's that" because, really, in a clinical setting it was hard to ignore that Edward gabbles.

So the pathologist is putting her report together and will request services through our insurance company who theoretically covers these things but who might balk at the fact that he is less than two and ask that we repeat the evaluation in six months. Personally I would find that sort of.. well, silly... since I called them before the evaluation was done to ask if we are covered and to talk about this very issue (his age) and they told me to go ahead and have him checked so... we'll see. I cannot say I am looking forward to the logistics of getting Edward to twice weekly speech therapy but I *am* looking forward to his not running over to slap my face when he feels like he is not being understood by someone. Also, it might be nice to know what he is talking about without Caroline's somewhat dubious translations:

Edward, tears streaking down his face, runs toward me, jabbering incomprehensibly. Caroline - in the other room looking nonchalant and grasping one of Edward's cars - observes, "Eddybear's SO SLEEPY."

+

Without getting into it too much, Patrick is not having a great year at school. I had a meeting with the teachers a couple of weeks ago and failed to get much accomplished and - although I think it is a good school - we (meaning Steve and I; Patrick LOATHES change) are wondering if he, personally, would be more productive elsewhere. Last week I talked to the woman who runs the magnet school for kids who test as X and she is willing to make a space for him in their second grade classroom as soon as we would like it. If we would like it.

Pros: challenging work that Patrick would probably wallow in like a happy swine; small class packed with kids who probably share many of Patrick's interests; funded out the gazinga due to a grant they just received     

Cons: 30 minute drive (each. way) carpool possibilities questionable; does one just pull a kid out of his setting in the middle of the year; did I mention that Patrick is happy at his current school in a lazy kinda way and he LOATHES change?

I know I haven't given a lot of details but I would love your thoughts in general. What do you do when your child is having a not-so-good year at school and a better but less convenient option exists? Do I go back to our school and try to be more aggressive in getting his needs met? Do we go with the school that sounds - on paper at least; Patrick and I are going to visit on Wednesday - as if Faberge might have designed it just for him? If it were about my needs I would leave him where he is. I like it and I love our carpool. Of course if everything were about my needs I would be sitting in my bathtub right now eating fudge instead of sneaking in a blog post while I use the high speed internet offered by the library to try to upload files for Steve's work.  

PS I taught Patrick chess on Saturday and we have played a dozen games since then. In, like, five minutes he became one of those crazy chess obsessed people in the Park. Every time I turned around this weekend he had set up the board again and was waggling a white pawn at me. Do you recommend any computer chess games? I, uh, hate chess and I am terrible at it and... let's just say that Patrick needs a robot chess buddy before I start disappearing the pieces, you know?

PPS Edward's speech report just came in the mail and somehow he's in the 47th percentile for expressive communication. What the..? Damn it, there's no way my insurance company is going to pay for speech therapy for a kid who is deemed average. How can he be average? She says in the written section that he tends to use only vowels when communicating. Vowels! How is that average? 

PPPS Patrick hates to spend money and has thus amassed the small fortune of $211 in his piggy bank. Last weekend he decided that the $11 was untidy enough to bother him so when I took the kids on a run to Target he brought it with him. Possibly to spend. Maybe. He saw this inflatable bouncy thing marked down to $22 and pleaded with me to go halves with him, noting that he could use it to practice his trampoline and tumbling. Since we had to leave his last T&T class early due to extreme lip-splittage following an ungainly connection of knee (his) and face (also his) I was not unmoved by these entreaties. Frankly, any practice he can get would be a good thing. So we bought it and lugged it home and unpacked it and... I don't know what Patrick and I were envisioning but the box seriously mislead us as to the dimensions. We were picturing something that could hold an average sized boy and instead

Edward has a new favorite place to read.

I gave Patrick back his $11 since it didn't seem fair that he had unintentionally used his money to buy Edward a bouncy slice of paradise. 

PPPPS

Local Boy Chases Hooligans After Cycle Theft

Comments

[~Monkey]

I am 30 and childless and therefore my opinion, in the words of Joey Tribiani, is moo, like the opinion of a cow...worthless.

All I want to say is that when I see your posts pop up in my google reader, I smile. Not smile *inside* the way you do when you are interacting with a screen, but I real life smile. And get a wee titch excited. Because your writing, even about mucous and saline and infections...rocks. It's clever and honest and...generous and thoughtful...and you don't add stupid elipses every time you pause to think...

That's really my whole deal here.

[sinda]

I'd say go with your gut after you and patrick visit. If he LOVES it and wants to move - move. If he loves/likes it and isn't ready to move, go next year (is that an option?). Either way, I bet you'll know after the visit.

[dee]

I went to a private school years. We lived in the suburbs and the school was downtown; it took 30 minutes to get there, even longer during rush hour; I was up at 6:30 every morning and often didn't get home from school until 4:30 or 5. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Conventional school did not meet my needs and that was more important than convenience.

I've read your blog for years and we all know how gifted Patrick is. Like Mensa kind of gifted. Don't hold him back for your sake.

[QoB]

I don't mean to reply freakishly fast but you are in my googlereader, and I am unemployed, so here I go:

I was also one of those freakishly bright children and I have to say, I would have LOVED a better school i.e.: a school with more kids like me. I was miserable and bored in primary school much of the time (on the other hand, I did have time to read a lot). It may be worth a bit of short-term annoyance if it is better for him in the long run. I didn't feel particularly challenged until I went to CTY aged 11 (which I think commenters have mentioned here before).

Let us know what he thinks of the school visit...

[Bonnie Jean]

I laughed out loud at Caroline - Eddiebear's so sleepy!

And I am at work.

[QoB]

I do realise that mentioning I'm currently unemployed probably dilutes the value of my anecdote somewhat, but there it is anyway...

[Marsha]

My son, who is older than Patrick and not quite as Patrick-y as Patrick (but in the neighborhood), had a meh year last year in second grade. The teacher was nice, it was all pleasant and he had his buddies and and and. We didn't really want to move him but we really didn't want to keep him there, either. Finally, after much deliberation with ourselves - because nothing annoys ones friends as much as hearing about someone else's smart kid problems - we decided that, although no one was blazing a fast path to MIT, neither was harm being done and we would leave him be for at least the remainder of the year. He was happy enough and challenge came in burst frequent enough to remind him that no, he doesn't know the answer to everything already that we figured it would be Fine. And it was. Not great, but fine. The plan was that if we thought we'd move him I could spend the summer forging relationships so that starting in the new place wouldn't be so awful for all concerned but in the end he was assigned a teacher absolutely perfect for him and we decided to stick with the school we otherwise like. The teacher is great, a third-grade teaching rock star and my son is just blooming with enthusiasm for damn near everything and super engaged and learning. So that, sort of, is my advice. Look to next year - if it promises to be better and you otherwise like the school (friends, location, suitable for the needs of the entire family, extra-curricular content, whatever)- then hang in there, supplement, supplement, supplement, and stick it out. If you're looking ahead and ever-diminishing returns then cut bait, take the hit from Patrick and plow ahead. There are two fourth-grade teachers at my son's school that could carry on this newly enhanced learning. If he is assigned to either we're in for another year, but if the third comes into play we're back to big decisions. One semester at a time, is my motto.

[amy]

Bored kid = lazy adult. (at least that's what I'm claiming is the cause of my laziness)

Being challenged and engaged at school is a huge gift. Go for it.

[Beth S]

ugh, I feel your pain about the school. We are at the school that is 10 miles away now instead of 4 houses down and walkable for this exact reason. There was just no way for them to meet BugMan's needs at the local school. I think it is worth it since he's tested off the charts in reading this year (including random word lists which were his struggle in K), and more than a grade ahead in math with pullout help just to work on speeding up the fact pages. I am so glad they are not keeping him back at grade level just because he is slow on the timed tests since the actual work is cake for him.

[Aunt Becky]

I'd probably suck it up and move him. Have a child who marches to the beat of his *ahem* own drummer, I would do what I can to make sure that what gifts he has are cultivated. Winter Break is coming, and that means that maybe that's a good time for change.

Trust me, I hate change. I hate change so much that I nearly cry at the thought of changing my blog template, so I sympathize with him.

[Nicky at Not My Mother]

School's a tough one. If it were closer I'd say go for it with no issues at all. But still a 60-minute round trip every day to take him there and get him back is a long time when you've also got the other two. On the other hand - it's his education. Could be perfect for him. Could change the course of his life. Gah, it's so tough.

In other news, you need to buy Patrick his own personal bouncy castle!

[Nicky at Not My Mother]

... having said all that, I don't think it's clear, but I'd go for the good school. I'm trying to say I understand the dilemma because it will be bloody inconvenient. But it's his education, and he's worth it.

Can you move your house closer?

[TheGoriWife]

When I was in fifth grade I was offered a spot in a local magnet school and my parents let me make the decision. I chose to stay with my friends because it was so hard for me to even make friends, and I too hated change. It was a terrible mistake. I wallowed in middle school, barely graduating high school, then college, the law school. My GPAs were dismal. In a class ranking, I was, as they like to say, in the "top 100%" if you catch my drift. I am the world's worst student, and I know that with absolutely no preparation or work, I can always eek out a passing grade. I have seriously sat for law school exams without ever having cracked the book. Perhaps if I had made a different decision (or my parents had not given me the decision to make in the first place) I could be some crazy rocket scientist or something. I mean, if I was able to accomplish this much with no effort/work/motivation, imagine what I could have been or done had I been inspired and motivated and set on the right path when I was 10.

Oh, and I'm still not good at making friends and, of course, those fifth grade friends are loooooong gone.

[Carla Hinkle]

Just to double-check -- he would be moving schools AND skipping a grade, right? He is currently in 1st or 2nd grade? (I have lost track.) Because that would make a difference to me. Moving schools and skipping a grade in the middle of the year sounds like a lot of change.

Anyway ... yes, definitely check it out and then go with what Patrick wants. Is he just not being challenged enough academically at his current school? I mean, nobody is mean to him or ignores him or anything? He isn't getting into trouble (discipline-wise I mean) from being bored in school? He has friends? Because if it were me, and Patrick was socially happy at his current school, I would wait until next year to change.

Also -- are there other areas (physical development, motor skills, art, etc) that are better at one place or the other? Because my daughter is in kindergarten and is reading way ahead of the other kids, but really benefits from the kindergarten-level motor skills stuff (cutting, writing, etc) plus she is in no way ready physically or emotionally to be around a bunch of first graders, so I just read with her a lot at home and don't worry that she's "missing out" on something academically.

Anyway. Definitely check out the new school, it sounds lovely and may be just the ticket either this year or next.

[Elizabeth]

Well, since you asked for opinions...

I'd say if Patrick likes the new school move him now. He may complain, but he will adjust to a mid-year move, it beats the heck out of wasting half the year being bored and miserable. My own kid is still a toddler, but I was one of those gifted/geeky kids, and I spent most of elementary & middle school bored, miserable, and reading books under my desk. I can only assume that gifted kids are still seriously under served in public schools.

[Sydnew]

My son's last school was a half hour drive away: that adds up to a two hour time commitment out of your day, and with twins, I have to wonder if that's even feasible? Are Caroline and Edward good enough in the car to tolerate a commute like that? Would Steve be able to do some of the driving?

I really found the commute horrible, but put up with it for almost two years because I had no better options. That said, if I could find a school for my son where he would be academically challenged, with compatible and like-minded kids, and supportive teachers--I'd keep making the drive forever. And/or move to be closer to the school. My 8th grader has had...ulp, counting preschools, nine different school situations and a good school is a miracle.

[victoria]

It's funny, this iis one of those posts of yours that provokes a really strong response in me. I really, really feel that Patrick should leave the convenient conventional school where he is contentedly treading water and go to the magnet school pronto.

Yes, it's inconvenient, yes, it'll be awkward for Patrick, and yes, he'll be lonely for a while -- but he will adjust, faster than you think, and he will be much happier.

[parodie]

When I was a bit older than Patrick (grade 5, I think) I was having a very miserable year at school and my parents switched me to another school (mitigating issues, they were planning on switching me anyway, yada yada yada). I found the switch surprisingly easy, and I thrived (throve?) in the new setting. It was great.

Decades later, I wonder if that switch taught me that when things get difficult I should change. On the other hand, I really was miserable, and I learnt lots of useful things in the new setting (like that it's possible to have friends - yay friends!). So, um, that's my experience.

[Ellie]

Caroline's face makes me laugh! She looks like the kind of trouble I like.

[Jan]

Another vote for the better school if your visit confirms your initial impression that it's a great fit for him.

And I'm with your first commenter. Finding your name bolded in my feed reader gives me a warm fuzzy tingle of anticipation (not that way) and I always, always save your posts for last the way I save a perfectly balanced bite of vanilla ice cream, gooey chocolate sauce and chewy brownie to be my last bite of food before the end of the meal.

[llcsis]

I burst out laughing at "Local boy chases hooligans..."

[Sarah]

I think I second Marsha above to say look forward a few years. In a non-gifted education issue - we delayed moving a year so my daughter could complete the 3 year Montessori kindergarten cycle. And I usually regret it. She had a miserable year for some other reasons and we weren't moving to another Montessori school so all of their flourishes were lost after the move.

Mid-year move sounds hard, but so does another whole semester of unhappy Patrick. If he even likes it a little bit and you don't see the closer school as a good solution long-term, I vote move.

Poor Patrick and his $11. And I am with you with the yay! antibiotics!.

[Elizabeth]

There's pro and cons to both situations besides the ones listed there. I was in magnet middle school and a regular high school, but advanced classes. I loved the classes and people more like me that I met in the magnet/advanced classes. However, in high school there were classes that were required that were not tracked (random mix of all abilities), and it was a great lesson in making friends/interacting with people who have other skill sets than you.(for example, making friends with someone who can build a robot out of scrap metal, but can't write an essay). Also, as my dad would say, it is "character building" to have to do stuff that is boring and that you already know just because the teacher assigns it. See what Patrick's view on the whole thing is. I feel like you can't go wrong either way.

[Betty M]

Difficult one particularly if it means the twins spend 2 hours a day in a car with no discernable benefit to them. Depends on whether it is a teacher/support issue for this year or a school issue which will last for more years to come. If it is a school issue then he probably ought to move to avoid boredom and disatisfaction with school generally. To counter that there is an advantage to being within a school which has all varieties of kids and not just super bright ones for social reasons as long as the school does have the skills to keep the bright kids academically interested. So hard one all round.

[amelie]

I'm in the move him as fast as possible camp. I have lots of long boring stories about the "wrong" school situation - and I promise that all of them involve 2nd grade. We made my older one wait it out (the teacher kept saying that it would get better)and by the end of the year her quirky smartness, too grown up way of speaking, and too advanced books had made her bully bait. What was worse is that she got quieter and quieter, afraid to say something that would make her stick out. We moved the younger one as soon as the problems started and we are SOOOO glad we did. (And my kids are in different schools - not convienent, but we picked the school that was the right "fit" for each child). As an added benefit, we found that the interesting quirky kids at the new schools have interesting quirky parents and that we ended up making friends! The kids are high school and junior high age now - are top students, have smart friends and are HAPPY!!!

[Dawn]

"... and I said snuh... "

And I nearly blew coffee across my monitor. PERFECT description of nasal distress.

I think after Wednesday's visit, you'll know. Chances are, the move is the right thing to do.

I had the opposite problem - a kid with a learning disability. We moved her to the adjusted stream (on the recommendation of many "professionals"). BAD MOVE. It has changed the course of her life for the worse. Always go for the challenge.

[Corrie]

I left my elementary school - where I had started as a happy kindergartner and been ever since - three quarters of the way into my fifth grade year. They moved me across town to a German immersion class (I spoke no German), and it still improved my quality of life about a hundred fold.

If Patrick is really unhappy, and it's not getting better with you guys making his needs known, I vote GO.

[SarahB]

One of the biggest challenges gifted kids face is learning how to learn. They can get used to everything coming easily and have worse study habits, etc, and avoid items that pose a real challenge for them (I say this from experience). Getting Patrick into an environment that will regularly challenge him sooner rather than later will help him learn how to really use his gift--and not just use it to coast along in an unchallenging environment. I think I coasted pretty much from 1st through 8th grades, and that wasn't good for all involved. I realize there are emotional pieces involved too, so I'm crossing my fingers that you and Patrick have a good experience with the visit.

[Shandra]

I would definitely examine the school first in person but I pretty much vote for the move, although it will be hard on the driving schedule for sure (and to do the move on the cusp of snow! Brave!)

I had such a horrendous experience in public elementary, starting in - yes - grade two and such a lovely experience in private high school with friends that did not mind if I wanted to obsess on Chaucer for a few months.

It's not so much about the intellect (although that too) as the tribe. In the public school their solution was to a) send me to the library or b) make me a junior teacher and it was really not good because both divorced me from the actual work of the group and all that.

Anyways, I know things are different now these days but if it's not working - change it. Patrick may not like the change but the change will come one day; might as well be today. IF you like the school in person. :)

[KatieV]

A quick comment without reading the others (sorry). I have experience in the child-in-speech-therapy arena. Perhaps evaluation reports are different in your state, but ours in CA often list the percentage as the amount the child is behind (not as a percentile). Does that make sense? For us, if the child is 30% or greater behind, he/she qualifies for services/therapy. Could that be what your report is saying? (Forgive me for saying you might have read it wrong. You've probably read the report 10 times and most likely read the numbers the correct way; I'm mentioning all this just in case.)

[Jody]

"Not having a great year" is not enough for me to offer any meaningful advice. You've written before about taking the school situation one year at a time. As you look ahead, do you think this is the bellwether for how things are going to develop, now that you've crossed certain thresholds? Or is it a one-year thing?

Two hours a day in the car, with or without toddler twins, also gives me pause. Yes, it's crucial that Patrick get the education he needs, but it's also crucial that Edward and Caroline get the education THEY need, and two hours a day in the car is no more optimal for a toddler than a boring classroom is for a profoundly gifted second grader. Figuring out that balance is part of what keeps you on your toes.

Maybe the decision will be easier once you've seen the school.

[melissa in NY]

Change schools!

[Stephanie O]

My son (6 1/2) loves Chess Kids: http://www.chesskids.com/kidzone/index1.shtml. It's a series of lessons that starts from how to move the pieces and quickly moves on to more fun strategy and puzzles. Although Emmett loves to do the lessons, when faced with an actual game he is paralyzed by the possibilities and doesn't want to play, so we're working on that.

Good luck with the school decision - maybe the visit and his reaction will male it obvious. My son went to a Spanish immersion program ~25 minutes away, and my husband took him and I picked him up, which wasn't so bad for either of us.

Caroline is priceless. Sleepy indeed!

[L.]

My thoughts on schools are neither here nor there, so I'll just say Hey! My great-grandfather was at Los Alamos! (You and I are not very far apart in age, but I think my great-g. was on the older side for the personnel there.) Talk about an equivocal family legacy...

Lovely post as always. I agree with Jan--I always set aside time to savor your posts.

[Lara Hanlon]

Hey, I'm asking my mom for advice about your schooling situation - that might be weird, but she was a kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grade teacher for 30 years (not all at once, but a kindergarten teacher for a portion and a 1st grade teacher for...oh, you know) and is one of the smartest, most insightful people I know, so....I'll see what she thinks, for what's it's worth.

[jen]

this is a tangential reply, and possibly a dumb question, but does Patrick's current school have a chess club? any chance you or Steve want to start one? The chess program in our district is fabulous, mostly parent-run, and does a lot to keep smart kids, esp boys, engaged and social.

Unless the current school is awful (Patrick's skills are deteriorating, his work habits are going downhill, and/or he's really miserable) and looks awful next year too, and unless there's no chance he can have a slot in the new school next year, I vote for not adding more disruption to your days just now. But as Jody said, it's hard to say without more details.

[Karishma]

your children are adorable. your writing is amazing. i was laughing so hard.

re: patrick - if the school will challenge him, it's 100% worth it.... i, along with several ppl i know, have life-long study habit/education discipline issues that come from not being challenged enough during our school years. i essentially do not know how to take notes in class - i've only filled out more than one page of a notebook in my life, and that was for organic chem. i've often looked at ppts for the first time 16 hours before an exam, b/c i just can't make effective progress if i actually start beforehand, what with all the procrastination. it's terrible. put him in a challenging environment where he will actually have to learn how to do these things, it will serve him in life well.

[MFA Mama]

Hmmm to the speech assessment. My developmentally-delayed now-five-year-old STILL has some speech issues, but "tests" as "advanced" in expressive language which...HOW, exactly? I think perhaps the speech pathologists have an unfair advantage in that they've been TRAINED to understand the gabble whereas most laypersons (parents sometimes included, to my great shame--dunno about you but people ask me to translate sometimes and give me reproachful looks when I say I have NO idea what the child just said which, well, really, did you HEAR him?) are flummoxed by vowels-only communication and "Dthuthuh" for...well, pretty much anything, really.

[Shandra]

Jody's point about the twins is excellent; I admit I have a bias that each parent does one drive so I hadn't thought of it in those terms.

[Jo in Boston]

I agree with bored now equals lazy later. My fifth grader has learned that he can slide by with little effort though music lessons are helping this somewhat. In some ways I can't blame him--I'd be tearing my hair out if I had to do his spelling homework, too. I also teach a math class for the 24 top fourth graders in the district that I teach in and it's wonderful watching really bright kids finally working on projects at their level--every day they tell me that this is the best time of day and that it can't be time for math to be over, they just got there (an hour and 15 minutes after class started). I think it's just as frustrating to be held back as it is to be in over your head. I also know that second grade can be the lost year in school--it's a chance to practice first grade skills in math (the only really new material is regrouping) and become reasonably fluent in reading--and because of this it tends to be where some of the worst teachers end up. Have I confused you enough yet?

[daysgoby]

Is there a bus run for the new school you could meet? I went to a gifted/progressive/newfangled school for fourth grade - I rode the bus to my old school, then went with the junior high kids (much less scary then it sounds) to their school, where a bus from the new school picked me up...it sounds complicated, but I was only on the bus for forty-five minutes, and it was great that I switched....

[Pam L]

I think you have to go with your gut. Change is hard, but really easier at this age then say in High School. We put my olest in a gifted charter school for middle school, but not totally for the right reasons. Part of the reason is I was afraid for him, literally, to go to the middle school to which he was assigned by the district. The other half was because I thought he might flourish being with kids more like him in interests etc. For us, and mostly for him, it was probably not the right place, but by the time we figured this out he was in year 2 of the 3 years of middle school and we didn't want to pull him out and move him to someplace else, especially since we didn't know where that would be. Early on I think it would be OK, but for my son , because he was only with gifted kids he got kind of an elitist attitude thinking he would have an easier ride because he was so smart. In the end, it didn't work out that way for him. I'm not saying this is the case for Patrick. When it came to son #2, I didn't even have him tested because I felt it would be better to have him take accelerated classes in the regular school. But, like I said, you have to go with your gut. The 1/2 hour drive each way does weigh heavily too.

[Melanie]

Recently I was consulted about a situation involving five year old twins. The girls are extremely bright, and therefore bored out of their minds in regular kindergarten. The choice offered was to stay in kindergarten with their friends or move to 1st grade where they might be less bored. Their mother was aghast that they might not be in the same class as their friends anymore, and refused to consider moving them. Eventually, the children refused to even attend school anymore, and she agreed to TRY 1st grade instead.

They've been blissful ever since.

I think Patrick may not like the initial change, but a boy with his brilliance deserves a school that challenges him. I think he will eventually be thrilled with the new school, and that's what matters.

Just my .02.

C&E are absolutely precious as usual.

[Kate (Bee In The Bonnet)]

Just a bit of my own experience with changing classrooms (or not) mid-year. I was happily plugging along at a special elementary school down the street from where my dad taught junior high, but after having an entire school year with either strep throat or bladder infections (something about a systemic bacterial imbalance, said the doctor) very likely caused by the rotting old buildings in which classes were housed, AND owing to my idiotic desire as a seven-year-old to ride the school bus, my parents let me go to third grade at the local elementary to which I was routed by virtue of where our house was located (rather than the one closest to dad's school). I was so excited to get picked up by the school bus that first morning. And then, I found out how dumb that was, that buses smelled bad and the drivers were mean, and the big kids were loud and pushy, and the seats were lumpy.

Anyhow, that new school was AWFUL. The teachers were extremely conservative, and I was bored, bored, bored. So bored was I that I ended up getting kicked out of the special-smart-kids program at that school because even in that environment, they couldn't come up with anything worth focusing on for more than the 3-5 minutes it took me to finish said project or worksheet or whatnot.

In my original school, I was sent to the advanced reading and math classes for the next grade up so that I could be challenged as necessary, but the new school didn't put up with nonsense like that.

And I was miserable. I had no friends. I actually had active enemies that left me completely friendless and rejected by all social circles because I was a bit, er, precocious (to put it nicely). I hated it. I ended up in special testing at the local university to make sure that I hadn't suddenly gone stupid in the last year because my grades fell so far (they found instead that my IQ was quite high, but my eye-hand coordination was on par with the average three year old... no future in archery for me! Oh, and they found that I had lied when I told my parents that I was distracted by the noise in the classroom, because when they ran the test to determine if that was one of my problems, I figured out what the test was trying to do and purposely missed every question they asked... but I digress...).

Anyway, mid-year, my mom ran into the principal from the original school and told her of some of the troubles I was encountering. And the principal begged my mom to send me back to the original school.

And so, my parents consulted me-- did I want to move mid-year? And I, for whatever masochistic reason, asked to stay where I was. I still don't know why I did that. Even as a child, I was reasonably logically minded, but that decision process escapes me. I don't know if I thought it would miraculously get better, or if I was scared of things being possibly worse at original school-- I don't know.

But what I do know is that my parents should have dragged my a$$, kicking and screaming if necessary, back to original school. I appreciate the fact that my parents regarded me with some degree of maturity and autonomy (I was the only child for 7 years, so I was pretty used to being treated as one of the grown ups, sort of), BUT that was really one of those moments where they needed to look at the greater need, which was for me to be in a more supportive academic environment, and out of an environment in which I was suffering. I did not need to be respected. I needed to be encouraged and enriched, and that was not an option at the school I was then attending.

It did a number on my self-esteem to endure that kind of absurdity from my teachers and peers at that new school. I didn't fully recover until I was in high school (back in another magnet program, for what it's worth). It felt great to be among a whole bunch of people who were all geeks like me, who thought it was cool to be smart and outspoken. And it was about a 30 minute drive from door-to-door (one way). I woke up at 5 a.m. to catch the bus at 5:15 (on days when I didn't have swim team), until I was a junior and could drive myself. It sucked for my mom if I missed the bus and had to be driven to school, but it was the best environment possible for me.

So. If reading all of this is too tedious, the summary is that in my opinion, Patrick's distaste for change shouldn't weigh too heavily on your decision, even though he is a mature, thoughtful sort of fellow. You know what is best for him in the long run, and if his current school isn't cutting it, I'd suggest changing him, especially if the other school is excited to have him as a student.

[Pam L]

Oh, and I just read SarahB's coment about the gifted kids not learning how to learn, or study. Same experience with my son. Things were too easy for him for so long. It's hard to explain to other parents whose children are not tagged as gifted that it doesn't mean they are the best students, they just learn differently. I tried to explain this to another mom while our sons were in an {ahem} mandatory intervention program for behavioral problems. Things like getting caught smoking in school gets you "invited" and if you go to the 3 classes they tear up the ticket (school resource officer)That is not what my son did, but it was a similar one time thing and this other mom couldn't believe what school my son went to and still ended up there. He was a.....challenging one , my first.

[Nicky at Not My Mother]

This is such an interesting topic and I am bored at work so I keep checking it. I'm wondering, do the kidlets HAVE to come with you when you take Patrick to and from school? Yes 2 hours in the car every day is too much but they also have 2 parents, so maybe a bit of rejigging of schedules will allow you to do one run, Steve the other, (or you do both) and whoever's left entertains the kids for an hour.

Also, boredom *might* be character-forming, but it's also trouble-forming and could put Patrick off school and learning for good.

OK better go do some work.

[KarenT]

Change schools.

[Sandra]

I agree that you should move him provided that your visit to the school proves it to be as wonderful as you think it is now.

I am a speech pathologist. "Expressive Communication" is a subtest of *The Preschool Language Scale-4* that measures a child's use of expressive language. I would be willing to be that the SLP who assessed Edward used that test. At his age it would be looking at things like: how many words does he consistently use, can he use words for a variety of functions, does he verbalize with appropriate intonation, etc. This is completely different from speech intelligibility/articulation. A child can have completely normal language skills but still have speech (articulation) skills way below average - as Eddie-bear's would be if he is only using vowels.

[Minneapolismama]

I'm dealing with school issues with my son, who is Patrick's age and gifted, too. I'm not sure what the answer is, but I say you'll know a lot more after you visit the school, and I'd add that I don't think there's any advantage in waiting if a change seems right.

[Elin]

Re: Edward...have you thought at all about the propensity twins have for creating special languages? Almost seems as though Edward and Caroline understand each other just fine. Maybe he's using his "special language" with the entire family? He's obviously very bright, and I certainly don't want to discount the opinion of specialists, just wanted to throw that out there.

Or another thought - Caroline is obviously very verbal, maybe Edward hasn't developed his vocabulary as much as she because he doesn't have to yet - she's always there to interpret for him.

I think if it were me, I'd keep my eye on the situation, but not totally stress out about it yet. You said the tests show his vocab as "average" (Gasp - average? The horror!)