My Cash Drawer

I have watched enough Tom & Jerry to last me the rest of my natural life so it is not surprising that I am thinking in cartoon visuals. Right now I am picturing a dust cloud and from it emerges a white flag on a stick. Sure this indicates surrender but it also implies survival. Like when Francis Scott Key was so pleased to see the Stars and Stripes still waving over Baltimore's harbor and the British looked at the same flag and said, "Oh bother" and promptly sailed down to DC and torched the place.

Like that. I feel like that.

Patrick and I were talking about disease in general and viruses in particular. I told him that one of the major differences between a bacterial infection like the one he had during the summer and a virus such as the one that just leveled our family like a field of corn is that bacteria are alive and viruses are dead. For the record my entire knowledge of biology can be summarized by a plethora of these random, unrelated and not fully understood bullet-points: Viruses are dead and shaped like needles, maybe! The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell! Kingdom phyllum family order (or is it order family) class genus species! Hydrogen helium lithium beryllium boron carbon nitrogen oxygen fluorine neon!

It almost goes without saying that I did not do very well in biology. In fact, that final D was generous.

But Patrick doesn't know this so I am able to lecture him with a straight face on the relative suckitude of viral vs bacterial infections. You know, it is lovely to see the respect with which he treats my discourses (my biology teacher never managed to get much beyond pity) and even lovelier to hear him synthesize what I tell him into his own random cue cards:  "So, basically, viruses are like zombie germs?"

And I said, yes, yes that is exactly right.

So hello from the far side of Zombieville.

I have been trying to decide if I have any H1N1 wisdom to share for when you get it (and you will get it) but it's such a funky illness that it is hard to characterize.

Patrick returned to school today after being out all week and half of last week as well. It's second grade. Big deal if he misses - well, all of it really as far as I'm concerned. He wasn't deathly ill but he would spike a fever every afternoon and he was lethargic and coughing a lot. So he stayed home and it wasn't until yesterday when I discovered him placing large plastic bowls over Caroline's head which he then proceeded to bang with a ladle that I realized he really needed to return to the bosom of his little school chums. Edward started a delicate cough on Sunday night which was all I needed to break out the Tamiflu and I am so glad I did. By Monday morning he was a small disaster: high fever, rashy, horribly congested, screaming and screaming and screaming. He spent a day sitting on my lap with both his blankies, a pacifier which prior to this has been a bedtime only indulgence and one hand wrapped in my hair. Tuesday he was a thousand times better and now he is completely well except for an inability to sleep through the night which is killing me. Last night I rocked him to sleep, gently transferred him to his crib, slammed to the floor when he stirred in hopes that he would not see me, crept on my stomach toward the door and then... gently rocked him to sleep again when he sat up and started howling. Caroline also started Tamiflu on Sunday, largely because Edward did and there is virtually no way for Edward to have a virus that Caroline does not also host. They sit across from each and push their cups and forks back and forth and just the other day I watched Caroline walk over to where Edward was reading and she licked his face. Why? Why not, I guess. She never got a fever, by the way, just a stuffy nose.

Steve, of course, was fine although this did not prevent him from drinking copious amounts of herbal tea and lying down with his book every few minutes. An ounce of prevention I guess.

Enough about the flu. I am done with the flu.  

So want to hear one of my favorite stories? I wonder if I have told you this one before. Probably.

A person of my acquaintance who is a Big Deal at his place of employment once decided to treat, oh I don't know, let's say the accounting department, to lunch at the completion of a particularly arduous project. So he had someone order pizza and when it arrived he went to the young man who was in charge of petty cash and said, "Hey, give me a couple hundred dollars from petty cash so I can pay for some pizzas."

And the petty cash guy said, "No."

"No?"

"No. You haven't filled out a request and it hasn't been signed by Even Bigger Deal so, no, I am not giving you money from the cash drawer."

The person of my acquaintance was annoyed, one might say irked, and heatedly asked the guy, "Look, do you know who I am?"

"I know who I am."

"And who are you?"

"I'm the guy who is in charge of the cash drawer so... I guess that makes you the guy who isn't getting any cash."

Every time I think about this I laugh and every time my mother and I are talking about someone who has their own particular field of interest we say, "Well, you know, everybody's got their cash drawer... ."

Speaking - loosely - of jobs I have an idea for another article I might want to try to sell but I need some help from you. Remember a couple of weeks ago when I asked if you liked your job? A couple of comments made me tingle a bit and I would like to revisit that question. Specifically, could you leave me a comment or email me if the thought of what you (or a friend - it's always nice to refer a friend) do for a living (or a partial living) makes you pink with pleasure or you can say the words 'dream job' without rolling your eyes? You don't have to be making a fortune or anything, I just want to talk to people who find joy in what they do.

PS

Pre-influenza pictures:

We went to pick pumpkins. I said, "Patrick! Please keep Edward out of the parking lot."

His hand shot out and he proceeded to use Edward's hood like a leash. I admit it was effective.

 

Patrick took his pumpkin very seriously.

 

Sometimes Caroline and Edward seem more like twins to me than others

Hope you are well.

Comments

[Korinna]

Your, "(and you will get it)" was particularly ominous.

And probably very accurate.

Oooff.

[Ellie]

Try not to think too seriously that you are done with the flu. Sorry. But everyone I know who has had H1N1 (rather a scarily lot of folk, grammar be damned), including my three tater-tots and I (who each had a different level of illness to begin with), have all experienced a return and then return, in this sort of dwindling spiral, of symptoms/illness. Juuuust when you think you (or your child) is better: wham!! For a couple of days. Then you're well. Until the third round, this one milder than the second. It's a weird, weird thing this flu. Also, it seems to be leaving everyone (most everyone? everyone who has expressed an opinion?) utterly drained for a long, long (long) time after.

[KatieV]

I too have done the gently-lay-sleeping-child-in-crib-and-then-slam-to-the-floor-when-he-awakes dance. Yes, even the crawling out the door. That's when I rrrreally hate our creaky doors. :)

[Jen]

So, I really, really, really love my job. I think I am the luckiest person ever. But I don't think anyone else is going to be that enthralled to hear about it...

I'm a professor at a medium sized university. I love my research, I love teaching and I love having a completely flexible schedule for my family. My colleagues are great and our campus is right by the ocean, overflowing with bunnies, plus quite a few deer and bald eagles. It is a wonderful place to work. But it is not exactly unusual or intriguing, which is probably what you are looking for.

Good luck getting over the flu! And thanks for continuing to write the BEST BLOG EVER.

[Sarah]

I'm sorry you were all felled by the flu. One week long bout of roseola in the boy 6 weeks ago and I was begging for mercy. Yucky.

And the kids are adorable. My boy has the same jacket and i just love the ears on the hood. There is something so silly about it.

[beyond]

i don't mean to be horribly insensitive, but was there an official h1n1 diagnostic? it's just that so many people say they have swine flu -because they know someone who did, because they think they recognise the symptoms- but they are really diagnosing themselves. how is a non-professional to know the difference between different kinds of flu? sorry, this is my new pet peeve.
(please don't take this personally.)
i really hope you all feel better soon.

[jen]

Oooh. Yeah, I actually want to just get it and get it over with. Is that bad? But it seems like we've started in on the usual cold season and so now every fever I think "Is this it?" Anyway, glad to hear you are all feeling better.

Just last night I had a middle of the night call and every. single. time. I got close to the door (three times) I'd get a chorus of what brought me there in the first place. What finally worked? I very gently, in a quiet soothing tone said "Carter, it's time to go night night. Mommy needs to go night night too okay? You're okay so it's time to go night night again, alright. Love you."
Boom, made it out the door. I am really enjoying this communication thing.

[shriek house]

And here I'd spent my life thinking that viruses (virii?) more resembled tiny Sputniks...

That petty cash story is priceless. As are your pumpkin-fetching offspring.

[terri c]

Viruses are dead? Like zombies? I didn't know, honestly. But then why are there "live virus" and "killed virus" vaccines? It's confusing and I am old today. SO glad they are better. Oh and BTW I am a hospice chaplain and I LOVE IT, I have never, ever been so happy in my work. Poor however.

[Tine]

So good to read of your survival! Whew. :)

Now, I shall stick my fingers in my ears (eyes?) so I don't have to pay attention to the part where you say, "And you will get it." Due to obsessive-compulsive research and one incredible stroke of luck, I managed to get H1N1-vaccinated yesterday. If, after all that, I get the damn swine flu, I'm gonna be one cranky bitch.

[Kate]

Your pumpkin pictures made me realize that even though you are in MN you may not have seen the Bears at the Zoo and their pumpkin on Youtube. It is great:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYjO3QHUEmY

[Maggie]

So happy to hear from you! Sounds like the flu sucks sucks sucks and I think I will take my doctor cousin up on her H1N1 vaccine offer...

I really love my job, is what I normally say, but now that you've made me think about it, I think I really love the lifestyle if gives me (flexible, low-stress, not much contact with the public... only very nice, down-to-earth clients, and satisfying technical work that I am good at). So I think it doesn't fit your criteria.

If it makes you feel any better, you know a lot (a lot) more than I do about biology....

[Ali]

I got the flu over 3 weeks ago and I am STILL coughing and congested. Right when I finally think I am better, another wave comes. It's not a secondary infection, just residual flu, so I wholeheartedly agree with the other posters who have said it keeps coming back. Also, as far as I am aware, it is a little bit controversial about whether viruses are alive. They have some of the characteristics of life (they reproduce, for example) but not others (they don't metabolize and can't reproduce without hijacking another cell). So when they say that vaccines have "dead" viruses, they just mean they are ones that have lost the ability to actually attack your cells. As for the official H1N1 diagnosis, everyone should realize that if you go to the doctor, he will NOT actually test you for specific strains unless there are extenuating circumstances. I volunteer in an ER and of all the hundreds of people who come in freaking out because they want to know if they have swine flu, 99% of them go home with nothing but a "You're just fine. Drink fluids and sleep" and an unnecessarily large medical bill. The swine flu is no more severe than the regular flu, but more people are getting sick this year because it is a very different strain than strains in recent years, so nobody really has any immunity to it at all. Doctors will typically diagnose you with swine flu just because that is the most likely case, not because they have actually done a blood test to find out. So for anyone who is annoyed with people saying they have swine without a doctor's official diagnosis, know that in almost all cases, the doctor's guess on what type of flu is just as good as the patient's.

[juliaa]

i very much like the idea of zombie germs.

(nb i was a biochem major and i think that viruses are much much worse than bacteria. unless the bacteria are spirochetes. those little buggers are nasty)

my mother has this idea that everyone should love their job, if they work hard enough and get a good education. in some ways, she's not so very connected with the real world. i told her once that it was very cool to hear the way she talked about her job, because not everyone has that. her response, instead of taking a compliment, was to say that ppl that don't like their jobs are lazy whiners. oh, mom.

but she does love her job--she's a grad school professor. she loves her field, she loves her students, and she's enough of a honcho that she can have all sorts of fun.

[Lise]

Delurking to comment...that sounds like the same flu that has been hanging around our house!

Also, I adore my job - teaching science to 8th graders by day...teaching college elementary education majors how to teach science by night! It's a great switch from one to the other and both keep me on my toes. I definitely don't make much money or I wouldn't be doing 2 jobs, but I love them just the same. How many people actually feel like they are going to work to play every day? :)

[Kristin]

The flu sucks. Hope y'all feel better soon.

[girl in greenwood]

I'm a nurse at a big public hospital, in a medical/surgical/cardiac unit. I love my job. Except for when I hate my job. But mostly I love my job.

[Denise]

I like my job! I've just moved into a management role so we'll see how I like it a few weeks down the road. Ask me anything!

[Aunt Becky]

I have the Hamthrax and all that is keeping me sane is the image of a man walking up and down my street with a large bell yelling, "BRING OUT YOUR SWINE."

It's not very funny unless you're as sick as I am.

Also, I have no job. Except I write about sex. Which is a job, I guess.

[www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=586340070]

I love love love my job. I am an adjunct professor and a therapist. I"m just getting started, so I'm poor as Job's turkey (it's a sayin' here in the South...google it!). Yet, I love what I do. The only way it could be better is when I get that full time professorship and can focus on clinical work one day a week and teach the others.

I love teaching, doing therapy, doing psychological assessments...all of it! It's a good thing, too, after 7 (SEVEN!) years of graduate school.

Yay!

[Stacy]

I love my job! I'm a public interest lawyer (until this afternoon I said "I work at a legal clinic," but I just found out I passed the bar!) and it is exactly what I wanted to do and the clients and coworkers are great and we work half-day Fridays. And we all got free swine flu vaccines (because we share an office with a health clinic and there are sick people all over, so maybe that's not quite a perk).

Also, to remember classification, remember Ken Poured Coffee On Fran's Good Shirt: kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species.

[Beth]

I have one of the most loved/hated jobs there is. I am an EMT on an ambulance... I love/hate the 24hr shifts that approximate 10 days of working a month. I hate waking up at all hours but love when I truly help someone on the worst day of their life. I hate that I see so much pain and suffering but love to hear success stories and appreciate my life. Don't know if that helps... if not, just know that I LOVE your blog.

[Jessica]

Pink with pleasure. Dream job.

I bake cakes for a pub. I got the job by giving them a really good cake, and my phone number.

On the side I embroider swear words onto stuffed animals.

I love my life. Feel free to ask me anything, if I can help with your project.

[txmama]

I love my job too, and like Jen I am a professor (untenured as of yet) at a small, private, highly selective liberal arts school. And teaching there is just about as fabulous as you picture when you think, you know, of professors in elbow patches surrounded by adoring students, sitting the sunny quad, and such.

My colleagues are warm, my department is family-friendly, we have daycare on campus, and I have incredible flexibility in when I work. I also get great fulfillment out of my research.

Yes, I slaved away for lots of years in graduate school and in a postdoctoral fellowship -- and I got very lucky to land a tenure-track job in this economy -- but it was worth it.

Life is good.

[txmama]

p.s. unlike Jen, my campus is not, sadly, overflowing with bunnies. But, it IS overflowing with squirrels.

[Amanda P.]

I think I want Jessica's side job....

Unfortunately, I like, but don't usually LOVE, my job. Sadly, I can't think of any of my friends who LOVE their jobs.

Stacy - thanks for the classification system order. I was going to help Julia with it, but you beat me to it!

[Helen]

It certainly is nice to hear that everyone is feeling better. It's also refreshing to learn new things from your blog, like the thing about the viruses. Those darn viruses.

[Trish]

I am praying so hard that I don't get the flu. I have a five year old in kindergarten and a 2 1/2 year old who stays with my mom. I am also a teacher and pregnant as a gestational surrogate. I'm sure that I WILL get the flu, either from my school aged child or from one of my students.

BTW- I teach science. Viruses can also be shaped like spheres, diamonds, and even spacecraft- and it's kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species :) (King Philip came over for grape soda.)
I totally would not remember any of that, however, if I did not teach it year after year, after year, after year,..........

[Deanna]

I *loved* my job as marketing director of a real estate magazine, but when the economy suffered a worldwide pantsing my job went along with it. Now the baby is my job and I submit freelance articles here and there for fun and to pad my Diet Coke fund (because it surely does not cover much else). I love the baby and it's nice to have a boss I can put in time-out, so that's something.

[TeacherMommy]

Some days I love my job (teaching HS English) and then there are days, like today, when the students are lucky to make it out of my classroom alive.

And I swear to God, if the heiny flu gets me or my kids and makes my already complicated life and super-crappy November any worse, SOMEONE WILL PAY.

Glad to know things are on the upswing in your household. I've been missing your words.

[Jen]

I really love my job. But it's not so unusual or interesting that it would make a good magazine article - I'm a social worker and I work with people with renal failure. In all stages, but mostly those on dialysis. It's flexible and fulfilling....but extremely financially unrewarding.

I'm very sorry y'all were sick, but glad to hear you're feeling better!

[Pam L]

I love my life, which is my job because we run a business that potentially runs 24/7, a small sedan limo service, meaning corporate travelers mostly, not proms and party cars. So yeah, I love the life, not so much the actual work part of it. It's not bad work, taking reservations, doing the books etc, but every call I take for a reservation is money in our pockets so you see the rewards of your work first hand. We also employ 3 others so contribute to the economy, so to speak , so they can support their families too, so there's that. But the best part is, I work at home. My office is 10 feet from my bedroom door. I have been working at home for 16 years which has made it possible for me to be here for my two boys growing up , never had to miss a school function, sports event etc. I just have to make sure the cell phone is on, at least vibrating, and I have phone numbers I may need. I start my work day in my pj's and can keep up with the house stuff to a good extent during the day so there's not piles to do at night or on the weekend. I did work outside the home for my oldest's first 7 years and was constantly running , exhausted, behind etc. and I even had a nice boss who understood families and motherhood. Being self-employed is not for everyone, but it has served us well for many years and we cannot get laid off or fired, which works for me.

[aly]

zombie germs? really? viruses are dead? but how... i... i'm perplexed. i dont get it. i also avoided taking biology so maybe that's my fault.

yay healthier children! (i love patrick, his letters obsession and the twinks, all things adorable . i'm so glad you are all ok)

there are a lot of professors/teachers! wow! well, i am neither a professor or teacher, but i am a prosecutor (in a mid size city) and i love my job. mostly. :) i'm happy to answer anything you need. :)

[Shawna]

Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species.

Want to know how I remember that?

Kids Put Condoms On For Good Sex.

[Patty]

You know what the best job is? When it feels effortless, challenging and even fun all at the same time. I run a innovative teaching initiative at a university and it's very stressful and exciting and everything in between. The best jobs, I have found, are the balance between the "tight rope" and the "feather bed" as Edith Wharton put it.

[Tricia]

Glad to hear everyone is on the upswing. My 13 month old and I just got our H1N1 shots today. Fingers crossed.

I am lucky to say that I love my job. I am a Women's Health Nurse Practitioner. I work in a large urban teaching hospital with the Gyn Oncology team. Some days my job makes me sob my eyes out for the patients that we can't save, and other days I cry because we get to tell someone they're CURED of their cancer. It's hard (in a number of ways), yet rewarding and wonderful. I would love to help with your article if you think I can.

[Diane]

I love my job - I am a wedding officiant and work with couples to help them create the perfect ceremony for their day. I am so lucky - I meet wonderful happy couples (straight and gay) about to embark on a new life together and put their hopes and dreams into words for a unforgettable day. Happy people, writing important and meaningful words for them and then officiating the ceremony (satisfying the performer in me.) I only stay for cocktail hour (usually with great food) and am home in my pajamas before the dancing starts. Lucky me!

[sarah]

i love your childrens. they are so lovely.

i'm getting the vaccine, i'll let you know how that works out.

i love my job to my very core. i've never actually liked ANY job i've ever had until now. and to think i got it by pure luck... i suppose that's how everything good happens.

[jen w]

For the post/pet peeve that asked how you know it is H1N1, it is because over 95% of all influenza's right now are H1N1. We have not been seeing influenza A or B. And because it is so contagious they are assuming all influenza symptoms to be H1N1. And the symptoms are lingering longer than the typical flu. There are many reasons. Even a professional isn't going to test you, so a professional will tell you the same thing. You are a probable H1N1 case. It is the epidemic going around so it is safe to assume if you have flu like symptoms that you most likely have H1N1. You aren't going to get a test unless you are admitted to the hospital so does it really matter if people say "I have H1N1" or "I probably have H1N1". I am a ER RN and we have had MANY many pt with this, and they typically leave with a diagnosis of H1N1. So, a professional told them. I have all of the symptoms of these pt, and my son does as well. So, i'm assuming it's H1N1. What would you prefer people to say?? Why is that a pet peeve? I guess we can say influenza instead. Does it really matter???

[sarah]

zombie germs? really? viruses are dead? but how... i... i'm perplexed. i dont get it. i also avoided taking biology so maybe that's my fault.

yay healthier children! (i love patrick, his letters obsession and the twinks, all things adorable . i'm so glad you are all ok)

there are a lot of professors/teachers! wow! well, i am neither a professor or teacher, but i am a prosecutor (in a mid size city) and i love my job. mostly. :) i'm happy to answer anything you need. :)

Posted by: aly | November 06, 2009 at 07:44 PM

________________

oh, and viruses aren't 'dead' so much as don't have a body. they need your cells in order to replicate and go on...

[sarah]

and i'm not going to post again on this blog entry, i swear...

but i am the embryologist who's commented about being that before because it's been pertinent. not just because i talk about it all the time...

[Anjali]

As of tomorrow I'll be the only one in my family of 5 without the vaccine. I sure hope it works for them, and that I find it somewhere for me, too.

[Snarky Mommy]

Two felled by H1N1 here, two not. One, the husband, eluded it thus far because he's some freak immunity person who eats healthy and never gets sick. The other, the almost 2-year-old, avoided it by spending the night at Grandma's house the night before I came down with it, so she's been staying there ever since (five days!).

I am 34 weeks pregnant so I got Tamiflu right away and felt so much better the next day. The almost 4-year-old succumbed the day after I did and is on Day 3 of a 101-102 fever. It is ever so fun. We've watched non-stop PBS and Nick Jr. for three days. Someone please shoot me.

Anyway, all that to say the H1N1 can suck it. I was vaccinated 10 days before I got sick and my son was vaccinated four days before he got it. Vaccine FAIL. Ugh.

[Kristin]

Virus/dead: as I understand it, it's not so much that they're dead (which implies that they were once alive) as that "alive" (and consequently "dead") may not be the right term in the first place. As another poster explained, they have some characteristics of things that are alive, but lack others. It might be more accurate to say "non-living." If that's actually what they are, because, you know, the whole "some characteristics but not others."

Glad there's some recovery going on, and crossing fingers for more. =)

[Clarity]

Good lord, this week sucks the sucky tit of suckiness, I'm so sorry! Here's hoping it's not TRULY a zombie virus or if it is your trusty silver bullet Tamiflu has effectively decapitated it.

After years and years of working a 9-5 I’m finally doing what I love every day, now I'm just trying to make it pay me money instead of costing me money. Silversmithing and furniture restoration are kind of incongruous passions to have, but they're what I love and I love what I do. If I could do this for free and still keep the lights turned on and the fridge full of food I’d be happy as a clam for the rest of my life.

[ProfAnon]

ADORE my job. Can't believe I am lucky enough to have it.

I'm a professor in a research university. Love my students, love my research, love living a walk away from my work.

[jen w]

oh, I'm a trained engineer turned RN. I worked as an engineer for 6 yr stayed home with kiddos, then went back to school for nursing. I work 3 days a week and for the most part love the flexibility. Do I always love the job? No, but it gets me out just enough to feel I'm helping with finances as well as helping others. I work in a busy ER in the twin cities area.

[Trisha]

I am a biology teacher and I just can't help it, so here goes....viruses aren't really considered "dead" because to call them dead would be to imply that they were at one time living. Viruses aren't really considered living organisms either, however, because they do not display all of the classic characteristics that all other living organisms do. They are somewhere between a very complex, large molecule and an extremely simple living organism, but aren't quite either.

Obviously, I, too, love my job! I teach biology and chemistry, but I do it online. Homeschoolers take my courses via the Internet and I see them once a week for lab. It's awesome!

[Kirsten]

I am fairly new to a career working at the library, and while there are occasional frustrations, I recently realized that I really do enjoy my actual job quite a bit. Feel free to ask me questions.

And my variant is King Philip Came Over From Germany Swimming.

[Linda Sleichter]

I sadly will echo what Ellie said. At least, that is the case with our family. The two youngest are on their second round of antibiotic. They got the flu, then a secondary infection (pneumonia for one; ear infection for the other), then this week, a tertiary infection. I hope you don't follow suit!