Mostly Ditto

This post is being brought to you courtesy of the good people of Disney and a DVD that we own but Patrick refused to watch - ever - called Little Einsteins and the Something Something. It has sat in dusty obscurity for years but Caroline could watch paint dry (provided the paint was on a television screen, a devilment of which I have no doubt she is more than capable) and Edward likes Rocket, who he calls Air-pane. So I have a few minutes and a pox upon anyone who doubts the solid worth of judiciously applied animation. Patrick finally watched this with Caroline and Edward the other night, by the way, and when the irritating nasal girl who sings flat said, "Met-a-mor-pho-sis. Can YOU say... metamorphosis?" Patrick replied "Yes but why would I want to?" He had a point. It's a very silly show (although the line "Let's all clap for Rimsky-Korsakov! Clap clap clap!" is awesome.)  

I did not mean to stop communicating with the outside world but I now spend anywhere from two to three hours a day shuttling back and forth to/from Patrick's school and although I am pretty sure an hour of that is coming from time I formerly spent asleep, the rest of it is stolen directly from my stash of self-indulgence minutes. I miss sleep and sitting in a car for hours when I have guests coming and presents to wrap and phyllo to butter is enough to make a person weep... but it is not all bad.

As Patrick and I trundle along we get to talk about his day and my day and we listen to our book and that aspect of the commute is actually more pleasant than anything. After years of failing to understand the allure of recorded books I am now their devoted slave. This morning Patrick and I finished the second book in the Cressida Cowell Viking series (delightful - thank you for the recommendation) and after a few dull days in which I moped after Patrick had gone into school wondering why I had to wait for the boy to listen to the rest of the story I got the first of the Aubrey-Maturin series out of the library on CD and I listen to that in his absence. I am learning that books I like to read and those I like to have read to me are not the same thing. The O'Brian books, for example, I love but I think they are a little much to follow in the car. Something frothier would be better (suggestions appreciated) but the Regency with which I also idle away time is completely out of the question as I would die from embarrassment the first time the hero strips to the waist so maybe something less frothy than that (suggestions appreciated?)

On a normal day I should be able to drive Patrick and still function but the smallest setback - like Edward's four days last week of mysterious high fevers that resulted in his inability to nap and almost constant crying - leaves me surrounded by piles of unsorted laundry and pasta for dinner again. I'm sure we'll all adjust eventually but the last few weeks have been struggle.

In the meantime I have missed you and thought often of the things I would be telling you about if I only had access to space age voice recognition technologies or - failing that - a scribe. Like I have been dying to mention my amusment/irritation with these ridiculous midget traffic circles (or roundabouts as they call them in London and here in the eastern suburbs, also known as Littler Than London or the London of the Outer Edges of a Mediumish City in the Upper Midwest) that have recently been installed (erected?) all over our previously rural county. It's like Springfield and the monorail and I suspect some smooth-talking modern day Lafayette conned many a city council into turning four-way stops into the tiniest circles you have ever seen.

Two problems with this:

1. The distance between the spokes is at most ten feet so there is no way for a person to manoeuvre from lane to lane without squashing someone and;

2. This is Minnesota where people are not only nice but they need to be perceived as being nice; therefore it is a land full of drivers who are desperate to yield the right of way at all times

I grew up in DC (a well-circled city) and learned from my older brother that the only possible way to handle a traffic circle is as aggressively as possible, driving as fast as you can in the direction you want to go. I cannot tell you the number of times I have approached one of these itty-bitty farm circles during our new commute only to find all of the cars stopped - the ones trying to get into the circle and the ones trying to get out; all cheerfully waving their hands like idiots "You go ahead!" "Ohhhh no no, YOU go!"

I waver between wanting to pat their heads and wanting to smack the tuna salad out of them. Either way I take comfort in knowing that they'd get eaten alive trying to get onto the mean streets of Chevy Chase.   

My family is coming tomorrow and staying for the week. I am very excited but slightly overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things I have left to do before they come. Beds need to be made and towels need to be folded and we have no cookies or fudge and I thought I might try my hand at a yeast danish for Christmas morning and I have made all sorts of fillings for things that I have not yet made to fill.

So I'll wrap this up with a couple of pictures from yesterday and my very best wishes for a happy end to your year.

Edward taking 200% more interest in football than Patrick ever did

 

Edward's preferred tantrum (amusing I think. he's so... Prussian)

Caroline plotting something

Finally, a virtual card - although all three of them look a little deranged when happy (is it unloving to think that the seven year old toothy and yet toothless grin is slightly unpleasant?): Merry Everything to you and yours from me and mine

Comments

[Kristin]

I just had to comment about the teeth...my 3 year old son's grin is so creepy to me in recent pictures that I could hardly bear to order any from our recent Christmas Sears extravaganza. I am the worst mom ever. I just kept saying as I was scrolling through the options, "aren't there any with his mouth closed?" Horrible. But he's so cute in person (I think)!

[Lucy]

Julie - a very merry everything to you and yours too.

I just caught myself wondering... I wonder if some of Patrick's new-found cheerfulness that has been applied to 'new school love' shouldn't, instead, have been applied to 'extra special alone time with Mom love' instead?

Just a thought I had, that I had to share. Love every word you write - thanks for sharing so much with us.

Lucy

[Natalie]

Merry Everything to you, too!

[MsCellania]

Merry Christmas back to you.
I call our Roundabouts "The Circles of Hell". They are putting them in left and right (har de har har) and we, as a community, suffer from spurts of civility to dashes of rage. So, not to be entered lightly.
Hey, your guests could make the beds, fold the towels and hell - even do some baking! Tell them it's usual in the midwest...

[Lisame]

I think Patrick is adorable! Not at all creepy. As always, your children are beautiful and I do wish you a Super Season!

[Pam L]

Traffic circles are insane and definitely more difficult for the average suburban driver to maneuver than the 4 way stops where it': You were there first so YOU go, or, we both got there at the same time but you are to my right so YOU go. I actually saw a woman turn LEFT at a traffic circle that suddenly appeared on a back street for no apaprent reason, going backwards around the circle while our LESS than "nice" citizens all blared their horns at her, poor thing.
Also, don't bake and fill anything if you don't want to. Buy or accept anything someone else brings, they will understand.

[mesue]

Tantrum Prussian
Grandma Crushin'

Love it! And I'm so glad to hear from you. It's amazing how attached a total stranger can become to another's family. Thanks for the update.

We have those miniature traffic circles in our area (outside LA) only none of the various cities didn't get rid of the stop signs and there is only one lane. It's really just a circular planter in the middle of the road. Dumb!

"No, you go," "No, I'll wait, you go," my daughter calls politeness wars.

Merry Familytime to you. Thanks so much for the post.

[LMM]

So happy to hear from you. And as for the circles popping up all over MN like so many alien crop circles, I have only this to say:

"Look kids, Big Ben, Parliament!"

Merry, Merry Christmas to you and and yours and the other readers.

[Elizabeth]

I'm so glad you updated. I understand the holiday crunch. I really, really want to know what you ended up getting the kids for Christmas. So if you get a free moment before next Christmas, do tell.

[LRM]

After 5 years of living in Minneapolis we came up with this,

What's the difference between a 4 way stop and a family reunion in Minnesota?

A: Potato salad.

Have a happy and a merry! See ya next year.

[Lisa in Seattle]

Best wishes for the holiday and all the cooking, baking, folding, and family. And I hope you are not smothered in snow this evening!

[elise]

They claim the roundabout is much safer than any other intersection. However, I do not see the point in a single lane roundabout. No one signals so you don't know if they are exiting or continuing on. Of course I suppose a multi lane roundabout would mean merging and we know that no one in MN can do that. :>

[Helen]

Happy Holidays to you and your family too!

[Kristin]

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to you too!

I know what you mean about the change in schooling eating away your time. Homeschooling my oldest has thrown my schedule into total disarray.

[mama without instructions]

Lovely photos. My children look deranged when happy as well. What's one to do? Very happy (and hopefully a wee bit relaxing for you) holidays!

[Marsh]

I have missed you and was delighted to see your post today after a long absence. I am a high school English teacher and I can’t tell you what a joy it is to come home after a long day of correcting run-on sentences and comma splices to read your writing. I work unending hours at getting my students to write metaphors like: “(Edward) had become hot enough to fire pottery” and “when cinnamon swirl bread is baking it smells like all of the angels of heaven are making muffins in your kitchen.” Your wordsmith ability is like music to my soul. I also love Scrambled and have made and devoured almost everything you’ve posted. You inspire me. Thanks.

[Patti]

Do you like lighthearted fantasy? If yes, try the Terry Pratchet Discworld novels. They're a right smart send up of all kinds of things, from literary conventions and genres to social ills, evils and why-the-hell-do-we-do-that-anyways? I have listened to many of the series... Make sure you start with The Colour of Magic, though. It's the first and introduces characters that return in the first few books and then from time to time in the plethora that come after.

[Nicky at Not My Mother]

I grew up with roundabouts so you calling them "traffic circles" just sounds so endearing to me.

London's got some really big ones on the outskirts, with 6 or more streets going in and multiple lanes and even traffic lights (no Minnesotans there!), they terrified me. On the other hand my little estate where I lived put the tiny ones in instead of give way signs, and the only way they are differentiated is they are in normal asphalt while the road is paved with bricks (when no one's stolen them). So all us residents just drive right over the top,but my friend who actually works for the council CANNOT make herself do it and must drive painfully right round. It's really funny to watch, actually.

Merry Christmas, Julia, to all of you!

[Michelle]

I am so overcome by the overall adorableness of all your children that the toothy/toothless grin bothers me not one smidge. Even if I try to focus on the grin I am then distracted by that little tuft of hair on his head. *sigh* Gorgeous!

Merry, merry to you all. :)

[Brenna]

My 7-almost-8 year-old is currently in a stage of tooth loss/growth that makes him look like a vampire. He thinks it is hilarious; I am slightly skeeved.

[redfox]

I myself have been romping merrily through the Discworld books of late, but have to say that I liked them much better this time round, when I started with some of the later, more polished ones. Last time I tried beginning at the beginning and was not nearly so enticed.

[winecat]

Try traffic circles on a bicycle, no cars were allowed on the campus of UCDavis when I attended. Literally hell on wheels : )

I love that you have your children's personalities so nailed down. Three very individual, adorable small persons with three very distinct personalities.

By the way Edward's tantrum, priceless and how did you manage to snap of picture of Caroline without her devilish little twinkle in her eyes?

[Aunt Becky]

THIS is what I both love and hate about the Midwest (I'm from Chicago): the abject politeness. We spend so much time "I'm sorrying" and "after youing" that we never GET anywhere. EVER.

[MFA Mama]

Awww. Edward is so very pretty! Caroline too but...you know what I mean.

I have a kid who's lost the front teeth on ONE SIDE ONLY. Top and bottom. It makes me want to knock the others out for the sake of symmetry.

What, I said it with love!

[Rosemary]

Oh you are all a bunch of roundabout amateurs! :-) Here in Canberra (the national capital of Australia), we have them everywhere. Nice big roundabounts, little bitty roundabouts, three lane roundabouts, roundabouts connected to roundabouts...the Australian Parliament is in the middle of one giant roundabout! Anyway, if the whole population knows how to use them, they are much quicker than four way stops. (There has not been a four way stop in most parts of Australia in decades.)

I think the rationale (and the statistics appear to back it up) is that they are safer. It's something to do with side-on impacts are less lethal than front on impacts, and apparently it is harder to go straight through a roundabout than a four way stop.

And the joke from @LRM......priceless!

[beyond]

am in switzerland at the moment. roundabouts function really well here. (as in the rest of europe, although i don't know about england.) traffic flows so much better than with traffic lights or stop signs. maybe there are different roundabout regulations in the US? intriguing.
your kids are cute, toothy and toothless smiles and all. *MERRY CHRISTMAS* TO YOU AND YOURS.

[cee]

The talks with my mom during the long car ride home from school were always the best part of my day. :)

Merry Christmas!

[Sarah]

I love your references to DC traffic and roundabouts. I grew up (and currently live) in California, where we love stoplights and stopsigns. I moved to DC in my 20s and was shocked by all the roundabouts. My two favorites were those at Dupont Circle and on the Chevy Chase/DC border at Connecticut Ave. So death defying to make it to the other side!

Was Edward's fever a product of Roseola? My son had it several months ago and it was like that -- crazy crazy high temp, non-eating, super clingy, a tinge pukey, and quite cranky. Then poof, fever was gone only to be replaced by a minor rash.

Your kids are adorable as always. Enjoy the company and all the merry making.

[Anne]

Thanks for the update; again, it is amazing how attached one can get to a family you don't know in person. And I love your writing.
Maybe you want to experiment with Dragon Naturally Speaking? This program allows you to speak, instead of typing, your thoughts into your computer. I haven't installed mine yet, so I have no idea as to how easy or frustrating the installation, and actually getting comfortable with using the program, will turn out to be.

[Milah]

Oh how I despise roundabouts. Our mayor has decided they are the best thing since sliced bread and we now have a plethora of them. In fact, our suburb is hosting the 2011 National Roundabout conference.

Yes, there is such a thing. I was also astounded.

Apparently, there were "gasps of awe" when they were presenting the bid and it was found that we have 5% of the world's roundabouts. Now, we are not a big town, but a suburb, yet we beat out Seattle in hosting this. But we are clearly on the forefront of this as we have 60 roundabouts within 5 miles of the hotel where this conference is going to be held.

Yes, I do get dizzy when I drive.

I often listen to fiction I would not read on my drive because one does need something requiring less attention. My favorite things to listen to are biographies or memoirs.

[elana]

happy new year!

[QoB]

whereas I, coming from the Eastern side of the Atlantic and driving in NY state recently, was perplexed by this four-way stop system you people have going on. what, I have to pay attention to the order in which every car gets to the junction? bish please. Give me a nice two-lane roundabout any day.
That said, people who do not indicate when leaving roundabouts are the bane of my driving life, along with assholes in sports cars.

[katie]

living mere miles from the chevy chase circle you talk about, your brother is SO RIGHT. no one in minnosota could ever manage dupont circle, the traffic circle to beat all traffic circles.

[Sharon]

Randomly, I must comment on the 'smack the tuna salad out of them' line. Did you (or should I say Patrick, or maybe even Edward) read Leonardo the Terrible Monster? Ever since that book made its magical entrance into our lives, I always say, "You scared the tuna salad out of me!" when my kids startle me. I once even said it to the UPS man when he snuck (sneaked?) up behind me, and then nearly died laughing at myself, which just made the whole situation even more embarrassing.

[SarahB]

Having just moved back to DC after an absence, I was pleasantly surprised to find that my traffic instincts kicked right back into play. Ah, the adrenaline rush of living here! But, alas, I cannot talk on my cell phone to my mother while navigating these roads, as I did before. I miss talking to her so often.

Merry Christmas!

[Heather P.]

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to your family as well! Thank you for sharing the cutie pies!

[Anjali]

Very same to you and yours. The kids are simply adorable!

[Just Me]

Just so you know, if you run out of books on CD/selection at your library, there's a great service www.recordedbooks.com that is like a Netflix for audiobooks. I started using them after I listened to every single one my library had, some several times, and my library was unable to purchase anymore due to serious funding cuts that are threatening to close the only library for 20 miles around. Ugh, stupid economy. Regardless, the club is great and the selection is awesome. Prices aren't horrid.

[HereWeGoAJen]

Books on tape: Beware abridged. I bought one abridged book on sale thinking "how bad could it be?" It was. Don't do it. Unabridged only.

[Clarity]

OMG, LMAO to Michelle and Aunt Becky!! I also have a snaggle-toothed first grader...but just you wait till they're losing molars, those are SO MUCH more disgusting. They make a slurping sound when they wiggle them

[Kala]

That seven-year-old's grin is gorgeous and perfect, and you can see he's going to grow up into a total hottie. I love all the pictures you post--keep it up. These kids are cuter than a basket of baby ducks.

[Sarah]

Merry Christmas to you and yours. Have fun with the family.

I am frustrated by our local roundabouts. Half the people just stop and half the people never even yield when you are right in the lane. The latest stats I've seen back up the less serious accidents, but far more fender bender type, non-injurious accidents. A continuum of better?

[bethany actually]

I laughed out loud at "smack the tuna salad out of them," although I submit that "smack the tuna casserole out of them" might be more appropriate for Minnesotans.

Merry Christmas to you guys too! I hope you enjoy the time with family, hectic as it promises to be. :-)

[Alexis M]

Merry Christmas!
As a New Jerseyan, I have no sympathy for anyone navigating traffic circles. We do not believe in left turns here! I live near a town called Cherry Hill and its traffic circle decimates anyone in it's path. I believe it's the 7th layer of Hell.

I do have sympathy for you navigating the circle with a half a thousand people who have no clue what in the hell they're doing.

[kris (lower case)]

i listened to the whole harry potter series until the last one (i was late coming to it so i listened to them all in a row and didn't have to wait except for the last one) which i read. i still plan to buy it on tape so i can listen to it. as for toothy-ness... wait until yours get their 'big new' adult front teeth...very scary until they grow into them some...very scary....

[H]

try Sophie Kinsella for an audio book for you

have a great time with your family - merry christmas and happy new year!

[Jen]

Merry Christmas! Thanks for the update, and the beautiful pictures of your kids. Love the big grins!

[Valery]

Thanks for taking the time to write. Even being stuck in the stage 'no kids no car no audio books' it seems something to look forward to. (Wishing I could fast forward)
Wishing you merry and happy!

[Amy]

I love little roundabouts! I live in a rural area and I wish they would replace the one (blinking yellow) light in town with one. Once people learned how to use it it would be so efficient! And we would all start speaking with a British accent! And having tea in the afternoon! Lovely.

[kim]

For the past 15 years or so, the engineers around my way (in Jersey, just over the bridge from Philly) have been converting "circles" to four or more way lighted traffic stops. It sucks. It takes so much longer to get through them. If you know how to drive them, it would take seconds to breeze through (yes, aggressiveness is the key).

btw, My boy twins are now 18 months old, and I love hearing how your slightly older imps are doing...sorta like a trailer or preview.