I'm With The Brand

A couple of thoughts from the last post:

1. I had never noticed that Curious George has no tail and is therefore not a monkey. I'll be damned. 

2. Miss Clavel is apparently spelled with only one L. Whoops. Two Ls.

3. When I read books for myself I just skip along. While I might feel some skepticism as the heroine culminates her wedding night with a crescendo high C (AHEM) I don't dwell on it. I just think, "Suuuuuuure she did, Lord Darkesmere" and I read on. Depending upon the book I could not tell you five minutes after I am done the names of any of the characters or what happened to them or why. However after reading Goodnight Moon a couple of hundred dozen times I know that I find the babydoll on the bookshelf creepy and I am amused that the picture of the three bears includes the picture of the cow jumping over the moon. You can explore a text much more thoroughly when there are less than 300 words to consider and you are forced at scream-point to repeat it ad infinitum.

I enjoyed your comments very much; I love the fact that you are all unfailingly courteous to each other and me; and in summation, Kate put it best when she observed, "I think maybe reading picture books leaves too much time for thinking." 

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Patrick's bedtime is eight which means he can generally be corralled into his room by 8:20 at which point he does... stuff and as long as it doesn't become too loud or we smell smoke or anything we leave him alone. Now that the Legos have moved to his room and he has the ability to harness the awesome power of six AA batteries he mostly builds robots but occasionally he branches off into more delicate arts like comic writing.

This floated down from over the banister last night and it made me laugh aloud.

Click here

I find him very witty except in the morning on school days when I find him INSANELY exasperating.

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I spoke with the woman who did his PT evaluation and then her written assessment came in the mail a few days later. He has average balance and ok strength and no ability whatsoever to perform any action requiring bilateral coordination. She noted that with a variety of these tasks he thought he was doing what she had asked but when he looked down he would be, like, oh, wait, my feet aren't moving, are they? From tapping his fingers to jumping-jacks Patrick's left side has no idea what the right side is doing and his top might as well be in Calgary while his bottom visits Peru. She thinks he might benefit from OT as well as PT and I am trying to set up an OT evaluation for him while we wait for our insurance company to decide whether or not an inability to play the drums (or the piano. or fence. or polka) is a medical emergency.

In the meantime I feel tremendously liberated. For six years I have dutifully hauled this child to swimming lessons only to wonder what the thrashing thing was in the shallow end: a marlin on the line? Why no! That would be Patrick. And we have conscientiously upgraded him from big wheel to tricycle to inherited bikes with training wheels and then extra training wheels only to have him sit there and then fall over. 

It's nice to know that it is not simply a matter of try. There is no try. So it is to be hoped that our insurance company whom I love (what the hell - Health Partners, I love you) will spring for a little help for the kid whose brain fires differently and if not we will try to figure something out. 

On a vaguely related note: what do you think about trampolines? I mean the modern trampoline with the high protective sides and covered springs, not the pinchy defenestrators of my girlhood. I cannot believe I am even considering it but we have a line on one for Patrick for his birthday and I am trying to decide if this is crazy. On the one hand he would love it. Loooooooooove it. On the other I do not want him to break his neck. 

Please advise.

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Jan just left a couple of questions on the last post and because I am sitting here and I like Jan and I didn't have a next point in mind I might as well answer her now.

Caroline's skin is better, thank you, and yes it mostly just cleared up on its own. She does have a stubborn eczema patch on her chin at the moment, though, and the keratosis pilaris is as awful as ever. Edward has smooth, soft baby skin that you (well, I) want to snuffle but poor Caroline's arms and legs feel like sandpaper. Nothing we can do about it apart from coating her with moisturizers (futile by the way; it's like dropping a teaspoon of water into a desert) and I am just glad that the outbreaks on her face have eased. 

Patrick's school is terrific. Awesome. Perfect. He is like a different child from last Fall. He feels good about himself and it affects everything and everybody. I think they have a truly great (a once-in-a-lifetime-great) teacher who walks that tricky line between educator therapist arbiter and substitute parent that second graders need and the kids all like and respect him and each other.

I am much less concerned about the academics than the social stuff but I notice that Patrick is blooming there too. They do such fun things. Spelling is always interesting. More than half the time they get to pick their own words and then incorporate them into whatever the weekly assignment is. This week one of his classmates made it up: they have to create silly definitions for ten words and then draw pictures of the real definitions. My favorite from Patrick this week was elver, which he defined as an elevator that doesn't go anywhere. He drew a long line of people stretching away from an elevator while the guy inside it looks annoyed. Then he drew a little eel saying 'goo'.

I think the point of their math is to extend themselves and get them used to getting things wrong a lot. Patrick used to get upset when he made mistakes but now he just shrugs and says something successories like "Get some right, get some wrong." They are plotting xy coordinates this week and had to create pictures, plot them, figure the coordinates and then have their classmates try to use the coordinates to recreate the pictures.

No one was more surprised than I was to discover I have a dormant love for the equation of a line because I got all excited when Patrick was trying to make his dinosaur work on graph paper and I went on and on and ON about slopes and the y-intercept until Patrick extended his palm toward me (still a gesture of his that amuses me) and told me, "Yeah no doubt but we don't need to know anything you have just said."

Fine. But I still think it is like magic.

So thank you for asking and Patrick's school is terrific and I continue to be grateful on a daily basis that this was an option for him.

What was the third thing? Oh, therapy. Patrick's or Edward's? I talked to the scheduler today while Edward was with his speech person (actually he has two - his therapist proper and then a student who has been following her for the past several months) and we started putting physical therapy appointments on the calendar for Patrick in anticipation of a positive response from our insurer. He would start in mid-May and then we are trying to get an OT evaluation scheduled for June. She laughed as we tried to piece something together for both kids that would not have me ferrying them back and forth all week and she said, "You will be getting everything we offer at this point."

Bring it on. We are all about the therapy over here even if we are sometimes a little late to the party. I know why I did not want to pursue Patrick's coordination issues sooner (I wanted to focus on getting him into a school setting that would work for him without clouding the waters with his Other Problems - whether this was right or wrong of me I have no idea and I was not even aware that I had been doing this until I realized that I relaxed about school and instantly thought, "OK now about the drowning...") and I just hope that the delay will not prove too unfortunate.

Edward, meanwhile, is doing very well in speech and is continuing to work on not dropping his end sounds in the middle of a sentence. Like he can say "Up" with a lovely plummy "puh" at the end but if he says "Up Clouds" (for example although why would he?) he says Uh Cowds.

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Steve went to get Caroline up from her nap yesterday and discovered that she had removed all her clothing and her diaper without unsnapping, unbuttoning or unzipping anything . She is like an eel (or an elver.) She is also - and I know everyone always says this about their little girls but I only have the one so... - OH MY GOD Caroline is such a drama queen/princess/empress/pharoah. She is so actress-y. Every gesture with her is enormous as if she wants to make sure they are getting it all the way in the cheap seats. She droops. She swivels her eyes about like expensive hi-beams. She languishes. She trills.

"Oh sunshine!" she exclaims as she flings her arms wide as if to embrace a beam of light and then, turning to her audience of me and the cat she continues, "Sunshine makes me smiling." She's just so consciously precious. Patrick and Steve eat it up, by the way. Edward and I are more immune.

While singing Doe a Deer the other day she stopped herself - twice - and said, no, no it's not good enough. I could not decide if she was doing a Do Re Mi/ Sing medley or if she was having a perfectionist prima donna moment or both. Fortunately (and perhaps not coincidentally) I was filming her at the time so we can all ponder the question together.

Roll 'em.

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In the span of three days I ripped the knees out of both pairs of my favorite jeans. This prompted a minor crisis when I went to buy the same jeans again and discovered that they have changed them enough to make them dreadful. OK. In the spirit of full disclosure I will acknowledge...

I wear Lands End petite (petite as in I have short legs) pajama bottoms to bed every night and a few months ago I realized that the pajamas I have had for years were all skimming above my ankle bones. It seemed unlikely that they had shrunk after so much time so I came to the conclusion that I have grown taller. I believed it and I mentioned it to Steve in all sincerity. I pointed to the highwater PJs and said I know it is unusual for a person in her late thirties to grow an inch but what else could it be? Steve kept a perfectly straight face and said, "Ah?" and I strode majestically away.

Days later I realized that there is actually another alternative: namely, that my derriere and hips have increased enough over the past year that they are hoisting my pajamas upwards.

I returned to Steve with this possibility and he laughed until he choked. Then he caught his breath and starting laughing all over again.

So! It is possible that it is not the jeans that have changed. In any event I tried on a few pairs and realized I would no longer be purchasing this brand and style. Which left me completely effed because have you SEEN how many jeans there are out there? I used to wear Levis as a child and then I wore Guess and then I wore Levis again and then I wore Gap and then I wore J Jill and now... I am back to Levis again. Curvy. Levis curvy jeans for the woman who thinks she might be growing taller. I like them and I bought three pairs and I hope I am done with jean shopping forever but my quest begged a question and I am asking you because I assume you know.

While I was looking for jeans I wondered if I should be looking for more *Nina Garcia pursed lips* appropriate clothing for my age. Granted I just drive children around but it might be nice to wear something other than solid color tshirts all the time. I looked around for shirts that might be more interesting or pretty or something and I discovered that I sort of like the peasant blouses and the frilly tunics but... and here is my question... I think they were all in Juniors. What does a woman my age wear that is casual but not too young, do you know? Can I wear the fun smock-y things or will people with actual fashion sense sneer at me? I tried to look at Target to get a sense of where the teen section ended and the grown women began but there didn't seem to be a whole hell of a lot between twenty and death.
 
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I think that's it.

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Don't forget the trampoline. 

PS Quicktime for the video. If you want.

PPS Video has problems. Will try to fix.

PPPS I feel like the cameraman with the bottle and stars around my head. Still working on the video which is the size of a jumbotron. The Click Here for Patrick's comic is fixed though.

Comments

[Amelie]

I read always and comment rarely - but I have a 17 year old female version of Patrick ( and a 13 year old version of Cricket - the drama - we often laugh until we cry. Her older sister did none of that!). When you were asking about schools I was of the move him as soon as possible variety - I commented that my daughter spent 2nd grade trying to become invisible. She had many of the same issues as Patrick - the right and left, top and bottom just didn't click. Because she was so high functioning in other ways the early testing missed it - it wasn't until there was a huge discrepency between skills she had (reading, math, vocab) and those that she didn't -sissors, snaps, hand writing, trying to breathe underwater)that her test scores finally allowed us to get therapy. So probably waiting worked to your advantage. Too soon and the results don't show anything - mommy guilt assuaged.

We did OT and PT - frankly it didn't help much, was very expensive, and time consumming. What did work for us was investing in what she loved - for us horses. She learned small motor skills doing bridles (it took forever in the beginning - like 20 minutes to do 1 latch - painful), her balance improved so that she wouldn't fall off at jumps etc. And time helps too - one day she got on a bike and rode - after her 4 years younger sister - but there was no practice. She just developmentally had the nuerons lined up one day.

Patrick has his legos - he is practicing all kinds of motor skills putting those suckers together. My advice would be to keep letting him try all kinds of physical activites - even if he is not good at them until he finds something that he WANTS to practice because he loves it. And while you can't help worrying - do it quietly - he seems like an amazing kid, and now that school has been squared away I bet that he will be very successful at finding his way.

As to trampolines - NO! (And I let my kid almost get killed on a daily basis on a horse, and the other one is a gymnast). I've seen some really horrible injuries. And call your insurance. They can cancel policies in our state if your have a undeclared trampoline.

[Cheryl]

Jeans... they are troublesome, aren't they? I just wore through one knee of MY favorite pair. And the other two I own are ill-fitting and also shredded in the knees. I mostly kept them around because one of them was decent for wearing for cleaning around the house purposes and one of them was good for emergencies when my good pair had the occasional run-in with a potty-training accident. But now my suitable-for-public and really actually favorite pair is worn out too. And shopping for jeans is horrific. As for style... let us know what you figure out :) Good luck!

P.S. Glad that therapy is providing answers to long held questions! I know that feeling of reserving a problem to be worked out later *and* of relief at knowing that a root cause of a problem is physiological and possibly solvable through some prescribed route rather than triumphed over through sheer effort and bootstraps and things. Good luck with that stuff too (crossing fingers for insurance).

[Beth]

Our school uses Brain Gym http://www.braingym.org/about
It might be an interesting addition for Patrick - it crosses the mid-line to help a child use both sides of the brain for learning - elbow to opposite knee, etc.

Yes to the trampoline, yes to using it with rules and supervision. We love ours and it has no net. They have learned to stay on it quite well and handle the springs very well. When it was new it had a big yellow star painted it in the middle and it was easy to tell the littles that they had to jump on the star, not go around the edges. If they go around the edges they get taken off and that's the end of that!

[DrSuz]

As an ER doctor, I see LOTS of kids that need an orthopedic surgeon after a "fun" afternoon on the trampoline. For full disclosure, I admit that I have a very skewed view of the danger because I remain blissfully unaware of all the children happily and safely bouncing away. People don't tend to check in to the ER to tell me "I just got double bounced and it made me laugh- didn't hurt a bit!"

One of my nurses even came to see me after her son talked her in to jumping with him- she had an OPEN ankle fracture (you know, bone coming out of the skin?) I don't think she has taken a painless step since, and that was four years ago. (Well, I guess HALF of her steps are painless.)

I am told I am a stick in the mud by my children daily, so you may not want to listen to me. (And the fact that I let them play little league baseball which last I checked had more yearly deaths than any other kids sport. I am not very consistent.)

[DrSuz]

also- one of my friends got dropped by her homeowner's insurance when a claims guy noticed they had a trampoline. you may want to investigate that.

[Meegan]

Hee. I'm enjoying the polarizing "trampampoline" (as we say in my house) conversation. My only addition is this: Don't tell your homeowners' insurance agent or you will pay. Literally.

All the suggestions about where to shop are all the places I love. Boden, Anthro, Kohl's, Gap or Old Navy.... Buy the peasant blouses, go for ruffles, incorporate some prints, florals...get crazy. You can pull off much more than you think. You're cute. Just walk tall and no one will question. And DEFINITELY post some pictures! :)

[Gigi]

Re: trampolines... Don´t even think, they are amazing fun AND get children tired. I got one for my triplets 3rd birthday back in january (we live in the tropics so we´re outside year round) and they haven´t stop using it.

[Little Bird]

As far as the lack of coordination, I too suffered from that. Still do as a matter of fact, but I CAN now ride a bike. But that took me YEARS to figure out. I had to do it on my own, none of my parents help... helped. I just had to find a reason good enough to want to try it. And eventually I got it. But I was at least 12 when it clicked.

[Carolyn]

Julia, you raise many good questions, and I only have the brain power for commenting on one: clothing. I am twice your age, but recently realized that my "uniform" of the past year or so, maybe more, was jeans with a solid color tee shirt. The color of the shirt was most often white. I was boring even *myself* to death. I asked a step-daughter (in whom I have strong fashion trust) to shop with/for me and help me re-invent myself, fashion-wise. We shopped only at Ross, Marshall's and T J's, so I got very reasonably-priced articles, and lots of them. She lead me to tops, capris, dresses and sweaters that I would never have tried and I liked them all. And without fail, all the clothes we selected bring forth many compliments *every single time* I wear them. My husband loves the new look and I feel like a perkier, peppier, jazzy person. AND mostly they came from the nicer junior section, or at least are youthful in style. And I've wondered for years if I should find clothes that suit my age more (I'm nearly retirement age). Today was the acid test - lunch with six contemporaries. Would they think I looked outrageous? No, they raved about the cute, perky top. The moral of this long story - find someone to tug you out of your fashion box, but to a degree with which you can be comfortable. You don't want to shy away from wearing your new duds once the tags are off and the adventurous heat has cooled. It really does make life just a bit (sometimes quite a bit) better!

[Carolyn]

...just caught a glimpse of someone's post in which they mention quoting Caroline (That is IT, Ed-wad!) We too have gotten so much fun using that line in our family. That's applicable rather often, even if you're not dealing with an Ed-Wad. It always brings good laughs.

[babelbabe]

that jean article ROCKED. that said, Old Navy sweetheart-cut jeans ...try 'em. and they're cheapish. I own four pairs. I wear them when I must get out of my yoga pants.

[TheLuckyGal]

RE: trampoline: have you ever seen the in-ground kind? They have them in playgrounds here (Aus) and in Paris and a few other places I've traveled but I don't remember ever seeing them in the US. Basically, you dig a trampoline-size hole in the ground to the exact depth of the thing and drop it in there so you are bouncing at ground level. Brilliant. Check this out: http://www.trampolinesafety.com/files/u1/inground_trampoline.jpg The last "curvy fit" jeans (in petite) I bought were from Eddie Bauer. (Prior to that it was J Jill, but when I went back I didn't like the Authentic fit or whatever it was.) Not sure if the EB ones are the same now, but it's worth a try. I have a cute pair of dressier "trouser" jeans (cute pockets, flare legs) from Lands End. EB has some good tops - with runching and ruffles and stuff at the neckline so you're wearing a t-shirt but feel more put together. (I still shop at Lands End and Eddie Bauer and have stuff shipped all the way down under.)

[Jen]

My daughter has had some horrible flare-ups of ezcema in the last few months. Even without flare-ups, her skin was rough to the touch. I thought we had tried everything.

But we've been using California Baby Supersensitive Everyday Lotion. Now? Her skin is just like you describe Edward's.

We use the California Baby Calendula cream for flare-ups.

[Julie]

Trampolines are awesome. They also make a huge amount of difference for some kids who need OT/PT stuff. Might not make a difference in what Patrick is dealing with, but at the very least he will get tired out jumping jumping jumping...and even better, so will your little twinkles.

[Lizzie]

When we moved here four years ago and were chatting with the new house insurance people we were informed in no uncertain terms: no trampoline! (And we have a pool. And a pond.) So I second the person who said to check in with your insurance people before you buy one.

And for tops, I love the Inc. line at Macy's. (And when they do an Inc. challenge on Project Runway, you'll feel like they're doing it just for you.)

[Minneapolismama]

I suspect Caroline will LOVE the trampoline!!

[chiara]

i am sure you have but just in case you have not--aquaphor. have you tried it on caroline? it worked wonders on my son's eczema and other very dry skin patches. his skin just sucks it up.

[L.]

A lovely pediatrician on a forum I frequented linked me to a publication on the many horrors of trampolines. They are really not safe, I guess, and in re Leah's comment, they can unfortunately both kill and maim you, via falling on your head. Which is too bad because they do sound like fun and a magical way to occupy children and keep them out of one's hair. If you do get one, get one with spring covers and keep the surrounding area well cleared.

Looking forward to further perusing your clothing-related comments!

Oh the thing I really came here to post! I have had a pair of lovely Munki Munki flannel pajamas (with penguins on!) for years, and just the other week I put them on and found that they were suddenly high-water. I know I am not suddenly fatter, and also these pajamas have soooo much room it is definitely not the case that they are riding up more, so to speak. Apparently they had some weirdo shrinking incident after all these years. It is grieving me as they were my favorites.

So, you might need new clothing anyway and you might be curvier after all but I wouldn't base any body-related conclusions on pajama fit.

[Laura]

Both of my kids have keratosis pilaris. The best advice I can give you is to scrub the bumps with a loofa during the bath and then use a cream or lotion that contains urea. I've had trouble finding the lotion in local pharmacies, but it is readily available online. If you do this faithfully every bath, the bumps will start to disappear.

[Addie]

Trampolines - a couple of months ago, our babysitter was doing flips on one, landed wrong and broke one of his neck vertebrae. His friends tried to get him up to "shake it off" - he felt tingling in his arm and thought better of it, asking his friends to call 911. Good thing - doctor at Emerg said if he'd moved, he'd be paralyzed. Emergency surgery, weeks flat in a hospital bed, and a brace for weeks after that and he's fine - but no trampolines for me now - I realize it's likely a rare occurrence, but I'm spooked.

[Lise]

Maybe one of those mini-trampolines with the bar to hold on to would be a good compromise. I can think of nothing worse than having to be outside supervising a big kid and trying to keep two little kids from climbing in with him. I think I can hear the (potential) shrieks from here, and I live in Washington state.

I often buy clothes in the junior department for myself and for the actresses that I costume. The nice thing about junior clothing is that the shoulders tend to be narrower. And as others have said, important thing is to make sure the clothes fit you since they run smaller than misses' sizes.

You might check out the blog fridayplaydate.com for ideas. It's written by a thirty-something mom who has a casual but cool style. She throws a "statement" necklace or a scarf on with her t-shirt and looks fabulous.

[Sarah]

I second the Boden. I think you can wear tops that are slightly embellished, that hint at peasant-ness, but are not over the top--so stitching/decoration on the borders/neckline, but not all over the front.

Ann Taylor's lightly ruffled tops and sweaters are very nice--not too dressy, not too casual with a touch of femininity without looking like you're twelve.

[Amy]

Okay, I haven't read all the comments, and I'm sure there are many opinions, both pro and con about trampolines. My two cents: I HATE THEM. I have never known ANYONE who had a trampoline who had not experienced some sort of injury related to it...either their own family or a visitor. My son has twisted an ankle and cut his foot while visiting a family with a trampoline. I hate them. So there you go.

[rose]

I am pretty safety conscious as a mother, but threw that out the window for the trampoline. We got a net, made rules about not ging on without supervision, only 2 at a time, blah, blah, blah. Our insurance company made us get rid of it. I miss it more than anyone, not that i could actually go on it, because it made me pee every time i jumped. Loved the trampoline.

[tgsdmom]

I need some clarification:
1. Did the letters go back to before the invention of alphabet?
2. Does the choice of letters signify anything? (Robert? ;-))

Trampoline? I don't know... I would hate to read a post describing an injury. But it is fun.

Fashion? I'm the last person to ask. I'm afraid the advice I read here would not be enough. I need someone to take me by the hand and go shopping with me.

[Amy F]

Re: clothes. Add me to the list of solid-color tees with jeans. As I'm finishing up my second trimester with child #3 and having my first summer pregnancy, my neighbor loaned me her maternity wardrobe and suddenly I possess a large pile of baby doll tees and various fun shirts. A ton of people have commented on how nice everything looks. Which shows me how blah my normal clothes must be. Not sure if I'll have the nerve to get interesting stuff once I'm postpartum, but I'll enjoy a few months of these while I can.

[S]

You made me snort pop thru my nose with the "getting taller" thing :)
I was always too scared to get a trampoline for my kids when they were little, but they have come a long way I think and look so much safer now!

[Jennie]

For the jeans and general clothing shopping, try myshape.com. It takes a bit to sign up because you need to enter in all your detailed measurements, but then each time you log in, you will only be shown clothing that will fit and flatter your particular shape and size. You also choose a general style of clothing that appeals to you, i.e. trendy, classic, modern, etc. It can be pricey, but the sales are pretty decent.

[Carla Hinkle]

My current favorite thing to do is to buy cheap-ish, trendy clothes (mostly Old Navy ... I cannot resist Old Navy...) a little big, and then have them tailored to fit. And really, I will tailor EVERYTHING. I'll get a t-shirt tailored, if necessary. Nowhere fancy, I just go to the corner drycleaner and they fix me right up for a few bucks; you could probably do it yourself if you sew well. And then I feel like I am sort of stylish and yet all my womanly "curves" are well-covered.

I am just not ready, even at the ripe old age of 37, to shop in the Misses' section. If necessary for my infrequent work meetings, I'll buy something from Banana Republic. Otherwise, Juniors' Section, Ho!

[Kelly Lanley]

A resounding YES for the trampoline. It will totally help Patrick's issues and be fun for even the littles.
Avoid most safety issues by sinking it into the ground so it is level with the yard. Then you just walk onto it, and nobody falls off. Your hubs sounds pretty handy, just have him borrow/rent a back hoe and dig a hole to sink the trampoline into. We reinforced ours with some siding stuff, but I've had friends not do that and it still works.
I have 3 kids of my own, who always have their troops over, so there are regularly 5-7 kids on that thing and not one injury in 9 years. (yes, I'm sure the universe just heard that and is plotting something as I type).
SERIOUSLY...best. thing. ever!!!!

[NIna]

I have two rules of thumb for clothes shopping - smart casual and the intersect between what I like and what looks good on me.

(These are not hard and fast rules - if I only wore what is most flattering I would only be in ankle-skimming skirts since they cater to my leg length while disguising leg fatness).

What are your bodily features you like the most and which are ones you like least? Do you like colours and fun patterns? Wispy materials? Or do you prefer simple lines?

Does something like this strike horror into your heart as being too fussy, or do you think cute!

If you are loath to relinquish the block colour thing in your heart of hearts, then something like this with a pretty neckline can get dressed up with interesting details (like a necklace, or a lovely cardigan)

Is too ditsy and wispy or the sort of stuff you can see yourself wearing?

Can you picture yourself wearing a shirt like this for a more dressed-up look?

Basically, with any outfit you can generally get away with two eye-catching and two plain details. So if you favour plain jeans and then you can have a fancy top. If you have a plain top you can have a bold necklace. If you are wearing something delicate and feminine (e.g. with small pearl buttons, delicate knit or print) then keep the necklace delicate as well, particularly if you have collarbones which you like to show off.

Which colours make your skin glow and which wash you out? Does something like this suit your shape or make you look like a sack of potatoes?

Maybe you should have a Dress Julia blog challenge, where you post a photo of yourself and a list of known and powerful likes/dislikes and then have people suggest clothes for you.

A fitted corset top might feel like it's too young, but if it flatters you and you put something with sleeves over it, then you can probably get away with it.

[NIna]

Argh! None of my links look like they are showing up, and I'm too knackered to try again and see where I effed up the first time.

Sorry about that.

[Anne]

Patrick's cartoon is great!

[jen w]

No, no, and no on the trampoline. I am an ER nurse and some of the worst injuries in kids are from trampolines. All of the doctors will say that they are a big risk. The last thing you want is a kid in a cast with screws in his/her bones.

[Aurelia]

Trampolines, the modern ones can be knocked over if kids ram themselves against the walls with all their weight.

BUT, if Steve anchors the trampoline into the ground quite firmly, on at least 4 points, and maybe more, like with rope attached to the ground with big heavy anchors buried in, then no one on earth will hurt themselves.

Sounds awesome to me. Have fun!

P.S. I think you need to try stuff to really tell, I never order online anymore due to weird shape issues I have after baby #3. Sigh....good luck.

[Carla Hinkle]

PS I had keratosis pilaris as a child and still do today ... it sticks to the backs of my arms/legs, and away from my face, which is a blessing, because it seems I'm pretty much stuck with it -- the only thing that makes it go away is too much sun. If you have any better ideas, please share.

[Betsy]

I know I already commented on this entry; but I noticed a couple of people who posted that they use Caroline's "That is IT, Ed-wad" in conversation and I had to mention that "super special snowflake" has become part of our household lexicon. I love that phrase for the numbers of ways it can be used depending on context and circumstance!

[Hetty Fauxvert]

Julia, I absolutely cherish your blog. You ALWAYS make me laugh, and your kids are sublime.

Ahem.

Re the keratosis pilaris, I have it and my 3-yo son has inherited it (though his twin does not have it -- go figure). I found some stuff called Lac-Hydrin 5, an alpha-hydroxy lotion, that has really helped the chickenskin on my arms. You might try it on Caroline, though I would start with a small patch test, and *never* use it on the face. You can read reviews of this stuff online-- that was how I found it.

As for grown-up places to shop, I am a recent Kohl's convert (they have T-shirts that cover your arms! And aren't made of tissue paper! And are cute!) but I LOVES me some Coldwater Creek. They are a little patchy -- some of their stuff is just butt-ugly grandmother crap, but then they have something so cute and sharp and chic that I find myself rationalizing spending the $$ on it. Here's how to get the best deals at CC: Get on their email list so they send you the good coupons, and then as soon as they send you a coupon, get online and shop their Outlet. I have gotten some really fun, cheap, formerly expensive stuff that way. Happy shopping!

[crystal]

Crap.... there are more ways in which I am expected to grow up? I could wear t-shirts and jeans forever.... and now muddy boots too... Last of my darling's siblings is finally going to get married next month. I'm going to have to wear... something else. Foo....

My childhood fondness for trampolines ended when I walked in for my regular afternoon stint at the Y. My stay was curtailed because they were closing for the day. As I had walked in, I noticed blood. Copious amounts of blood. Trailing. Blood.

A young woman who did some competitive trampoline thing and practiced in the lobby of our Y (where the trampoline was) as the masses watched with rapt adoration, apparently went one way, as her ever so well trained leg went another. Just basic up and down warm up stuff, but opps..... and there goes a particularly nasty (read: messy) compound fracture.

It looked like a freaking massacre.

Terra firma looked mighty appealing.

I think it is one of the most vivid memories of my childhood.

[Sarah]

I have a strong bias against trampolines since 40 years ago the brother of a college friend died in a fall from one. Twenty years ago, the son of a friend broke his elbow so badly that as an adult he has lost some use of the arm. I think there is no doubt trampolines are fun, but they require constant supervision. A net at the least, a one-at-a-time rule, and an adult watching all the time. I do not think you can say "Go bounce, I'll start dinner."

[Kate]

She is so cute!

No idea about the safety of a trampoline but it sure does sound fun.

I like Boden a lot (I am 34). Unfortunately, you have to order online (www.bodenusa.com) but their clothes fit well (post- uh, childbirth) and I always gets lots of compliments on the colors. Mainly I get shirts there b/c I am too nervous to buy pants online. For pants/shorts/skirts, I still like Banana Republic (though I rarely have anywhere nice enough to go to justify BR), sometimes Gap, though I am on the taller side (5'6"). But definitely check Boden out for tops (and kids clothes when they go on sale!).

[kathy]

I [high number]th the Boden and Garnet Hill recommendations for clothing. They can be spendy, but have decent sales, particularly Boden.

My 2 1/2 year old son is the drama king in our house. So it is not limited to girls. I appreciate you sharing where Edward is with his speech. My son is a few months older and a few months behind Edward speech-wise, but I am confident he'll catch up someday.

Oh and if you are pear shaped as I am, I recommend Levi's 529s.

[Debbie in the UK]

Hi Julia

Just stopped by to say that there is an ad on British TV at the moment that is brilliant and the baby in it is the spitting image of Caroline. If you google "John Lewis Ad 2010" you can watch it on You Tube. Let me know whether you agree!

Debbie x

[Lynn]

I am 40 and petite and have worn jeans/solid Ts all my life. I still do about half the time. But when my 15-year-old levis started falling apart I went shopping for new clothes with my equally petite and younger sister, who steered me away from the petite departments of most stores (old lady clothes, she says) toward the junior's section. Granted, not everything is suitable or fits, but most does. As for how appropriate to my age: juniors designers just essentially copy whatever Lindsay Lohan or Kelly Clarkson is wearing and cut it to fit a teenager. It was a little outside of my comfort zone but when my sister forced me to try on I really felt like I had taken a multi-decade leap forward from a teen style I have worn essentially from the early 80s (though my T shirts back then generally featured rock band instead of plain colors) to a style that adults and teens are wearing today. It really updated my look and it fit, which is more than I can say for non-petite cutting edge fashion. Go for it -- try it out with one or two outfits and take it from there

[TeacherMommy]

I used to dress like a total frump, and these days I try to dress like a sexy but not slutty thirty-something, because that's what I am, yo.

I shop primarily at H & M, but that's more for work-appropriate attire. My jeans come from Old Navy, where they seem to understand that women can actually have a rear end and hips without being a hippo. Otherwise I pick up a piece here and there wherever I find them: Charlotte Russe, Target, JC Penney, The Gap, wherever.

[Heather]

As an orthopaedic surgeon, I have to say no to the trampoline. Broken bones are not "just a part of childhood." They can cause serious and permanent injury. Rumors float that one of my colleagues, instead of warning his children to call at any time if kids had alcohol at a friends house, told his children to call at any time if a friend had a trampoline. Just a matter of professional bias I suppose.

And I strongly second the Boden clothing nomination. Initial prices are a little steep, but they have great sales. The colors and patterns are great, and the quality is excellent.

[Korinna]

I don't consider myself a Nervous Nelly, but trampolines give me Serious Pit in the Stomach. And that was when I was 16 and we had one at home and my little brother would jump on it. Now at 34 with kids?--oh my.

As for clothes, I also highly recommend Boden and Ann Taylor Loft. Boden is the best for clothes/patterns not many others will be wearing. Ann Taylor Loft for their more casual shirts and ridiculous sales.

Good luck!

[Lisak]

Re: Patrick and swimming. I taught swimming for a jillion years. Ideally kids would be taught the breast stroke first, as you do the same thing on both sides of the body at the same time. Then, move on to the complicated bi-lateral movements of the front crawl, etc. It might be worth a few private lessons to try this and help him gain some confidence and result in less flailing. At the very least might make him less of a drowning worry!

We have a trampoline (boys 11 and 13) and they LOVE it. My rule is absolutely no flips, ever. I can see the potential for injuries, but after two years, knock on wood, we are still doing alright. And I am totally Safety-Suzy.

[lmh]

I'm a pediatric nurse at a large hospital. I have never taken care of a child with an injury that took place on a trampoline (or a bicycle or skateboard, for that matter). I have, however, taken care of far too many children with tragic injuries as a result of ATV and swimming pool accidents. Go for the trampoline, and join them - so much fun!! Just don't give in to their pleas for an ATV.

[Jennifer]

With regards to the trampoline, what about a smaller exercise trampoline that can be used inside? (They are usually about 3 feet across and easily available online or in sporting goods stores--but avoid the ones with handles, as they encourage poor posture.) My younger daughter, who is the age of the twins, has sensory integration issues as well and this has been recommended to us as part of our sensory "diet". I've been doing some research and while I am by no means an expert in sensory integration at this point, it seems like Patrick might have some sensory integration issues (the bilateral coordination issues in particular) that you are just uncovering. Check out "The Out Of Sync Child"--that book has been my entry point into this new world of sensory integration. There's also a lot of info on the web. I am overwhelmed with info at this point and still trying to sort out what is important for my daughter, as there are many, many forms of sensory integration issues. But the book might give you some ideas of where/how to start helping him. And yes to the OT! We are working with an OT and seeing great results, so I think getting Patrick some OT will greatly benefit him! :)

And I need to take my own advice and finally get the small trampoline for my daughter. My oldest (13) has had a large trampoline at her father's house (one of many of his decisions I don't agree with) and I'm honestly terrified of it. But I can't say anything due to divorce politics, etc., and I have to admit that she LOVES it. The best thing I can say about is that if she gets injured on it, it's HIS health insurance and he'll have to pay the bills...