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I realized that when I have random amounts of cash in my wallet I tend to spend it in pointless little dribbles so I have made an effort to only make an ATM withdrawl with specific things in mind. This has been a good system but it frequently leaves me with nothing but Cheerios in my purse and when I need $2 to accompany Patrick's last minute permission slip and I do not have it.

They're going to the ballet, by the way. When I got the notice I thought about a couple of comments you guys left on the last post, specifically the ones from Betsy and Kathleen, about the merits of ballet training and I am hoping Patrick falls in love with it so he can get a gruff Russian teacher of his own to tell him to straighten his back and plié, damn him. As for tumbling I thought Victoria summed it up nicely when she said Patrick has been benignly neglected in his current tumbling class, being left to bounce happily but ineptly by himself when it became obvious that he was going to need some pretty specific coaching to improve. Patrick had his last tumble on Thursday and I decided not to sign him up for another session just yet; although he might go back this summer if I can get a different teacher for him. Meanwhile he has been asking to take swimming (the gym and the pool share a building) and I have a credit with the swim place left over from last year when Patrick wound up hospitalized mid-session so I signed him up for a twice a week mini swim camp starting next week. I also called the place that does Edward's speech therapy and they are going to give Patrick an evaluation this afternoon and we'll see what they think. The woman I spoke with said it sounded like he was more of a PT than an OT candidate but we're going to have them assess a broad range of things and see. Oh and for your benefit I want to repeat something from a comment that Aurelia left. She said that rather than doing piecemeal assessments we really should do a complete psychoeducational assessment that looks at the total enchilada of intelligence and achievement and fine and gross motor and whatnot. And she is absolutely right. However our insurance will only cover OT ST and PT stuff so they will pay for the assessment unless it looks at IQ in which case they will not. So there it is. Piecemeal ho for us but I am mentioning it in case you are wondering about a child of yours and have more flexibility.  And thank you, as always, for your thoughts. I always find it enormously helpful when you weigh in and I hope you do as well.

I wasn't sure how to explain that we were going to the place where his baby brother gets speech therapy so he could balance on one foot in front of some total stranger. So I told him that this place has coaches who work one on one with kids to help them develop the skills that allow them to get really good at things like tumbling and soccer and swimming and he said ok. Actually first he explained to me that the way he swims is a deliberate STYLE and then he said ok.    

Where was I?

Oh right, borrowing cash from the littlest godfather. So I needed $2 this morning and I didn't think Patrick's teacher would appreciate an envelope full of the loose change from the car's cup holder. I asked Steve if he had any cash and he said, of course not. So I sighed and he said I guess you have to ask Patrick and I sighed again.

Patrick is loaded. If you were to look at the members of this family and evaluate them solely upon their liquidity Patrick could buy and sell us all, no problem. Caroline and Edward each have a few coins in their piggy banks (courtesy of Patrick. he was feeling generous one day) and I currently have eight dollars in my wallet (I found a ten dollar bill in my coat pocket and used the Bank of Patrick to make change in order to return his $2.) Patrick on the other hand has his coin collection (currently unvalued) his piggy bank that clanks like a knight and the empty box from a Maurice Sendak boxed set literally stuffed full of cash.

For the past seven years he has been collecting birthday tributes, Christmas offerings, just because cards from Nana and the occasional allowance and hoarding it all. Every so often we venture to Target or the Lego store and Patrick considers the possibility of a purchase but then he realizes that if he spent the money he would no longer have the money so... so nevermind.

Recently he saw the latest Lego catalog with the Emporium that features a chandelier and a revolving door and an escalator and he decided he absolutely positively wanted it more than anything. So I said are you sure and he said yes. And I said are you really really sure? And he said yes. So I took him down to the Lego store and they didn't have the damned thing and he was crushed. Then he realized that they did have the other thing he wanted even more than the Emporium, the thing he has wanted for over two years that I have always said was too expensive and for which he was too little anyway: the Lego NXT 2.0 Mindstorm robotics set.

So he paused in his grief over the Emporium and considered the robot. He was tempted but it was a staggering one hundred dollars more than he had intended to spend. What to do? For an hour he debated with himself, assisted by the Lego store personnel who clearly work there because they love Legos and who thought nothing of standing around en masse with a seven year old going over and over the NXT product features while a line of Mall of America shoppers grew long enough to snake outside the door.

It was very sweet actually. At first the Lego store guy tried to talk him out of it because the NXT is not an easy thing to deal with but he took Patrick through his Lego CV (the VW Beatle, the Fire Station) and decided he was up for it. Patrick - and I say this objectively - is amazing when it comes to spatial relationships and construction. He does incredible things with both Legos and paper, which reminds me that his class is working on 3-D cities this week as part of their geometry unit. Each kid has a big sheet of paper upon which they have drawn roads and blocks and then they are using paper to create three dimensional buildings. Patrick dragged me into the classroom to show me his work in progress and I could spot his from across the room; partly because he does really good work and partly because he had a NASA rocket in one corner. When I got closer I saw that he had a small rectangular building a few lots away from the space center and when I got even closer I realized...

"Is that a bathroom?" I asked.

"It is a public restroom, yes."

"Why?"

He looked at me with the pity of a thousand years worth of administrators forced to take stupid questions from the masses during public planning meetings.

"Because people need to go to the bathroom."   

Anyway, the Lego store guys convinced Patrick that the NXT was as cool as he thought it might be and he handed over a billion dollars and he brought home the Mindstorm and that is the last we have seen of him. Robotics. We are now alllllllll about the robotics.

And now where... the point is that Patrick is $300 poorer and although he is very happy with his purchase he - like the rest of the lenders in America - is now a lot more cautious when I come to him with my hand out. When I went to borrow the $2 from him he hemmed and hawed and asked what I needed it for and why I couldn't go to my real bank (his words) and get some and when was I going to return it and in what denominations and what year would the bills be from... I almost dropped kicked him. The end.

+

Spring!

Patrick and I were at the children's consignment store looking for a raincoat for Caroline when he spied a little red cozy coupe car for $20. He told me that Edward and Caroline (who he still tends to call The Babies) would love it and I agreed. He said we should buy it for them. I disagreed. So he begged. He pleaded. He said, "How much joy do you think we would be buying for only twenty dollars."

Only twenty dollars. This from the kid who just a few weeks ago would sooner have parted with a kidney than five quarters but I caved.

 

 

And the short answer is: a lot. A LOT of joy for $20 although it has been more like $19 worth of Edward joy and $1 for Caroline since every time she walks within five feet of the Big Red Cah Edward lets out a scream like a gwythaint and races over hands a'slapping. We are, by the way, working to correct this trait.

I got some good advice from my old friend Carrie (sorry my... my childhood friend who is only six months older than I am) about climbing children. She said you need to help them learn to climb safely and then back off or you will crush their spirits like so many dead ladybugs. This is sort of the exact opposite to the approach I took with Patrick who I wrapped carefully in cotton batting and carried everywhere until he was six but... ok.

I wasn't going to win the climbing battle with Caroline anyway so I have removed deadly and semi-deadly stuff from the counters and I try not to freak out when I find her perched in the kitchen like a pretty pink gargoyle.

I discovered her on top of the breakfast bar and I thought she looked so pose-y with her crossed ankles and flattened palms so I grabbed my camera.

Look cute, I said. She obliged.

 

Now look happy, I suggested.

And show me mad.

I think she needs to remember to elongate her neck and always find her light but regardless she kills me dead. I know my children are not here just to entertain me but they are sort of.

Total aside: we are not an AA Milne friendly house (an old Wodehouse dispute mainly) and as such the only time Caroline has seen the creatures from the Big Woods are on the waistbands on a diaper. She was interested so I said, "Eh, that is Winnie the Pooh."

"Oh," she said and promptly mangled the name in her mind such that a commercial came on the other day and Caroline shouted, "Oh no, Poopy the Bear! It's a boo-boo trap!"

Like I said, she kills me.

And I digressed so far in this post I no longer remember what I thought it was going to be about. No questions for you today but I always like a nice dialogue so any questions for me? Or each other?

The floor is yours.

PS BIG p.s. I have an ad up right now for a reader who makes gorgeous jewelry and I would love it if you checked out her site. So if you need any additional incentive to pick up your finger and cliiiick I will say please. Please.

Comments

[cari]

hello julia - i have read for years but i think this is my first comment. i have to reiterate that first lego league is something patrick would devour. my oldest is all about the legos and lego league. check it out... it will make him very happy.

[sb]

I have a question! Will you ever tell us the rest of the story of Central America, your first husband, and why you quit law school?

I am especially curious about the last of these, as I stuck it out and actually love my job as a lawyer but am concerned that there is no other legal job in the world I'll even like and when my grant runs out for this job I'll really regret going to school at all.

Well. That was the first time I've written that all down and it was very cathartic. If you just want to stick to your travels and relationship travails, that would work for me too. ;)

[winecat]

"How much joy do you think we would be buying for only twenty dollars." I have to remind myself he's ONLY 7. I hope there's an opening for Sec of State when he gets older.

Caroline, sweet Caroline grows more adorable by the day, I could eat that child whole (in a good way of course) love the cuffs on her jeans - small but mighty Caroline

Swimming is a great idea for Patrick, we grew up in the swimming pool and it helps you understand how you're entire body is connected, not just a bunch of parts hanging around.

As for Edward perhaps a career as a race car driver?

[Hetty Fauxvert]

Oh... my... gawd....

Patrick and robotics. Robotics and Patrick. However will the world cope?! LOL!

And "Cahoyine" looks an awful lot like an adorable little Jackie O in those photos. Scrumptious!

As for Pooh, I am a late convert (as in, this year -- I grew up in a Pooh-free home due to my mother's hatred of anything "cutesy") but I am surprised at your lack of empathy with the Pooh. It seems like it would be right up your alley (the books, I mean, though I confess I find the original Pooh movie quite charming as well). Can you elaborate on why you maintain a Pooh-free home?

[Hetty Fauxvert]

And for Erin, who is looking for something slightly more sophisticated, for a child who still chews things: We had exactly this problem, since our boys chewed stuff and yet were ready to move on up. Our boys LOVED the Playmobil 1-2-3 series, which has slightly chunky action figures, vehicles, etc. that are detailed enough to engage little brains, but no choking hazards if they chew on them. Make sure you get the 1-2-3 line, not the more elaborate Playmobil stuff for older kids that does have choking hazards.

[Robyn]

Just a gentle correction from an editor and avid children's book reader--the Big Woods is Laura Ingalls. Winnie the Pooh is the Hundred Acre Wood.

[Karishma]

this is a post late, but the maybe PT maybe OT thing got me thinking.... patrick sounds a lot like a family friend, who had gross motor issues and was generally incredibly clumsy. indian people have this weird thing about not believing in therapy (of any kind) (don't even get me started) so his mother did not put him into therapy, though she fully admitted he had some problems. instead, she stuck him in tennis, multiple times a week. slowly but steadily, he improved, and now he's just an awkward teenage kid, rather than a clumsy kid with motor delays. it's similar to the put him in a ballet class advice, just a different version of it, in case tennis appeals to him more or vice versa.

[katie]

poopy the bear! love it!

your friend carrie is so right. i have a climber and that was what we did. freaked people the heck out when this 18month old was at the top of the highest jungle gym, but she's survived so far and you can see her well developed sense of risk now when she climbs trees (she's just 4) - she carefully reaches and steps and adjusts her footing or handholds before moving higher if it doesn't feel right. people panic to see her at the top of the tree while i'm sitting on the stoop with the laptop doing work but i'm fine with it.

also, thanks for writing about patrick and his coordination issues. i mentioned this to a friend whose son is having the exact same issues and is currently getting evaluated. he can extoll the virtues of any type of vehicle, but ask him to balance on one foot, jump, or peddle a trike and he panics. we realized this is probably the same reason her husband can't ride a bike or swim well at all, too. so yay for you!

[ask a doctor]

Those kids looks really adorable..

[Tracy]

The cuteness! It burns my eyes like a thousand suns!

I think we need a picture of Caroline's *real* angry face.

[melissa]

Erin -
Here are some interesting baby safe toddler toys:
Lego Tubes Experiment Set
Duplo Animals
Duplo Gears
Playmobil 1.2.3
Polydron
Saxoflute
Rody

[Aurelia]

Hi,

My goodness, I had no idea that you had even noticed my comment, and since I am currently dealing with getting evaluations for baby #3, I'm so far behind on blogposts, I didn't read this until tonight. *embarassed*

Anyway, totally understand about the insurance. I know it was hard to pay for our son's first evaluation. And the second one when we got the other kid done was a whammy. $3K each time, and for that we got everything. WISC WIAT all subtests and subscores TOVA and multiple other emotional, social tests, computerized attention tests. (Those ones are completely unbiased, cause the computer watches you, not someone with an agenda) It also included speech asessments, PT, OT and other checks.

So you know, if you ever have different insurance or more money or feel the need or whatever, there are degrees of psychoeducational testing. School districts will do some for free, but they rarely do the comprehensive tests you can get privately, and nowadays, a truly ethical psychologist will insist on doing them all. Some skimp, but that doesn't always work.

My nephew is a case in point. They didn't do the full gamut of tests and he ended up with literally 5 different labels over 10 years and absolutely NO therapy that helped him until we convinced them to go for the full one.

And now, at 16, he refuses to even try to do anything. He's a brilliant gifted writer, and will likely flunk out next year.

For now, you are likely fine. But if Patrick keeps having issues in a few years and nothing is working, why not pay, or find a way to make the school pay?

You may have a lot more money then. Who knows?

Meantime, love your blog, as always! Take care!