Bookish

Last Thursday Caroline greeted my enthusiasm for the toilet with a near-bovine lack of comprehension. I despaired and wondered how bad pool furniture and roofing plastic would look in the living room, really. Friday morning she put up a struggle against being dressed that would have made Henryk Dobrzanski proud so I said fine, no diaper but you have to wear underwear if you want to eat.

[Pink Underpants Required - a nod to formality that falls below Black Tie but still higher than the afternoon wedding]

She agreed and after a leisurely forty-five minute meal (Caroline gets almost all of her calories at breakfast and Edward will only stop eating when you stop putting food in front of him so mornings take forever) she surreptitiously checked her panties and announced, "I am very dry."

Great, I said, now go pee on the potty. So she walked over, took off her underwear, sat down and peed a little. Then a few minutes later she said that she needed to pee some more and I said terrific and she did and that was it for Caroline and potty training. She's pretty much done. I mean, she's not so reliable that I'd ask you to hold her while you were engaged in restoration work on the Declaration of Independence and I still duct tape her into her diaper for naps and nighttime (Little Keeper Sleepers en route - shall advise as to their efficacy and thanks for the tip) but... she's good. Yesterday she decided she prefers the big toilet and although she needs help climbing up even with a stool she's, what, 87% percent human now? The couch and I couldn't be happier and I would be delighted to describe my easy seven step process for taking your toddler from blank incomprehension to housebroken in less than a day (perhaps in ebook form, for a modest fee) but I am as mystified as I ever was. One night Caroline had no idea what I was talking about or where or why and the next she was using the bathroom like a college sophomore.  

Weird.

Edward, meanwhile, is so disinterested in the whole thing that I found him sitting on the couch behind Caroline while she used the little potty and he was resting his feet on her head. True story.

And although he politely clapped with the rest of us as we celebrated Caroline's early successes he turned to me at the same time and said, firmly, "No go potty."

I said, "No one is asking you use the potty, Edward."

He repeated, "No. No go the potty."

Twins are (or should be) the most humbling of experiences because any time you feel like attributing your child's exemplary behavior to excellent parenting Exhibit B comes along (similar nature, identical nurture) and pees, both literally and figuratively, on your foot.

+

I get your problem with AR tests now, I get it I get it!

I sat next to Patrick in the school library on Monday (I was there to resolve a missing book issue - don't get me started or I'll get annoyed all over again*) while he took a test on The Westing Game and I watched as he struggled to multiply choose an answer so specific that the correct one hinged upon a single sentence in the book; a fact I know because I have personally read The Westing Game about a million times.

And I was like ohhhhhh this SUCKS because you can read the book and enjoy the book and understand the textured nuances of the book and mix up amber grains with purple waves and not get enough points and then they don't let you ever take a test again which sucks even harder.

For the record Patrick did get the question right (thus meeting his AR goals and securing his attendance at the last party) but if you were to ask me why I was coughing and grimacing as he hesitated between C and B I will only say that I must've swallowed a gnat or something.

B for Boom!

So cross me off the list of people who indulgently said, oh well, don't all mandatory reading programs leave something to be desired and add me to the list of people who think AR test should have a brick tied to them before they are dropped down a well. Besides, Patrick's school doesn't own any of the Septimus Heap tests and they have tests for books one two and five of the Prydain Chronicles but not two and three, which... what? What price Llyr?

+

* Well, ok, I guess you went and got me started just by sitting there.

Back in March Patrick was not allowed to check books out of the school library because the librarian said that he had two books out already and they were both overdue. The books? Rescuers Down Under and a Hannah Montana something or other. 

Patrick said that he hadn't checked them out and she showed him the computer screen which indicated that he had and told him to go check his backpack and locker and desk et cetera. He said ok and never mentioned it to anyone because he is a bit of a dummy dope.

Weeks went by and every Monday his class went to the library and Patrick did not check anything out because he was worried about the books. Finally he decided to try his luck with a Calvin & Hobbes and again she told him those other books were out and now they were really late and he needed to find them. So again he told her that he didn't check the books out and again she told him that he did. Then she mentioned it to his teacher. His teacher asked him about it and Patrick said he hadn't taken the books and when I went to pick him up that day the teacher asked me about it and I said I hadn't seen any library books at home or in his backpack for a while and when he told me what the missing books were I said "Patrick didn't check those out" and Patrick said, "That's what I keep telling them."

For reference, my certainty that this was a mistake stemmed not from my belief that my little genius is above a Hannah Montana novella; it came from my certainty that he is below one. Patrick views the library (school and public) as a vast resource for pleasure and therefore he sticks to what he knows and likes. In the six months Patrick has been at this school he has only taken out comic books: Garfield or Calvin & Hobbes. There was just no way he would have deliberately checked out anything else, especially not Hannah Montana who does not exist at all on his radar screen because he... doesn't watch TV (Caroline does. in fact Caroline will sometimes throw her arms wide and press her face against the dark screen and say, "Awwww, I love you, TV" and do you know what Edward says more than anything apart from "more please?" he says the Little Einsteins line, "Oh no! Baby piccolodactyl is trapped at the volcano!" and he says it REALLY well. it's not that we are anti-television. just Patrick. non-animated, non-science TV kinda baffles him. but anyway)   

I don't even remember what the subject was but I have never forgotten the teacherly wisdom left in the comments here which was along the lines of "I promise to believe only half of what they say happens at home if you promise to believe only half of what they say happens at school."

So I wasn't, like, pissed or anything by Patrick's account of the book incident; I assumed it was a mistake and one we could easily clear up. I figured a five second conversation with Patrick and me and the librarian would clarify the whole thing.

I kept poking my head into the library with Patrick before and after school and finally got a time when the librarian was there and we stood behind a couple of kindergartners who were checking books out. I noted that one of them instantly said, "I returned that!" the second the librarian mentioned that he already had a book out and I sympathized with the fact that she must hear that ALL THE TIME. I also noted that their system involves pulling up an entire class list and then clicking on the individual student's name before scanning the barcode on the book. Certainly not a human-error-proof system.

I smiled when she asked what I wanted and dragged Patrick out from behind my back and said that we were hoping she could help us clear up a book mystery. I explained that there were two books checked out to him and missing but he had not taken them out and thus we really could not do anything about returning them.

And then she pulled up his name and pointed to the books on the screen and said, "There they are. Those are the books he's lost."

And Patrick said, "I've never heard of those books and I really did not take them out."

And she said, "See the screen? Whose name is that?"

And my smile sort of flickered and I said, "He's quite sure he didn't check out Hannah Montana or the Rescuers - in fact he has never checked out anything but Garfield here - so there must be some mistake."

And then she said... OOOH... she said, all nasty, "Well that's his story now."

So I punched her in the nose.

Actually I did my favorite difficult customer service thing where I just repeated "He did not check those books out. There must be some mistake. Could you remove them from his record please?" while she accused poor Patrick of theft and lying and he writhed with embarrassment. Finally she said, "FINE! I'll just mark the books as Lost Forever!" and I said, "Great. Thank you."

It is not that Patrick isn't as capable as the next kid of lying; he's just not very good at it and it just didn't make any sense and even if it did - which it didn't - she didn't have to be such a tool about it.

So the librarian hates me but I'm not a big fan of her either. To be fair I am not sure how a woman who hears some iteration of "I don't have that book" five hundred million times a day is supposed to sort out the kid who really actually does not have that book but it completely flattened Patrick to be so repeatedly and patently disbelieved and I got frustrated within a minute of it myself. 

+

Books - lawfully acquired and properly acknowledged, books.

Patrick and I are listening to The Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke because the library had a copy, I wanted to save a major series for the trip and I had a vague recollection that someone had said something about a Cornelia Funke book and I thought it might have been The Thief Lord (it wasn't - it was Ink Heart.) We are about four-fifths of the way through and I am still not sure I like it. Talk about a plot that takes forever to come to a boil, my lord. Also, I always wonder about translations. Back when I took French literature I occasionally found it expeditious to read whatever it was in English and then work back from there. This was about as effective and sly as you might expect, like when I was trying to make a brilliant observation about the first of Flaubert's Trois Contes but I floundered around for the French word for parrot (it's perroquet - my professor failed to believe that it had simply slipped my mind and urged me to consider reading en francais unless I wanted to have my ass echoue'd back to the misery of straight grammar classes.)  

Have you really read War and Peace if you don't read it in Russian (don't look at me - I made it through most of the great Russian novels by skipping the less interesting plot threads, like the entire War.) Don't the words matter as much as the story? On a similar note I have always wanted to get a copy of the British edition of Harry Potter because I suspect that a few of the awkward parts might be Americanizations. Are translations ever any good? Discuss.

So The Thief Lord was written in German - a language whose breadth I was just admiring in the last post - and somehow in English the text feels a little squashed and more than a little antiquated. I was surprised when someone mentions cell phones after a few chapters because based on the language alone I had been thinking the story was set in a pre-modern time. So a little slow and a little repetitive and a little clunky but it's possible that it will all come together in the end and I'll say ohhhhhh I get it now. That happens.

I have narrowed our recorded books down to either Percy Jackson or Artemis Fowl but having read neither I cannot decide which is more likely to keep us (specifically Patrick who as recently as last night was pleading with me to end this lunacy of a planned cross-country car trip and buy some damned airline tickets - he even offered to pay for his own fare; then reconsidered and offered to reimburse me for one way. I declined) riveted. We will eventually listen to them both but if you could only be trapped in a car with the people you love and one series which would it be: Percy or Artemis?

And as long as we are feeling all bookish, any thoughts I what I should read next? I did read (and like) the Flavia de Luce mysteries you recommended. I wasn't sure I was going to because I did not find Flavia particularly likable but she grew on me in time. Once we get to Vermont we have a week's worth of hot and cold running babysitter and my plan is to sit and read while the finks do *hand wave* whatever. I am toying with the idea of trying Dorothy Dunnett's House of Niccolo again but I am not entirely enthusiastic about it. I loved (loved) her Lymond Series but I fully acknowledge that it was a slog to get into and by a slog I don't mean you had to grit your teeth through a couple of chapters. It was more like the first two entire books.   

So summer reading? Nothing too depressing. I am sitting here looking at my bookshelves for recommendations for you and I guess if I had two series I wish I could read all over again for the first time it would be the Aubrey-Maturin series by Patrick O'Brian and the Lucia and Mapp books by E F Benson.

+

Six seconds of Caroline 

Sixty minutes of Edward

PS An ad! There is an ad on the sidebar (among all the Dominos - good ol' Dominos) for a company called Golden Branch. The woman who did the site is a reader and this is her job and I was so touched that she bought an ad that I wanted to point it out to you. It is a very pretty site and they sell lovely things and isn't it always nicer to buy flowers from actual people, even online?

Comments

[Kathy]

For you, an excellent translated book by Carlos Ruiz Zafon: The Shadow of the Wind.

:-)

[Heidi]

I haven't had a chance to read comments yet, but regarding Patrick and the library books, I had something similar happen when I was in fourth grade. As Little Miss Pleaser, and a voracious reader, I was TRAUMATIZED to be told that (a) I hadn't taken care of my books, and (b) until further notice, I couldn't check anything out.

After a few weeks, I had the bright idea of checking the shelf to see if the book in question was there. It was. No apology from the librarian, though, and a distinct impression that she thought I'd pulled a fast one and put the book back on the shelf myself. See? I still remember it almost 40 years later.

Tell Patrick to check on the shelves, or do it yourself. You never know. The same thing also happened to me at my university library a time or two.

[victoria]

I hate that librarian for disbelieving Patrick too. What a smug @#$% bureaucratic %^&*.

Poor Patrick.

[beth s]

Harry Potter in British version for sure. I have read both versions of books 1 thru 5 and much prefer the British. Not sure why they think the Americans need it dumbed down. We (7yr old and myself) both loved the Percy Jackson series (still have not seen the movie but redbox will have it soon) but I couldn't get into Artemis. Will probably try again this summer. Our big roadtrip audio is the full Lion, Witch, and Wardrobe series. I hope the readers are good since it is 17 disks and we have 2 weeks in the car.

[Noelle]

Hi Julia,

My vote is for Percy, but with Artemis along as well, just in case. Percy is decidedly lighter in tone and quite funny. Our whole household has loved them. I don't know how the recorded version is.

As for translations, I often wonder that. I read "Let the Right One In" translated from the Swedish. Either it was a horrific hack-job of a translation, or the author really does write in a clunky, odd way. Overall, I enjoyed the book (dark, dark, dark, though, leaving me with odd dreams for days), but I often wondered at the translation.

[jan]

Lioness -- because g-d forbid Americans should be challenged to add additional words to their vocabularies (or that the publishing or film industry should take the risk of asking them gasp, to pay for that opportunity), especially expressions from another Kultur for perfectly good, pure, red-blooded American things such as kissing and sweaters and candy and dessert and automobile hoods and umbrellas and sneakers. Feh.

[MFA Mama]

My nine-year-old read Artemis Fowl last year and loooooved it. So while I haven't read it myself (my husband did, we didn't just chuck a random unvetted book at the boy) I hear good things.

[Jil]

After 2 years of trying to potty train the oldest daughter, she did it in one day also. Second daughter received no asking or pleading from me and potty trained at 22 months in one day. As hard as it is to do, there is something to be said for waiting until they are ready.

As a former library worker, try looking for the books in the stacks where it belongs. Sometimes books don't get checked in but just shelved. I have busted the Hennepin County Library quite a few times. It really makes the library employee embarrassed...aka revenge!

[Kris]

As a school librarian myself (both elementary and junior high, at various times), I'm appalled at all the "mean librarian" stories. Of COURSE we make mistakes! In a case like Patrick's, I usually check the shelf with the kid first thing. And for heaven's sake, who does the checkouts every week? It doesn't take long for me to know my students and what their tastes are, so if a boy who only reads cartoons has an overdue Hannah Montana, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. That said, I wish I had a quarter for every kid who swore up and down they'd returned a book already, and then showed up with it the next day! Anyhow, sounds like you found the lemon in an otherwise wonderful school--too bad it had to be the librarian!

[April]

Julia, if you haven't already read/heard it you should get Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt on audio tape--he reads it himself and with the cadence and the brogue, it's one of the best audiobooks I've experienced. Cheers.

[barbara]

done both artemis and percy, and I think artemis is bette written. Plus I much prefer the artemis narrator. But I appear to be in the minority. Personally I think patrick might prefer artemis - artemis is much savvier - percy is more of a bumbling brave hero type - but I could be wrong.

[Jen]

Another vote for Diana Gabaldon and the Outlander series. Those books are addictive. Re: translations, I feel guilty about it, but I tend to steer clear of them because I'm not actually reading what the author wrote, or experiencing the book the way the author meant it to be experienced. (I feel similarly--and similarly guilty!--about subtitled films.)

[Lawmommy]

Percy. Hands down. Percy all the way. (So sayeth 10-year-old bookworm and Morel hunter Gabriel, from his perch next to me, where he has his nose buried in the next Rick Riordan, the first in a series called the Kane Chronicles.)

Librarian was a bit of an asshat, I think.

[amelie]

I vote for Artemis - better written, smarter, bigger vocab, complex, and Artemis starts out brillant (and evil) badish guy and over the series stays brillant but becomes more loving and more ethical - you know, character development - but in a cool, techno kind of way. Great on tape! Percy was less literary, kinda shallow - but a fun story - light good vs. evil fare. Good intro to mythology - but - typical characters and predicatable. OK on tape. Loved Harry Potter on tape -Jim Dale is a genius(!). We can put in any CD from any book and know exacly where we are in one sentence - a game in our house. What this tells me is that we spend too much time in the car.... Have you tried Series of Unfortunate Events - we enjoyed it much more on tape than in the print version!

[winecat]

Oh Steg Larson for sure, Cutting for Stone, The Help and I just finished You fall down and the spirit catches you - non fiction, wonderful

[tgsdmom]

Just one thing: If the librarian has many kids denying that they took and/or not returned books, it probably means she has a problem keeping things in order. IMHO.

[margalit]

We really liked the FOWL books, but one thing really bothered me about them. Fowl is a genius and people keep making genius remarks. If Patrick is aware of his giftedness, he might take offense at the way giftedness is handled. Just a thought.

Caroline should be on TV. She is just that dramatic!

[Kez]

My kid also trained super-fast like Caroline, once we introduced consequences. Mind you, he was nearly four...

I think you've answered your own question regarding audio books for the WDT. The English version of Harry Potter. As read by Stephen Fry. STEPHEN FRY. If his dulcet tones don't soothe fractious seven year old geniuses and Twinkles (not to mention their parents), nothing will.

Although I will also second the Jim Herriott books. I devoured them at Patrick's age. More idyllic Britishness, and quite frankly it's never too early to try to turn your kids into Anglophiles in my opinion. Which reminds me also of some the less sinister Sherlock Holmes stories as an option as well.

[katie]

I read the first Harry Potter for the first time in the US. Someone had search-and-replaced SOME but not ALL of the British-English words. Including SOME but not ALL of "mum" for "mom".

You can imagine how very very irritating that was.

[Erica]

Oh, the elementary school librarian! We had a months-long battle over some book or another. I finally said, let me hold on this here phone while you go look for this book that my child would never in a million years check out. And behold! Said book was resting merrily on the shelf.

Of course this year, my delightful child misplaced a book every other week and completely lost a book on hedgehogs or something, so any indignation I might have been entitled to seeped away.

[kcc]

Eerie -- I JUST had a similar exchange w/my son's school librarian YESTERDAY. Here is what I said in an email:
Dear Mrs. Librarian,
We have thoroughly looked through the house, XX's backpack, and his cubby, but XX says he is SURE that he gave this book
to Mrs. ZZ (the other librarian). I will send him in to discuss this with you tomorrow!
Thanks!

Here is what I got back:
I just checked the shelf, and it's here. It's possible that the book
came back after the notice went out. Sometimes we cross paths. Thanks
for checking.

I'm pretty sure there were no crossed paths, but no harm, no foul, other than no book for my kid at library last week. May I suggest you take a stroll into the library and look for the missing books on the shelf yourself?

[Jody]

Could the teacher please ask the entire class if anyone has those two missing books? Just to set my mind at ease? Because clearly SOMEONE in the class has them, and if that dear person would just return them, then justice could be served.

I recommend Percy, so long as Patrick will not be too disturbed by modern children descending to mythology-laden Hades. Granted my second-graders didn't bat an eye, but I was a tiny bit freaked out.

[Vicki]

If you like Patrick O'Brian, you might try Naomi Novik's Temeraire series. It's fantasy/historical adventure. Here is the quote from her editor: "Our brand new star, Naomi Novik, will be bursting onto the fantasy scene next year (January 2006) with the extraordinary Temeraire. Stephen King describes it as a cross between Susanna Clarke and Patrick O'Brian, and he's spot on—it's the first in a series charting the Napoleonic Wars, with a difference: dragons as Air Corps. Beautifully done, affecting, lyrical, and reads rather like Jane Austen: an astonishing achievement for a first-time American writer."

The first book in the series is called His Majesty's Dragon.

[Katie]

I'm a school librarian, and I so hate to hear these stories! Some of us are nice, and kind, and friendly, I promise! I just wish those crabby ones wouldn't give us nice ones such a bad rap. I agree with the comment that we should be teaching children that the library is a welcoming, friendly place to be. And yes, check those shelves! Sorry that Patrick had such a yuck-o library experience.

As a fellow mom of boy/girl twins, LOVE your blog.

[Linda]

Start with Love Walked In by Marisa De los Santos, then her next one Belong To Me. Julia Glass's Three Junes, then The Whole World Over, and I See You Everywhere.The best of times by Penny Vincenzi if you like big English novels.

[Shawna]

"Are translations ever any good? Discuss."

I don't have the English to compare them to, but I can tell you that the French versions of the Harry Potter series are fantastic. The sorting hat? Le choixpeau. Brilliant!

I'm doing my French oral testing again this year and I can tell you that, in order to get my mind in the right mode again, I plan on deliberately seeking out books that this same translator has worked on.

[elsimom]

thing one: do not listen to Angela's Ashes if you are trying to avoid depressing. My goodness - it is a beautiful book, and there are funny parts, but I am not sure I will ever recover from the sadness in that book. NOT for vacation in my opinion.

thing two: Stieg Larsson. Very compelling, not difficult, lots of twists and turns.
thing three: Stephanie Plum. HILARIOUS - laugh out loud funny in spots - and short, and widely available in paperback that you can leave behind for someone else when you are done. warning though: bring several they are super-fast reads.

I don't know about Artemis or Percy having not yet read either.

Thing next: I can't be the only one who finds the Patrick/Hannah Montana combo very humorously incongruent.

finally-I wonder whether the child (likely a girl, I think) above or below Patrick in the class list could have chosen those books. Are you acquainted with that child or his/her parents? If the books aren't on the shelf, I bet they're in the possession of someone alphabetically near Patrick . . . .

[Cheryl]

Is there a reason you may only take one set of audiobooks with you? Considering the cost of some suggestions for entertainment on the trip (ie. multiple DVD players, etc.), it might be worth your while to get both with the understanding that eventually you'll listen to them - if not on the trip then after. That way if one doesn't work, the other is available. But if you must choose only one, I am a huge fan of the Percy Jackson series. (I'm a little biased, since I haven't read Artemis Fowl yet, but the PJ books truly are excellently done.) I do not think the mythology is too much, and shouldn't be a deterrent - I believe Rick Riordan wrote the books as a way of introducing mythology to the uninitiated so prior knowledge of the myths isn't really necessary.

One reader recommended Jodi Picoult - but perhaps her books are a little heavy for a vaction? Her writing is supposed to be beautiful, but very weighty. I have not read them myself yet, so I may be wrong.

Great suggestions from other posts about checking the shelves for the lost books. Another possible idea based on the way you described the system of pulling up a class list and highlighting a name to scan books out of the library - check the class list and see if there's a girl next to Patrick's name who might be the type to check out Hannah Montana and the Rescuers. It's possible the wrong name was highlighted to begin with and perhaps somebody else needs a little nudging to return the books. Especially if all reminders have been bombarding Patrick rather than somebody who may actually have checked the books out.

And a terribly translated book, from it's German original: The Neverending Story. One of the few times when I will say the movie is better than the book. I was required to read it out loud to my classes this year, as part of a school-wide book read, and despite being a HUGE fan of read-alouds, this one made my want to pull my hair out. It truly was the NEVERENDING story.

[Marsha]

Check out the Persephone Books catalog. Persephone is the publishing house that brought "Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day" back to life, along with many other forgotten gems. For vacation fun I recommend "Miss Buncle's Book". In a more serious mood "Few Eggs and No Oranges" (or something very similar) would keep you busy for a while - it's a diary documenting a Londoner's experience of WWII and is somber but engaging. My Persephone wishlist is roughly have of their catalog, so excellent are their offerings.

[Cheryl]

Thought of another series of books Patrick may enjoy at some point. The Peter and the Starcatchers books are enjoyable, but long. They are a type of prequel to the Peter Pan story.

[Ruth]

Are you saving the Harry Potter books for another time? We listened to them on our annual cross-country drive (yes, ANNUAL. Our relatives all live far away, and we are cheap) when my older kids were Patrick's age, and they were fabulous. Jim Dale is a miracle.

For you, I am about to be a broken record; check out the Appalachian ballad books by Sharyn McCrumb. I like them in sequence, although each can stand alone ... the first in the series is "If Ever I Return, Pretty Peggy-O". Wonderful, wonderful books.

One more ... have you read "The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane" (by Katherine Howe)? I read it on vacation last year, and liked it a lot.

[Erika]

AaarghhH!!! I'm a librarian (at a medical school), and this drives me batty! Some members of my profession just have not gotten the message that WE ARE NOT GATEKEEPERS ANYMORE.

And good lord, even if he *had* checked it out and lost it, they can't just cut him some slack? We forgive students at least one "lost" item while they're here--and it doesn't matter if it's a $200 anatomy text.

[FP Wear]

Artemis for sure. It's clever.
And I didn't have any recommendations for you, until I read the one for the Fionavar Tapestry above. I second it.

[Ruth]

p.s. Your local library would also be a good resource for the trip. Ours lets us check out audiobooks for three weeks, renewable online if need be.

[mim]

Try Naomi Novik's Temeraire books. The first one is His Majesty's Dragon, but the first three books are also available in omnibus form, In His Majesty's Service.

She's a big fan of Patrick O'Brian, and I think the Temeraire books have been compared to his books, but with dragons.

And she has a website where you can read excerpts.
http://temeraire.org/index.cgi?pagetype=writing

[Cathy]

I'm half-way through "The Name of the Wind" by Patrick Rothfuss and it is really good.

[Carovaire]

The librarian gives shame to the profession. I am so sorry and encourage you to complain to the administration. Books? For you: Little, Big, by John Crowley; The Sparrow, by Mary Doria Russell. Easy readin'? P.G. Wodehouse, Angela Thirkell, Katie Fforde. How about stories of heroes, champions, and myths for car listening? Roger Lancelyn Green, Andrew Lang, Howard Pyle, John Bellairs, Lloyd Alexander. (Some of my favorite children's authors: Edward Eager, Edith Nesbit, Eleanor Estes.) Bon voyage and happy trails...

[Bree]

Patrick's teacher-librarian is a tool. I'm a TL myself - simple way for her to find the books? 1) Look for them on the shelf. If they were signed out accidentally under his profile maybe they were returned incorrectly, too. 2) Ask the class if anyone has those books. Since she has to access each profile by calling up a class list, odds are another kid in the class has those books. 3) If a student and a parent insists the books were never signed out then just erase them from his profile.

Her behaviour with you and Patrick was completely inappropriate. Great way to make kids love coming to the library! We're supposed to be role models of behaviour for our students. Her actions just taught Patrick that telling the truth is never enough and that admitting you're wrong is bad. Not to mention that being hostile is the best way to deal with a disagreement! Wonderful.

[Issa]

Percy Jackson. That's my vote for Patrick. My eight year old and I just read it a few weekends ago.

YAY for potty training Caroline. Girls tend to just get it one day. Boys? Oh well heck if I know. My son is 20 months. He won't go to college in diapers. I'm pretty sure. Ha.

[Amelia]

Just in case you have not tried them, the Terry Pratchett Diskworld series is wonderful, and very funny especially if you have a science background (it's a scifi/fantasy series). I started them in high school so I'm not sure if they would be appropriate for Patrick. It takes him a couple of books to find his grove so if you don't like the first one "The Color of Magic," skip to "Guards Guards."

[Kristin]

Even if the book WERE lost in Patrick's bag, or desk, or room...the way the librarian spoke to him and you was out of line. I marvel at how some people speak to kids, as if it's OK to be rude to them because they're kids. Professional courtesy is a wonderful thing, ESPECIALLY with a young sensitive populaton that ought rather to be lured to the joys of reading. -)

[Bianca]

I like the Dorothy Dunnett Lymond series tho I've only gotten up to Queen's Play, as it does take some effort.

Have you tried the Outlander series? Fluffy, historical, time-travel books. That are like each 650 pages and take like two days because they are hella fluffy. Have just read the first- I enjoyed it.

I really like the Potato Peel Pie Society... (that may not be the full title- have a bit of a fever and not feeling well enough to do the work to get the correct title).

Do you read T.C. Boyle? He's great. I absolutely LOVE Water Music. An easy read, but very good, and very emotional.

[Chi-An]

Haven't read Percy Jackson but based on the comments I'm now interested. We are 'only' letting our 6-year-old read up through book 3 of Harry Potter and he asks on a daily basis when he can read further. Trying to get him onto Artemis Fowl but he claims he's only interested if the main character can do magic himself.

But really I'm posting because my husband walked by, looked over my shoulder at the pix of Caroline, and said, "Why are there... OH. Those *aren't* pictures of our daughter." Seriously, I know I've said it before, but I say it everytime I see pix of Caroline, she looks like Miranda's Caucasian twin (my kids are hapa). That would be Miranda my daughter, of course, not Miranda the next of your ex-whomever.

[Slim]

I have Percy Jackson fans under my roof. Also, does your public library offer OverDrive audiobooks? You might be able to borrow Percy Jackson -- the whole series! -- if you get on the hold list now.

[Lioness]

Cheryl, oh no! The Neverending Story is an astonishingly lovely story, about bravery in unexpected places, love and loyalty! I don't actually think it's a book for children, although I see why children like it. Or would, if properly translated. The Portuguese version is alright, although one sentence is missing if I remember correctly (it was the first book I read in German as soon as my German became good enough).

I've been thinking about Harry Potter, and the vocabulary adjustment bothers me on some levels. First of all, like Jan said, I do loathe the assumption that American children need it dumbed down. I think it's part of a trend though, no offence to Americans but I have often seen subtitles when foreigners are speaking and mind, they did have an accent but were always very intelligible so why the need to "trans

[Lioness]

Sorry, cat jumped on keyboard. Anyway, yes, I don't understand the need to "translate" their English. It's demeaning both to the speakers and the viewers.

Secondly, the Harry Potter series is many things, and it certainly is very English. That is part of what makes it so charming (says I) and I'm not surprised the book will be a bit off once that's been changed. The words might be American (dessert! And hood! Noooo!) but the phrasing and context is still British English, it's bound to sound horrid. Oh I can't think about it anymore, the waste!

[Tor]

I second Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series, and Terry Pratchett's Discworld (and agree with not reading "The Colour Of Magic" but starting with "Guards, Guards" instead).

My other favourite author is Patricia Brigg - fun, fast fantasy with strong female leads. The covers can be a bit embarassing though. I'd start with her earlier books - Steal the Dragon, then/or When Demons Walk.

Oh and if you haven't already, you should try Jasper Fforde's Thursday Next series! Hard to describe, but I think you'd like them. The first is The Eyre Affair.

[Taryn]

for an ongoing source of book suggestions, try goodreads.com. I just signed up last night, but it seems like a great idea...say what you've read, write reviews if you're inclined, and get suggestions from others.

[Kim]

Well I've not read Artemis Fowl but I did just finish the 5th Percy Jackson. I did enjoy them, but I did really like Harry Potter and am a fan of greek mythology. My now 10 year old (started reading them when she was 9) loved them and made me read them too. She fancies herself to be about 15. I say this because Percy Jackson and his buddies start out about 12 and end up about 16 and they are very much middle schoolers the whole way. Questionable ethics, lots of unnecessary drama, cheesy lines etc. My daughter loved it, my eyes hurt from rolling a few times. Harry Potter and his buddies are much more admirable and well rounded. Not sure if any of this effects you or Patrick. I had to take a break from the series for a while just because I was feeling overwhelmed by teenage angst. It's definitely not as bad as Twilight though which my daughter also thought was the bees knees. I'm hoping by her getting some of this out of her system now she'll eventually turn to more noble literary pursuits. But such is the way. I'm just glad she loves reading as much as she does.

Has anyone recommended the Mysterious Benedict Society series? She has loved that one, to the point of bringing it to dinner so she can read passages aloud to the rest of us. Also Molly Moon - my 7 year old loves that one too. It's a lot of fun - we've been reading it aloud.

Good luck. At least Patrick appreciates books. Best wishes on your road trip. No advice - we had the girls watch a lot of movies. Saved our sanity.

Take Care.

[Marty52]

I recently read a series of 8 books by Kim Harrison starting with "Dead Witch Walking." Great series... lots of action of the witch, vampire, elf genre. I never thought I would read these type of books but the writing was so good I couldn't help myself. The characters are full and the story line is great. Really good reads, every one of them. By the way, each book's title is a play on a Clint Eastwood movie, which is interesting in and of itself. I highly recommend them for major escapist reading.