Patrick Calls Leftovers Used Food

Caroline and Edward have not been sick in months, which is like five millennia in toddler years. So I was neither surprised nor distressed when Edward started snuffling and then Caroline got all whuffly and now they both have full-blown streaming colds. The Generals were due. Fortunately - for me; fat lot of good it does the twinkles - I got a post-flu sinus infection last Fall that was so awful and lingering that I finally listened to you about the neti pot and I am now a crazy-eyed convert who breathes freely and easily while those around me gunk up the place.

Seriously. If you are not using a neti pot you are a fool. A fool, I tell you. Sure it's kinda weird and gross and I worried that it would be like inhaling pool water after a bad dive but after years of feeling like I was perpetually a little runny I am now the center of sinus envy by all and sundry. I got mine at Walgreens and it cost like $0.95 and it came with some alkaline packets and it works like a dream and I am very very grateful to those of you who nudged me in this direction.

However, some of us are not big enough to irrigate yet so we've got this today

I know I am his mother but I think Edward is SO PRETTY even when he feels like death. He's got some golden era movie star thing going on but I can never decide if it's the 20s 30s or 50s. Anyway poor Edward always gets so much sicker than Caroline although you would not know it from her behavior. Like her father she tends to cosset herself at the first sign of illness.

First she made a bed for herself on the couch

the she took to it.

"Poor Caroline," she kept saying while she lolled under the blanket and grinned at me. Meanwhile Edward had to lean over and rest his cheek against my foot at one point because he was too weak to push a Matchbox car. 

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The tramampoline. Even when you all say different things I find it helpful. In the case of the Super Fun Bone Breaker Family Togetherness Spinal Injury BestWorst Gift Ever I read all of your thoughts and we were able to make an informed indecision. Our insurance company said it would not affect either our home owners' or our personal liability policy (called an umbrella policy if you're into that sort of thing) provided the trampoline has a safety net and provided our house is not within 1000 feet of another house in the absence of a fence or provided there is no visibility or access from either the road or the neighbors. So they were cool with it. Steve and I talked about it while we took Caroline and Edward for a walk this morning. Steve is inclined to say hell no. I am inclined to say yes with the caveat that I am only interested in the springfree trampoline a few of you mentioned and there would have to be a one person, no somersault rule in effect. Yeah I know you all just said suuuuuuuure that will happen with kids but you'd be amazed at just how hypercontrolling and hovering I can be when I put my mind to it. Or maybe you wouldn't.

Anyway we're still thinking about it. I looked at bounce houses as a compromise but you have to keep taking them down all the time and they don't seem to last very long; ditto big inflatable waterslides. I asked Steve what he thought a good outdoor childhood activity gift might be and he said "dirt bike!" so he is clearly no help.

Someone in the comments (I forget who, sorry) pointed out the absurdity of juxtaposing Patrick's coordination issues with contemplating a bouncy death trap and I laughed when I read it because when you put it THAT way it does sound a little odd but the two things are related. I am trying to come up with fun ways for Patrick to practice using his body in conjunction with physical therapy and (I hope) eventual OT and a trampoline... safety issues aside... seems like a great way to do just that. We'll see. Steve seemed pretty unenthusiastic and he generally gets his way in the end. I am open to other suggestions. I mean open to other normal suggestions - not dirt bikes. For Patrick. Talk about absurd. He likes to hike and he likes to run but he might need to be encouraged in other directions. Any ideas on fun things you can play with outside that won't cause orthopedists to click their tongues at me?

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Sorry. This whole post is running like a boarding house hash of the last post but you had so much to say and I have so much to say back and...

Clothes. One of the best suggestions I got was from Jennie who recommended a site called My Shape. The set up is a big pain because they take a million footling measurements (I dragged Steve out of bed to come measure me and when I got to the distance between my shoulder blades he was, like, OH MY GOD ENOUGH) but once they get all of your dimensions they (claim) to only show you things that (allegedly) flatter your shape and they have a thing called sizeless dressing where you find something you like and add it to your cart without a size because they will pick what will fit you based upon your measurements. Granted I thought many many many of the garments were... not to my taste... but I found a goodly handful of things that were quite fetching.

So I thought I would pass it along.

Oh! And if you go and you see stuff you want to buy email me first and I will send you a referral from my login and then we will both get a $25 credit. This isn't one of those weird bloggy things, by the way, like when a company pays a blog to introduce them to young ladies of refinement for temporary companionship or tries to get a mommy blogger to sell you a car by letting her drive one for a month. It's just like if we were neighbors and I told you about it. My Shape doesn't know me from Adam Ant.

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What else?

Oh right.

MAYDAY!

Patrick and I are within five tracks of finishing the Septimus Heap series on CD (the series so far that is) and I need more recorded books suggestions. I don't remember what you said last time or even what post it was on. If I was more organized I would gather all these suggestions into a centralized place so we could access them easily but I am not. Or I am not yet. Maybe in the future.

I had planned on starting Percy Jackson next but I think I might save that for our cross-county trip in June. Personally I am listening to Bill Bryson on Shakespeare but I need something that Patrick and I will both enjoy. We have only done Horatio Hiccup and the Heap books so far so I suspect there are a lot of possibilities. I'd love suggestions. I had no idea how much pleasure I would get from these audiobooks but it is really a highlight of my day, definitely the sanity protector for my drive and Patrick and I have bonded like crazy over Septimus.

"Oh HA HA" Patrick says like a young Sloan Ranger or "That is your wish? You wish for me to not call you stupid?"

Love it.

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This thirty second video of Caroline and Edward is basically a punchline but I thought it was funny. I call it "Hey Ed-wad... fetch!"

AH HA! I have escaped typepad and am trying Vimeo to get this damned video up. It's probably not worth it but the password is "fetch".

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I got an email from a woman I like and respect a great deal who mentioned how impressed she is by the quality of collective advice you guys are generous enough to offer and who hoped you might be able to help her with a school dilemma she and her daughter are having. I promised to ask you.

She says:

My daughter is finishing up first grade. It has been a difficult year for her with some playground bullies, not having many good friends among the girls, and not doing very well academically. Between a very small preschool experience and being diagnosed with bilateral mild to moderate hearing loss just before kindergarten, she comes across as more immature than the other kids and needs much more direction from the teacher. She's a bright girl and very social but for whatever reason she just hasn't seemed to click with the other kids. We have plans in place for the summer and I think she will get almost fully caught up this summer in that aspect. But I'm wondering if we should hold her back in first grade. It's a very small school and doing so will be very noticeable to her peers. Do the pros outweigh the possible social cons?

Any thoughts for her?

PS Ollie is under Featured Readers. He was born with Spinal Muscular Atrophy and he was delightful and gorgeous and he died before his first birthday. His family could use prayers/good thoughts right now as his baby brother and sister were just born very early and the nicest thing we could do for them in addition to sending positive whatsits is to educate ourselves and others about SMA. Thank you.  

Comments

[kay]

Love the netti pot. My 14 year old son actually askes for it when he is all gunky.

We also have a trampoline- with protective netting and have had zero injuries and 100% fun. I too rule the house so no rough play,somersaults, no more then one person at a time,etc. Now that I have a 16 year old daughter- no boys abd girls anywhere near trampoline together. Bouncing and hormones cannot be a good combination.

[amanda]

Thank you, again, dear Julia for remembering Ollie and helping us bring attention to the awfulness of SMA.

[Karen O]

I graduated from a neti pot to a slightly more high tech version:

http://www.natlallergy.com/prod/1502/grossan-hydro-pulse-nasal-sinus-irrigation-system-for-nasal-congestion.html

It works a bit like a Water Pik for your nose; it's efficient and effective and keeps my sinuses healthy. I use my own salt and baking soda mix, but occasionally splurge on products with xylitol which is ever so pleasant.

I have also had wonderful success with cranial sacral massage. I have no idea how it works - the pressure is very light and it's not al all like a relaxation massage. This definition sheds a little light:
"Because it moves stagnant cerebrospinal fluid within the bones of the skull, cranial sacral techniques create an influx of circulation, which consequently eases sinus pressure. This technique is especially useful for head, jaw, and eye and ear pain from chronic sinusitis."

As far as I'm concerned, it's mostly magic.

[Heather]

I was held back in kindergarten. While I was not young for my grade (May birthday), I was immature and very shy, and had trouble coping with the classroom environment. I excelled academically and had friends throughout my academic career, and I think repeating that year gave me additional confidence which probably helped me academically.

However, I was extremely ashamed of being held back. No one in my school knew and I lived in fear of being found out. I hated my birthday because it just reinforced how I was a year older than my friends. As I got older I would not even mention when it was my birthday to my friends so I wouldn't have to say how old I was. It is only since I've been an adult that I've been able to enjoy my birthday.

As I mentioned I believe my academic skills were improved by being held back, but I don't think it influenced my social skills at all. Therefore, I would suggest NOT holding her back.

[Lisame]

Twister! Cheap. Super Fun! Great for coordination and good all year 'round. We really only pull it out when we have company (other kids to play with) but it always a hit, good all year and stores easy.

[Karen]

We just listened to Ella Enchanted and the kids loved it. The reader is a bit squeaky but the book is really nice. And long.

We are going to get a swing to hang from the old oak tree. Also a neat little pogo stick kind of thing that hangs also. I didn't comment on the trampoline because I'm hampered by having grown up with a pediatrician for a father - backyard trampolines are verboten for me and mine.

[Jessica]

For an outdoor activity (or even indoor, space permitting), how about a rock climbing wall?

[Julianna]

I don't have time to read all the comments yet, so I don't know if anyone else has posted this yet. Why don't you ask Patrick's physical therapist for suggestions of outdoor activities that would be helpful for him? And also get her opinion on trampolines? I know when my son was in physical therapy for a different issue as a baby, the therapist was always really helpful answering my questions about what we should and shouldn't do/use with him. Even if Patrick hasn't officially started therapy yet, it seems like a nice place that you have an existing relationship with via Edward -- I bet they'd be willing to give you some suggestions. Can't hurt to ask!

[Felicity]

Ooh, I agree that Edward is like a baby James Dean. Beautiful, indeed. And I just saw a picture of the Lil Rascals - Caroline=Darla, no?

[digitalpagan]

The Harry Potter series is read by Jim Dale and he is absolutely phenomenal! I cannot recommend it highly enough!

[yammeringon]

I thought of another thing about holding back, regarding social difficulties. Sometimes there are kids who just don't like other kids their age very well. I was one of them and so is my daughter. I really wanted to hang out with adults. Even though I had(a few, sometimes) friends at this age,for the most part I wasn't interested in other kids and they certainly weren't interested in me. I don't think I ever really liked kids until I had my own. Now I like my own and those of good friends, but often have to suppress the urge to tell off the random ruffians who tell off my daughter. (am I the only mother to ever have to stop herself from meanly whispering "Santa HATES you" to the kindergarten class bully? tell me I'm not.)

Is it possible that some of Chris's daughter's social issues stem from congenital misanthropy, such as runs in my family? If so, holding her back is definitely not the cure - the only way through is to become the grownup you always wanted to hang out with. And that takes time and lots of (ahem) character-building experiences.

Which, I suppose, is an argument against holding back. So far I seem to have one argument in favor, two opposed. Clearly, I am a helpful contributor who knows her own mind(s).

[Michelle]

So glad you have found the neti-pot. I suffered from a three month sinus infection every spring and fall for years that was completely immune to medicine and now after five years of faithful use experience a brief one maybe once a year or every other year.

Re: holding her daughter back. I really hope she doesn't do it as it seems entirely optional as opposed to a must. My husband was held back and repeated first grade because he was not reading well and I can assure you the lifetime of self-esteem damage it has caused was the absolute wrong thing. At age 35 it may as well have been last week for how often it gets mentioned and how much it continues to bother him.

[maria]

outdoor activities:

my older children (aged 7 and 9) love their POGO sticks!
second favorite are the STILTS.

great fun, good for balance, proprioception, core strength... and all you need is a driveway.

the littler ones (aged 2 and 4) love the AIR pogo (a pogo stick you hang in a tree)

[vanessa]

I have no advice about anything except the trampoline: really, I think they are great things and I think that gymnastics generally, when done safely, can help kids build a ton of confidence and all kinds of Mad Physical Skillz.
Percy Jackson is GREAT.
Harry Potter is a lot better though and the audio books of that are terrific...the first few are not as heavy, either.

[vanessa]

OH! Also, have you ever listened to Radio Lab? There are some episodes that wouldn't be at all OK for someone Patrick's age, but there are also a lot that would. "Parasites" for example, maybe "Lucy"...anyway, they are all free downloadable podcasts and they are very well done.

[Alex]

Your friend should definitely not hold her daughter back. If she has the resources/ability to switch schools, like you did with Patrick, I would recommend that (from personal experience). That sort of social stigma is not easily forgotten in a peer group and it could follow her around for a very long time. I'm not really seeing any pros in having her repeat a grade; she will just be alienated from two groups of kids. I liked the suggestion of a younger friend through the summer. Also, anything where she is able to interact with a completely different group of kids might boost her self-esteem a little and better equip her for school come fall.

[Michelle]

Lemony Snicket! I think you and Patrick will both adore them - and yes, Tim Curry is simply amaaaazing.

[SarahB]

To your friend deciding what to do regarding school next year for her daughter, I'd encourage her to read some of the articles posted here: http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/retain.index.htm A friend of mine was just going through the same debate with her son, and this site brought up some points she hadn't thought of yet.

[Hawkeyegirl]

I know you didn't ask this and someone else may have suggested it to you already, but if you are looking for a place to keep your books (owned and recommended) in one place- Goodreads.com is totally awesome. I read a ton of book blogs and open a goodreads window at the same time, then I just enter the books I want to read someday in and add them to my list! It's also a great community of book loving folks. There are some great conversations, lots of really cool giveaways and tons of authors are part of it too. I can't recommend it enough! My name is Hawkeyegirl on goodreads too, if you or anyone else wants to be friends.

I also think Artemis Fowl is a good choice for audio, the graphic novels are good too. Also Redwall, Lemony Snickett and Tamora Pierce's Circle of Magic series- they have a full cast do the audio, it's brilliant!

[Amy]

I don't see what advantages there could possibly be to holding that 1st grader back. Don't do it. Gather whatever supports you and the school have available and use them. I'm a teacher and I have rarely seen holding kids back to be beneficial.

[Stevey]

Re: audiobooks

Have you thought about eoin colfer's Artemis Fowl series? Or Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events books? The Lemony Snickets are brilliant fun, and while I haven't personally read the Artemis Fowl books my little brother (now a not-so-little 19 year-old...) loved them when he was younger.
This is my first comment, so I'd just like to say how much I enjoy reading your blog :)

[Allison]

Patrick will love Lemony Snicket - so many fun big words in those books and I know someone mentioned it above but TIM CURRY! I love audio books and his performance is great.

[Amanda]

I love that you mentioned Adam Ant - I have only 3 name-dropping links, but one I love is the fact that my 6 year old goes to school with the daughter of the drummer from Adam and the Ants. I was just so excited when I found out. Pathetic maybe, but I loved Adam and the Ants growing up.

For the record, my eldest has autism and sensory issues, as well as hypermobility (very floppy, all loose-limbed), and every professional we speak to suggests a trampoline - good exercise, improves co-ordination and core muscle strength or something.

Love reading your stuff - keep it up.

[Julie]

The holding back conversation is a really fascinating one for me, because I have 2 different and slightly conflicting perspectives. My oldest daughter has an August 30th birthday and was socially pretty "young" although academically she was keeping up (but due to her social holdups, wasn't keeping up on class participation and things like that). I sought advice from teachers, the school director, and the head kindergarten teacher from the public elementary school, who all independently recommended, based on both observation and testing, that she have another year of preschool before kindergarten. We were fortunate that there was a transitional kindergarten program and she entered that and has been there since Fall and it is one of the BEST things we have ever done for her.

That said ... my brother was socially young and had to retake first grade on account of that. It was brutal on his self-esteem, I don't think he's ever fully recovered, and while being a bright guy (IQ around 135) with lots of intellectual interest, he regards himself as a dummy and a failure. He never completed college, not because he didn't want to, but because he lacked confidence and was defeatist about the challenges he encountered. In the absence of something like a mixed 1st/2nd class within your daughter's school, or another school to send her to, I wouldn't hold her back, but would instead follow the other good suggestions here for really improving her social confidence and maturity over the summer, so she can absorb some of that and take it with her to school. Also, I would ask the school to make specific recommendations and work with you on supporting her. You could ask, for instance, whether they can add a classroom aide, so she can still get one-one assistance at times. Best of luck.

[BethF]

I was interested in hearing about your daughter's age too. But she is actually fairly old for her class, having a May birthday.

My question would be - what exactly are you seeing socially? Is she a loner, does she enjoy playing with other kids? Is it a case of her wanting to play on the swings each recess and all the other kids play tag? Is she super shy or self-conscious about her hearing? I wonder about the specifics of why she doesn't have friends.

Because sometimes you just get a whole class of not nice girls. My grade school classmates were great but the grade above us, the girls were just not nice. Cliques, attitudes, etc. I remember my mom saying she was so glad I was not in that class. And she was right, they were just not kind to others. But luckily, I was born the year I was and ended up in the nice class. I still am friends with several of my grade school friends.

[Cara]

(1) Try the Wrinkle in Time series on tape; I think it would be right up Patrick's alley.
(2) Is it an option to do a split day at your friend's school? My sister attended a Montessori school where Kindergarten was still half time. Her birthday was right at the cut off so, while she could academically handle first grade she really wasn't mature enough. So, they let her spend half a day in Kindergarten and half in first grade. It was a tiny, tiny school, but at that age no one seemed to care and in the years that followed no one remembered (small town, too). She didn't start off having difficulties socially, though, so that is different.

[ali]

I saw the "what are these women doing?" ad for green cleaning products at the side, and for a second, I thought they were using neti pots.
I hope I get used to these reading glasses soon...

[Madame Scyllee]

We have been using the NeilMed Sinus rinse with our four year old son for the last 2 years. He suffers from chronic sinusitis. We showed him what we were going to do by doing it on ourselves. He thought it was funny to see water shooting out our noses. He didn't really mind it and now he can even do it himself. It is a lifesaver to wash all of that gunk out when he is sick and he has been less sick as we do it on a daily basis.

[Cris]

Kate is an interesting mix (aren't all our kids?). She very enthusiastically loves other kids and can be a little overwhelming in that way. At the same time she's very stubborn about playing 'her way' and tries to be in charge of everything. She also has her feelings hurt easily and can be very dramatic.

To your comment, Beth, I've heard from others that this is a high maintenance class of kids while next year's kids are all pretty easy going. Katie tends to play better with younger kids because they let her be in charge usually. However, I'm not at all sure that is a character trait that should be encouraged. Sometimes the only way our rough edges are smoothed is by the friction we get from rubbing against other kids and their rough edges. I just hate seeing her in pain.

I don't think at this point her hearing / hearing aids are the issue. Her long hair covers the aids and the kids have seen them since last year. However, if she sees people whispering and can't hear them, she tends to assume its something bad about her. She also tends to talk over others at times.

It is such a process turning children into civilized people.

Again, thank you for all your thoughts. Getting outside my own perspective has been invaluable.

[Lauren]

Hi Cris -I'm hesitant to add more to my email, lest I appear to be coming on too strong. I apologize if I am. I think it is good to be aware that historically, children who are hard of hearing (mild to moderate hearing losses) are generally ignored as a group by educators, policymakers, researchers, etc. So, we do not have very much information on how to best serve this group in the schools. In most cases, they are assumed to develop and function similarly as typically hearing peers. Existing evidence suggests this may not be the case, but of course, that does not apply to every child who is HOH. This group is incredibly heterogeneous in age of identification, language exposure, schooling, etiology of hearing loss, etc… so it is impossible for anyone to claim that some observed phenomenon in the group will be applicable to every child within the group. In short, I am suggesting that even if the hearing loss does not seem to be a factor in her observed difficulties, I think it is good to keep the hearing loss in mind as you proceed with any educational decision.

[Kristin]

I second the James Dean comparison somebody made above: Edward definitely has the heartbreaker eyes and lips going on. =)

I think I was the one who mentioned the juxtaposition of the balance issues and the trampoline. Mind you, I didn't actually use the word "absurdity" -- I merely expressed my... how shall one say? concern? reservations? pause? ;-)

I actually did/do see the connection between the trampoline and some potentially fun activity that might not feel like therapy, and on general principles, I think that's a great way to go. I do wonder if there are other methods an OT could recommend... something that doesn't make you go "eek!" every time Patrick uses it. ;-)

Best wishes, and I hope everyone feels better. I used to mock my husband's neti pot mercilessly, until I got a horrible cold while pregnant and couldn't take sudafed. My neti pot saved my sinuses AND my sanity, and possibly our marriage.

[sara]

I just bought a neti pot-- awesome. My boyfriend remains a skeptic.

Regarding holding kids back: I have a question, too, if anyone opinionated reads this. My nine-year-old has ADHD and is finishing up 4th grade. He is probably about half a year to a year behind academically, acts about eight, but is the size of a twelve-year-old (he'll be ten next month). We're moving over the summer, and I've been thinking of enrolling him in fourth grade again in the new school district. Socially and academically, I think that's the better placement for him, but do the negatives outweigh the benefits? I think the main reason his teachers thus far haven't wanted to keep him back is because he is a handful in the classroom and they want to be rid of him.

[mesue]

Cris, in the school where I taught, each spring we would sort students for the following school year to separate problems. If there were certain children your daughter was being bullied by, please ask the teacher and/or principal to put Kate in a different class from them - and explain why. The playground problem may ease itself since I presume the second and first grade classes will be at recess at the same time, and she can play with the younger classes if she prefers them. I'm glad you're on top of this but don't push Kate too hard. mesue

[Vic]

I know you are looking for outdoor activities, but have you ever thought of karate? My 5 yr old son is in a class where there are 2 boys who do this in addition to physical therapy. (whatever it is called when they work on cross-coordination?) They love it, & so do the moms. It is key to find a fun teacher! Many classes let you try it first, plus you get a cool outfit.

[sharon]

In our house leftovers are referred to as recycled food. Not sure which term is less appealing to the palate!

[liz]

RE holding a child back.

My daughter is in a small school and there is a girl in her class who was held back last year after first grade. The school also has a primer class for kindergartners who need more academics, but are not ready for first grade (either socially or academically). It's a great option and there are several kids in the grade who were in primer or held back with no ill effects.

It is far better to be held back now, when kids don't really notice that kind of thing. No one cares right now - that won't be the same in a couple of years.

Ultimately, talk to the school.

[Pam L]

Are you still working on the video? I get "invalid password" when I try "fetch".

[Sarah]

I have known many people over the years who have held a child back, in the sense of delaying starting kindergarten, for various reasons and I have never known anyone who regretted that. But, holding back a child who has already been in kindergarten seems an entirely different situation, and I would read plenty of research and be sure I had explored all of the school system's options for students with hearing loss. I certainly think trying to find lots of social opportunities over the summer is a good idea no matter what. It's an idea I personally find exhausting, but a good one, nevertheless.

[sheilah]

I also can't see your video. And I so love watching your children. Stalker, much?

[Holly]

I think The Hobbit was wonderful on cd. It is a lengthy listen, but the narration is delightful. Not a genre I enjoy typically, but I just may pick up the book to read it now that my girls are enjoying fantasy.

[Robyn]

Oh, my - finally was able to see the video. They are SO - SO - adorable. The dynamic between them, as narrated by you, is just fantastic.

[Pam L]

It works! They are pretty amazing together.I would be filming all the time too.

Funny, in our house it was the first one that got videod all the time. Then we learned little snippets like this are much better as mot people don't find an hour of a 6 month old rolling around quite as riveting as did we.

[Laurie]

For the women debating holding her daughter back.
I would go with your gut feeling and hold her back at this early age rather then pushing her ahead to second grade where things are academically more demanding. I would also get your school involved in setting up an IEP if you haven't already done so which is if you are unfamiliar an Individual Education Plan. Your child should benefit from this due to her hearing impairment issues. This will get her seating at the head of the class so that she can hear the teacher better and "see" the teacher better. This will also get her other services that she might need like speech therapy, one on one with a teachers aide etc. If she is having trouble socializing look to see if your school has something in place where she can work with a group of her peers on socializing. She doesn't have to be diagnosed on the Autism spectrum to benefit from this just be recognized as needing a bit of extra help in this area.

[elza murphy]

cornelia funke's Dragon Rider, read by Brendan Fraser--an absolutely AMAZING performance, great story and nice and loooooooooooooooooong. He will love it.

--eliza, school librarian & mom to audiobook freak.

[Anna]

I just learned about this weird snotsucker thing... might be worth trying? http://www.nosefrida.com/

[Patricia]

About your friend-
You don't say how she has addressed the hearing loss issue. That could be the crux to solving both academic and social issues. Would she benefit from hearing aids? Now they are so small and discrete, you hardly notice them and it may really benefit her. I just came back from a baseball game for my son. At the end of the game I realized that one of the kids had a cochlear implant - he played great and I had no idea he even had it because it was covered by his cap and helmet. Even a mild to moderate hearing loss can make it difficult to succeed in a noisy school environment, so I'd strongly encourage your friend to make sure that issue is addressed first.

[sarah]

for your friend who has asked the question about her daughter...

my son is also in first grade. he was experiencing the same issues with playground friends, not feeling like he fit in, and some bullying.

a lot of his issues were stemming from some academic issues he was having that were making it difficult for him to feel 'as good as' the other kids. his issues led to very poor self esteem. once we addressed those areas, his self esteem climbed and the friends seemed to come MUCH easier.

so my question to you about her hearing loss... have you sought treatment/aids to help her and make her feel she fits in more? feeling stupid or different is hard on a little one. her self esteem, as we've learned with ours, is paramount to making friends. we also asked his teacher to try and pair him up with a like-minded child in class to facilitate a relationship, and that didn't really help, but might be helpful to you.

the decision to hold a child back is a hard one. i would say that the social implications of doing that are only going to exacerbate the friend issues especially if it's a small school. i don't know from experience, so others might have better information for you in that area, but that is what i would initially feel as her parent... that it was a bad idea.

best of luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Heidi]

I'm way late on the trampoline topic. (I'm kidless, so I may see this from a different poing of view.) I think a trampoline would be fantastic for everyone - I think the hardest I ever laughed was when I was jumping on one! The neighbor kids jump on theirs A LOT - it hasn't lost its appeal after several seasons. They're safe (or safer, at least?) with the protective netting, their mom knows exactly where they are, and they get fantastic physical activity in, which MUST help them to sleep deeply.

And Yay! for the neti pot. They're amazing.

[winecat]

A number of things: first you can get squeeze bottles that do the same thing as the neti pot. They're made by Neilmed and I've been using them for years. Recently I discovered that Costco carries a set of 2 along with a number of the alkaline packets. That might be easier for the Twinkles.

Second: trampoline yes. I had the same idea that you did, that it would help Patrick get his top half and bottom half in sync.

Third: Lol Edward to Caroline "how did you do that?" I see that Caroline still enjoys reading from her perch on the bookcase.

[KP]

I am also echoing the sentiment for equines! Riding helps develop muscles, and bonding with an animal that you need to respect as both a pet and a working partner is a very special, unique experience for a child to have.

If you've considered any animals for your farm yet (or indeed at all), I highly suggest that for family-friendliness and all-out lovability, you cannot beat a donkey for children- especially one that is trained to ride. They tend to be much gentler and sweeter with kids than any pony I have ever met, and they truly love human attention and just being with you.

Also, they have the added bonus of being much easier on the wallet than your typical horse. If you keep their hooves trimmed properly and manage their diet to keep them from reaching the size of a baby hippopotamus, they'll keep your kids and THEIR kids company- they have been known to live for up to 40 years.