Straightened Arrow

The other week I spent half the afternoon googling "ring worm" as I worried about a mysterious, circular red mark on Edward's upper thigh.

I eventually consulted Steve who promptly said, "Teeth marks. Human. Female. Aged... I'd say about two years. From the lack of wear on the bicuspids I would guess she is usually an oatmeal eater; so we can assume she was driven to this attack by either extreme hunger or - more likely - rage."

Then he wandered back into his office to take some more morphine.

I don't want to say that Caroline is a serial biter because she's not. Days or weeks can go by without Edward once shrieking "No biting Cayine! Stop it! Aaiiiiiieeee!" before racing toward me cradling his endented hand. However, she's not not a biter either. I guess I'd put her somewhere between a squirrel and a frog but we do strive towards a daily puncture wound tally of zero so we have been trying to eradicate the biting all together. 

[Not that Edward is a blameless victim. He generally has deserved something (a cut direct, a withering glance) and there is a reason why we call him Slappy Kincaid. So our children are thugs with the exception of Patrick who continues to find good in the most unlikely places and who triumphantly announces that he has dealt with a dessert stealing classmate by wedging himself between two non-dessert stealers at lunch. Uh, good work? Blessed are the peacemakers, I suppose.]

Anyway as part of the campaign to keep Caroline on the path of the righteous I checked a book out of the library called "Teeth are not for Biting" which features angry children paired with stricken looking ones and the line "Ouch! Biting hurts" oft repeated. Edward loves this book.

"Outh!" he shouts* as I read, "Biting hurth!"

Then we both look pointedly at Caroline who thinks this is the stupidest book ever written and says, hopefully, "Read 'Oh the Places You'll Go' again?"

As a complete aside when we read "Oh the Places You'll Go" Caroline points to one of the black lumps with the eyes on whatever page that is and says, "Ed-wad fell down that dark spooky hole. Oh no Ed-wad is trapped in a cage!" and Edward, sitting on the other side of my lap, always looks very concerned to hear this. Years from now Edward will be able to tell some sympathetic young woman all about the physical and emotional abuse he suffered at the hands of his twin and she will look at barrel-chested Edward and pixie-feather Caroline and think mean things about his mother who allowed this to continue.

But the point is that we are anti-biting. So I glanced into the play room this morning just as Caroline grabbed Edward's face and pushed him backwards. He landed on his bottom and said, "Hey! Thath not nith."

"Caroline!" I said.

She put her hands up, like, don't shoot and pointed out, "I no bite him!"

Which left me in the complicated position of trying to figure out how to praise the dental self-control while condemning the ol' palm-n-shove. I think she has a jurisprudential mind.

*And Edward, in case you couldn't tell, has developed the most delightful Barcelona lisp and I love it.

+

Scene I. Hallway at school. Enter Friend and Patrick.

Friend: Hey Patrick! I almost forgot I was wearing this shirt today.

Patrick: I almost forgot I was wearing my BUTT today.

Friend: And I almost forgot I was wearing my BUTT CRACK today.

Patrick: Weiner!

Friend: Pickle! Hairy pickle!

Patrick: Indeed! Ha ha ha!

Friend: HA HA HA!

Friend slings arm around Patrick's shoulders and they walk off to class together.

It was all so normal and boyish and stupid that I felt a little misty. Also, very glad I'm a female.

I picked Patrick up the other day and while I was standing there his teacher told me they had done their standardized testing for literacy and Patrick had done well: x up from y or whatever. And I said oh that's nice.

And then he said, oh hey, does Patrick do the reading thing at home?

And I misunderstood and said, yeah, sure he reads at home.

And he said, no, the thing where he reads upside down?

So I said huh?

And he said, "Patrick's problem is that he reads too fast and then he misses stuff. When they read aloud the other kids are always, like, Patrick SLOW DOWN because no one can understand him. So I have been trying to get him to figure out how to slow himself down and the other day he flipped the book upside down and read it that way. His comprehension seems to be better and he's much easier to understand when he reads aloud. Of course he can't do that with a computer screen but for the MAP test today he twisted his head sideways."

I said well that's... "interesting" at the same time the teacher finished the sentence with "weird" and we laughed and he said all that matters is that it works for him and then I got Patrick and we left. 

Practical encouragement toward creative problem solving coupled with total acceptance of differences = why I love this class so much.  

+

There is nothing particularly memorable about this photograph (I mean, you can get a good idea of their relative sizes and you can see the back of Caroline's bob which I adore but which is already growing out because Steve's gypsy blood converts Cheerios into keratin at previously unrecorded speeds) except it is the last known sighting of Little Red Car. See it in Edward's hand there? Yeah well it's missing and it's been missing for over a week and OH MY GOD HAVE YOU SEEN THIS CAR PLEASE?

Every. Single. Day. Edward wakes up and says, "Find little red car?"

Every night before bed he cries, "LITTLE RED CAR!!!!" up and down a hellish scale. It's become a euphemism for general peevishness. Edward will realize that he is not as happy as he might possibly be at a given moment so he opens his mouth and says, "Little red car!"

Caroline walks around the house saying, "Little red caaaar where are youuuuuuu?"

I offered Patrick an insanely generous bounty for it but he has yet to locate it. It's driving me a little crazy. I don't think it left the house. I hope (although I fear this might be the case) that no one tossed it into the trash. Steve said last night that it is probably behind a piece of furniture or in a bin or something and we'll find it when we are old and moving into a home. So I congratulated him on being simultaneously useless and horribly depressing and continued to look under the stove with a flashlight.

For reference I have no idea where this car came from and no way to track down another. It looks like a birthday party goody bag item, frankly, and why Edward chose this among all God's vehicles with which to form a forever bond I have no idea but there it is. Edward has loved and lost and he is now driving the family mad with his grief. It's like Hamlet around here.

On the topic of children and their odd attachments Caroline has developed a passion for a little yellow towel/ cleaning rag from Sam's Club that she calls Towelie.

"Oh TOWELIE," she breathes, "I'm so proud of you!" or "Towelie? Do you want to take a little swim?" she asks lovingly before dropping it in the tub.

I'm just glad I have a box of the damned things although Steve keeps muttering something about South Park (me, I don't do South Park) and my mother wondered if I have differentiated her collection of Towelies from the ones we use to scrub the stove. Oh, I said. Huh.

+

Finally please help me. Caroline has turned Houdini nudist and I am losing my mind. I had to put her clothes and diaper back on her THREE TIMES yesterday in the time it took me to find and put on Edward's shoes. Clearly she thinks it is funny and that she is very clever and yes yes fine but it is forty degrees here and she has yet to ever successfully use the potty at all. Ever. In fact just yesterday she sat for almost an hour while I read stories then she stood up and walked a few steps and peed on the rug. I think she wants to do it but she cannot quite figure out the mechanics of it and I have no idea how to teach her. I have read a few guides and websites and an e-book that Carla was nice enough to send me a million years ago when I first started talking about it but they all seem to center around a notion that the kid might get it right every once in a while and then you, like, build on that success. Meanwhile she is turning blue and leaving puddles like a spaniel and don't even get me started on the great nap and bedtime strip routines which involve my least favorite thing in the entire world (changing crib sheets) and soggy stuffed animals who get carried off the battlefield to the accompaniment of keening as they head off to the laundry.

I have had some limited success with safety pins and duct tape. Two feet of duct tape wrapped all the way around the waist of her diaper seems to (usually) keep it in place. A jumbo sleep suit turned backwards with the zipper safety pinned in place also helps overnight but I freely admit that these are not great solutions. We are, I hope, a tolerant and broad-minded family and if Caroline prefers to run around in the buff all the time I am fine with that provided a) it is warm enough and b) it does not add significantly to the amount of upholstery cleaning I have to do on a given day.

I'll take any advice you have to offer from patented diaper cinching methods to behavior modification techniques. My asking her (nicely/firmly/frantically) to keep her clothes on or use the potty does not seem to be working and I'm fresh out of ideas.   

PS You know what's funny is that I can remember agonizing over Patrick and potty training and it was this complete ordeal but it eventually worked itself out and even while I know this logically I cannot feel anything other than hopeless as Caroline races by like a naked pink elf for the millionth time. She's never going to use the bathroom and she's never going to wear clothes again. I just know it.

Comments

[QoB]

Julia, I am so happy you're back. That is all.

[MamaBirdNYC]

I got nothing good in the way of advice, just wanted to say, you cheer me up. I was having a crappy day, but then, five solid minutes of giggles really helped me out. Thanks.

[Katie]

It looks like a little red plan toys car.
http://www.tendercargo.com/catalog/Plan-Toys-Cars-II.html
I had vowed to stop commenting but I can't stand the thought of Edward pining for his little red car. Love that boy. Also Patrick's conversation with his buddy.

[TeacherMommy]

I hear that some official duct tape company routinely provides scholarships for students who create amazing prom outfits out of duct tape, so I'm wondering if perhaps you could get sponsoring from them if you create an entire wardrobe for Caroline out of it as well. It wouldn't even have to be all goth and/or emo, since apparently duct tape comes in all sorts of cheerful colors these days. I can only assume the ducts it tapes also come in (matching) cheerful colors, as I believe the coloring is supposed to create blending, but then I haven't been keeping up with the fashion advances in the plumbing arena lately. I find it entirely believable that housing hardware haute couture has also been taken over by the ever marvelous Tim Gunn, who Knows All.

[Heather]

"I no bite him!"
Baaahaahaa!

The way you tell your stories is high-larious!

[Jan]

I remember things back pretty far, and I remember not yet being able to control my bowels around two -- one time in particular, I couldn't even feel the contractions -- it just slipped out (behind the bathroom door). I assume the same holds for urination and that eventually she will be able to coordinate sensations and control the muscles. I don't know if things like rubbing her lower back (for #2) are advisable. Must be frustrating, but as they say, no one ever finds dead cats up in trees. It wouldn't have worked for me, but I read now and then of "Elmo" or "Dora" or however themed potties being incentives. A Cat in the Hat decal for Caroline's? Does she have something to drink while sitting on the pottie?

[wombat]

At least for the diaper, you could try putting on a thin cloth diaper cover over her disposable diaper. The ones with velcro fixtures can sometimes have really broad, strong strips of velcro that require adult strength to unfasten. My Bummis super whisper wraps aren't undo-able by my wiley toddler, and I know that others sell even better-fortified covers. They're less than $15 at my local cloth diaper store. This doesn't solve the cold problem, but might help the puddle problem. You wouldn't even have to wash it hardly.

[Elizabeth]

Okay, so this might sound a little harsh, but... maybe have Caroline help you clean up? Like, pull up the corners of the sheet in the crib and get paper towels and wash the floor? Not as punishment, but as a consequence kind of thing. Of course if she loves to clean and wipe it might not help!

[Elena]

The other day I was telling my 18-year-old daughter about how when she was about a year old she was constantly undressing with great glee and she wore strictly overalls for a while. She was quite a bit younger than Caroline so maybe Caroline has already mastered getting out of overalls, but its all I got. :-)

[jen]

I think your Caroline and my Carter must be members of the same Toddlers for Nudity club. Seriously, it is an ORDEAL to get him to put on clothes to leave to go to the PARK. I've tried bribery for m&ms, TV, etc. to no avail. Um, so I am sorry I can't help. I have no advice and if you find a solution, please post it. Please.

I do make him help clean up but unfortunately he loves to help and do favors so that doesn't help much for us. But it might for you. Maybe I should start asking him to go to the potty as a favor to me. Oh one thing that has worked with mild success is actually going to get the treat while he sits. I mean you would think we've scammed him out of his due m&ms before, which we have not, but seeing the reward instantly seems to help.

[Michelle]

We got our little nudist a couple pairs of these Mookimoos and we love them. Cozy AND secure.

http://www.mookimoo.com/

As for potty training? I got nothing. I am fairly certain I am the World's Worse Potty Trainer. Perhaps I should write a book of what NOT to do.

[CA]

My thoughts: don't make a deal out of it AT ALL because maybe attention about it encourages her to continue; don't worry about her being cold, I suspect if she's cold enough she'll get a blanket or put clothes on; put potties in every room you're hanging out it in and enlist her help in clean up until the accidents stop. Do you think after like 3 straight days of totally accepted, constant nudity and helping mom clean up pee 20 times she might either be toilet trained or just want to keep her clothes on??? I need you to run the experiment! I'm dying of curiosity!!

[Lisa]

Maybe with Caroline you could try a small little bowl of warm water as she sits on the potty. Put one or both feet in, out comes the pee. Then at least she has the sensation and you can then praise the accomplishment. I did this with 4 of my 5 kids for the beginning stages of potty training, when the body and the mind just can't get that first pee out into the potty. For a while, my boys would ask for warm water for a few times, but eventually, they made the connection. Good luck. Every child I have felt that same fear...I kept telling myself that they won't go to college in diapers...or probably even Kindergarten!

I sure hope you find the little red car!

And Patrick and friend...too funny!

[Shawna]

"As they say, no one ever finds dead cats up in trees." Really? Who are "they"? I've never heard that before in my life!

Is it a regional saying? And what does it mean? That dead cats can't climb trees? Or that cats don't really get stuck in trees and can always get down? Or that cats stuck in trees will eventually die and fall out of the trees? Sorry if this line of questioning is gruesome, but my curiosity has been piqued.

As for the nudist/pottie training thing... Both my kids are proving easier to train for poop than pee, but maybe since sometimes pee happens along with the poop that'd at least trigger the association of pee+poop=potty if you concentrated on that? My daughter confined her pre-potty-trained love of nudity to the back yard in the summer, so we didn't have to worry a lot about the peeing in the house.

[shriek house]

Car: check all pockets in dirty laundry.

The thing I love most about Patrick & friend's exchange? "Indeed!" INDEED. Ha!

[Kathleen]

Buy a new red car for the boy! He'll know it's not "the" red car (unless that link is to it's twin, I hope!)but he might accept it. "Old red car is bye-bye now and we are sad about that...but here is Bright, Shiny, New Red Car!" Can't hurt, might help.

I'm with CA. She's figured out that sitting on the potty is a great way to get Mom's attention, same with going nude. Either turn up the heat a bit or just remind yourself that she's not getting frotsbite.

Whether she's ready to potty train or not I have no idea (althought it doesn't sound like it from here) but it's become a seperate issue. Ignore it (so easy for a mother of an 18 year old to say!) Enlist her help in cleaing up pee. Make a bucket with a rag (not Towelie! Ha!) and a spray bottle of water. Show her how to do it.

Whatever solution works today is a great solution (backward pjs, tape, whatever.)

Now I'll pass on the single best piece of mothering advice I've ever recieved. My grandmother potty trained her ten kids. Her collective wisdom on the process?

"Think good thoughts, Dear."

Indeed!

[HereWeGoAJen]

I second the cloth diaper over the regular diaper idea. I just got a Flip diaper (http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?products_id=2157) and my daughter cannot unsnap it herself. (She's younger though, 17 months.) With the Flip, you'd just have to use the cover and it wouldn't add any bulk.

[Amy Becker]

Hey, Julia. You ROCK.

I would follow Caroline's lead on the potty training. She won't go to college in diapers. There's no rush. Oh, yeah, you DO have a waterproof matress pad on that crib, right? Set up a second set of sheets underneath it so all you have to do is take off the first set and Bob's your uncle.

RE: nudity, she will be so fun at parties!

Have Steve show you the Towlie episode. It is SO worth it. My hubby and I still laugh about that one. Seriously. Do. It.

Smooch,
-Amy

[Jan]

Shawna,
"...dead cats in trees" may be a Pennsylvania regional expression. It means that cats eventually figure out how to get down trees, rescues by firemen not withstanding, but now that I actually think this through (LOL thank you!), the odd cat that couldn't in fact get down would be a dead cat on the ground!

[Susan]

Would Caroline go for big girl underpants? The really absorbent training kind? They helped a bit when we were in transition and if they have some appealing picture on them maybe she will want to wear them. They don't contain all the pee, but they're a step in the right direction.

[quirkfarms]

I remember some lovely neighbor saying to me "you've missed the time for potty training" when my daughter was all of 18 mos. my reply "do you know anyone who still wets their pants?" nuff said. keep up the good work and the funny funny stories.

[Christa]

As for peeing in the potty...follow her around with a glass of juice, get her on the kid potty while you sit on the big one and you pee while she does. Both of my kids were encouraged by the sound of someone else peeing and in a pinch some running water.

As for the serial stripping...I have one of those too, but luckily I live in Arizona, so its not a biggie until I actually want to leave the house and he's undressed himself once again. But I think you should stick with the duct tape on the diaper to avoid the messes and maybe let her figure out that she's cold when she's naked on her own. Just a suggestion...the kind I don't have to follow myself, since I live in a place only slightly cooler than the surface of the sun.

Good luck.

Now how about potty training my almost 3 year old son, who, when allowed to run around the house naked will pretty reliably pee and even poop in the potty, but for whom underwear is like wearing white after Labor Day is for my Mom--not gonna happen. Underwear with characters, ones that match his older brothers, doesn't matter. He wants none of it, struggles and fights and asks (pleads) for a diaper! I don't get it.

[Chris]

You make me feel better about myself - and living with 3 year old twins - and the audacity of how insignificant oil spills and tornadoes and volcanoes are when a car goes missing. My husband found "medium" Strawberry Shortcake behind our bed last night. HALLELUJAH!

[Erika]

My daughter was four when she finally started reliably peeing in the toilet. Thank goodness she was never a bed-wetter, though...

[babelbabe]

ohmigod, you make me howl with laughter. I, too, have a stripper/biter but also have no real solution. Most days I just cower in the corner and pray to survive till he's like ten. if i'm lucky.

[bethany actually]

When Annalie was in the stripping stage, I'd put her to bed in footie pajamas, turned inside-out and backwards, so she couldn't reach the zipper. That's...pretty much the end of my advice, I'm afraid. Good luck!

[melissa]

Onsies do it for us to keep the diapers on (and hands out of her diapers) -- we're using them in size 3T now (hard to find, check amazon or ebay) and Lucy doesn't know how to get them unsnapped on her own. She wears them under all her clothes.

[Emily Faulkner]

My only advice on the potty training is to just stop. Leave the whole issue alone until Caroline initiates it and is ready to actually DO it. She's still young - don't force it. It will only make it harder on you to try and force something she's not ready to do.
As for keeping her clothed - I have no idea. Toddlers can be so exhausting. We do the backwards sleep sack thing for my son and that seems to work. Except for the time the zipper was split and I didn't realize it until his entire crib was smeared in poop. So double check the zipper. At least summer is coming :)
Good luck, and I hope you find Little Red Car!

[G]

My younger has been toileting for over two years and she still makes me read her "Once upon a potty" at least three times a week. She thinks it's the funniest book ever. My older used to sing the song while watching the DVD (while on the potty)for 20 minutes at a time, the younger was deprived because we were too tired for that sort of indulgence:), but my older would sing the song to her and read along with the book. Have you tried it?

[Pam L]

As I stated a few times before my boys were both 3+1/2 before they were potty trained. My favorite pediatrician promised me they would not go to kindergarten in diapers ,though little did that calm me at the time. They did not ,however leave puddles around the house for me to find. Unfortunately I don't have any advice for one so clever and slippery as Caroline. But it will all end some day.\\I wish I had my own Sherlock like you.

[Anne]

Have you asked Patrick for his advice? He might have good suggestions. I'm guessing that any he has will be different from what grownups usually offer. And, no matter how offbeat, might actually be more relevant?

[Jennifer]

Ugh, I am so with you on both the nudity and the potty training! I swear, my Anna and your Caroline are cut from the same cloth!! :) What has worked with the diaper, at least at naptimes and bedtime, is putting it on backwards. Anna hasn't figured out how to get to the tabs that way yet, but I suspect it's only a matter of time. (And Caroline might already have mastered that with her eyes closed--she's a wily one, that one...) I've also layered a pullup over a regular diaper on backwards, and we've used the onesies trick too. (Old Navy has 2T/3T onesies, btw.) During the rest of the day I have found she takes off her diaper when it's wet and uncomfortable, so if I stay on top of changing her, it does help with Anna taking it off herself. And yes, we have had the puddle cleanups too, along with a couple of less liquid cleanups. (Ick.)

Anna's big thing with clothing is that she wants to do it herself, so if I put clothes on her she will usually take them off. I have better success if she picks out the clothes and puts them on herself, even though it's like watching paint dry and takes half the day for her to actually do it--which totally challenges my slightly control-freak nature. I just let her go for it and take deep breaths! ;)

That's all I've got...

[Carrie]

Oh how I remember those nudist days. Well, I still have those nudist days. My four year old rarely has clothes on, but he is potty trained now. Anyway, we had to move him into pull-ups just to stop him from ripping the diapers off. I would dress him in rompers and he couldn't get those off either, though it sounds like Caroline might be a little more determined than him. Maybe move into cloth training pants with the snaps? Those are hard to take off.

[Lisa]

No advice on potty training, I'm afraid. But I could use some help on how to get my 5yo boy to stay dry more than once a week. He is so going to college in pull-ups. I feel your pain.

And also? Patrick is a gem. In case you didn't know. ;)

[Lisa]

At night... I meant he can't stay dry through the night.

Sigh.

[Anna]

A lot of people say to flood them with drinks to get them to potty train but that stopped making sense to me. I have 3 under 3 and so I started trying to pay attention to their cycles. Pee after breakfast, pee before and after naps, pee before bed, etc. I was frustrating myself because I felt like we were always on the damn toilet but we were just on it at the wrong times. I thought they would need to pee more often...pooping is more complicated but again trying to keep regular helps.
I have one child with mild cerebral palsy who shows no interest in potty training and I'm not sure she has the muscle control...anyone else dealt with this?
Good luck!

[Debi]

Try safety pinning her tops to her bottoms. That is, unless she can get the safety pins undone! Sadly, my advice on potty training is wait until they basically train themselves - worked for my son.

[Elizabeth]

My son was VERY interested in using the potty when he was two, but he couldn't quite get it coordinated. I ended up putting him in a cloth diaper with no cover on it while we were at home. That way he could feel and see it happening. It doesn't completely solve the mess but it does help. He very quickly learned to run to the potty. He also helped clean up puddles(not as a punisment, of course). We didn't use any rewards because we figured not sitting in your pee should be reward enough! We also never used pullups during the day, but there were three public pee incidents which might not be your thing(only one was noticable to anyone else). Of course we DID use pull ups at night and three years later he is still using them... I feel your pain Lisa.

[Carla Hinkle]

From what I remember of that ebook, it was a very Yoda-esque approach to potty training. There is no "try," only "do" or "do not." It seems what you've got going on now is a "try" and it isn't really working for either you or Caroline.

Anyway, I think the fact that she can hold it for an hour on the toilet and then go pee on the rug means she IS ready, if YOU want to be. But it would entail a potty-training boot camp, of sorts, whereby you let her run naked or with just undies for 3+ days and after umpteen accidents and umpteen rushes to the potty, with only a smile plastered on your face, she will, in fact, get it. I promise. I have done this twice with 2 girls, both 25 months, who had no previous potty experience and it really did work.

BUT I don't think it does anyone any favors (you or her) to sorta-kinda-potty train but still use diapers. Frustrating for both of you. So my only advice is either decide you're ready and ditch the diapers or just put them back on (DUCT TAPING diapers, ha ha ha ha ha ha I cannot stop laughing at THAT image) and forget about it for a while. Either is fine and will be fine and it is just up to you.

[Heidi]

Gotta love Steve's dry sense of humor...

[Another Joan]

For Lisa: have a chat with your pediatrician - bedwetting is different from toilet training and it isn't about the "small bladder" malarkey most people bandy about. It may be genetic (more often boys and how did Dad/Uncles do?) or sleep related (our son slept like a rock). We finally ended up with a short course of meds when he was about 11 and never looked back.

[Courtney]

I was going to recommend a Flip cover as well. They snap, and are adjustable in size. Also easier for you to take off than duct tape, I would imagine. You could also use cloth - I've heard that can help them train easier because they can feel the wetness more - but that's a whole other issue. I've also heard good things about the Bjorn potty: http://www.amazon.com/BabyBj%C3%B6rn-055105US-BABYBJ%C3%96RN-Potty-Chair/dp/B000056J7K.

[Dawn]

This post made me laugh right out loud twice:

"I no bite him!"

and

It's like Hamlet around here.

Regarding the pink elf with Spaniel characteristics, have you tried keeping the potty in whatever room you're in so she doesn't have to travel much to get to it?

[nini]

Potty training my daughter was a nightmare, but as you say, I just remember vague misery and it did work itself out. We had to abandon the efforts that I started at age 2-2 1/2, because nothing was working. My girlfriend said 3 is the age it clicks and that's exactly when the magic happened. I also let it be her idea, stopped the exaggerated praise, and did not react to accidents. Abandoning efforts for a while was a good thing for all involved, because she wasn't ready. Caroline might not be ready, or she may be very strong willed and want to do it on her terms. There's a whole subconscious psychology about them holding on to their babyhood and controlling something, anything in their world. Something like that. It made sense at the time.

[lb]

OK, you know what I did in order to get some successes to build on with the potty training? I started rewarding dry underwear time. So I would put a pair of (quilted) underpants on her, and then check them in 5 minutes to see if they were dry and if they were? YAY! Celebrate! Sticker! Dance! I did this for short periods every day and it seemed to help her get used to the feeling of being dry and the feeling of not just peeing whenever you want to. I think those are separate skills: peeing when you want to, and NOT peeing when you DON'T want to.

It might give Caroline something to do with her nudist impulses. So when she's taking her clothes off, you could try seeing that as a signal that she wants to have some underwear time. It doesn't mean she has to then wear it all day. She might find that she's happy to go back to her diaper after half an hour or so, but I bet she would learn something from the process. At least it might divert her.

Do note that they won't always be dry. It is amazing how often they will pee in the undies almost as soon as they get them on (at least my 3 did). Much more often than they would pee in the potty if you'd sat them on it at the same time! But it's all about learning. You don't learn without mistakes.

[Rosie_Kate]

Your posts along make me wish I had twins cookin' right now (pretty sure there's only one in there...).

For the stripping: I think you have to outwit her and find some way to make HER want to either use the potty, or keep her clothes on. Not sure what would work with her, but I used "baby for a day" with my son when he was two. Granted, he had already proved that he could go potty, he just didn't want to any more. After much upholstery-cleaning and puddle-wiping, I put a diaper on him and told him that only babies wear diapers. I proceeded to take away all the big boy things-- leaving him with nothing to do an no special privileges (and two naps, since that's what babies do). After that one day, he never had another accident.

So, I dunno... only babies, um, take their clothes off? Or not, but surely, she can be outsmarted at her own game...

[Erin]

My trick for potty training my oldest was a timer set for 5 minutes while she was on the potty. If tinkle landed in there YAY, if not reset the timer for 15 minutes and try again. While she was sitting on the potty, she got to have some lotion to rub into her hands. It took roughly the whole five minutes and she ONLY ever got the lotion when sitting on the potty (and willingly doing so). If she had success, she received some M&Ms. It worked pretty well, but my daughter also up and announced one night that she didn't want to wear diapers any more, so that could have contributed significantly to it. Good luck!!!

[Nikki]

I just love your writing. I have been laughing so hard that I'm crying and nearly peed my pants. Nearly. I love how you relate these stories. Thank you for sharing these bits of your life.

I have nothing of use to say on the nudity or potty training front. Except maybe put Caroline in undies and let her run around. She wets herself, gets uncomfortable, and goes potty? Totally guessing here.

[Lylah]

All I can offer is in for helping with your least favorite thing in the entire world (changing crib sheets):

Make Bed Lasagne

Waterproof layer. Regular crib sheet. Waterproof layer. Regular crib sheet. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

This has worked for me through five kids.

[shana]

oh goodness, your kids crack me up. INDEED!