Fish Are Jumping

Patrick is now eight, a fact that we celebrated by buying him a metal detector and making him a cake that he accurately but perversely declared to be "too sweet." I guess turning eight means that one now scrapes the frosting off although I always thought that was more like eighty. Steve suggested that maybe next time I could use less than a pound of confectioners sugar and I told Steve not to be an ass. Personally I loved it. Caroline was also a fan

but Caroline might be one of those people that do better when they limit their sugar intake

It is never dignified to be dragged away from cake by your ankles.

Edward - just off camera to the right - sat with his hands folded, patiently waiting for Caroline to stop acting the Fool so he could get something to eat. Edward is the only one of our children who consistently devours anything he is offered - he'd never say frosting was too sweet and the way he tackled a smoked salmon and caper pasta the other day brought tears to my eyes - he is such a comfort to me and I am telling you right now that I know which child is coming with me when I become an edibi-tourist. Loved your food memories by the way.    

So Patrick. Eight years old. What is there to say about Patrick? I just typed "he's a gift" three times and then erased it - all embarrassed because what a cliche - but... most of the time Patrick feels like a present. He is funny and loving and off-beat.  He doesn't have a mean bone in his body. When I asked who from his class he wanted to invite to his birthday party he was sincerely taken aback that I would even ask. He said, "Everybody, of course, or someone might feel left out."

He is occasionally thoughtless and often tactless and he never listens the first four times I tell him to do something and he has an irritating habit of saying "Yes master" on the fifth and he completely melts down when he is frustrated with himself (let us never forget that Steve once punched a hole in the wall after stubbing his toe - Patrick comes honestly by his self-control or lack thereof) but in the general scheme of things he is a Very Good Kid.

He is also such a good big brother. While we traveled he made my hovering paranoia about Caroline and Edward look like the neglectful disinterest a pirate captain might show his replaceable crew. He wouldn't just hold one of Caroline's hands as they walked he insisted on holding both, and he once tackled Edward into the grass when he thought a bicycle was about to run him over... from ten feet away. He worries about them and he plays with them and he is very very patient. Yesterday we broke out the kiddie pool and Patrick entertained the twins for an hour with the hose.

I

I told him afterward how much I appreciated his help and he said, "Oh yeah I almost forgot. You owe me twenty dollars for being nice to them."

I declined to pay although I noticed with great amusement that the name of his new company (he invoiced me) is "Infinity Co" and its motto is "It's too high to be a number!"

Patrick got sick for his birthday on Friday - which sucks - and then a major storm blew in (oh? you got that one too?) about five minutes after I took the birthday cake pictures and we were without power for two days. Being without electricity is annoying. Being without electricity when you have a birthday kid who is too sick to do anything but watch the unavailable Science channel is really annoying. Being without electricity when you have a kid who is sick and two filthy toddlers and you need electricity in order for the well pump to work, thus leaving you without electricity or water? Faugh. Beyond annoying. I finally got so desperate to at least rinse the cake dishes two days later that I carried up water from the hot water heater in the basement and setup a bucket sink. My mom suggested we go to a hotel but it just seemed too decadent. There must be a bit of early Christian martyr in me because being hot and dirty and bored and irritated beyond belief by all three children made me feel so virtuous and if there is anything nicer than finally washing your hair after being reduced to Handi-wipe sponge baths I don't want to know about it.

Speaking of my hair the most bizarre thing has happened. I wish I had a picture....

(why is this the only picture of me out of the 5000000 that were taken on vacation? are Steve's fingers broken?)

You cannot really tell from this photo beyond the frizzy halo but my hair has gone crazy. After having it below my shoulders for at least five years I got it cut to my chin a few weeks ago. This is not unprecedented. I have had shorter hair before. But for some reason in the interim my hair has gone from wavy to riotous curls that no amount of styling product can contain - even when I am not standing in front of a giant humidifier like Niagara Falls. My hair is now HUGE. Steve keeps poking at it and Patrick asked if I had gotten this hair cut on purpose. NO, I thought, I did not. Does hair actually change as you get older? And, more importantly, does the Brazilian keratin hair straightening about which my stylist pointedly gave me a brochure actually work? Please advise as I would be willing to adjust our austerity budget as needed if I can take the Bozo volume down to eleven.

What else?

Caroline is officially sleeping in her big girl bed which means I have to crawl around her room in the dark before I go to bed to find out where on the floor she has fallen asleep so I can transfer her back to her pillow.

It also means that her room constantly looks like a frat party just ended there so I am putting my plans to go nuts decorating a girly girl bedroom for her on hold. Meanwhile  Edward has noticed that Caroline is no longer sleeping in a crib and although he has resisted all mention of a bed of his own I have noticed his conversation has become punctuated with requests to do various things "like a big boy."

With Edward's deep and raspy and yet still pipsqueaky voice the addition of "like a big boy" slays me.

"Climb on the table like a big boy?" he says, all Lauren Bacall meets Elmo.

He realized half-way down the path to see Niagara Falls that if he bends at the waist and puts his hands down he can stop the stroller. This got old very very quickly. Caroline intervened

I found the fact that she kept hauling him back up strangely endearing. Most of the time they ignore each other. In fact when Emma at Tyler Place said she always finds twins easier because they entertain each other I opened my mouth to point out that Caroline and Edward are more like distant acquaintances than warm friends but having spent the previous ten minutes explaining the various safety pin systems we use to keep Caroline from falling out of a window naked I let it pass. 

I wouldn't say that Caroline's unwillingness to let Edward bang his nice round head against the ground is exactly the same as a special twin language that only they speak but it did indicate some kind of affection and without any previous indications of the kind I was touched. 

Where was I? Oh thwarted HGTV ambitions.

So I have been meaning to do... something... with both Caroline's and Edward's room for two years. Not knowing what we were having and being restricted to the couch for three months (god I miss bed rest) limited the decorating I did on the rooms for the babies formerly known as the 13s a and b to having Steve paint the walls a creamy yellow and asking Patrick to pick out some appropriate wall clings. He picked the alphabet (surprise!) and that's it in there. Our plan is to one day move Edward into the guest bedroom (it has a closet. his room does not) and punch a dormer into Edward's current room so that we can add both a closet and a small guest bathroom to that space. I asked Steve whether he could do this himself in his spare time and he said, "What? Can I easily change the roof line and put a waste pipe through the ceiling of our bedroom closet? No."

So I asked whether a contractor would charge more than one hundred dollars to do it for us and Steve said, "Yes."

So... so much for that idea.         

My point is that I hate their rooms but since Caroline keeps trashing the place and Edward's lease as a long-term squatter has been extended it doesn't seem to matter all that much. Still I have been trying to figure out what I can do to make their rooms more... oh, CUTE I guess... without spending, uh, almost anything. I'm open to suggestions.

We're off to Ohio for the fourth (so successful was our road warrioring that we have decided to drive back to Cleveland for a family reunion of sorts) but when we return I realized that we have nothing - literally nothing - planned for the rest of the summer. No camp, no trips, nothing. What do you do with your kids in the summer? I can foresee a time when the sprinkler fails to thrill.

Comments

[jen]

Buy an old picture in a thrift store, one with a cool old frame. A large picture is best. Take out the picture, and fix the frame to the wall. Paint inside with blackboard paint. Hand the Twinkles some chalk. Win!

[LIsa S.]

This is so funny because and I exchanged emails with our hair woes about a year ago. I asked you about your straightening experience and you responded and then I got the brazilian thing and neglected to update you after. I got that last year and it did not make one iota of difference. I mean maybe a little. A little tiny change but such little change that it was not worth paying for the process and then staying dry for 3 days etc.

I JUST (two weeks ago) got a real chemical straightening treatment - from Paul Mitchell - designed for caucasian hair so in theory less damaging but who really knows. I have to say I love it. It has been two weeks, and although my hair is not bone straight as I wish it would be, the curl and most annoying cowlicks are WAY reduced. It is still wavy when air-dried and I still have to style it but much less and with less heat. I will be doing this again for sure.

Keep us posted!

[Kristin]

My hair is that curly ALL THE TIME. I swear by Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine leave in conditioner. It tames the curls and lets them look like ringlets instead of me looking like a white woman with an afro.

As for wall clings, check out uPrinting.com They can take any picture and put it on a peel off vinyl sheet. You could pick some really cute pictures for Carolyn and Edward. I might be able to come up with some good decoration ideas if you could sketch a diagram of their room layout.

[elsimom]

In the summer, in the Twin Cities, we go to the Arboretum, the zoo, the como zoo, the Science Museum, the Children's Museum, the Fire Fighter's Museum, and the farmer's market. We also go to parks a LOT!
On rainy days - join the teeming throngs at Edinborough (or one of its clones in other communities).
Our kids just tried a place that was new to us: The Works (it is in Edina). It is a hands-on place with a scientific bent. To quote my son "They have these robot arms, with controller panels, and then you can pick stuff up and move it and . . . ." they had a blast and it was only $5 per person (and the twinks would be free - my 2.5 year old had a good time too). There is a place that I understand to be similar in South Mpls called Michelangelo's Basement (which I find weird, because I think DaVinci's Basement would be more appropriate, but whatevs. . . .) but I am not sure if they just do classes or if they also have open hours.

Have you taken Patrick to the Bakken Museum? I think he might like that.

My sister swears by the "Curly Girl Handbook". My hair has only a hint of wave, and only on the ends, so I am no help on that topic.

[Christiana]

My hair has gotten straighter with age, but that could also be attributed to the daily manual straightening I did throughout high school and parts of college... who knows?

Cheap room refresher ideas include paint and linens for the "big kid" beds. Paint is cheap and this summer all the sheets and stuff are on sale for the college crowd (you can easily find some that are fine for kids, too).

[Carrie (in MN)]

Not to knock your stylist, but is she a fellow curlyhead? Because for me, avoiding the "wider than it is long" look starts with a really good haircut by someone who understands curly hair. If your hair is truly cut in a blunt cut at the shoulder, then that's probably part of the problem. I can recommend a really good stylist in St. Paul, if you're interested.

My hair didn't seem to get curlier as I've gotten older, and my mom is upset because her hair at age 70 is less curly.

[shadymama]

have you considered dreadlocks?
(i'm actually *not* kidding).
curly hair looks AMAZING in dreadies, frizz is just part of their appeal and you only have to wash it once or twice a month (that, there, is my favorite part).
i dunno. it works fer me - though i do live in the "worst dressed city in america" and rarely check myself out in the mirror...

[kara]

I love reading about your family and adventures. I am of absolutely no help in the hair or decorating departments, but I wanted to wish Patrick a happy natal anniversary! What a terrific kid, and I agree with those who have observed that he already does have international acclaim via this site.

Also, I am quite a bit older than Caroline and still have to be dragged away from cake by my ankles.

[Sally]

My hair is stick straight so imagine my surprise when my little girl's hair grew in CURLY CURLY CURLY! It's the kind that EVERYONE comments on and wants to touch - especially older women. The best advice I've ever gotten for managing her hair is thus: Bouncy Cream by ISO. (they have a whole "Bouncy" line but I've never used any of the other products) It's light enough to use on my 5yo, smells great and works like a charm to help the curls keep their shape so she doesn't turn into Bozo.

Kara: HAHAHAHA!!!

[Emily]

Lifelong ringlet head here...throw away your brush! Use Tigi Curls Rock Amplifier in wet hair after shower, twist tendrils around your fingers to form spirals or curls that are non-frizzy, and they diffuse dry without touching much or breaking up curls. Only after it's totally dry can you then shake looks the curls for a softer, but still frizz-free look. Then, if you can only wash every other day, and on off-days use a leave in conditioning/detangling spray to settle down bed-head and reform curls. I've done this for years, and it's fool-proof!

[Julie]

To answer your question about your hair changing with age...yes it does and probably will continue to change with time. As someone who has naturally wavy (read that as incredibly frizzy) hair, I feel your pain. However, Biolage (by Matrix) has a great new product out now and comes in a shampoo AND conditioner and let me tell you, this stuff is THE BEST stuff I've ever put on my head. My hair, even after I use a flat iron on it has always felt like hay. So when my stylist recommended this as something I might like, I scoffed at the idea. I've tried HUNDREDS of products over the years. Before I flat iron my hair I sort of look like Einstein only less bald on top. It looks madly thick and big. Truth is, it's very thin but it becomes so frizzy after drying that it looks gigantic. So let me tell you that the product is called Biolage Smoothing Shampoo and Conditioner. I've noticed lately that Walgreens has started selling some real salon products but I warn you, you'll pay a hefty price for it if you get it there. It will still be expensive but trust me when I say that it's worth every dime! If nothing else, you might ask your stylist if he/she has it on hand to use the next time you get a cut. Or you could ask he/she to see if they could order you a small sample of the product that you could buy. Like 8 oz or something. But you should really try it, I think it would help your hair situation a lot.

As always your kids are adorable and happy birthday to the ever sweet and kind Patrick. I love that he loves his little bro and sis. That he protects them and watches over them, melts my heart. Having gone through many IVF's myself and then having to have a hysterectomy, I was only blessed with one child. So I love that he loves them and shows it.

Have a wonderful day, Julia!!!

[Rachel]

Just wanted to add my YES to the others RE: Brazilian blow-outs --- I had much curlier/frizzier hair after my two pregnancies, and just had this done three weeks ago. I cannot tell you how it makes me feel to have smooth, shiny, beautiful hair day after day! Seriously, even my husband, who would not normally want to get behind such an expensive "luxury" has been forced to admit it was worth it (cost about $250).

[jen]

I haven't seen it mentioned yet so I'm going to say MoroccanOil. Now I have straight hair so keep that in mind but my hair does tend to frizz and that stuff is awesome. The other thing I would say is the cut could be 90% of the problem. My hair will often start doing strange flipping and I don't think there is anything to be done and yet I go to my stylist and boom, she fixes it. So maybe try someone else next cut? And I also really like Aveda's Smooth Infusions Conditioner for less frizzing. It is expensive but less so than the keratin treatments, it seems.

[CA]

I think Patrick is a gift and I'm not even his mother. So I forgive you the sentiment.

[Jane Whittington]

For decorating ideas, check out apartmenttherapy.com. They have a connected kids website that you can access by clicking on the link at the bottom of the page. They're big on cheap and diy and have fun ideas.

[BethF]

As an accountant, you have no idea how much it excites me to hear that Patrick invoiced you. That is classic. Perhaps you have a future CPA in your house. I am jealous.

Re the frizz control - Avon has a new product called Lotus Shield Frizz Control. It is supposed to work amazingly well. One application and done.

[Jenna]

My experience with the Brazillian blow out is that you keep your curls. I was not overly impressed. No enough bang fot the buck. I do, however, like and recommend Bumble & Bumble's curl creme. I use it every single time I was my hair. Rub some in when your hair is towel dried and voila, done!

[Tonia]

If you decide not to go the chemical straightening route, I heartily second Carrie (in MN)'s recommendation of finding a stylist who understands how to cut curly hair. That plus the guidelines in Lorraine Massey's Curly Girl have made my hair less frizzy and a lot healthier and taught me how to avoid triangle-head.

The forums on naturallycurly.com are a great resource for product recommendations and styling techniques.

[Julie]

Sarah at Hair Thursday is behind it so I'm a believer - http://www.hairthursday.com/index.php?s=keratin

[Courtney Groeneveld]

As for the hair thing, I have no experience whatsoever (my hair is straight straight straight), but Sarah over at Hair Thursday posted something about this last week and it was pretty convincing: http://www.hairthursday.com/?p=4324.

[Nina]

My pin-straight hair turned wavy right about the time I turned 40. I haven't had Brazilian straightening, but I know people who have done it and they love, love, love it. If the curls don't agree with you, spend the money. (Oh and your kinds are so, so beautiful).

[jan]

Ikea has a "princess" canopy for a girl's bed that's fun and cheap. Also, I always wanted the ceiling in my room to be the sky, so I have done that for several children's rooms, both day sky and night sky and once both, shading one into the other from one side of the ceiling to the other. I know you're not crafty, but even if you don't bother with various shades of blues and creams, you can still paint a flat sky blue and clouds are incredibly easy to paint with a sponge -- not daubing, but smear on a blob of paint and then spread it out with a wet sponge (ordinary sink kind, not the natural). There's something about having the sky on the ceiling, not the walls, that makes you think... kill me for using the expression, "out of the box."

[Mary]

I just did the skip the shampoo, just condition thing. Used Aveda Be Curly and dried my curly hair and it turned out a lot better than yesterday when shampoo was used. My hair feels much softer and smoother, not frizzy. My hair was straight until I was 12. Got it cut and sproing!, curly hair ever since. I blame puberty, so all the people talking about hormonal changes sound right to me. In your case it sounds like the length was weighing your hair down, pulling out the curls. Didn't you have good luck with Aveda years ago? Tell us what works. Hopefully something that doesn't cost hundreds of dollars. Happy belated birthday to Patrick!

[Nearlydawn]

I've researched a LOT on the kid bedroom thing... I found that Ikea is a GREAT place to get cheap kiddo stuff - good dressers for $150 or less, beds http://www.mygrowingchild.com/WallStickers.asp?ShowAll=True&UniqueID=

Enjoy!

[Nearlydawn]

Crap... I just posted a whole comment about my research into kiddo room-redo and it looks like this damn computer ate it and spit back out only a garbled portion of what I wrote. Sigh.

If you do or don't go to ikea just click the link above to humor me - you'll find great wall cling-sticker things. I love ours.

[Dead Bug]

Patrick just slays me. I wish he was MY big brother.

As other commenters have said, hair does change with pregnancies, but it also changes with age. It becomes wirier and drier as we approach perimenopause. I've always had thick, wavy hair but then it turned into a godawful fright wig around 39. After more than a year of battling with blowdryers and products and straightening irons, I couldn't live with it anymore and got the Brazilian keratin solution last Saturday ($250 at my salon, plus a $95 cut that thinned it substantially and $50 worth of special shampoo and conditioner--definitely not cheap). After a couple of days without washing, as required, I washed and styled it a few days ago and, while the body is still there, and some of the wave, the frizz is gone. GONE! Hallelujah. I am thrilled with the result.

[shelli]

I had the keratin straightening done on my hair....not sure the exact name of it (i am from Australia - but surely would be the same as over there?) and my hairdresser took me to the training when she learnt as she needed a model.....best thing ever i have had done for my hair and i didnt pay for it but i will get it done again...its been just over 3months and i love it!!

[Sarah B]

Maybe this is redundant, but give this a try:

http://www.wikihow.com/Follow-the-Curly-Girl-Method-for-Curly-Hair

At age 40 I am finally at peace with my hair - after years of cursing the frizz.

[bad penguin]

You just need good hair product! Bumble and Bumble Curl Conscious Cream and/or (when the DC humidity gets too high I mix them together) TIGI Curls Rock help keep my curls from getting too big. Also, if you cut a lot of length off, you might have "shocked" your curls and they'll calm down a bit as they get used to the new length.

[catherine quaile-leahy]

Austria!!
just come on over..... miss you all. love C

[Wordgirl]

I can't summon up a witty response here because all wit is being sucked out of me by a lovely almost seven month old -- which reminds me that its been about seven months since the locals met -- and I am crushed I didn't get to meet you all, and not to get all weird but particularly you because I just adore your writing and that doesn't happen to me all that often.

Alert me if there's any more whisperings of a local get-together!

Pam

[nancy dolan]

"twins entertaining each other" is a myth until about 3-4 years old. My identical twin girls (age 7) barely knew each other existed until around 3 or 4 when yes they could spend HOURS happily playing together. Then its just awesome! Not all the time, of course but enough!

[Juisarian]

I am touched at the beautiful way to talk about Patrick. He must be such a lovely boy.

[llcsis]

"Are Steve's fingers broken?" Snort. I am as rarely seen as the abominable snowman in my family pictures. Now it's kinda too late to put my foot down, as they're teens and I'm divorced. I suggest you rectify this now, bc you (and hopefully they) will regret later that there are no pictures of you.

[goji berries]

It changes with the age and it also depends upon many other things too.

[Ally]

I have thick curly hair and have learned to go cheapo with it: after shampooing and conditioning in the shower, fx curl booster fixative gel ($6), then conditioner (I use Pantene Medium Thick). The fancy stuff just hasn't been necessary for me. Good luck!

[jill]

velcro rollers. it will tame the frizz and make hair soft. follow up with a flat iron and you're good to go.....

[TheLuckyGal]

I love bright, primary colours for kids' rooms (both genders) - i.e. bright yellow walls with red gingham curtains and bedding. Ikea always has cute, bright colourful, non-gender-specific stuff.

[Karen]

YES, hair changes as you get older. I used to have stick straight hair (much to the dismay of my mother, who had had permed hair since the age of five and wanted my hair to be "bouncy", but I rebelled against all her permanents after the age of 14)...it was stick straight except for one little cowlick at my nape.

After three children, two of whom had baby curls like you wouldn't believe (and now have straight hair), and one who had baby fuzz that turned into nice wavy hair, I have wavy hair. It's not curly like yours, but it's wavy enough that if I don't blow dry it, it looks...wavy. It's weird. I don't associate myself with wavy hair, and if I do blowdry it I get a lot of frizz. I am trying to resign myself to the wave and live with it.

[Abby Spice]

The keratin is magic. I know it will wear off/grow out and I might not be able to afford it again, but right now it is magic. Magic. Even my father, not one to spend money frivolously on hair, said it was worth it.

Did I mention magic?

[Lori]

A fun, free thing that my kids liked to do when they were younger was make an obstacle course in the yard with things they found around the yard and in the garage. The course was different every time they made it. Sometimes they would each make a course and then the other would have to do it. Sometimes they would write the directions for each station in sidewalk chalk. Example stations: shoot three free-throws, jump rope 10 times, hula hoop for 15 seconds, go across the monkey bars or down the slide, ride your scooter to the front door, then run around to the back, etc.

[Jala]

My hair has slowly gone from perfectly straight (age 4--judging from photos) to slightly wavy (age 25) to somewhat wavy (age 35) to getting-a-little-scary-life-of-its-own-kinky-curly-wavy (currently, age 45). I'm a bit afraid of the future of my hair.
I hadn't known hair could do this--change like this, I mean.