Strung Hams

I realize that these last couple of posts have made it sound as if I want to treat Caroline like a convicted juvenile offender (held until she is 18) but in truth she is merely a person of interest. I just wanted to keep her in a safe place for twenty-four, seventy-two hours tops; and then, of course, throughout her transportation to Vermont and back. After that I am willing to bow like a willow to the inevitable and her real bed (shall we call it a launch pad) is made and waiting for her should she choose to move out of her pod. The Morning After (you got that that was all in one night, yes? good - I'm sure I'm more clever when it isn't midnight and I am armed with a drill to keep things attached to walls) I proofed her room as much as I can by which I mean I removed everything that she had not already thrown onto the floor so as far as I am concerned... enjoy! I should add that although I have nothing but admiration for you free-range baby raisers I will continue to confine her to her room (door-knob thing works fine; padlock awaits - I am kidding. sort of) forever or until she learns to fly because this is the door to her room

 

and that is the (messy) bookcase that Caroline could climb with both feet tied behind her head and this

is the other side of that bookcase. I mean how do you baby-proof that? With a jump net?

So you remember my phobia about falling and yeah. Not happening.

Speaking of phobias I thought it was interesting how people react to the peapod. I find caves cozy. A close friend - who dislikes elevators and airplanes et al - said, "You're going to shut her up in some kind of little burrow?" and then had to breathe into a bag for a while. Patrick was on the roof with Steve yesterday (I repeat. on the roof. the roof of my house. my living heart was on the tippy part of a roof) and it was all I could do to restrict myself to a croaky "Be careful" before going back inside rather than screaming GET DOWN! GET DOWN! thereby turning my perceptions of what is safe into some kind of parental virtue.

He eventually got down. He was fine.

Anyway

The "EAT please" sign was made by Patrick two and a half years ago. After Edward came home from the hospital Patrick noticed that we were short a baby so we told him his sister was very little and needed to stay in the hospital until she grew some more. He withdrew to his room and then emerged to put up the sign for her. I am never taking it down.

Speaking of Patrick and his room and paper and his projects and violins...

Patrick does really interesting things with paper, preferably card stock when he can get it.

This is a two-story house he built

Can you see the flower pots on the balcony and the little coffee cup on the table?

Both parts of the roof flip up to reveal the interior. Here's a staircase. The lower level has a fireplace to go with the chimney and a couch and what not. He does nice work. I don't think I would personally have him as an architect as he brooks absolutely no outside influence but some people like that. Look at Frank Lloyd Wright. I assume more than one client mentioned that they owned stuff, stuff that they liked to put in places like closets but did he listen? No.

My point is that Patrick is sent to his room at eight and by eight-thirty he usually makes it in there and then he builds... whatever. It is not uncommon for him to continue to poke his head out for hours with a conciliatory, "I know I am not supposed to come down but..." followed by the fact that he is about to drop down dead right that second due to a lack of food or water or Scotch tape or more Scotch tape or the other night he asked me for a violin. In all seriousness. Like I keep them next to the flour. I said no sorry go to bed and forgot to ask what the hell.

Turned out he had been experimenting with creating string instruments (he loves the double bass for some reason) and that was why he wanted a violin - for a template. Without one he went, um, lyre?

And that is the asterisked story of the violin.

The end

PS And now I'm really leaving and I mean it.

PPS This post brought to you by the fact that the "few things" I have left to pack cover the guest bed in its entirety and half the floor.

Comments

[Jennifer LB]

Don't leave yet! Read this 1st and then come visit.

http://theithacapost.com/2010/06/08/invisible-cities/

[Laura in PA]

Oh, the EAT please sign! Goodness, that just made me all teary.

[Cobblestone]

Please email me your address so that I can keep Patrick in cardstock until your whole house if filled with tiny houses!!!!!

[shriek house]

I dunno, looks to me like Patrick's been sneaking out to take in some Gehry influence.

[Helen]

Is that duct tape? :) He's growing up to be a man, I see. His house is great. The scalloped edges add some character too.

[L.]

If you're just so beset with spare time in Vermont that you don't know what to do with yourself and find that you'd like to meet some freaky internet stalker, um, I live in Vermont, and I would totally come to some kind of meetup thing.

But, you know, I understand if that doesn't sound so appealing.

In any case, welcome to our state! See what I did there? I assumed your trip is going to go just fine. (I really hope it does.) I hope you have a great time here and that Caroline doesn't take her Houdini thing too far. I am imagining you machine-sewing her into the Peapod.

I totally lock my kids in at night (I mean, with the doorknob, no actual locks needed so far, knock on wood). The stairs are right next to my son's room and he is untrustworthy. Once at my parents' he got up at 3am and went down to the kitchen to play. Another time he let himself out into the yard during dinner and took off. Thank goodness he never mixed the two ideas, but he might some day.

[Jacquie]

I thought the zip ties from the last post were a great idea, we used a pad lock on our daughters peapod to keep her in (just the small ones that come with keys on luggage). Of course she only used it when we were on vacation and she was obviously right next to us. I don't see a problem with it at all LOL.

[LMM]

Have a wonderful, wonderful time. And even if the drive is total hell there and back, those are the stories that you and your kids will tell over and over and over forever.
My sister and I, now 37 and 33, will still laugh till we cry remembering the highs and lows...OK, it's mostly the lows that make us laugh that hard...of our various family adventures.

Safe travels, hope it's wonderful.

[Erika]

Oh, so sweet (the Eat please sign).

Wright also didn't believe in tall people. My 6'3" husband hates him with a burning passion. Also, his buildings fall apart.

[N]

My mom likes to tell the story of how I made a violin out of a tissue box and a paper towel tube. Rubber bands, sadly, did not have quite the musical effect as violin strings.

[Dawn]

Ye gods, why do they design houses with death traps like that? My basement stairs are off my kitchen and have a similar half wall between the kitchen and stair well.

Gah.

Hope you have a wonderful trip!

[Kelli]

I have no problem with any parent doing what ever they need to do to keep their child safe.

That being said, I also have to fight between 'keeping them safe' and 'hovering like a helicopter' and I'm pretty sure at some point in the future my kids will insist I'm smothering them.

Love the houses. Give him an assortment of yarn and teach him to use a needle and thread, too!

[Cris]

You have all my sympathy on the packing. Its awful. But I can't delegate it to my husband because he forgets the important things; like shoes, or swimming suits for the beach vacation. And in a way I enjoy the logistical challenge of leaving enough room to bring things back. Coming back from San Diego last year our carry-on luggage alone included a decorative wall frieze, an ironstone pitcher, a handblown bottle, and my grandmother's serger. It was my tour de force.

Your half wall/bookcase hovering over the staircase and entryway freaks me out. I believe in locking doors anyway, but I think I'd add a chain latch to the kids doors if we had something like that. That kind of plunging opportunity makes me hyperventilate. Can Patrick design something to correct it?

I thought the violin was a Holmes reference and wondered what mystery Patrick was solving (Caroline's superhuman strength and agility perhaps?). Patrick is a deep thinker and I approve the use of musical meditation over narcotics.

Although, after a few hours on the road you may be reaching for the narcotics. Have a wonderful trip!

[Liz]

I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR FAMILY! If I could have children, I would want ones just like yours! Good luck on your trip.

[Jen]

I had almost pushed the death plunge built into your home deep into my subconscious but reading the comments brought it back to me. I'm having a hard time breathing though trying to imagine some kind of floor to ceiling baby gate that could go in front of the shelves helps move a little bit of air in and out.

Now the pod -- personally? It makes me want to breath in a bag too. But to put a kid in? No problem! The few times we've camped in our very spacious tent I have to reassure myself that I have keys/a jackknife/something sharp near at hand so that I could cut my way out if necessary. Then I can sleep. A little. My imagination runs on high in the dark woods.

My middle child was Carolinesque and had a crib tent (found him perched on the crib railing beginning his descent at 10 months). He never got out of it and when we moved him to a real bed, you could tell that he felt a little uncontained -- sort of the reverse of my claustrophobia. It took a few nights before he didn't sort of hunker into a little ball to recreate his cave.

[Melanie]

In the last house that my husband and I moved into before having a baby, we were perplexed to find hook and eye locks on the OUTSIDE of a bedroom door. "What the hell was going on in this house?" we wondered. "Were they locking people into their own rooms?"

Now, as the mother of a 2-year old, I understand. A few months ago we had to install a toddler-proof door knob cover on our front door because our little guy finally grew tall enough to reach the lock.

Hope your toddler-proof knob cover is better than ours as we've just discovered our small person has figured out how to remove it. Suddenly, those hook and eye locks don't look so crazy to us any more.

[Amy]

I remember being a kid and playing at a friend's house and thinking her parents must be evil monsters or something because there was a hook-and-eye on the outside of a bedroom door, up high where kids can't reach it. Now I totally get it.

My daughter has never been much of a climber or escape artist, so this may not help you, but I've been pretty pleased with how we baby-proofed her entire room, put a mattress on the floor, and put a baby gate in the door since she was about 14 months. I've never liked keeping her behind closed doors, but I don't mind the gate keeping her in.

[Jane]

we your loyal readers want to see a close-up of that wedding photo!

[Jen]

After my younger brother as a toddler wandered downstairs in the middle of the night to take a bite out of every donut in the box, and then start the dishwasher, my parents put a hook-and-eye lock on the outside of his door. As a baby, he was known to climb out of his crib,. pull his blanket out too, and fall asleep on his bedroom floor, up against the door, with his little fingers reaching underneath, as if to say "Get me out of this place!" Made it tough for my mom to get in in the morning.

Have a wonderful trip and take lots of notes so you can report all the highs and lows back to us!

[claire]

Love this post!!! The eat sign is amazing.

And on the 'burrow' I personally loved having such spaces as a child and know of a few families where they have used such a thing for years because where ever they go they can put it up in a corner for nap time and have some semblance of continuity/routine because the place inside is the same.

As for childproofing... If you attached a piece of firm plexiglass in front of the book case would that make it too hard for her to climb by effectively eliminating access to the shelf foot holds? ....as a temporary measure until she is older?

[Sara]

I'm so impressed...what a creative little love Patrick is! I'm so curious to see what he grows up to be!!

[Barbara]

I've catching up on reading your posts, and that Miss Caroline is a hoot! I hope the peapod containment works!

Caroline reminds me of one of my nephews, Ari. He could figure out any childproofing device or lock invented. My father spent an entire Saturday morning installing child-proof latches on every cupboard and drawer in my sister's kitchen. It took Ari only an hour and half to figure out how they worked. When he was 18 months he found a matchbook (in the couch cushions we think)and set the couch on fire when his mother left the room for one minute to answer the telephone. Fortunately it set off the smoke detector right away and my sister rescued him before he was hurt and before the fire could spread beyond the couch. Then there was the Christmas Eve at my house, when he had a meltdown of nuclear proportions and he crawled into our beagle's dog crate, curled up on the dog blanket, and fell asleep. I told my sister she could have the crate for his bedroom if she wanted, and I do think she was tempted! I never thought she would raise him, but he is finishing his freshman year in college, and is a very nice young man.

[christine]

Your kids are adorable.

For Patrick's midnight art I suggest he check out Bovey Lee for inspiration: http://www.designboom.com/weblog/cat/10/view/5584/bovey-lee-paper-cutout-drawings.html They're really stinking awesome. And I would recommend rubber cement over scotch tape, but probably not so much for you. But his art would be able to be more intricate. You think on it.

[Julia]

I got a peapod for mine, and it made him super sweaty. Sleeping in a t-shirt with no blanket ended up working.

[quirkfarms]

I love it that we are getting more blogs since you seem to be doing what I do while packing....ANYTHING ELSE! love the children and their adventures and especially their mama. have a glorious trip. quirkfarms

[Gillian]

As if Caroline couldn't or wouldn't let you know if she didn't like being in her pod. fofl

[jen]

Not sure if anyone mentioned this - but would it look too weird if you installed newel posts on top of the bookcase? You would have to put them close enought so that houdini couldn't get her cute little legs stuck, but it would solve the horrible-death-by-plunging-down-the-stairs problem. Whoever designed that house obviously never had children. Yikes! The sign made me cry, how sweet.

[Tracy]

My sister-in-law's staircase is very much like yours, except that there is no bookcase there. No railing. Nothing. Just a sheer drop to a wood floor several feet below. I don't know what the builders were thinking. Maybe they hated children. I don't even know how it could meet building codes, come to think of it.

Anyway, you know those things that go in the back of an SUV to keep dogs from climbing from the cargo area into the seat? I wonder if they make them in house sizes. Just a thought.

[Sarah]

Love this more than usual but am posting because my 2 year old LOVES the double bass and will "take" a violin as a substitute. The guitar (a mini one) is what he's getting instead. :)

And that bookshelf/staircase drop thingy of yours? Looks like a total death trap. Said with tons and tons of sympathy. If it were me, I'd put the pods on the ground floor and pray she never figures out how your super duper padlocks work.

Have a great time on your grand adventure.

[Christine]

My sister is a corporate event planner. She would describe her job as being the person in the polo shirt whose job it is to track down a violin at 11 p.m. if so asked. I'd guess she'd think a violin was pretty tame - she was once asked to come up with four clown wigs at about midnight. She freelances, if Patrick is interested.

[Jane]

I love Peter Callesen's paper cut-out art: http://www.petercallesen.com/
All of the 3-D images he creates come from the paper he has cut out.
If/When Caroline manages to escape your toddlerproofing you could remove the bookshelf and put up one of those balcony nets instead: http://www.safebeginnings.com/WebComponents/Catalog/Public/showproduct.asp?id=253&cat=Childproofing

[sarah]

good lord.

i haven't even finished reading this post, but by all means, please restrain her! so very dangerous. i apologize for the straight jacket comment...

you're a great mum.

[sarah]

p.s. frank ghery LITERALLY folds and crumples up paper to makes models of his buildings. and he's like, super famous.

[Shauna]

The book shelf death drop issue-You can have a plastics company make a plastic/acrylic guard that can be drilled to the space until she is not longer likely to launch herself over it. Kind of like a window. I can be drilled at the bottom to the shelf and at the sides to the walls. It can be as high as the ceiling or just as high as it needs to be to protect her. Eek! We will be doing the same here with our death drop soon.

Shauna

PS-the company here is called TAP Plastics, but it may not be a chain and we are in California.

[Kirsten]

How talented is Patrick? So talented! Love those buildings. And also love the Eat please story. Too cute.

I am glad that people have some constructive advice on the death drop, because my only thought was....move. At least until the twinks are 4. Yikes.

(Funny thing about today's post is it reminded me that my son is not actually the same as yours. I have been struck by how often there have been similarities. And I know other readers feel the same way with their kids and Patrick. How many kids really want to dress up like a letter for Halloween? It can't be that many, right? And do all those kids also see the color of numbers and adore Calvin and Hobbes? And how come I have never met a kid in the flesh like that other than my son, yet there are plenty of readers of this blog with kids like that? But, the similarities ended today. My son is not a builder...so I am less freaked out. Although he does like violins...)

[carrie]

Now I will be checking even more frequently to make sure the babies are ok! Please do SOMETHING about that horrible, horrible problem with the bookcase and stairs!

[mellie]

Steve and Patrick should be able to work together to make a blockade of the bookcase drop of death. Steve can build the security, and Patrick can provide signage. The peapod doesn't make me swim in cortisol, but the drop sure does!

[Hetty Fauxvert]

Re the deathtrap-masquerading-as-bookcase: Well, why not put a big net there? Caroline is clearly destined to make her huge freakin' mark in the world as an adult -- but to get there, she must refrain from going splat in your hallway. I'm guessing she will be at least four before you can really relax about that bookcase. As parents of twins, we have ended up with some rather odd-looking babyproofing (including the volleyball net doubling as gate in our back yard -- an area where you can't really gate it for real). But I prefer a slightly odd-looking house & yard to constant worry!

[Marcia]

im glad im not the only one who shows ppl pictures of there kids 'building projects'Gabriel is still using wooden blocks due tot he fact that is sister has a tendency toward wall art rather than paper art...but anyway he builds 3d cars complete with doors windows and side mirrors! he has also made a garage with a car wash and house with a garage!! really cute - Patricks house is incredible!!!

[U.]

Why don't you nail the bookcase shut with some piece of slippery wood until she knows better? So the allure of climable shelves is prevented? Don't envy you this problem...