Aposiopesis

Steve and I took the children to the pool yesterday. After careful consideration I think that going to the pool is my very least favorite thing to do with the kids. Worse even than accidentally dining at a nice restaurant or traveling with a layover at JFK. It has all of the stress of a normal family outing - random shrieking, mad dashes in opposite directions, FTS (floppy toddler syndrome)... plus water.

We've got Caroline who pulls herself up and out of the pool ad infintum only to immediately jump back in whether someone is there to catch her or not. The bad news is she cannot swim; the good news is she is really good at holding her breath. Then there is Edward who just wants to secure dominion over all of the pool toys. With Edward I am seeing first-hand how empire builders go awry because, ok, sure, Eddybear, you can have most of Spain and parts of northern Africa and, fine, Belgium but Russia, Edward? Really? If Edward was simply playing with a watering can I doubt anyone would challenge him. But when he gathers everything he can reach into his  arms and then starts trying to shove more stuff under his meaty thighs - it is going to cause a parental inquiry and a subsequent reallocation of ill-gotten ducks. Patrick, meanwhile, is fine as long as the water slide is open but once they close it (as they inevitably do) he finds that he has nothing better to do with himself than point out to Edward all of the toys he doesn't have (wah wah) or tell Caroline he'll catch her if she jumps and then he'll get distracted and paddle away as she is mid-leap. Not. Cool. Finally, trying to get all three kids dried off and back into their clothes while preventing them from slipping on the wet floors and cracking their heads open is a twelve man job for which we are clearly about twelve men short.

I watched another family at the pool a week ago. The Patrick aged kid climbed the stairs to the slide, waited her turn and then whooshed down while her mother and sister waited patiently at the bottom. It was the sister who fascinated me. She must have been about Caroline and Edward's age and she just... sat there. Waiting. Smiling. Clapping when her sister came down the slide. Meanwhile Caroline and Edward were going completely around the twist. As Patrick went down the slide Steve and I had to physically restrain the twinkles. They screamed and cried and thrashed and begged to go down the slide too, or back into the other pool, or over there or aaaiiiiiiieeeeeeeee aaaiiiiiieeeeeee aiiiiii... well you know. The pleasant child's mother gave me a look of sympathy. I expect it's the same look that the person in charge of the iguanas gives the howler monkey keeper when they meet at the zoo canteen.

I kinda hate the pool (how do you people with your own pools keep your toddlers from killing themselves? it seems unfathomable to me) so I keep trying to go all Meet Me in St Louis and fob the children off on the joys of our own front yard. Patrick has been quite helpful in this and with the aid of about a quarter mile's worth of garden hose and a few splitters, he and his friends created a waterpark (Sassyland Wet and Wild Thrillpark - he suggested we might need more parking; I told him to wait until we get an initial crowd count and then we can reassess the venue) using the swing set and a couple of sprinklers.

When Edward isn't fooling around with the system the hoses shoot water down onto the slides and it works surprisingly well. Muddy, my god, there are no words to describe how dirty they get and Steve keeps making dark prophecies about sinkholes but it's fun and - according to Patrick who seems to have read every travel plaza sign between here and Vermont - Buses Welcome.

Caroline and Edward were accepted today into the toddler preschool class that starts in September. I always have a hard time with change (I worry about everything. Choking, mainly, and bear attacks) but for the most part I am excited. I think it will be fun for them (well, that is what I think when I am not thinking that they will be suicidal with the grief of missing me) and I like that it is a class just for two year olds. Caroline and Edward have their weaknesses but they are both extremely good at being two, so it should work out beautifully.

At the Y Caroline ran up to the short counter as I handed our membership cards to the woman behind the desk.

"I'm Caroline," she said.

The woman said, "You're who?" and looking at the cards said, "Oh! Caroline! Hello!"

Caroline said, "I'm going to the pool! Won't that be fun?"

And the woman said yes, yes it would be fun.

Patrick prodded Edward forward as well.

"Edward can you tell her what you name is?" he prompted. Then he said, "Oh! Did I give too much away?"

Caroline frowned at Patrick, patted Edward and said to the woman, very formally, "Thank you." Then "Come on Edward," and he came.

They've been getting a little more twin-y lately.

At breakfast they sit across from each other and have some version of the following conversation:

Edward: [Observation]

Caroline: That's pretty stupid.

Edward: No Cayayine! Sep out! Not soopit! Comkal!

Which just goes to show that Caroline has absorbed Patrick's second-grade vocabulary while Edward has taken to heart our attempts to modify the same with a wide-range of possible adjectives (that's... funny! ridiculous! hilarious! comical!) Caroline has countered with: that's really... stupid; that's pretty... stupid; that's kinda... stupid.

If you can't tell, we seem to be losing at word games.

Oh and I have no idea where he got "step out" as a reprimand but he accompanies it with the extended palm of negation. For some reason it always makes me think of James Brown: push with the palm "Step out!" heels up "Yow!" and spin.

But the twin thing. She gave him a hug the other day. 

 

He helped her push a heavy chair over so she could climb onto a new table and investigate a new lamp while he played lookout. Granted he was looking in the wrong direction but it's always hard to get good henchmen.

And he not only let her ride his pushcar, he drove.

 

It's possible they are growing fond of each other.

Patrick qualified for OT and started something called IM two weeks ago, which is... OK, I really don't know what it is. It has the word "metronome" in it and it involves him patting his right hip and tapping his left toe 500 times and then switching to his left hip and his right toe. This is REALLY REALLY difficult for him and he hates it, mostly, but to his credit he is working very hard and making fairly remarkable progress. Last week he was toward the bottom with the IM stuff, this week he hit the average range. I have gotten used to Patrick picking up on things (most things) pretty quickly and sometimes I do not give him enough credit for it. Patrick was in the bottom percentile for speech at two and a half but by three he was around the ninetieth. Every week he would master a new skill and then he was done. At the time I was, like, good, fine, ok, that was easy, but in retrospect he's pretty amazing. Watching Edward's more leisurely progress in speech has been an introduction to normal, which is fine but I find I have needed to adjust my expectations. I had assumed that Edward would be done by the end of the summer but the fact that he still drops final consonants when he strings words into sentences makes him an interesting conversationalist, to say the least, and I don't see him graduating from speech any time soon. In fact, I have asked about moving him back to twice a week because he seems to have plateaued. 

I just got my final final deadline for my article and between now and then Patrick and Edward have three therapy sessions between them, Steve has two meetings, we're having a little dinner party and we are driving to Colorado. This would be cause for moderate concern but additionally I just realized that I had misunderstood how they wanted the intro written, so it will need to be completely re-written. I am so screwed. Excuse the abrupt departure but I need to go breathe into a paper bag and then maybe throw up a few times.

A propos of nothing and assuming I survive: what is the best book you've read this summer?

PS Whoops. I was so busy freaking out I forgot to tell you what my favorite book of the summer has been. Um, it was not Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief although I will acknowledge that it was better when I started reading it than listening to the recorded books version. The voice actor we heard just seemed to emphasize the less than stellar writing with weird pauses and odd inflections. "Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie"? Did I read that this summer or was it more late spring? Regardless I liked it.

Comments

[rosie_kate]

I'm currently reading Romancing Miss Bronte by Juliet Gael and highly enjoying it.

[jen]

I have a Caroline when it comes to the pool. And I can barely keep him under control so I can't imagine having any more than one child at the pool. That being said he LOVES the pool so we have to go once in a while. We have a boat so I also want him to be comfortable in the water so he has done lessons too. I wish I had one of those happy sitting smiling kids but no. Oh well.

Best books this summer...well I am currently reading George RR Martin series A Song of Fire and Ice and I can't seem to stop reading it. But it is so full of detail...not the best "summer" reading. I also finally read the second book of The Hunger Games and loved that.

[Just me]

Julia-
Due to a need to be distracted and your gift for doing so I've been reading your archives during a difficult time. (hey best thing I read all summer?). You need to look back at when Patrick was 5 and you were anxious about summer camps. You wrote many of the same things you've worried about with the twins and preschool.

As for best book, despite listening to my mother's anguish about oh the sexism, I've really, really enjoyed re-reading Little Women. Sexist or not they didn't know it then so it doesn't count. I think. Or I'm such an independent female I just don't care. Something like that.

[suz]

Blackout by Connie Willis. But wait until November because the sequel (All Clear) is coming out then and it ends on a cliffhanger. Wish I had known that before I read it!

[Catherine]

I live in Colorado! If you're in the Denver/Boulder area and would like ideas for kid stuff, email me. There's fun water stuff that's not a pool. An amazing childrens museum that the twins are well suited for but P might find boring. I am happy to send you linky love to save you some research.

[Steph]

I liked Water for Elephants.

Your posts are wonderful. Pools and lakes make me a nervous wreck . . it is usually me and the 2 kids and I spend my entire time making sure I see 2 blond heads.

Good luck with your article.

[Luise]

Books: Jane Gardam's Old Filth and The Man with the Wooden Hat (not brand new; read in order). Kate Christenson's The Great Man. Also Robert Barnard's latest -- a real page turner.

I second Sarah's comment: I love me a good Julia post. Your resilience and humor impress me no end. Three cheers for preschool. It should be a plus for everyone involved.

[Maria]

I hadn't read _To Kill a Mockingbird_ since the 7th grade. I re-read it this summer and that, flat out, has been the best thing I've read thus far. Re: the pool. This year, I love the pool as long as there is another adult with me. I have a three year-old and a two year-old; it's not twins but it is two non-swimmers. I am a big fan of the backpack-type floatation devices or the vests. Both work quite nicely in keeping your children afloat AND both have an under-crotch snap that Caroline will take a whole quarter hour to detangle herself from instead of her usual 0.57 seconds.

As far as pre-school, my daughter started at the same age as C&E. I thought she'd be miserable. Day 3: "Bye, Mommy!" She never looked back, and, drama queen though she can be, never shed a tear. We started talking about it early, and she was totally into the accessories that go with school (backpack, lunchbox). They might surprise you. Just THINK of all the toys that Edward will see and attempt to amass. . . .

[Tine]

You're driving to Colorado soon? No way. So are we. Leaving Saturday morning.

My favorite book so far this summer has been Nick Hornby's "How to Be Good." Speakinawich...I'm almost done with it, and I'd better get a new novel before the upcoming megaroadtrip.

[yammeringon]

Has Edward happened to see Dead Like Me? Because Jasime Guy uses the phrase "step out" with a palm out hand motion (she's Roxy) and I've never seen anyone else do that before...

[yammeringon]

*ahem* Jasmine Guy

[Kristin]

I've been reading forever, but the discussion of books has me finally delurking. The Help & Baking Cakes in Kigali. Both amazing!!!! I'm also a huge fan of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society. I could go on and on, but I'm pretty sure those are my favorites from the past year.

As for the pool- both of my boys (3&2) wear actual life vests at the pool if they aren't confined to the baby pool. Not the inflatables since most pools don't allow them, but actual coast guard approved... like this: http://tinyurl.com/2a9r5o5 It lets them play and swim, and I can relax if one of them goes the opposite direction or jumps in on their own.

Have a great trip to CO!

[Eli]

"The Book Thief" and "The Help" are my suggestions.

Yay for the trip to Colorado! Maybe I will spot you while you are here.

I think life vests may be in order. I have never had them for my girls, but am now considering it after watching my nephews use them. I used to think it prevented kids from learning to swim, but I think the stress that it relieves is worth whatever delay there may be in learning to swimming.

[Madelyn]

One Day. Sad that I finished it. I liked The Help but put in in the same over-hyped category as Larsson. Just finished the new Jennifer Weiner, too. Don't.

Oh, and I also am a HUGE fan of ISR. YouTube the video. Really.

[Minneapolismama]

We've been reading the Stieg Larsson books (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, etc) around here, and enjoying them. They're flawed in some ways and I think we're hesitant to start the third for fear that enough of our questions won't be answered, but definitely worth reading!!

[Rosie]

When we installed our pool, I immediately took myself to the Target and bought my toddler a suit with inflatable bladders. BEST PURCHASE EVER. Yeah, your kids will look like suicide bombers, but floating suicide bombers.

[carrie]

The twins remind me of my niece and nephew, now 8 years old. They too are twins and they have their moments like any other siblings. But, when one is in trouble, the other one will cry! This has been forever. They hate to see the other one upset. He will still get in the bed with his sister and snuggle with her. Just like when they were in the womb. They definitely have each others' backs!

[jaybee]

Loved The Help and the Gurnsey Potato Pie books. Also reading Let the Great World Spin -- unbelieveable writing.

I still suggest The Candy Shop War for Patrick. Read it out loud to my three boys last Christmas -- they begged for more chapters every night.

[Barbara]

We're driving to Colorado this weekend. I'll be in Colorado a lot over the next few months. I will try hard to run into you.

Not to reopen the debate but I must point out again that the Artemis Fowl audiobook narrator is phenomenally better that the Percy Jackson narrator. Though the very last book had a different narrator that I didn't like as much.

[lizardek]

Seconding Ella Minnow Pea. Excellent stuff. Lark & Termite by Jayne Anne Phillips, and The Girl With the Glass Feet by Ali Shaw.

[crystal]

Whole Heart, Whole Horse - Mark Rashid. I love the idea of a cowboy named Mark Rashid, even if he pronounces it Rash-id. Sounds like a horrifying psychological concept.

It is not your average horse owner read. I would like to have enough money to buy the remaining books of his I do not own. And now he's branching out into fiction. If it's anything like his non-fiction, I may faint.

*sigh*

I'm becoming rather one-dimensional, neigh?

*groan*

Kick ass on the article. Have faith in yourself, grasshopper.

[TheLuckyGal]

The best books I have read *lately* (it is winter here <-;) are:

The Idea of Perfection - Kate Grenville (Aussie)
Dirt Music & Breath - Tim Winton (Aussie)
The Keep - Jennifer Egan
American Wife - Curtis Sittenfeld
Run - Ann Patchett
People of the Book - Geraldine Brooks (Aussie)
Juliet, Naked - Nick Hornby
We Need To Talk About Kevin - Lionel Shriver

[happy academic]

"I expect it's the same look that the person in charge of the iguanas gives the howler monkey keeper when they meet at the zoo canteen."

This made me laugh. A lot.

Best book so far: I enjoyed Lorrie Moore's Gate at the Stairs, and am really looking forward to Jane Smiley's latest.

[Pam L]

Nebraska, torpor, yes, but far better than Kansas!

The part about Edward hoarding all the water toys reminds me of Clem in Rose is Rose (Pasquale's cousin) NOT that Edward is greedy or selfish, just the image of him trying to hold on to all those toys!

I'm guessing you're doing the Springs area again and the mountains surrounding, yes?

[Linda]

The Help definitely, like I told my sister it is so hard to believe things were that bad then. Because we grew up then & it wasn't so long ago.
Also, read gods in alabama by Joshilyn Jackson, then her new one, Backseat Saints.

[Emily Faulkner]

The Help (as stated by a million people before me). Could. Not. Put. It. Down.
Also just read American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld. It's a fictionalized account of a first lady, based on the life of Laura Bush. I read Laura Bush's memoir first and then picked this one up - both are fascinating reads, no matter what your politics are. But American Wife was a particularly entertaining novel and another one I carried from room to room with me throughout the day.

[Carrie]

Best book--The Indigo Notebook by Laura Resau. It's YA, but very good. Not juvenille.

As for the pool, what about swim vests for the twinkles? I started my son in a swim vest for the pool when he was 18 months and it worked wonderfully. He could jump off the side all he wanted and not drown. Obviously I was still within arms reach, but it made me feel a lot better about things. He and Caroline would make a great dare-devil pair (except he's almost five).

[wm]

Favorite book of the summer - Half of a Yellow Sun.

[Missy]

Also just finished the American Wife and LOVED it! I agree, despite your politcs, great great novel.

For swimming, I will second the puddle jumpers. They are life guard approved, so can be used at most pools, beaches, and waterparks. The bright colors make it easy to spot your kids (I recommend the green and orange). Also, locally, I recommend this splash pad in Minneapolis for water fun. No standing water, completely fenced in, but such a blast. www.stlouispark.org/neighborhood-parks/oak-hill-splash-pad.html

Kind of a drive from where you are I think, but so worth it. I haven't found anything similar on the east side.

[Lisa S.]

I second the Infant Swim classes... they taught my 2 1/2 year old to swim in about 3 weeks. SWIM meaning crossing the pool on his own... then at about 3 1/2 learned about Big Arms and all that stroke stuff. We put our baby in at 10 months and have failed to see the same success, prob way too early and we drank the Koolaid due to the older one's success. Anyway, infant swim. Survival Swim, I think it's called.

[Amie]

I read The Hunger Games in one day and am anxiously awaiting the next in the series from Amazon...so wonderful!

[MaryB]

"Old Filth" and "The Man in the Wooden Hat" by Jane Gardam. Wonderful - should both be read - one is from the husband's perspective and the other more from the wife's. She is a wonderful author, well known in England and virtually unknown here.

[Jess]

I'm enjoying the Christopher Hitchens memoir in spite of its terrible title (Hitch 22) and the fact that he wrote that Vanity Fair article about women not being funny.

He's an E.F. Benson fan and mentions Benson early on.

[merseydotes]

I really, really liked Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen. There's some magic to the family the story is about, but it's not wizards and spells and flying. The character Evanelle is my favorite. She is compelled to give people things they will need without knowing why they will need them. I read this pretty quickly and really liked it. I then read The Sugar Queen by the same author. Not quite as good but still enjoyable.

Also, Backseat Saints by Joshilyn Jackson was very good though intense (domestic violence is the subject). It starts off with an abused wife being told by an airport gypsy she has to off her husband or be killed by him, and it jumps right in from there. Brilliantly written.

[elana]

my two are 4.5 now and i love reading about your younger ones. i love the twininess aspect of twins.

i would tell you what books i loved this year, but all the suggestions i got from your last book post so that wouldn't be useful! hopefully, i'll get some more suggestions this time.

[Caitlin]

I love it when you ask for book recs because I get to refill my "to be read" list. I have to add strong rec for Guernsey Literary... because it's lovely and very easy to pick up and put down. Also recently finished Olive Kittredge and really appreciated that book. Guernsey is a happier read, but Kittredge is powerfully written.

Umpteenth reader urging the use of water wings. That's saved my sanity with my 3 young not quite swimming kids.

[elana]

oh, wait! i thought of a great one that i did not find out about on your blog: special topics in calamity physics (marisha pessl). very smart, really loved it.

[Katherine]

I seriously understand about a couple of twin issues you are having. My kids are the oldest in their class at school because emotionally, behaviorally they are not ready for the next level (where other kids their age may be). Intellectually they are ahead of the game, however... I think this is due to me never being able to completely process behaviors with them, due to being busy trying to deal with the other at the same time. So pool-wise AND with school choices, we are on the same page. Mine are 5 1/2 now and they can stand in the pool, which has helped incredibly!

Funny, I used to take them to the park (probably ages 2 and under) and strap one in the McClaren stroller and play on the structure with the other, then switch. I was terrified the little dummies would jump off the high end of the structure. ;-)

[Katherine]

P.S. Are you sure Edward isn't saying "stop it!"?

[Jacquie]

I have always been a water person so it surprised the heck out of me when my toddler (who is 8 now) was scared to death of the water (she always loved it as a baby). I think it might have to do with her love for being warm. The girl will sit in the sun for hours next to the, lake/pool/ocean/river, while I will not get out of the water until its time to dry off and go home. So for her we bought a life jacket, one that straps under the tush and zips up the body. She still wouldn't spend an enormous amount of time in the water but she was at least less afraid of being in it. When she outgrew the life jacket last year, it was devastating to her that we actually wanted her to learn to swim. With a lot of protest (and the company of her friends swimming around her) she learned. She still will not swim across the pool with me over the 9 foot area but she will swim as long as she cant touch. AH progress!

[Arlene]

I 'm third in recommending "Old Filth" and "The Man in the Wooden Hat." Jane Gardam is the best.

A couple more strong favorites--also not new, but thoroughly excellent--Mathew Kneale's "English Passengers" and Sena Naslund's "Ahab's Wife."

Am I the only one of us literature-loving people who had to look up aposiopsis? --What a nice word!

Love your writing and your kids are so interesting!

[Flyover_Belle]

Oooh, my favorite posts are when you ask for book recommendations. I still have the one from when you went on bedrest bookmarked.

Not that I have anything to share, mind you. I just finished the most recent Outlander book, and then zipped through a re-read of HP#7. I'm trying to read what is on my shelves, but clearly there is a reason many of those books have sat there, unread, for varying periods of time.

Good luck with the swimming - the drive - and the article.

[Anne]

Ooooh...I live in Denver! Are you going to be in Denver? Lots of fun things to do here--zoo, art museum, natural history museum, children's museum, farmers' markets, parks, hiking, firefighters' museum, etc., etc.

(I'd ask if you want to get together, but I'm afraid that's too weird.....) :-)

[Kendra]

The Forgotten Garden: A Novel by Kate Morton
and
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie: A Flavia de Luce Mystery by Alan Bradley.

Thoughly enjoyed them both.

[Katherine B]

Not only did I enjoy this book, but my husband who does NOT share my taste also read it and kept reading passages to me . . . even though I'd just finished it the day before. It was such fun to share his joy that I simply nodded and agreed about what a great part that was!

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, by Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows. It's an epistolary novel, main character is a 30-something woman in post-WWII London. She becomes a correspondent with several folks on Guernsey, one of the Channel Islands that was occupied by the Germans from mid-1940 to the end of the war. Lovely, lovely story.

[Wordgirl]

I just love love love your writing.

I had the misfortune of going to a pool recently with our ten year old and Z who is almost 8 mos old. I was holding Z and dipping my feet in the baby pool and a mother with a toddler --not quite two -- was REALLY casual about her daughter say...standing in water ABOVE HER NOSE for what seemed like a good three seconds...until she stumbled and seemed to remember she didn't have gills...I was about to leap int the pool and having the mental conversation of what to do with the 8 month old in my arms...TOO MUCH STRESS.

Recently I'm reading Brad Kessler's Goat Song which is reminiscent of Annie Dillard -- until I got to a disturbing section on goats in heat and well, I'm off that book right now.

The last book I really read was before Z was born in Dec -- and in fact finished reading it in those early days -- Atwoods The Year of the Flood -- which loved even with the darkness of it.

Safe travels to my old stomping grounds!

P

[Ann]

I've just started reading the Ariana Franklin Mistress of the Art of Death series.

Really loved Amandine: A Novel by Marlena De Blasi. It's a beautifully written debut novel set in Europe right before WWII begins.

[Ami]

I've recently read "The Time Travelers Wife" and "GIrl with Dragon Tattoo" and just finished "The Lost Girls: 3 Friends, 4 Continents, and One Unconventional Detour Around the World" and I liked them all for different reasons. I would offer that the Steig Larsson books are [very] creepy and you have to have a stomach for that. I haven't decided whether or not to read the other two b/c it was just so dang dark, and I like to focus on the lighter side of life, usually. Still, it was a great, gripping story. I also second "The Help" is a good easy summer read. If you haven't read it yet, "the Glass Castle" is really, really good, too.

[Erin]

I'll recommend Kristin Cashore's books. Graceling and Fire.
Although Susanne Collins hunger games series
is also a must read.

[Meegan]

"The Help" was good, as were the Steig Larson series. But "Little Bee" was better. It was one of the best books I've ever read. The subject matter is tremendously difficult, but the voice is beautiful. It's a little "Hotel Rwanda", if you are familiar with that. But more a story of hope and humanity. Read it! Everyone I have given it to has put in their Top 10 of all time. It's that good.

I also enjoyed "Water for Elephants", and they're making it a movie with that vampire guy and Reese Witherspoon, so there's that. I'm now going back and reading Michael Chabon's (Love Him) "Wonder Boys" because I love the movie so much (in addition to a multitude of his other books...). It's the wrong order to do things but, meh. Oh! One last book! If you are looking for a guilty pleasure and you rocked the 80's hair bands, read "The Dirt", written by the original members of Motley Crue. Just picked it up and it's on my vacation reading list.